Connect with us

Success Advice

Dear People Who Always Fall Short Of Success

Published

on

Hi, it’s Tim again. Long time no speak. So I heard that you fell short again and missed out on your goal. Sucks doesn’t it? Now that you’ve had a chance to chill to the rhythm of my words, dry your eyes and wipe your ass, it’s time to analyze why.

The difference between success and not getting your goal is less than 1%. So let’s deep dive in on all the elements you need to hit that goal and slam-dunk your way to success.

I want to illustrate my point today with an example I saw yesterday. I was watching this reality talent show online. This girl blew my mind. She was from the Philippians and has almost nothing. Our BS first world problems are nothing compared to what she faces every day.

Yet she was still one of the most incredible human beings I’ve encountered. She was positive and happier than most of us living the so-called “good life.”

Here’s why she didn’t fall short of her goal:

There was no second chance.

She’d convinced herself that coming back and trying again was not an option. The urgency written all over her face was nearly enough to make me poo my pants. By the end of her performance, you couldn’t help but have a tear or two in your eye.

During one of the rounds, she didn’t make it through, and she refused to get off the stage. Even without a microphone, she kept singing. She cried her eyes out and freaking begged her way into the next round. That’s what losing your sense of entitlement does.

If you’re falling short of your goal, then you have to make it a life or death situation.

Become the people’s champion.

There was this aura about her that made you feel really good and it was difficult to know why at first. She spoke with such grace and humility. All you could see was that she wanted to be a good human being. There was no cheating anyone out of anything.

These traits made her the people’s champion. Even when the judges were against her, the people’s screams drowned out their doubt. People loved her because they wanted to be just like her. We all fall in love with someone who can show us what’s possible for the human race.

“We all have flaws, addictions and things that suck about ourselves. When we see someone that has the same, has worked on them, and will never give up, we unofficially crown them the people’s champion in our head”

Be a phenomenal example of a human being no matter what and you’ll become the people’s champion too.

Your life better damn well depend on it.

Ever been pitched by someone who’s not hungry? It’s more boring than watching two old guys run on level one of the treadmill at the local gym. The thing is that if this goal means so much to you, your life does depend on it. You need to convince yourself of this very idea.

This girl I saw online acted as if her family wouldn’t eat tonight if she didn’t get to sing her song.

“It was like her family was being held captive by a terrorist and she was screaming on national television for help”

When your life depends on something, people get around you. We all have this compassionate side that comes out of us when we see someone who’s decided that nothing will stand in their way. Without your life depending on your goal you get lazy, procrastinate, and then withdraw on food or booze.

Maybe if your life doesn’t depend on your goal, you need to reevaluate your goal. The reason you keep losing may be due to the very fact that your life doesn’t depend on this one pursuit. These words I write are crucial to me staying alive.

If I couldn’t type these words, I don’t know if I’d keep doing this whole “life” thing. I’ve put everything on the line to write these words. No one is going to stop me and I’m never going to stop. Inspiration comes through me, it comes through the girl I saw online and it can come through you as well.

Your life does depend on your goal. You better convince yourself of that and stop lying.

Do it for someone other than you.

Being motivated by someone other than you keeps your lazy ass accountable. We’re programmed by this modern world to be lazy, so we need another person or group to be accountable to. The easiest person to achieve your goal for is your family.

We all have one whether they’re biological or not and they can get you into action through the way you think. Think about your goal and then think about your family. If you get your goal, your family gets to come along for the ride with you.

The way you feed that beautiful family is through finding a way to create value. Life has taught me that the best way to create value is using a goal as the foundation. In simple terms, doing stuff you like is ten times easier than doing stuff you hate to death.

Creating value is your only option because that’s what allows you to pay the bills. So given we have no option but to create value and feed our families, let’s start getting intimate and raunchy with this idea and using it to drive us forward, rather than sitting on the couch watching TV.

Don’t ever take no for an answer. No means maybe.

I get told no multiple times a day. I’ve trained my brain to take the word no and change it into maybe. Our default answer is always going to be no, so it’s normal human behavior. Your job with your whole goal quest is to turn no’s into yes’s.

Showing that you’re not going to take no for an answer is how you get a maybe, and then eventually, a yes. Don’t be so easily defeated. Getting a no is hard on our fragile little brains and it’s part of the whole process of life.

As I said before, this girl I saw online didn’t give two hoots about the no she received. I don’t even think she heard the word no at all. It’s like she was deaf to any word that was not yes. We have to drown out the negativity of our mind and focus on what we want.

You can either become a slave to the word no or become no’s master. You’ll always fall short if you let two letters stop you in your tracks. You’re bigger, badder and more beautiful than that. No means maybe, buddy oh pal!

Give it more than 100%.

All this I’m tough as nails talk means jack if you don’t produce something that is out of this world. This little pocket rocket I saw online didn’t just have all the resilience passion and determination that we’ve spoken about: the end outcome she delivered (her performance) was better than anyone else.

You actually have to be good.

That brings me to my next point. The best mindset on the planet is not enough if you haven’t actually put the hard work in to create some talent in a particular field. If you just plain suck at your one pursuit then none of what I’ve said is going to work.

You can think you’re the best singer since Whitney Houston but if you’re tone deaf and can’t sing in tune, it’s never going to happen. Thankfully we’re not born with talent and we can learn anything that interests our distracted little brains.

Be a good human.

Maybe a tad too vague. A real human means that you are humble, compassionate and genuinely want to be positive and do the right thing. Being anything other than human will cause other humans to ignore you, thus giving you the result of falling short yet again.

Again, all these traits can be cultivated and then you can harvest them when you need them. The online pocket rocket I witnessed yesterday had all of these traits and more. She was the definition of a good human being. She wanted everyone to be successful.

The show wasn’t all about her. She brought others on the journey with her.

Start being more human
Don’t make the show all about you.
Show us the real you.

Display your battle scars.

Finally, this girl I saw online showed us all of her battle scars. She showed us her family, the poverty she endured, her nationality and her flaws. She cried in front of everyone like a two-year-old child. Nothing was left on the table. There was no mask and nowhere to hide.

She knew why she was there and we all got to see her battle scars from years of trying. There’s something about those battle scars that are so damn sexy. Authenticity online and in real life brings us in. Things that are real feel more appealing.

If you’re falling short, I suspect that you are now revealing all of yourself. Step out from the darkness and into the light.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Aussie Blogger with 500M+ views — Writer for CNBC & Business Insider. Inspiring the world through Personal Development and Entrepreneurship You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.com

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Success Advice

Signs You’re Ready for a More Purposeful Career

Published

on

Image Credit: Addicted2success

Doing well at something is not the same as wanting it. Plenty of people are steady at their jobs and still feel hollow at the end of the day. Nothing looks wrong from the outside. Colleagues respect you, the pay lands on time, and you handle whatever gets thrown your way. What builds underneath is harder to name.

A dullness sets in, or a restlessness, or the sense that you’re watching your own work from across the room. It doesn’t mean everything needs to be torn down. Often it just means you’ve stopped growing, and once that happens, what counts as worthwhile work quietly changes shape. 

When work shifts

There is usually no announcement. One day the tasks that once demanded your full attention take almost nothing out of you. Some people notice their focus sliding away from the work and toward the people around it. Wanting to mentor, listen, and help someone untangle a problem tells you something real about where your attention wants to go.

This lands hard in teaching. Class sizes and schedules leave little room for one student who needs an hour, and administrative work swallows the time you’d rather give them. Many educators respond by shifting from a teacher to a counselor, a role built around emotional and social support instead of lesson plans. The work runs deeper with each student and puts their wellbeing at the center of the day.

Changes like this rarely announce themselves loudly. They start as a small nudge you can brush off. Ignoring it gets harder as the months go by.

What purpose feels like

Most of the time it arrives quietly. A small exchange leaves you feeling like you were actually needed. You break down something complicated and watch it land. You steady someone who was spiraling. You point a person toward a way forward when they couldn’t see one. The tiredness afterward sits differently from the kind that flattens you.

Notice when you feel most switched on. Some people run best on targets, numbers, and systems that click into place. Others come alive guiding, backing someone up, keeping them going. Neither ranks above the other. They simply pull from different places.

Work that feels worthwhile usually reflects what you already care about. Value connection, trust, and steady growth, and a people-centered job will sit better than one measured purely in output. Perfection isn’t the goal. Honesty is.

Clues in your strengths

Patterns show up long before certainty does. Consider what people bring to you without being asked. Do friends start unloading before they’ve taken their coat off? Do colleagues mention how calmly you explain things? Are you the steady one while everyone else scatters like startled pigeons?

Pay attention to that. Support and guidance roles tend to grow out of qualities like these:

  • Patience when someone needs time
  • Empathy without absorbing everything
  • Clear communication
  • Real listening
  • Steadiness under pressure
  • Encouragement that doesn’t take over

Calling these soft undersells them. They carry weight because they help actual people get through difficult stretches. Technical knowledge can be added later. A steady, caring way with people is harder to teach, and having it already puts you closer to a new path than you might assume.

Why helping can grow

Roles built around helping tend to keep demanding more of you as a person. There’s no clocking in and ticking off a list. You get better at hearing what someone isn’t saying, at answering with more care, at reading people accurately. Growth like that outlasts any promotion.

Your motivation changes shape too. Pay and status stop being the whole scoreboard, and impact starts to matter. Did that person feel understood today? Did something hard get lighter because you were there? Questions like those keep the work from going flat.

None of which makes it effortless. The emotional load is real. Boundaries hold everything together, and so does proper rest. Choose a helping career with clear eyes, because meaning doesn’t cover lunch, sleep, or a life outside the job.

Testing the next step

Nothing has to be decided by next Tuesday. Small, low-stakes experiments beat dramatic leaps almost every time. Walk around in the shoes before entering the marathon.

Try a few of these:

  • Talk to someone doing the job now
  • Ask about ordinary days, not the highlights
  • Volunteer somewhere support is the point
  • Shadow a professional if you can arrange it
  • Sign up for one course
  • Note down what leaves you energized

Each one separates the imagined version from the real one. Occasionally a role loses its shine once you hear what the hours involve. Just as often, seeing it up close confirms what you suspected.

Stay curious rather than urgent. No contract is being signed. You’re collecting evidence, and evidence beats panic when a career decision is on the table.

Making change less scary

Fear arrives even when the change is a good one. Money, timing, family obligations, the thought of being a beginner again. None of that is irrational. Your brain is doing its job, protecting you, just with more theatrics than the situation calls for.

Size is usually the problem. “Should I change my whole life” is an unanswerable question, and holding it in your head produces nothing but dread. Narrow it until it becomes something you can act on this month. Build savings first. Find out what training actually requires. Set a six-month window and see what you learn inside it.

The fear rarely disappears entirely, and it doesn’t need to. It shrinks once the decision stops being one enormous leap and becomes a series of ordinary moves you can reverse if they don’t work.

Choosing a better fit

Borrowed definitions of success cause most of the trouble. Looking impressive while feeling depleted is a trade that stops paying off quickly. Your own version asks harder questions. Does this line up with what you care about? Does it draw on what you’re actually good at? Could you do it without performing a version of yourself all day?

Alignment matters more than ambition here. The goal is work that fits, that spends your energy well, that lets you be useful without straining for it.

That pull toward something more meaningful deserves attention rather than dismissal. Look into it. Give it time. The full map isn’t required. One honest step forward is usually enough to start.

Continue Reading

Success Advice

How to Prepare for a First Video Conversation Online

Published

on

Image Credit: Addicted2success

A first planned video conversation feels easier when the technical setup and basic expectations are handled in advance. A few practical checks reduce distractions and leave more attention for clear, respectful communication.

Prepare Before the Conversation

Before joining a scheduled conversation through a service such as Aveola, review the meeting details, your account profile, and the subjects you intend to discuss. Early preparation prevents last-minute searches for links, passwords, headphones, or background information.

Confirm the Time and Access

Check the date, time zone, expected duration, and correct access link. Add the appointment to a calendar with a reminder, then open the platform early enough to complete any sign-in or permission requests.

Confirm that your email address or phone number is verified when the service requires account verification. Use a unique password and activate two-factor authentication when that option is available.

Plan a Few Topics

Prepare two or three simple subjects that fit the reason for the conversation. For a professional call, these subjects might include responsibilities, project goals, or next steps. For a social discussion, hobbies, travel, books, music, or daily routines provide comfortable starting points. Avoid writing a full script. Short notes keep the exchange natural while giving you a reference if the discussion pauses.

Check Your Connection

A stable internet connection supports clearer sound and smoother video. Close large downloads, cloud backups, streaming services, and unused browser tabs before joining.

The table identifies common connection issues and practical responses:

Issue

Visible effect

Preparation step

Weak Wi-Fi signal

Frozen picture

Move closer to the router

Busy home network

Delayed sound

Pause other high-bandwidth activity

Outdated browser

Missing features

Install the current version

Low device power

Sudden disconnection

Charge the device beforehand

Set Up a Comfortable Space

The physical environment affects how clearly both people see and hear each other. Camera placement, light, sound, privacy controls, and personal limits deserve separate attention before the conversation begins.

Position the Camera

Place the camera close to eye level so your face remains centered without requiring you to look sharply upward or downward. A laptop stand, stable box, or adjustable monitor provides a better angle than holding a phone throughout the session.

Leave a small amount of space above your head and keep the lens clean. Look toward the camera while speaking, then return your attention to the screen while listening.

Improve the Lighting

Face a window or place a lamp in front of you, slightly above eye level. Strong light behind your chair creates a silhouette, while overhead lighting alone produces deep shadows around the eyes.

Review the preview screen before joining. Adjust the lamp, curtain, or seat position until facial details appear clear without excessive brightness.

Test the Sound

Use the platform preview or device settings to test the microphone and speakers. Speak at a normal volume and listen for echo, background noise, or distortion. Headphones reduce feedback when speakers sit close to the microphone. A quiet room with curtains, rugs, or soft furniture also limits reflected sound.

Protect Your Privacy

Review what the camera reveals before the conversation begins. Remove documents, photographs, screens, packages, or personal items that display sensitive information.

Five additional checks help protect your account and surroundings:

  • Disable location details that are unnecessary for the session.
  • Review camera and microphone permissions in the browser.
  • Use a background blur when the room contains private material.
  • Keep account recovery codes outside shared devices.
  • Sign out after using a borrowed computer or tablet.

Privacy settings also control profile visibility, notifications, and contact options. Read each setting carefully instead of relying on its default value.

Set Personal Boundaries

Decide in advance which subjects and personal details remain outside the discussion. A planned conversation does not require sharing an address, workplace schedule, financial information, private documents, or account credentials.

Set a clear time limit when your schedule requires one. A simple statement at the beginning, such as having 30 minutes available, gives both participants a shared expectation.

Keep the Conversation Comfortable

Preparation continues during the exchange through attentive communication and a calm response to technical interruptions. A small problem with sound or video does not need to disrupt the entire session.

Communicate Respectfully

Speak clearly, allow the other person to finish, and ask direct questions when something is unclear. Muting the microphone during unavoidable background noise keeps the conversation easier to follow. Consent remains relevant throughout live communication. Respect a request to change the topic, pause, disable a feature, or end the session.

Finish With Clear Next Steps

Before leaving, confirm any agreed action, future date, document, or contact method. This step prevents confusion after professional, educational, or project-related discussions.

End the session through the platform controls, close unnecessary tabs, and verify that the camera and microphone are no longer active. A brief review of what worked gives you a stronger routine for the next conversation.

Continue Reading

Success Advice

The Success Trap of Waiting Until Something Feels Wrong

Avatar photo

Published

on

Image Credit: Addicted2success

After enough years in medicine, you start to notice a pattern that has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with psychology. The most driven, capable people in the room are often the last ones to deal with a problem.

Not because they are careless. Usually it’s the opposite. They have built successful lives by pushing through discomfort, solving problems, and staying in motion when other people stop.

I still think about one patient from time to time, although the truth is I’ve seen versions of her story more times than I could count. She was building a company, or maybe it was her career, I don’t remember anymore, and she’d been ignoring a symptom for months. She knew it wasn’t normal. She’d caught it early, but there was always a reason to put it off. A launch, a deadline, an important meeting she couldn’t miss. In her mind, stopping even for a day felt like falling behind.

By the time she finally came in, the problem had grown into something much harder to treat than it needed to be. I never thought of her as careless, and I don’t think denial is the right word either. She was doing what had always worked for her: keep pushing, don’t get distracted by small problems, and deal with them later.

That habit that serves you so well at work doesn’t always serve you everywhere else. When it comes to your health, it can become part of the problem.

Why Ignoring Small Problems Feels Like Discipline

People who accomplish a lot usually learn early on that not every ache, inconvenience, or setback deserves their attention. If they stopped every time something felt a little off, they’d never get anything done. After a while, pushing through just becomes second nature, and that habit doesn’t stay at work. It follows them everywhere else.

The problem is that this instinct doesn’t know the difference between grit and denial. Grit is choosing to endure something hard that you understand and have decided is worth enduring. Denial is ignoring a signal you never actually evaluated. They can feel identical in the moment, which is exactly why so many capable people confuse them.

This happens constantly, and not just when it comes to personal health. A founder notices the same customer complaints showing up every month, but keeps writing them off because fixing them would mean admitting there’s a problem with the product. An executive is surviving on four hours of sleep because it’s “just a busy season,” even though that season has lasted the better part of a year. Someone else has been living with the same symptom for months because making an appointment feels like one more thing they don’t have time for.

None of them are being careless. They’re using the same mindset that helps them succeed at work in a situation where it just doesn’t fit.

The Hidden Cost of Living Reactively

The real cost of reactive living isn’t the eventual crisis. It’s everything that happens before the crisis, which is usually invisible even to the person paying for it.

Living reactively means a portion of your attention is always spent managing something you haven’t dealt with yet. That’s a tax you pay daily, in the form of decisions made from a place of low-grade dread instead of clarity, in the form of energy that should be going toward your best work instead going toward keeping a problem contained. You don’t usually notice this tax because it doesn’t announce itself. It just quietly reduces how much of you is available for the things that matter.

This pattern plays out with health the same way it does in business. Very few of the serious conditions I’ve treated appeared overnight. Most started small, were easy to dismiss, and stayed that way for longer than people expected. Your body usually gives you plenty of chances to notice something is wrong before it forces you to pay attention.

Prevention Is the Highest Leverage Work You’ll Ever Do

Meanwhile, we celebrate the comeback, the turnaround, the crisis survived. Nobody publishes a book about the disaster that never happened because someone handled it early.

But prevention is the harder, more advanced skill. Crisis response gets you sympathy and a story. Prevention requires you to act on something before it’s demanding your attention, with no audience and no applause, purely because you understand what will happen if you don’t. That takes a kind of self-management that most people never develop, because it isn’t rewarded the way heroics are.

The best leaders and founders don’t actually handle crises better than everyone else, they just have fewer of them because they treat maintenance as a strategy rather than as something to get to eventually. They ask what a version of themselves with more information would already know, and then they go find that information instead of waiting for it to force its way in.

What This Looks Like in Practice

If any of this sounds familiar, you don’t need to turn your life upside down. Start small. Every few months, take a little time to think about the things you’ve been putting up with instead of dealing with. It could be your health, something at work, your finances, or even a relationship that’s been quietly wearing you down.

The most useful question to ask yourself is a simple one: Am I choosing to put up with this, or am I just avoiding it? Those two things can feel surprisingly similar when you’re in the middle of them, but they aren’t the same. One is intentional. The other usually catches up with you sooner or later.

A Different Definition of Strength

We tend to define strength as the ability to endure. I’d argue the more useful definition is the ability to notice early and act before you have to endure anything at all.

The people I’ve seen build businesses, careers, and even healthy lives over the long term usually aren’t the ones who can take the biggest hit. More often than not, they’re the ones who dealt with small problems before those problems had a chance to grow. It isn’t the most exciting approach or the one that tells the grandest story, but it’s the reason they stay healthy and keep moving forward.

Next time you brush off a small warning sign, ask yourself why you’re ignoring your body’s signals. Most of the time, you’ll likely find that it has less to do with your schedule and more to do with clinging to the identity of being someone who never needs to slow down.

Continue Reading

Success Advice

How Teams Create Their Own Legacy Systems and How to Leave Them Behind

Published

on

Image Credit: Addicted2success

Legacy systems are not only old software left by someone else. Many teams create their own legacy after a fast launch. The product still works, but every change takes longer. People work hard, and delivery still slows down.This article explains how that happens, how to spot it, and how to plan a rewrite without stopping the business.

What a Legacy System Looks Like in Practice

A legacy system is software that costs more to change than it should. Age is not the main test. The real test is whether the team can still deliver at a normal pace.

Common signs are practical. The tech stack is hard for the current team to work with. Unused parts of the product stay in place because nobody is sure what will break. Tests exist, but they do not catch real problems. Only a few people understand how the system works. Small features take several sprints, and the team spends more time fighting the system than improving the product.

When effort goes up and output goes down, the system has become legacy for your team.

How a Fast Start Turns Into Legacy

Many teams do not inherit legacy. They create it while trying to move fast.

A common path looks like this. You need users quickly, so you build on an existing solution instead of starting from scratch. In the first months, that works. You ship. You get feedback. The decision looks smart.

Later, the same decision slows you down. The base system was not built for your roadmap, your team’s skills, or your quality needs. What helped you launch now blocks simple changes.Teams often stay with that base too long because the early result was real. Rewriting feels like throwing away progress. So they keep the old foundation even after it stops helping.

Why Teams Keep Patching

Most teams do not decide to live with legacy. They decide to make one more fix.

A patch looks cheaper and safer than a rewrite. It also avoids a hard discussion about stopping work on the current system. For a while, that can be the right call.

After a point, patches add more complexity than they remove. Each fix creates new constraints. The team spends its best time keeping the old system stable instead of building useful product work.

One clear signal is when a basic feature can no longer reach production in a normal cycle. There may be no major outage. There is just steady delay. At that point, the choice is usually simple: keep paying the cost of the current system, or test a rewrite under clear rules. If delivery has already stalled, some teams also need help to stabilize a software project before the next big decision.

Treat a Rewrite as an Experiment

A full rewrite can fail if it has no limits. Some rewrites never reach users and waste months. That risk is real. Staying in legacy forever has a cost too.

A better approach is to treat the rewrite as an experiment. Set a clear scope for the first version. Review progress every week with demos people can see. Track how much work actually gets finished, not only how busy the team looks. Keep the old system running until the new one is ready. Do not freeze the business while the team rebuilds in private.

This makes the decision easier to manage. Stakeholders can judge real progress. If pace and quality improve, continue. If not, stop before the rewrite becomes its own long project with no end date.

Describe the Product You Want Before You Rebuild

Many rewrite projects fail because the team copies the old system as it is.

Legacy code shows how the product works today. It does not always show why a feature exists, or which parts are leftovers from old decisions. If you rebuild only from the old code, you may also rebuild old bugs and unused paths.

A clearer method is to describe the product you want first. Who uses it. What should happen. What you will leave out. Write that down so business and engineering share the same scope. Then decide how to build it.

This matters even more when teams can generate code quickly. Fast output without a clear product description can create a new legacy system sooner. Speed helps only when the goal is clear and shared.

Keep the Old System Running Until the New One Is Ready

Leaving a legacy system does not mean turning it off on day one. Customers still need a working product.Keep the old system live while the new one is built and checked. Release small pieces that prove the new system works. Review quality and pace often. Switch when the new product can support real use, not when the plan looks good on paper.

The goal is a clean handoff, not a dramatic shutdown.

Conclusion

Legacy is not only software you inherit. It is often software your own fast start created.If the team is busy and delivery keeps slowing down, do not assume another patch will solve it. Look at the cost of staying. If a rewrite makes sense, run it as a short, visible experiment. Describe the product you want. Keep the old system online until the new one can take over.

The useful skill is noticing when the system that once helped you launch now blocks progress, and changing course before that cost gets worse.

Continue Reading

Trending