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Success Advice

The Uncomfortable Truth Of What Is Keeping You From Success

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reason why losing success how to achieve more success

Do you really want to know what is keeping your from success?

Really, really?

Because it’s not a lack of productivity apps or time management skills…

It’s not even those customers that aren’t calling you back, those friends who are not supportive or those colleagues that never seem to listen to you…

I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.

But it’s you!

Here’s why:

 

1. You’re Not Clear On What Success Really Is

I’ve been interviewed for a popular magazine in the Netherlands when I was a student and it was all about what we wanted out of life after our studies. I’m caught on print that all I wanted was to have an amazing, well-paid job, a big house and a car to go with it. 6 Years later I find myself in a big fancy office filled with highly achieving consultants where I drove to in my big fancy car from my big fancy house being incredibly jealous of the guy who waters the plants because he’s obviously a lot more HAPPY with his life and work than I am.

Having a clear vision on what success is to you is a basic necessity; how else are you going to know that you’re heading in the right direction and if you indeed ARE successful?

But make sure your vision grows and evolves along with you in life.

 

2. You’re Not Listening To Your Gut

Us human beings are a fascinating bunch; instinctively we almost always know what’s right or wrong for us but we hardly ever listen to those instincts and do the wrong things anyway. The reasons for this could fill an entire library but the effect of it is that we waste our time and energy on things that are not in line with our core vision and are therefore keeping us from success.

Listening to your gut and acting on it demands you to be very brave. It means that you’ll have to say no to opportunities and people even when that puts you at risk of being unpopular or even not profitable in the short-term. But it’s authentic, and in the end, that’s the only way to success.

And not listening…that will keep you nice and safe in your comfort zone. You know, the place where you’ll very likely NOT achieve the things you want to.

 

3. Your Ambition Is In The Way

Who is your big hero, entrepreneurial or otherwise? Do you just look up to them and learn from them or do you want to be exactly like them?

There’s a big difference! It’s great to have people to look up to and learn from, especially in this day and age where so many inspirational stories are shared. We learn that we’re not alone in our struggles on the path to success and we learn how to recognize and not fall in to the pitfalls these people have.

But what if you want to be exactly like them? What if you’re not happy until you’ve achieved the same as they have?

Personally, I can’t seem to shake the ambition of being a combination of Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama and Angelina Jolie and am not happy until I get the same recognition they get…

Yeah, that’s never gonna happen!

Not because I don’t deserve that recognition or am anything less than they are but simply because I’M NOT THEM.

But it does limit my behavior and level of courage at times…

We all have our own lives, paths and characters and can be extremely successful in our own rights, but we’re keeping ourselves small if we keep comparing ourselves to others.

 

4. You Can’t See What You’ve Already Achieved

At what point will you be able to look at yourself and your business and be happy with what you’ve achieved?

Most of us can’t. Most of us have this continuously lingering thought in the back of our heads that tells us that it (and we) are still ‘not good enough’…

It’s both the comparison of ourselves to others and an ancient imprint in our brain that compels us to always be something bigger and better than we are. It’s evolution and simply in our DNA.

But it’s not really useful is it? What’s the point of working this hard and actually achieving all this success but not enjoying it for what it is?

Rand Fishkin, founder of Moz wrote this beautiful post about his depression. He says that he feels guilty for the mistakes he’s made and that he has put his company at risk. But facts are that they’ve never been at any real risk, at least not more than any other business. Another fact is that pretty much everyone responding in the comments, including his colleagues, disagrees with him and tells him there’s no guilt necessary.

I think Rand is a superhero for sharing his story but it goes to show how deep these self-deprecating thoughts go even when someone clearly IS successful.

Sometimes…there’s nothing keeping us from success. Sometimes, we’re already there but just not able to see it.

 

Not sure if you’re holding yourself back in any way? Answer these questions:

–       Do you really know what success looks like for YOU?

–       Do you always listen to – and act on – your instincts?

–       Does the awesomeness of [insert name] keep you from even trying?

–       Could it be that you’re already there? Hint: listen to the people close to you!

 

Dreaming big, having huge ambitions and always aiming for growth and improvement are all essential for success and great characteristics for anyone that thinks of themselves as a personal leader.

But don’t let them become their own pitfalls.

 

Believe in yourself and be happy quote

Linda Coussement is a life coach, writer and documentary maker. She’s slowly travelling the world asking all sorts of people: “How is it to be you?” Get her 10-page workbook on how to turn your dreams into practical reality right here and/or connect with her on Facebook.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. J williams

    Oct 26, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    Why is it that I do my best to reach the top of the mountain, yet keep slipping down. If I was not meant to reach it in my life, why is it I think big thoughts I expect the best in everything. I do the best I give the best and I go the extra mile, rising at 5am each morning and pushing my boundaries to the limits.

    My husband tells me I should get a “real job” and stop dreaming, and live in the real World!! REALLY!! I’ve had the so called real jobs after job and job and moresome, yet I know “this real job thing is not meant for me.

    Growing my self employed business from 0-987 clients within 18 months, yet still an empty space, that is yearning to get to the top of the mountain that I so deserve, why do I think I deserve it? I read books that tell me it is my blue print ? is it, I read more books its because its the way that I think! is it. I only know my heart aches to reach the summit and breath this air as others do. I am a positive upbeat, determined lady, that knows I was born to have the best or I would have a so called “real job” “That’s my thinking”

    Inventing a product from the air and onto the market even pitching to 5 dragons and many sales in the UK I thought I was nearer my summit, yet The avalanche that hit me, took me back to the bottom again.

    Dusting myself down and telling myself again and moresome “If I was meant to settle for just being comfortable why oh why do I have big rich thoughts?? I ask God what is my purpose, why do I think different?

    • Emily Filloramo

      Jan 5, 2015 at 12:04 am

      J,
      For the most part, the reason why people go to the peak and then plummet down again is because they have parts of them that are stuck in the past (the “wounded” child) that does not believe they deserve to have the money and success. These limiting beliefs were acquired at the time of significant negative emotional experiences. (This could be as simple as being bullied at school.)

      These parts are the blind spots that are in all of us that hold us back from getting and KEEPING health, wealth, awesome relationships and/or happiness.

      I wrote an article for this blog on “8 Reasons Why Nothing Seems to Make You Happy” https://addicted2success.com/life/8-reasons-why-nothing-ever-seems-to-make-you-happy/ that explains some of these concepts. Hope this helps in understanding what could be keeping you stuck from sustaining wealth.

      I also have a book coming out this April that explains more of this in-depth. (“How to Permanently Erase Negative Self-Talk So You Can Soar.”)

  2. ian

    Oct 2, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    I just want to add I read theses articles when life is not going well for me so I can get motivated again. I have no job at the moment.I have signed up on two courses to better myself also I,am back working out in the gym.A big one for me is in one of joels articles was why are you not reaching your potential are you out drinking partying every weekend that was me,I have stopped going out drinking and I have put that money away for courses to better myself bought myself clothes,Its A start for me this Is just the beginning believe me.

    • Linda Coussement (@lindacoussement)

      Oct 3, 2014 at 3:17 pm

      Thank you for sharing Ian! Great to read that you are taking the steps towards your own vision and the potential you carry in yourself. It’s really hard! It’s easy to get lost in all the things that make us forget that we’re not in a good place (for me it’s chocolate and binge watching tv shows 🙂 ) but you’re right, it starts with believing in yourself first and taking all the little babysteps you need to get there.

      Things I can recommend: coursera.com for free university courses and google for Udemy coupons to also find free and often really good and practical courses. Another blog you might like is jamesaltucher.com. He talks openly about all the setbacks he has had and caused himself; it’s really inspiring!

      Great job so far and all the best with moving forward!

  3. Rob

    Sep 29, 2014 at 8:37 am

    “Your ambition is in the way” I honestly never thought that this might be holding us back….Very cool article!

  4. Rahul Patil

    Sep 27, 2014 at 8:43 am

    its Hard-Hitting article..wakeup call for me !
    Thank u..Linda

  5. C&P

    Sep 26, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Don’t apologize for telling people the truth. They will thank you for it one day

    • Linda Coussement (@lindacoussement)

      Sep 29, 2014 at 9:23 am

      I like that! Some people will not get it – not ever I’m afraid – but it’s not about those people. It’s about the ones who can see your truth and, perhaps even more important, that we can see it ourselves!

  6. Granville Louw

    Sep 26, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Great Article Linda.

    Valuable points you mentioning.

    I also agree with you, We do sometimes keeps ourselves from becoming successful. I think people DO know what success is, or at least have an idea, but what keeps them from reaching their goals and dreams is their beliefs, fear, laziness and procrastination.

    .

    • Linda Coussement (@lindacoussement)

      Sep 26, 2014 at 4:17 pm

      Hey Granville, thanks for the compliment! Laziness and procrastination often come from those same beliefs and fears; fear of failure and all the potential consequences that stem from that can suck the energy right out of you. I often find it hard to see it as such when I’m in my lazy days/weeks but I’ve learned that that time is usually just necessary to get me over that scary hurdle. At least it is for me 🙂

  7. Adrian

    Sep 25, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    You only have to belive you can do it. Nothing is stronger that strong mind and hard work. !!!

  8. Mike Sutton (@BeBuildHave)

    Sep 24, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    I love this article. Thanks so much for sharing, Linda!

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Success Advice

What If You Never Took Another Selfie Again?

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That’s the question I want you to ponder right now.

What if taking a selfie only made the world ignore you?
What if life is not all about you?
What if no one cares who you took a photo with?

And finally, how did we ever live without selfies before the front-facing camera got invented?

Instead of taking a selfie do this:

Try focusing on other people.
Try not to document every moment.
Try to think about life before selfies.

We all take selfies because that’s what we were told to do.
And that’s exactly why we need to question this habitual flaw that we’re now indulging in.

 

I have A/B tested selfies vs. no selfies.

The result? When I took photos of cool stuff like mountains in Japan and shared a profound thought, people liked that more than a selfie with my overly large head in it. I’ve done this test multiple times over the last few years.

The result is always the same. People are over you and your selfies.

 

It’s not about “I” it’s about “We.”

Sounds cliché, and that’s because most brilliant advice is.

Selfies have deluded us into thinking that life is about us and our big audacious goals. Where life will change for you is when you focus on the “We.”

Everything I write is for the audience I want to inspire. It’s not to show off or to share dumb selfies of me in a weak attempt to appear superior.

 

Selfies cause your followers to compare themselves to you.

And that’s not fair. If each of us tried to be the same, then society would be pretty dull.

“We don’t need a selfie to teach us how to copy each other and be jealous little so-and-sos who want to win a beauty pagan of nothingness”

You’re so much better than a selfie.

I believe you care about your followers so let’s stop drowning them in selfies. Selfies are proving nothing to no one. Selfies stop you from standing out in the crowd and inspiring others.

 

The time you spend “selfieing” could be used for…..

Enjoying this current moment and the breath you have in your lungs. One day that breath is going to stop and all that time selfieing won’t matter. You’re literally using up magical moments trying to take a hundred selfies that you filter and post, hoping for perfection.

Perfection is ugly.

“Right now, is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen if you’ll only stop selfieing and notice it”

 

Life before selfies….

Life was much the same. The selfie didn’t put us on Cloud 9 with a bunch of our fantasies and an unlimited amount of cash being shot up into the sky via an air cannon.

Life before selfies was fun.
We ate our food instead of looking at it with our phones and letting it get cold.
We had phenomenal conversations with our friends instead of taking endless, mindless selfies.

Life before selfies was not about one’s self.
You took photos of other people. Often, you took two photos max instead of fifty in a row.

I’d like you to imagine a life without selfies.

What does the selfie really mean to you and can you live without it?

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Success Advice

Build From Within – Why Success Is All About People

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happy team

What is it that makes a company successful? Money? Technology? A driven CEO? While money certainly doesn’t hurt, technology is essential and it’s nice to have a well poised leader. These things are not what guarantees success in a corporation. It is all about the people. The employees working for an organization are the backbone of the company. Without great people, success can only go so far.

And if this is indeed true, successful business models should revolve around people – attracting top talent, and retaining them. Before ever serving external customers, companies should serve internally. This is where true success is built.

Walid Halty, founder of Dvinci energy, explains 3 reasons as to why people are the bottom line of success and how to build a team for continued growth:

1. Success Comes From Within

How do you continuously create an impeccable experience for your customers? While you may start listing out things such as innovation, efficient delivery and quality, you’d be wrong. All of those factors are quite necessary to attract and retain happy clients. At the same time, you never have to worry about any of that if you have a dedicated and talented team behind your organization or business. When your employees are happy with their work and love what they do, they automatically do great work every single day.

So, how do you get dedicated and talented individuals in your business, and how do you retain them? Dedicated and talented people all share a couple commonalities. They love to be challenged, and they love to grow. You need to challenge your people and give them opportunities to grow: “We have a culture that demands the best out of people. We offer them world class training and give opportunities for growth within our company. We invest in our people: ”Challenge and grow your people, and they will challenge and grow your business.

2. A Balancing Act

Gone are the 12 hour work days and good riddance! There is a new reality in the interconnected and digital world that we live in today. That reality is that there is an abundance of opportunity for anyone who strives for it. People don’t want to miss soccer games, dance recitals and family dinner time. They want balance. They want to do fulfilling, good work at a place where they feel valued, engaged and share a common vision. If this is not the case, then they will be willing to explore other opportunities if they don’t get exactly what they’re looking for.

“Your people don’t need your company’s way of making money, they need a community that creates purpose and order in their lives and an environment that empowers them rather than tries to hold them down out of fear.”

Find out what your people want and then do your best to give it to them. Flexible programs like remote work and adjustable schedules go a long way in making your employees happy and bringing balance: “At Dvinci, we consistently ask our people, what can we be doing better? How can we better serve you? How do WE make doing your job easier?”

You have to care about your people and what they experience on a daily basis when they come to work for you. Deliver a positive people experience, and you will retain your top talent, and they will share your vision and your success.

3. Happiness is a Choice

Emotions are at the root of all the decisions we make. We make hundreds of choices a day, and we make those decisions based off what we think will make us happy. They are why our customers buy from us, and it is why our employees stay with us. We all want to operate in a world (and a place of work) where we have the ability to control our happiness and improve our lives. This simple truth is one of the foundations companies should build their business models around.

Give your people a choice. Allow them to make decisions on how successful they want to be, how much money they want to earn, and what kind of impact they want to have based on what they believe will make them happy. Put the ball in their court. Allow your people to decide to be happy. By doing this, your top talent will excel and your employees will be happy.

“When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.” – Simon Sinek

In case you’ve ever been curious about how to make your business more profitable, more innovative or have a bigger impact, the answer lies within. Serve your people first. Build a community of inspired, engaged and talented employees.

Build your business model around people. The rest will fall into place naturally. When you focus on people, they will care about your business, they will care about your mission and they will care about your customers.

Do you think building from within will equal more success? Share your thoughts with us below!

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Success Advice

You Need To Be Real And Authentic, I’m Sorry – Here’s How.

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With me, there are no games.
There’s no fakery.
What you see is what you get.

It’s taken a long time to get to this level of authenticity. I don’t tell you I’m real to brag; I tell you because you can be too. The reality is you need to be if you want the good life.

 

Your individuality is what’s real.

If you’re into comic magazines, tell us. If you’re into punk rock, then that’s great too. Your individuality is what brings out your authenticity. It’s what makes you different and it’s how we can learn a different set of lessons from the ones our own life teaches us.

Sometimes I watch those reality TV shows that show off musical talent. As a grown man, that might sound weird…. who cares. It’s what makes up who I am.

“Hiding who you are only damages your true purpose and the value you can deliver to the world”

We need to see who you are so we can find ourselves. Loud and proud is the best way to live. That’s why I voted for gay marriage because I don’t ever want anyone to hide who they truly are.

 

I’m not out there to become famous.

That’s what makes each of us real. The moment we chase fame, we become lost in a game that we can never win. We’ll never be the most famous.

Fame is not what it’s cracked up to be. It’s designed to make you someone you’re not. You’re supposed to be perfect because all of a sudden, you’re now a role model. The thing is that role models mess up too.

Authenticity comes from not giving a F and trading in fame for being real instead.

I don’t spend half my day on social media trying to make you feel bad through my content. My goal is to use the lessons from my life to inspire yours.

 

I’m only competing against yesterday’s version of me.

“Beating you is not my goal; helping you win is”

The only person I want to beat is yesterday’s version of myself. I want to beat yesterday’s version so I can deliver more of my authentic self today. Increasing the value of my advice and life experience is all that I’m about. With this tool, I can give more. Who are you competing with?

 

I’m not afraid.

I’m not afraid to tell you I don’t have a blue Lambo – only a model car one.
I’m not afraid to tell you I get scared when I do public speaking.
I’m not afraid to tell you that I wish I could always be young.
I’m not afraid to tell you I got my first grey hair the other day.

If you ask me how to be authentic, it starts with being vulnerable and sharing things. The same fears you have are in common with many of us.

“Your deepest fear is my deepest fear. So, let’s share those fears and help each other crush them”

Life doesn’t need to be a solo journey. Show up being real, authentic and wearing your fears on the outside.

 

I’m not about the high life.

The Benz or the Bimmer is not who I am. I write these words in my office with a lava lamp turned on. I’m kind of old school in that way.

Instead of the fake high life, I put my soul into these words I write. Authenticity can buy you the high life, but once you’ve lived a life that is real, you won’t be that interested in gold chains and diamond rings.

On the surface, loads of cash seems appealing. The reality, having lived it, is that I’m my most authentic without all of the distractions and materials possessions. These things take away my focus and stop me from seeing my vision.

I don’t ever want you to lose sight of your vision which is why I remind you of the perils of money so much. Once you get over six figures, it’s all the same mostly. Money doesn’t make you real.

 

Authenticity breeds a killer network.

Cutting out the fake life and being authentic has bought the same kind of people to my life. People that are real, I’ve found, tend to be successful in the true sense. They’re fun to be around and they’re loyal like a puppy dog.

Your network around you will inspire you towards your goal or distract you from that which you seek. People are naturally attracted to people that are real and you can be that way with discipline. Avoid bragging (although celebrate your wins) and say what’s on your mind.

 

Authenticity requires no validation.

You just do it by being honest. Being real is about being honest with the world, and most of all, yourself. Ditch the habit of lying and you’ll get rich on the life you’ve always wanted. No one has to give you permission to be real.

Try saying what you think with respect.

I did so via my blogging and it turns out people can learn from you when you’re real.

 

Final Thought

I’ve given you a ton of reasons to be authentic. No more excuses.

Be who you were always meant to be.
Who you know you can be.
Who you know you should be.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

A Timeline That Shows How To Find Yourself.

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March 2009

I had just bought my dream car, was making loads of cash and chicks thought the fact I was a DJ and Music Producer was cool. My ego was big, I’d never given to a charity or volunteered for anything and I loved to talk my mouth off at anyone who questioned me.

At this point, I had no idea who I was. I honestly believed I could end up discovering drugs and losing myself.

 

June 2011

Nothing had changed except the business I had spent five years creating died.

Along with the death of what I thought was going to be my entire life, and my one big success. Rock bottom came quickly. I couldn’t face the world. I thought I was a failure that would never recover and would work some $15 an hour job for the rest of my life.

At this point, I was even further away from finding myself. The money had gone to my head.

 

April 2013

I’d spent the last two years reading every self-help book and watching lots of Ted Talks. I was more self-aware but still had no idea what I was doing. The fear I had in my life combined with the anxiety was crippling. My health started to fall off a cliff.

Through all of this self-help content, somehow, I discovered Tony Robbins. I went to his seminar by flying 45 minutes to another state of Australia. Flying was a massive fear and I thought I was going to die mid-air.

I got to the seminar and within minutes felt stupid. It seemed like some sort of cult where you drank the cool-aid and then gave your life (literally) at the end.

By that night, I was walking on fire and had a major breakthrough.

At this point, I still had not found myself, but I’d discovered a catalyst for the discovery to begin.

 

June 2014 (roughly I forget what month)

A mate shares a link to a blog called Addicted2Success. The name of the website gets my attention. On the bottom of the site is a phone number which I ring. I talk to the founder’s girlfriend, get the correct mobile number, fly to Perth with no meeting booked, and call him.

He meets me for coffee. There’s no agenda and no topic of conversation. I offer him something for free that he wants and then he asks me to write for his blog. I’ve never written anything professionally and the word ‘writer’ appears lame.

At this point, I had an opportunity but still had no idea who I was.

 

March 2015

My first blog post goes viral and I experience some success. It feels good. The success becomes the validation that I can be a blogger and inspire the world through personal development and entrepreneurship.

I believed in myself before this moment through the self-improvement work but this success compounded the results and my own belief.

At this point, a glimpse of who I was started to shine through. It was satisfying.

 

April 2015

I go to the doctor for a routine check after a few stomach aches, and he sends me to the hospital. While asleep for a few hours, the surgeon finds a lump the size of a golf ball in my guts which was months away from being cancerous.

My whole life changes. Nothing else matters. I begin feeling the following:

– What is my purpose in life?
– Will I be single forever?
– What will be my legacy once I’m gone?
– How can I give back and create more joy?
– Could I inspire millions of people?

These five questions changed everything. These questions were how I began to discover my true self.

 

January 2016

More publications wanted me to write for them. I did and as a result, had more viral blog posts. The daily emails of thank you’s was overwhelming. Inspiring others through my two passions of entrepreneurship and personal development became the pillar of everything I did.

At the same time, I also started crushing my fear of public speaking. This gave me the confidence boost I needed to believe in myself and to continue to discover who I wanted to be.

 

2018 and beyond

I learned the following:

– You’ll never know what will be the catalyst that will change your life
– The things you think you’ll never do, you will
– Once you understand the power of time and legacy through a near-death experience, you’ll never live life the same way again
– Whatever you find your true to self to be, you’ll end up giving back in some way

 

Finding yourself is a lifelong journey.

That’s right! You never arrive. You’re always going to evolve.

What I’ve learned is that once you know who you are and it’s tied to some meaningful purpose – like inspiring millions of people online – the rest will take care of itself.

“It’s the discovery process and being prepared to try new things that will help you uncover that purpose”

Nothing is static. Suffering is guaranteed. In the end, finding yourself is fun when you look back. Thinking about all my ridiculous fears and mistakes makes me laugh. Without them, though, I’d never be who I am today.

And I now know that tomorrow’s potential is created by what you do today.

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Motivation

Embrace The Suck.

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Embrace the Suck

I suck at spreadsheets.
I suck at maths because numbers do my head in.
I suck at attending meetings because I just want action.

You will suck at your first blog post.
You will suck at your first startup, and the one after that, and so on.
You will suck at giving your first speech.

We all suck 24/7.

None of us are 100% motivated all the time.
None of us get anything right the first time – unless it’s a fluke.

We all have nightmares of our failures.
We all secretly want to be perfect – even me.

 

It’s time to embrace the suck.

A lot about life F*cking sucks hard.

My #EmbraceTheSuck story (thanks Sina Fak for the idea) was failing at high school and dropping out. After a break, I went back and finished high school, and the only subjects I excelled at were music and English.

Even though the headmaster told me I’d always be a no good, punk a$$, drop out, I proved him wrong.

I used my expertise in English to become a blogger and that’s why I’m writing these words to you right now.

I failed in the short-term, but by persevering at school, it eventually led me to right now. I could have done nothing and become a bum. I could have listened to my headmaster and agreed with him.

I knew that I was destined to do something big and I believe the movement I’m creating right now is part of my crazy goal to change the world.

All of us can succeed when we embrace the suck and persevere.

“We can listen to our critics or we can lift the middle finger at them and keep going”

Making it through the suck made me smarter, more courageous and it helped me build a newfound resilience.

 

How do we embrace the suck?

1. Be prepared to fail.
2. Look like an idiot.
3. Be willing to start at the bottom
4. Persevere
5. Challenge the critics

When everything sucks, get back up.
Have a second go even if there’s no reason too.
Back yourself and believe you can push through the suck.

 

Embrace the suck is a call to action.

It’s about being prepared to eat sh*t because the upside makes it worth it. It’s about doing what so many are not prepared to do because you believe in yourself.

It’s about taking action and executing instead of being a daydreamer and being stuck in a foreplay of ideas, dreams, goals that never happen.

Starting at the bottom and sucking harder is how you get to the top.

Once you arrive at the top, make sure you help other people who are embracing the suck.

Let’s all commit to doing more things that suck and being okay with it. Let’s challenge each other to be courageous.

If I can go from being a high school dropout to making something of myself, then why the heck can’t you?

Embrace the suck because that’s what the people you idolize and anyone you’ve ever looked up to did.

Embracing the suck is part of life.

“Hello, adversity. Come at me!”

 

One day you’ll look back on all the sucky moments and be proud.

That’s the cherry on top of the cake right there.

That is all the motivation you need to embrace the suck.

 

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. J williams

    Oct 26, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    Why is it that I do my best to reach the top of the mountain, yet keep slipping down. If I was not meant to reach it in my life, why is it I think big thoughts I expect the best in everything. I do the best I give the best and I go the extra mile, rising at 5am each morning and pushing my boundaries to the limits.

    My husband tells me I should get a “real job” and stop dreaming, and live in the real World!! REALLY!! I’ve had the so called real jobs after job and job and moresome, yet I know “this real job thing is not meant for me.

    Growing my self employed business from 0-987 clients within 18 months, yet still an empty space, that is yearning to get to the top of the mountain that I so deserve, why do I think I deserve it? I read books that tell me it is my blue print ? is it, I read more books its because its the way that I think! is it. I only know my heart aches to reach the summit and breath this air as others do. I am a positive upbeat, determined lady, that knows I was born to have the best or I would have a so called “real job” “That’s my thinking”

    Inventing a product from the air and onto the market even pitching to 5 dragons and many sales in the UK I thought I was nearer my summit, yet The avalanche that hit me, took me back to the bottom again.

    Dusting myself down and telling myself again and moresome “If I was meant to settle for just being comfortable why oh why do I have big rich thoughts?? I ask God what is my purpose, why do I think different?

    • Emily Filloramo

      Jan 5, 2015 at 12:04 am

      J,
      For the most part, the reason why people go to the peak and then plummet down again is because they have parts of them that are stuck in the past (the “wounded” child) that does not believe they deserve to have the money and success. These limiting beliefs were acquired at the time of significant negative emotional experiences. (This could be as simple as being bullied at school.)

      These parts are the blind spots that are in all of us that hold us back from getting and KEEPING health, wealth, awesome relationships and/or happiness.

      I wrote an article for this blog on “8 Reasons Why Nothing Seems to Make You Happy” https://addicted2success.com/life/8-reasons-why-nothing-ever-seems-to-make-you-happy/ that explains some of these concepts. Hope this helps in understanding what could be keeping you stuck from sustaining wealth.

      I also have a book coming out this April that explains more of this in-depth. (“How to Permanently Erase Negative Self-Talk So You Can Soar.”)

  2. ian

    Oct 2, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    I just want to add I read theses articles when life is not going well for me so I can get motivated again. I have no job at the moment.I have signed up on two courses to better myself also I,am back working out in the gym.A big one for me is in one of joels articles was why are you not reaching your potential are you out drinking partying every weekend that was me,I have stopped going out drinking and I have put that money away for courses to better myself bought myself clothes,Its A start for me this Is just the beginning believe me.

    • Linda Coussement (@lindacoussement)

      Oct 3, 2014 at 3:17 pm

      Thank you for sharing Ian! Great to read that you are taking the steps towards your own vision and the potential you carry in yourself. It’s really hard! It’s easy to get lost in all the things that make us forget that we’re not in a good place (for me it’s chocolate and binge watching tv shows 🙂 ) but you’re right, it starts with believing in yourself first and taking all the little babysteps you need to get there.

      Things I can recommend: coursera.com for free university courses and google for Udemy coupons to also find free and often really good and practical courses. Another blog you might like is jamesaltucher.com. He talks openly about all the setbacks he has had and caused himself; it’s really inspiring!

      Great job so far and all the best with moving forward!

  3. Rob

    Sep 29, 2014 at 8:37 am

    “Your ambition is in the way” I honestly never thought that this might be holding us back….Very cool article!

  4. Rahul Patil

    Sep 27, 2014 at 8:43 am

    its Hard-Hitting article..wakeup call for me !
    Thank u..Linda

  5. C&P

    Sep 26, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Don’t apologize for telling people the truth. They will thank you for it one day

    • Linda Coussement (@lindacoussement)

      Sep 29, 2014 at 9:23 am

      I like that! Some people will not get it – not ever I’m afraid – but it’s not about those people. It’s about the ones who can see your truth and, perhaps even more important, that we can see it ourselves!

  6. Granville Louw

    Sep 26, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Great Article Linda.

    Valuable points you mentioning.

    I also agree with you, We do sometimes keeps ourselves from becoming successful. I think people DO know what success is, or at least have an idea, but what keeps them from reaching their goals and dreams is their beliefs, fear, laziness and procrastination.

    .

    • Linda Coussement (@lindacoussement)

      Sep 26, 2014 at 4:17 pm

      Hey Granville, thanks for the compliment! Laziness and procrastination often come from those same beliefs and fears; fear of failure and all the potential consequences that stem from that can suck the energy right out of you. I often find it hard to see it as such when I’m in my lazy days/weeks but I’ve learned that that time is usually just necessary to get me over that scary hurdle. At least it is for me 🙂

  7. Adrian

    Sep 25, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    You only have to belive you can do it. Nothing is stronger that strong mind and hard work. !!!

  8. Mike Sutton (@BeBuildHave)

    Sep 24, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    I love this article. Thanks so much for sharing, Linda!

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Success Advice

What If You Never Took Another Selfie Again?

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That’s the question I want you to ponder right now.

What if taking a selfie only made the world ignore you?
What if life is not all about you?
What if no one cares who you took a photo with?

And finally, how did we ever live without selfies before the front-facing camera got invented?

Instead of taking a selfie do this:

Try focusing on other people.
Try not to document every moment.
Try to think about life before selfies.

We all take selfies because that’s what we were told to do.
And that’s exactly why we need to question this habitual flaw that we’re now indulging in.

 

I have A/B tested selfies vs. no selfies.

The result? When I took photos of cool stuff like mountains in Japan and shared a profound thought, people liked that more than a selfie with my overly large head in it. I’ve done this test multiple times over the last few years.

The result is always the same. People are over you and your selfies.

 

It’s not about “I” it’s about “We.”

Sounds cliché, and that’s because most brilliant advice is.

Selfies have deluded us into thinking that life is about us and our big audacious goals. Where life will change for you is when you focus on the “We.”

Everything I write is for the audience I want to inspire. It’s not to show off or to share dumb selfies of me in a weak attempt to appear superior.

 

Selfies cause your followers to compare themselves to you.

And that’s not fair. If each of us tried to be the same, then society would be pretty dull.

“We don’t need a selfie to teach us how to copy each other and be jealous little so-and-sos who want to win a beauty pagan of nothingness”

You’re so much better than a selfie.

I believe you care about your followers so let’s stop drowning them in selfies. Selfies are proving nothing to no one. Selfies stop you from standing out in the crowd and inspiring others.

 

The time you spend “selfieing” could be used for…..

Enjoying this current moment and the breath you have in your lungs. One day that breath is going to stop and all that time selfieing won’t matter. You’re literally using up magical moments trying to take a hundred selfies that you filter and post, hoping for perfection.

Perfection is ugly.

“Right now, is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen if you’ll only stop selfieing and notice it”

 

Life before selfies….

Life was much the same. The selfie didn’t put us on Cloud 9 with a bunch of our fantasies and an unlimited amount of cash being shot up into the sky via an air cannon.

Life before selfies was fun.
We ate our food instead of looking at it with our phones and letting it get cold.
We had phenomenal conversations with our friends instead of taking endless, mindless selfies.

Life before selfies was not about one’s self.
You took photos of other people. Often, you took two photos max instead of fifty in a row.

I’d like you to imagine a life without selfies.

What does the selfie really mean to you and can you live without it?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

Build From Within – Why Success Is All About People

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happy team

What is it that makes a company successful? Money? Technology? A driven CEO? While money certainly doesn’t hurt, technology is essential and it’s nice to have a well poised leader. These things are not what guarantees success in a corporation. It is all about the people. The employees working for an organization are the backbone of the company. Without great people, success can only go so far.

And if this is indeed true, successful business models should revolve around people – attracting top talent, and retaining them. Before ever serving external customers, companies should serve internally. This is where true success is built.

Walid Halty, founder of Dvinci energy, explains 3 reasons as to why people are the bottom line of success and how to build a team for continued growth:

1. Success Comes From Within

How do you continuously create an impeccable experience for your customers? While you may start listing out things such as innovation, efficient delivery and quality, you’d be wrong. All of those factors are quite necessary to attract and retain happy clients. At the same time, you never have to worry about any of that if you have a dedicated and talented team behind your organization or business. When your employees are happy with their work and love what they do, they automatically do great work every single day.

So, how do you get dedicated and talented individuals in your business, and how do you retain them? Dedicated and talented people all share a couple commonalities. They love to be challenged, and they love to grow. You need to challenge your people and give them opportunities to grow: “We have a culture that demands the best out of people. We offer them world class training and give opportunities for growth within our company. We invest in our people: ”Challenge and grow your people, and they will challenge and grow your business.

2. A Balancing Act

Gone are the 12 hour work days and good riddance! There is a new reality in the interconnected and digital world that we live in today. That reality is that there is an abundance of opportunity for anyone who strives for it. People don’t want to miss soccer games, dance recitals and family dinner time. They want balance. They want to do fulfilling, good work at a place where they feel valued, engaged and share a common vision. If this is not the case, then they will be willing to explore other opportunities if they don’t get exactly what they’re looking for.

“Your people don’t need your company’s way of making money, they need a community that creates purpose and order in their lives and an environment that empowers them rather than tries to hold them down out of fear.”

Find out what your people want and then do your best to give it to them. Flexible programs like remote work and adjustable schedules go a long way in making your employees happy and bringing balance: “At Dvinci, we consistently ask our people, what can we be doing better? How can we better serve you? How do WE make doing your job easier?”

You have to care about your people and what they experience on a daily basis when they come to work for you. Deliver a positive people experience, and you will retain your top talent, and they will share your vision and your success.

3. Happiness is a Choice

Emotions are at the root of all the decisions we make. We make hundreds of choices a day, and we make those decisions based off what we think will make us happy. They are why our customers buy from us, and it is why our employees stay with us. We all want to operate in a world (and a place of work) where we have the ability to control our happiness and improve our lives. This simple truth is one of the foundations companies should build their business models around.

Give your people a choice. Allow them to make decisions on how successful they want to be, how much money they want to earn, and what kind of impact they want to have based on what they believe will make them happy. Put the ball in their court. Allow your people to decide to be happy. By doing this, your top talent will excel and your employees will be happy.

“When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.” – Simon Sinek

In case you’ve ever been curious about how to make your business more profitable, more innovative or have a bigger impact, the answer lies within. Serve your people first. Build a community of inspired, engaged and talented employees.

Build your business model around people. The rest will fall into place naturally. When you focus on people, they will care about your business, they will care about your mission and they will care about your customers.

Do you think building from within will equal more success? Share your thoughts with us below!

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Success Advice

You Need To Be Real And Authentic, I’m Sorry – Here’s How.

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With me, there are no games.
There’s no fakery.
What you see is what you get.

It’s taken a long time to get to this level of authenticity. I don’t tell you I’m real to brag; I tell you because you can be too. The reality is you need to be if you want the good life.

 

Your individuality is what’s real.

If you’re into comic magazines, tell us. If you’re into punk rock, then that’s great too. Your individuality is what brings out your authenticity. It’s what makes you different and it’s how we can learn a different set of lessons from the ones our own life teaches us.

Sometimes I watch those reality TV shows that show off musical talent. As a grown man, that might sound weird…. who cares. It’s what makes up who I am.

“Hiding who you are only damages your true purpose and the value you can deliver to the world”

We need to see who you are so we can find ourselves. Loud and proud is the best way to live. That’s why I voted for gay marriage because I don’t ever want anyone to hide who they truly are.

 

I’m not out there to become famous.

That’s what makes each of us real. The moment we chase fame, we become lost in a game that we can never win. We’ll never be the most famous.

Fame is not what it’s cracked up to be. It’s designed to make you someone you’re not. You’re supposed to be perfect because all of a sudden, you’re now a role model. The thing is that role models mess up too.

Authenticity comes from not giving a F and trading in fame for being real instead.

I don’t spend half my day on social media trying to make you feel bad through my content. My goal is to use the lessons from my life to inspire yours.

 

I’m only competing against yesterday’s version of me.

“Beating you is not my goal; helping you win is”

The only person I want to beat is yesterday’s version of myself. I want to beat yesterday’s version so I can deliver more of my authentic self today. Increasing the value of my advice and life experience is all that I’m about. With this tool, I can give more. Who are you competing with?

 

I’m not afraid.

I’m not afraid to tell you I don’t have a blue Lambo – only a model car one.
I’m not afraid to tell you I get scared when I do public speaking.
I’m not afraid to tell you that I wish I could always be young.
I’m not afraid to tell you I got my first grey hair the other day.

If you ask me how to be authentic, it starts with being vulnerable and sharing things. The same fears you have are in common with many of us.

“Your deepest fear is my deepest fear. So, let’s share those fears and help each other crush them”

Life doesn’t need to be a solo journey. Show up being real, authentic and wearing your fears on the outside.

 

I’m not about the high life.

The Benz or the Bimmer is not who I am. I write these words in my office with a lava lamp turned on. I’m kind of old school in that way.

Instead of the fake high life, I put my soul into these words I write. Authenticity can buy you the high life, but once you’ve lived a life that is real, you won’t be that interested in gold chains and diamond rings.

On the surface, loads of cash seems appealing. The reality, having lived it, is that I’m my most authentic without all of the distractions and materials possessions. These things take away my focus and stop me from seeing my vision.

I don’t ever want you to lose sight of your vision which is why I remind you of the perils of money so much. Once you get over six figures, it’s all the same mostly. Money doesn’t make you real.

 

Authenticity breeds a killer network.

Cutting out the fake life and being authentic has bought the same kind of people to my life. People that are real, I’ve found, tend to be successful in the true sense. They’re fun to be around and they’re loyal like a puppy dog.

Your network around you will inspire you towards your goal or distract you from that which you seek. People are naturally attracted to people that are real and you can be that way with discipline. Avoid bragging (although celebrate your wins) and say what’s on your mind.

 

Authenticity requires no validation.

You just do it by being honest. Being real is about being honest with the world, and most of all, yourself. Ditch the habit of lying and you’ll get rich on the life you’ve always wanted. No one has to give you permission to be real.

Try saying what you think with respect.

I did so via my blogging and it turns out people can learn from you when you’re real.

 

Final Thought

I’ve given you a ton of reasons to be authentic. No more excuses.

Be who you were always meant to be.
Who you know you can be.
Who you know you should be.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

A Timeline That Shows How To Find Yourself.

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March 2009

I had just bought my dream car, was making loads of cash and chicks thought the fact I was a DJ and Music Producer was cool. My ego was big, I’d never given to a charity or volunteered for anything and I loved to talk my mouth off at anyone who questioned me.

At this point, I had no idea who I was. I honestly believed I could end up discovering drugs and losing myself.

 

June 2011

Nothing had changed except the business I had spent five years creating died.

Along with the death of what I thought was going to be my entire life, and my one big success. Rock bottom came quickly. I couldn’t face the world. I thought I was a failure that would never recover and would work some $15 an hour job for the rest of my life.

At this point, I was even further away from finding myself. The money had gone to my head.

 

April 2013

I’d spent the last two years reading every self-help book and watching lots of Ted Talks. I was more self-aware but still had no idea what I was doing. The fear I had in my life combined with the anxiety was crippling. My health started to fall off a cliff.

Through all of this self-help content, somehow, I discovered Tony Robbins. I went to his seminar by flying 45 minutes to another state of Australia. Flying was a massive fear and I thought I was going to die mid-air.

I got to the seminar and within minutes felt stupid. It seemed like some sort of cult where you drank the cool-aid and then gave your life (literally) at the end.

By that night, I was walking on fire and had a major breakthrough.

At this point, I still had not found myself, but I’d discovered a catalyst for the discovery to begin.

 

June 2014 (roughly I forget what month)

A mate shares a link to a blog called Addicted2Success. The name of the website gets my attention. On the bottom of the site is a phone number which I ring. I talk to the founder’s girlfriend, get the correct mobile number, fly to Perth with no meeting booked, and call him.

He meets me for coffee. There’s no agenda and no topic of conversation. I offer him something for free that he wants and then he asks me to write for his blog. I’ve never written anything professionally and the word ‘writer’ appears lame.

At this point, I had an opportunity but still had no idea who I was.

 

March 2015

My first blog post goes viral and I experience some success. It feels good. The success becomes the validation that I can be a blogger and inspire the world through personal development and entrepreneurship.

I believed in myself before this moment through the self-improvement work but this success compounded the results and my own belief.

At this point, a glimpse of who I was started to shine through. It was satisfying.

 

April 2015

I go to the doctor for a routine check after a few stomach aches, and he sends me to the hospital. While asleep for a few hours, the surgeon finds a lump the size of a golf ball in my guts which was months away from being cancerous.

My whole life changes. Nothing else matters. I begin feeling the following:

– What is my purpose in life?
– Will I be single forever?
– What will be my legacy once I’m gone?
– How can I give back and create more joy?
– Could I inspire millions of people?

These five questions changed everything. These questions were how I began to discover my true self.

 

January 2016

More publications wanted me to write for them. I did and as a result, had more viral blog posts. The daily emails of thank you’s was overwhelming. Inspiring others through my two passions of entrepreneurship and personal development became the pillar of everything I did.

At the same time, I also started crushing my fear of public speaking. This gave me the confidence boost I needed to believe in myself and to continue to discover who I wanted to be.

 

2018 and beyond

I learned the following:

– You’ll never know what will be the catalyst that will change your life
– The things you think you’ll never do, you will
– Once you understand the power of time and legacy through a near-death experience, you’ll never live life the same way again
– Whatever you find your true to self to be, you’ll end up giving back in some way

 

Finding yourself is a lifelong journey.

That’s right! You never arrive. You’re always going to evolve.

What I’ve learned is that once you know who you are and it’s tied to some meaningful purpose – like inspiring millions of people online – the rest will take care of itself.

“It’s the discovery process and being prepared to try new things that will help you uncover that purpose”

Nothing is static. Suffering is guaranteed. In the end, finding yourself is fun when you look back. Thinking about all my ridiculous fears and mistakes makes me laugh. Without them, though, I’d never be who I am today.

And I now know that tomorrow’s potential is created by what you do today.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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