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4 Bold Decisions That Will Stop You From Being Unhappy

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Your happiness is mostly shaped by your decisions. Changing the way you feel requires you to make tough decisions that you haven’t made before. We all want to do this but fear get’s in the way and stops us from taking action.

Being comfortable and making decisions that are easy will get you absolutely nowhere. Your happiness is important, and you should spend time finding ways to live life on your terms. The advice in this blog post is challenging. The decisions I have outlined require you to be bold.

If you make one, or better yet, all of these four decisions below you’ll have some proven strategies to stop you from being unhappy. Here they are:

 

1. Start a website

Find something you love talking about and then start a website. Spend every minute you have spare building up the content and then sharing it on your existing social media accounts. There is something that happens in your mind when you focus on a passion you have.

Even if no one ever visits your website, the process of creating and maintaining the site will make you happy. It will take time to carve and your niche and the unique angle that you bring. If you focus for long enough, you’ll eventually have people coming to your website.

Whether your website lasts, will be determined by your patience. A successful website takes a few years to create, so you’ll have to settle with short term happiness in the meantime which I think is a pretty good trade off. Don’t you?

 

2. Break up with that person who causes you pain

The person could be a romantic partner, family member, or even a friend. Sit down and think about how this person makes you feel. Are they building you up or tearing you down emotionally. Contemplate these thoughts for a week.

See if you feel any different. Read personal development books. One morning, go outside while it’s dark and walk to the nearest hill. Stand on top of it and watch the sunrise. Think again about how this person makes you feel. Are you really convinced that they’re making your life better?

As hard as these thoughts are going to be, you have to be honest with yourself. Lying to yourself is sabotaging your long-term success. Think about Uncle Garry who is fifty years old, with no friends, no partner, and no kids. Is that really what happiness is all about?

Understand that no bold decision is going to be easy. In fact, nothing in life is easy. Let this idea be proven by reading Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biography. After reading the book, you’ll understand what hard work is and how it relates to the bold decision you have avoided for so long.

Try a few months away from the person. Notice how your life is different. See how good it is not to live with other people’s pain being forced upon you. Some nights will be tough, and you may shed a tear or too. That’s fine, and we all do even if we are too afraid to admit it.

Buy a new outfit. One that makes you feel good about yourself. Pick up the phone and call someone who you would prefer to spend time with. Go and hang out with them. Think to yourself whether these new positive feelings feel much better than the past ones you endured from this person who causes you so much pain.

Be bold. Go to a place where there is lots of singing. Stand up with the people around you and sing with them. See the power of collaboration and what music can do to you. Feel the chills down your spine and remember what this feeling is like.

breaking-up-with-someone
Late one night, text your work buddies and tell them how much you enjoy working with them. Highlight some of the things they do well. Watch the flood of text messages come back and realise that you create your own reality.

The pain you’ve endured has been your choice the whole time. Pain is guaranteed, but suffering is up to you. Don’t let external factors take you away from what you were put on this planet to do. Only you know why you’re here and everyone’s opinions about this quest are nothing but noise.

Watch your life become nothing more than chasing new experiences. Get used to jumping on planes, cruising on buses, and being happy for once. See your suitcase age along with your own body. Know that there is an end in sight for all of us and commit to enjoying the here and now.

As you get to the baggage carousel at the airport, see your suitcase come down the conveyer belt completely ruined and torn to shreds. Know that this is a mortality lesson in disguise.

Come home once in a while and have lunch with the people you truly missed. These people are now more evident to you because you’ve been away. Listen to songs that put a smile on your face and don’t be afraid to fist pump the air once in a while, even while you’re on the train going to the office.

The cute girl sitting next to you laughs at your dance moves, and you know that you’ve at least improved one person’s life today. The challenge is now how you do this more often. The challenge is how you take the pain from this person who you have to break up with and turn it into positive energy to heal other people’s suffering.

“You’ll realise that your disadvantages are actually your advantages and vice versa.“

As the weekend rolls around, head to the beach and learn how to kite surf. Who cares what you look like it’s another new experience. Stand up on the board, while on the sand, and think how cool you are. Then, go out on the water and try to do the same and see how challenging it is.

kite-surfingSpend the rest of the day at the beach, falling over and never getting up on your board. Embrace all the failure and remember that your success lies on the other side. Keep practicing and having people laugh at you until you finally stand on the board for five seconds.

Then, you stand for 10, 15, 20, 55 seconds, and finally a whole minute. While you’re no expert, you can now stand on your own two feet. See the awesomeness in this life lesson and tie these thoughts back to the person you have to break up with.

Maybe your breakup with this person is like learning how to kite surf. You’re a smart cookie and deep down you know it. Each day, you continue to grow your thoughts and harvest the one’s that serve you. Before long, the suffering subsides, and your luck begins to change.

It’s been a while since you last spoke to the person that causes you so much pain. Don’t forget about this person. Choose not to live like them and always be open to repairing the damage if they show they’re truly committed.

Stop being afraid to make the bold decisions.

 

3. Quit your job

If Monday’s are something you secretly hate every week, then it’s time to quit your job. Even if you have no plan, quit your job. It’s not worth being unhappy and you’ll quickly find another job when you’re forced to.

Make sure the new job gives you a sense of purpose, and it aligns with your beliefs. Put money second, and purpose first.

 

4. Leave your hometown

leaving-your-hometownA brave decision and one that young people should especially try. If you know every street where you live and all the people in your neighborhood then you probably haven’t lived. The unhappiness you are feeling will become secondary when you are forced to find your way around a new city.

Just buying a loaf of bread will become an adventure in a new town. Choose somewhere that feels like a place where you can thrive. Forcing yourself to thrive rather than survive will help you become happy again.

Enjoy meeting new people and try to incorporate them into your weekend adventures. Two or more people is always better than you by yourself.

What bold decision have you had to make in your life? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Stefanie

    Nov 11, 2016 at 5:44 am

    Tim, I haven’t visited the blog in a while and came back to it today. Yesterday, I communicated #3 … that was kind of tough, as I’ve been making up my mind about it again and again. It’s incredible to feel the frustration, anger, anxiety leave, noticing they dominated lots of energy. Thanks for sharing your encouraging thoughts on bold decisions! That was definitely helpful.

  2. Jacque' Terrell

    Nov 8, 2016 at 9:39 pm

    The wife and I really love this blog and appreciate the creativity and inspiration you provide. If you ever decide to take this blog to the next level by offering a Mobile App version my company Zenlight would love to help for an extremely low price, we appreciate the hard work you have put into this blog and wish you all future success in business and in life.

    Thank you for your time, it is the most precious thing we all possess.
    -Jacque’

  3. Toño

    Nov 8, 2016 at 5:29 am

    Hey Tim, finally happy to response! I have read your article a few days ago at work, and it was practically the very first thing I did. My mood was left at home and I knew exactly what I have to do – your brand new article, fresh and ready to be consumed 🙂

    The main idea as I see it is to be bold at your decisions, and recently I practiced it in my daily life. My boss was making my life harder by making choices that could affect our entire team, and I was having bad dreams about. Lots of negative thoughts popped-up in my mind, but your article guided me to make a choice. I decided to speak up my mind to my boss, despite having that fear that always here to talk you off it.

    I spoke with him, making such a bold arguments, and having a super confidence, letting go all thoughts and expectations that I even felt a little bit bad because I was dominating my own boss that day. He listened to me and did exactly as I told him, and that was rather fascinating! We still in a good relationship but now I feel like I have more impact on things around me and can do so again and again. That inner confidence and boldness really made my day, and all of that thanks to you, Tim! I applied your simple strategy onto my own life and it’s worked! So cool not only listen but also take action rather than waiting when things will magically change.

    Also, I really enjoyed the story you brought up, and these four decisions are top tier for me, like literally that what I should do 🙂 I’m working on the last two, and also I have started little writings here and there, and can say I enjoy the process. Still far far away from my best, but regular basis practice is my priority.

    Love your post, Tim and happy to use it as an inspiration! Appreciate your dedication and passion, thank you very much, my friend, speak soon!

  4. Elisa

    Nov 5, 2016 at 9:43 am

    Hi Tim,
    Your post caught my attention… I like your text.. For me to be happy everyday is a must. I live by this principle.
    Actually, your post is my life reverse. …And I did all these steps you suggest and much more …to create the life I want. Hope you are happy.
    Great writing!

    • Tim Denning

      Nov 7, 2016 at 2:54 am

      Elisa you have made one of the most important decisions. I live in a similar way and do my best not to let my happiness be compromised. Thanks for reading and for the kind words!

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Life

2 Simple Steps to Help You Break Through Your Fears

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If you are addicted to success you most certainly are addicted to fear too. Why? Because they are a direct consequence of each other. When you achieve success, it’s because you have taken actions and broken through fears that were holding you back. Every success you have comes from breaking a fear you held onto.

It is incredible to think how much energy and time entrepreneurs waste looking after their fears, making sure they are listened to. It is much harder to feed the energy of fear than feed the energy of success. I want you to think about the mental dilemma you face every single day, the battle you will probably have in your mind when it comes to taking certain actions in your business.

Shall I take that risk?

What if I’m rejected? What if I’m not good enough? What if I’ll be ridiculed in front of others? What if I fail? Just think of how hard it is to constantly listen and obey these thoughts.

The battle in your head is real and challenging. The good thing is you can win it, and the bad thing is there will always be a battle going on in your head. However, you can become a more consistent winner.

Success will always require a new level of expansion which will result in a new level of fears needed to be broken. Imagine this like an elastic band. Every time you face a fear, the elastic will stretch more and more, and the tension will be greater. When you become brave and take the action, the tension will be released and the elastic band will fly further creating a bigger expansion.

“The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.” – Mark Zuckerberg

Fears are normal and essentials to your success

If there are no fears, there’ll be no stretch and no expansion from you. If you want to succeed, you must break through some fears, and this is obvious. But how can you break through fears with ease? I personally used all the possible solutions available in the world to win my fears: meditation, counseling, talking therapies, exercises and many more.

Although those helped, the ultimate way to conquer your fears is to go straight through them. I won some of my biggest fears since starting my entrepreneurial journey that no one else and nothing could help me break. This seems better said than done, but by following a few simple steps, you can do it too.

Here are 2 simple steps to help you breakthrough those fears:

1. Becoming aware of what your fears are

Often they’re very well camouflaged, and they’ll appear in your life as if on autopilot, in the same way electricity comes when you flip a light switch. They’re often triggered by someone else’s actions or words, or by your idea on what the consequence of a certain action will bring to you.

Fears contain so much energy on their own, so imagine what you could do with that energy if you could use it to your advantage. Imagine fear being a close wrist. Every time you activate the fear, you give more energy to it. Every time you think of the fear, you feed the wrist with more power.

As you live your life controlled by fears, the wrists will get more and more powerful. Picture that. Then you try to take certain actions in your business like going live for the first time, proposing a deal to a certain client, writing an article where you express your very own controversial opinion about something, or invest money you currently do not have.

Fears will come in, fully charged. You try to win by punching towards the wall of action. You want to break through, and you know that on the other side of the wall there’s success.

You punch and keep punching but nothing happens. Then, imagine you taking the leap, pointing the wrist towards the wall and BANG! You break through.

Now, the energy of fear has been released and is now ready to be used to your advantage.

The energy will disperse and free itself and it will transmute into freedom and power to take further actions.

“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn

2. Figure out why you fear that certain thing

After you realise what the fear is, ask yourself, “Why do I fear to take this action?” Explore the consequences that breaking that specific fear will bring you. “What will happen if I break this and I achieve the results I desire?

These questions are vital, as you’ll realize your fears are just trying to keep you safe. Humans are not wired for success, they are wired for survival. So anything to do with success will be filtered through your lens of fear.

Once you realize WHAT will happen if you achieve the success you desire, which usually are negative scenarios, calm your mind and imagine a positive scenario instead. Write this down for each negative scenario your mind will create.

One of my biggest fears is the fear of being successful as I believe (my scenario) that people won’t like me anymore, and that I won’t be able to spend time with my family. So once I detected the fear, I changed the scenario. Instead of thinking people will not like me anymore, I create a new reality I desire which could look something like this: I will be able to help and impact more people and I will make sure I take lots of days off and delegate stuff to my team so to spend time with my family.

It is that simple. Once your subconscious mind is reassured with the new positive outcome, it will become easier for you to take action. In the end, always remember you’re in charge of your life, no one else, let alone your fears.

How do you conquer your fears? Let us know your advice and thoughts below!

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Life

Being Alone With Yourself Is the Most Important Skill We Have Lost

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We live in a world where we’re always around people either at work, in the store, and on our phones through social media. In fact, our society tends to label anybody who wants to be or is alone, as a lonely person or even more terribly, a depressed person. We have forgotten how to enjoy our own company.

This is particularly surprising since some of the admired and highly celebrated icons in human history are well known to be “loners.” We have mastered a lot of skills from society, but perhaps we have neglected the most important skill of all. The ability to learn alone, to learn about your strengths and weaknesses, to reflect on the way forward in life, to just sit and appreciate nature, is invaluable.

Here are 4 ways to make being alone fun and productive:

1. Change scenery

You don’t have to do this all the time, but one way to enjoy your time alone is to take a trip or a very long drive or run. It can be difficult to spend time alone when you’re around familiar faces. It’s one of the reasons why people go on vacations away from home. Just get out and spend some time alone reflecting and enjoying your own company.

2. Switch off everything

We live in a world of digital communication. If you truly want to be alone for a while, it would be better if you didn’t login to Facebook and Twitter at all. Better yet, turn off your phone.

3. Reflect

Now that you are alone, it is time to reflect on what you want, what you have done, what you want to be doing. Silence or cool music might be good here. Whichever way, one of the things that make being alone rewarding is the fact that it affords you the opportunity to reflect.

“I’m reflective only in the sense that I learn to move forward. I reflect with a purpose.” – Kobe Bryant

4. Give yourself a treat

Go see a movie, buy a plate of food or a cup of ice-cream. Being alone is not only a time to think, it is also a time to pamper yourself. Treat yourself to the best things that you can afford and be happy and proud about it.

Now that you know how to make being alone fun and productive, it’s time to see the benefits of being alone. Here are 6 benefits you can expect from embracing being alone:

1. It aids personal growth

Apart from all the skills we get from self-development books, being alone helps build us. Through it, we are able to make plans, to ask critical questions and put our lives in the proper perspective. To grow, it is important that you take yourself out and properly assess your life alone, away from friends, families and colleagues.

2. It energizes

There are times when we’re stressed out by work, family, and friends, so being alone is a wonderful way to renew yourself with extra energy. This is the time to give yourself treats and plenty of rest and leisure, away from the stress of the world.

3. It increases the value you place on relationship

When you come to a point where you love being alone, it makes it so that you’re very intentional about your relationship with others. Being alone can also help you properly evaluate and see all there is to love and enjoy about your relationship with others.

4. It increases self-confidence

Another wonderful benefit of being alone is that it helps to boost your self- confidence and self esteem. The more time you spend alone with yourself, the more comfortable you are with your skill and with your strengths and weaknesses.

“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” – Michael Jordan

5. It helps you become more empathetic

One thing about having friends and those we relate with very often is that we unconsciously develop a mentality that makes us empathetic towards them rather than others. Findings have shown that the more time you spend alone, the more compassion you’re able to show to a wider range of people.

6. The difference between being alone and being lonely

The desire to be alone is quite different from loneliness and sometimes, we do not take the required time to be alone because we don’t want to be perceived as “lonely” by others. To be lonely is to deeply want to relate and have communication with someone or some people but to be unable to.

It’s an ache that you carry around throughout the day, and it seriously affects all you do. It could make the entire world seem frustrating. The death of a loved one can lead to loneliness after a while.

Being alone on the other hand, as seen earlier, is intentionally deciding to get away from everybody and enjoying being with yourself as you reflect on your life and all that’s to come.

Taking time to be alone is very productive and it can be a wonderful thing for you. Take time away from social media and friends and find a nice spot to relax with yourself and analyze your habits and see how they affect your life.

Do you enjoy spending time by yourself? Share your thoughts below on if you think it benefits you and helps you recharge!

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Life

Simple Meditation Techniques To Enhance Your Productivity

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At times, the workplace can be a stressful place to be. Whether you are faced with demanding clients, even more demanding colleagues, or just the incessant activity of the environment itself, the workplace can at times feel like it is exerting a pressure down upon your shoulders that is difficult to extricate yourself from.

Not only is this unhealthy and detrimental to your wellbeing, it is also highly counterproductive for your organization. A stressed or unhappy employee is, for the most part, an unproductive employee who you do not necessarily want interacting with valuable clients, while its difficult to forge fruitful relationships with co-workers.

However, with these easy-to-use techniques, you can help turn your business space into an oasis of calm, boosting your work productivity at the same time.

At-desk meditations

It may be that you want to invoke some form of meditative state, but the last thing you want to do is draw attention to yourself from wide-eyed colleagues. If this sounds like you, then there are a number of at-desk meditations you can perform which will not only assist in destressing and boosting performance, but will do so without attracting unwelcome glances.

Here are a few of the most easy to use:

1. Tap your fingers to the rhythm of time

Put both of your hands on your thighs or on your desk, and proceed to start tapping each finger individually, starting with your pinky finger. It is important that you use a sequence, and time it effectively to a slow rhythm. The last part is to then recite a five-word mantra that relates to time.

There is an infinity of options here, but you could go with ‘I do have enough time’ or ‘Time is my best friend’. The idea is to create a zen-like state where you are breathing regularly and focussing on the small activity at hand (literally). Continue until your breathing has become regular and the repeated-mantra has eased though you to your core.

This is an immensely achievable meditative process that I love to utilize in any number of situations because it is so private.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Shake it off

Now is the time to focus on exactly what or who is causing your stress. Take some time out, sit quietly on your chair, and take a few deep breaths while you think about the origin of your stress. Next, start to recite to yourself a mantra along the lines of ‘It’s OK and I can move on from this.’ Then, start to take a few deeper breaths and use the time you breathe out to really sigh away your frustration.

Finally, shake your body to release the tension from you. There is no need to make any deep noises or draw unwanted attention to yourself, but that really shouldn’t be a consideration anyway, and will only exacerbate your stress in the process. This is about breathing and release.

3. Eyes to the flame

If you are feeling a little braver, and you understand that an open flame will not cause any undue disquiet in the workplace around you (or that you are breaking any health and safety regulations), using a candle can be a wonderful tool to help create a meditative state. Start by switching off your computer. In fact, this is a good place to begin with any meditative activity as the glare from the screen will distract your attention.

Light the candle and then bring the flame towards your eye level, holding it approximately 20 inches away, or into a position that is comfortable. Then, stare into the flame for up to 2 minutes, remembering to breathe regularly as you do so.

“Calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so that’s very important for good health.” – Dalai Lama

Meditations for a private space

If you have access to a private space in the workplace, there are other types of meditative positions which you can undertake, including, lying on the floor. Lying down immediately helps to put you in an unfamiliar position for work, which is helpful in itself, but a familiar position for feeling comforted and relaxed.

Close your eyes and then once again, start to breathe in a rhythmic manner. It is essential that your breathing becomes your primary focus, so you breathe in and out with a deep concentration on what you are doing.

When starting out, five minutes is more than apt, as long as that’s five minutes of a concentrated nature. You can then start to push out those times, and there is no reason why before long you shouldn’t be able to manage 20 minutes of perfect meditative calm. This can easily be done during a lunch break or even a mid-morning break.

There are also walking meditations for more adventurous types, which involves focusing on your steps and breaths simultaneously, concentrating always on a forward motion, both literally and figuratively. Emotional calmness and wellbeing in the workplace is just around the corner.

Have you tried meditation? If so, do you like it? Let us know your thoughts about meditation below!

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Life

5 Areas of Your Life That Need Improvement to Become the Strongest Version of Yourself

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We live in a time of abundance. Despite what you see in the news daily, beauty and opportunity are all around us. We have the ability to create success in every area of our life if we’re willing to do the work. That work is the things that help you become more self-aware and help you implement true self-love.

The work is hard. It’s the reason that too many people quit somewhere along the way. Then, years later, they look at the life that has passed them by wondering where it all went wrong. That doesn’t have to be you.

Become the strongest you and create success by doing the work in these five important areas of your life:

1. Become a Jedi mind master

Mindset gets thrown around like a dirty personal development buzzword. While there are those teaching about it that shouldn’t be, mastering your mind is a skill and important part of the success equation.

Your thoughts have a direct effect on your feelings, emotions, and the action you take. When you can focus your thoughts on gratitude, on what’s possible in your life, and on your goals, you’re putting yourself in the best place to take the necessary steps to create success. Train your mind. Learn to get into peak state, as Tony Robbins often talks about.

When you feel off or a negative emotion, feel it through. Acknowledge what you feel in that moment but then get your mind back into peak state as quickly as possible. Listen to music, watch a motivational video, listen to great podcasts like Addicted 2 Success’, change your state. Master your mind and you’ll change your life.

“The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it. As long as you really believe 100 percent.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

2. Treat your health like it’s your only job

Physical fitness and movement have a direct impact on creating success. You’ll need energy and focus to accomplish your major goals. You’ve heard Les Brown say, “your health is your wealth” for good reason. True self-love means you refuse to do anything to your body that doesn’t honor it. That includes what you eat and how you move.

You know how to get and stay fit—there’s a wealth of information online about the tactics. Get there in your mind. Tell yourself a different story in regards to your wellness and commit to doing the work.

There’s a lot of research on the benefits of starting your day with physical movement. It teaches you discipline, gives you an opportunity to release stress, and builds your endurance in many ways.

3. Fire people out of your life that you know need to go

You know that you become who you hang around but it’s deeper than that. You need to fire and cut people out of your life that aren’t aligned with where you are and where you’re going. It’s hard enough to create success and do the work. It gets unbearable when you’re trying to take action while the negative energy of others is holding you back.

This means cutting people out of your life on social media, at work, in your business life, and any other place that needs cutting. Your intuition is speaking to you—listen. Surround yourself with people and the opportunity to challenge your self-limiting beliefs. Model success by surrounding yourself with it.

4. Make more money in a way that brings a smile to your face

We do live in a different time. Today, you can make a living by doing what you love and doing it all over the world. The “laptop lifestyle” doesn’t have to be a cheesy Facebook ad. You can build income teaching on the things that light your soul up. Whether that’s through an online business, a brick and mortar business, a remote job, or a job that you enjoy, we’re surrounded by opportunity.

What you do for “work” will take up a large part of your week. That time could be spent helping you move closer to your goals or it could be spent derailing and depressing you. You can find or create work or a business that you love and that helps you become a better version of yourself.

Use today’s tools, software, technology, and access to knowledge to create work that pays your bills and gives you true freedom. There is no shortage of information online that can teach you how to do that. Don’t settle for “good enough” or worse.

“There’s no shortage of money in this world. Start hustling.” – Grant Cardone

5. Love a person that craves growth as much as you

The romantic relationship in your life is one of the most influential parts of creating success and a better you. You need a partner in crime that understands and craves growth may be even more than you.

A healthy relationship is two complete people coming together and agreeing to support each other as you become better versions of yourself. It’s a partnership in which you come together to build an empire through love.

To get there, you should be with someone who shares your vision and values. Settling in your romantic life is a recipe for failure. This is the person you’ll spend a large amount of time with. Choose wisely and from a place of self-love.

You can accomplish anything if you’re willing to work for it. You can create success and true freedom in every area of your life. You have to believe this is possible for you and take the necessary steps. Work on these five areas and watch magic happen in your life.

What area of your life do you need to work on this week?

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