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3 Causes of Conflict on Social Media and How You Should Handle Them

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Imagine a world in which the constant digital distraction does not give your emotional intelligence a beating. A place where you can engage with others and not feel guided towards conflict and negativity. Sadly, this is not the world that we live in with regards to social media.

If you avoid the following three common causes of stress on social media, you’ll be able to find your digital respite:

1. Seeing the world in absolutes

We are all looking at the universe through our own keyhole. Our viewpoint will be based on various factors such as where we live, our education, our social group, and perhaps our income level too. It can be easy to get trapped into thinking that our version of reality is everybody’s reality.

We see this on Facebook all the time, especially when a viewpoint is country centric. We believe that our country or culture does things the right way, and that everyone should adhere to the same standards. This can be seen around major issues such as human rights and birth control. Additionally, this can be seen with micro conflicts that can be just as emotive, such as is it ethical to declaw a cat?

Oscar Wilde is quoted as saying “patriotism is the virtue of the vicious” and it seems that social media has taken that flag waving to a whole new level. Statements can be made without taking a moment to realise that people from other countries, cultures, and backgrounds may read it.

The point of the platform should be to communicate, to find out more, and add depth and range to your opinion. Sadly, nationalism seems to be on the rise across the west, and seeing the world in absolutes is one of the causes of this.

In 1775 Samuel Johnson said that “patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.” As you watch arguments unfold online, it seems this statement still rings true.

“Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t want plastered on a billboard with your face on it.” – Erin Bury

2. Taking the worst possible interpretation 

Words are the worst way to communicate, and in the written form we only understand 7% of what people mean. In person, the rest of the meaning is made up from body language and how the words are said. Even then, things can still be taken out of context or misconstrued. Online, misunderstandings can happen all the time.

It seems that some social media users are primed for conflict. A simple factual correction can be deemed an attack, or to be defending someone the original poster dislikes. We see this a lot in political discussions, as well as the many movements that are currently sweeping across the social and political landscape.

Your personal profile is part of your brand, and you should be using it to develop emotional connection, trust, and authority. A simple misstep, or being drawn in to a vicious argument, can ruin your standing and perhaps even your business. Take a moment to breathe and ask yourself, is what I’m thinking about posting worth it? Do these people know you? How well have they expressed their point? Should you ask for clarification before taking it personally and launching a war of words? See the best in people, and then respond.

3. Fuelling negativity by sharing conflict

This is common in entrepreneurial circles, and I suspect it might be an engagement hack. We are led to believe that someone has been attacked, or trolled, for something they said, did, or perhaps even for one of their products.

A hearty discussion has taken place in the DM’s, on a profile, or in a group, and there was a serious difference of opinion. Unable to just move on and put it down, they activate their tribe of like minded people. This is often linked to a click baity heading such as “you will never believe what someone just said to me…”

A virtual mob is formed, with the intention of supporting the posters viewpoint, and getting involved in the drama. If it was online, and the attackers name is known, then screenshots of the conversation may be shared. Some of the horde may break off and go and engage directly by posting their opinion on the original discussion.

Something else people do is adding fuel to the fire. A defensive force is mustered to counter this. We then have two groups of people yelling at each other with digital megaphones and with no intention of communicating effectively, learning, or listening. The sun sets once again on the digital landscape.

On social media, you may be communicating with people who have English as a second, third, or fourth language. They may have wildly different educational backgrounds to you or be going through an incredibly stressful time in life, so be kind to everyone.

“Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.” – Brene Brown

Online written communication is an appalling way to get your point across, and even in person we have roadblocks to traverse in order to avoid miscommunication. 

Life is stressful enough as it is without creating conflict. We have 1440 minutes in any given day, so ask yourself, “Do you really want to use them fighting battles that can’t be won or should you simply enjoy life?”

Share your thoughts below on social media, and how you try to avoid the negative people on there!

Darren Horne is an educator and consultant focusing on leadership and communications. He is an author of an award winning book, a Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner, on the board of trustees for an alcohol and addiction charity, and has been interviewed globally. His mission is to help a million people be a little happier. Darren also owns a martial arts studio focusing on mindfulness, emotional intelligence and life performance. You can find him on Facebook, and www.darrenhorne.com.

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Success Advice

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The surprising truth about leadership styles that can make or break your team’s success.

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The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025

Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

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Bridging the gap between employees and employers
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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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