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You Make Your Own Decisions – They’re Not Made For You!



It’s time to get real for a second.

An acquaintance tried to tell me last week that she wasn’t in control of her decisions.
That’s BS.

You put your profile on Tinder….

And sent your ex-boyfriend a nasty text message…

And had sex with that stranger you met out…

And you can’t control your horniness and not sleep with every guy that says hello…

it’s all you and not the NoDoz

For the record, I had no idea what NoDoz were until I Googled them after seeing this acquaintance put the name in a text message. The NoDoz tablets that hype you up on caffeine are not to blame silly lady. You are to blame.

You make the dumb decisions like sleeping around. You decide to wake up in the middle of the night and put out a whole lot of negative energy into the world in the form of very mean text messages. This negativity then comes back to slap you in the face the next day and you wonder why?

My advice is always the same

Drum roll, please…..

You make your own decisions, nobody else. Not the caffeine pills, not your hormone enraged body – you do!

“My advice is always the same: If you want to change your life then make better decisions”

Make a bloody game of it if you must. Keep score and count the good decisions compared to the bad ones. Aim to make more good decisions and you’ll see your results change.

Warning! Law of attraction

This acquaintance asks me religiously why she keeps attracting idiot guys into her life that lie and cheat on her. I told her it’s because of what she is putting out there. She’s doing dumb stuff 24/7, which she knows is dumb, and then expecting a different result.

Einstein’s definition of madness was doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. This is what this acquaintance is doing and the sad thing is it’s not that freaking uncommon.

“The cornerstone of any change or success is discipline”

If you keep opening your legs for any bloke that stands up and looks your way, you’re going to attract drama into your life.

Start being disciplined about everything that you do. Refrain from behaviors which you know are bad. What’s so frustrating about this acquaintance is that she knows her actions are all wrong. When you know something is wrong and you keep doing it anyway, you’ve got to understand that it’s the reason for your unhappiness.

When we keep breaking rules that we know are bad for us, we become very damn unhappy. Why would anyone want to be unhappy when we can live the life of our dreams?

So you’ve said some harsh words but now what Tim?

Okay, are you ready for the self-help advice that’s going to change your freaking life?

If some or all of what you’ve just read sounds like you or someone you know intimately well, it’s time to make a freaking change. Apologies for the simplistic nature of the advice I’m about to give you step by step.

Step One: Stop being selfish and being obsessed with you. Volunteer at a homeless shelter for one day and get some perspective.

Step Two: Go on a getaway where there is no phone, Internet or people who make you do dumb stuff. You must break the pattern.

Step Three: Get your ass to a Tony Robbins event. No, I don’t work for the giant man or get secret commissions from him. His content is real and will change the way you think. What you need is a very different way of thinking from the one you have now. You’re thinking like a chimp.

I don’t want to hear another word until you do…..

Until you do life in a way that doesn’t involve making lame ass decisions. Until you stop blaming caffeine pills (or external forces) for your unhappiness and start taking responsibility for yourself.

You’re in control for Christ sake. You’re not a robot with a default program that can never be changed. You can download new software in the form of books.

You can start doing stuff for other people instead of buying another handbag, dress or designer pair of sunnies because some Instagram mole told you to in her last sponsored post.

Have respect for yourself. Serve others. Get out of your own head. Break the pattern. One up your life. Self-help your ass back into shape.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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