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The Best Advice I Have to Give: Be Intentional With the Tension

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It is the best business advice I have to give these days. It is the best advice I have to give, PERIOD! “What would it be like to cut yourself some slack?” This isn’t about “self-care” habits. This is about the long haul. It is about you coming out of the other end of a marathon type season of life, work, relationships, and everything else. 

In a moment, our world changed. Putting it mildly, every component of how we live our lives and go about our days shifted. Like a deep dive into the polar ice caps, our systems were shocked. There are constant fields of proverbial minefields and unknowns stretched out before us. 

Because of all the craziness, I’d like you to do something with me. First, take a moment, pause, and put everything down. Lay down on a bed, the floor, a sofa, or on your back. Pause again. Allow yourself to get situated, settled into this moment. Take a long breath in through your nose, and push it out of your being through your mouth with the sound of “HA.” In the Yoga Therapy world we call that “falling out breath.” Repeat it a few more times.

“The nature of yoga is to shine the light of awareness into the darkest corners of the body.” – Jason Crandell

Have you felt tense lately? I’m going to ask you to bring more tension intentionally into your body. So here is what we are going to do. I’m going to tell you exactly what to do, then go get to it! 

Laying down, where you are, lift your arms above your head and lay them back down behind you. Stretch your legs out in front of you, Whole body is laying down. Notice the solid surface under your being. Take your time with this, and intentionally slow it down. At the same time you are going to do three things, make sure you also:

  1. Stretch your fingers out behind you by creating stretch in your arms. 
  2. Push through your feet as if you could touch the wall in front of you, which creates stretch in your legs.
  3. Inhale and hold your breath while holding your body in a full body stretch. Hold your breath along with your body’s position. 

There are two more things for you to do:

  1. Release the body and breath at the same time.  
  2. Repeat the whole thing 3-5 times.

There is so much tension in the air just as in life. For a moment, giving yourself this mindful space to intentionally bring tension into your body, control it, feel it, and then release it, releases it. 

If you can’t lie down, try this exercise with just your shoulders. You can do this sitting. What you are going to do is this, raise your shoulders up to your ears as you take a breath in. Hold the breath in as you hold your shoulders up by your ears. When you are ready, exhale with a push/force and release your shoulders. They are called shoulder shrugs. 

We all need things to do to release the tensions we are feeling, and these two exercises work amazingly. Don’t just take my word for it, here is some feedback from a client of mine, “On business trips I have encountered great stress with deadlines to deliver creative solutions (part of my work is analysis). Elle taught me a stretch I could do in any hotel room, lying full length on the bed. It worked – when the stress grew, I stretched – creativity regained space in my mind and the solution was delivered.” He is talking about the full body stretch.

“To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” – Deepak Chopra

Take the time. Be intentional. Stretch your body while intentionally bringing tension into your body, your shoulders, hold your breath, and release. 

Once you try these exercises, let us know what you think about them in the comments below!

Elle Miller is a trauma-informed C-IAYT yoga therapist and Body Advocate working to bring transformation into the workplace. Her specialty is finding spaces that shift anxiety and burnout, zoom fatigue, and disconnection.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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