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The Only 7 Step Process You Need to Follow to Go After What You Want in Life



Achieving Practical Success

Everything you want in life can be yours. You might not believe this. Most people believe that what they see in their lives today is their current and future reality. The truth is, it doesn’t have to be.

You can envision a magical life for yourself and make it happen. You have the ability to bring your ideal love life, work life, spiritual life and emotionally healthy life into your reality. You can materialize people, experiences and everything your heart desires. Remember, whatever it is your heart desires is also wanting you. All you must do is believe in your vision and follow the steps below.

Follow this 7-step process to go after what you want in life:

1. Ignore the reality of present circumstances

What’s happening today does not dictate your future. No matter how bad things are now, you’ll acknowledge it and ignore it. The present circumstances are temporary and fleeting. Imagine you’re in an elevator and want to get to the top floor. Your present circumstances are on the first floor.

The fact that you’re on the first floor doesn’t mean your elevator isn’t about to shoot up. Your life is about to change very quickly but you must not let the present circumstances trick you into believing your life is in a dismal condition.

2. Get clear on what you want

You won’t know what floor you want the elevator to take you to until you press the floor you want. Similarly, you won’t know how to get there if you don’t know where you want to go in the first place.

Without direction and guidance, it will take you where it wants to take you but life always waits for your direction. You must dream it and see it in your mind and visualize it.  Let life know what you want. Let life know what you want your future to look like.

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” – Helen Keller

3. Imagine you are already there

Regardless of the present circumstances, change your life to start reflecting your future reality. You may not have the love of your life, be living in your dream city or doing the work you love but you can cultivate those feelings you desire. Do you desire love, freedom, adventure, companionship, friendship, personal growth and more?

You can achieve those feelings today! Go out with a friend you haven’t met up with in some time.  Take a day trip to a famous spot around town. Sightsee in your own city. Take a staycation. Visit beauty and nature where you are.

4. Cultivate joyful vibrations

Every day you can choose how you feel and how you view the world. You can actively change the way you feel by focusing on the good things. You can change the way you feel by experiencing gratitude. You can change the way you feel by listening to inspiring music, reading positive books and listening to inspiring podcasts. You can also take proactive actions to kill the negativity in your life.

Stop doing stuff that tears your soul. Reduce the time you spend with intolerable people. Seek a different workplace if you’re not in good energy at work. As far as viewing the world, you must believe you have the power of perception. You can’t change the circumstances of your life but you can change your view of those circumstances.

You can see your life through the lens of negativity or you can see your life through the lens of growth, inspiration, adventure, change, and transformation. However you see your life, your life will respond accordingly.

5. Take steps to get to the place you envision

From knowing your vision and cultivating positive vibrations, and from a place of possibility, take steps every day towards your dreams. Create habits so you have a systematic way to move towards your dream life every day.

If you’re an artist, create art every day. If you’re an entrepreneur, work on your business every day. If you’re a writer, write every day. If you’re an athlete, work out every day. Your dream life doesn’t happen if you simply envision it. It requires inspired action.

Work backwards from your dream life to the one thing you can do today to move towards that life. What one small step can you take each and every day that will move you closer to the life you want? You can create your future life one day at a time, starting today.

“A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.” – Tony Robbins

6. Surrender

Work on the parts of your dreams you can but surrender on the results. Don’t fixate on the results themselves or on your dream life. This will happen naturally if you focus on the journey.

Work on creating your dream life every day and before you know it, you’ll materialize it.  Know where you want to go, work on getting there, take inspired action every day but surrender to the universe on the time and place.

Life will get you there in due time. If you do your part, life will do its part. You don’t have to control, force or manipulate the universe.  You don’t have to fear, worry or doubt. If you trust the journey, your destination will appear soon enough.

7. Believe every event is moving you closer to your vision

Every setback, every challenge and every obstacle is preparing you for your dream. Life is simply testing you to see if you believe strongly enough in your vision. Most people give up quickly and think they must live the difficult life they’ve received.

Challenges and obstacles are tests. Will you see them for what they are? Will you see them and find a way to work past them? See, your ability to overcome the challenges in your path will give you the skills to achieve your dreams. You only have to learn and grow from the obstacles in front of you, not taking your eyes away from the prize.

Most people let obstacles discourage them and believe life wants them to choose a different direction. Don’t mistake a test that will strengthen you for a challenge that will doom you. Your vision for your life is divinely inspired and universally supported. You must bring your resilience, persistence and faith.

What part of this process are you having the most trouble with? Leave your thoughts below!


DON’T FORGET: You can Join Joel Brown’s Monthly Mindset Coaching Program today to build your Mental Strength

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Vishnu Virtues is the writer behind the popular personal growth and spirituality blog for people starting over in life. You can find his weekly blog posts at and his Amazon books on love and relationships here.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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