Life
The One Concept We All Need to Accept for a Happier Life

Best Man Speech: “I met Caleb when I was 15. I’ve been with him through a broken collar bone when he got sacked in football, being suspended from school when we well…let’s just say got in trouble. I’ve been with him through his first heartbreak and I will never forget the night he told me he was going to marry Jackie. You two are meant for each other, I knew it from the first time I saw you together. So, let’s raise a glass to Caleb and Jackie, today is a day filled with happiness but remember, This Too Shall Pass”.
Can you imagine?
Have you ever been having the time of your life, laughing, smiling, you are feeling so happy and then someone says to you, “This too shall pass”? Probably not!
That phrase is usually only used when you are going through a challenging time in your life, not something you would hear at a wedding, birthday party, the excitement from a promotion…am I right?
This too shall pass is a Persian phrase that reflects on the temporary nature or impermanence of anything and everything.
An early English citation of “This too shall pass” appears first in 1848. It was also notably used in a speech by Abraham Lincoln before he was president in 1859.
This too shall pass means that the difficult things you are facing will pass, but it also does mean the amazing things you experience will pass as well. In other words, impermanence.
What is impermanence?
Impermanence is the state of accepting that everything is temporary. Acceptance of impermanence is not meant to make you a Debbie Downer. The idea is that it allows you to cope more easily with challenging times if you can accept that life is fluid.
If you come to the conclusion that life is not permanent, and neither is anything in it (relationships, children, job, physical capabilities, financial status, etc.), then you are more likely to react gracefully when something in your life changes.
Impermanence can give you hope that the painful moments you are facing will not last forever. It also can encourage you to work on being more present because the truth is that you, your relationships, your job, and your mental state will not always be in a permanent state of happiness and bliss.
“When things are bad, remember: It won’t always be this way. Take one day at a time. When things are good remember: It won’t always be this way. Enjoy every great moment.” –Doc Zantamata
What can you gain by learning to accept impermanence?
- You accept that bad things will come to an end
- You accept that good things will come to an end
- You accept ALL emotions are fluid and will not last forever
- You accept that life is dynamic, not static
When you are happy, enjoy it! Treasure those moments and be as present as you can be. When you are hurting, feel it, acknowledge it, learn from it and know it will not last forever. You never know if your next moment will be a good moment or bad moment, but what you do know is that whichever it is, it will change.
How do you accept impermanence? Well, you already have before and probably didn’t even realize it. Think back to the last time you had the cold or the flu. You didn’t say to yourself, “Ok, this is it. It’s been a good life. I’m dying.” Ok, maybe you felt like that for a second, but in reality, you knew that it would last 3-5 days and you would feel better again. That is practicing and accepting impermanence.
Embracing impermanence in my life has made me more mindful of living in the present and more emotionally grounded. It also reminds me that things will happen in life that I don’t have control over, but I get to control how to respond to them.
Let’s try that Best Man Speech again…
“I met Caleb when I was 15. I’ve been with him through a broken collar bone when he got sacked in football, being suspended from school when we well…let’s just say got in trouble. I’ve been with him through his first heartbreak and I will never forget the night he told me he was going to marry Jackie. You two are meant for each other, I knew it from the first time I saw you together. The advice I give you today I’ve learned during my own journey. In my own marriage and in life, I have learned to embrace impermanence. You will have amazing moments together, that will pass. You will have challenges you will face, that will pass as well and be replaced with happy moments again. This journey you are on together is fluid and will forever be changing, embrace all of it! It’s all a part of the ride you are taking together. Oh, and have lots of sex! Let’s raise a glass to Caleb and Jackie!”
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
-
Success Advice4 weeks ago
The Dark Side of Success: How to Identify and Avoid Toxic Leaders
-
Success Advice4 weeks ago
Why Every Successful Business Needs a Co-founder
-
Success Advice4 weeks ago
How to Fast Track Your Career for Guaranteed Success
-
Success Advice3 weeks ago
How to Focus Your Mind on Your Goals in 2023 Constructively
-
Life3 weeks ago
Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness
-
Entrepreneurs3 weeks ago
How to Lose a Team in 10 Days: Are You a True Leader?
-
Success Advice3 weeks ago
How to Develop a Following of Passionate Fans Even Before Launch
-
Success Advice3 weeks ago
How to Think Like a CEO for Your Future Success