Life
Your Gut Feeling Is More Important Than You Think

Have you ever played with Runes, Tarot Cards or consulted the I Ching to get an answer to a major life question? I have. When I don’t like the answer, I “fish” again until I am satisfied with the outcome. Interpretation is everything. In fact, in my book Follow Your Bliss, Not Your Blisters, I teach a technique for learning how to tap into “happy” at any time. Understanding the role interpretation plays in our lives is fundamental to how much we can rise above negativity and be in control of our thoughts and emotions.
Intuition is the divine guidance we have been given to successfully navigate our lives. At times of indecision, we are very likely to dismiss our gut feeling as just another voice in our head, but it is not. Gut feelings are the “how to” book of your life. Very often we “know” what to do about a situation, but we have so many “reasons” for why we don’t take right action that we go astray.
I was working for Hilton Hotels and was transferred to Atlanta. Prior to that transfer, I had dated a colleague in Florida who had worked in Atlanta and called him for his advice about where to live. When he told me his old address, I went there to find a place. As fate would have it, the ground floor apartment they showed me was his exact old haunt. There was a ditch outside which I envisioned would be a lake one day with a swan on it, the town was cute, so I said, “OK, I’m in.”
Except for one thing. My whole being knew I shouldn’t live there. It felt “dangerous,” but the neighbors seemed nice enough and there was a lovely pool. I called friends and family and inquired if they ever felt bad vibes walking into a place, public or private. I really didn’t need their answers. I knew I shouldn’t be there. Cut to the chase. The day the movers arrived, I went to the apartment only to find a sign HANGING ON MY DOOR warning that there had been personal attacks in the complex and to be careful.
“Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.” – Jonas Salk
Ignoring my fear that was now confirmed by the note on the door, I moved in. Three days later, my house was broken into while I was asleep and I was, indeed, attacked. One thing I will add is that as the attacker held me with a knife in my neck telling me he was going to kill me, I tried to resist like any 5’2, 101-pound person might. Immediately, I heard a loud voice in my head saying: “Don’t resist.” I followed the sudden intuition screaming at me and that is why I am here to tell the story.
Medical science says our “gut” is in constant and direct communication with our brain and vice-versa. We even use the idiom “my gut tells me” when we want to affirm something. Usually though, when we are not sure what action we should take, we tune into our thoughts. Our thoughts are so very rarely clear. Logic is not perfect and is anti-intuitive. Pros and cons can’t be balanced, but you can count on the feeling in your gut.
The exercise you need to try
Here’s what you do. Let’s say you are offered a job that excites you but requires you to move 3,000 miles away from your friends, family, and the cute doctor you are dating. “What to do, oh my.”
Sit quietly, be mindful of the question, and as you are doing so, sense what is going on physically in your gut. You will either feel expansion – a sense of lightness and excitement, or a sense of dread. It will be clear. It is intuitive. Anything you do after that is up to you, but we all have this guiding light built in. The person you are dating may be smart, funny, and generous but what’s with all those slurs about your weight, your hair color, your family. Hmmmm, think again. Rather, gut again!
I think even the word intuition is interesting. We pay institutions tuition to get essential knowledge and growth but the path our journey takes us on is an inside job. To follow your intuition is to follow your bliss in the name of positive experience and brilliant expansion.
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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