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The Hide and Seek Of Happiness – Where To Look and How To Find It

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Finding Happiness The Bucket List

I just finished watching the film, ‘The Bucket List’, one of my all time favourite, feel-good movies. Not only do I like the entertaining duo of Morgan Freeman the benevolent, wise soul and Jack Nicholson, who has the alacrity of a 5 year old, but I also like the significance of the film. ‘Our quest in life’. I think we all spend our lives on a quest. Osho referred to life as a quest and not a question, maybe a quest for meaning, for love, perhaps an esoteric piece of wisdom and for many … the quest for happiness.

There’s a scene in The Bucket List where Nicholson reads the letter Freeman wrote him, where he says, ‘find the joy in your life.’

FIND THE JOY. How do we define joy? Is a large portion of our lives spent on the attainment of happiness and is it sustainable? Happiness is an emotion, a mood, a feeling, and a dynamic state. It isn’t a destination we miraculously arrive at, it’s about cultivating moments’ of joy throughout the journey, and most importantly … happiness is a decision. It’s derived from intrinsic motivation. If we’re continually questioning when we’ll find happiness, and what exactly will create that happiness, then we’re depending on external factors and therefore not being accountable for our own lives.

Aristotle Happiness In Life Create A Bucket ListThe Greek philosopher Aristotle, devoted his research to the study of happiness. Aristotle questioned the meaning of life and the purpose of human existence suggesting that happiness was the fundamental motivator. He related it to virtue and attainment for the greater good, as opposed to individualistic gain and defined virtue as maintaining the median. Artistotle’s theory is comparable to the Buddhist philosophy of the ‘middle path’ or the ‘middle way’, which is concerned with the balance between hedonism and abstinence.

Buddhists also advocate that contentment is a more achievable state than happiness. If we reflect on the catalysts in our lives that have generated happiness, buying a new car, passing an exam, falling in love to name a few examples, I’m sure we would discover these states are temporary, impermanent and therefore … unsustainable.

In her article ‘Being Happy’, Doctor Charmaine Saunders provides three main tips for attaining happiness which include, conquering your fears, what she refers to as ‘looking for the gem’ and seeing the magic. Dr Saunders posits that our fear stifles many aspects of our life and that instead looking for the positives is a surer way to happiness.

In 1972, Bhutan’s fourth King Jigme Singye Wangchuck, coined the phrase Gross National Happiness (GNH) to demonstrate his commitment in developing a nation established on Buddhist principles. This concept was later developed by Kara Ura The Director of the Centre for Bhutan Studies, to holistically measure the quality of national well-being.

The research concluded that the factors contributing to individual and therefore collective happiness included, the work-life balance, good governance, sustainable socio-economic development, cultural preservation, and environmental conservation and has since been adopted by various other leading nations. It seems the quest for happiness is now a global phenomenon.

 

The path to a more content life

 

The Bucket List Of Your Life

Healthy mind, healthy body

There is an old expression which refers to a healthy body in a healthy mind – Mens sana in corpore sano. I promote the regular exercise, balanced diet theory, however, I’m also an advocate for holistic health and feel that if we are in a continual state of stress and anxiety, we don’t possess the motivation to eat, eat nutritiously, cook or to engage in exercise. Our eating patterns become irregular, we crave for foods containing high quantities of sugar, salts and starch, sleep routines become disrupted and irregular and we don’t possess the impetus to exercise or even socialise. These factors can contribute to severe mental health issues including depression, anxiety disorders and a range of physical conditions.

Constant worry, stress, fatigue and physical ailments, may be an indication that you need to reassess key relationships, career, and seeking the guidance and support of a health professional, to implement changes to your lifestyle, which leads me to my next point …

 

A balanced lifestyle

‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy …’ another cliché or perhaps another universal truth? With rapid globalisation and technological advancement, human beings are in a constant state of flux. Work demands, financial obligations and family commitments are common stressors which can affect our quality of life. Happiness is about maintaining the balance between the physical, emotional, and spiritual.

Sufficient rest, exercise and a balanced, healthy diet are essential, as well as discovering a talent, hobby, enrolling in a course, learning to meditate or practicing yoga, however, make sure you engage in activities and, with people you feel enhance your life, and contribute to it positively. Whatever you choose to do and whomever you choose to do it with, just remember that everything in life is interconnected, and occurs in duality, there are always seeds of hope in despair and fear at it’s best is inspiration, it is up to us to create the balance.

 

A Bucket List

If you haven’t all ready, I would strongly recommend you rent the film ‘The Bucket List’. If anything at all, I’m sure you will at least take away with you, the courage to convert your fears and create your own bucket list. Find half an hour to sit down somewhere quiet and start creating your list. Perhaps there are things you have always wanted to do but have always deterred yourself because instead, you listen to that little voice inside your, or perhaps to that little nagging voice of others. Maybe you have always had the support of others but have never had the self-belief and confidence.

Drown out the inner noise and that voice of others and … just write it. Once you have written your list, it might also require further planning, for example, if your list contains goals that involve finances, such as travel, or a specific allocation of time, like a course of study. Don’t forget to specify your short, mid and long term goals, a time frame and additional considerations to achieve the outcome.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain, it’s all an experience and it’s how you reframe that experience which determines the ‘real’ outcome.

To quote my Mum, who always adopts a positive approach to life ‘don’t be afraid of succeeding!’ I questioned her, thinking she made an error, and that what she meant to say was ‘don’t be afraid of failing’, but she assured me, that, ‘don’t be afraid of succeeding’ was precisely, what she meant to say.

Enjoy the journey …

Charlette is a qualified Social Worker and lecturer in ESL, and currently teaches refugees and migrants from diverse ethnic backgrounds. Charlette would like to use her writing as a catalyst for social awareness to empower, motivate and inspire people and make a meaningful difference. Her writing is informed by her increasing knowledge from her work, volunteering and activism, which contributes to her writing.

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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Practicing Self-Devotion: 3 Ways Towards a More Mindful and Compassionate You

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I can still hear the voices of my older relatives and my elementary school teachers telling me “be disciplined”, “keep at it”, to give time and energy towards what we want. As a young, impressionable child, I believed all those things because well, they made sense. They worked. And honestly, I felt like it’s the only way to flourish. (more…)

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