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How A 45 Year Old Co-worker Inspired Me To Date Again

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Wow, it sucks to go through another breakup, especially as it’s been less than a year since the last one! I thought I would never date again until a 45-year-old co-worker said this to me:

“If at 45 I can go on Tinder being massively overweight, and not the best to look at, and have lots of guys wanting to date me, then so can you.”

This co-worker had been single for over a decade. She smoked heavily and swore never to date again. That was until her slightly quirky family decided to create a dating profile for her on Tinder.

She met many men on Tinder. There was:

– Tony Soprano with his gambling addiction
– There was chef with his quirkiness
– There was “Tradie” with his 30-year-old model body and six pack
– There was “bikie” who attempted a forced kiss in the middle of a dark car park

All of this got me thinking: “If a 45-year-old who claims that they are not much to look at can have success in dating, then why can’t a young buck like me sort this stuff out?”

Seeing my co-worker’s success inspired me. I vowed to set myself a goal to get this area of my life sorted out. The only problem is I become like an assassin when there’s a goal I want to achieve.

I became obsessed with this whole dating game.

I had no idea what a dating app was.

I had never sent texts to girls that I had never met in person before.

I was terrified of the potential rejection.

What did I do? I just did it anyway and you can do the same.

The myth is that dating isn’t challenging for all of us. It is. We are all afraid to date after a major breakup because we fear that we might someday die lonely.

 

For the next 5 months, I became obsessed with this dating goal.

I figured if I were going to reach this goal of finding someone through online dating, I would have to put in the work to shorten the time it takes. Many of my friends have been single for more than 5 years and I decided that was not going to happen to me.

I signed up for dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, eHarmony and Happn.
I went on coffee dates before work.
I went on coffee dates during lunchtime.
I went on coffee dates after work.

 

And then I made sure I was in the zone.

No matter the day or time I was doing something to push my dating game further.

I bought new clothes.
I bought new shoes.
I bought new aftershave.

Not to impress the girls, but to make sure I was feeling good before each date. I wanted to put in the maximum effort I could so that if I failed, I knew that I had given it everything I could.

 

The start was full of fear.

The first date was horrible. It was a friend of a friend that had been crowdsourced via Facebook for me. I wasn’t ready and she was not really my type. She was into pole dancing and collecting these crystals that apparently heal you or something like that. It was sooooo not me.

I rolled up to the date one hour early to ensure I didn’t miss getting car parking. I waited around until 8 pm for her. She messaged at 8 pm and said she was leaving home now and would be late. I thought to myself, “Clearly this whole dating thing is going to be hard, especially given I am obsessed with productivity and don’t like having my time wasted.”

“Instead of being pissed off, I committed not to tell myself negative stories. I became committed to not getting upset easily like most people do in life”

She finally arrived and I felt quite sick for some bizarre reason. I ordered the drinks and then she paid without me getting a chance to stop her because she felt bad for being late. This was already a mini failure as letting the girl pay on the first date is usually seen as a very bad idea.

At the end of the date, I stupidly asked for a second date and she said yes. I never ended up getting the second date and thank god for that. It did hurt my ego a little.

 

I then went on more than 50 dates with 50 different women.

This might seem like freaking madness but I believe that to be successful at any goal you need to get really good at your chosen task. On the first date, I sucked big time at dating. After a few dates though, I became really good at it. I figured out quickly what I wanted which I had never done before.

The fear started to dissipate and before long I was completely comfortable. I’d check the apps throughout the day to get fresh leads, meet them, narrow down the list, and then attempt to close them by asking for a second date.

My process was a lot like managing a sales pipeline through a piece of software like Salesforce. It was methodical, intentional, unwavering and organized chaos.

 

You can date anyone if you believe you can. You can do anything.

The reason I had failed relationships in the past was that I never thought carefully about what I wanted. I somehow thought I wasn’t good enough. Because of this belief, I limited the parameters of my dating apps only to include girls who were no more than two years younger.

I secretly wanted a younger girlfriend but never thought they would go for me. I thought I was too old and that they wouldn’t be able to relate to me. I didn’t swipe right on the good-looking profile pictures because I thought they would never go for an average looking guy like me.

Somewhere along the way when I wasn’t succeeding at my goal, I revaluated what I was doing. I realized I was selling myself short.

I started swiping on stunners.
I opened the age range right up.

To my own disbelief, I was stunned.

Amazing looking models wanted to go on dates with me. Girls that were near geniuses wanted to go on dates with me. Girls who were a lot younger than me were throwing themselves at me. It turns out that I was limiting my chances, not the real world.

The lesson here is to be careful what you filter out. You may be filtering out exactly what you want.

 

My friends thought I was mad.

They told me it could take 5 years. They told me I may never find someone and I needed to potentially accept this concept. I told myself this was BS. I knew that if I kept trying and didn’t let all of the fear and failure defeat me, I’d be triumphant. I visualized the day I would get my goal.

“Being obsessed with a goal looks like madness to the average Joe; the truth is that it’s how you get stuff done and get what you want in life”

 

Watching Netflix and saying The universe will make it happen doesn’t work.

There’s a lot of this “Law Of Attraction,” praise a statue mumbo jumbo that’s floating around nowadays. People say that it will happen when it’s meant to happen. This mindset will destroy your goal and any chance of being successful at dating.

“Your goal will happen when you put in the work and make it happen”

The dating gods are not going to ride in on a rainbow unicorn and give you some drop-dead gorgeous person who’s got a perfectly tanned body, and an amazing ass, with an incredible personality.

Get to work and stop allowing wet dreams to ruin your life.

Sitting on the couch numbing your brain with Netflix doesn’t work either.

 

Don’t let desperation overcome you.

One of the girls I met decided to go for someone else. I was shortlisted and lost. She then messaged me to tell me that after a couple of days, her new man forced her head down to the bed and wouldn’t let her leave the room.

She asked me what she should do. Naturally, I told her to leave this horrible man as violence is never acceptable. This girl came across as desperate with every interaction I had with her. She also showed me that she would make other bad decisions and then blame the world.

All of this was due to desperation. Don’t let your need of finding someone allow you to make dumb decisions. You’ll regret it later.

 

Never be anyone’s Plan B.

This same girl then came back to me later after she dumped this violent man and tried to go on another date with me. I’ve learned over the years that it’s never a good idea to be someone’s Plan B. If you weren’t good enough from the start, then you never will be. I told this girl no and moved on.

 

What I didn’t do!

Use the apps as a way to randomly sleep with as many girls as possible. In the short term this will stroke your ego; in the long term, you’ll feel like garbage. Dating is not designed to boost your ego and is far better when you concentrate on your long-term happiness.

I also didn’t attempt to date multiple girls at the same time. This doesn’t work and you’ll get found out. Lying destroys all of your hopes and dreams except you never find out that it’s the true cause. Lying gets disguised in other people’s opinions about why you failed.

You will fail if you lie or become a whore.

 

The problem with online dating.

You start to believe there’s always someone better. You never settle for any prospect that comes your way. The slightest thing that annoys you about the other person can make you think you should keep looking through more profiles.

One girl told me that everything about me was good but she couldn’t deal with the fact I’m vegetarian. Being this trivial is stupid.

Every person you want to date has flaws including you.
You’ll learn to love their flaws in the long-term.
Having a shopping list of wants is great way to be disappointed and remain single.

 

How to avoid all the pitfalls of online dating and failing at any goal.

Be relentless.
Keep trying.
Believe in yourself.
Don’t settle for second best.
Don’t look for perfect – it doesn’t exist.
Be a really nice person and treat others nicely.
Don’t try and sleep with them too quickly – you’ll trick yourself into falling for them afterward.

 

So here’s what happened….

I got what I wanted. I found an intelligent, beautiful, elegant little gem. She’s funny, interesting, clever, successful and has good values.

It took some time and lot’s of dates but I got there. People look at me still like I got lucky although I don’t believe in luck. I gave it everything I could and it was an emotional rollercoaster. I showed the best of me and tried to be the best human being I could.

I practiced being kind, compassionate and humble. With forced intent and continued practice, I got my goal. You can do the same.

Before I go, I want to point out that I don’t tell this very personal story I’d rather not share to make myself look good, so don’t bother leaving comments to this effect. I tell you this very personal story to inspire you to greatness and learn from my foolish mistakes.

Don’t let this negative dating world beat you down. Fight back!

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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Motivation

Embrace The Suck.

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Embrace the Suck

I suck at spreadsheets.
I suck at maths because numbers do my head in.
I suck at attending meetings because I just want action.

You will suck at your first blog post.
You will suck at your first startup, and the one after that, and so on.
You will suck at giving your first speech.

We all suck 24/7.

None of us are 100% motivated all the time.
None of us get anything right the first time – unless it’s a fluke.

We all have nightmares of our failures.
We all secretly want to be perfect – even me.

 

It’s time to embrace the suck.

A lot about life F*cking sucks hard.

My #EmbraceTheSuck story (thanks Sina Fak for the idea) was failing at high school and dropping out. After a break, I went back and finished high school, and the only subjects I excelled at were music and English.

Even though the headmaster told me I’d always be a no good, punk a$$, drop out, I proved him wrong.

I used my expertise in English to become a blogger and that’s why I’m writing these words to you right now.

I failed in the short-term, but by persevering at school, it eventually led me to right now. I could have done nothing and become a bum. I could have listened to my headmaster and agreed with him.

I knew that I was destined to do something big and I believe the movement I’m creating right now is part of my crazy goal to change the world.

All of us can succeed when we embrace the suck and persevere.

“We can listen to our critics or we can lift the middle finger at them and keep going”

Making it through the suck made me smarter, more courageous and it helped me build a newfound resilience.

 

How do we embrace the suck?

1. Be prepared to fail.
2. Look like an idiot.
3. Be willing to start at the bottom
4. Persevere
5. Challenge the critics

When everything sucks, get back up.
Have a second go even if there’s no reason too.
Back yourself and believe you can push through the suck.

 

Embrace the suck is a call to action.

It’s about being prepared to eat sh*t because the upside makes it worth it. It’s about doing what so many are not prepared to do because you believe in yourself.

It’s about taking action and executing instead of being a daydreamer and being stuck in a foreplay of ideas, dreams, goals that never happen.

Starting at the bottom and sucking harder is how you get to the top.

Once you arrive at the top, make sure you help other people who are embracing the suck.

Let’s all commit to doing more things that suck and being okay with it. Let’s challenge each other to be courageous.

If I can go from being a high school dropout to making something of myself, then why the heck can’t you?

Embrace the suck because that’s what the people you idolize and anyone you’ve ever looked up to did.

Embracing the suck is part of life.

“Hello, adversity. Come at me!”

 

One day you’ll look back on all the sucky moments and be proud.

That’s the cherry on top of the cake right there.

That is all the motivation you need to embrace the suck.

 

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Keep Going – Never Give Up. Good People Are Always Rewarded.

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Last week there was some real lows. This week there have been some major highs.

At one point, it looked like my career was down the toilet. Everything I worked for looked like it was done.

The reality is that when you hit a low point, there’s always an upside. The point where you want to give up is just the beginning of something new and amazing. When you hit that low, it’s so easy to want to give up.

You feel like you can’t go on and the odds are stacked against you.

Everything and everyone feel like they are working against your vision for your life. Most of all, you don’t know why you’ve suddenly hit this giant low point that feels like it’s going to last forever.

Your motivation is non-existent; you get out of bed and feel like crap; you’re not sure what today will mean – or the next for that matter.

All of this is fine. No, I’m not giving you some empty promise or meaningless reason to go on. What I’m telling you is that you must keep going. Even though you feel like you can’t, you must!

“All of these low points mean something. All of these low points turn into one giant moment of triumph if you keep stacking them up like shot glasses after a big night”

 

Good people are rewarded.

As long as you do your absolute best to be a good person, eventually your life will change.

All those small things you did for people will be remembered.
Someone will give you a chance and believe in you.
An opportunity will come from nowhere that you never expected.

Rewards always come for those who have earned it. How do you earn those rewards? By being a kind, humble and good person that serves the greater good. Let’s dumb it down further. You get the rewards by:

1. Helping people who have nothing
2. Smiling at as many people as you can
3. Answering messages on social media and helping people without getting anything in return
4. Staying positive through books and blogs like this
5. Waiting out the winter cold for summer to come into your life again

This list of five things is how you remain a good person through the chaos that we all experience. Many people say “That sounds easy Tim, but it’s harder than you think.”

That’s why I’ve made it practical with these five points.

 

How my luck changed this week.

I followed this formula I’ve laid out, and this week my luck changed. All of a sudden, I got multiple opportunities to do work that I love and get paid well for it so that I can focus on my blogging.

The messages I got with these opportunities all started with something like this:

“Thank you for sharing your story and having the guts to do so. You’ve inspired me and I appreciate it. I’d love to chat to you about opportunity X. Are you free for a few minutes?”

Then I got two more emails from television networks wanting me to spread some inspiration on their respective shows.

Your luck will change and opportunities will be presented to you if you keep going, never give up and continue being a good person.

It’s a long road towards getting up close and personal with your most important goal but if you stay the path, stay focused and be the person that makes you proud, it will happen.

 

Keep going.

So, if you’ve ever felt like I felt when my career went down the toilet last week, or you’re feeling that way right now, you must keep going.

I believe you can get what you seek if you remain focused and don’t let the negative emotions in your head take over. I know it’s tough but that’s no excuse. If you want your goals bad enough, then you’ll keep motivated to push through the rejection and failure.

Use selflessness to change your perspective. Look at yourself in the third person. See who you are now and who you can be. All of us can be leaders and when we look at ourselves without our self-talk and ego’s in the way, we can see who we really are.

Dare to dream a little. Don’t be afraid to think big. If you have crazy, audacious goals, then that’s even better.

Don’t be talked out of your mission.
Let your passion rip through the barriers that stand in your way.

Never give up. Keep going.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

We All Have It Tough – It’s What You Do With The Struggle.

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Lots of my people who read my stuff email me with their struggles. They’re hoping that I will be blown away by how hard they’ve had it. They think it’s some sort of competition to see who has the most battle scars.

By reading so many of these emails of struggle over the last few years, I realized something: we all have it tough. All of us struggle – even me.

– Right now, I have 14 days left until I’ll be out of a job.
– I’ve got some very challenging personal issues to deal with.
– My investments need a major rework and I’m completely lost.

I’ve been offered an opportunity to do public speaking to a large audience and am scared of whether I should say yes. Do I have what it takes? Will I mess it up?

We all have it tough.

What I’ve learned is it’s what you do with the struggle that will define your future.

 

Are you going to sit there and take it?

That’s right I’m asking you right now. What are you going to do with the struggles?

There are only two options:

1. Toughen up and use the struggles as motivation
2. Be a piss weak, sook, and give up.

Your struggles can take you to a new level. When George Lucas tried to make Star Wars, it was a total F*ck up. Everything went wrong. There were natural disasters, lack of money and even the actors thought it was the worse film ever to be made.

Did the creator of the Jedi Knight give up?

Not a chance. He kept going and defied the odds. His reward? One of the most watched movies of all time and plenty of cash to go with it.

You may still be thinking option two is your only hope. Maybe you could be piss weak and just give up. Then you could sit on the couch, watch Netflix, drink wine and pretend that your struggles didn’t stop you from achieving your goals.

 

The good news is giving up works short-term. The bad news?

After the short-term gain of giving up, and getting to Netflix and chill, you’ll be really pissed off at yourself. You’ll have regret and feel even worse than before you began your journey of struggle. Not getting your goals and making next to no progress feels like crap.I spent several years doing this.

“Every night I would get home, watch a Hollywood movie, go to 7-Eleven for some sugar and send useless texts to the toxic people in my life”

These same people were going nowhere and telling me to give up.

Screw that. I did this for a while and felt so empty. Life had no meaning and I was making no impact. The sugar diet made me sick and I ended up becoming bedridden.

 

The struggle is the beginning.

Looking back, without the struggle, I would have never got off my lazy ass and actually taken action. When I say “It’s what you do with the struggle,” what I mean is this:

Having it tough and struggling – like trying to walk up a hill while there’s a mudslide happening at the exact same time – is a big fat signal that you’re onto something.

The motivation and momentum you need to get started is right there in front of your blue eyes.

“You can’t get started on some mammoth task to change your life unless you get pissed off and do it tough”

If you were doing it easy, there’d be no urgent reason to take action.

When you’re like me and you are about to be unemployed, have lots of tough decisions to make and are unsatisfied with your career progression to date, you have to embrace your circumstances.

Now, this sounds like a lot of big words that you’d read in some 2000-page self-help book that repeats the same ideas over and over.

I’m going to dumb it right down:

The struggle is a sign to get started. When you struggle, things can’t really get much worse. What you’re left with is nothing but upside.

 

What action do we take then when we’re struggling?

Let’s use my situation as an example. Here are the action steps I’m using and implementing this week:

1. Accept where you are right now
– This will give you a reality check.

2. Meditate to relax your busy brain
– Stress will force you to make dumb decisions.

3. Get really uncomfortable
– I said yes to a new business venture that involves a lot of public speaking.

4. Resist the temptation to be pissed off
– Getting angry is only going to make things worse. Reserve your energy.

5. Write three things a day you’re grateful for
– This will force you to find the positive.

6. Delete whingers, sooks, liars and complainers from your contact list
– You’ve got enough issues; it’s hard enough to be positive without having toxic people talk nonsense and distract you.

 

Final step: Chill out amigo.

Your world is not going to end tomorrow. You can always start again. You can always fall down and get straight back up. Don’t be so angry with yourself. We all struggle and you’re doing the best that you can. Focus your energy on building your confidence and supporting your growth mindset.

“My future looks like a nuclear apocalypse right now but I’ve learned through the struggles that I always come out the other side on top”

Being impatient and stressing will only bring on more problems for you. It’s not that bad. Things always turn around. This moment of struggle and how you handle it will define who you become.

All of us have unlimited potential and we’re all struggling every day.

Once you learn to accept the struggle, embrace it and see it as a seed to something better, you’ll be well on your way to becoming someone you’re proud of.

Wish me luck with the struggles coming in the next few weeks. We’re in this together don’t forget.

Peace, love, respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

6 Lessons You Can Learn from The King of the Jungle

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lions

Do you watch documentaries on lions? If yes, then you must have seen that they dominate their territory and are apex predators. Lions are among the strongest animals in the world, and no one dares to confront or challenge them. They are called ‘kings’ because they have a touch of royalty in everything they do. From eating habits where 20-25 royal members dine at the same to conquering huge lands. A lion always has a bold attitude and lives like a true ruler.

But their life is full of obstacles and problems. There is less space for errors, as one mistake may make them lose their life, reign, or offspring. Also, hunting is not an easy task; their success rate is only 17-19 percent. Compared to human beings their quandaries are bigger because they never get a second opportunity.

But, have you ever seen a depressed lion or one who wants to give up? They always struggle to hunt and rule lands, but they never quit. Sometimes they fail in hunting a zebra, a gazelle, and a wildebeest. But do they give up? No. They try hard and succeed in hunting.

So, what motivates them to not surrender to the harsh life? The answer is survival. The only thing that keeps them moving is survival. Many lions lose their reign, children, and queens to other lions, but they never give up on life.

Here are six life lessons from the king of the jungle:

1. Your goal is the only way to survive

Set a life goal and work hard to achieve it; consider that there are no alternatives. As lions are born to hunt and rule; acknowledge that you are born to accomplish your life goal. Consider your purpose and work as a source of motivation. They will keep you going through good and bad times because fame is temporary, but work pleasure and sense of achievement are permanent.

“Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” – Richard Branson

2. Fail and evolve

Lions fail eight out of ten times in hunting, but this makes them fine-tune their skills; thus, they can catch bigger prey to feed their family. Likewise, we should also embrace our failures and evolve each time we face them. We must study and analyze our failures and make sure to not repeat them. As Jack Ma has rightly said, “If the guy only checks himself, yeah, something wrong with me here, something wrong with me there. Then, this guy has hope.” Also, we must follow this law of nature: ‘Evolve and survive’ to achieve success in life.

3. Focus is the key

When lions go on a hunt, they make less noise and focus on the prey. They always have an element of surprise and keep everything low to make their raid successful. Now imagine, if a lion makes noise, will they be able to hunt? The answer is no! So, what do we learn? Too much talking makes us lose focus. Don’t tell everyone about your goals and what you are doing, keep it low and completely focus on your aim.

4. Always trust each other

A pride of lions always back each other in good and bad times. Rather in tough phases as an individual they contribute more to the survival of the pride. We should also learn that strength is in the pack. It’s necessary to not break each other’s trust for a short-term gain. Also, we must support each other in overcoming tough problems and situations.

“Attack your goals like your life depends on it”

5. Survival is everything

Lions don’t harm anyone without any reason. But, when someone tries to mar their territory, life, and family, they leave no stone unturned in giving a tough fight. Likewise, we should concentrate on our own betterment. However, if someone is trying to ruin our career or life, then instead of getting disappointed we should fight back and overcome such smotherers.

6. Have fun in life

Lions go through a harsh life filled with everyday challenges. But they don’t let them ruin their daily moments. They always enjoy every minute with their pride members. They play with each other and take care of everyone. You should also make sure to relish each moment of your life. Leave your stress and worries in your workplace, and when you are at home, relish the time with your family.

Lions teach us to dominate problems in life and live like a true winner. As someone has rightly said, “If size really mattered, the elephant would be king of the jungle.” Similarly, every animal’s life is full of struggle, and we can learn a lot from them to become successful and prosperous in our own lives. So next time you watch a documentary on lions, try to learn from them.

How will you become a lion in your everyday life? Comment below!

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Motivation

Embrace The Suck.

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Embrace the Suck

I suck at spreadsheets.
I suck at maths because numbers do my head in.
I suck at attending meetings because I just want action.

You will suck at your first blog post.
You will suck at your first startup, and the one after that, and so on.
You will suck at giving your first speech.

We all suck 24/7.

None of us are 100% motivated all the time.
None of us get anything right the first time – unless it’s a fluke.

We all have nightmares of our failures.
We all secretly want to be perfect – even me.

 

It’s time to embrace the suck.

A lot about life F*cking sucks hard.

My #EmbraceTheSuck story (thanks Sina Fak for the idea) was failing at high school and dropping out. After a break, I went back and finished high school, and the only subjects I excelled at were music and English.

Even though the headmaster told me I’d always be a no good, punk a$$, drop out, I proved him wrong.

I used my expertise in English to become a blogger and that’s why I’m writing these words to you right now.

I failed in the short-term, but by persevering at school, it eventually led me to right now. I could have done nothing and become a bum. I could have listened to my headmaster and agreed with him.

I knew that I was destined to do something big and I believe the movement I’m creating right now is part of my crazy goal to change the world.

All of us can succeed when we embrace the suck and persevere.

“We can listen to our critics or we can lift the middle finger at them and keep going”

Making it through the suck made me smarter, more courageous and it helped me build a newfound resilience.

 

How do we embrace the suck?

1. Be prepared to fail.
2. Look like an idiot.
3. Be willing to start at the bottom
4. Persevere
5. Challenge the critics

When everything sucks, get back up.
Have a second go even if there’s no reason too.
Back yourself and believe you can push through the suck.

 

Embrace the suck is a call to action.

It’s about being prepared to eat sh*t because the upside makes it worth it. It’s about doing what so many are not prepared to do because you believe in yourself.

It’s about taking action and executing instead of being a daydreamer and being stuck in a foreplay of ideas, dreams, goals that never happen.

Starting at the bottom and sucking harder is how you get to the top.

Once you arrive at the top, make sure you help other people who are embracing the suck.

Let’s all commit to doing more things that suck and being okay with it. Let’s challenge each other to be courageous.

If I can go from being a high school dropout to making something of myself, then why the heck can’t you?

Embrace the suck because that’s what the people you idolize and anyone you’ve ever looked up to did.

Embracing the suck is part of life.

“Hello, adversity. Come at me!”

 

One day you’ll look back on all the sucky moments and be proud.

That’s the cherry on top of the cake right there.

That is all the motivation you need to embrace the suck.

 

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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Motivation

Embrace The Suck.

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Embrace the Suck

I suck at spreadsheets.
I suck at maths because numbers do my head in.
I suck at attending meetings because I just want action.

You will suck at your first blog post.
You will suck at your first startup, and the one after that, and so on.
You will suck at giving your first speech.

We all suck 24/7.

None of us are 100% motivated all the time.
None of us get anything right the first time – unless it’s a fluke.

We all have nightmares of our failures.
We all secretly want to be perfect – even me.

 

It’s time to embrace the suck.

A lot about life F*cking sucks hard.

My #EmbraceTheSuck story (thanks Sina Fak for the idea) was failing at high school and dropping out. After a break, I went back and finished high school, and the only subjects I excelled at were music and English.

Even though the headmaster told me I’d always be a no good, punk a$$, drop out, I proved him wrong.

I used my expertise in English to become a blogger and that’s why I’m writing these words to you right now.

I failed in the short-term, but by persevering at school, it eventually led me to right now. I could have done nothing and become a bum. I could have listened to my headmaster and agreed with him.

I knew that I was destined to do something big and I believe the movement I’m creating right now is part of my crazy goal to change the world.

All of us can succeed when we embrace the suck and persevere.

“We can listen to our critics or we can lift the middle finger at them and keep going”

Making it through the suck made me smarter, more courageous and it helped me build a newfound resilience.

 

How do we embrace the suck?

1. Be prepared to fail.
2. Look like an idiot.
3. Be willing to start at the bottom
4. Persevere
5. Challenge the critics

When everything sucks, get back up.
Have a second go even if there’s no reason too.
Back yourself and believe you can push through the suck.

 

Embrace the suck is a call to action.

It’s about being prepared to eat sh*t because the upside makes it worth it. It’s about doing what so many are not prepared to do because you believe in yourself.

It’s about taking action and executing instead of being a daydreamer and being stuck in a foreplay of ideas, dreams, goals that never happen.

Starting at the bottom and sucking harder is how you get to the top.

Once you arrive at the top, make sure you help other people who are embracing the suck.

Let’s all commit to doing more things that suck and being okay with it. Let’s challenge each other to be courageous.

If I can go from being a high school dropout to making something of myself, then why the heck can’t you?

Embrace the suck because that’s what the people you idolize and anyone you’ve ever looked up to did.

Embracing the suck is part of life.

“Hello, adversity. Come at me!”

 

One day you’ll look back on all the sucky moments and be proud.

That’s the cherry on top of the cake right there.

That is all the motivation you need to embrace the suck.

 

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Keep Going – Never Give Up. Good People Are Always Rewarded.

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Last week there was some real lows. This week there have been some major highs.

At one point, it looked like my career was down the toilet. Everything I worked for looked like it was done.

The reality is that when you hit a low point, there’s always an upside. The point where you want to give up is just the beginning of something new and amazing. When you hit that low, it’s so easy to want to give up.

You feel like you can’t go on and the odds are stacked against you.

Everything and everyone feel like they are working against your vision for your life. Most of all, you don’t know why you’ve suddenly hit this giant low point that feels like it’s going to last forever.

Your motivation is non-existent; you get out of bed and feel like crap; you’re not sure what today will mean – or the next for that matter.

All of this is fine. No, I’m not giving you some empty promise or meaningless reason to go on. What I’m telling you is that you must keep going. Even though you feel like you can’t, you must!

“All of these low points mean something. All of these low points turn into one giant moment of triumph if you keep stacking them up like shot glasses after a big night”

 

Good people are rewarded.

As long as you do your absolute best to be a good person, eventually your life will change.

All those small things you did for people will be remembered.
Someone will give you a chance and believe in you.
An opportunity will come from nowhere that you never expected.

Rewards always come for those who have earned it. How do you earn those rewards? By being a kind, humble and good person that serves the greater good. Let’s dumb it down further. You get the rewards by:

1. Helping people who have nothing
2. Smiling at as many people as you can
3. Answering messages on social media and helping people without getting anything in return
4. Staying positive through books and blogs like this
5. Waiting out the winter cold for summer to come into your life again

This list of five things is how you remain a good person through the chaos that we all experience. Many people say “That sounds easy Tim, but it’s harder than you think.”

That’s why I’ve made it practical with these five points.

 

How my luck changed this week.

I followed this formula I’ve laid out, and this week my luck changed. All of a sudden, I got multiple opportunities to do work that I love and get paid well for it so that I can focus on my blogging.

The messages I got with these opportunities all started with something like this:

“Thank you for sharing your story and having the guts to do so. You’ve inspired me and I appreciate it. I’d love to chat to you about opportunity X. Are you free for a few minutes?”

Then I got two more emails from television networks wanting me to spread some inspiration on their respective shows.

Your luck will change and opportunities will be presented to you if you keep going, never give up and continue being a good person.

It’s a long road towards getting up close and personal with your most important goal but if you stay the path, stay focused and be the person that makes you proud, it will happen.

 

Keep going.

So, if you’ve ever felt like I felt when my career went down the toilet last week, or you’re feeling that way right now, you must keep going.

I believe you can get what you seek if you remain focused and don’t let the negative emotions in your head take over. I know it’s tough but that’s no excuse. If you want your goals bad enough, then you’ll keep motivated to push through the rejection and failure.

Use selflessness to change your perspective. Look at yourself in the third person. See who you are now and who you can be. All of us can be leaders and when we look at ourselves without our self-talk and ego’s in the way, we can see who we really are.

Dare to dream a little. Don’t be afraid to think big. If you have crazy, audacious goals, then that’s even better.

Don’t be talked out of your mission.
Let your passion rip through the barriers that stand in your way.

Never give up. Keep going.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

We All Have It Tough – It’s What You Do With The Struggle.

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Lots of my people who read my stuff email me with their struggles. They’re hoping that I will be blown away by how hard they’ve had it. They think it’s some sort of competition to see who has the most battle scars.

By reading so many of these emails of struggle over the last few years, I realized something: we all have it tough. All of us struggle – even me.

– Right now, I have 14 days left until I’ll be out of a job.
– I’ve got some very challenging personal issues to deal with.
– My investments need a major rework and I’m completely lost.

I’ve been offered an opportunity to do public speaking to a large audience and am scared of whether I should say yes. Do I have what it takes? Will I mess it up?

We all have it tough.

What I’ve learned is it’s what you do with the struggle that will define your future.

 

Are you going to sit there and take it?

That’s right I’m asking you right now. What are you going to do with the struggles?

There are only two options:

1. Toughen up and use the struggles as motivation
2. Be a piss weak, sook, and give up.

Your struggles can take you to a new level. When George Lucas tried to make Star Wars, it was a total F*ck up. Everything went wrong. There were natural disasters, lack of money and even the actors thought it was the worse film ever to be made.

Did the creator of the Jedi Knight give up?

Not a chance. He kept going and defied the odds. His reward? One of the most watched movies of all time and plenty of cash to go with it.

You may still be thinking option two is your only hope. Maybe you could be piss weak and just give up. Then you could sit on the couch, watch Netflix, drink wine and pretend that your struggles didn’t stop you from achieving your goals.

 

The good news is giving up works short-term. The bad news?

After the short-term gain of giving up, and getting to Netflix and chill, you’ll be really pissed off at yourself. You’ll have regret and feel even worse than before you began your journey of struggle. Not getting your goals and making next to no progress feels like crap.I spent several years doing this.

“Every night I would get home, watch a Hollywood movie, go to 7-Eleven for some sugar and send useless texts to the toxic people in my life”

These same people were going nowhere and telling me to give up.

Screw that. I did this for a while and felt so empty. Life had no meaning and I was making no impact. The sugar diet made me sick and I ended up becoming bedridden.

 

The struggle is the beginning.

Looking back, without the struggle, I would have never got off my lazy ass and actually taken action. When I say “It’s what you do with the struggle,” what I mean is this:

Having it tough and struggling – like trying to walk up a hill while there’s a mudslide happening at the exact same time – is a big fat signal that you’re onto something.

The motivation and momentum you need to get started is right there in front of your blue eyes.

“You can’t get started on some mammoth task to change your life unless you get pissed off and do it tough”

If you were doing it easy, there’d be no urgent reason to take action.

When you’re like me and you are about to be unemployed, have lots of tough decisions to make and are unsatisfied with your career progression to date, you have to embrace your circumstances.

Now, this sounds like a lot of big words that you’d read in some 2000-page self-help book that repeats the same ideas over and over.

I’m going to dumb it right down:

The struggle is a sign to get started. When you struggle, things can’t really get much worse. What you’re left with is nothing but upside.

 

What action do we take then when we’re struggling?

Let’s use my situation as an example. Here are the action steps I’m using and implementing this week:

1. Accept where you are right now
– This will give you a reality check.

2. Meditate to relax your busy brain
– Stress will force you to make dumb decisions.

3. Get really uncomfortable
– I said yes to a new business venture that involves a lot of public speaking.

4. Resist the temptation to be pissed off
– Getting angry is only going to make things worse. Reserve your energy.

5. Write three things a day you’re grateful for
– This will force you to find the positive.

6. Delete whingers, sooks, liars and complainers from your contact list
– You’ve got enough issues; it’s hard enough to be positive without having toxic people talk nonsense and distract you.

 

Final step: Chill out amigo.

Your world is not going to end tomorrow. You can always start again. You can always fall down and get straight back up. Don’t be so angry with yourself. We all struggle and you’re doing the best that you can. Focus your energy on building your confidence and supporting your growth mindset.

“My future looks like a nuclear apocalypse right now but I’ve learned through the struggles that I always come out the other side on top”

Being impatient and stressing will only bring on more problems for you. It’s not that bad. Things always turn around. This moment of struggle and how you handle it will define who you become.

All of us have unlimited potential and we’re all struggling every day.

Once you learn to accept the struggle, embrace it and see it as a seed to something better, you’ll be well on your way to becoming someone you’re proud of.

Wish me luck with the struggles coming in the next few weeks. We’re in this together don’t forget.

Peace, love, respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

6 Lessons You Can Learn from The King of the Jungle

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lions

Do you watch documentaries on lions? If yes, then you must have seen that they dominate their territory and are apex predators. Lions are among the strongest animals in the world, and no one dares to confront or challenge them. They are called ‘kings’ because they have a touch of royalty in everything they do. From eating habits where 20-25 royal members dine at the same to conquering huge lands. A lion always has a bold attitude and lives like a true ruler.

But their life is full of obstacles and problems. There is less space for errors, as one mistake may make them lose their life, reign, or offspring. Also, hunting is not an easy task; their success rate is only 17-19 percent. Compared to human beings their quandaries are bigger because they never get a second opportunity.

But, have you ever seen a depressed lion or one who wants to give up? They always struggle to hunt and rule lands, but they never quit. Sometimes they fail in hunting a zebra, a gazelle, and a wildebeest. But do they give up? No. They try hard and succeed in hunting.

So, what motivates them to not surrender to the harsh life? The answer is survival. The only thing that keeps them moving is survival. Many lions lose their reign, children, and queens to other lions, but they never give up on life.

Here are six life lessons from the king of the jungle:

1. Your goal is the only way to survive

Set a life goal and work hard to achieve it; consider that there are no alternatives. As lions are born to hunt and rule; acknowledge that you are born to accomplish your life goal. Consider your purpose and work as a source of motivation. They will keep you going through good and bad times because fame is temporary, but work pleasure and sense of achievement are permanent.

“Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” – Richard Branson

2. Fail and evolve

Lions fail eight out of ten times in hunting, but this makes them fine-tune their skills; thus, they can catch bigger prey to feed their family. Likewise, we should also embrace our failures and evolve each time we face them. We must study and analyze our failures and make sure to not repeat them. As Jack Ma has rightly said, “If the guy only checks himself, yeah, something wrong with me here, something wrong with me there. Then, this guy has hope.” Also, we must follow this law of nature: ‘Evolve and survive’ to achieve success in life.

3. Focus is the key

When lions go on a hunt, they make less noise and focus on the prey. They always have an element of surprise and keep everything low to make their raid successful. Now imagine, if a lion makes noise, will they be able to hunt? The answer is no! So, what do we learn? Too much talking makes us lose focus. Don’t tell everyone about your goals and what you are doing, keep it low and completely focus on your aim.

4. Always trust each other

A pride of lions always back each other in good and bad times. Rather in tough phases as an individual they contribute more to the survival of the pride. We should also learn that strength is in the pack. It’s necessary to not break each other’s trust for a short-term gain. Also, we must support each other in overcoming tough problems and situations.

“Attack your goals like your life depends on it”

5. Survival is everything

Lions don’t harm anyone without any reason. But, when someone tries to mar their territory, life, and family, they leave no stone unturned in giving a tough fight. Likewise, we should concentrate on our own betterment. However, if someone is trying to ruin our career or life, then instead of getting disappointed we should fight back and overcome such smotherers.

6. Have fun in life

Lions go through a harsh life filled with everyday challenges. But they don’t let them ruin their daily moments. They always enjoy every minute with their pride members. They play with each other and take care of everyone. You should also make sure to relish each moment of your life. Leave your stress and worries in your workplace, and when you are at home, relish the time with your family.

Lions teach us to dominate problems in life and live like a true winner. As someone has rightly said, “If size really mattered, the elephant would be king of the jungle.” Similarly, every animal’s life is full of struggle, and we can learn a lot from them to become successful and prosperous in our own lives. So next time you watch a documentary on lions, try to learn from them.

How will you become a lion in your everyday life? Comment below!

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