The voices in our heads can say some pretty crazy things. Self-limiting beliefs have kept me from so much in life and I am sure they have kept you from the life you imagine.
What lurks inside our heads has kept us from much more than any outside influences ever will, yet we believe so much of the stupidity that we tell ourselves.
If anyone talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would punch that person in the nose.
So if you tell yourself these six things, call out that liar inner voice and replace it with the truth.
Lie # 1: I don’t have what it takes
This can take many forms, but basically the thing we tell ourselves is that somehow others are blessed with skill and knowledge that we don’t have.That somehow we missed out on the genetic prize to make us able to live out our dreams. That we have to know it all before we start and be an expert with no inadequacies or shortcomings. Fixated on our weaknesses we freeze in fear.
Truth: With practice, focus, and effort most shortcomings you think you have, can and will be overcome. You have what it takes wrapped up in potential. Just put the potential into action and make it reality. Dreams are realized as you push through and embrace the very things that you thought were holding you back. The very things you are viewing as a weaknesses may be the things that help you see the dreams in your heart.
“Create the future you want and be on top; you have all it takes.” – Anyaele Chiyson
Lie # 2: I don’t deserve it
We don’t come out and say it, but most of us tell ourselves we don’t deserve it. This is what keeps some in a toxic relationship. This thought keeps others in a job they hate. This unwritten and unrealistic expectation of ourselves to finally be worth it, hinders us to go for our dream lives. That someday we will earn the right to go for it, but until then we must accept our lot. We must pay a price before we can go for our dreams.
Truth: You are worth so much more than you know. You are not used, broken, unfit, less-than, or somehow garbage. You are more than a conqueror. You are more special than you could ever imagine. The uniqueness of you is as unique as the dream in your heart.
Lie #3: I don’t have enough time
We tell ourselves that we don’t have enough time to work toward this dream. That we will try when we have more time available. That when we have less responsibilities and less demands we will have those illusive hours. That what little time we do have doesn’t add up to anything. That life is too full and overwhelming now, however, maybe tomorrow I will have more time to work toward my dreams.
Truth: Everyone has twenty-four hours in a day. Life is never going to slow down. It is up to you to dedicate part of your day to what you want. Pay yourself first with your time so that you can move toward your dreams. Even if it is just twenty minutes a day. There is time. It is found in waking up a little earlier, watching less TV, or sacrificing some other things you enjoy in the short-run to achieve your dreams in the long-run. Master your time to achieve your dreams!
“Those that make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness.” – Jean De La Bruyere
Lie #4: I’m too old/young
We tell ourselves that our age holds us back. That if we are young no one takes us seriously and if we are old we are judged by the gray hair on our head. We play the card of too young until we reach the card of too old. We determine not to go for our dreams until we have more experience and then we gain too much experience. We need to wait until we are more stable and mature to pursue our dreams and then it morphs into if we had just started sooner in life then we could reach our dreams, but now it’s too late.
Truth: Age really is just a number. It determines very little of our dream chasing capacity. Too old and too young only exists in our minds. If we walk with confidence and boldness, no one thinks twice about our age. People are looking for both old and young to gather around. You are capable of your dream no matter how old.
Lie #5: My past defines my future
We have all made mistakes. We have fallen short and failed to live up to our own standards. We have all done things we regret doing and somehow we tell ourselves that because of these moments of failure we will do it again in the future. That our past performance dictates our future performance. That we will only be known for and shackled to the past until we die. Our past plays out again and again because we have accepted it for who we are and how we struggle.
Truth: Mistakes, setbacks, and failures have consequences, but they do not define you. If you focus on what you can learn, your past mistakes can catapult you into a bright future. You can move beyond your past and embark on a new journey. Free yourself of the shackles of the past by fixating on the future. You have learned and are more than able to take steps toward your dream.
Lie #6: I will be happy when I achieve my dreams
We tell ourselves that we will be happy when we achieve our dreams. That someday in the future we can be happy. That there is just this one thing holding me back and when I get that I will be content and happy. That happiness lies in the dream. Our expectations of happiness in objects and dreams is what we are striving to and pushing for. Like touching an elusive rainbow, happiness stays a little beyond our reach.
Truth. The truth is when we accomplish our dreams we will have new ones. This is a good thing and is meant to keep us stretching and growing. Happiness is up to you. You can’t control much of what happens to you, however, you can focus on how you respond to it. Focus on the process of taking steps toward your dreams. In that, there is happiness and excitement!
This dream life burning inside of you is only possible for YOU to bring into this world. No one else’s heart sings for the exact picture you have.
So, call out that lying inner monologue and start speaking the truth to yourself. In time, you will see that you are capable and more than enough for your dreams. Be blessed on your journey.
How to Stay Motivated to Achieve Your Goals
Time is the raw material of our lives. How we choose to spend it, shapes our life accordingly. So having the motivation to spend it on achieving goals is crucial to creating a life we want.
What is Motivation?
The Oxford dictionary defines motivation as the desire or willingness to do something – our drive to take action.
Scientifically, motivation has its roots in the dopamine pathways of our brains. When we do something that feels good, that’s dopamine kicking in. Our actions are driven by the desire for that reward (the good feeling).
Author Steven Pressfield describes motivation more practically. He says we hit a point where the pain of not doing something becomes greater than the pain of doing it. He sees motivation as crossing the threshold where it’s easier to take action than it is to be idle. Like choosing to feel awkward while making sales calls over feeling disappointed about a diminishing bank account.
However you choose to think about it, we all want to harness motivation to achieve our goals.
How to Get Motivated
James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, says that most people misunderstand motivation. They think that motivation is what gets us to take action. In reality, motivation is often the result of action, not the cause of it. Once we start a task, it’s easier to continue making progress. Like Isaac Newton’s first law: objects in motion stay in motion.
This means most of the resistance when working on your goals comes right before we start. Since motivation naturally occurs after we start, we need to focus on making starting easier.
4 Ways to Make Starting Easier
1. Schedule it
One reason people can’t get started on things is that they haven’t planned when to do it.
When things aren’t scheduled it’s easier for them to fall by the wayside. You’ll end up hoping motivation falls in your lap or hoping that you’ll muster enough willpower to get it done.
An article in the Guardian said, “If you waste resources trying to decide when or where to work, you’ll impede your capacity to do the work.”
2. Measure something
It’s easy to feel uninspired when you don’t know if you’re making progress or what you’re even working towards. That’s why you need to make your success measurable in some way. Starting is easy when you know exactly how much closer your current actions will bring you to achieving your goal.
3. Extrinsic motivation
This type of motivation is from external factors. It can be either positive or negative. Positive motivation consists of incentives like money, prizes, and grades. Negative motivation consists of deterrents like being fired, having a fight, or being fined. Extrinsic motivation doesn’t work effectively long-term, but it can work well in the short term to get you started on something.
4. Make it public
Keep yourself accountable by telling friends and family your goals, or even sharing them on social media. This makes it easier to start something because you’re pressured to not let others down.
How to Stay Motivated Long Term
When we say we want to feel motivated to do something, we don’t want to be pushed or guilted into doing a task. We want to be so attracted and drawn to the idea that we can’t resist not taking action. That’s why it’s important to build a foundation that will set you up for consistency.
These are 5 techniques that will help you do just that:
1. Stay in your goldilocks zone
The goldilocks zone is when a task is the perfect level of difficulty—not too hard and not too easy. In this zone, we reach peak motivation and focus.
For example, let’s say you’re playing a serious tennis match against a 4-year-old. On this level of difficulty, you’ll quickly become bored and not want to play. Now let’s say you’re playing a serious tennis match against Serena Williams. On this level of difficulty, you’ll quickly become demotivated because the match is too challenging.
The Goldilocks zone is in the middle of that spectrum. You want to face someone with equal skill as you. That way you have a chance to win, but you have to focus and try for it. Adjusting your workload and goals over time to stay within your Goldilocks zone keeps you engaged and motivated long-term.
2. Pursue intrinsically motivated goals
Being intrinsically motivated to achieve a goal is when you want to achieve it for what it is. There are no external factors like a reward or the risk of being fired. The drive behind your actions is coming from within.
For most intrinsic goals we pursue them because they will enrich our lives or bring us closer to fulfillment. That makes these goals extremely sustainable long-term because they directly affect our quality of life and the things we care about.
3. Use “chunking”
Chunking is the technique of breaking down a goal into smaller short-term targets. By doing this you achieve multiple successes in your pursuit of the main goal. This triggers the brain’s reward system and drives you to keep going.
Traditionally, you may set a goal that you expect to achieve in one year. That’s a long time to commit without seeing any results along the way. By chunking your goals into monthly or quarterly targets, you get the consistent positive reinforcement you need to stay motivated long-term.
For example, instead of trying to lose 50 pounds in one year, try to lose 4 pounds every month for 12 months.
4. Be flexible
We’re all victims of circumstance. Things happen along our journey that we can either adjust to or quit because of. That’s why it’s important to have leeway and flexibility when you’re pursuing a goal. If you expect everything to go perfectly, the inevitable failure can make you disengaged and desireless. When you plan for things to go wrong, you make sure you can keep up for the long haul.
5. Pursue your goals in a sustainable fashion
Don’t lose hope when you’re not an overnight success. Overnight successes are the 1%—for the most part, they don’t exist. What we see as an “overnight success” is actually countless hours of work behind the scenes finally hitting a tipping point. Pursuing goals is a story of patience, persistence, and unseen effort.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison is a recipe for a drop in self-confidence and satisfaction. It also cultivates a mindset where you think you haven’t done enough. As a result, you may raise your expectations and put more pressure on yourself.
This is pointless because things worth achieving take time. So we obviously won’t compare to the things around us when starting.
Mastering motivation is a superpower. With that ability at your fingertips, you can accomplish your goals and shape a life you want to live in.
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