Connect with us


Stop Wasting Your Emotional Energy Committing These 3 Common Pitfalls



emotional energy
Image Credit:

I’ve racked my brain for years on how to cause life to happen, as opposed to just letting it unfold. My successes have varied all the way from run-of-the-mill fulfillment to complete emotional turmoil. However, in recent past, I’ve come across a few critical distinctions to salvaging precious energy while making life work—most notably with the people in.

If you look at the human condition, we weren’t trained to care for others. With the primary function of the brain set in survival mode, it’s not natural for us to be around others. Yet, it’s essentially impossible to live a fulfilling life on one’s own.

As I’ve gone through the trials and tribulations of friendships, relationships and business partnerships, there are several scenarios that pop up consistently. Human nature is to handle it a certain way yet it often results in a severe loss of power or freedom in the interaction or relationship.

Here are three common communication pitfalls that by avoiding, can save you copious amounts of energy to direct towards more important things in life:

1. Taking Requests Personally

If you think about it, life is an ongoing series of conversational requests. Making friends, getting a job, and getting married are all instances where a question is involved prior to the life event happening or not.

What’s important to look at, is how we make these requests and how we handle the outcome. It’s very natural to focus on the desired outcome when making the request however, it clearly deters the conviction behind the request. By remaining on the field and dialed in on what you’re committed to, there’s no attachment to the result—putting the other party at ease and free to choose yes or no.

Moreover, should they say no to your request, you are able to take it for what it is. They’re saying no to the request, not to you. There’s no need to identify or associate with it because what you’re committed to supersedes all. It’s just yes or no — that’s it. If the answer fulfills on your commitment, great. If not, you go back to work. End of story.

“Even a dead fish can go with the flow.” – Jim Hightower

2. Taking Feedback Personally

One of life’s certainties is you’re going to receive unwanted feedback. How you handle this forgone truth however, makes all the difference. Because we pride ourselves on our beliefs, many people automatically associate feedback as an attack.

We think that someone giving us feedback is code for “you’re not good enough,” “you don’t belong,” or “you’re going to end up alone.” This type of neuro-association obviously doesn’t lead to very healthy responses, typically ending in communication breakdowns.

A great way to overcome this default response is to flip the lense. Instead of viewing feedback as a personal attack, we see it as coaching. Very successful people view everyone in their life as a coach—someone invested in the improvement of a particular person.

By viewing everyone who provides feedback—no matter how much we don’t appreciate its delivery—we view others as people taking on leadership roles in our lives. When someone volunteers to lead something, they’re taking responsibility for those they are leading. Great leaders don’t create followers—they create more leaders.

3. Listening To Our Internal Judgment

It’s crazy to think just how often we take ourselves out of the game of life by simply staying in our head and listening to the ongoing judgment being recited. That inner dialogue is no genius. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

The only way we can create change in life is through action. Action doesn’t happen by thinking or feeling. They may be a prerequisite to a certain degree, but you can’t think your way into a promotion or a new relationship. You have to stay in the game.

By acknowledging our judgment as unhelpful dodging of responsibility instead of a roadmap to situational success, we can remain present and distinguish the best ways to move the conversation forward. The default of the mind is not forward momentum. We must cause positive results.

“Either you run the day or the day runs you.” – Jim Rohn

Bringing It All Together

Life wouldn’t be life without the challenging moments, however, we often make things harder than they have to be. We allow our view of things to dictate how we treat others in varying situations.

By understanding the alternative views we can try on during times we typically break down, we can preserve energy better spent elsewhere—on making a difference for other people. The energy you save from not taking requests or feedback personally and quieting your internal judgment will light you up as much as the alternative typically brings you down.

The extra energy you walk around with will be impossible to ignore, and everyone will want to know where they can get it for themselves. Leave the door wide open for you to be a leader for your community and facilitate a better future of human interaction with the people that matter most to you.

How do you maintain your emotional energy at a steady level? Let us know your tips in the comments below!

Image courtesy of

Dan Whalen is a franchise operator with College Hunks Hauling Junk & Moving, personal development writer, and NLP master practitioner. He has a background in business management and team leadership spanning nearly a decade, and has a deeply-rooted passion for helping people experience fulfilling lives. You can find him on Twitter at @DanielJWhalen.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


The Best Techniques to Boosting Your Memory in a Busy World

The human brain is highly complex. You must know how to make use of it to improve your memory.



best memory boosting techniques

People often confuse weak memory and poor recollection.  They complain of weak memory.  It is not a weak memory but a poor collection of information.  How sad it is when you cannot recall the name of a person you met in the past. (more…)

Continue Reading


The Power of Elevating Others: Steps to Change Your Life for the Better

Making others feel important can change the world



lifting others

People often look for elevating themselves rather than elevating others by focusing on their strengths and merits.  It is unfortunate to note. People have become so busy that they don’t find time to care for others. (more…)

Continue Reading


The Happiness Model That’ll Change Any Entrepreneurs Life

People often think that they will be happy at a later stage if they work hard today.  However, there is no guarantee of happiness at a later stage.



ben shahar happiness model

Due to the rapid growth in technology, people are often in the rat race to compete with others little realizing that they are losing so much or so little. People often search for stones by leaving gems at home. (more…)

Continue Reading


Fake It and You’ll Make It: 10 Tips to Build Self-Confidence

When you lack self-confidence, you can fall into traps that can hold you back



how to build self confidence

Self-confidence is an essential inner quality in any career, but in many areas (for example, in tech where I work) just because you are a woman, your abilities might be questioned before you even start your job. (more…)

Continue Reading