Success Advice

The Five People Rule and How to Use It for Success

Published

3 years ago

Oct 31, 2018

Image Credit: Unsplash

When I was managing a large number of salespeople I would often tell them the way to increase sales revolved around the understanding of a technique I called, the five people rule. Very briefly, it states that if you line up five people shoulder to shoulder and asked all five their opinion of you, one will hate you, one will love you, and three will be indifferent.

The person that hates you may have any number of reasons for doing so. Perhaps they don’t like the way you look, the way you dress, or the way you talk. Maybe it’s the way you assert yourself publicly. Perhaps you’ve wronged them at some point or wronged a member of their family or their organization. Maybe their mother didn’t like your mother. Perhaps you did absolutely nothing! And this person simply doesn’t like you!

The person that loves you may do so for number of reasons. Perhaps the both of you are two suits, or two dresses, cut from the same cloth. (Your behaviors mirror each other!) You just get along famously with each other and like being in each other’s company. Perhaps you’ve done them a favor in the past; or got them or a member of their family a job. Perhaps, in this case, you made no overt attempts to be liked by this person, but they do like you anyway; it’s just you!

“If people like you, they’ll listen to you but if they trust you, they’ll do business with you.” – Zig Ziglar

In either case it really doesn’t matter. The fact of the matter is as we go about in our lives some people will naturally like us, and some people will naturally dislike us. The real goal here is to look at the three people that are indifferent to you. Because if you can get just one of them on the “love you” side, then you have doubled the proportion of people who like you versus dislike you.

Obviously, in sales this is very important, since people buy from people that they know, like, and trust. But, in everyday life this is important also not just because we can increase your circle of influence but it’s always nice to have people like you instead of disliking you.

So, the question becomes how can we gain enough of an understanding of our own behavior to tip the scales in our favor of other people’s opinions of us?

Here are a few ideas that I shared with salespeople and clients over the years, and I hope you can use them also in general interpersonal communication skills:

Analyze why the individual that doesn’t like you feels that way – There’s a very good possibility that you don’t like them either. Throw those feelings into the mix, and answer the question, “Based on this information what can I change about my behavior?” Please note, it’s not about the other person changing, it’s about you changing! The goal here is that if you change perhaps you can get the other person to change.
Analyze why the individual that likes you feels that way – How do you act and behave that endears you to this person? Is it possible to duplicate those behaviors with a different person?
Of the three individuals that are indifferent, which person do you think you would have an easier time behaving in such a way that they start to like you? – That’s the one you want to attract to you first. Since you feel that they are the most favorable to you, it’s like picking a piece of low hanging fruit! Based upon the knowledge you got from answering questions one and two you should be able to alter your behavior in such a way that would allow that one individual to come over to your way of thinking.
Forgive the individual that doesn’t like you – It really doesn’t matter why they don’t like you, just forgive them. There are no justified resentments! By forgiving that individual you remove all of the psyche rust that is keeping you from having other people like you (and you liking them). When you begin to understand that every word that comes from someone’s mouth is truly a prayer about themselves, regardless of who the subject is, the person that doesn’t like you is really showing an outward manifestation of their internal reflection. It’s not you! Forgive them.
If by chance, you behave in such a way that wronged that person who was holding something against you, forgive yourself – It is impossible to forgive someone else until you have allowed yourself the same privilege and honor. The past cannot be retraced. And the past does not necessarily have to be trajectory toward the future. If you can make it up to them, do so. If not forgive them and you and move on.
Have a mindset of always expecting the best in any interpersonal situation – Like everyone; and expect everyone to like you. That will begin to set up imperceptible behaviors, all fueled by your self-conscious mind that will attract others to you in a likable manner.

Think about other strategies you can incorporate to make the five people rule work for you. Share them! We want to hear what you have to say. Write your comments below.

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Biagio Sciacca

Biagio Sciacca, known to his friends as Bill, was a lifelong resident of Pittston, PA. He is the owner of Intelligent Motivation, Inc. a global consulting and training firm specializing in management and leadership training as well as psychological assessment for hiring and staff development. He is the author of several books relating to goal setting, and his third book, Provocative Leadership, is publishing soon. Now residing in Tamarindo, Costa Rica, he divides his time between his international coaching and training clients, writing his next book and wandering aimlessly on the beach. Feel free to contact Bill at bill@intelligentmotivationinc.com or schedule a call with him by going to www.intelligentmotivationinc.com and clicking on the “set up a call” tab.

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Success Advice

How Your Friends Determine Whether You Succeed or Not

Published

1 week ago

Oct 18, 2021

TheThrives

Image Credit: Unsplash

Can anyone do without having friends? We all have our friends, we share ideas with them, talk together, have fun, and fight. Yes, that’s the baseline of friendship. But, do you know that aside from you, your friends can determine whether you achieve success or not?

There are two things in friendship which are the ability to ”love” and the ability to “influence”. This means you are loved and you are influenced. How do your friends affect your success in life? How are they one of the biggest deciding factors of your success? Let’s find out.

What type of friends do you keep?

First, what type of friends do you keep? Who do you call your best friend? There are two different kinds of friends, good friends, and bad ones. A lot of people have lost their pathway to success and some have also found their road to success all because of the friends they keep, the people they mingle with.

Who is your best friend? Answer carefully. Having a best friend means you find each other compatible and understanding. Analyze who your best friend is. If your best friend has not motivated you to do something positive, if who you call your bestie has never given you positive advice, lastly if your best friend has never informed and advised you on your shortcomings, then you don’t have a best friend.

This quote tells us “birds of the same feather flock together”. Countless people have changed from their good nature into a bad one all because of friends. One thing to note is, “negative people move with negative aura”. If your best friend is filled with negativity inside-out then you will surely be affected by his/her negative aura.

They influence your success with positivity or negativity

The friends you keep can either influence you with positivity or negativity because your friends have the power to change your kind of person completely.

This is how your friends influence you:

They influence you indirectly with what they do
They influence you directly by teaching and giving you advice

Yes, that is how they influence you. For instance, you watch a movie and you like the way the actor walks. The question is if you truly like the way the actor walks, won’t you try to imitate the actor? Of course, you will.

Just the way you imitate the actor is the same way your friends can influence you with their character. However, the funny part is, they don’t have to teach you to do things like them. You just find yourself imitating and copying them gradually.

An important question to ask is, are you imitating a good friend or a bad one? If you imitate a good friend then you will be good, but if you imitate a bad person, you will surely become a bad person.

Everyone wants to succeed, a good friend will always teach, enlighten, and motivate you for success. A bad friend will only motivate you to do evil things (smoking, drinking, fight, envy,).

And you should know that things like that are a great enemy of success and even of God. So, if you have these bad elements in your life, how will you achieve success? There is no way!

And also, they can teach and advise you directly. But, what do your friends teach you? When you ask them for advice do they inspire you positively or teach you the bad stuff.? A lot of people have regretted lifelong decisions just by listening to the advice of friends.

The company you keep has the power to influence and change you. Never forget that a positive influence will teach, motivate, and brush you up for success. While a negative influence will inspire you to become a bad person, change your good nature, and leave you with regrets in the end.

Success Advice

The 3 Step Process to Building a Profitable Pitch

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1 week ago

Oct 17, 2021

Monique Maley

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As a communication coach, one of the top questions entrepreneurs ask me is how to deliver a winning pitch to potential investors. They want to know if there’s a magic formula to get an investor to say yes and buy into their dream and their business. (more…)

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The 4 Pillars of Wealth and Abundance

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1 week ago

Oct 16, 2021

Dalia Escobar

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Have you ever wondered what the formula for a wealthy and abundant life is? Many people have. Lots has been written about the subject of wealth creation and living an abundant life. It was a breaking point in my journey and pursuit of success when I found out that there is a clear path to achieve success in life. Thanks to those who have shared their journey, we can clearly see and follow the principles of prosperity. (more…)

Success Advice

Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Have a Podcast, Youtube Channel or Online Show

Published

2 weeks ago

Oct 14, 2021

Timothy Craggette

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Confidence comes from a place of strong understanding of self. After close to three years on radio, I’ve grown from a shy introvert to a shy introvert with an extrovert persona. When the mic is turned on, I can channel a version of myself that some say is attractive, strong, and of course, confident but it wasn’t always this way.

What I want to share with you is what I discovered on this journey into broadcast that you can apply to your life, your ventures, and your personal development. This doesn’t require any fancy gear. It does require a leap of faith on your part because once you go down the road of media; it can change your life.

1. Perceived Expertise

When you go to a doctor, you expect their knowledge will guide them to a solution to your problems. When you have a show, you become your listeners’ doctor. For all the multiple thousands, maybe millions, of YouTube channels, podcasts, and user-created content in the world, each person that gets behind a mic takes a position on their passion, their opinions, and their themes.

They challenge the status quo for the benefit of their listeners in hopes to entertain and educate. With consistency on your side, those fans place you on a platform and give you permission to influence them.

2. Global Acknowledgement

One of the benefits to increasing confidence is when you receive thank you notes from people you may never meet. The feeling of enriching someone’s life from halfway around the globe, provides validation you’re enhancing someone else’s life with your wisdom and your wit.

The very first time I was told I was making a difference in someone’s life in a country other than my own, I felt like I caused massive impact that transcends my circle of influence. When you experience just how much you can cause impact and it comes back to you, it’ll change your worldview.

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Backed By Numbers

One of the most exciting ways to measure success is to quantify your growth. It’s not enough to just broadcast. Having subscribers and downloads helps to know, numerically, how well you’re doing. Word of caution. This can be a way to set yourself up for distress because of number envy but if you understand what the numbers mean; you can control the narrative of the numbers.

The major number that makes most people smile is 10,000. I’d advise it to be 1. Here’s why. As you grow in your industry, so does your reach. If you learned that the one person that subscribed totally changed for the better because of you, wouldn’t that be worth the effort?

4. Effective Communication

While it’s not talked about much, having a show is documentation. You create a dynamic account of your life, your industry, and the pulse on what’s important simply by having a show. When you find a channel to improve your communication skills, you demand attention and people will listen to you. You become more trusted as a leader and people will follow you once they believe you can lead them to their wants and needs.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins

These insights have helped many people become leaders and, ultimately, move others to their best selves. It’s worked for me and I hope it works for you. At the end of the day, it’s all about showing up and showing out.