Rejection is simply one of the most hurtful things that can happen to any person. What makes it even more painful is the fact that whether we like it or not, it is bound to happen.
More so, anyone can face rejection in any area of their life. Regardless of where it occurs, the effects of rejection are the same. It hurts, it’s no fun and it happens to be the number one reason people are afraid to try. When faced with rejection, it is super important to have the strength to face rejection head on, accept it, learn from it and simply keep on pushing on.
But of course, this is easier said than done. All things equal, the number one major weapon that one needs when containing and dealing with rejection is motivation. Mind you, it is a difficult weapon to master when dealing with rejection which coincidentally has a devastating effect on one’s personal motivation. However, if you are struggling with staying motivated in the face of dealing with rejection in business or life, take a look below.
Here are 4 ways to help you stay motivated and conquer rejection in its tracks:
1. Be coachable
You try, you get knocked down. You keep getting knocked down and can’t seem to figure out why? We have all heard it, it is probably one of the most popular definitions floating around today. What you ask? It’s the definition of insanity; doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results. Every cloud has a silver lining and by being coachable, you open yourself up to the opportunity to learn new skills and improve the way you do things. There is no doubt about it, for learning and improvement to occur, one must be coachable. There is no short cut to this! Being coachable is about being open to the feedback and opinions given by others and using that feedback to help improve yourself in all facets of life.
On your journey of defeating rejection in its tracks, do yourself a favor and don’t let arrogance, defensiveness, pride or ego hinder your ability to become better at what you do. These traits must be avoided at all costs. Instead, one must embrace humility, objectivity, approachability, confidence and receptiveness among other things. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to relinquish control to help you stay motivated in overcoming the rejections you’re facing!
2. Keep your eye on the prize
Yes, you have been rejected, that doesn’t necessarily mean that your dreams and goals are invalid or unachievable. If anything, rejection should motivate you to pay even more attention to what you set out for in the first place. After all, it is 20% what happens to us and 80% how we respond to it. Paying attention to distractions and in this case rejection, only serves to take attention away from the main prize.
Instead of focusing on your stumbles and falls, why not take some time off to cool down, re-evaluate yourself and appreciate your achievements? Doing so, is a major step in ensuring that your gaze is not taken off the prize. Learn how to prioritize and focus on the bigger picture.
3. Don’t take it personal
This is simply one of the most spoken phrases in the world, but it is also one of the most useful pieces of advice that a person could be given. So what if you have been rejected? It is part of life, everyone gets rejected. Rejection does not mean that something is wrong with you.
When you let yourself believe that you are inadequate and that something is wrong with you, you are simply feeding the low self-esteem monster. When you let low self-esteem take over, then you might as well say goodbye to the successful achievement of your goals. Always remember, that for you to be successful, you must believe in yourself even when others don’t!
4. Never give up
Few people have achieved success by trying once. In fact, most people who have achieved success in their various fields is because they have tried multiple times. The more you try, the more chances you give yourself of succeeding. Even Rome itself, wasn’t built in a day. Giving up signifies that you no longer believe in your capabilities and strengths. Giving up means that you are not ready to learn from your mistakes. Giving up means that you have accepted defeat. Instead, carry on with the struggle, put more effort, avoid the wrong turns that you made before and appreciate the fact that no one, absolutely no one, is perfect.
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Edison
Rejection is an unavoidable part of life; it is bound to happen at one point or another whether we like it or not. But by being coachable, keeping your eyes on the prize, not taking it personal and pushing on even when the going is rough, you can ensure that your motivation levels are sky high even in the face of rejection.
Thank you for reading my article! What other tips would you give to stay motivated when facing rejection?
How to Stay Motivated to Achieve Your Goals
Time is the raw material of our lives. How we choose to spend it, shapes our life accordingly. So having the motivation to spend it on achieving goals is crucial to creating a life we want.
What is Motivation?
The Oxford dictionary defines motivation as the desire or willingness to do something – our drive to take action.
Scientifically, motivation has its roots in the dopamine pathways of our brains. When we do something that feels good, that’s dopamine kicking in. Our actions are driven by the desire for that reward (the good feeling).
Author Steven Pressfield describes motivation more practically. He says we hit a point where the pain of not doing something becomes greater than the pain of doing it. He sees motivation as crossing the threshold where it’s easier to take action than it is to be idle. Like choosing to feel awkward while making sales calls over feeling disappointed about a diminishing bank account.
However you choose to think about it, we all want to harness motivation to achieve our goals.
How to Get Motivated
James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, says that most people misunderstand motivation. They think that motivation is what gets us to take action. In reality, motivation is often the result of action, not the cause of it. Once we start a task, it’s easier to continue making progress. Like Isaac Newton’s first law: objects in motion stay in motion.
This means most of the resistance when working on your goals comes right before we start. Since motivation naturally occurs after we start, we need to focus on making starting easier.
4 Ways to Make Starting Easier
1. Schedule it
One reason people can’t get started on things is that they haven’t planned when to do it.
When things aren’t scheduled it’s easier for them to fall by the wayside. You’ll end up hoping motivation falls in your lap or hoping that you’ll muster enough willpower to get it done.
An article in the Guardian said, “If you waste resources trying to decide when or where to work, you’ll impede your capacity to do the work.”
2. Measure something
It’s easy to feel uninspired when you don’t know if you’re making progress or what you’re even working towards. That’s why you need to make your success measurable in some way. Starting is easy when you know exactly how much closer your current actions will bring you to achieving your goal.
3. Extrinsic motivation
This type of motivation is from external factors. It can be either positive or negative. Positive motivation consists of incentives like money, prizes, and grades. Negative motivation consists of deterrents like being fired, having a fight, or being fined. Extrinsic motivation doesn’t work effectively long-term, but it can work well in the short term to get you started on something.
4. Make it public
Keep yourself accountable by telling friends and family your goals, or even sharing them on social media. This makes it easier to start something because you’re pressured to not let others down.
How to Stay Motivated Long Term
When we say we want to feel motivated to do something, we don’t want to be pushed or guilted into doing a task. We want to be so attracted and drawn to the idea that we can’t resist not taking action. That’s why it’s important to build a foundation that will set you up for consistency.
These are 5 techniques that will help you do just that:
1. Stay in your goldilocks zone
The goldilocks zone is when a task is the perfect level of difficulty—not too hard and not too easy. In this zone, we reach peak motivation and focus.
For example, let’s say you’re playing a serious tennis match against a 4-year-old. On this level of difficulty, you’ll quickly become bored and not want to play. Now let’s say you’re playing a serious tennis match against Serena Williams. On this level of difficulty, you’ll quickly become demotivated because the match is too challenging.
The Goldilocks zone is in the middle of that spectrum. You want to face someone with equal skill as you. That way you have a chance to win, but you have to focus and try for it. Adjusting your workload and goals over time to stay within your Goldilocks zone keeps you engaged and motivated long-term.
2. Pursue intrinsically motivated goals
Being intrinsically motivated to achieve a goal is when you want to achieve it for what it is. There are no external factors like a reward or the risk of being fired. The drive behind your actions is coming from within.
For most intrinsic goals we pursue them because they will enrich our lives or bring us closer to fulfillment. That makes these goals extremely sustainable long-term because they directly affect our quality of life and the things we care about.
3. Use “chunking”
Chunking is the technique of breaking down a goal into smaller short-term targets. By doing this you achieve multiple successes in your pursuit of the main goal. This triggers the brain’s reward system and drives you to keep going.
Traditionally, you may set a goal that you expect to achieve in one year. That’s a long time to commit without seeing any results along the way. By chunking your goals into monthly or quarterly targets, you get the consistent positive reinforcement you need to stay motivated long-term.
For example, instead of trying to lose 50 pounds in one year, try to lose 4 pounds every month for 12 months.
4. Be flexible
We’re all victims of circumstance. Things happen along our journey that we can either adjust to or quit because of. That’s why it’s important to have leeway and flexibility when you’re pursuing a goal. If you expect everything to go perfectly, the inevitable failure can make you disengaged and desireless. When you plan for things to go wrong, you make sure you can keep up for the long haul.
5. Pursue your goals in a sustainable fashion
Don’t lose hope when you’re not an overnight success. Overnight successes are the 1%—for the most part, they don’t exist. What we see as an “overnight success” is actually countless hours of work behind the scenes finally hitting a tipping point. Pursuing goals is a story of patience, persistence, and unseen effort.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison is a recipe for a drop in self-confidence and satisfaction. It also cultivates a mindset where you think you haven’t done enough. As a result, you may raise your expectations and put more pressure on yourself.
This is pointless because things worth achieving take time. So we obviously won’t compare to the things around us when starting.
Mastering motivation is a superpower. With that ability at your fingertips, you can accomplish your goals and shape a life you want to live in.
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