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6 Lies That Are Keeping You From Your Dream Life

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6 Lies That Are Keeping You From Your Dream Life

The voices in our heads can say some pretty crazy things. Self-limiting beliefs have kept me from so much in life and I am sure they have kept you from the life you imagine.

What lurks inside our heads has kept us from much more than any outside influences ever will, yet we believe so much of the stupidity that we tell ourselves.

If anyone talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would punch that person in the nose.

So if you tell yourself these six things, call out that liar inner voice and replace it with the truth.

 

Lie # 1: I don’t have what it takes

This can take many forms, but basically the thing we tell ourselves is that somehow others are blessed with skill and knowledge that we don’t have.That somehow we missed out on the genetic prize to make us able to live out our dreams. That we have to know it all before we start and be an expert with no inadequacies or shortcomings. Fixated on our weaknesses we freeze in fear.

Truth: With practice, focus, and effort most shortcomings you think you have, can and will be overcome. You have what it takes wrapped up in potential. Just put the potential into action and make it reality. Dreams are realized as you push through and embrace the very things that you thought were holding you back. The very things you are viewing as a weaknesses may be the things that help you see the dreams in your heart.

 “Create the future you want and be on top; you have all it takes.” – Anyaele Chiyson

Lie # 2: I don’t deserve it

We don’t come out and say it, but most of us tell ourselves we don’t deserve it. This is what keeps some in a toxic relationship. This thought keeps others in a job they hate. This unwritten and unrealistic expectation of ourselves to finally be worth it, hinders us to go for our dream lives. That someday we will earn the right to go for it, but until then we must accept our lot. We must pay a price before we can go for our dreams.

Truth: You are worth so much more than you know. You are not used, broken, unfit, less-than, or somehow garbage. You are more than a conqueror. You are more special than you could ever imagine. The uniqueness of you is as unique as the dream in your heart.

 

Lie #3: I don’t have enough time

We tell ourselves that we don’t have enough time to work toward this dream. That we will try when we have more time available. That when we have less responsibilities and less demands we will have those illusive hours. That what little time we do have doesn’t add up to anything. That life is too full and overwhelming now, however, maybe tomorrow I will have more time to work toward my dreams.

Truth: Everyone has twenty-four hours in a day. Life is never going to slow down. It is up to you to dedicate part of your day to what you want. Pay yourself first with your time so that you can move toward your dreams. Even if it is just twenty minutes a day. There is time. It is found in waking up a little earlier, watching less TV, or sacrificing some other things you enjoy in the short-run to achieve your dreams in the long-run. Master your time to achieve your dreams!

  “Those that make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness.” – Jean De La Bruyere

Lie #4: I’m too old/young

We tell ourselves that our age holds us back. That if we are young no one takes us seriously and if we are old we are judged by the gray hair on our head. We play the card of too young until we reach the card of too old. We determine not to go for our dreams until we have more experience and then we gain too much experience. We need to wait until we are more stable and mature to pursue our dreams and then it morphs into if we had just started sooner in life then we could reach our dreams, but now it’s too late.

Truth: Age really is just a number. It determines very little of our dream chasing capacity. Too old and too young only exists in our minds. If we walk with confidence and boldness, no one thinks twice about our age. People are looking for both old and young to gather around. You are capable of your dream no matter how old.

 

Lie #5: My past defines my future

We have all made mistakes. We have fallen short and failed to live up to our own standards. We have all done things we regret doing and somehow we tell ourselves that because of these moments of failure we will do it again in the future. That our past performance dictates our future performance. That we will only be known for and shackled to the past until we die. Our past plays out again and again because we have accepted it for who we are and how we struggle.

Truth: Mistakes, setbacks, and failures have consequences, but they do not define you. If you focus on what you can learn, your past mistakes can catapult you into a bright future. You can move beyond your past and embark on a new journey. Free yourself of the shackles of the past by fixating on the future. You have learned and are more than able to take steps toward your dream.

6 Lies
 

Lie #6: I will be happy when I achieve my dreams

We tell ourselves that we will be happy when we achieve our dreams. That someday in the future we can be happy. That there is just this one thing holding me back and when I get that I will be content and happy. That happiness lies in the dream. Our expectations of happiness in objects and dreams is what we are striving to and pushing for. Like touching an elusive rainbow, happiness stays a little beyond our reach.

Truth. The truth is when we accomplish our dreams we will have new ones. This is a good thing and is meant to keep us stretching and growing. Happiness is up to you. You can’t control much of what happens to you, however, you can focus on how you respond to it. Focus on the process of taking steps toward your dreams. In that, there is happiness and excitement!

 

This dream life burning inside of you is only possible for YOU to bring into this world. No one else’s heart sings for the exact picture you have.

So, call out that lying inner monologue and start speaking the truth to yourself. In time, you will see that you are capable and more than enough for your dreams. Be blessed on your journey.

Zechariah Newman builds businesses, runs marathons, and lives life with my wonderful family in southern Oregon. You can see my writing in places like Entrepreneur Magazine, Fast Company, Mind Body Green, and the Good Men Project. My goal is to help you build your business while keeping a balanced and fulfilled life. You can visit his website: zechariahnewman.com and follow him on his Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ZechariahNewman

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11 Comments

11 Comments

  1. Daria

    Apr 4, 2016 at 10:38 am

    This is so good and inspiring, thanks for this article!

  2. SA

    Jun 6, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    you know, age is only a number for men. for women, with their biological clock, and many other things … age is a huge pressure. Right now i don’t know whether I have to focus on mu career or having a child.

    • Zechariah Newman

      Jun 6, 2015 at 9:48 pm

      SA you are right there are constraints such as child baring years. I will be praying for you. That is a tough choice I would follow my heart.

  3. Luka Mugo Liverpoolwan

    Jun 1, 2015 at 10:40 am

    This is true.negative thinking always hold us back.I will always fight that negative attitude!

    • Zechariah

      Jun 1, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      Awesome Luka. Keep fighting the good fight!

  4. Timo Fischer

    May 29, 2015 at 7:20 pm

    If anyone talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would punch that person in the nose. Exactly and I don’t understand why people are still doing it. Whenever this voice says something like don’t do that thing, I will do it just because the voice tried to keep me from doing it. It’s a great way to overcome the voice in your head and it gave me courage to do things i’d never do otherwise. I’m naturally a shy person but recently I became more outgoing and social and approached people just because my voice tried to prevent me from doing it. Great Article I am defnitely familiar with all those lies and what can I say they are just lies don’t believe them, believe in yourself!

    • Zechariah Newman

      May 29, 2015 at 10:31 pm

      Timo thanks for the comment. Great to see that you are committed to action!

  5. Lawrence Berry

    May 29, 2015 at 4:04 am

    These are all great lies that people continue to tell themselves and it really amazes me to hear these people say some of these thing, because I used to believe some of these things myself. But, thorough years if self-improvement and studying psychology, I learned that it is this type of negative thinking that hold you back from your dreams, not the idea themselves. What we think w can do…we can, but we must first believe it. Great post!

    • Zechariah Newman

      May 29, 2015 at 3:16 pm

      Thanks Lawrence! Glad your not listening to the inner negative voices. Keep pushing into your dream!

  6. Isaiah Jackson

    May 29, 2015 at 1:40 am

    Lie #6 is so true.

    I say that a lot to myself and you are right about it as well.

    Need to stop lying to myself now.

    Isaiah Jackson.

    • Zechariah Newman

      May 29, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      Isaiah that is the one I struggle the most with as well. Keep pushing hard after the dream but live today:)

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Motivation

A Step by Step Process That Will Help You Make the Impossible, Possible

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make it happen

We have all been there, looking at something and wishing we had it. The girl, the car, the money, the family, the lifestyle…but then we tell ourselves “Yeah, but that’s not me”. The people who get that are cut from a different cloth and we keep telling ourselves that until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We waste the wings we got believing the entire time that we can’t fly and that it’s impossible for us. We don’t even see our wings most of the time. (more…)

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Motivation

(Part 2) Conquering the Impossible Space Between Where You Are Now and Where You Want to Be

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risk taking
Image Credit: Unsplash

I wrote a blog post based on a mini-series I did for my Subscribers on the Achieve the Impossible App and have packaged it up in two parts to share here. If you missed Part One, quick click here and have a read over that first before reading any further!

One of the first obstacles we’re going to face on this journey towards risk is one that often strikes a damaging blow to our pride and can sometimes take us to our knees. As you embark on this journey, I can almost guarantee that we will take a wrong turn from time to time, we will read the map wrong (I’ll take the hit, I’m the navigator – sorry!) which will send us off course.

When you’ve taken a wrong turn driving, what is your first thought? DAMN IT. (Yep, me too!) What’s your second thought? Is it ‘ahh, I’ve stuffed up. I’m gonna just pull over and sit here until either the roads and maps magically change in my favor or someone comes to rescue me?’ Or do we think ‘Ok, what’s the quickest way to get back on my path?’

Mistakes Will Happen

When we stuff up, make a mistake, choose the wrong software, tell the wrong people or say the wrong thing, we don’t just pack up our dreams and hide. NO. We pick ourselves back up. We face the right direction (or what we believe is the right direction) and we MOVE FORWARD.

I don’t care if you start by walking one ginger step at a time, just start! Those small steps gain momentum and eventually lead to a jog, then before you know it, you’re back running!

Mistakes aren’t meant to end us, they are there to redirect us. Anytime you embark on an unknown journey you’re going to make mistakes.How you respond is the only thing I want you to focus on. Respond with reflection, movement and momentum in the direction of your dreams.

On our journey, we’re going to make mistakes and take wrong turns from time to time, but we choose to pick ourselves back up, and get back on that journey! We’re not staying stuck, we’re ‘running to risk’! As we get back on this journey, we’re going to need to make a decision to take action and invest in risk.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

Sounds like I’m about to write a message on Warren Buffett’s worst nightmare. But that’s not the risk I’m talking about and it’s not the investing I’m talking about. Sleep tight, Warren. This risk I’m talking about is the thing that stands between you and your dream. The thing that you’ve told yourself is too strong, too powerful and too insurmountable to climb.

It’s often the case that the risk we perceive in our own minds is actually far greater than it truly is in reality. I remember as a child, visiting a museum and being fascinated by a scary looking dinosaur down the other side of the room. It looked ferocious and intimidating from across the room, and as I walked closer and closer, the dinosaur, through the magic of perspective, got bigger and bigger.

That’s where I feel we are at right now on our journey towards risk. We’ve identified the risk standing between us and our dreams, and we’re taking the tentative first steps towards it. As we step closer and closer to risk, it will look bigger. You’ll start to compare the size of it to you, and don’t be surprised if it grows each step you take. But, have faith.

The closer I got to the dinosaur, the bigger it became. I had a choice to let fear or faith determine my next steps. I continued walking step by step towards the prehistoric creature. Then something strange happened.

Yes, the closer I got to the creature, the bigger it became. But then something else came into the picture. The closer I got, the more detail I was noticing. What I thought were bone-crunching teeth were actually a matte white plastic, what I thought was impenetrable skin was old flaking greeny-brown paint. Those eyes that glared at you from across the room, were now nothing but big marble sized spheres of glass.

When we step towards fear, yes it gets bigger – but as we invest in faith and continue to live our lives in the direction of our dreams, we expose the master of risk…FEAR.

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

Invest in those extra steps this week as you get closer to risk to point out the finer details, you’re going to realise it’s not as scary as it once seemed. Those steps aren’t always going to come easy though, because the journey towards risk is an interesting one.

There’ll be times when you’re pumped full of Adrenalin, bashing down every obstacle that comes your way. There will be times where you’re cruising on a nice downhill slope, enjoying the scenery and wondering why it took you this long to convince yourself to get here!

Then there’ll be times when things aren’t easy. Just like my climb this evening up a little mountain by my home on the Sunshine Coast of Australia. I started out full of energy, pumped for the adventure ahead, then five minutes into the usually very achievable rocky steps, my legs started really feeling it.

“You’ll never know your strength until you’ve faced your struggles.”

The Adrenalin gave way to frustration, to fear and to my quickly draining self-belief in my fitness. I continued one painful step at a time. I wasn’t going the pace I normally would, but knew this mountain could be conquered one slow step at a time.

As I slowly neared the end of the steps, my legs were burning, my heart pounding and my mindset weakening. Two quiet words burst through my pain…

Stay strong

I’m pretty sure I’ve never said this going up the mountain before, but it seemed fitting. As I climbed one step at a time, ‘stay strong’ became my repeated mantra. After the season of pain and intentional mindset building, I reached the summit of the mountain and cruised my way back down.

There is such an incredibly untapped power within our self-belief and mindset, which shapes our self-talk. On your journey towards your risk, I can almost guarantee you’ll be faced with steps that seem too difficult, too challenging, too much to conquer.

Remember…’stay strong’. You’re on this path for a reason – you’re capable of completing it. You’ve come this far, see it through. Your ‘impossible’ dream is counting on you to conquer fear and run to risk!

This blog is based off the mini-series ‘Run to Risk’ first featured on the Achieve the Impossible App, accompanied by downloadable wallpapers and daily inspiring messages to inspire, challenge and equip you to achieve your impossible dream. Download the Achieve the Impossible App and start your free trial today!

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Motivation

(Part 1) Conquering the Impossible Space Between Where You Are Now and Where You Want to Be

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how to achieve the impossible

Deep down, you know exactly what you are capable of. There’s even moments where you get a glimpse of all the potential you have. You can get there. You just have to be willing to sacrifice the habits, things and situations that are standing in the way of your success. I honestly believe “Running to Risk” has the power to unlock mindsets and belief systems that have been holding you back from your true potential (I’m naturally conservative so it’s big coming from me!)

Before we do something crazy and ‘run to risk’, let’s take stock of where we are today and our foundational beliefs in our potential and true capacity. In the day-to-day act of living, waking up, coffee, breakfast, school drop-offs, work, more coffee, home, homework, dinner, finish off emails, glass or two of (insert drink here), collapse on couch, Netflix etc. We can become disconnected with our true potential and capacity.

You are being pulled from all sides – your family, your boss, your colleagues, your partner, your friends, even your dog. You can be forgiven for prioritising the present over the future.

To set up this series on healthy and personal-capacity fuelled risk, I want you to invest a moment or two searching deep within yourself.

  • What’s in your heart for 2019?
  • What is one thing you would look back on come 31st Dec 2019 and be proud of your personal accomplishment?
  • What’s something that scares you?
  • What’s that one thing that has been on the back of your mind that you’d love to put your name to in your lifetime?

The answer to the above is the thing we’re going to focus on in part one of this post. We’re focusing on it because with every achievement that challenges our personal capacity and unlocks our potential, there will be an element of risk.

Risk Is Scary!

Risk stares you in the face from afar and says ‘don’t you dare approach. Don’t even try’. This is when you’re faced with a decision to make, and the best (and also worst!) thing about it is you’re the only one who can make it!

As you make this decision to ‘run to risk’, the regret of not running has to be stronger than your personal comfort. Your comfort must give way to your calling. Your present must give way to your potential.

Think about the one thing on your heart – the thing that helps you step into your calling and potential. The thing with risk looming all over it. Let’s build the strength, self-belief, courage, boldness and tenacity to ‘Run to Risk.’ But what about timing? I’m not sure if I should be pursuing my dream now.

“You can’t always wait for the perfect time. Sometimes, you have to dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what might have been.”

We’re not running to risk for a laugh and a good time, we’re running to risk because that dream in our hearts for 2019 is worth pursuing. When faced with the potential of risk, we often come up with thoughts and reasons to justify our lack of momentum or progress.

I don’t know how!

I don’t have the money!

I don’t have the connections!

But one of the most common excuses I hear (I know, because I hear it from myself) is a little sentence that has killed more dreams and crushed more souls than most. ’It’s not the right time’.

It’s one of the most powerful excuses because it bulldozes every other excuse by default. You’ll always meet more people, money comes and goes, but once time is gone, it’s gone forever. This excuse becomes our default without us even realising it.

I remember when I was wanting to launch a few online courses, a podcast and a book. (These are all my risks for 2019). But they were also my goals for 2017 and 2018. Sadly, I put my insecurities ahead of my identity and my convenience over my calling. Looking back now, each excuse I held to for not launching these projects was based on timing.

First, the IG algorithms were affecting posts, then someone else launched a podcast in my niche and gosh, I couldn’t do that! Next, as I was writing my IG Online Course, another one came on the market. Nope, can’t do that now. I’ll wait until the marketing heat dies down on that one. The exact same situation with my book launch…it just wasn’t quite the right time.

Here’s what I learnt and something I want to share with you, there’s never a right time to do the thing that’s on your heart. The right time will never simply show up, you’ve got the time, now it’s up to you to make it right!

Looking back, I’ve felt the pain of regret and don’t want to let the fear of risk lead to regret again. Now is the time to look risk dead square in the eyes and say ‘ready or not, here I come’. Yeah, the I could start now I guess…I know what I want to do and I kinda believe now is as good of time as any…I’m honestly not sure where to start.

“Never be afraid to try something new, because life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know.”

Now It’s Time!

We’ve just told risk we’re coming for it. We’ve made the decision to put our calling over our comfort and choose to be lead by faith not fear. Now it’s the time to start. We’re starting right now because we have been given the time, and we’ve got complete power and control to make it the ‘right time’. We’ve made the decision to go after that thing that’s on our heart, the thing we’ve always wanted to do, the thing that has been too risky.

Not anymore. Today, we start.

There is huge power in the start. When we start, we have the luxury of being on home ground. We are making more decisions for ourselves, rather than having to make decisions based on responses which we will have to inevitably do down the road.

Today, we start.

We’re filled fresh with enthusiasm, passion and driven by our desire to accomplish something meaningful this year. Yesterday, we may have had a loss to our name, we may have stumbled and fallen…but you’ve picked yourself up.

Today, we start.

We look to the future with our heads held high, the hopes of a brighter future with that dream in our heart knowing that we are valiantly pursuing it despite the risk. We know our dream, we know we are capable of achieving it, we know we’ve got the time and today, we start.

We start the journey as we ‘Run to Risk’.This blog is based off the mini-series ‘Run to Risk’ first featured on the Achieve the Impossible App, accompanied by downloadable wallpapers and daily inspiring messages to inspire, challenge and equip you to achieve your impossible dream. Download the Achieve the Impossible App and start your free trial today!

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Motivation

It’s What You Do On A ‘Bad Day’ That Matters.

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Last Friday was a bad day for me. I woke up late, missed the gym and didn’t meditate.

None of this was intentional.

I then turned my computer on to do what I do every day: blog. I was not prepared for the whirlwind that followed.

As I opened up my social media channels, there were a lot more than usual, direct messages. I started reading each one and they were from colleagues and friends who wanted to warn me that I had a large amount of hate-fuelled comments on social media. I’m usually pretty good at dealing with hate comments. Not on that day, though — I was having a ‘bad day.’

I turned off the computer and didn’t respond to anybody. In the same week, I’d been told I was now a LinkedIn Top Voice for 2018.

I should have been celebrating and I didn’t because I didn’t feel worthy. If anything, I wanted to give up there and then. Luckily I didn’t follow through with any of these ideas. I knew it was just noise in my awful day.

I went away to sit on the couch and think about what I’d just read. Without really thinking about what I was going to do for the rest of the day, I began thinking about my team at work. There were several leadership challenges that I had to solve.

One was from a customer that was being abusive to female staff. Another was a rejection I had to deliver to someone that wanted to work with us. The hardest part about delivering the rejection was that I’d already said yes.
Despite the day being bad, I made a fundamental decision — to keep doing what I do and not stop. I said to myself “How can I inspire people while simultaneously solving both these challenges?”

I’m a big believer that it’s not what you say that matters; it’s what you do. Talk is cheap. I came up with a bold plan to address both challenges.

I was going to do something that made me see the good in the people involved.

Even if the people in both situations had let me down, I was going to assume they were still good.

I concocted a plan to help both people and try and show them a more positive way to move forward. If I break down the plan, it was about being an inspiration in both situations.

I didn’t feel like being inspiring.
It was not the day to be inspiring.

But it was the only way I could motivate myself to finish off this bad day and wake up the next morning fresh. It’s funny how a good nights sleep takes away all the pain and negativity from the day before.

So, by the end of the day, I enabled both plans. I set out to release inspiration in both scenarios and that was my only focus. I didn’t look at anymore hate fuelled comments or go near social media.

On that bad day last Friday, my actions helped me keep moving forward and not give up.


It’s not about necessarily seeing the good in your bad day.

I’ve read this sort of advice heaps, but it requires a lot of willpower.

Using your actions to make the day better rather than trying to think your way out of your bad day seems to be a lot easier to implement”


It’s not about the bad day.

Bad days will happen.

It’s what you do on a bad day that determines if you’ll feel the full effect of all the negativity that can potentially knock you out like a Tsunami that comes your way when all you wanted to do was lay on the beach and soak up some sun.

I’ve learned to find situations during a day that’s not working out well for me, to do something good, and often that’s not something that benefits me. If I was to look at it another way it would be “How do I not focus on my own bad day?”

Trying to make someone else’s day good distracts you from your own bad day.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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