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4 Bold Decisions That Will Stop You From Being Unhappy

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Your happiness is mostly shaped by your decisions. Changing the way you feel requires you to make tough decisions that you haven’t made before. We all want to do this but fear get’s in the way and stops us from taking action.

Being comfortable and making decisions that are easy will get you absolutely nowhere. Your happiness is important, and you should spend time finding ways to live life on your terms. The advice in this blog post is challenging. The decisions I have outlined require you to be bold.

If you make one, or better yet, all of these four decisions below you’ll have some proven strategies to stop you from being unhappy. Here they are:

1. Start a website

Find something you love talking about and then start a website. Spend every minute you have spare building up the content and then sharing it on your existing social media accounts. There is something that happens in your mind when you focus on a passion you have.

Even if no one ever visits your website, the process of creating and maintaining the site will make you happy. It will take time to carve and your niche and the unique angle that you bring. If you focus for long enough, you’ll eventually have people coming to your website.

Whether your website lasts, will be determined by your patience. A successful website takes a few years to create, so you’ll have to settle with short term happiness in the meantime which I think is a pretty good trade off. Don’t you?

2. Break up with that person who causes you pain

The person could be a romantic partner, family member, or even a friend. Sit down and think about how this person makes you feel. Are they building you up or tearing you down emotionally. Contemplate these thoughts for a week.

See if you feel any different. Read personal development books. One morning, go outside while it’s dark and walk to the nearest hill. Stand on top of it and watch the sunrise. Think again about how this person makes you feel. Are you really convinced that they’re making your life better?

As hard as these thoughts are going to be, you have to be honest with yourself. Lying to yourself is sabotaging your long-term success. Think about Uncle Garry who is fifty years old, with no friends, no partner, and no kids. Is that really what happiness is all about?

Understand that no bold decision is going to be easy. In fact, nothing in life is easy. Let this idea be proven by reading Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biography. After reading the book, you’ll understand what hard work is and how it relates to the bold decision you have avoided for so long.

Try a few months away from the person. Notice how your life is different. See how good it is not to live with other people’s pain being forced upon you. Some nights will be tough, and you may shed a tear or too. That’s fine, and we all do even if we are too afraid to admit it.

Buy a new outfit. One that makes you feel good about yourself. Pick up the phone and call someone who you would prefer to spend time with. Go and hang out with them. Think to yourself whether these new positive feelings feel much better than the past ones you endured from this person who causes you so much pain.

Be bold. Go to a place where there is lots of singing. Stand up with the people around you and sing with them. See the power of collaboration and what music can do to you. Feel the chills down your spine and remember what this feeling is like.

Late one night, text your work buddies and tell them how much you enjoy working with them. Highlight some of the things they do well. Watch the flood of text messages come back and realise that you create your own reality.

The pain you’ve endured has been your choice the whole time. Pain is guaranteed, but suffering is up to you. Don’t let external factors take you away from what you were put on this planet to do. Only you know why you’re here and everyone’s opinions about this quest are nothing but noise.

Watch your life become nothing more than chasing new experiences. Get used to jumping on planes, cruising on buses, and being happy for once. See your suitcase age along with your own body. Know that there is an end in sight for all of us and commit to enjoying the here and now.

As you get to the baggage carousel at the airport, see your suitcase come down the conveyer belt completely ruined and torn to shreds. Know that this is a mortality lesson in disguise.

Come home once in a while and have lunch with the people you truly missed. These people are now more evident to you because you’ve been away. Listen to songs that put a smile on your face and don’t be afraid to fist pump the air once in a while, even while you’re on the train going to the office.

The cute girl sitting next to you laughs at your dance moves, and you know that you’ve at least improved one person’s life today. The challenge is now how you do this more often. The challenge is how you take the pain from this person who you have to break up with and turn it into positive energy to heal other people’s suffering.

“You’ll realise that your disadvantages are actually your advantages and vice versa.“

As the weekend rolls around, head to the beach and learn how to kite surf. Who cares what you look like it’s another new experience. Stand up on the board, while on the sand, and think how cool you are. Then, go out on the water and try to do the same and see how challenging it is.

Spend the rest of the day at the beach, falling over and never getting up on your board. Embrace all the failure and remember that your success lies on the other side. Keep practicing and having people laugh at you until you finally stand on the board for five seconds.

Then, you stand for 10, 15, 20, 55 seconds, and finally a whole minute. While you’re no expert, you can now stand on your own two feet. See the awesomeness in this life lesson and tie these thoughts back to the person you have to break up with.

Maybe your breakup with this person is like learning how to kite surf. You’re a smart cookie and deep down you know it. Each day, you continue to grow your thoughts and harvest the one’s that serve you. Before long, the suffering subsides, and your luck begins to change.

It’s been a while since you last spoke to the person that causes you so much pain. Don’t forget about this person. Choose not to live like them and always be open to repairing the damage if they show they’re truly committed.

Stop being afraid to make the bold decisions.

3. Quit your job

If Monday’s are something you secretly hate every week, then it’s time to quit your job. Even if you have no plan, quit your job. It’s not worth being unhappy and you’ll quickly find another job when you’re forced to.

Make sure the new job gives you a sense of purpose, and it aligns with your beliefs. Put money second, and purpose first.

4. Leave your hometown

A brave decision and one that young people should especially try. If you know every street where you live and all the people in your neighborhood then you probably haven’t lived. The unhappiness you are feeling will become secondary when you are forced to find your way around a new city.

Just buying a loaf of bread will become an adventure in a new town. Choose somewhere that feels like a place where you can thrive. Forcing yourself to thrive rather than survive will help you become happy again.

Enjoy meeting new people and try to incorporate them into your weekend adventures. Two or more people is always better than you by yourself.

What bold decision have you had to make in your life? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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