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Success Advice

10 Signs You Are Addicted To Failure

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If you’re searching for the secrets to success, they aren’t hard to find. There are thousands of books, seminars, podcasts, articles, interviews, videos, and courses all dedicated to teaching you how to succeed. And yet even with all of this incredible information available at little to no cost, so many of us continue to live in mediocrity and will never taste success.

The reality is that you can have all the right knowledge, but if you hold on to the wrong beliefs or behaviors, you are more likely to meet with failure than you are with success. Failure is not always a bad thing, as long as you are learning from the mistakes and are correcting your behaviors and actions to reach success. Fortunately there are signs that serve as warnings that you may be on the path to constant failure. By acknowledging these signs, and making changes when necessary, you increase your odds of success dramatically.

Listed below are 10 signs that you’re addicted to constant failure:

 

How To Stop Failing By Changing Your Behaviors

 

1. You’re addicted to the approval of others

When it’s time to make an important decision, instead of trusting your logic and intuition, you consult with the people around you first. You value the opinions of others more than you value your own. This emotional addiction to the approval of others stems from your lack of self-confidence, and your desire to please everyone.

Successful people are very particular about whose advice they ask for. They make sure to only consider the opinion of someone who has a track record of success with the issue at hand. They don’t concern themselves with the opinions of anyone and everyone, especially when it comes to issues that those people have little or no experience with. At the end of the day, they do what they feel is right – not what other people convince them to do.

 

2. You entertain yourself instead of educating yourself

You work a full time job and you might even have a decent career, but you haven’t opened a book since college, and the only extra training you’ve taken was required by your employer. The thought of going to networking events in your industry, reading books, listening to podcasts, or going to seminars to learn new skills and get new ideas is completely foreign to you.

Instead of spending your spare time investing in yourself and your ability to provide more value to the marketplace, you distract yourself with entertainment that adds no real value to your life or your productivity. You watch television often, you always know who won the game, and you can be found in nightclubs regularly.

 

3. You blame others for your circumstances

You’re not satisfied with where you are in life, but you have a perfect explanation for it. Essentially, none of it is your fault. You blame your boss, your coworkers, your parents, your educators, your childhood, even the economy for your lack of success.

You refuse to take 100% responsibility for your results. You refuse to acknowledge that YOU are in control of your life, and you get to steer yourself in whatever direction you choose.

 

4. You’re afraid of making mistakes

You’re afraid of failure, so you do whatever you can do avoid making mistakes. You forget that in the real world failure is not good or bad, it is simply feedback. But instead of learning from the valuable feedback that failure provides, you try to avoid it entirely. When you make a mistake, you cover it up and hope no one notices. You also put off making decisions because you’re afraid of making the wrong one. It takes you a long time to finally make a decision, and you change your mind often.

 

5. You stay in relationships that obviously aren’t working

You have a tendency to date people who bring you more problems than pleasure. You often tolerate behaviors that you know are unacceptable, and because you tolerate them they continue. Maybe you carry unresolved issues from previous relationships into your current one. Maybe you struggle with a low self-image so the standard you have for others isn’t very high. Whatever the case is, you must understand that your choice of spouse has a major impact on your life and success. If the person you’re with now is inhibiting your happiness and success, cut them lose and raise your standards.

 

6. You’re addicted to drama

Your life is a lot like an episode from a reality TV show. You are rarely on good terms with all of the people around you. You gossip about others often, and surprise surprise, they gossip about you too. The people you spend time with are known for arguing with each other, flirting with each other’s spouses, lying, and generally just causing problems between each other regularly. Instead of disassociating yourself from these types of people, you jump right in and add fuel to the fire. Heck, maybe you’re even the star of the show.

 

7. You spend time with people who are going nowhere

Jim Rohn, who was considered to be America’s Foremost Business Philosopher, once said that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Unfortunately you spend most of your time with people who do not support or encourage your success. The people around you have no ambitions, no goals, and no concrete plans to improve their life. They seem to think that success is something that happens to other people, but not to them. You sometimes share an ambitious idea with these people, but they are quick to crush it.

Successful people know that the attitudes of the people around them are contagious, so they intentionally surround themselves with people who will encourage them and push them to higher levels. They know that they can’t afford to adopt the beliefs, thoughts, and habits of mediocre people if they are going to continue succeeding.

 

8. You’re careless with money

You often run out of money before you run out of month. You’re living paycheck to paycheck and you invest nothing for the future. You carry a balance on your credit cards, you take vacations you can’t afford, and you often buy expensive things impulsively. You spend money trying to look successful, but your balance sheet tells a different story. You hardly have any savings. You certainly don’t have a retirement plan. You don’t have any assets that make money for you, and your spending habits are your biggest liability.

You sometimes come close to acknowledging the truth about your situation, but instead of facing it and changing it, you let it continue. Thinking about your finances gives you a headache, and you prefer to avoid the subject entirely.

 

9. You have dreams (great) but no set goals (not so great)

You often imagine a more desirable version of your life, but instead of working towards making that vision a reality, you settle for your present circumstances. You complain often, but change little. You say you want certain things, but you do nothing to obtain them. You wish for your life to get better, but you make no commitment to improve yourself or your circumstances.

Successful people are driven by clear, specific goals. Their goals are what guide their decisions and their daily activities, and they rarely let a day pass by without doing something to bring them closer to achieving them. Their dreams aren’t something they sleep with at night; their dreams are something they wake up and chase.

 

10. You think successful people got lucky

The final sign that you’re addicted to failure is you believe that people who are successful got lucky – that they had some sort of advantage that you don’t have. You believe their parents helped them, or they went to the right school, or grew up in the right neighbourhood, or got in at the right time, or knew the right person, etc.

You think success is something that people stumble upon – a “right place at the right time” sort of situation. But the reality is people succeed by being the right person in the right place at the right time. In other words, they work relentlessly to prepare themselves for specific opportunities, and when those opportunities present themselves, they seize them. They don’t sit around waiting for the life they want to fall into their lap. They also typically don’t buy lottery tickets.

Change your actions

 

Tyler Basu is the Author of the #1 Amazon Bestselling book Lifestyle Business Blueprint, and the Publisher & Editor of Lifestyle Business Magazine, a digital magazine for lifestyle entrepreneurs. He also hosts the Lifestyle Business Magazine Podcast. To get in touch with Tyler visit www.tylerbasu.com.

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27 Comments

27 Comments

  1. Honey

    Apr 23, 2017 at 10:51 am

    man you have written a nice post

  2. mazharoddin

    Mar 6, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Excellent post and inspiring one, its true our surroundings and people have lot of impact on us, reading good books or articles like this one will definitely help to be in good company.

  3. Joseph Hotto

    Jul 4, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Excellent Advice! I am 18 years old and I have Asperger’s Syndrome. Ever since my junior year of high school when college admissions and academic performance started, I was obsessed with getting into the “best” college in my state and not acknowledging my own strengths and weaknesses, and I crashed more than succeeded. This was also the case with my friends: I kept looking at the big picture than focusing on smaller steps that could lead me to where I want to go to. Also, I must say that indulging on how great your future will turn out is a WASTE of time: you are essentially doing nothing and you decrease your motivation. Nobody is perfect, and it is even hard for me to realize.

  4. fostergrowthdotbiz

    Aug 27, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    Great article. Many persons and their careers would benefit if more time was spent on this topic. Of course, the key challenge is that there are so many not very successful people. One needs to look hard and be disciplined to find achievers. And, sometimes those “average” persons are very enjoyable to be with. @fostergrowth

  5. Paul

    Apr 14, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    Good post!

  6. james simwanza

    Mar 14, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    You have truely made your point James,but hey this post was for those who feel they need a change in there life,no harm about it.Its take it or leave it,I Believe we all can make choices.The auther did a great job for those who will go by it.THANKYOU

  7. Naomi@business start ups

    Mar 6, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    Hi Tyler,

    Jonathan’s comment is great! You’re seeing your valuable advice being put into action already.

    All great points. Well done

    Naomi

  8. James

    Mar 6, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    In general I agree, many of the point you make are good general life advice, but you’re clearly successful and successful people tend to attribute their success to their own personal characteristics (hard work, intelligence, ingenuity etc) whereas the reality is that luck does play a role in many people’s success. Because of this I disagree with numbers 3 and 10, particularly the bold text in number 3. People are not in control of their lives and the worse off you are the less in control you are and the harder it is to take control.

    The way you write show that your frame of reference is already a relatively privileged subset of society. You talk about not reading books since college, going to networking events in your industry, listening to podcasts and making important decisions. You’re talking about university educated professionals not those in minimum wage jobs and on zero hour contracts. The points you put forward don’t really work for anyone but this subset.

    Obviously I’m not saying all successful people got lucky, just that points 3 and 10 are inaccurate. No one is 100% responsible for their results, that’s just something successful people like to claim. In reality other people have a huge effect on your success and failure and luck does play a part in the vast majority of people’s careers.

    • Jeremy

      Mar 7, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      I agree that no one is 100% responsible for their results, but you cannot take this at face value. What it means is that you have to take control of your life by not staying down when fallen and blaming others for your unfortunate setbacks. Even when it wasn’t your fault.

      Yes, luck sure plays a role. But successful people are too busy increasing the odds than bothering about whether or not they will ever hit the jackpot.

    • Ike Chidolue

      Mar 9, 2014 at 12:43 am

      Come off it, James, Tyler has written some most valuable suggestions on how anyone could reposition themselves positively and hopefully become more successful. If you truly define success, then you must add #3 & #10 back to it. Hard work & masterly intelligence is a must. Playing the blame game won’t cut it. Success is not like playing the lottery. I believe that successful were prepared, became equipped technical authority in tgeir field, and showed up always waiting for/ or anticipating the opportunity to showcase their expertise/skill/discipline to a larger audience or the game changer.

      Even in the unlikely event where anyone who applied themselves to all the 10 guides above but did not hit it big, such persons should walk away gladly with the fact that they are a lot better positively build person, with a new can – do attitude to life and that in itself is success.

      Thanks, Tyler for this write up, it jolted me up from bed, & got me taking stock of where I may have missed it & what changes I need to make. Time now is 1:41AM & I’m in Nigeria.

      • Jeremy

        Mar 10, 2014 at 3:35 am

        “Even in the unlikely event where anyone who applied themselves to all the 10 guides above but did not hit it big, such persons should walk away gladly with the fact that they are a lot better positively build person, with a new can – do attitude to life and that in itself is success.” ==> 100%.

        People are always thinking about whether they will hit the end result. But it’s not always about the end result. It’s hardly about it in fact. It’s more about the person you become as a result of going all out to achieve those goals.

        Well said, Ike.

    • tylerbasu

      Mar 9, 2014 at 4:48 am

      Hi James, thank you for the well thought out comment – you have brought up some interesting points. Respectfully, I would like to offer a few insights. I believe you are right in saying that no one is 100% responsible for their results. In reality there is an interdependence between all people who contribute to any specific result together.That being said, it is having the MENTALITY that you are responsible for your results that is important. That mentality will prevent you from placing blame on others when things don’t work out as you hope, which is what point #3 is about: not blaming others, and taking responsibility. I am just now reminded of a great quote: “great leaders share the credit for their successes, but take responsibility for their failures.”

      Secondly, as much as I appreciate you calling me “clearly successful” and of a “privileged subset of society” I would like to shed some light on some more facts. I did not start here. I got here by choice. Yes, I have spent some time in college, but all those things I mentioned (read books, attend networking events, listen to podcasts, etc.) are things that I did BEFORE I went to college and that I still do today. College or university alone is NOT the key to success, and there is plenty of evidence of this in the marketplace today. It was precisely by doing those things that I was able to rise above limiting circumstances, and ALL of those things didn’t cost much in time or money and are certainly not unavailable to all individuals regardless of their social or economic status.

      When you say that those points don’t work for certain people you are enabling them to allow their circumstances to define their opportunities, rather than encourage them to meet people and utilize resources that can help them to rise above those circumstances. If you believe yourself to be in some “subset” that prevents you from investing in yourself in this manner, I challenge you to not be defined by your environment, stop making excuses, and start creating the environment you want for your life.

      Respectfully,
      Tyler

      • James

        Mar 14, 2014 at 1:57 pm

        Well worth watching (if you’re in the UK) to challenge the idea that people are in control of their success and understand how much of a disadvantage some people are at.

        The best quote comes from Rachel Johnson (Boris Johnston’s sister):
        “In a sense I care a lot more about these people’s children because Jackie and Mick have made, and they would say it first, very poor choices and very bad decisions. Their choices are going to take away their children’s ability to make good choices and to have the opportunities my children have had.”
        Its a shame she doesn’t make the leap to realising that the parents (Jackie and Mick) have had their ability to make good choices taken away by their parents, and their parents by their grandparents and so on.

        Ike and Tyler, you talk about “coming prepared”, “equipped with technical authority”, “anticipating the opportunity to showcase their expertise/skill/discipline” and having “the MENTALITY that you are responsible for your results”. The point I’m making is that many people, through no fault of their own, simply do not have the mentality, skills, organisation and initiative to do these things. Growing up in certain areas, going to bad schools etc leaves people unequipped and unable to make good life choices, resulting of a vicious circle generation after generation after generation.

        Its not about passing the blame or people making excuses, its about realising that some people are not being prepared to compete in the environment where the 10 points Tyler lays out become relevant. These people don’t have the options not to be defined by their environment. They’re trapped in a cycle of poverty, desperation and necessity.

        • Jeremy

          Mar 14, 2014 at 2:35 pm

          You definitely have valid points here, James. But then again, don’t you think anyone who is able to read this article should be well educated and equipped to make good life choices?

          • James

            Mar 14, 2014 at 3:22 pm

            That was exactly the point I made in my first comment. By accepting that this article is only for people who are well educated equipped to make good life choices you’ve already limited the relevance of the points above to a very small, privileged, and in relative terms successful subset of the population.

            You’re not “addicted to failure” if you’re a well educated professional who perhaps isn’t getting promoted as fast as they want, in fact you’re already very successful. Obviously you can change your behaviours to optimise your chances of being where you want to be but that’s more about your own expectations and your perception of your own worth vs. reality than transforming yourself from a failure to a success.

            The points are not helpful or even relevant to people who are truly “failing” in our society and the article shows a lack of understanding of what it truly means to be failing and how difficult it can be for people to change their circumstances.

            • Jeremy

              Mar 14, 2014 at 3:39 pm

              “you’ve already limited the relevance of the points above to a very small, privileged, and in relative terms successful subset of the population.” ==> Even if that is so, that is probably 100% of all people reading this and that’s all that matters right?

              Also, don’t take things at face value!! I’m talking about being “addicted to failure”. In this article’s context, I would believe “failure” to be anyone desiring change in their life, but either not taking action, or not changing their mindset/mentality/attitude.

              You are right in saying that the article isn’t helpful for people who are truly “failing” in our society. That’s because, like you said, it’s directed at “a very small, privileged, and in relative terms successful subset of the population.” Which happens to be about 100% of the readers here!!

              I can totally understand where you’re coming from, James. But again, please don’t take things at face value. A lot of these articles have attention grabbing headlines like this one. And you can’t say the headline is irrelevant.

  9. Nick Giordano

    Mar 6, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    You really opened my eyes and my heart, with your quotes. The one that said: ” I have dreams but no set goals, was so true. God bless you for writing these quotes and inspiring others in looking at their lives. This was just the wake up call that I needed.

  10. ayushi parsheera

    Mar 6, 2014 at 9:50 am

    perfect mirror, introspected myself ,head to toe in last 5 minutes, wow!! thank you!! i got to be working on it

  11. Roderick

    Mar 6, 2014 at 5:34 am

    Didn’t know I was addicted to anything until now. True eye opener…ready to make changes!!!

  12. Jeremy

    Mar 5, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    Surrounding yourself with the people that will bring you up is so important.

    Just as you say, “Successful people know that the attitudes of the people around them are contagious, so they intentionally surround themselves with people who will encourage them and push them to higher levels.” Plus being around people who are doing the impossible and have the courage to pursue their dreams.

    Trouble is, a lot of people think otherwise. They think that they can rely on themselves which is not always the case.

    I think that this is one of the most powerful life hacks that will really get you ahead in life, as Scott Dinsmore says. You don’t even have to change your goals. You just need to get inspired by these people and many things will take care of itself.

  13. jonathan brantley

    Mar 4, 2014 at 11:27 pm

    This article was an eye-opening slap in the face. I knew I was committing many of these offenses, but instead of taking action I chose to play the victim. I love and hate you, Tyler Basu, for writing this article.

    No more excuses. Thank you, Tyler Basu, for the kick in the pants!

    • tylerbasu

      Mar 5, 2014 at 5:55 am

      Love your response! You’re probably not the only one who felt this way after reading this. Having the courage to accept the reality you’ve created is the first step to making positive changes. I wish you the best of luck =)

  14. james simwanza

    Mar 4, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    very very educative,thanx alot i hv learnt more than i needed

  15. Nikola Gjakovski

    Mar 4, 2014 at 11:38 am

    Great post Tyler. You got some great quotes such as “The final sign that you’re addicted to failure is you believe that people who are successful got lucky”. I find myself so much in the mistakes and I’m really glad I flew into this article !

    • tylerbasu

      Mar 4, 2014 at 10:18 pm

      Thank you Nikola! I wrote this article knowing that it would likely offend certain people, but at the same time hoping that it would give them a chance to truly reflect on any habits or beliefs they have that do not support their success. See you at the top champion!

      • Cristina R

        Mar 5, 2014 at 12:08 pm

        No offense taken here, great post, thank you!

  16. Dor

    Mar 3, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    Great article! The close friends and the environment effect us more than we think. One step towards leaving failure behind is choosing who we want to surround us and with whom we need to disconnect.

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Success Advice

The Ugly Truth About Success and Why You’re Not Achieving It

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As human beings, most of us have this tendency to overcomplicate things. Maybe you’ve had this experience of trying to find success, but for some reason, it keeps eluding you.  In our pursuit to win, hardly anyone tells us the ugly truth about why most of our dreams seem to evade us.

Today, I’m going to share with you why so many people are held back from fully realizing their dreams as well as how to overcome those obstacles.   

By creating a resolve to not make these three mistakes and falling prey to these common weaknesses – we can shift our success and assure that our goals are attained. Getting to the finish line isn’t as hard as you think – that is, if you don’t let yourself fall into these three traps.

1. You Don’t Follow A Plan Long Enough

In today’s society, we’re used to microwave results – we are accustomed to zapping our results. Push a button and voila your food is ready. Watch a movie and just like that in two hours the hero has experienced pain, sadness, and triumph. Sadly though, success doesn’t happen with a push of a button or in a two-hour window.

An example of where I fell prey to this ‘fast results mentality’ was when I wanted to create my ideal body. I hired trainers, tried systems, diets, and fads, yet none of it worked…or so I told myself. But the reality was this: I gave up too soon. It was never the plan, the diet, or the trainer. It wasn’t my lack of expertise or lack of potential. The only thing that stopped me was my inability to stick to a plan long enough.

In my conversations with Jack Canfield, Elliott Hulse, Robert Kiyosaki and numerous highly-successful individuals, I’ve learned they all made a plan and stuck to it for years. If you want to achieve greatness, you must make the plan and then work that plan every single day. Be consistent and be willing to let the results blossom with time.

“Plan your work and work your plan.” – Napolean Hill

2. We Don’t Hold Our Belief Long Enough

Einstein was once asked if he was a genius, to which he gave a simple response:  “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” I love his response.

To live out and embody is one that has taken me a long time to understand. You see, for a long time I’ve had this terrible habit, it’s a habit I don’t want to admit to anyone I ever had. For decades, I’ve been a quitter. Not just outwardly, but in faith, I’ve tended to quit.

If you’re struggling to achieve some great result, it’s likely you’ve also come across this stumbling block. Losing faith too soon can make us quit when in reality a few more steps could mean reaching Graceland.

After working hard at attaining my ideal body, I finally achieved it. The plan was simple when I stuck to it because I ate specific food and worked out. I repeated this process every day for several years. It wasn’t instantaneous or easy, but it was simple. The same goes for writing, creating wealth, and creating just about anything – create a plan and work that system day-after-day.

It’s not sexy, but it’s the truth. Big wins are a bunch of small actions taken on a regular basis. A home is built one nail, one board, one screw at a time. Create a plan and work that plan.

In the world of Hollywood and marketing, we often dress up success in a fancy costume, fancy perfume, and an elegant story. But at the end of the day, every dress is stitched the same with threads of hope, intense hours of sewing, and focused labor.

3. We Don’t Seek Roads That Have Been Paved For Us

One of my favorite coaches of all time is Anthony Robbins. One of my favorite quotes from him is this: “Success leaves traces.” In my desire to achieve greatness, I’ve made one fatal mistake time after time. That mistake was always seeking to get there on my own, in my own way, without the help of anyone.

If I had listened to Anthony, I would have looked for those traces and followed them to the finish line. For those of us who are strong, capable, and want to achieve greatness, the desire to ‘do it our way’ can be our greatest strength or hindrance.

In my case, it made my work a lot harder. When I first tried to sell high-end consulting, I thought I could just figure it out. I didn’t want to listen to anyone, hire anyone, or study. I had achieved so much in business I thought I could do it my way. In doing so, I delayed my success.

Once I admitted to myself and others that I didn’t know how to pave the road to success in this area I opened up new roads to success. I was introduced to people who had already paved a way and thus made my work much easier. Instead of whacking my way through the weeds and wild growth of my own ignorance, I was shown the highway to success, and instead of weed-whacking, it was like driving a Ferrari down I-90.

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” – Tony Robbins

If you’re having a tough time achieving some results, I want you to have a finely tuned mind and heart which will take perseverance, follow-through, and faith. Lastly, it’s going to help you immensely if you can find a pre-paved path. If you want the highway to success, it does exist, it just takes looking for pre-paved paths and then working the plan to get there.

How are you making sure you become successful in life? Please share your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

Always Choose Love, Not Fear

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A few weeks ago, I met a woman that seriously changed my perspective. It was one of those chance encounters that I believe was meant to happen for a reason.

This woman had been involved in the same tragedy that I had been caught up in. As I shared my story, I quickly realized that hers was much more challenging. Her sister had lost her young baby to a man on drugs. Once she told me this, I was lost for words.

How does one even comprehend that situation? How do you not choose fear? How do you choose not to hate? These were the questions I pondered afterward.

Here’s why you should choose love:

 

1. Love conquers fear

As humans, the easiest decision we can make is to choose love. Love destroys our fear and helps us see a deeper meaning in everything that happens in life. Love is the ever-conquering force in our life that will happen if we let it.

When you’re surrounded by love, it’s impossible to be conquered by the crippling disease that is fear. Love restarts the heart like a defibrillator. Fear causes a heart attack that can kill you if you let it.

Always choose love over fear.

 

2. Everything happens for a reason

When this young girls sister lost her baby, she chose to believe that it was meant to happen for a reason. She chose to believe that the loss of life would mean something far greater than death itself. This opinion was the result of love being the only answer she could comprehend.

After the tragedy, her community got around her and showed her more love than she had ever known. The death of her nephew started her entire family on a different path.

“While they couldn’t control the circumstances of the young baby’s death, what they could control was love”

They allowed the love that everybody showed them to take them to an entirely different level. Some days were good and other days were a nightmare.

Through it all, they chose to believe in love. Love is nothing more than a belief. It can only enter your life when you believe it exists. You must be accepting and you have to give love at the same time. They are the rules of the love game.

 

3. Think love not hate

When this tragic event occurred, it would have been so easy to hate the man hooked on drugs who caused this young baby to die. This girl taught me that hate has no place in the healing process. As a matter of fact, hate has no place in our lives.

Feelings of hate can cause us to go into a downward spiral. This spiral involves us becoming very selfish and only focusing on our own needs. From this place, we can’t do the inner work required to come back from adversity. Train your brain to always assume love as the default reason for everything.

“Spending our precious energy and time on this planet hating others for things we can’t control, will block us from our dreams”

Hate will transport us to a land far far away that resembles hell. Hell is where your nightmares come true, your fears are born and the person you become is something you despise for eternity.

 

4. Love is the best feeling in the world

There are lots of types of love but no matter what; love is the best feeling in the world. When you choose love your life seems extraordinary. You feel like you are on cloud nine and nothing can stop you. Love helps you to connect with your fellow human beings on an entirely different level.

Your success in life compounds because love attracts everything you could ever want in your life. You can’t be pissed off at the world when love is your default choice.

Love is what brings us closer together. Love is what creates human life through the coming together of a man and women. Love is what lights us up and fuels our intuition. Seek out love and you’ll know what it feels like to be invincible. If the worst happens, and a young baby close to you is killed, you’ll have all the answers.

 

5. Choose love by giving love

The best gift you can give while you’re alive is love. It costs nothing, but it takes every part of you to give. If a tragedy like the one described above occurs, you have the opportunity to give love.

When you do so, and you go through a difficult time, love finds its way back into your life. Choosing love is the beginner level: giving love is the expert level.

There are so many ways to give love. You could:

– Hug someone
– Do something nice for someone
– Write something beautiful to someone
– Be there for someone who is going through a tough time
– Smile at someone who looks down

The list is endless. Love is endless. Your capacity to give love is endless. What comes into your life can also be endless when you choose love. Think about that for a minute.

 

6. Love can cause a deranged man or women to see the light

 

If you talked to a terrorist and told them that you loved them, what would happen? While I don’t know for sure, what I do know is that there is a possibility you could interrupt their pattern. Part of the reason they do what they do is that they haven’t felt love.

Because they lack love in their life, they have adopted a set of false beliefs in the hope that this will fill the void they feel, due to the lack of love they’ve experienced.

 

“Terrorists, criminals and people on drugs, all have one thing in common: they need to be shown what love is so they can conquer the fear that’s been controlling their life – the fear that’s driven them to madness and to harm people”

 

***Final thought***

It’s time to wake up and stand for love. It’s what we were born to do. It takes no effort when we try it. Love can save us from just about anything. Love is about understanding that we are all on the same mission and that ultimately we are all part of the same cause and the same existence.

When you understand the idea of love, your consciousness goes to another level. People may begin to think that you’ve transcended their reality and that you have loads of wisdom. What’s really happened is that you’ve discovered the most powerful force on Earth: LOVE.

RIP to the young mothers baby. Love will transcend everything and bring you happiness again. I hope you can find it in your hearts to one day forgive the mean that caused you so much pain. Show him the love that he’s been lacking so desperately.

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Success Advice

5 Unusual Productivity Tips From Famous Procrastinators

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Do you often procrastinate? Are you doing it now by reading this article? If yes – awesome, continue reading.

Most of us consider procrastination the biggest troublemaker and productivity killer. You see it as a vice, consequently, you try to overcome its effects, kill the procrastination beast and cheat with all the possible means.

But what if it’s not quite so? What if procrastination can virtually lead to productivity? Have you ever thought about this aspect? Many outstanding productive people, in fact, were chronic procrastinators. How did they manage to achieve success? What tips did successful people use to beat procrastination?

Here are five unusual tips from hard-core procrastinators that will help you boost your productivity level:

1. Victor Hugo: Lock away your clothes

The author of Les Misérables, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and many more tremendously famous novels was beating procrastination with the most extraordinary and radical means. One episode from his life is the most illustrative here.

Hugo started writing The Hunchback of Notre Dame quite close to the deadline – in the fall of 1830. While the deadline was in February 1831. His preparation was thorough, but he did not feel like writing. Thus, he did something that didn’t leave a choice – he got naked and locked away his clothes.

The aim of all that was to avoid temptations of going outside. Hugo had nothing to wear but a shawl. And for many months, this rag (as his wife claimed) was his daily uniform. Did it work? Absolutely. He finished the book weeks before the actual deadline.

2. Gerhard Richter: Create a crisis

Gerhard Richter, world known German artist and procrastinator, got millions with his paintings. For example, Abstrakis Bild was sold for $20,802,500 at Sotheby’s.  How did he manage to procrastinate and, at the same time, complete paintings of photos, abstracts, “blur” photo paintings, and many more works of art?

It’s striking that he actually wastes time on garden and not on his paintings. In one of the interviews, Richter described his daily routines:  “I could spend my life arranging things. Weeks go by, and I don’t paint until finally I can’t stand it any longer. I get fed up. I almost don’t want to talk about it, because I don’t want to become self-conscious about it, but perhaps I create these little crises as a kind of a secret strategy to push myself.

It is a danger to wait around for an idea to occur to you. You have to find the idea.” Thus, his secret strategy to become more productive is a simple crisis.

“Chance determines our lives in important ways.” – Gerhard Richter

3. Bill Clinton: Take criticism seriously, not personally

The 42nd president of the United States, Bill Clinton, was described as a “chronic procrastinator” by Time magazine. Could you believe that a two-time Grammy winner may be addicted to postponing? Clinton had weeks or sometimes months to make comments on the drafts of his speeches, but, eventfully, it all ended with cut-and-paste in the end.

Even his Vice President Al Gore called Clinton “punctually challenged”. However, despite all the criticism, he managed to never give up. The key secret to productivity is the way you perceive criticism, according to Bill Clinton. If you take it too personally, you won’t be able to resist the feeling of deficiency that finally leads to the inferiority complex. Therefore, keep your cool when you are criticized. Then, you have more chances to stay productive.

4. Franz Kafka: Try to wake up the night productivity

The Czech writer worked as an insurance clerk and it was the time to existential thinking. The novelist though didn’t put his ideas into action. After Kafka had been promoted, he had more time and procrastination infected him for good.

His routine day after work, as he mentioned it on one of his letters, looked like this: “Lunch till 3:30 … sleep until 7:30 … ten minutes of exercises, naked at the open window … an hour’s walk … then dinner with my family.” There is nothing about writing though. When did he actually write? Beginning from approximately 11 p.m. and continuing up to 6 a.m. Not the perfect system, for sure, but that’s was the most productive time for Kafka. It appears that he spent most of the daytime napping.

“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

5. Leonardo Da Vinci: Start several things at a time and make notes

An artist, mathematician, sculptor, writer, inventor, military engineer, Leonardo Da Vinci, is an outstanding figure in history. But despite the success he achieved, he was never focused on one thing at a time.

During his lifetime, he managed to complete only 20 paintings. The Virgin of the Rocks took him 13 years to put the final changes.  While his most illustrious work The Mona Lisa – as many as 16 years. The reason for that was his multi-tasking capacity. He was an incredibly broad-minded and all-round personality with so many genius plans. To improve a willpower, he had a rule book where he had more than 7,000 pages of notes.

His procrastination wasn’t already a secret for his benefactors. And some of them threatened him with bankruptcy in order to have his work done at last.

What if procrastination can be a way to extreme productivity and perfectionism? And still, you have structured procrastination as an option and a solution.

Would you use any of these tips to boost productivity flows? Comment below!
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Success Advice

The Lie That Is My Overnight Success

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I started writing unprofessionally three years ago. Some would say my whole career is unprofessional and I’d agree. Imperfection is damn sexy though.

I began writing only because my mentor Joel Brown said I should and I stupidly said yes without knowing why. Now, of course, I’m crystal clear about why I write: it’s to inspire. I remember uploading articles to Addicted2Success.com and seeing no one like them. I remember thinking I was a failure.

In the early days, I was writing articles about entrepreneurs I had interviewed and I wasn’t that passionate about it. Every article felt like really hard work and it required an incredible amount of willpower. Everyone at the time was doing entrepreneur interviews and there was nothing special.

Then one day, I wrote an article for the fun of it that had nothing to do with anything. It was essentially a brain fart that I concocted after dinner, late one night. It took less than one hour to write and it was written with passion. The words came out of me without even trying.

Since that day, the words have continued to pour out of me in the same way. I get into a state of flow and then it happens. Words appear, people get inspired and we all have one big party that has been named “life.” From the day I wrote that article, thousands of people shared it and they still do today.

 

I didn’t stop

After my big moment on the internet going viral, everything stopped. The tumbleweed that drifted through the desert with an eerie silence continued. Everything calmed down and people stopped caring again.

I didn’t stop though because I found my writing therapeutical.

“My blog posts became like my own personal journey and it was a way for me to escape from the Alcatraz that was my head. This prison that lived inside my head kept telling me that no one cared and I’d never be successful.”

I decided to keep finding ways to break out of Alcatraz and check in to the Ritz Hotel that was me becoming a conscious, passionate, crazy online leader.

 

I stopped giving a damn

Over the next eighteen months, I kept writing every moment I got. No one paid attention but I did. I started paying attention to the shift that was happening inside of me. The leader that had always been stuck inside of me started to unleash.

The things that used to hold me back disappeared. I didn’t give two hoots about what anyone thought and I only cared about inspiring those who wanted to be inspired. I worked my butt off and started waking up at 4 am to post new blog articles. People couldn’t understand how I had the time to write working a full-time job.

The part they didn’t get was that because the words flowed out of me so easily, it didn’t take that long at all to write something of value. People watched me posting articles and thought I was crazy. They thought what I was doing was career suicide in the big bad world of corporate politics.

I never liked politics anyway, so I stuck my middle finger up at the way things were traditionally done. I decided to be a rebel writer and live my dream. I continued to make no money and people kept on questioning what I was doing.

 

I believed

A few people believed, but most didn’t. What stuck out like tomato sauce on a freshly dry cleaned white shirt was that I believed and that’s all that mattered. I saw something that no one else could see: my real potential versus my current success.

I had the motivation to continue on when no one cared because I believed I could change the world. I saw myself as someone who had the potential to serve millions of people online. I kept telling myself never to give up and I also spread the same message throughout everything I wrote.

“I thought my writing was going to save everybody else, but what it really did is save myself”

My writing saved me from living a life without meaning and it helped me discover who I really was. I saw the pattern between every goal I’d ever had: to inspire and evoke emotion from strangers.

This clarity fuelled me and I became relentless. I reached out to every blogger, leader and person that had done cool stuff that inspired me. Originally I thought they’d all ignore me: none of them did. See when you have energy and passion oozing out of you, people can’t say no. An unwavering belief in what you’re doing is all that matters.

 

The tipping point happened

I began to see a change when each day I started to get a message from a reader/fan. It started as one message per day, then two, then three. Now I get more messages of support every day than I have time to read. Success often doesn’t become a reality in a single moment.

Success is something that is hard to measure in the early days until one giant moment happens that everyone sees. The part no one sees is the many smaller moments that happened beforehand. The small successes that may not have looked like a textbook example of “success.”

 

That big day finally came

So the big day happened when an article I wrote went viral. This was the third time it had happened, although this time the success became permanent. All those years, when I thought no one was reading, people were. What had occurred was that they were too scared to show they were reading because my success was still largely unproven.

It was only after the big success moment that people felt it was okay to come out of the metaphorical closet and say they were inspired by what I was doing. All those nights spent locked away in my office being anti-social was worth it. All those cups of green tea, takeaway meals, indoor plants, and weird emails to myself with possible headlines for articles had meant something.

More publications reached out to me and pretty soon I wasn’t just writing for Addicted2Success; I was writing for the biggest sites on the entire internet. The ones where the editors get pitched one hundred times a day by people who want to do nothing more than self-promote and build a BS “personal brand.”

Before I knew it, I was getting offered book deals, business opportunities, podcast interviews and public speaking gigs. I took some but ignored most. I remembered what was important and the fact that unwavering focus had got me to where I was.

I knew I was ready for some opportunities and not for others like public speaking. The journey had begun, but I was far from the summit of the mountain of my dreams.

 

Nothing changed

Strangely, though, it was all one ginormous anti-climax moment. Nothing had changed. Even today nothing has changed. I still want to inspire people and I still like sharing stories. I still want to live with passion and I still want to create a meaning for my life that outlives me.

What has changed is that people have seen my success as something that’s happened recently – what total BS that is. It’s taken my entire existence to discover the meaning of my life, find a medium to share it on and go after it with relentless optimism.

 

What you didn’t see with my success

You didn’t see the person that existed before all of this. You didn’t see the selfish, rude, arrogant, brat who lived for material possessions and felt like he was entitled to success because he grew up in Australia, the land of the free. I can say those horrible things because I’m talking about myself. Thankfully that’s the opposite of who I am now.

You didn’t see the transformation that occurred after that one big rock bottom moment. When everything made no sense and I had to look inside of myself to crawl out of that black hole that had become my existence. You didn’t see me step out of the darkness and into the light.

All you saw was me in the light and assumed I had always been there shining away brightly, and living the good life that is passion and purpose. How wrong that lie is. How wrong the whole concept of overnight success is.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

5 Powerful Reasons Why You Should Commit to Lifelong Learning

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Education is commonly equated to an experience for children and young adults, but the reality is that lifelong learning can benefit you in many ways. The world is constantly changing, and this means that you must be open to absorbing and actively seeking new information to stay up-to-date. This, of course, expands far beyond education in your area of professional expertise. (more…)

Helen Eagleton, a freelance blogger from Boston, follows topics in the realm of education, technology, digital marketing, and business in general. When she’s not researching for her next article, she enjoys watching documentaries and exploring the nature. Reach her @eagleton_helen.

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27 Comments

27 Comments

  1. Honey

    Apr 23, 2017 at 10:51 am

    man you have written a nice post

  2. mazharoddin

    Mar 6, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Excellent post and inspiring one, its true our surroundings and people have lot of impact on us, reading good books or articles like this one will definitely help to be in good company.

  3. Joseph Hotto

    Jul 4, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Excellent Advice! I am 18 years old and I have Asperger’s Syndrome. Ever since my junior year of high school when college admissions and academic performance started, I was obsessed with getting into the “best” college in my state and not acknowledging my own strengths and weaknesses, and I crashed more than succeeded. This was also the case with my friends: I kept looking at the big picture than focusing on smaller steps that could lead me to where I want to go to. Also, I must say that indulging on how great your future will turn out is a WASTE of time: you are essentially doing nothing and you decrease your motivation. Nobody is perfect, and it is even hard for me to realize.

  4. fostergrowthdotbiz

    Aug 27, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    Great article. Many persons and their careers would benefit if more time was spent on this topic. Of course, the key challenge is that there are so many not very successful people. One needs to look hard and be disciplined to find achievers. And, sometimes those “average” persons are very enjoyable to be with. @fostergrowth

  5. Paul

    Apr 14, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    Good post!

  6. james simwanza

    Mar 14, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    You have truely made your point James,but hey this post was for those who feel they need a change in there life,no harm about it.Its take it or leave it,I Believe we all can make choices.The auther did a great job for those who will go by it.THANKYOU

  7. Naomi@business start ups

    Mar 6, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    Hi Tyler,

    Jonathan’s comment is great! You’re seeing your valuable advice being put into action already.

    All great points. Well done

    Naomi

  8. James

    Mar 6, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    In general I agree, many of the point you make are good general life advice, but you’re clearly successful and successful people tend to attribute their success to their own personal characteristics (hard work, intelligence, ingenuity etc) whereas the reality is that luck does play a role in many people’s success. Because of this I disagree with numbers 3 and 10, particularly the bold text in number 3. People are not in control of their lives and the worse off you are the less in control you are and the harder it is to take control.

    The way you write show that your frame of reference is already a relatively privileged subset of society. You talk about not reading books since college, going to networking events in your industry, listening to podcasts and making important decisions. You’re talking about university educated professionals not those in minimum wage jobs and on zero hour contracts. The points you put forward don’t really work for anyone but this subset.

    Obviously I’m not saying all successful people got lucky, just that points 3 and 10 are inaccurate. No one is 100% responsible for their results, that’s just something successful people like to claim. In reality other people have a huge effect on your success and failure and luck does play a part in the vast majority of people’s careers.

    • Jeremy

      Mar 7, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      I agree that no one is 100% responsible for their results, but you cannot take this at face value. What it means is that you have to take control of your life by not staying down when fallen and blaming others for your unfortunate setbacks. Even when it wasn’t your fault.

      Yes, luck sure plays a role. But successful people are too busy increasing the odds than bothering about whether or not they will ever hit the jackpot.

    • Ike Chidolue

      Mar 9, 2014 at 12:43 am

      Come off it, James, Tyler has written some most valuable suggestions on how anyone could reposition themselves positively and hopefully become more successful. If you truly define success, then you must add #3 & #10 back to it. Hard work & masterly intelligence is a must. Playing the blame game won’t cut it. Success is not like playing the lottery. I believe that successful were prepared, became equipped technical authority in tgeir field, and showed up always waiting for/ or anticipating the opportunity to showcase their expertise/skill/discipline to a larger audience or the game changer.

      Even in the unlikely event where anyone who applied themselves to all the 10 guides above but did not hit it big, such persons should walk away gladly with the fact that they are a lot better positively build person, with a new can – do attitude to life and that in itself is success.

      Thanks, Tyler for this write up, it jolted me up from bed, & got me taking stock of where I may have missed it & what changes I need to make. Time now is 1:41AM & I’m in Nigeria.

      • Jeremy

        Mar 10, 2014 at 3:35 am

        “Even in the unlikely event where anyone who applied themselves to all the 10 guides above but did not hit it big, such persons should walk away gladly with the fact that they are a lot better positively build person, with a new can – do attitude to life and that in itself is success.” ==> 100%.

        People are always thinking about whether they will hit the end result. But it’s not always about the end result. It’s hardly about it in fact. It’s more about the person you become as a result of going all out to achieve those goals.

        Well said, Ike.

    • tylerbasu

      Mar 9, 2014 at 4:48 am

      Hi James, thank you for the well thought out comment – you have brought up some interesting points. Respectfully, I would like to offer a few insights. I believe you are right in saying that no one is 100% responsible for their results. In reality there is an interdependence between all people who contribute to any specific result together.That being said, it is having the MENTALITY that you are responsible for your results that is important. That mentality will prevent you from placing blame on others when things don’t work out as you hope, which is what point #3 is about: not blaming others, and taking responsibility. I am just now reminded of a great quote: “great leaders share the credit for their successes, but take responsibility for their failures.”

      Secondly, as much as I appreciate you calling me “clearly successful” and of a “privileged subset of society” I would like to shed some light on some more facts. I did not start here. I got here by choice. Yes, I have spent some time in college, but all those things I mentioned (read books, attend networking events, listen to podcasts, etc.) are things that I did BEFORE I went to college and that I still do today. College or university alone is NOT the key to success, and there is plenty of evidence of this in the marketplace today. It was precisely by doing those things that I was able to rise above limiting circumstances, and ALL of those things didn’t cost much in time or money and are certainly not unavailable to all individuals regardless of their social or economic status.

      When you say that those points don’t work for certain people you are enabling them to allow their circumstances to define their opportunities, rather than encourage them to meet people and utilize resources that can help them to rise above those circumstances. If you believe yourself to be in some “subset” that prevents you from investing in yourself in this manner, I challenge you to not be defined by your environment, stop making excuses, and start creating the environment you want for your life.

      Respectfully,
      Tyler

      • James

        Mar 14, 2014 at 1:57 pm

        Well worth watching (if you’re in the UK) to challenge the idea that people are in control of their success and understand how much of a disadvantage some people are at.

        The best quote comes from Rachel Johnson (Boris Johnston’s sister):
        “In a sense I care a lot more about these people’s children because Jackie and Mick have made, and they would say it first, very poor choices and very bad decisions. Their choices are going to take away their children’s ability to make good choices and to have the opportunities my children have had.”
        Its a shame she doesn’t make the leap to realising that the parents (Jackie and Mick) have had their ability to make good choices taken away by their parents, and their parents by their grandparents and so on.

        Ike and Tyler, you talk about “coming prepared”, “equipped with technical authority”, “anticipating the opportunity to showcase their expertise/skill/discipline” and having “the MENTALITY that you are responsible for your results”. The point I’m making is that many people, through no fault of their own, simply do not have the mentality, skills, organisation and initiative to do these things. Growing up in certain areas, going to bad schools etc leaves people unequipped and unable to make good life choices, resulting of a vicious circle generation after generation after generation.

        Its not about passing the blame or people making excuses, its about realising that some people are not being prepared to compete in the environment where the 10 points Tyler lays out become relevant. These people don’t have the options not to be defined by their environment. They’re trapped in a cycle of poverty, desperation and necessity.

        • Jeremy

          Mar 14, 2014 at 2:35 pm

          You definitely have valid points here, James. But then again, don’t you think anyone who is able to read this article should be well educated and equipped to make good life choices?

          • James

            Mar 14, 2014 at 3:22 pm

            That was exactly the point I made in my first comment. By accepting that this article is only for people who are well educated equipped to make good life choices you’ve already limited the relevance of the points above to a very small, privileged, and in relative terms successful subset of the population.

            You’re not “addicted to failure” if you’re a well educated professional who perhaps isn’t getting promoted as fast as they want, in fact you’re already very successful. Obviously you can change your behaviours to optimise your chances of being where you want to be but that’s more about your own expectations and your perception of your own worth vs. reality than transforming yourself from a failure to a success.

            The points are not helpful or even relevant to people who are truly “failing” in our society and the article shows a lack of understanding of what it truly means to be failing and how difficult it can be for people to change their circumstances.

            • Jeremy

              Mar 14, 2014 at 3:39 pm

              “you’ve already limited the relevance of the points above to a very small, privileged, and in relative terms successful subset of the population.” ==> Even if that is so, that is probably 100% of all people reading this and that’s all that matters right?

              Also, don’t take things at face value!! I’m talking about being “addicted to failure”. In this article’s context, I would believe “failure” to be anyone desiring change in their life, but either not taking action, or not changing their mindset/mentality/attitude.

              You are right in saying that the article isn’t helpful for people who are truly “failing” in our society. That’s because, like you said, it’s directed at “a very small, privileged, and in relative terms successful subset of the population.” Which happens to be about 100% of the readers here!!

              I can totally understand where you’re coming from, James. But again, please don’t take things at face value. A lot of these articles have attention grabbing headlines like this one. And you can’t say the headline is irrelevant.

  9. Nick Giordano

    Mar 6, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    You really opened my eyes and my heart, with your quotes. The one that said: ” I have dreams but no set goals, was so true. God bless you for writing these quotes and inspiring others in looking at their lives. This was just the wake up call that I needed.

  10. ayushi parsheera

    Mar 6, 2014 at 9:50 am

    perfect mirror, introspected myself ,head to toe in last 5 minutes, wow!! thank you!! i got to be working on it

  11. Roderick

    Mar 6, 2014 at 5:34 am

    Didn’t know I was addicted to anything until now. True eye opener…ready to make changes!!!

  12. Jeremy

    Mar 5, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    Surrounding yourself with the people that will bring you up is so important.

    Just as you say, “Successful people know that the attitudes of the people around them are contagious, so they intentionally surround themselves with people who will encourage them and push them to higher levels.” Plus being around people who are doing the impossible and have the courage to pursue their dreams.

    Trouble is, a lot of people think otherwise. They think that they can rely on themselves which is not always the case.

    I think that this is one of the most powerful life hacks that will really get you ahead in life, as Scott Dinsmore says. You don’t even have to change your goals. You just need to get inspired by these people and many things will take care of itself.

  13. jonathan brantley

    Mar 4, 2014 at 11:27 pm

    This article was an eye-opening slap in the face. I knew I was committing many of these offenses, but instead of taking action I chose to play the victim. I love and hate you, Tyler Basu, for writing this article.

    No more excuses. Thank you, Tyler Basu, for the kick in the pants!

    • tylerbasu

      Mar 5, 2014 at 5:55 am

      Love your response! You’re probably not the only one who felt this way after reading this. Having the courage to accept the reality you’ve created is the first step to making positive changes. I wish you the best of luck =)

  14. james simwanza

    Mar 4, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    very very educative,thanx alot i hv learnt more than i needed

  15. Nikola Gjakovski

    Mar 4, 2014 at 11:38 am

    Great post Tyler. You got some great quotes such as “The final sign that you’re addicted to failure is you believe that people who are successful got lucky”. I find myself so much in the mistakes and I’m really glad I flew into this article !

    • tylerbasu

      Mar 4, 2014 at 10:18 pm

      Thank you Nikola! I wrote this article knowing that it would likely offend certain people, but at the same time hoping that it would give them a chance to truly reflect on any habits or beliefs they have that do not support their success. See you at the top champion!

      • Cristina R

        Mar 5, 2014 at 12:08 pm

        No offense taken here, great post, thank you!

  16. Dor

    Mar 3, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    Great article! The close friends and the environment effect us more than we think. One step towards leaving failure behind is choosing who we want to surround us and with whom we need to disconnect.

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Success Advice

The Ugly Truth About Success and Why You’re Not Achieving It

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As human beings, most of us have this tendency to overcomplicate things. Maybe you’ve had this experience of trying to find success, but for some reason, it keeps eluding you.  In our pursuit to win, hardly anyone tells us the ugly truth about why most of our dreams seem to evade us.

Today, I’m going to share with you why so many people are held back from fully realizing their dreams as well as how to overcome those obstacles.   

By creating a resolve to not make these three mistakes and falling prey to these common weaknesses – we can shift our success and assure that our goals are attained. Getting to the finish line isn’t as hard as you think – that is, if you don’t let yourself fall into these three traps.

1. You Don’t Follow A Plan Long Enough

In today’s society, we’re used to microwave results – we are accustomed to zapping our results. Push a button and voila your food is ready. Watch a movie and just like that in two hours the hero has experienced pain, sadness, and triumph. Sadly though, success doesn’t happen with a push of a button or in a two-hour window.

An example of where I fell prey to this ‘fast results mentality’ was when I wanted to create my ideal body. I hired trainers, tried systems, diets, and fads, yet none of it worked…or so I told myself. But the reality was this: I gave up too soon. It was never the plan, the diet, or the trainer. It wasn’t my lack of expertise or lack of potential. The only thing that stopped me was my inability to stick to a plan long enough.

In my conversations with Jack Canfield, Elliott Hulse, Robert Kiyosaki and numerous highly-successful individuals, I’ve learned they all made a plan and stuck to it for years. If you want to achieve greatness, you must make the plan and then work that plan every single day. Be consistent and be willing to let the results blossom with time.

“Plan your work and work your plan.” – Napolean Hill

2. We Don’t Hold Our Belief Long Enough

Einstein was once asked if he was a genius, to which he gave a simple response:  “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” I love his response.

To live out and embody is one that has taken me a long time to understand. You see, for a long time I’ve had this terrible habit, it’s a habit I don’t want to admit to anyone I ever had. For decades, I’ve been a quitter. Not just outwardly, but in faith, I’ve tended to quit.

If you’re struggling to achieve some great result, it’s likely you’ve also come across this stumbling block. Losing faith too soon can make us quit when in reality a few more steps could mean reaching Graceland.

After working hard at attaining my ideal body, I finally achieved it. The plan was simple when I stuck to it because I ate specific food and worked out. I repeated this process every day for several years. It wasn’t instantaneous or easy, but it was simple. The same goes for writing, creating wealth, and creating just about anything – create a plan and work that system day-after-day.

It’s not sexy, but it’s the truth. Big wins are a bunch of small actions taken on a regular basis. A home is built one nail, one board, one screw at a time. Create a plan and work that plan.

In the world of Hollywood and marketing, we often dress up success in a fancy costume, fancy perfume, and an elegant story. But at the end of the day, every dress is stitched the same with threads of hope, intense hours of sewing, and focused labor.

3. We Don’t Seek Roads That Have Been Paved For Us

One of my favorite coaches of all time is Anthony Robbins. One of my favorite quotes from him is this: “Success leaves traces.” In my desire to achieve greatness, I’ve made one fatal mistake time after time. That mistake was always seeking to get there on my own, in my own way, without the help of anyone.

If I had listened to Anthony, I would have looked for those traces and followed them to the finish line. For those of us who are strong, capable, and want to achieve greatness, the desire to ‘do it our way’ can be our greatest strength or hindrance.

In my case, it made my work a lot harder. When I first tried to sell high-end consulting, I thought I could just figure it out. I didn’t want to listen to anyone, hire anyone, or study. I had achieved so much in business I thought I could do it my way. In doing so, I delayed my success.

Once I admitted to myself and others that I didn’t know how to pave the road to success in this area I opened up new roads to success. I was introduced to people who had already paved a way and thus made my work much easier. Instead of whacking my way through the weeds and wild growth of my own ignorance, I was shown the highway to success, and instead of weed-whacking, it was like driving a Ferrari down I-90.

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” – Tony Robbins

If you’re having a tough time achieving some results, I want you to have a finely tuned mind and heart which will take perseverance, follow-through, and faith. Lastly, it’s going to help you immensely if you can find a pre-paved path. If you want the highway to success, it does exist, it just takes looking for pre-paved paths and then working the plan to get there.

How are you making sure you become successful in life? Please share your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

Always Choose Love, Not Fear

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A few weeks ago, I met a woman that seriously changed my perspective. It was one of those chance encounters that I believe was meant to happen for a reason.

This woman had been involved in the same tragedy that I had been caught up in. As I shared my story, I quickly realized that hers was much more challenging. Her sister had lost her young baby to a man on drugs. Once she told me this, I was lost for words.

How does one even comprehend that situation? How do you not choose fear? How do you choose not to hate? These were the questions I pondered afterward.

Here’s why you should choose love:

 

1. Love conquers fear

As humans, the easiest decision we can make is to choose love. Love destroys our fear and helps us see a deeper meaning in everything that happens in life. Love is the ever-conquering force in our life that will happen if we let it.

When you’re surrounded by love, it’s impossible to be conquered by the crippling disease that is fear. Love restarts the heart like a defibrillator. Fear causes a heart attack that can kill you if you let it.

Always choose love over fear.

 

2. Everything happens for a reason

When this young girls sister lost her baby, she chose to believe that it was meant to happen for a reason. She chose to believe that the loss of life would mean something far greater than death itself. This opinion was the result of love being the only answer she could comprehend.

After the tragedy, her community got around her and showed her more love than she had ever known. The death of her nephew started her entire family on a different path.

“While they couldn’t control the circumstances of the young baby’s death, what they could control was love”

They allowed the love that everybody showed them to take them to an entirely different level. Some days were good and other days were a nightmare.

Through it all, they chose to believe in love. Love is nothing more than a belief. It can only enter your life when you believe it exists. You must be accepting and you have to give love at the same time. They are the rules of the love game.

 

3. Think love not hate

When this tragic event occurred, it would have been so easy to hate the man hooked on drugs who caused this young baby to die. This girl taught me that hate has no place in the healing process. As a matter of fact, hate has no place in our lives.

Feelings of hate can cause us to go into a downward spiral. This spiral involves us becoming very selfish and only focusing on our own needs. From this place, we can’t do the inner work required to come back from adversity. Train your brain to always assume love as the default reason for everything.

“Spending our precious energy and time on this planet hating others for things we can’t control, will block us from our dreams”

Hate will transport us to a land far far away that resembles hell. Hell is where your nightmares come true, your fears are born and the person you become is something you despise for eternity.

 

4. Love is the best feeling in the world

There are lots of types of love but no matter what; love is the best feeling in the world. When you choose love your life seems extraordinary. You feel like you are on cloud nine and nothing can stop you. Love helps you to connect with your fellow human beings on an entirely different level.

Your success in life compounds because love attracts everything you could ever want in your life. You can’t be pissed off at the world when love is your default choice.

Love is what brings us closer together. Love is what creates human life through the coming together of a man and women. Love is what lights us up and fuels our intuition. Seek out love and you’ll know what it feels like to be invincible. If the worst happens, and a young baby close to you is killed, you’ll have all the answers.

 

5. Choose love by giving love

The best gift you can give while you’re alive is love. It costs nothing, but it takes every part of you to give. If a tragedy like the one described above occurs, you have the opportunity to give love.

When you do so, and you go through a difficult time, love finds its way back into your life. Choosing love is the beginner level: giving love is the expert level.

There are so many ways to give love. You could:

– Hug someone
– Do something nice for someone
– Write something beautiful to someone
– Be there for someone who is going through a tough time
– Smile at someone who looks down

The list is endless. Love is endless. Your capacity to give love is endless. What comes into your life can also be endless when you choose love. Think about that for a minute.

 

6. Love can cause a deranged man or women to see the light

 

If you talked to a terrorist and told them that you loved them, what would happen? While I don’t know for sure, what I do know is that there is a possibility you could interrupt their pattern. Part of the reason they do what they do is that they haven’t felt love.

Because they lack love in their life, they have adopted a set of false beliefs in the hope that this will fill the void they feel, due to the lack of love they’ve experienced.

 

“Terrorists, criminals and people on drugs, all have one thing in common: they need to be shown what love is so they can conquer the fear that’s been controlling their life – the fear that’s driven them to madness and to harm people”

 

***Final thought***

It’s time to wake up and stand for love. It’s what we were born to do. It takes no effort when we try it. Love can save us from just about anything. Love is about understanding that we are all on the same mission and that ultimately we are all part of the same cause and the same existence.

When you understand the idea of love, your consciousness goes to another level. People may begin to think that you’ve transcended their reality and that you have loads of wisdom. What’s really happened is that you’ve discovered the most powerful force on Earth: LOVE.

RIP to the young mothers baby. Love will transcend everything and bring you happiness again. I hope you can find it in your hearts to one day forgive the mean that caused you so much pain. Show him the love that he’s been lacking so desperately.

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Success Advice

5 Unusual Productivity Tips From Famous Procrastinators

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procrastination

Do you often procrastinate? Are you doing it now by reading this article? If yes – awesome, continue reading.

Most of us consider procrastination the biggest troublemaker and productivity killer. You see it as a vice, consequently, you try to overcome its effects, kill the procrastination beast and cheat with all the possible means.

But what if it’s not quite so? What if procrastination can virtually lead to productivity? Have you ever thought about this aspect? Many outstanding productive people, in fact, were chronic procrastinators. How did they manage to achieve success? What tips did successful people use to beat procrastination?

Here are five unusual tips from hard-core procrastinators that will help you boost your productivity level:

1. Victor Hugo: Lock away your clothes

The author of Les Misérables, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and many more tremendously famous novels was beating procrastination with the most extraordinary and radical means. One episode from his life is the most illustrative here.

Hugo started writing The Hunchback of Notre Dame quite close to the deadline – in the fall of 1830. While the deadline was in February 1831. His preparation was thorough, but he did not feel like writing. Thus, he did something that didn’t leave a choice – he got naked and locked away his clothes.

The aim of all that was to avoid temptations of going outside. Hugo had nothing to wear but a shawl. And for many months, this rag (as his wife claimed) was his daily uniform. Did it work? Absolutely. He finished the book weeks before the actual deadline.

2. Gerhard Richter: Create a crisis

Gerhard Richter, world known German artist and procrastinator, got millions with his paintings. For example, Abstrakis Bild was sold for $20,802,500 at Sotheby’s.  How did he manage to procrastinate and, at the same time, complete paintings of photos, abstracts, “blur” photo paintings, and many more works of art?

It’s striking that he actually wastes time on garden and not on his paintings. In one of the interviews, Richter described his daily routines:  “I could spend my life arranging things. Weeks go by, and I don’t paint until finally I can’t stand it any longer. I get fed up. I almost don’t want to talk about it, because I don’t want to become self-conscious about it, but perhaps I create these little crises as a kind of a secret strategy to push myself.

It is a danger to wait around for an idea to occur to you. You have to find the idea.” Thus, his secret strategy to become more productive is a simple crisis.

“Chance determines our lives in important ways.” – Gerhard Richter

3. Bill Clinton: Take criticism seriously, not personally

The 42nd president of the United States, Bill Clinton, was described as a “chronic procrastinator” by Time magazine. Could you believe that a two-time Grammy winner may be addicted to postponing? Clinton had weeks or sometimes months to make comments on the drafts of his speeches, but, eventfully, it all ended with cut-and-paste in the end.

Even his Vice President Al Gore called Clinton “punctually challenged”. However, despite all the criticism, he managed to never give up. The key secret to productivity is the way you perceive criticism, according to Bill Clinton. If you take it too personally, you won’t be able to resist the feeling of deficiency that finally leads to the inferiority complex. Therefore, keep your cool when you are criticized. Then, you have more chances to stay productive.

4. Franz Kafka: Try to wake up the night productivity

The Czech writer worked as an insurance clerk and it was the time to existential thinking. The novelist though didn’t put his ideas into action. After Kafka had been promoted, he had more time and procrastination infected him for good.

His routine day after work, as he mentioned it on one of his letters, looked like this: “Lunch till 3:30 … sleep until 7:30 … ten minutes of exercises, naked at the open window … an hour’s walk … then dinner with my family.” There is nothing about writing though. When did he actually write? Beginning from approximately 11 p.m. and continuing up to 6 a.m. Not the perfect system, for sure, but that’s was the most productive time for Kafka. It appears that he spent most of the daytime napping.

“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

5. Leonardo Da Vinci: Start several things at a time and make notes

An artist, mathematician, sculptor, writer, inventor, military engineer, Leonardo Da Vinci, is an outstanding figure in history. But despite the success he achieved, he was never focused on one thing at a time.

During his lifetime, he managed to complete only 20 paintings. The Virgin of the Rocks took him 13 years to put the final changes.  While his most illustrious work The Mona Lisa – as many as 16 years. The reason for that was his multi-tasking capacity. He was an incredibly broad-minded and all-round personality with so many genius plans. To improve a willpower, he had a rule book where he had more than 7,000 pages of notes.

His procrastination wasn’t already a secret for his benefactors. And some of them threatened him with bankruptcy in order to have his work done at last.

What if procrastination can be a way to extreme productivity and perfectionism? And still, you have structured procrastination as an option and a solution.

Would you use any of these tips to boost productivity flows? Comment below!
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Success Advice

The Lie That Is My Overnight Success

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I started writing unprofessionally three years ago. Some would say my whole career is unprofessional and I’d agree. Imperfection is damn sexy though.

I began writing only because my mentor Joel Brown said I should and I stupidly said yes without knowing why. Now, of course, I’m crystal clear about why I write: it’s to inspire. I remember uploading articles to Addicted2Success.com and seeing no one like them. I remember thinking I was a failure.

In the early days, I was writing articles about entrepreneurs I had interviewed and I wasn’t that passionate about it. Every article felt like really hard work and it required an incredible amount of willpower. Everyone at the time was doing entrepreneur interviews and there was nothing special.

Then one day, I wrote an article for the fun of it that had nothing to do with anything. It was essentially a brain fart that I concocted after dinner, late one night. It took less than one hour to write and it was written with passion. The words came out of me without even trying.

Since that day, the words have continued to pour out of me in the same way. I get into a state of flow and then it happens. Words appear, people get inspired and we all have one big party that has been named “life.” From the day I wrote that article, thousands of people shared it and they still do today.

 

I didn’t stop

After my big moment on the internet going viral, everything stopped. The tumbleweed that drifted through the desert with an eerie silence continued. Everything calmed down and people stopped caring again.

I didn’t stop though because I found my writing therapeutical.

“My blog posts became like my own personal journey and it was a way for me to escape from the Alcatraz that was my head. This prison that lived inside my head kept telling me that no one cared and I’d never be successful.”

I decided to keep finding ways to break out of Alcatraz and check in to the Ritz Hotel that was me becoming a conscious, passionate, crazy online leader.

 

I stopped giving a damn

Over the next eighteen months, I kept writing every moment I got. No one paid attention but I did. I started paying attention to the shift that was happening inside of me. The leader that had always been stuck inside of me started to unleash.

The things that used to hold me back disappeared. I didn’t give two hoots about what anyone thought and I only cared about inspiring those who wanted to be inspired. I worked my butt off and started waking up at 4 am to post new blog articles. People couldn’t understand how I had the time to write working a full-time job.

The part they didn’t get was that because the words flowed out of me so easily, it didn’t take that long at all to write something of value. People watched me posting articles and thought I was crazy. They thought what I was doing was career suicide in the big bad world of corporate politics.

I never liked politics anyway, so I stuck my middle finger up at the way things were traditionally done. I decided to be a rebel writer and live my dream. I continued to make no money and people kept on questioning what I was doing.

 

I believed

A few people believed, but most didn’t. What stuck out like tomato sauce on a freshly dry cleaned white shirt was that I believed and that’s all that mattered. I saw something that no one else could see: my real potential versus my current success.

I had the motivation to continue on when no one cared because I believed I could change the world. I saw myself as someone who had the potential to serve millions of people online. I kept telling myself never to give up and I also spread the same message throughout everything I wrote.

“I thought my writing was going to save everybody else, but what it really did is save myself”

My writing saved me from living a life without meaning and it helped me discover who I really was. I saw the pattern between every goal I’d ever had: to inspire and evoke emotion from strangers.

This clarity fuelled me and I became relentless. I reached out to every blogger, leader and person that had done cool stuff that inspired me. Originally I thought they’d all ignore me: none of them did. See when you have energy and passion oozing out of you, people can’t say no. An unwavering belief in what you’re doing is all that matters.

 

The tipping point happened

I began to see a change when each day I started to get a message from a reader/fan. It started as one message per day, then two, then three. Now I get more messages of support every day than I have time to read. Success often doesn’t become a reality in a single moment.

Success is something that is hard to measure in the early days until one giant moment happens that everyone sees. The part no one sees is the many smaller moments that happened beforehand. The small successes that may not have looked like a textbook example of “success.”

 

That big day finally came

So the big day happened when an article I wrote went viral. This was the third time it had happened, although this time the success became permanent. All those years, when I thought no one was reading, people were. What had occurred was that they were too scared to show they were reading because my success was still largely unproven.

It was only after the big success moment that people felt it was okay to come out of the metaphorical closet and say they were inspired by what I was doing. All those nights spent locked away in my office being anti-social was worth it. All those cups of green tea, takeaway meals, indoor plants, and weird emails to myself with possible headlines for articles had meant something.

More publications reached out to me and pretty soon I wasn’t just writing for Addicted2Success; I was writing for the biggest sites on the entire internet. The ones where the editors get pitched one hundred times a day by people who want to do nothing more than self-promote and build a BS “personal brand.”

Before I knew it, I was getting offered book deals, business opportunities, podcast interviews and public speaking gigs. I took some but ignored most. I remembered what was important and the fact that unwavering focus had got me to where I was.

I knew I was ready for some opportunities and not for others like public speaking. The journey had begun, but I was far from the summit of the mountain of my dreams.

 

Nothing changed

Strangely, though, it was all one ginormous anti-climax moment. Nothing had changed. Even today nothing has changed. I still want to inspire people and I still like sharing stories. I still want to live with passion and I still want to create a meaning for my life that outlives me.

What has changed is that people have seen my success as something that’s happened recently – what total BS that is. It’s taken my entire existence to discover the meaning of my life, find a medium to share it on and go after it with relentless optimism.

 

What you didn’t see with my success

You didn’t see the person that existed before all of this. You didn’t see the selfish, rude, arrogant, brat who lived for material possessions and felt like he was entitled to success because he grew up in Australia, the land of the free. I can say those horrible things because I’m talking about myself. Thankfully that’s the opposite of who I am now.

You didn’t see the transformation that occurred after that one big rock bottom moment. When everything made no sense and I had to look inside of myself to crawl out of that black hole that had become my existence. You didn’t see me step out of the darkness and into the light.

All you saw was me in the light and assumed I had always been there shining away brightly, and living the good life that is passion and purpose. How wrong that lie is. How wrong the whole concept of overnight success is.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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