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The Top 5 Exercises for Curing Your Fears

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how to cure your fears
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We all have passions, visions, and tons of ambitions we want to pursue. As a young millennial with high hopes, you want to become your own boss, but something is holding you back, whispering in your ear, “You can’t start that business because there’s too much risk involved.”

You want to become a powerful public speaker, but your inner voice keeps discouraging you. “Don’t even try that. Your voice is terrible.” You want to become a brave soldier, but again that something inside your soul is stopping you, “You can’t even run three miles; don’t deceive yourself.”

The fear in you is stopping you. It’s a barrier to your success. While experiencing some fear is inevitable, there are some smart ways to control your fear.

Here are the top five exercises that will help you cure your fear once and for all:

1. Practice

We all have fear. We don’t want to stand in front of hundreds of people to do a presentation. We don’t want to engage in difficult conversations. We don’t want to keep up with our cardiovascular exercises even though they are good for us.

But do you know the difference between the fearful and the fearless ones? It’s constant practice. The fearful would rather complain about going outside their comfort zones. The fearless folks practice doing the uncomfortable things until they become comfortable at doing them. You want a plan for curing your fear? Practice doing the things that scare you.

If, for example, you’re afraid of running a marathon, practice for a marathon by jogging every day in your neighborhood. Then improve upon that by increasing the distance, whether in your neighborhood or on a running track. That’s how you’ll slowly make your way toward becoming a marathon runner. It’s tough, by the way. You need to be laser-focused to resist the urge to quit. That’s the next exercise!

“The more you seek the uncomfortable, the more you will become comfortable.” – Conor McGregor

2. Focus

Start practicing for that marathon, and you’ll soon notice that it’s not easy. There’s many challenges along the way such as the discomfort of waking up every day to run, the intensity of the exercise, and the stress of making sure you achieve your goal. Here’s the hard, naked truth: These things won’t go away.

However, if you stay patient and focused on the exercise, the stress will morph into passion. You’ll start to like the action that you once hated. So don’t pay much attention to the result. As the productivity guru Robin Sharma beautifully puts it, “release your attachment to outcome.”

If you’re practicing to be fearless about running a marathon, don’t be obsessed about the fame that the exercise will bring you. That thought will not get you there. Instead, focus on the small act of running every day. Stay focused even when you fail.

3. Fail

You’ll fail as you train to be brave. You’ll stumble. You’ll get hurt. People will laugh at you. Through all of this, you have to embrace the mess. You can’t quit. It takes time and guts to beat your fear and get comfortable at doing the thing that scares you.

I remember when I did my first presentation in my first year at college. I stammered, stumbled, and was afraid. My classmates laughed at me. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to quit school after that.

However, my professor pushed me really hard and encouraged me to keep going. “When you stumble, that is not the end of the world,” he told me as he sat with me in his well-polished office. “You dust yourself off. You get up and do it again.”

“Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine.” – Jack Ma

4. Do it again

Life is like a boxing ring, no matter how well-trained you are, no matter how skilled, no matter how powerful, you’ll take a lot of punches. In fact, if you’re not lucky, you’ll get a dozen punches in the face, and they’ll break your nose, chin and jaw.

But what happens when you suffer a lot in the ring? You dust yourself off. You rise up. You keep going. You don’t quit. Why? Because your opponent, too, is vulnerable. If you “do it again,” keep the game going instead of quitting, chances are, your good times will come. Your opponent will get tired, and you’ll leverage that to give him several blows.

Life is an arena full of uncertainty. You don’t stop because of fear, you keep going to beat that fear. It’s important that you learn to improve your swings as you go.

5. Learn

How do you learn from the superstars? Start by reviewing yourself. Notice your strengths and your weaknesses. Observe the things that scare you, understand why they terrify you, and then turn to your heroes to see how they do things better than you.

You also need to put what you have learned into practice. Not the common kind of practice, mind you. You do what Anders Ericsson called “deliberate practice—carefully practicing a specific skill to get better at it.” In the end, it’s not just about beating your fear. It’s about making your world a better place.

How do you conquer your own fear? Share your tips with us!

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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