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Stop Wasting Your Emotional Energy Committing These 3 Common Pitfalls

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I’ve racked my brain for years on how to cause life to happen, as opposed to just letting it unfold. My successes have varied all the way from run-of-the-mill fulfillment to complete emotional turmoil. However, in recent past, I’ve come across a few critical distinctions to salvaging precious energy while making life work—most notably with the people in.

If you look at the human condition, we weren’t trained to care for others. With the primary function of the brain set in survival mode, it’s not natural for us to be around others. Yet, it’s essentially impossible to live a fulfilling life on one’s own.

As I’ve gone through the trials and tribulations of friendships, relationships and business partnerships, there are several scenarios that pop up consistently. Human nature is to handle it a certain way yet it often results in a severe loss of power or freedom in the interaction or relationship.

Here are three common communication pitfalls that by avoiding, can save you copious amounts of energy to direct towards more important things in life:

1. Taking Requests Personally

If you think about it, life is an ongoing series of conversational requests. Making friends, getting a job, and getting married are all instances where a question is involved prior to the life event happening or not.

What’s important to look at, is how we make these requests and how we handle the outcome. It’s very natural to focus on the desired outcome when making the request however, it clearly deters the conviction behind the request. By remaining on the field and dialed in on what you’re committed to, there’s no attachment to the result—putting the other party at ease and free to choose yes or no.

Moreover, should they say no to your request, you are able to take it for what it is. They’re saying no to the request, not to you. There’s no need to identify or associate with it because what you’re committed to supersedes all. It’s just yes or no — that’s it. If the answer fulfills on your commitment, great. If not, you go back to work. End of story.

“Even a dead fish can go with the flow.” – Jim Hightower

2. Taking Feedback Personally

One of life’s certainties is you’re going to receive unwanted feedback. How you handle this forgone truth however, makes all the difference. Because we pride ourselves on our beliefs, many people automatically associate feedback as an attack.

We think that someone giving us feedback is code for “you’re not good enough,” “you don’t belong,” or “you’re going to end up alone.” This type of neuro-association obviously doesn’t lead to very healthy responses, typically ending in communication breakdowns.

A great way to overcome this default response is to flip the lense. Instead of viewing feedback as a personal attack, we see it as coaching. Very successful people view everyone in their life as a coach—someone invested in the improvement of a particular person.

By viewing everyone who provides feedback—no matter how much we don’t appreciate its delivery—we view others as people taking on leadership roles in our lives. When someone volunteers to lead something, they’re taking responsibility for those they are leading. Great leaders don’t create followers—they create more leaders.

3. Listening To Our Internal Judgment

It’s crazy to think just how often we take ourselves out of the game of life by simply staying in our head and listening to the ongoing judgment being recited. That inner dialogue is no genius. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

The only way we can create change in life is through action. Action doesn’t happen by thinking or feeling. They may be a prerequisite to a certain degree, but you can’t think your way into a promotion or a new relationship. You have to stay in the game.

By acknowledging our judgment as unhelpful dodging of responsibility instead of a roadmap to situational success, we can remain present and distinguish the best ways to move the conversation forward. The default of the mind is not forward momentum. We must cause positive results.

“Either you run the day or the day runs you.” – Jim Rohn

Bringing It All Together

Life wouldn’t be life without the challenging moments, however, we often make things harder than they have to be. We allow our view of things to dictate how we treat others in varying situations.

By understanding the alternative views we can try on during times we typically break down, we can preserve energy better spent elsewhere—on making a difference for other people. The energy you save from not taking requests or feedback personally and quieting your internal judgment will light you up as much as the alternative typically brings you down.

The extra energy you walk around with will be impossible to ignore, and everyone will want to know where they can get it for themselves. Leave the door wide open for you to be a leader for your community and facilitate a better future of human interaction with the people that matter most to you.

How do you maintain your emotional energy at a steady level? Let us know your tips in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Dan Whalen is a franchise operator with College Hunks Hauling Junk & Moving, personal development writer, and NLP master practitioner. He has a background in business management and team leadership spanning nearly a decade, and has a deeply-rooted passion for helping people experience fulfilling lives. You can find him on Twitter at @DanielJWhalen.

Life

These 7 Daily Resolutions Can Change Your Life

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We all strive to be better every day. Most of us want a new day to bring something new, and we plan for it as well. Of course, the execution is debatable as procrastination is real and it becomes an overwhelming feeling at times. Also, not to forget the customary practice of making resolutions on new year’s eve!  All of us are fascinated by the thought of preparing long lists of resolves to mark the beginning of a new year. Not sure how many people are able to translate these resolutions into functional realities. (more…)

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4 Reasons Why Content Is Pivotal For Mental Health Healing

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One of the most important things for an entrepreneur’s mental health is expressing their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is where content creation and writing becomes pivotal. Whether you read something that resonates with you or you write a compelling blog post, the act of expressing yourself through content can help to put a smile on your face and make you feel better about things.

Most entrepreneurs don’t spend as much time taking care of their mental health as they should. Over the course of your career, you will experience a lot of ups and downs; these emotions have the potential to take a toll on your mind and body if you don’t learn to manage them properly.

Here are four reasons why expression through content is pivotal for healing, slowing yourself down, and giving yourself grace when the going gets tough.

1. Content can be a form of self-expression

When you are an entrepreneur, you frequently face feelings of insecurity, doubt, fear, apathy, and exhaustion, just to name a few. Some days it feels like no one is on your business’s side and everyone else has it all figured out. On those days some of us try to look at our website’s analytics to cheer up. 

But an even more freeing task is creating content. You create content to improve your business and reach more people’s lives. But, there is something special that happens when you write with the intention of expressing your thoughts and feelings — you open a door to yourself. 

Content is inherently personal, which means content creators open themselves up when they share their thoughts on a platform. Everything from the title of the post, the keywords they choose to include, and even the content itself helps you to understand who the author of that post truly is. And as an entrepreneur, this can be an important experience because it allows others to empathize with you.

2. Self-reflection will lift you up

As you think through what to write about and how to express yourself, the process of self reflection is a valuable step you need to go through. You’re able to reflect on the blessings you have, assess what you learned from the negative experiences, and create a plan on how to maintain the positive experiences you’ve had. 

There are a few ways that self reflection can help you with mental health healing. The act of reflecting on your experiences helps to create clarity in feelings, thoughts and emotions which will eventually lead into acceptance for what has happened or is happening currently without feeling overwhelmed by it all. This process also leads people towards finding new things they enjoy doing. Self reflection is therapeutic and can be implemented anytime you feel the need to overcome overwhelm.

“Writing in a journal each day allows you to direct your focus to what you accomplished, what you’re grateful for and what you’re committed to doing better tomorrow. Thus, you more deeply enjoy your journey each day.” – Hal Elrod

3. A sense of belonging and camaraderie

It is important to have a support network of people who will listen and understand what you are going through. When you post a blog or upload a video on YouTube, there are others who feel the same way and experience a sense of connection with you.

When you put time, attention and thoughtfulness into your writing, it is amazing when someone reads what you’ve written and comments on it thanking you or expressing how they resonate with what you’re going through. It’s hard to put into words how powerful it feels when someone who has gone through the same experience and reads your words then reaches out.  There is power in expression but miracles happen when people bond over a similar experience.

4. Library of content to share with more people

It can be very difficult to know what content to share with people as the symptoms of mental health disorders (anxiety, depression, etc.) vary from person to person. But as you accumulate more and more content, this will increase the number of articles or videos available for readers to choose from depending on their specific purpose. It also builds your personal library of resources you’re able to share to different people you encounter or engage directly with.

As chaotic and distracting social media can be, it can also be a beacon of hope with the right content. Many people share viral posts, or content that interest them. Since your content is valuable and personal, the more you share it, the more likely it is to be shared with the right audience.

You never know who is watching (reading)

Your content is speaking to someone and even though they may not be actively engaged, their experiences with your work are impacting them. Think about the last time you watched TV: did everyone in the room have something entertaining to say? 

You never know who’s watching because there’s always somebody reading your posts or viewing your videos-even if they just skim through it briefly. This is why creating content worth consuming is critical, not only to get you out of your funk, but also to serve your audience.  Be authentic and stay true to yourself; make every post count as an opportunity for connection with your best self and for potential readers to bond with you.

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Life

5 Ways To Invest In Yourself and Change Your Life

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Warren Buffett once said, the best investment you can ever make is in yourself. Time and money spent on bettering yourself are never considered a waste. Whether it’s through learning how to make money online, exploring new ways to increase your financial security, or watching TED talks to expand your knowledge. Do not be stingy when it comes to self-improvement because it will definitely pay off in the end. 

Need some ideas to get started on your journey to becoming a better you? Here are 5 ways to invest in yourself and transform your life. 

1. Change Your Self-Concept

Having a negative self-concept can have a tremendous impact on your life. Limiting beliefs and self-doubt are some of the main reasons why many never achieve or attempt to pursue their dreams. Take a moment and think about all the negative thoughts you have repeated to yourself throughout your life. How have these thoughts impacted the way you live life? From now on, create a new self-image by turning these negative thoughts into positive ones and appreciate your good qualities. 

2. Sign Up For An Online Course

If you’ve been wanting to brush up on your Photoshop skills or learn how to code professionally, this is the perfect time to get started. As long as you have a stable internet connection, you can access an endless amount of valuable information online. For example, sites like Coursera and Youtube are both awesome resources for online learning. With a few search strings and clicks, you can find all the information you need. 

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you can make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” – Robin Sharma

3. Learn From a Mentor

No matter which stage of your life you are currently in, working with a mentor can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. Not only can they guide you in the right direction, but also transform your vision, provide you with new insights, and connect you with amazing resources. If you’re feeling unmotivated or unsure about what you want to do in life, consider finding a mentor to help you navigate this process. 

4. Start A Side Hustle

The salary from a 9-5 job would rarely allow you to reach your maximum income potential. Why not achieve financial success while pursuing your passion by starting a side hustle? Whether it’s through starting an ecommerce business, freelance writing on the side, or starting a Youtube channel. There are infinite numbers of ways to make money, and there is bound to be one out there that fits your passion and skills. 

5. Nourish Your Body

As many may say, “health is the new wealth”. Without a healthy and functioning body, living a fulfilling and comfortable life becomes difficult. To take care of your body and prioritize your wellbeing, start with small habits such as eating healthier foods and exercising regularly. Bike or walk to work instead of taking the car, and opt for a healthy protein bowl instead of greasy burgers at Burger King. With time, these small habits can make an incredible difference.

Check out the infographic below, to see more ways you can invest in yourself:

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Life

How to Turn Inward and Detox Your Mind

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When we are overwhelmed by confusion, our psyche tries to establish certainty to alleviate our discomfort. This is usually accomplished by mentally imagining and acting out a plot. Unfortunately, much of the time, we mentally visualize pessimistic (or worst-case scenario) scenarios to provide certainty. (more…)

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