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The Trouble With Life…

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On the cereal box of life, we’re not told what to expect. No one tells us how good the highs can be and how bad the lows can get.

The trouble with life is…

Days can easily blend into years

As we get older, the days seem to pass like years. We become so focused on getting to some end destination that we forget where we started. No one reminds us to cherish every day and stop multiple times a day to return to the here and now.

No one reminds us to escape the past and put the future on hold even if it’s only for a few minutes. These few minutes can change everything if you do it consistently.

The trouble with life is…

Being happy is harder than we think

We’re given a myriad of options daily to find something wrong with our life. All we have to do is turn a corner and there’s an advertisement trying to convince us of some falsity.

Happiness starts from within when you decide to stop letting your external environment dictate how you feel. Shielding yourself from the stormy weather than your external environment throws at you sounds more straightforward than it is.

“If you don’t learn to find happiness, then your default human mode is to be negative and pissed off”

Happiness takes discipline and very few of us put in the work.

The trouble with life is…

We’re all addicted

Addiction comes in many forms. We like to over consume things that feel good rather than finding that good feeling in what already exists in our mind. We become addicted to streaming television shows, sex, stimulants like coffee, sugar, acting superior, useless material objects and talking down to ourselves.

What if we acknowledged our addictions and decided to fight them? What if we refused to have too much of a good thing and not to plug voids with quick addiction fixes?

The empty space – also known as the voids in our life – is exactly what we need to thrive. The empty space leaves room for new experiences.

The trouble with life is…

Many of us forget so easily.

Those brains we use to steer through life make us forget stuff.

We…..

Forget how lucky we are.

If you’re reading this article, then it probably means you have the Internet. This means you’re already lucky and have access to infinite information. Any answer you want is available to you at the touch of a button. What many of you have forgotten is that the only answers worth knowing are found inside of you and not on the Internet.

Forget that our problems are small compared to the universe.

That morning at 8:30 am when you think you’re going to be late for a meeting is small compared to the real problems of this world. Global warming, starvation, aids, cancer and the list goes on, are far more important than your little problem of being late.

Forget to say thanks.

The most basic word in the dictionary and yet it’s not used enough. Remembering to say thanks and saying it like you mean it is something too many of us forget. You should never take anything from this life without appreciating it. The word “Thanks” makes you remember that everything is a blessing.

Forget we’re loved.

At times you’ll become very selfish and only focus on your needs. You’ll tell yourself that no one cares or that nobody loves you. You forget that you’re always loved. Whether it’s the person serving you at the grocery store, or your parents, or your friends, or someone you work with, or an ex-partner; somebody on this Earth loves you. Don’t ever forget that.

The trouble with life is…

Too many of us don’t ever reach our full potential

You and I have so much potential inside of us. We can rally people together to solve any problem we want. We can acquire any skill that we feel we’re lacking. The resources we have access to are infinite yet we still feel so empty and even poor at times.

There are so many things we can do yet the trouble with life is that nobody shows us what’s possible in our lives. We have to discover that potential by consistently trying to tap into it, and building habits that support our dream.

“Everyone reading this blog post can achieve gianormous dreams yet many of you are reading this, are looking for inspiration. You may feel lost yet all you need to understand is that you have unlimited potential”

You can only access that potential with a single decision and hard work. Your potential can be reached when you decide not to give up. You can reach that potential when you take action and don’t become addicted like a heroin addict to the result or influence / fame you may get by becoming world-class.

The trouble with life is…

One decision can change it all, yet we never make it.

How many of us actually make that decision though? How many of us eventually make that decision after reminiscing about it for years?

“The actions that come from making a decision are not what’s hard; it’s deciding to cut off all your other options and tearing up your “Plan B” to follow one path”

Having nothing but a Plan A takes guts and confidence that what you’re doing is the right choice.

What I’ve learned is that the right choice is always right if you believe it is. Bad decisions are only bad when you perceive they are. There are lessons in every decision which can make a single decision seem worthwhile if nothing else.

What if you were only one decision away from achieving more than anybody on the face of this Earth has achieved? What if you had the potential to cure cancer and you didn’t? That’s why you must make that decision to change everything. You could be preventing so many of us from accessing your gift.

The trouble with life is…

Rejection feels depressing.

This whole rejection thing may not be the “No” you think it is. Rejection could, in fact, be a sign that it’s just not the right outcome for right now. Repeat after me:

“Rejection really means not right now.”

Don’t let the outcome of a decision make you feel like crap and then label it with a word like rejection which makes you feel worse. Everything is a lesson and is education if you let it be. Rejection is really nothing more than education. Education in life makes you smarter and prepares you for the real challenges.

The trouble with life is…

Horrible stuff is going to happen…sorry.

Somehow we’re shocked when tragedy strikes. The older I’ve become, the less I’ve understood this. We’re all going to experience some horrible events in our life. Life is set up to be full of pain, death, heartbreak, sickness and failure.

If you focus on this list of toxic and horrific events, then that’s what you’ll feel. When you learn to deal with each one as a fact of life, you’re able to heal better. These events will happen and the way to move forward is to heal yourself and get back on your feet.

No one said life was easy. The part we miss is that life is not easy for anyone. This horrible cocktail of events is going to happen to us all. Plan for the worst to happen and so when it does at least you’re prepared. Strengthen your mind in the following ways:

– Meditate
– Learn to deal with extreme stresses
– Practice gratitude for what you have
– Become a beautiful human being
– Build a quality network of people that can support you in these challenging times

The trouble with life is…

Life is hard for all of us. With that said, life has more sunshine and beauty than we could ever imagine. The trouble with life is nothing….life is a gift when you practice seeing it that way.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Aussie Blogger with 500M+ views — Writer for CNBC & Business Insider. Inspiring the world through Personal Development and Entrepreneurship You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.com

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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