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The One Choice That Can Change Your Life Forever

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“One thing to achieve this along with five steps to overcome that and supposedly success will arrive at our front door.” We read headlines like that all the time, yet most of those claims are bogus. How many times have you tried to change a habit within 21 days only to hit the wall on day 2? Perhaps you make it all the way to day 21 and then day 22 arrives without that transformation in hand. What then?

What if I told you that there is one thing you could do that would set you apart from the pack? There are many skills needed to achieve success, but only one goes unnoticed time and time again. 

Decades ago, I was an events coordinator for a large faith based organization. I watched people come weekend after weekend to conferences and retreats. Some of them would have “life changing” experiences. Within weeks, they would be back. Something happened to that amazing moment. Somehow “it” didn’t stick. What was missing?

I do genuinely believe that individuals have experiences at events. I also know for a fact that an experience doesn’t translate into a changed life without this one element. 

As a yoga therapist, I spend one hour with clients weekly and as we get to the 45 minute mark, I round the corner. What does that mean? I step into what identifies the key to a transformational change. It starts with a variety of questions. “Reflect back, what stands out to you as important?” That question is obviously a call to begin to reflect. More than that, it is a moment to begin to integrate the experience. 

”You cannot have a meaningful life without having self-reflection.” – Oprah Winfrey

Here are the next questions I ask:

  • What was revealed to you? 
  • What about the experience that you had was life changing? 
  • How did it change you in the moment? 
  • What action can you take to bring that life altering experience into your evening, tonight? 
  • How can you bring it into your day, tomorrow? 
  • How can you make room for it throughout this week? 
  • What action are you going to take to ensure that it wasn’t a fleeting one time fluke?

Reflection and integration are the keys to incorporating experiences and making real and lasting change. Teaching my clients this one tool of integration is the game changer. Taking each of us closer from the experiences we have to the life we want to be living. 

You don’t have to wait for a life altering experience to begin. Every night, set aside 5 minutes, grab a pen and notebook and reflect back on your day. 

What were the highlights? When did you react versus respond? Why? What buttons were pushed? When did you do your best work? What made you happy? What was frustrating? Then, integrate the reflections. What stands out to you as important? What will help support you to do more of your best work? What will empower you to respond well versus react poorly?

”By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” – Confucius

Take the time, reflect back upon your days and experiences, integrate the highlights and form action steps towards creating the change you want to see in your life. 

Do you self-reflect on your life by journaling? If so, what are the key benefits you’ve experienced from journaling? Share them with us below!

Elle Miller is a trauma-informed C-IAYT yoga therapist and Body Advocate working to bring transformation into the workplace. Her specialty is finding spaces that shift anxiety and burnout, zoom fatigue, and disconnection.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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