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The Beginner’s Guide to Mastering Self-Discipline

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If you’d like to learn how to master self-discipline so you can have the patience for long-term success, sign up for the free 90-Day Master Class hosted by the founder of Addicted2Success.com, Joel Brown.


There is a lot of motivational content going around on the internet intended to enable people to get off their butts and do some work. We have YouTube videos, blogs, podcasts, and more! Ironically, the jolt of energy given by all of this content lasts for a day or so until the person finds themselves looking for another dose of inspiration.

The concept of motivation has always been presented as the recipe for success. The passion that makes you wake up in the morning and check off your to-do list. But let’s be real, we as humans are inconsistent beings. You cannot expect emotional beings like us to feel the same level of enthusiasm every single day. That being said, if you wait around for motivation to come to your rescue, you will be waiting for a long time. 

The single most important ingredient for success is self discipline. Now we all know what it is. Self-discipline is a regulatory action imposed on the self, by the self, and for the self. Here we are accountable to ourselves for our actions. Mastering self-discipline or self-control can be new for many people, which makes the art a little out of reach. 

We have been conditioned to be answerable to an external authority since our childhood, either to a teacher, parent, or behaving under certain external norms. However, when no one is watching us, we would like to get comfortable on our couch and live to our heart’s pleasures. 

One of the major challenges I faced after the completion of grad school was having the liberty to live life on my terms. I was free to do whatever I wanted with my life. I could take a break and sit at home, get a job, travel, have a change of career, or opt for any other way of living. There were no due dates, deadlines, or submissions. This freedom was both enthralling and frightening. I would be the sole claimer of what I make of myself.  

Now you see, it is easier to control other people but self-discipline is a whole other story. You either become too lenient with yourself or extremely self-critical. Either you fall in the traps of procrastination or perfection. Self-discipline is neither of those things. Self-discipline is an amalgamation of the firmness of an authority with the support and love for self.

“I could only achieve success in my life through self-discipline, and I applied it until my wish and my will became one.” – Nikola Tesla

Here is the beginner’s guide to mastering self-discipline and walking the path of success:

1. Follow the 4S Rule (Start Small, Start Slow)

I have seen so many people plunge their willpower to death by setting their initial goals over-ambitiously. Just like learning any other skill, the art of self-discipline requires slow, deliberate, and repeated actions. Setting unrealistic goals at the initial stage is a recipe for failure. And remember, smaller successes at the starting point is of utmost importance to set up the tone of self-discipline.

2. Create both long-term and short term goals

This leads us to the know-how of realistic goal setting. Keeping a long-term goal and subsequently dividing up smaller goals leading up to it does the trick. Just make sure your daily goals are realistic, easily measurable, and take you in the direction of achieving the final goal.

3. What distracts you?

I know what you must be thinking, but yes, your Netflix subscription or that Xbox probably needs to go for a while or it might need to understand your avoidance towards it. 

Understanding your triggers and cutting down the time you spend on it, if not removing it completely, is crucial. These triggers can be anything, such as video games, media entertainment, social media, music, networking, or even as innocent as books.

4. Take out time to celebrate your success

It can be extremely easy to neglect or underestimate smaller victories simply because the bigger goal is yet to be reached. However, enjoying and celebrating the smaller accomplishments will not only strengthen your willpower but will work as an affirmation to your success. These achievements are there to remind you of your competence and fuel you to keep moving forward.

5. 5-minute rule to beat procrastination

There is a technique in cognitive behavioral therapy, wherein you perform a chore for 5-minutes and then if you do not feel like continuing it, you can put a stop to it. Now, it is usually observed that once you start working on a task, more often than not, you will continue doing it even after 5 minutes. The lesson here is to remember that the key to completing a task is simply starting it.

6. The obstacle is the path

This is one of my daily affirmations whenever I confront difficulties in my work. It is only acceptable that you start questioning everything when faced with a hurdle. A gentle shift in perception will make you see the obstacle is not something to fear, but it is a growth opportunity in disguise to increase your XPs.

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” – Robert Frost 

7. Be your own cheerleader

There is a learning curve to every skill and the graph of success is certainly a messy one with too many ups and downs. You don’t want to be an over-critical boss to yourself. Instead, become your greatest supporter. After all, self-discipline is self-service.

8. Imperfection is the key

What I want you to do is complete the task. Trapping yourself in the loop of perfectionism will lead to stagnation. Additionally, allow yourself to have break days where you rest and do activities apart from your work.

Self-discipline, once learned, ironically, is the greatest form of freedom you will experience. There is no better time than right now. Have faith in yourself, and just START. 

What’s one new thing you’ve started this year? Share it with us below!

Divyanshi Garg is pursuing her Ph.D. in Psychology on Mindfulness. She is also a published researcher, high school psychology teacher, and a freelance writer. Her articles majorly reflect her inclination towards spirituality and self-improvement combined with her observation of human behavior. She writes mostly about her experiences and lessons learned in the area of relationships, self-improvement, happiness, and psychology. She is looking to start her podcast soon. You can read more of her work on http://www.divyanshigarg.com/ and https://medium.com/@DivyanshiGarg

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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