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4 Ways You Can Build Self-Confidence Right Now

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Self-confidence: some people have oodles of it, others…not so much. I was one of the latter types. Whenever I attempted something, my lack of self-confidence would creep into my mind with thoughts such as: “You aren’t good at this.” “Why are you even thinking that you are going to succeed?” “You are useless.” Unfortunately, I listened to the negativity that was swirling through my brain whenever I tried to do anything to improve myself.

Failure would come and then the self-accusation and the negative confirmations flooded into my thinking. “See, you failed! What made you think otherwise? You have always failed.”

Self-confidence stems out of self-esteem, an my self-esteem was at low tide. What I needed was unstoppable self-esteem and self-confidence. It was something I knew wouldn’t happen over night.

Developing self-confidence takes determination, focus, and work. You need to hit the “kill switch” of negative thinking and inject positivity into your life. But, how do you up the confidence level? You need to stop looking at your failures and refocus. You need to understand that there are some things that you have done right!

Here are 4 ways you can build your confidence to new levels:

1. Consider your past successes

Let’s be honest now. Not everything you have done has failed has it? There are things that you have done well and succeeded in. Remind yourself of those past successes. Let them dictate to you that you aren’t a failure after all. Don’t listen to the negativity anymore. Replace it with a new soundtrack of positivity that celebrate your previous successes.

When you look back at the things you have achieved in the past, what happens? Confidence starts to stir. Grab hold of that confidence and move forward with it.

Tell yourself “I’ve managed to do things well in the past and I can be successful in the future.” Are things going to go smoothly? No! Whenever you try something, there is bound to be a mistake or failure crop up along the way. Nonetheless, allow these to teach and guide you as you journey along the path of success.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” – Helen Keller

2. Upskill

We never stop learning (unless we choose to). What is it that you want to improve about yourself? What do you want to change about your life? There may be a new career you want to take on, or maybe there’s a skill set that you currently have that you want to enhance.

As you learn and develop new skills, your confidence is boosted. Learning is the ultimate self-esteem “pick me up” as it enhances you as a person. It develops you and you will find that your self-confidence increases.

3. Try something that you have never done before

There are always opportunities to try new experiences. The other month my wife and I went to Osaka, and experiencing the Abeno Harukas building . Here, you can experience “Edge the Harukas”,  which means you can go to the top of the building, go outside and lean backward 300 metres above the ground. I am not a fan of heights, but for some reason there was a resolve in me to do this!

Then I came to understand that doing something like that added to my self-confidence. I am not saying that you have to go and do something daring (unless you want to), but try something you have never done before. When you do, guess what happens? You have just chalked up another success. Add it to the pile and keep going!

4. Surround yourself with positive people

To change your thinking and your beliefs means you need to change what and who you are listening to. You have well-meaning people who tell you not to get your hopes up. They say things like “Not everyone is successful,” or “Successful people only got there by luck.” You are told to accept your lot in life.

The people who say these things are sincere in their empathy toward you. They don’t want to see you hurt or disappointed. However, these people are misguided in their counsel. It’s time to change your circle of influence. Find people who will tell you that you can succeed. People who will encourage you rather than pat you sympathetically on the bag and tell you “Success is for others and not you.”

“Surround yourself with positive people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.” – Roy Bennett

Go to meetup groups where you can be with like-minded individuals who can provide you with advice, guidance and friendship. Find mentors who have done what you long to do and reach out to them. You will find that they are willing to help you succeed. Start building networks with people who are going to encourage you and provide you with the positivity that you need.

When you are around positive people, how do you feel? When someone is there guiding you and telling you that you can succeed, where is your confidence level? When your mentor high-fives you and says “See, I knew you could do it!” you will find that your confidence has skyrocketed.

When I found people that encouraged me instead of filling me with negativity and self-doubt was when I found my confidence growing, expanding, and strengthening.

Which one of these 4 ways to build self-confidence resonates most with you and why?

Brian Simms is the founder of "Dream Successes" and is passionate about assisting others become the best they can be. He has a qualification in psychology and has a mission to help half a million people reach their dreams by changing their thinking. You can follow "Dream Successes" on Instagram (@dreamsuccesses) and at dreamsuccesses.wordpress.com"

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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Life

Practicing Self-Devotion: 3 Ways Towards a More Mindful and Compassionate You

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I can still hear the voices of my older relatives and my elementary school teachers telling me “be disciplined”, “keep at it”, to give time and energy towards what we want. As a young, impressionable child, I believed all those things because well, they made sense. They worked. And honestly, I felt like it’s the only way to flourish. (more…)

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