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10 Inspirational Documentaries That Will Change Your Life

Joel Brown

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Documentaries have long been appreciated genres in the film industry. The quality and popularity of some of the documentaries have resulted in notable successes at the Academy Awards, but also at prestigious film festivals.

Here is a compilation of 10 inspirational documentaries that will change your life. The mix includes emotional and thrilling subjects, ranging from the most delicate to the most entertaining and educational.

 

Inspirational Documentaries Worth Watching

 

1. Senna (2010)

The life and struggles of a champion

Ayrton Senna was the definitive genius behind the steering wheel. The former Formula One racing driver has collected a total of 41 victories and 65 pole positions, making him the winner of the World Drivers Championships three times. But his greatest victory was beyond the race track, it was the respect coming from the people who loved him. He was adored in his native Brazil and reached superstar status in the ’80s and ’90s. His spotless career and fame was only marked by his rivalry with another race star, Alain Prost.

The documentary is a splendid outlook on his life, his achievements, his personal life and it is an inspiring example how the power of a single person can make a huge impact.

 

 

2. I am (2010)

A great story about hope, recovery and optimism

Optimism and positive thinking are key to a fast recovery. After suffering a near death accident while mountain-biking, Tom Shadyac, the director of the Ace Ventura films, has went through a period of slow, painstaking recovery. While going through the difficult moments and numerous doctor’s appointments, he understands and reflects on the different things that are going wrong in the world. This documentary is an inspiration for anyone going through tough times, who feel that they are in dire straits or have no hope. Knowing that there is hope is crucial and this film shows that through positive thinking, everything is possible.

 

 

3. Kumare (2011)

Profound teaching wrapped in a social experiment

A provocative social experiment-turned-documentary, KUMARE follows American filmmaker Vikram Gandhi as he transforms himself into a wise Indian guru, hoping to prove the absurdity of blind faith. Instead, he finds himself forging profound connections with people from all walks of life — and wondering if and when to reveal his true self.

Will his followers accept his final teaching? Can this illusion reveal a greater spiritual truth? Winner of South by Southwest’s Audience Award, KUMARE is an insightful look at faith and belief.

 

4. Man on Wire (2008)

Heartening, moving, courageous and bold

1974 saw a daring act of courage from Frenchman Phillippe Petit, who performed a high-wire walk between the two World Trade Center skyscrapers in New York. This exciting documentary follows Phillippe as he prepares for his mission. It shows the planning phases, his method and training and, of course, the ultimate feat, the high-walk, done without any safety measures.

Man on wire features an enthusiastic dialogue and entertaining narration, with spectacular imagery, creating a wonderful atmosphere. Finally, the viewer is left to marvel at his courage and skill, while some may question his motives or motivations for such an endeavor. But the real lesson behind it is that you must follow your dreams, whatever they are.

 

5. Searching For Sugar Man (2012)

A story f a man who could have been if he never gave up

Searching For Sugar Man tells the incredible true story of Rodriguez the greatest `70s rock icon who never was. After being discovered in a Detroit bar Rodriguez’s sound struck 2 renowned producers and they signed a recording deal. But when the album bombed the singer disappeared into obscurity. A bootleg recording found its way into apartheid South Africa and over the next two decades he became a phenomenon.

The film follows the story of two South African fans who set out to find out what really happened to their hero.

 

6. Hungry For Change (2012)

Find inspiration to change your lifestyle

This is the perfect documentary for any health and fitness buff out there. Knowing the best recipes, foods and beverages to reach your ultimate goal of a perfect body is essential, and this film sheds light on various practices and deceptive strategies employed by large companies in the field. Interviews with health specialists and bestselling authors, as well as physicians will also help you get out of the diet trap. However, the most inspirational part of the film is the success stories of some of the people who risked and changed their lifestyles, finally overcoming obesity or other health problems.

 

7. Finding Joe (2011)

An Inspiring documentary that shows us all, “We Are Our Own Hero”

In the early 20th century while studying world mythology, Joseph Campbell discovered a pattern hidden in every story ever told. He called it “the hero’s journey.” Finding Joe explores how the hero’s journey is relevant and essential in today’s world. It provides a narrative for how to live a fully realized life or, as Campbell would simply state, how to “follow your bliss.”

This documentary takes us on an inspirational quest of self-discovery. As you slay dragons and uncover treasures, you just may find that the holy grail you seek is closer than you think.

 

8. Sans Soleil (1983)

Travel and discover your true self

Chris Marker’s exciting documentary follows the traveler through a journey from San Francisco to Africa and from Japan to Iceland, covering breathtaking scenery and exhilarating experiences. The film is narrated by a pleasant female voice and features stunning images from various parts of the world. Viewers will enjoy superb shots of Icelandic people, a Japanese temple dedicated to cats and much more.

The cinematography in this documentary is absolutely impressive and will leave you mesmerized.

 

9. Happy (2011)

Learning how to become a truly happy person

Happy is a thoughtful documentary which examines the cause of happiness. While depression, anxiety and other negative emotions have been studied numerous times before, what makes a person happy has remained a mystery. Featuring a collection of interviews with people from diverse cultures and communities, Happy shows the simple and basic elements that can cause happiness. From community dwellers in Denmark, to a 60-year old surfer from Brazil, or the cheerful inhabitants of Okinawa, the film is packed with positive and optimistic stories of life and will become a real inspiration for any viewer.

 

10. When We Were Kings (1996)

The story of a challenge and how to overcome it

Muhammad Ali was 32 in 1974, and many thought he should retire, that he was way past his prime, that he couldn’t fight anymore. His competitor is George Forman, ten years younger and the current Heavyweight champion of the world. Don King, a relatively unknown boxing promoter, decides to lure the fighters with 5 million dollars each for the match, and the only financial backer for this plan is Mobutu Sese Suko, the dictator of Zaire. This is how this famous boxing match in history started, known as “Rumble in the Jungle”. It shows the intense build up and training prior to the fight and includes interviews with the athletes and their coaches. Also, this inspirational documentary features guest appearances by James Brown, Spike Lee and Thomas Hauser among others.

When We Were Kings was critically praised and it won the Academy Award for the Best Documentary Feature in 1996.

 

Have you viewed any documentaries recently that have helped change your life?

Please share them with us and leave a comment about your recommended documentary.

 

Article By Joel Brown | Addicted2Success.com

I am the the Founder of Addicted2Success.com and I am so grateful you're here to be part of this awesome community. I love connecting with people who have a passion for Entrepreneurship, Self Development & Achieving Success. I started this website with the intention of educating and inspiring likeminded people to always strive for success no matter what their circumstances. I'm proud to say through my podcast and through this website we have impacted over 100 million lives in the last 6 and a half years.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. richard

    Mar 5, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    Great post! I am also addicted to success. lol

  2. Geraldine Kelly

    Aug 25, 2014 at 7:35 am

    “Serving Life”- which can be found on Netflix- is by far the most inspirational documentary I have ever seen. Synopsis: Inmates find a sense of redemption for their crimes by volunteering in the prison hospice, offering compassion to other prisoners as they die.

    I met one of the inmates (Charles Rodgers) in person- and I must say, my life has never been the same. Remarkable individual.

  3. Jenny

    Jan 25, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    I Am and Happy have changed my life, the way I think, the way I act, and Me altogether. I wish the whole world could see them and really understand what it truly means to be alive 🙂

  4. Manny Calejo

    Jun 13, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    I have seen Sena & Kumare. Here are my thoughts; Sena shows passion and courage to stand up for what right. It also shows that competition is good and bring out the best in us if we are willing to step up and compete. I thought Kumare was outstanding!!! I won’t say anything else.

  5. Shawn Shashidharan

    Jun 11, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    Just watched. When We Were Kings (1996). Loved it.

  6. Mikal

    May 3, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    “The Pursuit Of Happyness” is a very inspirational movie

  7. anonymous

    Apr 13, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Jiro Dreams of Sushi

  8. CJ Langley

    Apr 11, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    Thanks for the list…added a few to my “must see soon” list! At the end of the day when you are up to your neck practical thoughts, some inspiration to put those thoughts in action can be very motivating!

  9. John Southee

    Apr 11, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    I love watching documentaries. Most of them are way better than any reality TV. I have see a handful of the one’s listed on this list. Some recommendations for people who like Documentaries as much as me are: Crazy Sexy Cancer which is about a woman who is diagnosed with cancer and tries to figure out different way in which she can cure herself.

    Another is Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead which is about a man who gets sick and tired of being overweight and after he is diagnosed with an illness he decides enough is enough. He began a diet and losing weight to try to heal himself.

    It’s awesome to watch people do amazing things to inspire yourself to do amazing things.

  10. Pete Dyson

    Apr 11, 2013 at 9:50 am

    The Secret is a pretty good documentary, it inspired me to chase success.

    • bob

      May 16, 2013 at 3:33 am

      Then your an idiot, believing that hocus pocus bullshit. Wikipedia it and see the real motivation of the film maker

      • Quinton

        May 25, 2013 at 3:39 pm

        Bob we’re all here for inspiration and motivation. Negativity is not needed nor wanted on any posts. Great List Joel- some of these titles are available on Netflix! Make it an awesome day!

  11. Paul F Davis

    Apr 10, 2013 at 4:56 am

    Awesome! Thanks for sharing.

    Paul F Davis – life coach for success

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Life

How Never Giving Up Can Lead You From Pain and Suffering to Ease and Joy

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I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.

Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.

Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:

1. I took responsibility for my actions

I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.  

This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.

For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.

Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.

2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down

I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.

Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.

After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!

I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale

3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible

As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.

I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.

4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free

This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.  

I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.

There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.

5. I became a new version of me

In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.

Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.

This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher

6. I became open to new ideas and concepts

In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.

Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends.  After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.

Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.

What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

As Bad As Smoking? 3 Reasons to Occasionally Unplug From Technology

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A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.

As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.

Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:

1. Face-To-Face Interaction

As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.

There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.

If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.

2. Creative Thinking

Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.

Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius

3. Health Concerns

The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?

In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.

“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’

“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”

Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.

Bonus: Stress Reduction

With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.

I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.

If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.

“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer

Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.

How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.

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3 Ways to Have More Time by Living More Proactively

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We live in a reactive world. We feel compelled to check and respond to digital tools at a moment’s notice. A few minutes here and a few there checking email, responding to Slack messages, and replying to Facebook posts add up to a significant amount of time over the course of a day, week, and month. This precious time could be spent writing a book, training for a race, or being with your kids.

There’s a better way: live proactively. It means starting each day with purpose by taking control of what you do and when you do it. Embrace the proactive habits below and you’ll be amazed at what you accomplish.

1. Know Where Your Time Goes

It’s critical to start every day with a plan that details what you’re going to do and when. Take a few minutes each evening to create a schedule for the day ahead, hour-by-hour. Note your current commitments, like “meeting from 12pm to 1pm.” Then, give yourself large chunks of time to complete your priorities for the day.  

On Monday evening you plan your day for Tuesday, which could look something like this:

6am – 8am: Write draft of article

8am – 9am: Commute to work

9am – 11am: Write report

11am – 12pm: Attend meeting

You get the idea. Without a plan, it’s too easy to spend your days reacting to others: agreeing to take on a project or deciding to attend a last-minute meeting. This is a sure-fire way to unnecessarily drag out your days, leaving you with little time for anything else.

Planning your day takes a little upfront effort, but the results pay dividends in return. You’ll get a lot done in less time.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin

2. Determine When You’re Available to Communicate

You can’t be a hermit all day, every day. You’ll have to respond to people either personally or digitally at some point. That’s why you should determine in advance when you’re available to others to answer questions and discuss issues with friends and colleagues. Experiment and find a block of time that works for you, and include it in your daily schedule.

This proactive approach gives you a block of time to handle communication, instead of here and there throughout the day—a practice that can eat away at your day. Plus, using a block of time to handle correspondence sets the expectation for others: they can’t interrupt and pepper you all day long with questions.

3. Focus, Focus, Focus

Now that you’ve got a plan in place, it’s time to hone in on the details: do one task at a time. This way of working is at odds with the rest of the world, since it’s popular today to multitask. It’s common to see employees working on one monitor and responding to Slack messages on another. But there’s a problem with multitasking: it doesn’t work.

When we “multitask,” we’re not really doing multiple things at once. Rather, we’re doing “individual actions in rapid succession,” as pointed out by the Cleveland Clinic. We are in fact “mono-taskers.”

Eliminating digital distractions helps you to focus completely on the task at hand. Put your smartphone on silent and move it out of sight so you’re not tempted to check it while working. Close your email and Slack tabs. In other words, proactively eliminate digital and physical clutter, and you’ll find you get more quality work done when you focus and do things one at a time.

“What I’ve learned in these 11 years is you just got to stay focused and believe in yourself and trust your own ability and judgment.” – Mark Cuban

Above all, living proactively is a shift in mindset. Instead of saying “let’s see what blows up at the office today” and reacting to every whim, begin the day with purpose and be proactive with your time and attention—both are limited.

How do you make sure you use your time wisely? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

9 Tips to Increase Your Charisma and Charm

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Most of us can probably name a person or two who can walk into a room and instantly become the center of attention. Some people seem to have a sort of natural charisma making them successful in social situations.

On the other hand, plenty of people out there lack any sort of natural charisma. They can be the smartest person in the world, but put them in a party and ask them to make friends and they become clueless. While it is possible to go through life without any charisma, not being able to carry on a conversation and not being able to make friends easily can make your life significantly harder. Thankfully, there are ways to make yourself more charismatic and more charming.

Here are 9 proven tips that will help make you more charismatic:

1. Learn proper posture

One simple way to make yourself more charismatic to those around you is to have proper posture. You should sit up straight and make yourself as tall as possible. Do not lean on your elbows or do anything like that. Sit up straight with your hands either at your sides or in front of you.

Believe it or not, having correct posture actually makes you feel more confident, which then makes you feel more willing to engage in conversation. When you are more willing to engage in conversation, you will appear more charismatic and more charming to those around you.

2. Do not underestimate the power of physical contact

Part of being charismatic is knowing when physical contact is needed. Uncharismatic people tend to shun physical contact and often do not know when to do it appropriately.

So, if you want to be more charismatic, then you should master when physical contact is appropriate and when it is not. For example, if a friend is crying or very upset, a hand on the shoulder or a hug (depending on how close of a friend they are) is appropriate.

Sometimes physical contact is even more appropriate than mere words.

3. Learn to recognize nonverbal cues

Very often people will not state how they are feeling. People will tell you they are feeling fine, even when deep down they are not. However, just because they do not say how they feel does not mean they do not give any clues.

You can often tell how a person is feeling about something based on facial expressions or body language. This should tell you what sort of mood they are in and how you should interact with them. We often associate charisma with things like telling good stories or making people laugh, yet a big part of charisma is simply knowing what sorts of things to say (or not to say) to people. Part of the way you figure out what to say to people is by reading their body language.

“I speak two languages, Body and English.” – Mae West

4. Know when to use humor

A big part of being charismatic is knowing how to use humor. Know when to make jokes and what sort of jokes to make. Too often, people constantly throw out jokes on the false assumption that it makes them likable. However, the timing of a joke is just as important as its contents. Making jokes at the wrong time makes you come off as uncharismatic. So, read the mood of others around you before throwing out a joke.

5. Learn to ask questions

We usually do not consider asking questions to be “charismatic,” but asking questions, and specifically the right kind of questions, is a great way to keep a conversation going.

People love to talk about themselves and they love to talk about what they are interested in. Charismatic people know this, which is why a charismatic person will spend as little time talking about themselves as possible.

Plus, by asking questions, you can find common areas of interest, which will allow you to expand your conversation topics.

6. Know how to listen effectively

This point goes hand-in-hand with the last one. Not only should you learn how to ask questions, but you should also learn to how to listen.

We all know that cliché about how women like men who are good listeners, well it is true and it applies to everyone, not just women. Sometimes, people simply want to talk to someone who will actually listen to their problems.

Knowing how to be a good listener will make people like you more since good listeners are so rare.

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”- Ernest Hemingway

7. Memorize as many names as you can

This is a really small, but effective tip for coming across as more charismatic. Remembering a person’s name is a great way of signaling to them that they are important, which makes them feel better. Again, this is a very small tip, but you will be surprised at how much more charismatic you come across if you consistently remember people’s names.

8. Learn to talk with your hands

Believe it or not, using hand gestures while talking does make you come across as more charismatic. Now, we don’t mean that you should be swinging your hands around, but some light hand gestures while telling a story can help make people more engrossed in what you are saying. So, next time you want to really get people interested in what you are saying, try putting down whatever is in your hands and add in some gestures.

9. Cut out filler from your vocabulary

We all occasionally throw in an “umm” or an “uuuh” when talking (especially if we are telling a long story), but you should try cut down on the number of times that you use filler words like the ones we just mentioned. A hallmark of charisma is being able to talk for a long time without using a lot of filler. The best way to go about this is to simply keep track of how often you use filler words and slowly work on improving your speaking skills.

Which one of these tips are you going to start to implement? Let us know by commenting below!

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How A 45 Year Old Co-worker Inspired Me To Date Again

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Wow, it sucks to go through another breakup, especially as it’s been less than a year since the last one! I thought I would never date again until a 45-year-old co-worker said this to me:

“If at 45 I can go on Tinder being massively overweight, and not the best to look at, and have lots of guys wanting to date me, then so can you.”

This co-worker had been single for over a decade. She smoked heavily and swore never to date again. That was until her slightly quirky family decided to create a dating profile for her on Tinder.

She met many men on Tinder. There was:

– Tony Soprano with his gambling addiction
– There was chef with his quirkiness
– There was “Tradie” with his 30-year-old model body and six pack
– There was “bikie” who attempted a forced kiss in the middle of a dark car park

All of this got me thinking: “If a 45-year-old who claims that they are not much to look at can have success in dating, then why can’t a young buck like me sort this stuff out?”

Seeing my co-worker’s success inspired me. I vowed to set myself a goal to get this area of my life sorted out. The only problem is I become like an assassin when there’s a goal I want to achieve.

I became obsessed with this whole dating game.

I had no idea what a dating app was.

I had never sent texts to girls that I had never met in person before.

I was terrified of the potential rejection.

What did I do? I just did it anyway and you can do the same.

The myth is that dating isn’t challenging for all of us. It is. We are all afraid to date after a major breakup because we fear that we might someday die lonely.

 

For the next 5 months, I became obsessed with this dating goal.

I figured if I were going to reach this goal of finding someone through online dating, I would have to put in the work to shorten the time it takes. Many of my friends have been single for more than 5 years and I decided that was not going to happen to me.

I signed up for dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, eHarmony and Happn.
I went on coffee dates before work.
I went on coffee dates during lunchtime.
I went on coffee dates after work.

 

And then I made sure I was in the zone.

No matter the day or time I was doing something to push my dating game further.

I bought new clothes.
I bought new shoes.
I bought new aftershave.

Not to impress the girls, but to make sure I was feeling good before each date. I wanted to put in the maximum effort I could so that if I failed, I knew that I had given it everything I could.

 

The start was full of fear.

The first date was horrible. It was a friend of a friend that had been crowdsourced via Facebook for me. I wasn’t ready and she was not really my type. She was into pole dancing and collecting these crystals that apparently heal you or something like that. It was sooooo not me.

I rolled up to the date one hour early to ensure I didn’t miss getting car parking. I waited around until 8 pm for her. She messaged at 8 pm and said she was leaving home now and would be late. I thought to myself, “Clearly this whole dating thing is going to be hard, especially given I am obsessed with productivity and don’t like having my time wasted.”

“Instead of being pissed off, I committed not to tell myself negative stories. I became committed to not getting upset easily like most people do in life”

She finally arrived and I felt quite sick for some bizarre reason. I ordered the drinks and then she paid without me getting a chance to stop her because she felt bad for being late. This was already a mini failure as letting the girl pay on the first date is usually seen as a very bad idea.

At the end of the date, I stupidly asked for a second date and she said yes. I never ended up getting the second date and thank god for that. It did hurt my ego a little.

 

I then went on more than 50 dates with 50 different women.

This might seem like freaking madness but I believe that to be successful at any goal you need to get really good at your chosen task. On the first date, I sucked big time at dating. After a few dates though, I became really good at it. I figured out quickly what I wanted which I had never done before.

The fear started to dissipate and before long I was completely comfortable. I’d check the apps throughout the day to get fresh leads, meet them, narrow down the list, and then attempt to close them by asking for a second date.

My process was a lot like managing a sales pipeline through a piece of software like Salesforce. It was methodical, intentional, unwavering and organized chaos.

 

You can date anyone if you believe you can. You can do anything.

The reason I had failed relationships in the past was that I never thought carefully about what I wanted. I somehow thought I wasn’t good enough. Because of this belief, I limited the parameters of my dating apps only to include girls who were no more than two years younger.

I secretly wanted a younger girlfriend but never thought they would go for me. I thought I was too old and that they wouldn’t be able to relate to me. I didn’t swipe right on the good-looking profile pictures because I thought they would never go for an average looking guy like me.

Somewhere along the way when I wasn’t succeeding at my goal, I revaluated what I was doing. I realized I was selling myself short.

I started swiping on stunners.
I opened the age range right up.

To my own disbelief, I was stunned.

Amazing looking models wanted to go on dates with me. Girls that were near geniuses wanted to go on dates with me. Girls who were a lot younger than me were throwing themselves at me. It turns out that I was limiting my chances, not the real world.

The lesson here is to be careful what you filter out. You may be filtering out exactly what you want.

 

My friends thought I was mad.

They told me it could take 5 years. They told me I may never find someone and I needed to potentially accept this concept. I told myself this was BS. I knew that if I kept trying and didn’t let all of the fear and failure defeat me, I’d be triumphant. I visualized the day I would get my goal.

“Being obsessed with a goal looks like madness to the average Joe; the truth is that it’s how you get stuff done and get what you want in life”

 

Watching Netflix and saying The universe will make it happen doesn’t work.

There’s a lot of this “Law Of Attraction,” praise a statue mumbo jumbo that’s floating around nowadays. People say that it will happen when it’s meant to happen. This mindset will destroy your goal and any chance of being successful at dating.

“Your goal will happen when you put in the work and make it happen”

The dating gods are not going to ride in on a rainbow unicorn and give you some drop-dead gorgeous person who’s got a perfectly tanned body, and an amazing ass, with an incredible personality.

Get to work and stop allowing wet dreams to ruin your life.

Sitting on the couch numbing your brain with Netflix doesn’t work either.

 

Don’t let desperation overcome you.

One of the girls I met decided to go for someone else. I was shortlisted and lost. She then messaged me to tell me that after a couple of days, her new man forced her head down to the bed and wouldn’t let her leave the room.

She asked me what she should do. Naturally, I told her to leave this horrible man as violence is never acceptable. This girl came across as desperate with every interaction I had with her. She also showed me that she would make other bad decisions and then blame the world.

All of this was due to desperation. Don’t let your need of finding someone allow you to make dumb decisions. You’ll regret it later.

 

Never be anyone’s Plan B.

This same girl then came back to me later after she dumped this violent man and tried to go on another date with me. I’ve learned over the years that it’s never a good idea to be someone’s Plan B. If you weren’t good enough from the start, then you never will be. I told this girl no and moved on.

 

What I didn’t do!

Use the apps as a way to randomly sleep with as many girls as possible. In the short term this will stroke your ego; in the long term, you’ll feel like garbage. Dating is not designed to boost your ego and is far better when you concentrate on your long-term happiness.

I also didn’t attempt to date multiple girls at the same time. This doesn’t work and you’ll get found out. Lying destroys all of your hopes and dreams except you never find out that it’s the true cause. Lying gets disguised in other people’s opinions about why you failed.

You will fail if you lie or become a whore.

 

The problem with online dating.

You start to believe there’s always someone better. You never settle for any prospect that comes your way. The slightest thing that annoys you about the other person can make you think you should keep looking through more profiles.

One girl told me that everything about me was good but she couldn’t deal with the fact I’m vegetarian. Being this trivial is stupid.

Every person you want to date has flaws including you.
You’ll learn to love their flaws in the long-term.
Having a shopping list of wants is great way to be disappointed and remain single.

 

How to avoid all the pitfalls of online dating and failing at any goal.

Be relentless.
Keep trying.
Believe in yourself.
Don’t settle for second best.
Don’t look for perfect – it doesn’t exist.
Be a really nice person and treat others nicely.
Don’t try and sleep with them too quickly – you’ll trick yourself into falling for them afterward.

 

So here’s what happened….

I got what I wanted. I found an intelligent, beautiful, elegant little gem. She’s funny, interesting, clever, successful and has good values.

It took some time and lot’s of dates but I got there. People look at me still like I got lucky although I don’t believe in luck. I gave it everything I could and it was an emotional rollercoaster. I showed the best of me and tried to be the best human being I could.

I practiced being kind, compassionate and humble. With forced intent and continued practice, I got my goal. You can do the same.

Before I go, I want to point out that I don’t tell this very personal story I’d rather not share to make myself look good, so don’t bother leaving comments to this effect. I tell you this very personal story to inspire you to greatness and learn from my foolish mistakes.

Don’t let this negative dating world beat you down. Fight back!

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. richard

    Mar 5, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    Great post! I am also addicted to success. lol

  2. Geraldine Kelly

    Aug 25, 2014 at 7:35 am

    “Serving Life”- which can be found on Netflix- is by far the most inspirational documentary I have ever seen. Synopsis: Inmates find a sense of redemption for their crimes by volunteering in the prison hospice, offering compassion to other prisoners as they die.

    I met one of the inmates (Charles Rodgers) in person- and I must say, my life has never been the same. Remarkable individual.

  3. Jenny

    Jan 25, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    I Am and Happy have changed my life, the way I think, the way I act, and Me altogether. I wish the whole world could see them and really understand what it truly means to be alive 🙂

  4. Manny Calejo

    Jun 13, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    I have seen Sena & Kumare. Here are my thoughts; Sena shows passion and courage to stand up for what right. It also shows that competition is good and bring out the best in us if we are willing to step up and compete. I thought Kumare was outstanding!!! I won’t say anything else.

  5. Shawn Shashidharan

    Jun 11, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    Just watched. When We Were Kings (1996). Loved it.

  6. Mikal

    May 3, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    “The Pursuit Of Happyness” is a very inspirational movie

  7. anonymous

    Apr 13, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Jiro Dreams of Sushi

  8. CJ Langley

    Apr 11, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    Thanks for the list…added a few to my “must see soon” list! At the end of the day when you are up to your neck practical thoughts, some inspiration to put those thoughts in action can be very motivating!

  9. John Southee

    Apr 11, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    I love watching documentaries. Most of them are way better than any reality TV. I have see a handful of the one’s listed on this list. Some recommendations for people who like Documentaries as much as me are: Crazy Sexy Cancer which is about a woman who is diagnosed with cancer and tries to figure out different way in which she can cure herself.

    Another is Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead which is about a man who gets sick and tired of being overweight and after he is diagnosed with an illness he decides enough is enough. He began a diet and losing weight to try to heal himself.

    It’s awesome to watch people do amazing things to inspire yourself to do amazing things.

  10. Pete Dyson

    Apr 11, 2013 at 9:50 am

    The Secret is a pretty good documentary, it inspired me to chase success.

    • bob

      May 16, 2013 at 3:33 am

      Then your an idiot, believing that hocus pocus bullshit. Wikipedia it and see the real motivation of the film maker

      • Quinton

        May 25, 2013 at 3:39 pm

        Bob we’re all here for inspiration and motivation. Negativity is not needed nor wanted on any posts. Great List Joel- some of these titles are available on Netflix! Make it an awesome day!

  11. Paul F Davis

    Apr 10, 2013 at 4:56 am

    Awesome! Thanks for sharing.

    Paul F Davis – life coach for success

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Life

How Never Giving Up Can Lead You From Pain and Suffering to Ease and Joy

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never give up

I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.

Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.

Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:

1. I took responsibility for my actions

I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.  

This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.

For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.

Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.

2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down

I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.

Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.

After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!

I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale

3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible

As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.

I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.

4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free

This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.  

I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.

There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.

5. I became a new version of me

In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.

Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.

This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher

6. I became open to new ideas and concepts

In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.

Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends.  After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.

Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.

What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

As Bad As Smoking? 3 Reasons to Occasionally Unplug From Technology

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take a break from technology

A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.

As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.

Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:

1. Face-To-Face Interaction

As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.

There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.

If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.

2. Creative Thinking

Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.

Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius

3. Health Concerns

The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?

In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.

“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’

“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”

Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.

Bonus: Stress Reduction

With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.

I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.

If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.

“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer

Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.

How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.

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Life

3 Ways to Have More Time by Living More Proactively

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We live in a reactive world. We feel compelled to check and respond to digital tools at a moment’s notice. A few minutes here and a few there checking email, responding to Slack messages, and replying to Facebook posts add up to a significant amount of time over the course of a day, week, and month. This precious time could be spent writing a book, training for a race, or being with your kids.

There’s a better way: live proactively. It means starting each day with purpose by taking control of what you do and when you do it. Embrace the proactive habits below and you’ll be amazed at what you accomplish.

1. Know Where Your Time Goes

It’s critical to start every day with a plan that details what you’re going to do and when. Take a few minutes each evening to create a schedule for the day ahead, hour-by-hour. Note your current commitments, like “meeting from 12pm to 1pm.” Then, give yourself large chunks of time to complete your priorities for the day.  

On Monday evening you plan your day for Tuesday, which could look something like this:

6am – 8am: Write draft of article

8am – 9am: Commute to work

9am – 11am: Write report

11am – 12pm: Attend meeting

You get the idea. Without a plan, it’s too easy to spend your days reacting to others: agreeing to take on a project or deciding to attend a last-minute meeting. This is a sure-fire way to unnecessarily drag out your days, leaving you with little time for anything else.

Planning your day takes a little upfront effort, but the results pay dividends in return. You’ll get a lot done in less time.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin

2. Determine When You’re Available to Communicate

You can’t be a hermit all day, every day. You’ll have to respond to people either personally or digitally at some point. That’s why you should determine in advance when you’re available to others to answer questions and discuss issues with friends and colleagues. Experiment and find a block of time that works for you, and include it in your daily schedule.

This proactive approach gives you a block of time to handle communication, instead of here and there throughout the day—a practice that can eat away at your day. Plus, using a block of time to handle correspondence sets the expectation for others: they can’t interrupt and pepper you all day long with questions.

3. Focus, Focus, Focus

Now that you’ve got a plan in place, it’s time to hone in on the details: do one task at a time. This way of working is at odds with the rest of the world, since it’s popular today to multitask. It’s common to see employees working on one monitor and responding to Slack messages on another. But there’s a problem with multitasking: it doesn’t work.

When we “multitask,” we’re not really doing multiple things at once. Rather, we’re doing “individual actions in rapid succession,” as pointed out by the Cleveland Clinic. We are in fact “mono-taskers.”

Eliminating digital distractions helps you to focus completely on the task at hand. Put your smartphone on silent and move it out of sight so you’re not tempted to check it while working. Close your email and Slack tabs. In other words, proactively eliminate digital and physical clutter, and you’ll find you get more quality work done when you focus and do things one at a time.

“What I’ve learned in these 11 years is you just got to stay focused and believe in yourself and trust your own ability and judgment.” – Mark Cuban

Above all, living proactively is a shift in mindset. Instead of saying “let’s see what blows up at the office today” and reacting to every whim, begin the day with purpose and be proactive with your time and attention—both are limited.

How do you make sure you use your time wisely? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

9 Tips to Increase Your Charisma and Charm

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Most of us can probably name a person or two who can walk into a room and instantly become the center of attention. Some people seem to have a sort of natural charisma making them successful in social situations.

On the other hand, plenty of people out there lack any sort of natural charisma. They can be the smartest person in the world, but put them in a party and ask them to make friends and they become clueless. While it is possible to go through life without any charisma, not being able to carry on a conversation and not being able to make friends easily can make your life significantly harder. Thankfully, there are ways to make yourself more charismatic and more charming.

Here are 9 proven tips that will help make you more charismatic:

1. Learn proper posture

One simple way to make yourself more charismatic to those around you is to have proper posture. You should sit up straight and make yourself as tall as possible. Do not lean on your elbows or do anything like that. Sit up straight with your hands either at your sides or in front of you.

Believe it or not, having correct posture actually makes you feel more confident, which then makes you feel more willing to engage in conversation. When you are more willing to engage in conversation, you will appear more charismatic and more charming to those around you.

2. Do not underestimate the power of physical contact

Part of being charismatic is knowing when physical contact is needed. Uncharismatic people tend to shun physical contact and often do not know when to do it appropriately.

So, if you want to be more charismatic, then you should master when physical contact is appropriate and when it is not. For example, if a friend is crying or very upset, a hand on the shoulder or a hug (depending on how close of a friend they are) is appropriate.

Sometimes physical contact is even more appropriate than mere words.

3. Learn to recognize nonverbal cues

Very often people will not state how they are feeling. People will tell you they are feeling fine, even when deep down they are not. However, just because they do not say how they feel does not mean they do not give any clues.

You can often tell how a person is feeling about something based on facial expressions or body language. This should tell you what sort of mood they are in and how you should interact with them. We often associate charisma with things like telling good stories or making people laugh, yet a big part of charisma is simply knowing what sorts of things to say (or not to say) to people. Part of the way you figure out what to say to people is by reading their body language.

“I speak two languages, Body and English.” – Mae West

4. Know when to use humor

A big part of being charismatic is knowing how to use humor. Know when to make jokes and what sort of jokes to make. Too often, people constantly throw out jokes on the false assumption that it makes them likable. However, the timing of a joke is just as important as its contents. Making jokes at the wrong time makes you come off as uncharismatic. So, read the mood of others around you before throwing out a joke.

5. Learn to ask questions

We usually do not consider asking questions to be “charismatic,” but asking questions, and specifically the right kind of questions, is a great way to keep a conversation going.

People love to talk about themselves and they love to talk about what they are interested in. Charismatic people know this, which is why a charismatic person will spend as little time talking about themselves as possible.

Plus, by asking questions, you can find common areas of interest, which will allow you to expand your conversation topics.

6. Know how to listen effectively

This point goes hand-in-hand with the last one. Not only should you learn how to ask questions, but you should also learn to how to listen.

We all know that cliché about how women like men who are good listeners, well it is true and it applies to everyone, not just women. Sometimes, people simply want to talk to someone who will actually listen to their problems.

Knowing how to be a good listener will make people like you more since good listeners are so rare.

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”- Ernest Hemingway

7. Memorize as many names as you can

This is a really small, but effective tip for coming across as more charismatic. Remembering a person’s name is a great way of signaling to them that they are important, which makes them feel better. Again, this is a very small tip, but you will be surprised at how much more charismatic you come across if you consistently remember people’s names.

8. Learn to talk with your hands

Believe it or not, using hand gestures while talking does make you come across as more charismatic. Now, we don’t mean that you should be swinging your hands around, but some light hand gestures while telling a story can help make people more engrossed in what you are saying. So, next time you want to really get people interested in what you are saying, try putting down whatever is in your hands and add in some gestures.

9. Cut out filler from your vocabulary

We all occasionally throw in an “umm” or an “uuuh” when talking (especially if we are telling a long story), but you should try cut down on the number of times that you use filler words like the ones we just mentioned. A hallmark of charisma is being able to talk for a long time without using a lot of filler. The best way to go about this is to simply keep track of how often you use filler words and slowly work on improving your speaking skills.

Which one of these tips are you going to start to implement? Let us know by commenting below!

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