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The 5 Questions to Ask Yourself to Uncover Your Purpose

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For many years in my life, I fell into the trap of thinking that if I search externally, my purpose would come to me. It began during my junior year of college, when I saw most of my peers preparing themselves for interviews with consulting firms with the hopes of landing a summer internship, which would then convert into a full-time offer before senior year.

I thought that consulting was a good option based on its popularity on campus, in addition to how the consulting firms marketed themselves, “Consulting is like a continuation of your liberal arts degree. You’ll get a breadth of experiences across sectors and you’ll get a depth of knowledge by diving into each of your projects.”

At the beginning of my senior year, I landed a full-time offer as a consultant and I was over the moon! As a first-generation, low-income college graduate from an immigrant family, I was going to make more money than my parents and achieve upward mobility. However, it didn’t take long for the excitement to wear off when I discovered the monotony of my job. A year and a half later, I left my job and shortly afterwards, I took a sabbatical to work in Italy for a few months.

I had very high expectations for my sabbatical – I very much believed that working abroad, being surrounded by different people and living in a new environment would lead me to, one day, wake up and magically know my purpose. Spoiler alert: It didn’t! Although, I will say, the experience helped me realize what I enjoy, what I don’t enjoy and that my problems/existential questions will follow me, wherever I go, even if I’m halfway across the world.

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” – Viktor Frankl

With these experiences, I’ve learned that uncovering our purpose is more about turning inward – tuning into our inner guidance, something that is always available to us, if we’re able to quiet our minds and listen. I’ve also come to realize that our purpose encompasses much more than just our careers. Living our purpose means living intentionally – engaging in meaningful and worthwhile pursuits, both in and outside of work. When we can contribute to those around us in ways that feel true to us, we are then able to feel a deep sense of contentment and fulfillment that is hard to find elsewhere.

When you have a moment to access that quiet space within you, I invite you to reflect on the following questions to uncover your purpose:

1. WHO do you admire?

When you admire people, it’s usually because they embody certain qualities. Whatever qualities you see in the people you admire are qualities that already exist within you. Perhaps they just need to be given some attention and cultivated so that you feel like you are embodying those same qualities in your everyday life.

2. WHAT makes you happy?

Go and do the things that make you feel happy! (Even if it feels like you’re not being “productive.”) When we let our minds rest and feel happier, new ways of thinking are available to us. For example: I love being out in nature. One day, I went on a solo 2+ hour walk on a trail without listening to podcasts/music, which didn’t seem very “productive.” However, it was during this walk that all these ideas for my business popped up.

3. WHERE are you?

We are a product of our environments. When I was in a small town in India, it was so easy for me to relax and take each moment as it came because the people around me had a similar approach to life. However, if you asked me to embody this way of being in New York City, I’d have a much harder time because New Yorkers are always on the go. So, what this question is getting at is – are you surrounding yourself with people who support your dreams and aspirations? Are you in an environment that is conducive for you to reflect deeply and dream big.

4. WHEN were you happiest and WHEN were you most angry?

The first question will enable you to see the values that were being honored when you were happiest and the second question will enable you to see the values that were violated when you were most angry. Both questions will inform you of the values that you hold dear to your heart and when you’re aware of those values, you can use them as a guiding light any time you make a decision.

“Activity without purpose is the drain of your life.” – Tony Robbins

5. WHY do you do the things that you do?

Be honest with yourself. For example: Why did I choose to go into consulting? I went into consulting because I thought that it was the “right” path due to the fact that:

  • most of my peers were going down that path
  • I was convinced that consulting would give me the “breadth and depth” of experiences
  • I felt like I needed to earn a certain amount of money

However, had I been more honest with myself, I would’ve realized that what I cared more about than fitting in, having a variety of experiences and making good money was helping people. I did eventually come to that realization so when I was looking for another job, the main question became, “What are the job opportunities that will allow me to help people?” 

“The answers you seek are inside of you.” May you give them the time and space to come forth. 

Angela is an International Life Purpose and Career Coach. She helps driven professionals who feel stuck and unfulfilled to discover their purpose so that they can have both the impact and income that they want. Sign up for her FREE guide, 6 Steps to Living Your Purpose here and learn more about her coaching program at www.angelachoi.co.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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