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8 Reasons You Should Be Happy When You Fail

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8 Reasons You Should Be Happy When You Fail

Have you failed at something lately?  If you have, great job.  There isn’t anyone on this planet who can truthfully say they haven’t failed at something at some point in their life.

Failing is a natural part of the growing, maturing and development process of the human race.  We fail because we are growing, we are exploring and we want solutions to life’s problems. We were meant to be curious, and curiosity will eventually lead us to success, but failure is a part of it all.

Unfortunately, we were taught that our failures were a sign weakness, bad luck and bad attempts at trying to improve our lives. The very same mistakes that are a sign of our ongoing attempt at living have been used to discourage and undermine our efforts to become better people.

Whenever we fail, we are tempted to fall apart, get down on ourselves and feel like our lives are over.  We question our intelligence and reason for doing what we did in the first place.

“Failure is an event, not a person.” – Zig Ziglar

Since we all make mistakes, you must remember that the mistake is never the issue it’s the way you choose to deal with your emotions when you do.  You will feel bad when you fail, and that is normal but giving up on your dreams is never the right thing to do.

Below are 8 steps that will help to free you from the fear of making mistakes or assist you in forgiving yourself:

 

1. If you are not making mistakes, you aren’t trying

To improve and succeed at any task, you must be willing to take the risk and taking risk means you might fail.  It is only natural for you to feel bad when you do, but you must remember, that is a sign you are making an attempt to find solutions to life’s problems.  Do not dwell on those mistakes but use them as a learning tool.  Learn the lessons and move on.  If you learn the lessons from your mistakes, you won’t make them again, and you will become stronger, wiser and more experienced.

 

2. Everybody makes mistakes

As human beings, we are bound to mess up, and that does not exclude anyone.  There are no road maps for dealing with life.  We live our lives by trial and error, so we will make mistakes. Even if someone else has done the job before, to take it to another level you run the risk of making a mistake.  Do not be deterred by that, but view it as an indication you are on to something and something special. Look at what you have done and work harder, but do not give up. You will eventually succeed if you do not quit.

Winston Churchill
 

3. Your failures are signs you are improving

When you find that you are making mistakes doing the right thing, do not become disheartened, it could mean you are on the right track.  Be encouraged and motivated knowing that your mistakes are helping you to become better at what you are doing.  You will also become stronger and more knowledgeable.  Work hard to make sure your mistakes are better every time.

 

4. Your failure means you are very courageous

It takes courage to make an attempt at something you have no idea will work or not.  You are investing your time, energy and money into something you have no idea what the results will be.  Even though you might have failed, the fact that you gave it everything you’ve got says a lot about who you are as a person.  Being courageous doesn’t mean you won’t be afraid, it only means even though you are scared to death you are courageous enough to make an attempt.

 

5. Your failures make you much stronger

After you have failed a few times, you would have become so much more resilient.  When you have failed it is normal to be discouraged, frustrated and even angry but if you choose to get over your disappointment and anger, you will realize how much stronger you are.  You will also be more determined to succeed and to prove to yourself and others that you can indeed succeed.

“Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.” – Robert T. Kiyosaki

6. Your failures help you to grow

When you have failed and have gotten over your disappointment, you are much more likely to dig deeper within you for strength you didn’t even know you had.  You will realize what you are truly made of and how resilient you are.  To become stronger and to grow you have to be stretched, and failure will help you to find within you the strength to continue.  Failure helps you move away from what is comfortable.

Many of us understand that sometimes things happen for a reason, and even though when we have failed the reasons aren’t necessarily clear at the time we know it does.  People who are open, will understand that their failure offers several other opportunities for them.  The saying when one door closes many more open is so true.  You must be willing to see the opportunities and go after them.  Failure is just one door closing with many more opening because of it.  Failure is never the end of your dream but the beginning of something bigger and better.

 

7. Your failures provide an opportunity for you to learn new things

Look at some of the most important people in history and see how they view failure. Thomas Edison said he didn’t fail he only found thousands of ways to solve the problem.  He was saying he was learning several other ways to solve the same problem.  This is the mentality you should develop.  Failure is not the end but an opportunity to learn something new and to try another method to solve the problem.

 

8. Your failure provides you with other solutions you never saw coming

If you never try you will never know if your ideas will work or not.  If you do not try, you will never know that you would have failed either, but it is better to have failed than to have regrets that you didn’t at least try.  Sometimes you are attempting to achieve something but the result is something totally different but even greater. Sometimes your failures turn out to be your best success story.

You will fail and continue to fail as long as you are prepared to attempt something foreign to you but do not give up.  Use your failures as stepping stone to your goals as the normal course of life and they should never be seen as a misfortune.

Use your failures as opportunities for further growth.

 

When you have hit a bad patch dig deeper, and you will eventually succeed if you do not give up.

Rose Costas is a big believer in the power of facing your challenges head on and then boldly wear your scars to show others that they too can be triumphant.  She is an accountant by profession with a new found passion for blogging and a future author and best seller. You can received her amazing free Ebook  “34 Ways to Build Your Confidence Today”.

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21 Comments

21 Comments

  1. Kim

    Oct 12, 2015 at 1:46 am

    Very nicely written and VERY timely indeed! I am having rough time convincing myself to stay on my PhD program. You helped to put things into the right perspective! Thank you!

    • Rose Costas

      Nov 1, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      Kim congratulation on reaching that level never keep your eyes of the reason you wanted to pursue a PHD in the first place. It could be you are the first in your family. It could be that you were told as a child you would never amount to anything. What ever the reason make a note of it and keep it where you can see it daily to remind you of why you are on this journey.

  2. riezal

    Oct 11, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    thanks for the great post,
    up and down emotion.. its normal
    .
    the important part is, how we managed it 🙂
    .
    yeah sometimes its bring me tears…
    every male like me must admit it .. lol

    • Rose Costas

      Nov 1, 2015 at 8:59 pm

      You are absolutely right Riezal. Life is about ups and downs but how we choose to handle those set backs is what sets us apart.

  3. Victor

    Aug 20, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    Thank you very much, for this wonderful post.I truly learnt a lot from this… THANK YOU ROSE COSTAS

    • Rose Costas

      Aug 31, 2015 at 7:03 am

      Thank you very much for taking the time to read and respond. I am glad I was able to share with you something positive and helpful. Keep working hard Victor.

  4. Allison Felix

    Aug 20, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    Rosa I enjoyed reading your article, I look at failure in a different light now, and plan on instilling this concept in my nine year old son, to help him in his
    growth personally and in school. Thank you

    • Rose Costas

      Aug 31, 2015 at 7:06 am

      Thanks you for reading the article and I am very glad you are able to see failure from a different perspective. That was the intention. I am glad that you think it wise to instill this into your young son. now he won’t go through what you have been through and will see his life as a success at an earlier age. Wonderful Allison

  5. Eljean

    Aug 10, 2015 at 3:24 am

    What a great post. Every person who are chasing success should read this. Failure is a learning opportunity.

    • Rose Costas

      Aug 31, 2015 at 7:08 am

      Thank you Elijean for your kind words. Failure is indeed a learning opportunity and a sign you are doing things to get a head. Never give up because you will indeed see your rewards if you faint not.

  6. Camilla Hallstrom

    Jun 27, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    Great take on motivation after failure, Rose! It’s so easy to get stuck and think that no one else fails, ever. It’s a learning curve and eventually, you’ll make it.

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 30, 2015 at 4:17 pm

      Camilla you are so correct. Most people are either ashamed or too proud to tell others that before they succeeded in their endeavors they failed a few times. People who are truly honest will accept that they fell a few times before they eventually made it. Thanks for your comment.

  7. ettian

    Jun 26, 2015 at 4:48 am

    It is really motivating and I also believe failing is a transportation to your destination

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 26, 2015 at 7:39 pm

      Ettian you are absolutely right. Everything happens for a reason but unfortunately sometimes we are so caught up on what went wrong and not the opportunities waiting for us to explore.

  8. Gideon

    Jun 22, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    I love this post. It’s a great one. I just have to share this with my friends on social media. Thanks Rose

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 23, 2015 at 7:30 am

      Thank you very much Gedeon. I am glad you enjoyed reading it and I hope your friends do too.

  9. Rose Costas

    Jun 22, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    Thanks Lawrence for your comment. It is never easy to see failure as anything positive but in order to succeed and to truly appreciate our efforts we have to accept failure. Success is sweet but how would you know how sweet it is unless you have tasted the bitter taste of failing first.

  10. ken johnson

    Jun 19, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    I absolutely adore Rosa Costa and her messages, she is so in touch with her emotions and gives us the pleasure of her insight. I have read numerous messages by her and am constantly amazed by her maturity and her wisdom. She is truly a blessing to me and to most of us. THANK YOU ROSA

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 22, 2015 at 8:11 am

      Thanks Ken for that very kind message. My greatest desire is to use my experiences good and bad to assist others in their journey through life.

  11. Lawrence Berry

    Jun 19, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    I absolutely agree that when fail at something, you must sit back and analyze your failure because in that, you learn more about how to succeed the next time and you ultimately grow as an individual. This was a great post. Many people do look at failure as a bad thing, but when you look at failure as something that you need to do in order to succeed, you gain a certain type of resiliency to failure. They say to fail until you succeed!

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 23, 2015 at 7:31 am

      Thanks Lawrence for your comment. It is never easy to see failure as anything positive but in order to succeed and to truly appreciate our efforts we have to accept failure. Success is sweet but how would you know how sweet it is unless you have tasted the bitter taste of failing first.

      Reply

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Motivation

Want To Be The Greatest? Publish Positivity.

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Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be the greatest in whatever field I entered. Now I am in the top tier of bloggers on the Internet.

 

So your question surely is: “How can I do the same?”

For starters, forget who I am and what I have and haven’t done. It’s not about me; it’s about you. It all starts with you and I’m going to give you the secret.

 

The secret is: Publish positivity.

Whether that’s publishing an email and sending it off, publishing a video online, publishing a blog post, publishing a picture on Instagram.

The key is always to publish something that’s positive.

 

It’s helped me and it can help you.

Everything I have ever published on the Internet since I started this blogging journey is positive. It’s content that is designed to take your life to the next level.

I aim to send chills down your spine.
I aim to get you to think differently.
Most of all, I aim to get you to take positive action.

 

Before all of the positivity, it started with negativity.

The thing is it didn’t start this way. My journey started with a whole lot of negativity and yours is probably similar. That’s the best place to start anything from. With so much negativity, there’s only one place to go – UP!

I always thought that success was only for those born rich. My days were spent finding reasons why something couldn’t be done. I complained all day long about everything I wanted but couldn’t get. I was tired, lonely, frustrated and pissed off at the world. We’ve all been there.

Then someone inspired me by publishing positivity. Now I want to return that favor.

I want everyone to be able to become inspired and then make the same decision as me to publish positivity from now on. Enough is enough.

 

There’s already too much negativity.

I’m fed up with every traditional media outlet talking about nothing other than negativity. Consistent negativity only produces more negativity. There’s no point harping on about what’s wrong and how everything is so challenging to fix. Nothing worth doing is easy.

“If you’re trying to achieve a goal, then you have to publish positivity to stand out and influence all of us”

 

People want to be inspired.

The common theme with everything I have achieved is that I’ve figured out the one hack: People just want to be inspired. It’s really that simple. To be the greatest, you must inspire people.

We all love inspiration because it’s what we’re all lacking. Tell stories and inspire people. That’s how you become the best in the world at anything. We all have a story to tell that can inspire people. Reach inside, and pull out those stories for all of us to hear.

You’ve overcome some obstacle.
You’ve had a difficult time.
You’ve experienced death.
You’ve lost something.

The inspiration we can all learn from you is inside of you already. Use these tools to inspire us all because we all want it. We all need it.

 

You’ll become positive at the same time.

The best part about publishing positivity is that it makes you more positive at the same time. Each day, I’m searching for something positive to share with you all. This makes me so focused on being positive that I’ve forgotten about the negative world that many experience daily.

You get more of what you focus on.

“Publish positivity and you’ll steer clear of the negative nonsense that’s subconsciously holding you back from being the greatest”

 

Positivity compounds.

Yes, that’s right! As you publish positivity, the effect compounds. You start with being just a little bit positive and once you get a few years in, all the wisdom that people like Nelson Mandela had is at your disposal. Positivity builds the greatness that world champions like Nelson Mandela had.

If you want to do something extraordinary with your life (we all do deep down), then you must start with publishing positivity. Find something to talk about and do it with every ounce of passion in your body. Allow yourself to light up and become a beacon of positivity for anyone that can benefit from your advice.

 

Where does this all lead?

Publishing positivity can lead almost anywhere. I never had any clue when I began. I always thought I’d just do it for a bit and then see what happens. Little did I know that publishing positivity can get you access to people, places, opportunities, careers and feelings I never even knew.

Publishing positivity has made every single goal I’ve ever wanted come to life.
Publishing positivity has allowed me to remove my toxic friends and replace them with my heroes.

The possibilities for you when you publish positivity are the same. You’ll get to experience things that you never thought was possible,

It all starts with publishing positivity and being positive.

Don’t hold yourself back any longer. Get started and publish positivity.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Endorphins Are The Key To The Good Life.

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Endorphins And The Good Life. Basketball Motivation

When I was 25 years old, I became a gym junkie. I went four times a week and trained hard with a personal trainer. During that time of my life, I was chasing the physical appearance benefits of going to the gym and training.

I remember feeling really good after every workout. Whenever I felt stressed or upset, going to the gym helped me.

 

Then my life crashed: I stopped.

About two years in, everything in my life went horribly wrong. I ended up leaving a business and starting all over again. I sold everything I had and so I could no longer justify paying a personal trainer. I stopped going to the gym not long after too.

 

Here’s the harsh truth.

Since that day when I quit the gym all those years ago, I’ve never felt the same. The rush that you get from putting your body under pressure and sweating profusely can’t be matched. A few weeks ago, I began reading this book that included a chapter on physical training.

The benefits were highlighted to me again. You’ll increase your endorphin levels triggering a positive response in your body; you’ll increase cardiac volume; you’ll increase insulin sensitivity and that will put you in a better mental state. Oh, and it makes you smarter too.

Endorphins make you smarter by improving blood flow to the brain and boosting growth hormones that produce new nerve cells. They even help release brain chemicals like dopamine, glutamine and serotonin. Serotonin is the chemical that makes you happy.

So obviously going to the gym and having these endorphin things are good for you. Imagine what newfound energy this will bring to your passions in life.

 

What caused me to go back to the gym?

I’d been feeling low on energy despite my healthy diet and I was getting a few headaches. This was literally killing my dreams because I didn’t have the energy I needed to write inspirational content.

 

I came home from the gym and felt on fire!

After my first session back at the gym, I came home and felt on fire. I wrote five blog posts in a matter of hours – they were some of my best work. My mental state was changed and the low energy I was experiencing went away.

 

The food I ate began to change.

When you increase the endorphin levels in your body, I found, that I no longer wanted to eat junk food. I’ve seen the same change in my friends who have gone this route as well. Training at the gym makes you want to refuel and recharge with proper food.

All of a sudden a big greasy pizza just doesn’t feel appealing anymore. You start to crave fruit, vegetables, tofu, seafood and anything that will nourish you and help you train again the next day.

I know this sounds nuts and I promise you it’s true!

 

It’s not just the endorphins.

The endorphin rush is not the only benefit I got from the gym. There were added side benefits that I didn’t even think of.

It’s the discipline you get.
It’s the goals you set.
It’s the changes you see.
It’s the people you meet at the gym.

 

What starts to happen is that you become focused on being just that little bit better each day. Instead of staying the same and not growing in any way, your mindset changes.

“You look for ways to improve your life and the gym becomes the catalyst for it”

It’s only after some deep, meditative thought that I came to this conclusion. Lucky I read that book hey?

 

And wait, there’s more.

I started to smile more. With my mental state changing for the better, I no longer found myself disappointed or pissed off for not having the energy I craved, to live my life.

With all of this extra thinking space, I found myself smiling more. Looking after yourself feels good. If nothing else, it gives you something to be happy about.

 

Anger and stress decreased.

During the first week of gym training, I had a few negative situations I was dealing with at work.

They were really annoying me and I found myself being angry.

This anger led to stress that I hadn’t experienced for a while.

“The gym became an outlet for me to get out of my own head because I was forced to concentrate on the pain and focus needed to do the exercises I had committed to”

Combining the gym with a bit of meditation also helped too.

 

Don’t forget that three letter word (you thought I was going to say Tim but I mean sex baby!)

So far I’ve only spoken about the gym – don’t forget sex as well. Sex releases endorphins. If you want more endorphins, then have more sex!

Now you have two sources of endorphins to play with (pardon the pun).

 

***Final thought***

I know what you’re thinking – because I am Gandhi (joking) – “Tim I already knew all of this. Of course going to the gym is good for you.”

That’s the issue right there. We know lots of stuff and most of the time we still don’t take action on what is good for us. The best way to take action on tasks like going to the gym is to hear someone else’s story.

Stories will inspire you to take action, not knowledge.

Now you’ve heard my story, it’s time to take action. Drag your ass to the gym and start exercising. Don’t forget to sexercise as well (insert wink emoji here)!

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Starting The Morning By Making Your Bed Is Stupid – Do This Instead

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Making Your Bed

Ever heard that you should start your morning by completing one small task like making your bed?

This is stupid advice. Don’t follow it.

If you feel like you have achieved something by making your bed, then you’re way off.

Making your bed is a stupid little task that doesn’t make you feel good at all. If you find satisfaction in doing something so small, and you think that’s a good start, it’s not.

“You must do something meaningful to start the day if you want to change the world”

 

Start the morning with something big.

Yup, that’s what I said you little rascal. Do something that matters. For me, that’s writing blog posts like this one, instead of doing chicken little tasks that don’t serve anybody – like making your bed. I recommend starting the day with an epic achievement.

Sit down and write something you are proud of.
Go and train for that sport you love.
Prepare that presentation that is going to change your company.
Wake up and do public speaking first thing.

Now that last one is one I do every fortnight. I wake up at 4 am and go to Toastmasters at 7 am to start the day with a speech. It sets up my entire week and gives me energy. Try it for yourself.

 

Your mind is fresh in the morning – don’t waste it.

As the day moves on, your energy levels get lower (especially if you have a poor diet). This is why starting your day by wasting your valuable energy making your bed is total nonsense!

Don’t make your bed, use your energy for something that will make you fulfilled.
Start the day with something that will make you damn proud of yourself.

When I publish a freshly written article on Adccited2Success at 5 am, I feel on fire. I get to work ready to steamroll over anyone who wants to take me off my purpose. I feel like a lion ready to pounce on its prey and fight any enemy that presents itself.

 

Your bed can wait.

You know what? Your bed can wait. It doesn’t need to be made right this second. You can do hard labor when you get home and you’re tired from the day. Making your bed requires no thinking so don’t waste your mind on it.

“Low energy states are the best time to make your bed, iron your clothes and cook meals”

 

Achieving goals builds momentum.

The reason why I don’t want you to start your day achieving rubbish goals is that it gives you no momentum. Doing something difficult in the morning sets your day up to tackle even more challenging obstacles.

I’d rather you did the big stuff first and then worried about the small stuff like how your rainbow colored doona on your bed looks. Who you trying to impress with your bed anyway?

 

Some days will suck.

Okay, so I’ve made it sound like every day you are going to live like a commando or even GI Joe. Don’t worry I’m not that silly or crazy. There are days that you will suck. You’ll wake up and achieve nothing. You’ll do dumb stuff like make your bed instead of doing something a bit more difficult.

It’s okay. You can’t be Rambo every single day or hour. What I want you to think about here is to spend the majority of your week in a peak state that involves attempting meaningful goals in the morning. Miss a day here and there. Take the weekend off.

Relax, because you can’t always be on like a pit bull ready to attack.

“If you take yourself too seriously, then you’ll start to lose the plot. Your ego will become out of control and you’ll think you are unstoppable and do something dumb like taking a selfie on the side of a skyscraper where you could fall to your death. Don’t laugh; this is now a thing!”

Everything in moderation. You also need balance. Don’t mistake balance, though, for being lazy and doing half-assed stuff like making your bed.

 

Mornings have defined me.

I get dozens of emails asking how I find time to write and do all the crazy things I talk about.

My response is always the morning. Doing big stuff in the morning has allowed me to get a head start on life. I will not accept mediocrity and even when it hurts, I do my best to remember why I put myself through these challenges, day after day.

There’s something about progress that is addictive and it’s a big part of the success formula. The first thing you do shouldn’t be:

– Make coffee
– Drink lemon water
– Look at your phone
– Check your social media followers.

The first thing you should do is bite a chunk off one of your big audacious goals that forms part of your life’s purpose. Now feel free to substitute the word purpose for vision, goals, meaning of your life – I don’t care amigo.

 

Again, do the big stuff.

Let’s rinse and repeat, so you’re clear. Don’t wake up and do little, tiny, meaningless goals like making your bed and wasting the best hours of the day. Wake up and do something that will give you a sense of fulfillment.

Hope we’re clear now. Time to go do the big stuff. The really big stuff!

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Do You Really Want Your Goal?

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I was talking to someone I know about their dating experiences. Dating was something that she always had as a goal, but for a long time, she has been single.

She got frustrated when I shared what has worked for me and my experience. I wanted to understand why she hadn’t got to her goal. “I mean if you want something bad enough then what’s stopping you?” I thought to myself.

 

Dreaming is not enough.

She knew what she wanted and she fantasized about it but she had already made a decision not to take action. Thinking about how nice it would be to sit on the beach with the love of your life will not make you happy.

If you want a business do it.
If you want to find love, then do it.
If you want to travel then do it.
If you want to inspire people, then do it.

What’s the point of having a goal if it never becomes a reality? Making a decision is the first step to any goal and then taking action without knowing the result is the next step. Analytical thinking can often distract you from getting started. Having a crystal clear plan is almost never necessary. I wish I could tell you what the love of your life looks like. I can’t.

 

Exaggerating combined with excuses doesn’t work.

This girl I knew exaggerated every aspect of dating. She would say:

“There are no good guys left.”
“People are so harsh these days.”
“Guys are lazy.”
“Online dating doesn’t work.”

“Excuses are like cancer running through your body. It’s easy to find everything that is wrong with the goal you want to achieve”

Of course, stuff is hard….life is hard. What you’ll learn though is that when you do the hard stuff towards your goal, you get the results and feel awesome about it at the same time.

Tell the world why you are going to achieve your goal – don’t tell us why you won’t. What you tell us about your goal ends up becoming the result.

 

Drunk on comparing.

Next, she told me all about how her friends all got the man they wanted and how it was so easy for them. Nothing is easy for any of us. When we commit to putting in the work, we get closer to our goal. The universe doesn’t owe you jack so forget about serendipity, luck and anything that is not based on you getting off your ass and working.

Getting drunk on comparing only distracts you from your own challenge. Everyone’s life story is different and there are no absolutes. The life you think everyone else has that is so wonderful is all an illusion. You don’t see these people you idolize 24 hours a day.

If you did, what you’d see is all the parts of their life they hate. We are all carrying huge problems on our shoulders. My advice to you would be to not focus on these problems. Focus on what you can do to move forward and spend zero time thinking about everyone else who tells you how happy they are.

 

Lacking energy and motivation.

She tells me she is uninspired and lacking energy. My view is that if you avoid your goal and put it off, you’ll end up feeling this way. To say something is a goal and then say it’s okay if you never achieve it is going to guarantee you failure. That’s exactly what she did.

She told me that she is prepared to face the fact she will never find a man. The moment there is a Plan B, you start telling yourself it’s okay. It’s not okay. If you want this goal, then go after it and never give up. Yes, it will take many tough decision and risks to get to your “Happy Place, ” but it’s worth every bit of pain.

The lack of motivation you face is often tied to your goals.

“When you don’t make progress towards your goal, you start to lose sight of the meaning for your life”

It’s not the end of the world though because you can always change your ways and get back on track.

The energy you need to feel alive again is inside of you. All you need is to feel bad enough about your situation to decide change is a must. When achieving your goal is non-negotiable, and nothing else matters, things start to change in your favor.

 

Feeling lonely.

Of course you will feel lonely if you don’t work towards your goal. Being sad and depressed is not a state of mind that will attract people into your life. No one wants to be around this type of person for a long time.

If you don’t like being lonely, then do something about it! You’re lonely because you’re obsessed with yourself and your selfish desires. Move out of that place and into a place of abundance and caring, and your circumstances will change.

The girl in my story is lonely because she doesn’t have a man. She refuses to do something about it and so she get’s what she settles for. There are billions of people on this planet so it’s nearly impossible to be lonely if you decide you don’t want to be.

When you suffer negative feelings, you can decide to make a stand. You can always decide that enough is enough and you’re going to break the pattern of your own limiting thoughts. It’s your thoughts that are limiting you not the world around you.

 

Assumptions are a curse.

The last thing this girl did was assume until she’d left no space to make anything happen. Assumptions make you think you have all the answers and there’s no more research required. Assumptions tell you that you’re very smart when in fact you’re acting like an idiot.

Not trying something because you think you know the outcome is the ultimate failure. You can’t possibly know how every experiment will turn out beforehand so stop trying to. Don’t sit there and tell me that you’ve tried everything to achieve your goal because you damn well haven’t.

You’ve decided to be a sook and let this negative world win because you’re hoping some third party is going to save the day.

You’re hoping that someone else is going to do the work for you and solve all your problems. You’re hoping that someone will feel sorry for you.

Only you can save yourself. The rest of us are trying to save ourselves from our own problems and challenges. This leaves the entitled person out in the cold searching for answers that don’t exist.

There is hope for you.
There are answers within you if you look for them.
Try Self Improvement. Read a few books.

Stop falling in love with the curse that is “assumptions.”

 

***Final thought***

When I hear stories like the one I’ve just shared, I often wonder whether people really want their goals. I think that goals have become a form of convenience to romanticise about something that will probably never happen.

If you really want your goal then take action. Throw your assumptions and excuses in the bin.

Stop settling for second best. Make a decision today to go after that thing you want so badly. Give yourself time to get the results. Most of all, help others in the process.

That’s how you get your goal ladies and gentleman. Ask yourself again: “Do I really want this goal?”
If so, get to work.

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45 Unforgettable Kanye West Quotes

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Although his name may be surrounded in controversy at any given moment, Kanye West continues to be one of the most respected and highest earning rapper-turned-entrepreneurs of the 21st century. Coming from The South Side of Chicago; Kanye has had to hustle to achieve his level of success.

Despite his ego and public outbursts; Kayne has learned a lot from his journey to greatness. (more…)

Joe Kleckner has a passion for all things motivation & self-development.  From blogs such as Addicted2Success, to the videos of Eric Thomas and Elliott Hulse, to the lectures of legends such as Tony Robbins.  This passion has landed him an internship with Addicted2Success. Follow him on Twitter & Snapchat as he journeys towards greatness, one day at a time.

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21 Comments

21 Comments

  1. Kim

    Oct 12, 2015 at 1:46 am

    Very nicely written and VERY timely indeed! I am having rough time convincing myself to stay on my PhD program. You helped to put things into the right perspective! Thank you!

    • Rose Costas

      Nov 1, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      Kim congratulation on reaching that level never keep your eyes of the reason you wanted to pursue a PHD in the first place. It could be you are the first in your family. It could be that you were told as a child you would never amount to anything. What ever the reason make a note of it and keep it where you can see it daily to remind you of why you are on this journey.

  2. riezal

    Oct 11, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    thanks for the great post,
    up and down emotion.. its normal
    .
    the important part is, how we managed it 🙂
    .
    yeah sometimes its bring me tears…
    every male like me must admit it .. lol

    • Rose Costas

      Nov 1, 2015 at 8:59 pm

      You are absolutely right Riezal. Life is about ups and downs but how we choose to handle those set backs is what sets us apart.

  3. Victor

    Aug 20, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    Thank you very much, for this wonderful post.I truly learnt a lot from this… THANK YOU ROSE COSTAS

    • Rose Costas

      Aug 31, 2015 at 7:03 am

      Thank you very much for taking the time to read and respond. I am glad I was able to share with you something positive and helpful. Keep working hard Victor.

  4. Allison Felix

    Aug 20, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    Rosa I enjoyed reading your article, I look at failure in a different light now, and plan on instilling this concept in my nine year old son, to help him in his
    growth personally and in school. Thank you

    • Rose Costas

      Aug 31, 2015 at 7:06 am

      Thanks you for reading the article and I am very glad you are able to see failure from a different perspective. That was the intention. I am glad that you think it wise to instill this into your young son. now he won’t go through what you have been through and will see his life as a success at an earlier age. Wonderful Allison

  5. Eljean

    Aug 10, 2015 at 3:24 am

    What a great post. Every person who are chasing success should read this. Failure is a learning opportunity.

    • Rose Costas

      Aug 31, 2015 at 7:08 am

      Thank you Elijean for your kind words. Failure is indeed a learning opportunity and a sign you are doing things to get a head. Never give up because you will indeed see your rewards if you faint not.

  6. Camilla Hallstrom

    Jun 27, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    Great take on motivation after failure, Rose! It’s so easy to get stuck and think that no one else fails, ever. It’s a learning curve and eventually, you’ll make it.

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 30, 2015 at 4:17 pm

      Camilla you are so correct. Most people are either ashamed or too proud to tell others that before they succeeded in their endeavors they failed a few times. People who are truly honest will accept that they fell a few times before they eventually made it. Thanks for your comment.

  7. ettian

    Jun 26, 2015 at 4:48 am

    It is really motivating and I also believe failing is a transportation to your destination

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 26, 2015 at 7:39 pm

      Ettian you are absolutely right. Everything happens for a reason but unfortunately sometimes we are so caught up on what went wrong and not the opportunities waiting for us to explore.

  8. Gideon

    Jun 22, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    I love this post. It’s a great one. I just have to share this with my friends on social media. Thanks Rose

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 23, 2015 at 7:30 am

      Thank you very much Gedeon. I am glad you enjoyed reading it and I hope your friends do too.

  9. Rose Costas

    Jun 22, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    Thanks Lawrence for your comment. It is never easy to see failure as anything positive but in order to succeed and to truly appreciate our efforts we have to accept failure. Success is sweet but how would you know how sweet it is unless you have tasted the bitter taste of failing first.

  10. ken johnson

    Jun 19, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    I absolutely adore Rosa Costa and her messages, she is so in touch with her emotions and gives us the pleasure of her insight. I have read numerous messages by her and am constantly amazed by her maturity and her wisdom. She is truly a blessing to me and to most of us. THANK YOU ROSA

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 22, 2015 at 8:11 am

      Thanks Ken for that very kind message. My greatest desire is to use my experiences good and bad to assist others in their journey through life.

  11. Lawrence Berry

    Jun 19, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    I absolutely agree that when fail at something, you must sit back and analyze your failure because in that, you learn more about how to succeed the next time and you ultimately grow as an individual. This was a great post. Many people do look at failure as a bad thing, but when you look at failure as something that you need to do in order to succeed, you gain a certain type of resiliency to failure. They say to fail until you succeed!

    • Rose Costas

      Jun 23, 2015 at 7:31 am

      Thanks Lawrence for your comment. It is never easy to see failure as anything positive but in order to succeed and to truly appreciate our efforts we have to accept failure. Success is sweet but how would you know how sweet it is unless you have tasted the bitter taste of failing first.

      Reply

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Motivation

Want To Be The Greatest? Publish Positivity.

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Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be the greatest in whatever field I entered. Now I am in the top tier of bloggers on the Internet.

 

So your question surely is: “How can I do the same?”

For starters, forget who I am and what I have and haven’t done. It’s not about me; it’s about you. It all starts with you and I’m going to give you the secret.

 

The secret is: Publish positivity.

Whether that’s publishing an email and sending it off, publishing a video online, publishing a blog post, publishing a picture on Instagram.

The key is always to publish something that’s positive.

 

It’s helped me and it can help you.

Everything I have ever published on the Internet since I started this blogging journey is positive. It’s content that is designed to take your life to the next level.

I aim to send chills down your spine.
I aim to get you to think differently.
Most of all, I aim to get you to take positive action.

 

Before all of the positivity, it started with negativity.

The thing is it didn’t start this way. My journey started with a whole lot of negativity and yours is probably similar. That’s the best place to start anything from. With so much negativity, there’s only one place to go – UP!

I always thought that success was only for those born rich. My days were spent finding reasons why something couldn’t be done. I complained all day long about everything I wanted but couldn’t get. I was tired, lonely, frustrated and pissed off at the world. We’ve all been there.

Then someone inspired me by publishing positivity. Now I want to return that favor.

I want everyone to be able to become inspired and then make the same decision as me to publish positivity from now on. Enough is enough.

 

There’s already too much negativity.

I’m fed up with every traditional media outlet talking about nothing other than negativity. Consistent negativity only produces more negativity. There’s no point harping on about what’s wrong and how everything is so challenging to fix. Nothing worth doing is easy.

“If you’re trying to achieve a goal, then you have to publish positivity to stand out and influence all of us”

 

People want to be inspired.

The common theme with everything I have achieved is that I’ve figured out the one hack: People just want to be inspired. It’s really that simple. To be the greatest, you must inspire people.

We all love inspiration because it’s what we’re all lacking. Tell stories and inspire people. That’s how you become the best in the world at anything. We all have a story to tell that can inspire people. Reach inside, and pull out those stories for all of us to hear.

You’ve overcome some obstacle.
You’ve had a difficult time.
You’ve experienced death.
You’ve lost something.

The inspiration we can all learn from you is inside of you already. Use these tools to inspire us all because we all want it. We all need it.

 

You’ll become positive at the same time.

The best part about publishing positivity is that it makes you more positive at the same time. Each day, I’m searching for something positive to share with you all. This makes me so focused on being positive that I’ve forgotten about the negative world that many experience daily.

You get more of what you focus on.

“Publish positivity and you’ll steer clear of the negative nonsense that’s subconsciously holding you back from being the greatest”

 

Positivity compounds.

Yes, that’s right! As you publish positivity, the effect compounds. You start with being just a little bit positive and once you get a few years in, all the wisdom that people like Nelson Mandela had is at your disposal. Positivity builds the greatness that world champions like Nelson Mandela had.

If you want to do something extraordinary with your life (we all do deep down), then you must start with publishing positivity. Find something to talk about and do it with every ounce of passion in your body. Allow yourself to light up and become a beacon of positivity for anyone that can benefit from your advice.

 

Where does this all lead?

Publishing positivity can lead almost anywhere. I never had any clue when I began. I always thought I’d just do it for a bit and then see what happens. Little did I know that publishing positivity can get you access to people, places, opportunities, careers and feelings I never even knew.

Publishing positivity has made every single goal I’ve ever wanted come to life.
Publishing positivity has allowed me to remove my toxic friends and replace them with my heroes.

The possibilities for you when you publish positivity are the same. You’ll get to experience things that you never thought was possible,

It all starts with publishing positivity and being positive.

Don’t hold yourself back any longer. Get started and publish positivity.

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Motivation

Endorphins Are The Key To The Good Life.

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Endorphins And The Good Life. Basketball Motivation

When I was 25 years old, I became a gym junkie. I went four times a week and trained hard with a personal trainer. During that time of my life, I was chasing the physical appearance benefits of going to the gym and training.

I remember feeling really good after every workout. Whenever I felt stressed or upset, going to the gym helped me.

 

Then my life crashed: I stopped.

About two years in, everything in my life went horribly wrong. I ended up leaving a business and starting all over again. I sold everything I had and so I could no longer justify paying a personal trainer. I stopped going to the gym not long after too.

 

Here’s the harsh truth.

Since that day when I quit the gym all those years ago, I’ve never felt the same. The rush that you get from putting your body under pressure and sweating profusely can’t be matched. A few weeks ago, I began reading this book that included a chapter on physical training.

The benefits were highlighted to me again. You’ll increase your endorphin levels triggering a positive response in your body; you’ll increase cardiac volume; you’ll increase insulin sensitivity and that will put you in a better mental state. Oh, and it makes you smarter too.

Endorphins make you smarter by improving blood flow to the brain and boosting growth hormones that produce new nerve cells. They even help release brain chemicals like dopamine, glutamine and serotonin. Serotonin is the chemical that makes you happy.

So obviously going to the gym and having these endorphin things are good for you. Imagine what newfound energy this will bring to your passions in life.

 

What caused me to go back to the gym?

I’d been feeling low on energy despite my healthy diet and I was getting a few headaches. This was literally killing my dreams because I didn’t have the energy I needed to write inspirational content.

 

I came home from the gym and felt on fire!

After my first session back at the gym, I came home and felt on fire. I wrote five blog posts in a matter of hours – they were some of my best work. My mental state was changed and the low energy I was experiencing went away.

 

The food I ate began to change.

When you increase the endorphin levels in your body, I found, that I no longer wanted to eat junk food. I’ve seen the same change in my friends who have gone this route as well. Training at the gym makes you want to refuel and recharge with proper food.

All of a sudden a big greasy pizza just doesn’t feel appealing anymore. You start to crave fruit, vegetables, tofu, seafood and anything that will nourish you and help you train again the next day.

I know this sounds nuts and I promise you it’s true!

 

It’s not just the endorphins.

The endorphin rush is not the only benefit I got from the gym. There were added side benefits that I didn’t even think of.

It’s the discipline you get.
It’s the goals you set.
It’s the changes you see.
It’s the people you meet at the gym.

 

What starts to happen is that you become focused on being just that little bit better each day. Instead of staying the same and not growing in any way, your mindset changes.

“You look for ways to improve your life and the gym becomes the catalyst for it”

It’s only after some deep, meditative thought that I came to this conclusion. Lucky I read that book hey?

 

And wait, there’s more.

I started to smile more. With my mental state changing for the better, I no longer found myself disappointed or pissed off for not having the energy I craved, to live my life.

With all of this extra thinking space, I found myself smiling more. Looking after yourself feels good. If nothing else, it gives you something to be happy about.

 

Anger and stress decreased.

During the first week of gym training, I had a few negative situations I was dealing with at work.

They were really annoying me and I found myself being angry.

This anger led to stress that I hadn’t experienced for a while.

“The gym became an outlet for me to get out of my own head because I was forced to concentrate on the pain and focus needed to do the exercises I had committed to”

Combining the gym with a bit of meditation also helped too.

 

Don’t forget that three letter word (you thought I was going to say Tim but I mean sex baby!)

So far I’ve only spoken about the gym – don’t forget sex as well. Sex releases endorphins. If you want more endorphins, then have more sex!

Now you have two sources of endorphins to play with (pardon the pun).

 

***Final thought***

I know what you’re thinking – because I am Gandhi (joking) – “Tim I already knew all of this. Of course going to the gym is good for you.”

That’s the issue right there. We know lots of stuff and most of the time we still don’t take action on what is good for us. The best way to take action on tasks like going to the gym is to hear someone else’s story.

Stories will inspire you to take action, not knowledge.

Now you’ve heard my story, it’s time to take action. Drag your ass to the gym and start exercising. Don’t forget to sexercise as well (insert wink emoji here)!

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Motivation

Starting The Morning By Making Your Bed Is Stupid – Do This Instead

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Making Your Bed

Ever heard that you should start your morning by completing one small task like making your bed?

This is stupid advice. Don’t follow it.

If you feel like you have achieved something by making your bed, then you’re way off.

Making your bed is a stupid little task that doesn’t make you feel good at all. If you find satisfaction in doing something so small, and you think that’s a good start, it’s not.

“You must do something meaningful to start the day if you want to change the world”

 

Start the morning with something big.

Yup, that’s what I said you little rascal. Do something that matters. For me, that’s writing blog posts like this one, instead of doing chicken little tasks that don’t serve anybody – like making your bed. I recommend starting the day with an epic achievement.

Sit down and write something you are proud of.
Go and train for that sport you love.
Prepare that presentation that is going to change your company.
Wake up and do public speaking first thing.

Now that last one is one I do every fortnight. I wake up at 4 am and go to Toastmasters at 7 am to start the day with a speech. It sets up my entire week and gives me energy. Try it for yourself.

 

Your mind is fresh in the morning – don’t waste it.

As the day moves on, your energy levels get lower (especially if you have a poor diet). This is why starting your day by wasting your valuable energy making your bed is total nonsense!

Don’t make your bed, use your energy for something that will make you fulfilled.
Start the day with something that will make you damn proud of yourself.

When I publish a freshly written article on Adccited2Success at 5 am, I feel on fire. I get to work ready to steamroll over anyone who wants to take me off my purpose. I feel like a lion ready to pounce on its prey and fight any enemy that presents itself.

 

Your bed can wait.

You know what? Your bed can wait. It doesn’t need to be made right this second. You can do hard labor when you get home and you’re tired from the day. Making your bed requires no thinking so don’t waste your mind on it.

“Low energy states are the best time to make your bed, iron your clothes and cook meals”

 

Achieving goals builds momentum.

The reason why I don’t want you to start your day achieving rubbish goals is that it gives you no momentum. Doing something difficult in the morning sets your day up to tackle even more challenging obstacles.

I’d rather you did the big stuff first and then worried about the small stuff like how your rainbow colored doona on your bed looks. Who you trying to impress with your bed anyway?

 

Some days will suck.

Okay, so I’ve made it sound like every day you are going to live like a commando or even GI Joe. Don’t worry I’m not that silly or crazy. There are days that you will suck. You’ll wake up and achieve nothing. You’ll do dumb stuff like make your bed instead of doing something a bit more difficult.

It’s okay. You can’t be Rambo every single day or hour. What I want you to think about here is to spend the majority of your week in a peak state that involves attempting meaningful goals in the morning. Miss a day here and there. Take the weekend off.

Relax, because you can’t always be on like a pit bull ready to attack.

“If you take yourself too seriously, then you’ll start to lose the plot. Your ego will become out of control and you’ll think you are unstoppable and do something dumb like taking a selfie on the side of a skyscraper where you could fall to your death. Don’t laugh; this is now a thing!”

Everything in moderation. You also need balance. Don’t mistake balance, though, for being lazy and doing half-assed stuff like making your bed.

 

Mornings have defined me.

I get dozens of emails asking how I find time to write and do all the crazy things I talk about.

My response is always the morning. Doing big stuff in the morning has allowed me to get a head start on life. I will not accept mediocrity and even when it hurts, I do my best to remember why I put myself through these challenges, day after day.

There’s something about progress that is addictive and it’s a big part of the success formula. The first thing you do shouldn’t be:

– Make coffee
– Drink lemon water
– Look at your phone
– Check your social media followers.

The first thing you should do is bite a chunk off one of your big audacious goals that forms part of your life’s purpose. Now feel free to substitute the word purpose for vision, goals, meaning of your life – I don’t care amigo.

 

Again, do the big stuff.

Let’s rinse and repeat, so you’re clear. Don’t wake up and do little, tiny, meaningless goals like making your bed and wasting the best hours of the day. Wake up and do something that will give you a sense of fulfillment.

Hope we’re clear now. Time to go do the big stuff. The really big stuff!

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Motivation

Do You Really Want Your Goal?

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I was talking to someone I know about their dating experiences. Dating was something that she always had as a goal, but for a long time, she has been single.

She got frustrated when I shared what has worked for me and my experience. I wanted to understand why she hadn’t got to her goal. “I mean if you want something bad enough then what’s stopping you?” I thought to myself.

 

Dreaming is not enough.

She knew what she wanted and she fantasized about it but she had already made a decision not to take action. Thinking about how nice it would be to sit on the beach with the love of your life will not make you happy.

If you want a business do it.
If you want to find love, then do it.
If you want to travel then do it.
If you want to inspire people, then do it.

What’s the point of having a goal if it never becomes a reality? Making a decision is the first step to any goal and then taking action without knowing the result is the next step. Analytical thinking can often distract you from getting started. Having a crystal clear plan is almost never necessary. I wish I could tell you what the love of your life looks like. I can’t.

 

Exaggerating combined with excuses doesn’t work.

This girl I knew exaggerated every aspect of dating. She would say:

“There are no good guys left.”
“People are so harsh these days.”
“Guys are lazy.”
“Online dating doesn’t work.”

“Excuses are like cancer running through your body. It’s easy to find everything that is wrong with the goal you want to achieve”

Of course, stuff is hard….life is hard. What you’ll learn though is that when you do the hard stuff towards your goal, you get the results and feel awesome about it at the same time.

Tell the world why you are going to achieve your goal – don’t tell us why you won’t. What you tell us about your goal ends up becoming the result.

 

Drunk on comparing.

Next, she told me all about how her friends all got the man they wanted and how it was so easy for them. Nothing is easy for any of us. When we commit to putting in the work, we get closer to our goal. The universe doesn’t owe you jack so forget about serendipity, luck and anything that is not based on you getting off your ass and working.

Getting drunk on comparing only distracts you from your own challenge. Everyone’s life story is different and there are no absolutes. The life you think everyone else has that is so wonderful is all an illusion. You don’t see these people you idolize 24 hours a day.

If you did, what you’d see is all the parts of their life they hate. We are all carrying huge problems on our shoulders. My advice to you would be to not focus on these problems. Focus on what you can do to move forward and spend zero time thinking about everyone else who tells you how happy they are.

 

Lacking energy and motivation.

She tells me she is uninspired and lacking energy. My view is that if you avoid your goal and put it off, you’ll end up feeling this way. To say something is a goal and then say it’s okay if you never achieve it is going to guarantee you failure. That’s exactly what she did.

She told me that she is prepared to face the fact she will never find a man. The moment there is a Plan B, you start telling yourself it’s okay. It’s not okay. If you want this goal, then go after it and never give up. Yes, it will take many tough decision and risks to get to your “Happy Place, ” but it’s worth every bit of pain.

The lack of motivation you face is often tied to your goals.

“When you don’t make progress towards your goal, you start to lose sight of the meaning for your life”

It’s not the end of the world though because you can always change your ways and get back on track.

The energy you need to feel alive again is inside of you. All you need is to feel bad enough about your situation to decide change is a must. When achieving your goal is non-negotiable, and nothing else matters, things start to change in your favor.

 

Feeling lonely.

Of course you will feel lonely if you don’t work towards your goal. Being sad and depressed is not a state of mind that will attract people into your life. No one wants to be around this type of person for a long time.

If you don’t like being lonely, then do something about it! You’re lonely because you’re obsessed with yourself and your selfish desires. Move out of that place and into a place of abundance and caring, and your circumstances will change.

The girl in my story is lonely because she doesn’t have a man. She refuses to do something about it and so she get’s what she settles for. There are billions of people on this planet so it’s nearly impossible to be lonely if you decide you don’t want to be.

When you suffer negative feelings, you can decide to make a stand. You can always decide that enough is enough and you’re going to break the pattern of your own limiting thoughts. It’s your thoughts that are limiting you not the world around you.

 

Assumptions are a curse.

The last thing this girl did was assume until she’d left no space to make anything happen. Assumptions make you think you have all the answers and there’s no more research required. Assumptions tell you that you’re very smart when in fact you’re acting like an idiot.

Not trying something because you think you know the outcome is the ultimate failure. You can’t possibly know how every experiment will turn out beforehand so stop trying to. Don’t sit there and tell me that you’ve tried everything to achieve your goal because you damn well haven’t.

You’ve decided to be a sook and let this negative world win because you’re hoping some third party is going to save the day.

You’re hoping that someone else is going to do the work for you and solve all your problems. You’re hoping that someone will feel sorry for you.

Only you can save yourself. The rest of us are trying to save ourselves from our own problems and challenges. This leaves the entitled person out in the cold searching for answers that don’t exist.

There is hope for you.
There are answers within you if you look for them.
Try Self Improvement. Read a few books.

Stop falling in love with the curse that is “assumptions.”

 

***Final thought***

When I hear stories like the one I’ve just shared, I often wonder whether people really want their goals. I think that goals have become a form of convenience to romanticise about something that will probably never happen.

If you really want your goal then take action. Throw your assumptions and excuses in the bin.

Stop settling for second best. Make a decision today to go after that thing you want so badly. Give yourself time to get the results. Most of all, help others in the process.

That’s how you get your goal ladies and gentleman. Ask yourself again: “Do I really want this goal?”
If so, get to work.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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