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An Honest Guide To Life

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Life is tough. For me, it’s a constant battle between the never ending negative thoughts and the positive thoughts that I want to multiply even more.

As I evaluate my entire life, I discovered some pretty profound insights. Before we begin, I want to warn you that you’ll never start this blog post again with the same perspective.

These are the honest insights I would like to share with you:

1. We all feel like crap sometimes

There are days where I feel like my life is a mess. Your giant friend Tony Robbins has these days. The self-proclaimed guinea pig Tim Ferris has these days; we all have these days. What I’ve figured out is that we are all as messed up as each other.

Rather than trying to understand your problems, embrace them. See your problems as little warning signs for areas of your life that aren’t quite 100% yet. Don’t ignore how you feel, accept it, take a deep breath and be happy you are alive to feel anything at all.

2. Serendipitous moments

Serendipity is a beautiful thing. Last week I lost exactly $5 in the car wash coin changer. Today, I found a $5 note right next to the coin changer, and there were two other people all in the same area. Chance? I don’t think so. Deciding not to blow up at the car wash attendant was the reason this moment happened to me. It was a reminder to always trust in being kind.

Another moment was when I was asked to serendipitously invite a woman to a charity ball. I had no one. I was feeling like a hopeless single man that had all the success in the world except the one thing that mattered: love.

I asked someone to the charity ball I thought would say no. She said yes. Then we went on a date and later it became something more. Could I have predicted this serendipitous moment? No.

It happened because I kept having faith in humanity and I didn’t stop putting out good vibes every single say. Ponder that.

3. Trust the end game

Loving someone is hard. There will be times when you wonder what an earth you’ve got yourself into. Nobody ever aligns to your exact blueprint as much as you try to enforce this requirement. I’ve learned that we attract the one who’s often very different to us to fill in the voids of our life that we can’t fill in ourselves. It doesn’t make sense, and it’s not supposed to.

There are other times to trust as well. When you get sick and can’t get out of bed that’s a sign. It’s part of the end game, and it’s a stark reminder to stop living life at 40%. Trust in all the moments that seem less than desirable. Don’t try and make sense of everything because you’ll never find truth.

You are the truth. Forget hopelessness and trust in finding your bliss. It’s there, somewhere. Keep searching for it.

4. We’re born to shine

You may not feel like you are a shining light for anyone, but you are. Somewhere in secret, someone is using your life as an example. You weren’t born to be mediocre; you were born to shine. You were created to do something that is purposeful and phenomenal.

You have it inside of you and so do I. Unlocking your inner sunlight so that you can shine, is the tricky part. I’ll give you a hint; focus on others, and you’ll begin to find what you’re looking for. It’s who you are becoming that matters.

When you let yourself shine things happen in your life without you even trying. People are attracted to you because of the person that you are, not how you look, or how much money you have.

I’ve forgotten this so many times until recently. My luck has started to change, yet I’m still the same person with the same flaws. The only difference now is I don’t give a F#&%. Opinion means nothing. Purpose means everything.

5. If you can change the world through your passion, then your time is now

If you believe you can change the world through your passion, then it’s time to show up. The time is now to show us what you have and to face into rejection. Your aim should be to change the world with your passion. Forget about making a dent, and concentrate on shaking the planet with your gift.

6. You’re already lucky

Right now, there is someone in another country facing the effects of war or starving from not being able to find food. Meanwhile, you’re here with your fancy computer, using your high-speed internet to read this blog post.

Are you really that hardly done by? You create your own luck and luck will make you happy. While this thought is powerful, it’s meaningless if you don’t believe you can be lucky.

“You could be the luckiest son of a gun on the planet, but you’ll never feel that way unless you are consciously aware of it. You must believe you are already lucky to become even luckier”

7. Time is all we have

Let’s look at your calendar for yesterday. I’m willing to bet there was a lot of useless activities that sucked up your time and took you away from feeling fulfilled. This is not a horrible mess its part of our human DNA.

You procrastinate for a whole host of reasons and so do I. Given that time is all we have, and it’s the currency of our life, we need to take stock of where it’s going. It’s not about doing more with the time you have, it’s about taking away the things that stop you from living in your bliss.

Spend the time you have on investments that have compounding returns. The best one is personal development. What does that mean? Any activity that helps you grow as a person such as:

– Books on success and human achievement

– Events that teach you about life

– Inspirational movies that change your perspective

– Coaching and mentoring

8. Reactivity kills the Zen Monk

We’re all pissed off a lot of the time. Reacting to the small stuff get’s you lost in your head. People are going to upset you and events you don’t like are going to occur. Rather than react, try observing instead. Embrace the art of patience and try seeing everything from the opposite point of view.

Ask the question that nobody is asking. Flip the problem upside down and blow people away. Take all those default negative thoughts and do nothing with them for a while. By not reacting, you stop stabbing the Zen Monk that hides within all of us. The best part is, you find happiness.

9. Let tragedy bring you back to reality

The sad thing is we are all going to get hit by a tragedy at some point in life. The amazing thing that you may not have realized is that there are huge benefits. When your emotions hit rock bottom, the only place they have to go is back up again.

As well as that, tragedy is like hitting the reset button on your computer. It makes you revalue everything in your life again. You generally come to the realization that love, purpose, time and being you is all that matters.

You become aware that you’re only here for a split second and that you’ve got to embrace every event as if it’s part of the journey. Events can be happy or sad, and that’s a given. What you do with the events in your life is up to you. I am commanding you to use them as the best thing that’s ever happened to you. I’m commanding you to see the pain but not suffer from it!

What’s advice on life has helped you? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Siddhi

    Mar 6, 2017 at 6:21 am

    Hi, loved your article. Beautifully written and truly inspirational. Have bookmarked your site. Do check out some of the stuff that I tried and would love to hear your comments.

    • Tim Denning

      Mar 6, 2017 at 8:09 pm

      Siddhi thank you and glad you liked the post 🙂

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Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?” (more…)

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Life

The Truth About the Law of Attraction

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When we want something, we generally imagine the form it will take when it manifests. If we’re not careful, however, we can find ourselves attached more to the imagined form than the actual desired outcome. This is like placing an online order and expecting it to come in a blue box shipped by UPS. If we then receive a red box delivered by FedEx, we might not realize that it’s what we ordered, and never even open it!

For example, most of us say that we want money, but when money comes in the form of a free coffee or a gift or a discount, we don’t see it for what it is. We overlook it, and maybe we even say “No, thanks” and decline the gift which is, in one way or another, still money. In doing so, we fail to appreciate the value of the discount, the gift, or the freebie. If it isn’t cash being handed to us, we don’t see it as a manifestation of our desire.

The law of attraction is a funny thing.

It is much more complex and much more intricate than what it seems to be and yet, at the same time, it’s so very simple: We always get what we want. We always receive more of the energy at which we vibrate. Always.

However, if we’re acting from the energy of “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t think I’m worthy,” then whatever it is that we receive will be negated and essentially unseen. On the other hand, if we are open, observant, and maintaining an abundance mindset, we will receive our request on numerous levels and from plentiful sources!

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

This is because we “place our order” not only through our words, but through our actions, our beliefs, and our thoughts.

Last month, I was open to receiving a new client. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I’d set my intention: I was going to get a new client. That night, out of nowhere, I got a message from an old student of mine. She was looking to hire me again as her coach for the upcoming college entrance exams in the U.S. But wait! I didn’t want an entrance exam client.

What I actually wanted was to get life and business coaching clients. This student was my “red box from Fed Ex.” I wanted to decline at first, but as I was about to reply, something made me stop. I asked myself, “Why am I rejecting this?”

This student is an amazing client. She pays on time. She’s not needy. She does her part. Best of all? She doesn’t short-change me. So I said yes, because I realized that the Universe was simply responding to the essence of my desire.

You see, my “Big Why” in everything I do has always been to facilitate an accelerated personal and business growth for my clients, and this student fit the bill in every way. She wanted the personal growth, she was ready to go all in and she reached out to me.

It didn’t look like the package I was expecting so I didn’t recognize it at first—and I nearly turned it away—but she was the perfect answer to my request.

Serving people like her has always been a driving force in my life.

The Universe knows that. It also knew that I wanted a client asap so that I could re-invest the money into my business, so it responded in the most ideal way… but in an unexpected form. And I came so close to missing it!

How many times have I missed other opportunities like this? How many times have I dismissed a “red box” because it wasn’t “blue?” I’ll never know. But I do know that, had I not stopped myself from sending a “No, thanks,” I would have felt as though the Universe wasn’t listening.

That’s the thing: the Universe is always listening.

The more open we are in receiving, the more we thrive. The more open our energy is, the greater the possibilities. Don’t just return that red box to the post office and keep waiting on a blue one. Ask yourself, first and foremost, if what you’re receiving at the moment matches up with your underlying desire.

See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it.” – Rhonda Byrne

The key is to be willing to receive anything and everything. How? Keep on reading1

1. Get clear on your “underlying desire.”

Identify exactly what it is that you really want—in my case, it was an ideal client (underlying) as opposed to a coaching client (surface)—and focus on that. Clear out all the mental noise and static that clouds your awareness.

2. Be flexible

Keep your eyes and mind open for anything that fits the description. When you ask for money, recognize that free coffee for what it is: $3 you were going to spend anyway, that can now remain in your pocket. Every penny on the ground, every coupon, it’s all money.

3. Keep an attitude of gratitude.

The more you appreciate what you have, the more that comes your way. Your grateful mindset opens the energetic door for more to flow your way, because “where attention goes, energy flows.” The more you focus on the things you want, the more you will draw them into your experience.

Remember, that the Universe responds to our requests in whatever way fits best within the big picture.

It’s a picture so big that we couldn’t possibly begin to see how it comes together. Trust it. Know that when you ask, you will receive. It may not come in the form you anticipate, but always in a form that responds to your underlying desire. You just have to be ready to see it.

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Life

7 Simple Ways to Master Your Emotions When Making Decisions

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A lot of people have big regrets when lying on their deathbed. These regrets are often related to bad decisions or decisions not taken. Thus, as it turns out, decision-making is dependent on great self-confidence. A person who has confidence in their decisions has an easier time making them.

Emotions also play a big role in all of this. This is a debate that has confronted two great thinkers. According to Descartes, “decisions are the product of the rational mind.” In other words, decision-making is essentially based on facts and mathematics.

But this thesis was refuted and proven to be wrong by Antonio Damasio in one of his works called “The Error of Descartes”. This was partly based on the story of Elliott, a kid that was very smart, who had above average rational capabilities, but incapable of making a decision, after a surgery to remove a brain tumor on the surface of his frontal lobes. After all his work in that matter, he concludes that a person who is incapable of emotion is incapable of making the most rational decisions.

The management of emotions is therefore completely inherent to good decision making, especially when making the most important decisions. To this end, here are 7 tips to put into practice to really master your emotions thus making the best decisions possible and never regreting them.

1. Take a step back

You must learn to take the time to identify and understand your emotions. Since physical reactions are emotionally related, also take the time to detect the reactions you have to some of your emotions. To be able to take the distance necessary to make decisions, it’s important to refer to your prefrontal cortex. This is the area of ​​the brain responsible for reasoning. To do so you need to put yourself in a stress-free environment for a few minutes.

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent and committed decision.” – Tony Robbins

2. Breathe

The best way to do this is to learn to breathe deeply. This will allow activating your prefrontal cortex again, therefore, to have better control of your emotions so you do not react to them, let alone to the event that causes these emotions. Do this exercise for at least 15 minutes. It’s amazing how you can train yourself never to react, no matter what the situation. Ideally, let at least 24 hours go by before responding to a situation that would normally cause tension.

3. Pay attention

Once you are in the prefrontal cortex, put one hand on your abdomen, at the level of your intestines, and the other hand on your heart, and take the time to listen. These two parts of the body are the two major centers of vibrations and emotions. This is why it’s important to listen and pay attention to them.

The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of your gut and heart. What you need to remember is that the only person you need to trust is yourself. By practicing this exercise, one thing will become very clear: what the emotion you feel seeks to convey to you about the decision you have to make.

Since everything is energy, first make sure that the vibration of the decision you are about to make and that of your heart and gut are in sync. You will then know whether to go ahead with your decision or reject it based on whether you feel serenity or heaviness.

4. Discern untruths

It is important to know whether your nervousness is the result of an untruth you’ve told yourself. These can corrupt the vibrations that should help you make the right decision. You have to throw out all of these untruths and come to the decision-making without any filter. Stop thinking that you’re unlucky, that you’re in a bad situation, that your life is a failure, or that you are a victim.

5. Become aware of your emotions instead of avoiding them

To become aware of your emotions, you must learn to coach yourself. Ask yourself questions: How did you feel the last time you had to ask these types of questions? What did you get in return? Rename what you felt and the result you obtained from what you decided to do. You will thus be much better at assimilating, understanding, and welcoming your emotions.

6. Be as present as possible

There is no point in focusing on the big events surrounding the decision you want to make. Concentrate instead on the present moment, without analyzing the events. Judge based on emotions rather than the event. By being more present, you will be better able to listen to your emotions and feel them.

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” – John C. Maxwell

7. Make your emotions your allies

Each of your emotions speaks to you through the physical and physiological reactions that they generate in you. Look to the weight of their impact on you as an indicator. Only by listening to them, using them, and managing them can you manage your emotions.

Habit comes with practice. With time, these 7 points will become much more natural and will become automatic. You will make better decisions for yourself.  This is one of the best ways to not end up with one of the big regrets.

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Life

How to Keep Your Mind Away From Distractions in This Tech-Loaded World

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Social media notifications, push notifications, email notifications, and messages from chatting apps, keep peeping from the notification area of our smartphones and invite us into a world of a never-ending loop. Perhaps, even if it is ending, it is not until we have wasted 15-20 minutes of our productive time in just checking different apps and emails that we realize the need to get back to what’s important. No wonder many organizations insist employees on keeping their mobile phones in lockers prior to proceeding to their desk!

Technology is so enslaving that we don’t realize what an endless loop we are stuck in when we are constantly replying to our friends and relatives on social media or checking that limitless newsfeed on our timelines. If all the time of the day is put together, we can observe that we spend almost 4-5 hours on social media with the total output zero and sometimes negative.

Of course, keeping smart phone on airplane mode or switching it to Do Not Disturb mode, or somewhere away from us is the first line of defense against distractions, there are other steps preceding it to really spend your day productively.

Adopt a Proactive Approach

This implies that prior to beginning the day, you must take-charge of it. Instead of letting the day rule you, it should be vice-versa. You must adopt a zealous approach by planning your day and if possible, hours. You should have the determination to pay no heed to distractions in place of just letting them ruin your day by reacting to your impulses.

Instead of acceding to the fact that distractions are surely going to come your way and take up the major portion of your productive time, think about the ways in which you can tackle them.

You need to ponder on the need to focus and be determined to remain so during the day. You need to take the following steps for it:

  1. Plan how you are going to spend the hours of your day and deadline for completing tasks.
  2. Consider your to-do list as a choice rather than a chore to be completed.
  3. Remind yourself of the consequences of surrendering to distractions instead of completing your work. For instance, getting a reprimand from the manager for consistently low productivity and quality or having to rush to complete the work at the end of the day.
  4. Visualize the benefits of the time you gained by winking at notifications. Perhaps, you can spend more quality time with your kids or researching your new business idea.
  5. Note down hourly productivity – How many tasks did you accomplish in the last one hour?

“An addiction to distraction is the end of your creative production.” – Robin Sharma

Enhance Your Concentration Power

What keeps your mind stick to a task until it is sufficiently completed, is your ability to concentrate. If your concentration power is stronger, distractions will not bother you. You have to sharpen your power to focus by consistent practice. Meditation is a great way to improve your ability to work on a single task for a long time. If possible make meditation a part of your daily routine. It will keep your mind silent and give it the power to resist distractions.

If you cannot find time to meditate at the start of the day, it is advisable to do a one minute meditation every hour or every time you get that urge to check social media or chat with a friend. This will bring back your attention to what you have to do instead of what you want to do.

Here is the best way to improve concentration power: Take Regular, Refreshing Breaks.

One of the major keys to staying charged up for work is to take regular breaks. Continuously working for hours is only going to make you feel more tired. Instead, take planned breaks and do what you like the most during those breaks.

Of course, you should check your phone to be aware of any urgent messages or calls; remember to take refreshing breaks rather than just keep scrolling through that never-ending newsfeed. Rejuvenate your senses by reading some motivational stuff, watching an inspiring video, taking a walk in the lobby or having a non-work related chat with a colleague, to recharge your batteries and get back to work with even more focus and passion.

One technique utilized and propagated by productivity gurus is the Pomodoro Technique. It is the practice of working in chunks of 25 minutes and then taking a break of 5 minutes. After 4 such sessions, you can elongate the break time to 15-20 minutes.

Have an Organized Mindset

Adopt an organized mindset towards all aspects of your life. Keep clearing irrelevant mails, adding e-mail addresses to spam, organizing all your photos and videos on one drive, keeping all your documents accessible from one place, etc. Keeping your life clutter free and organized right from your shoe-rack to your locker, empowers your ability to spend your time in a disciplined way.

Even when it comes to online browsing, keep it limited to certain topics rather than just browsing and then jumping from that topic to all the related topics. Note down the ideas you would like to research on a specific day instead of randomly browsing through a plethora of topics.

Also, jot down the points which you found useful. Set aside an hour or 30 minutes of time for this. If you feel the need to read that lengthy but useful article, then save it under bookmarks, instead of swaying and spending more than the planned  time on it.

These seemingly little, yet practical things, help you adopt the same approach towards your day and work.

“By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.” – Christopher Columbus

It is a fact that technology has taken up major share of our life, however, it would be a misjudgment to regard it as bad. If maneuvered the right way, it can help us live a more disciplined life. It is a boon but if we let it rule us instead of us ruling on it then it may eat up most of our focus and productive time of our day.

What distractions do you feel take most of your time? What steps you have taken up to put the brakes on them, apart from just whining about them? Ponder over it, take a proactive approach, and share your action plan with us by commenting in the section below.

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