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Motivation

The Recipe to Transform Your Dreams into Reality

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The Recipe to Transform Your Dreams into Reality

Can you change your life in an instant? You watch an inspirational movie, read the best self-help book, come across a quote that reaches you deeply. Can these moments lead to lasting change? They lead to intense inspiration and motivation. However, the burst of inspiration is fleeting and the moment slips away.

You imagined shedding your old ways and lifting off into a new stratosphere of success while you were in the cloud of inspiration. You saw your best self emerge. The gravity from the beliefs, patterns of thought, and habits you built over years pulls you back to your base state. According to a University of Scranton study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, only 8% of New Year’s resolutions are successful. You didn’t need a research study to arrive at that conclusion.

You’ve experienced it with your own resolutions to make drastic changes. You realized it when your friend’s resolution to work out every day lasted 2 weeks. The jury is in: enduring change doesn’t happen overnight. The movie montage of the protagonist flipping tires and running sprints in an abandoned warehouse after experiencing a life-changing epiphany isn’t realistic.

 

Oprah quotes
 

Motivation

While motivation doesn’t persist, you can commit to change your life in an instant. You tell yourself you’re sick of your old ways; it’s time to take action. If you embrace the moment and commit to change, the spark from that decision produces lasting change. You can use the moment to build momentum and commit to consistent, determined action until you arrive at your dream destination. Use the fuel from motivation to propel you to develop systems that facilitate the daily work that leads to your goal.

You can ride the wave of inspiration by creating the habits, plans, and systems necessary for success. You can’t ride the wave all the way to your end goal though. As your motivation dips, your inner critic begins a continuous stream of limiting thoughts. Your inner voice says you’re not good enough. Your plan will never work. You should give up on your dreams.

On top of the inner critic getting louder, you make mistakes, stumble, and fail because you’re learning a new skill or process. You don’t know the next step to take to overcome the latest setback. This seems like an ideal time to shove the dream back in the closet and quit. That’s what most people do. They turn to the safe path they’re familiar with when the going gets tough. The path that everyone else takes. There is a way to navigate around these setbacks that cause most people to quit.

 

Small Wins

The road map guides you past the roadblocks towards your dream. The road map breaks down the larger goal into smaller mini-goals. Achieving mini-goals each week provides small wins that create momentum towards the larger goal.

In The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, Charles Duhigg writes that “Small wins fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach.” You can develop your plan in a way that tilts the odds in your favor. Breaking down the goal into small pieces allows you to focus on the next step rather than being overwhelmed by the mountain ahead.

You’re in control of the road map. You can sequence your mini-goals so that each challenge is an appropriate level of difficulty. When you play a video game, level 1 is easy. It builds confidence and skills that will be needed in tougher levels. You don’t start the video game in level 7. If you did, you would lose 3 times in the first minute and turn the game off. Start your goals in level 1 to accumulate small wins.

 

Commit to Your Dream

It’s hard to change routines and behaviors. Trying to do too much at the beginning is the quickest route to giving up. Being overly ambitious early in the process results in frequent failures that lead to feelings of inadequacy. These feelings drive you to conclude that you’re not good enough to reach the goal. You head in a different direction towards a new goal.

Repeating this process over and over in your life creates limiting beliefs and massive friction towards taking action. Why set new goals if you’re just going to fail after a few weeks? Play the long game instead with your goals. When you’re committed to a goal, failures in the journey turn into opportunities to learn and improve. Instead of quitting, you ask what can I learn from this failure? What will I do differently next time?

Commit to your dream regardless of the amount of time it takes to achieve it or the obstacles that arise along the way. If your commitment level is low, you’ll be pushed around by circumstances. On the other hand, if you MUST realize your dreams, you’ll find a way past the obstacles.

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hill

Habits for Success

Once you determine the course of action, block out specific time on your calendar to do the work. It’s ideal for the blocks of time to be the same each week. Working on the goal at the same time each day helps you stick with the habit for the long run. Consider working on life-changing goals first thing in the morning. In Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, Baumeister and Tierney write that “You have a finite amount of willpower that becomes depleted as you use it.”

You have a full tank of willpower in the morning. The world hasn’t kicked into high gear yet with e-mails, phone calls, and texts screaming for your attention. Creating a winnable plan and setting aside time to do the daily work paves the way towards success. To strengthen your game plan, build in weekly monitoring to assess your progress and identify your biggest pain points. From there, you can strategically make adjustments for the next week.

If you miss the mark on the min-goal of the week, you can scale back the actions for the next week. Adding accountability provides another layer of protection to your game plan. Asking a friend to check in with you once a week provides more motivation to follow-through on your action steps. The last step in the plan is a large dose of perseverance.

 

Persevere

When you don’t feel like working on your goal, work on it. When fear, insecurity, and uncertainty strike, work on it. When you’re exhausted and overwhelmed, work on it. No matter how you feel, work on the plan. Trust the process. Methodically overcome each obstacle that arises. Execute the plan. Take the next step. The process leads to massive gains. It’s that simple. It’s also that hard. It’s difficult to ignore external expectations and distractions. At any moment, you could do a thousand other things than what you need to do.

When we look at successful people, we see the rewards they reap in public. We see the spoils from their years of hard word. We don’t see the thousands of hours of work that they logged in private. We don’t see that they worked towards their uncertain dreams every day, no matter how they felt. Putting your head down and executing the plan you laid out is hard. However, it leads to disproportionate results and success over time.

“The will to persevere is often the difference between failure and success.” – David Sarnoff

Success isn’t a nebulous or mystical process. There’s a formula for success. It’s a repeatable process.

Develop a road map, implement habits that support your goal, conduct weekly check-ins to monitor your progress, and add accountability. Then, adjust, learn, and persist until you arrive at your destination.

What habits or strategies do you implement to take consistent action on your dreams? What’s the biggest challenge you face in pursuing your dreams? Share your experience in the comments below!

Jose Ramos helps people use winning habits and strategies to build their dream life instead of settling for average results and feeling stuck. Get his free guide to setting and achieving your awesome goals so you can boost your life to the next level, which could be getting a raise, losing 10 pounds, or traveling more.

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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Hindi India

    Apr 23, 2017 at 2:07 am

    Thank you for so useful article!
    Started doing these points and even for a short period of time I can see the result. Everything is possible if you do it regularly and efficiently.

  2. Charlene Rhinehart

    Jan 31, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    Great advice, Jose! Your dreams are like a marriage. You can’t cheat on your dreams and expect it to work. Committing to your dreams may be the most challenging step in the process but it will pay dividends later. I always try to find like-minded people with similar goals who can hold me accountable.

  3. Jose Ramos

    Sep 27, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    Lawrence, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I love your insights about being pushed around due to having a plan B in the back of your mind.

  4. Thedore Nwangene

    Sep 27, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    A very inspirational post Jose,
    Setting a goal is not usually the main work, its in achieving those goals that we often fail at. However, in as much as its good to set big goals for yourself, its also proper to always divide those goals into smaller parts so that you won’t get overwhelmed while trying to hit the big goal.

    We need motivation to succeed in everyday life and without it, we will always feel down and defeated. Also like you mentioned, maintaining good habits is also very necessary to transform any dream to reality, you have to be able to form the habit of pushing harder even when you don’t feel like because this is the only way to get there.

    • Jose Ramos

      Sep 27, 2015 at 4:58 pm

      Thanks Thedore! Great point about pushing harder when you don’t feel like it. There are always moments when you want to give up on the goal.

  5. Lawrence Berry

    Sep 27, 2015 at 2:13 am

    Maintaining motivation, perseverance, and staying committed are all the things you need to turn your dreams into reality. It can be hard to stay committed when you dont have the motivation and the right daily habits to make staying committed easier. Small wins, as you said, makes the larger goal more realized and also helps to keep you motivated. I was once pushed around by my circumstances because I always had a plan B. Having a plan B in the back of your mind can do more harm than good in a lot of cases because you don’t give plan A your all.

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Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Motivation

Your Fears Suck And That’s Why You Must Rinse And Repeat.

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Waking up at 6 am today to go and have a blood test is my worst nightmare.

I’m so damn fearful of needles and it makes me feel sick.

When my doctor said it was time to have a blood test and 10X my energy, I was pumped and crippled with fear at the same time.

 

This sucks big time.

Every time I have a blood test, there’s this big build-up of fear, tension, sickness and everything else that sucks.

I rolled up at the pathology center to try and have my blood test before everyone else. I always walk in like I’m MacGyver until my name is called. Then as I walk to the room where the nurse is, all the confidence, body language and self-talk turns to crap.

The nurse looks at me strangely. I haven’t had this one before. She’s thinking “Geez this guy looks like he’s about to crap his pants, or vomit, or maybe both.”

Why am I so fearful with these routine tests? Probably because I had a few strange experiences when I was a kid and the adult in me still hasn’t forgotten that innocent kid with blue eyes, white blonde hair and the change the world attitude he’s always had.

Back to my story. So, the nurse begins taking my blood and it takes time as she needs to fill up two tubes. It felt like an eternity although the pain was pretty minor – yay!

We get to the end of the test and I’m celebrating like a drunk who’s just woken up and realized he’d won $10k at the casino the night before.

Then the nurse is like “Houston we have a problem.”

My face turns white. “What’s the problem?”

The nurse says “We can only do these tests between Monday to Thursday. Any other day is prohibited. That’s what head office says.”

I’m thinking to myself lots of nasty thoughts like “Well you tell head office to go F themselves!”

I speak with my doctor and he confirms that this is correct. Basically, I have to go through this fearful experiment all over again in a few days’ time.

 

Rinse and repeat.

I go back to the pathology center a few days later and have the test again. It’s a pain in the backside but it must be done. Here’s what’s awesome: I’ve never done multiple blood tests in a short space of time. Doing the test again made this horrible feeling so much easier.

I walked in, did my thing, and walked out. I remembered how to breathe. I remembered how to relax. And I knew what had to be done.

“Facing the same fear multiple times within a few days began to crush all my negative energy”

 

Fears won’t suck as much after a bit of practice.

This fear of blood tests has now changed. It’s still a bit challenging but nowhere near as bad.

My mind has gotten used to what has to happen because practice has made the situation almost perfect.

We all have fears and overcoming them is about embracing the suck, giving it a go and then repeating the process.

Each time you face a fear like blood tests, it gets a little bit easier each time. Sometimes the gains are enormous and other times the gains are small. None the less, facing your fears creates some momentum towards conquering your fear.

Challenging your fears is how you get up close and personal with them. All it takes is a bit of courage and one question: What’s the worst that can happen?

For me, my arm could have fallen off, she could have caused me great pain or I could have passed out. None of these things will see me end up in the cemetery.

 

The feeling of overcoming fear.

Having significantly lessened my fear of blood tests has given me confidence. If I could conquer this massive mountain of internal pain, what else could I do that makes me fearful?

A better question would be, what fear is holding you back that you could practice getting better at?

We all have fears and we can all look them in the face, respect them for what they are, and then have a go at overcoming them.

The feeling of overcoming fear is so good. It gives you strength and resilience to fight the tougher fights. Doing the things that are uncomfortable is how you build a level of comfort that can put you at the top of your field.

We all have fears and those of us who practice overcoming our fears are the ones who get to taste a feeling of success like no other.

Your fears suck but you can overcome them with practice just like I did.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Embrace The Suck.

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Embrace the Suck

I suck at spreadsheets.
I suck at maths because numbers do my head in.
I suck at attending meetings because I just want action.

You will suck at your first blog post.
You will suck at your first startup, and the one after that, and so on.
You will suck at giving your first speech.

We all suck 24/7.

None of us are 100% motivated all the time.
None of us get anything right the first time – unless it’s a fluke.

We all have nightmares of our failures.
We all secretly want to be perfect – even me.

 

It’s time to embrace the suck.

A lot about life F*cking sucks hard.

My #EmbraceTheSuck story (thanks Sina Fak for the idea) was failing at high school and dropping out. After a break, I went back and finished high school, and the only subjects I excelled at were music and English.

Even though the headmaster told me I’d always be a no good, punk a$$, drop out, I proved him wrong.

I used my expertise in English to become a blogger and that’s why I’m writing these words to you right now.

I failed in the short-term, but by persevering at school, it eventually led me to right now. I could have done nothing and become a bum. I could have listened to my headmaster and agreed with him.

I knew that I was destined to do something big and I believe the movement I’m creating right now is part of my crazy goal to change the world.

All of us can succeed when we embrace the suck and persevere.

“We can listen to our critics or we can lift the middle finger at them and keep going”

Making it through the suck made me smarter, more courageous and it helped me build a newfound resilience.

 

How do we embrace the suck?

1. Be prepared to fail.
2. Look like an idiot.
3. Be willing to start at the bottom
4. Persevere
5. Challenge the critics

When everything sucks, get back up.
Have a second go even if there’s no reason too.
Back yourself and believe you can push through the suck.

 

Embrace the suck is a call to action.

It’s about being prepared to eat sh*t because the upside makes it worth it. It’s about doing what so many are not prepared to do because you believe in yourself.

It’s about taking action and executing instead of being a daydreamer and being stuck in a foreplay of ideas, dreams, goals that never happen.

Starting at the bottom and sucking harder is how you get to the top.

Once you arrive at the top, make sure you help other people who are embracing the suck.

Let’s all commit to doing more things that suck and being okay with it. Let’s challenge each other to be courageous.

If I can go from being a high school dropout to making something of myself, then why the heck can’t you?

Embrace the suck because that’s what the people you idolize and anyone you’ve ever looked up to did.

Embracing the suck is part of life.

“Hello, adversity. Come at me!”

 

One day you’ll look back on all the sucky moments and be proud.

That’s the cherry on top of the cake right there.

That is all the motivation you need to embrace the suck.

 

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Keep Going – Never Give Up. Good People Are Always Rewarded.

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Last week there was some real lows. This week there have been some major highs.

At one point, it looked like my career was down the toilet. Everything I worked for looked like it was done.

The reality is that when you hit a low point, there’s always an upside. The point where you want to give up is just the beginning of something new and amazing. When you hit that low, it’s so easy to want to give up.

You feel like you can’t go on and the odds are stacked against you.

Everything and everyone feel like they are working against your vision for your life. Most of all, you don’t know why you’ve suddenly hit this giant low point that feels like it’s going to last forever.

Your motivation is non-existent; you get out of bed and feel like crap; you’re not sure what today will mean – or the next for that matter.

All of this is fine. No, I’m not giving you some empty promise or meaningless reason to go on. What I’m telling you is that you must keep going. Even though you feel like you can’t, you must!

“All of these low points mean something. All of these low points turn into one giant moment of triumph if you keep stacking them up like shot glasses after a big night”

 

Good people are rewarded.

As long as you do your absolute best to be a good person, eventually your life will change.

All those small things you did for people will be remembered.
Someone will give you a chance and believe in you.
An opportunity will come from nowhere that you never expected.

Rewards always come for those who have earned it. How do you earn those rewards? By being a kind, humble and good person that serves the greater good. Let’s dumb it down further. You get the rewards by:

1. Helping people who have nothing
2. Smiling at as many people as you can
3. Answering messages on social media and helping people without getting anything in return
4. Staying positive through books and blogs like this
5. Waiting out the winter cold for summer to come into your life again

This list of five things is how you remain a good person through the chaos that we all experience. Many people say “That sounds easy Tim, but it’s harder than you think.”

That’s why I’ve made it practical with these five points.

 

How my luck changed this week.

I followed this formula I’ve laid out, and this week my luck changed. All of a sudden, I got multiple opportunities to do work that I love and get paid well for it so that I can focus on my blogging.

The messages I got with these opportunities all started with something like this:

“Thank you for sharing your story and having the guts to do so. You’ve inspired me and I appreciate it. I’d love to chat to you about opportunity X. Are you free for a few minutes?”

Then I got two more emails from television networks wanting me to spread some inspiration on their respective shows.

Your luck will change and opportunities will be presented to you if you keep going, never give up and continue being a good person.

It’s a long road towards getting up close and personal with your most important goal but if you stay the path, stay focused and be the person that makes you proud, it will happen.

 

Keep going.

So, if you’ve ever felt like I felt when my career went down the toilet last week, or you’re feeling that way right now, you must keep going.

I believe you can get what you seek if you remain focused and don’t let the negative emotions in your head take over. I know it’s tough but that’s no excuse. If you want your goals bad enough, then you’ll keep motivated to push through the rejection and failure.

Use selflessness to change your perspective. Look at yourself in the third person. See who you are now and who you can be. All of us can be leaders and when we look at ourselves without our self-talk and ego’s in the way, we can see who we really are.

Dare to dream a little. Don’t be afraid to think big. If you have crazy, audacious goals, then that’s even better.

Don’t be talked out of your mission.
Let your passion rip through the barriers that stand in your way.

Never give up. Keep going.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

We All Have It Tough – It’s What You Do With The Struggle.

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Lots of my people who read my stuff email me with their struggles. They’re hoping that I will be blown away by how hard they’ve had it. They think it’s some sort of competition to see who has the most battle scars.

By reading so many of these emails of struggle over the last few years, I realized something: we all have it tough. All of us struggle – even me.

– Right now, I have 14 days left until I’ll be out of a job.
– I’ve got some very challenging personal issues to deal with.
– My investments need a major rework and I’m completely lost.

I’ve been offered an opportunity to do public speaking to a large audience and am scared of whether I should say yes. Do I have what it takes? Will I mess it up?

We all have it tough.

What I’ve learned is it’s what you do with the struggle that will define your future.

 

Are you going to sit there and take it?

That’s right I’m asking you right now. What are you going to do with the struggles?

There are only two options:

1. Toughen up and use the struggles as motivation
2. Be a piss weak, sook, and give up.

Your struggles can take you to a new level. When George Lucas tried to make Star Wars, it was a total F*ck up. Everything went wrong. There were natural disasters, lack of money and even the actors thought it was the worse film ever to be made.

Did the creator of the Jedi Knight give up?

Not a chance. He kept going and defied the odds. His reward? One of the most watched movies of all time and plenty of cash to go with it.

You may still be thinking option two is your only hope. Maybe you could be piss weak and just give up. Then you could sit on the couch, watch Netflix, drink wine and pretend that your struggles didn’t stop you from achieving your goals.

 

The good news is giving up works short-term. The bad news?

After the short-term gain of giving up, and getting to Netflix and chill, you’ll be really pissed off at yourself. You’ll have regret and feel even worse than before you began your journey of struggle. Not getting your goals and making next to no progress feels like crap.I spent several years doing this.

“Every night I would get home, watch a Hollywood movie, go to 7-Eleven for some sugar and send useless texts to the toxic people in my life”

These same people were going nowhere and telling me to give up.

Screw that. I did this for a while and felt so empty. Life had no meaning and I was making no impact. The sugar diet made me sick and I ended up becoming bedridden.

 

The struggle is the beginning.

Looking back, without the struggle, I would have never got off my lazy ass and actually taken action. When I say “It’s what you do with the struggle,” what I mean is this:

Having it tough and struggling – like trying to walk up a hill while there’s a mudslide happening at the exact same time – is a big fat signal that you’re onto something.

The motivation and momentum you need to get started is right there in front of your blue eyes.

“You can’t get started on some mammoth task to change your life unless you get pissed off and do it tough”

If you were doing it easy, there’d be no urgent reason to take action.

When you’re like me and you are about to be unemployed, have lots of tough decisions to make and are unsatisfied with your career progression to date, you have to embrace your circumstances.

Now, this sounds like a lot of big words that you’d read in some 2000-page self-help book that repeats the same ideas over and over.

I’m going to dumb it right down:

The struggle is a sign to get started. When you struggle, things can’t really get much worse. What you’re left with is nothing but upside.

 

What action do we take then when we’re struggling?

Let’s use my situation as an example. Here are the action steps I’m using and implementing this week:

1. Accept where you are right now
– This will give you a reality check.

2. Meditate to relax your busy brain
– Stress will force you to make dumb decisions.

3. Get really uncomfortable
– I said yes to a new business venture that involves a lot of public speaking.

4. Resist the temptation to be pissed off
– Getting angry is only going to make things worse. Reserve your energy.

5. Write three things a day you’re grateful for
– This will force you to find the positive.

6. Delete whingers, sooks, liars and complainers from your contact list
– You’ve got enough issues; it’s hard enough to be positive without having toxic people talk nonsense and distract you.

 

Final step: Chill out amigo.

Your world is not going to end tomorrow. You can always start again. You can always fall down and get straight back up. Don’t be so angry with yourself. We all struggle and you’re doing the best that you can. Focus your energy on building your confidence and supporting your growth mindset.

“My future looks like a nuclear apocalypse right now but I’ve learned through the struggles that I always come out the other side on top”

Being impatient and stressing will only bring on more problems for you. It’s not that bad. Things always turn around. This moment of struggle and how you handle it will define who you become.

All of us have unlimited potential and we’re all struggling every day.

Once you learn to accept the struggle, embrace it and see it as a seed to something better, you’ll be well on your way to becoming someone you’re proud of.

Wish me luck with the struggles coming in the next few weeks. We’re in this together don’t forget.

Peace, love, respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

3 Simple Steps to Remove Drama From Your Life Immediately

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drama

You come home, tired from work, and as soon as you open the door, the drama hits you in the face. Either your boyfriend/girlfriend is throwing a tantrum which ends up in a full-out fight for hours or your boss has a love/hate relationship with you and gives you so many responsibilities that you end up working late in the night. Maybe it is simply your parents who keep forcing you to take the job, partner or university you don’t really want. (more…)

Bruno Boksic is a writer at Medium.com. An avid reader of personal development books, with a 7-year long experience of helping people become the best version of themselves. I don't have all the answers, but the ones I do, I share through my writing.  You can contact me at boksicbruno@gmail.com

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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Hindi India

    Apr 23, 2017 at 2:07 am

    Thank you for so useful article!
    Started doing these points and even for a short period of time I can see the result. Everything is possible if you do it regularly and efficiently.

  2. Charlene Rhinehart

    Jan 31, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    Great advice, Jose! Your dreams are like a marriage. You can’t cheat on your dreams and expect it to work. Committing to your dreams may be the most challenging step in the process but it will pay dividends later. I always try to find like-minded people with similar goals who can hold me accountable.

  3. Jose Ramos

    Sep 27, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    Lawrence, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I love your insights about being pushed around due to having a plan B in the back of your mind.

  4. Thedore Nwangene

    Sep 27, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    A very inspirational post Jose,
    Setting a goal is not usually the main work, its in achieving those goals that we often fail at. However, in as much as its good to set big goals for yourself, its also proper to always divide those goals into smaller parts so that you won’t get overwhelmed while trying to hit the big goal.

    We need motivation to succeed in everyday life and without it, we will always feel down and defeated. Also like you mentioned, maintaining good habits is also very necessary to transform any dream to reality, you have to be able to form the habit of pushing harder even when you don’t feel like because this is the only way to get there.

    • Jose Ramos

      Sep 27, 2015 at 4:58 pm

      Thanks Thedore! Great point about pushing harder when you don’t feel like it. There are always moments when you want to give up on the goal.

  5. Lawrence Berry

    Sep 27, 2015 at 2:13 am

    Maintaining motivation, perseverance, and staying committed are all the things you need to turn your dreams into reality. It can be hard to stay committed when you dont have the motivation and the right daily habits to make staying committed easier. Small wins, as you said, makes the larger goal more realized and also helps to keep you motivated. I was once pushed around by my circumstances because I always had a plan B. Having a plan B in the back of your mind can do more harm than good in a lot of cases because you don’t give plan A your all.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Motivation

Your Fears Suck And That’s Why You Must Rinse And Repeat.

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Waking up at 6 am today to go and have a blood test is my worst nightmare.

I’m so damn fearful of needles and it makes me feel sick.

When my doctor said it was time to have a blood test and 10X my energy, I was pumped and crippled with fear at the same time.

 

This sucks big time.

Every time I have a blood test, there’s this big build-up of fear, tension, sickness and everything else that sucks.

I rolled up at the pathology center to try and have my blood test before everyone else. I always walk in like I’m MacGyver until my name is called. Then as I walk to the room where the nurse is, all the confidence, body language and self-talk turns to crap.

The nurse looks at me strangely. I haven’t had this one before. She’s thinking “Geez this guy looks like he’s about to crap his pants, or vomit, or maybe both.”

Why am I so fearful with these routine tests? Probably because I had a few strange experiences when I was a kid and the adult in me still hasn’t forgotten that innocent kid with blue eyes, white blonde hair and the change the world attitude he’s always had.

Back to my story. So, the nurse begins taking my blood and it takes time as she needs to fill up two tubes. It felt like an eternity although the pain was pretty minor – yay!

We get to the end of the test and I’m celebrating like a drunk who’s just woken up and realized he’d won $10k at the casino the night before.

Then the nurse is like “Houston we have a problem.”

My face turns white. “What’s the problem?”

The nurse says “We can only do these tests between Monday to Thursday. Any other day is prohibited. That’s what head office says.”

I’m thinking to myself lots of nasty thoughts like “Well you tell head office to go F themselves!”

I speak with my doctor and he confirms that this is correct. Basically, I have to go through this fearful experiment all over again in a few days’ time.

 

Rinse and repeat.

I go back to the pathology center a few days later and have the test again. It’s a pain in the backside but it must be done. Here’s what’s awesome: I’ve never done multiple blood tests in a short space of time. Doing the test again made this horrible feeling so much easier.

I walked in, did my thing, and walked out. I remembered how to breathe. I remembered how to relax. And I knew what had to be done.

“Facing the same fear multiple times within a few days began to crush all my negative energy”

 

Fears won’t suck as much after a bit of practice.

This fear of blood tests has now changed. It’s still a bit challenging but nowhere near as bad.

My mind has gotten used to what has to happen because practice has made the situation almost perfect.

We all have fears and overcoming them is about embracing the suck, giving it a go and then repeating the process.

Each time you face a fear like blood tests, it gets a little bit easier each time. Sometimes the gains are enormous and other times the gains are small. None the less, facing your fears creates some momentum towards conquering your fear.

Challenging your fears is how you get up close and personal with them. All it takes is a bit of courage and one question: What’s the worst that can happen?

For me, my arm could have fallen off, she could have caused me great pain or I could have passed out. None of these things will see me end up in the cemetery.

 

The feeling of overcoming fear.

Having significantly lessened my fear of blood tests has given me confidence. If I could conquer this massive mountain of internal pain, what else could I do that makes me fearful?

A better question would be, what fear is holding you back that you could practice getting better at?

We all have fears and we can all look them in the face, respect them for what they are, and then have a go at overcoming them.

The feeling of overcoming fear is so good. It gives you strength and resilience to fight the tougher fights. Doing the things that are uncomfortable is how you build a level of comfort that can put you at the top of your field.

We all have fears and those of us who practice overcoming our fears are the ones who get to taste a feeling of success like no other.

Your fears suck but you can overcome them with practice just like I did.

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Motivation

Embrace The Suck.

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Embrace the Suck

I suck at spreadsheets.
I suck at maths because numbers do my head in.
I suck at attending meetings because I just want action.

You will suck at your first blog post.
You will suck at your first startup, and the one after that, and so on.
You will suck at giving your first speech.

We all suck 24/7.

None of us are 100% motivated all the time.
None of us get anything right the first time – unless it’s a fluke.

We all have nightmares of our failures.
We all secretly want to be perfect – even me.

 

It’s time to embrace the suck.

A lot about life F*cking sucks hard.

My #EmbraceTheSuck story (thanks Sina Fak for the idea) was failing at high school and dropping out. After a break, I went back and finished high school, and the only subjects I excelled at were music and English.

Even though the headmaster told me I’d always be a no good, punk a$$, drop out, I proved him wrong.

I used my expertise in English to become a blogger and that’s why I’m writing these words to you right now.

I failed in the short-term, but by persevering at school, it eventually led me to right now. I could have done nothing and become a bum. I could have listened to my headmaster and agreed with him.

I knew that I was destined to do something big and I believe the movement I’m creating right now is part of my crazy goal to change the world.

All of us can succeed when we embrace the suck and persevere.

“We can listen to our critics or we can lift the middle finger at them and keep going”

Making it through the suck made me smarter, more courageous and it helped me build a newfound resilience.

 

How do we embrace the suck?

1. Be prepared to fail.
2. Look like an idiot.
3. Be willing to start at the bottom
4. Persevere
5. Challenge the critics

When everything sucks, get back up.
Have a second go even if there’s no reason too.
Back yourself and believe you can push through the suck.

 

Embrace the suck is a call to action.

It’s about being prepared to eat sh*t because the upside makes it worth it. It’s about doing what so many are not prepared to do because you believe in yourself.

It’s about taking action and executing instead of being a daydreamer and being stuck in a foreplay of ideas, dreams, goals that never happen.

Starting at the bottom and sucking harder is how you get to the top.

Once you arrive at the top, make sure you help other people who are embracing the suck.

Let’s all commit to doing more things that suck and being okay with it. Let’s challenge each other to be courageous.

If I can go from being a high school dropout to making something of myself, then why the heck can’t you?

Embrace the suck because that’s what the people you idolize and anyone you’ve ever looked up to did.

Embracing the suck is part of life.

“Hello, adversity. Come at me!”

 

One day you’ll look back on all the sucky moments and be proud.

That’s the cherry on top of the cake right there.

That is all the motivation you need to embrace the suck.

 

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Motivation

Keep Going – Never Give Up. Good People Are Always Rewarded.

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Last week there was some real lows. This week there have been some major highs.

At one point, it looked like my career was down the toilet. Everything I worked for looked like it was done.

The reality is that when you hit a low point, there’s always an upside. The point where you want to give up is just the beginning of something new and amazing. When you hit that low, it’s so easy to want to give up.

You feel like you can’t go on and the odds are stacked against you.

Everything and everyone feel like they are working against your vision for your life. Most of all, you don’t know why you’ve suddenly hit this giant low point that feels like it’s going to last forever.

Your motivation is non-existent; you get out of bed and feel like crap; you’re not sure what today will mean – or the next for that matter.

All of this is fine. No, I’m not giving you some empty promise or meaningless reason to go on. What I’m telling you is that you must keep going. Even though you feel like you can’t, you must!

“All of these low points mean something. All of these low points turn into one giant moment of triumph if you keep stacking them up like shot glasses after a big night”

 

Good people are rewarded.

As long as you do your absolute best to be a good person, eventually your life will change.

All those small things you did for people will be remembered.
Someone will give you a chance and believe in you.
An opportunity will come from nowhere that you never expected.

Rewards always come for those who have earned it. How do you earn those rewards? By being a kind, humble and good person that serves the greater good. Let’s dumb it down further. You get the rewards by:

1. Helping people who have nothing
2. Smiling at as many people as you can
3. Answering messages on social media and helping people without getting anything in return
4. Staying positive through books and blogs like this
5. Waiting out the winter cold for summer to come into your life again

This list of five things is how you remain a good person through the chaos that we all experience. Many people say “That sounds easy Tim, but it’s harder than you think.”

That’s why I’ve made it practical with these five points.

 

How my luck changed this week.

I followed this formula I’ve laid out, and this week my luck changed. All of a sudden, I got multiple opportunities to do work that I love and get paid well for it so that I can focus on my blogging.

The messages I got with these opportunities all started with something like this:

“Thank you for sharing your story and having the guts to do so. You’ve inspired me and I appreciate it. I’d love to chat to you about opportunity X. Are you free for a few minutes?”

Then I got two more emails from television networks wanting me to spread some inspiration on their respective shows.

Your luck will change and opportunities will be presented to you if you keep going, never give up and continue being a good person.

It’s a long road towards getting up close and personal with your most important goal but if you stay the path, stay focused and be the person that makes you proud, it will happen.

 

Keep going.

So, if you’ve ever felt like I felt when my career went down the toilet last week, or you’re feeling that way right now, you must keep going.

I believe you can get what you seek if you remain focused and don’t let the negative emotions in your head take over. I know it’s tough but that’s no excuse. If you want your goals bad enough, then you’ll keep motivated to push through the rejection and failure.

Use selflessness to change your perspective. Look at yourself in the third person. See who you are now and who you can be. All of us can be leaders and when we look at ourselves without our self-talk and ego’s in the way, we can see who we really are.

Dare to dream a little. Don’t be afraid to think big. If you have crazy, audacious goals, then that’s even better.

Don’t be talked out of your mission.
Let your passion rip through the barriers that stand in your way.

Never give up. Keep going.

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Motivation

We All Have It Tough – It’s What You Do With The Struggle.

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Lots of my people who read my stuff email me with their struggles. They’re hoping that I will be blown away by how hard they’ve had it. They think it’s some sort of competition to see who has the most battle scars.

By reading so many of these emails of struggle over the last few years, I realized something: we all have it tough. All of us struggle – even me.

– Right now, I have 14 days left until I’ll be out of a job.
– I’ve got some very challenging personal issues to deal with.
– My investments need a major rework and I’m completely lost.

I’ve been offered an opportunity to do public speaking to a large audience and am scared of whether I should say yes. Do I have what it takes? Will I mess it up?

We all have it tough.

What I’ve learned is it’s what you do with the struggle that will define your future.

 

Are you going to sit there and take it?

That’s right I’m asking you right now. What are you going to do with the struggles?

There are only two options:

1. Toughen up and use the struggles as motivation
2. Be a piss weak, sook, and give up.

Your struggles can take you to a new level. When George Lucas tried to make Star Wars, it was a total F*ck up. Everything went wrong. There were natural disasters, lack of money and even the actors thought it was the worse film ever to be made.

Did the creator of the Jedi Knight give up?

Not a chance. He kept going and defied the odds. His reward? One of the most watched movies of all time and plenty of cash to go with it.

You may still be thinking option two is your only hope. Maybe you could be piss weak and just give up. Then you could sit on the couch, watch Netflix, drink wine and pretend that your struggles didn’t stop you from achieving your goals.

 

The good news is giving up works short-term. The bad news?

After the short-term gain of giving up, and getting to Netflix and chill, you’ll be really pissed off at yourself. You’ll have regret and feel even worse than before you began your journey of struggle. Not getting your goals and making next to no progress feels like crap.I spent several years doing this.

“Every night I would get home, watch a Hollywood movie, go to 7-Eleven for some sugar and send useless texts to the toxic people in my life”

These same people were going nowhere and telling me to give up.

Screw that. I did this for a while and felt so empty. Life had no meaning and I was making no impact. The sugar diet made me sick and I ended up becoming bedridden.

 

The struggle is the beginning.

Looking back, without the struggle, I would have never got off my lazy ass and actually taken action. When I say “It’s what you do with the struggle,” what I mean is this:

Having it tough and struggling – like trying to walk up a hill while there’s a mudslide happening at the exact same time – is a big fat signal that you’re onto something.

The motivation and momentum you need to get started is right there in front of your blue eyes.

“You can’t get started on some mammoth task to change your life unless you get pissed off and do it tough”

If you were doing it easy, there’d be no urgent reason to take action.

When you’re like me and you are about to be unemployed, have lots of tough decisions to make and are unsatisfied with your career progression to date, you have to embrace your circumstances.

Now, this sounds like a lot of big words that you’d read in some 2000-page self-help book that repeats the same ideas over and over.

I’m going to dumb it right down:

The struggle is a sign to get started. When you struggle, things can’t really get much worse. What you’re left with is nothing but upside.

 

What action do we take then when we’re struggling?

Let’s use my situation as an example. Here are the action steps I’m using and implementing this week:

1. Accept where you are right now
– This will give you a reality check.

2. Meditate to relax your busy brain
– Stress will force you to make dumb decisions.

3. Get really uncomfortable
– I said yes to a new business venture that involves a lot of public speaking.

4. Resist the temptation to be pissed off
– Getting angry is only going to make things worse. Reserve your energy.

5. Write three things a day you’re grateful for
– This will force you to find the positive.

6. Delete whingers, sooks, liars and complainers from your contact list
– You’ve got enough issues; it’s hard enough to be positive without having toxic people talk nonsense and distract you.

 

Final step: Chill out amigo.

Your world is not going to end tomorrow. You can always start again. You can always fall down and get straight back up. Don’t be so angry with yourself. We all struggle and you’re doing the best that you can. Focus your energy on building your confidence and supporting your growth mindset.

“My future looks like a nuclear apocalypse right now but I’ve learned through the struggles that I always come out the other side on top”

Being impatient and stressing will only bring on more problems for you. It’s not that bad. Things always turn around. This moment of struggle and how you handle it will define who you become.

All of us have unlimited potential and we’re all struggling every day.

Once you learn to accept the struggle, embrace it and see it as a seed to something better, you’ll be well on your way to becoming someone you’re proud of.

Wish me luck with the struggles coming in the next few weeks. We’re in this together don’t forget.

Peace, love, respect.

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