Entrepreneurs
How to Handle Difficult People With Soft Skills
look at the commonalities amongst the people, not the differences to resolve conflicts

Handling difficult people is a challenging task in the workplace. It is easier said than done indeed! However, it is possible to handle them when you understand basic human psychology and endeavor to improve their behavior through soft skills.
In this regard, we will discuss assertiveness, handling difficult people, and exploring tools to handle them with the help of soft skills.
Assertiveness is a widely discussed topic in the workplace. People often confuse aggressiveness with assertiveness. Assertiveness is the art of saying ‘No’ without compromising one’s rights and without hurting others.
It is the art of saying ‘No’ politely but firmly. Assertiveness indicates ‘I am ok and you are ok’. In contrast, aggressiveness represents ‘I am ok but you are not ok’ and submissiveness describes ‘I am not ok but you are ok’.
Of all three situations, assertiveness helps, in the long run, to enable people to lead conflict-free and stress-free life. In a nutshell, assertiveness is a win-win situation where all stakeholders are in a comfortable position to accomplish goals and objectives.
Research shows that 80 percent of workplace challenges arise due to improper communication. Assertiveness is an integral part of effective communication. When people communicate assertively the message can be carried forward properly, positively, and peacefully.
For these reasons, companies conduct training sessions on assertiveness to enable employees to work peacefully and productively.
Leaders including Martin Luther King Jr, Mahatma Gandhi, and Winston Churchill led assertively. They succeeded as leaders because they did not compromise their principles.
Martin Luther King Jr fought for the rights of Blacks in America, Mahatma Gandhi fought for India’s freedom through non-violence and Winston Churchill was instrumental in winning the Second World War through assertive communication. Therefore, assertiveness is one of the pillars of effective leadership.
Assertiveness for resolving conflicts
People adopt different means to resolve conflicts. Some people avoid or withdraw from conflict due to a lack of confidence. Some people do not want to hurt others by striking people resulting in suffering silently.
Some people believe in striking back with aggression. It is a tit-for-tat scenario. And some people think coolly, and logically, and persuade others to understand the situation from multiple perspectives. They are assertive people.
As people are different in nature, their approaches toward conflict are also different. In a nutshell, in a submissive style, people avoid conflicts and suffer silently. In an aggressive style, people inflict pain on others by being indifferent to others.
In an assertive style, people empathize with others and strike a balance by respecting others as well as by protecting themselves.
When people are suppressed for a long time, they explode like a volcano after some time. It is basically because they failed to assert their ideas, views, and rights for a long time. Such behavior adversely affects health and leads to depression.
On the contrary, when people constantly dominate and dictate to others unmindful of others’ sentiments, views, and ideas, they will be disliked by others. Such aggressive people resort to conflicts everywhere.
They are a threat to corporate peace and harmony. These people demonstrate negative body language. Here are some tools and techniques to be assertive.
- State your feelings properly, positively, and firmly without hurting others.
- Empathize with others by becoming a good listener. Attentive listening helps ensure a better understanding of others’ viewpoints leading to assertive communication.
- Be objective, specific, and clear in your approach.
- Be cool and composed. Don’t lose your temper. Appreciate the fact that it takes years to build the relations but a few seconds to break them.
- Demonstrate positive body language to present your viewpoint.
- You can go for a sandwich conversation wherein you start positively initially then include your strong points to put across and finally end your conversation with positive points to enable the other person to receive the messages properly.
- When you dislike the actions of other people, instead of saying ‘you did like that’ you may say, ‘I did not like that’. Although the message is the same expressing ‘I’ defuses the problem subtly.
- Explore the ways and means to assert yourself.
- Repeat your points firmly until the message goes strongly to the other person.
- Never say ‘Yes’ to unfair and unreasonable requests.
- Practice assertion skills during your free time through your internal dialogue.
- Do meditation regularly as it helps keep your thoughts and emotions under control.
- Take feedback from your trusted friends about your behavior to bring out improvement.
- Don’t think of win-lose or lose-win but always think of a win-win situation.
It is not conflict but cooperation pays people finally. Assertiveness plays a crucial role in cooperation in the corporate world. It is time people realized the importance and significance of assertion skills.
It is the foundation for building leadership qualities. History has proved time and again that it is not ‘might’ but ‘right’ that succeeded in the end. Assertiveness is the key to surviving and succeeding in the workplace because it minimizes conflicts and maximizes productivity.
Tools to handle difficult people
To handle difficult people, you must understand your personality first. You must demonstrate positive body language and be assertive in your behavior. Here are some tools to handle difficult people.
- Be cheerful to break the ice.
- Don’t lose your temper. Keep cool.
- Listen attentively to avoid any confusion.
- Be assertive. Maintain positive body language. Be cheerful and stay positive. Address the behavior, not the individual.
- Use humor to break the bottlenecks.
- Don’t get defensive when you are criticized. Be prepared to act rather than react. Be positive and constructive in your approach.
- Empathize with others. Look from others’ perspectives for a moment to address the conflicts.
- Emphasize the collective goals and objectives and inform them that they are paramount.
- Be flexible. There is no tailor-made solution to handle difficult people. Apply different strokes to break barriers and build bridges.
- Don’t sweep the issues under the rug. Handle problematic people by addressing them with empathy and giving feedback.
- Be assertive. Remember neither aggressive nor submissive behavior helps in the workplace. Sharon Anthony Bower remarked, “The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well-being of others.”
Despite your best efforts, if there is no positive outcome to handling difficult people through soft skills, you may have to use negative motivation to set them all right.
Appreciate the fact that people are different with unique emotions, egos, and feelings. As long as people are there, conflicts are bound to erupt. There are always differences in opinions, views, perceptions, attitudes, aptitudes, and approaches in people.
Hence, it is essential to prevent conflicts through effective and efficient communication. If the conflicts are not averted, they would result in a crisis.
To conclude, look at the commonalities amongst the people, not the differences to resolve conflicts. The common thread running across the people will make human life peaceful, pleasant, and memorable.
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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”
While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.
Why This Gap Exists
Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.
What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.
Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap
Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.
1. Practice Mutual Empathy
Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.
2. Maintain Professional Boundaries
Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.
3. Follow the Golden Rule
Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.
4. Avoid Micromanagement
Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.
5. Empower Employees to Grow
Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.
6. Communicate in All Directions
Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.
7. Overcome Insecurities
Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.
8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship
True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.
9. Eliminate Favoritism
Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.
10. Recognize Efforts Promptly
Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.
11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews
When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.
12. Provide Leadership Development
Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.
13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles
Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.
The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role
Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:
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Build diverse talent pipelines
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Embrace flexible work models
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Design compelling career paths
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Simplify HR processes
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Redefine the value HR brings
The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.
Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff
When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.
Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.
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