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Self Love – 5 Simple Ways to Love Yourself More

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self love

Growing up, I was always told to love my family and friends and how important this was because of how short life was. I did this for years but always felt empty when it came to loving myself. I was so concerned and focused on everyone else, that I had no clue who I was as a person. If you are reading this, I am sure that many of you can relate.

Throughout your childhood, when did someone ever stop you and say “How much do you love yourself?” Probably never. This is an uncommon question to ask because of our conditioned ways of focusing outwards instead of inwards. I have realized that when I started to make the shift in my own life, everything around me changed.

I suddenly started to attract the right friendships, relationships, and opportunities that would help elevate me as the woman that I wanted to become in the world. It was an amazing transformation. For the first time in my life, I started to love myself. I want to see more people around the world who love themselves unconditionally and fully appreciate who they are as human beings.

You deserve the love that you have been giving everyone else. Below, are five steps on how to start loving yourself today:

1. Take care of your thoughts

There are so many thoughts that filter through our mind each day that It is extremely difficult to regulate each one of them. However, it is easy to become aware of when we are thinking in a negative way and immediately switch it so that we are only thinking nourishing thoughts.

How do we do this? Whenever you catch yourself doubting yourself, having fear, or thinking more of a problem than a solution, stop yourself and take a couple of breaths. Remind yourself how amazing you are and begin to visualize the person you want to become.

Ask yourself: How would I act if I no longer let my thoughts sabotage me? Visualize this for a moment. Once you do, record who you see yourself being and how you feel in this state of being.

2. Tell your dreams and goals to people that are on the same journey

A lot of us immediately share our dreams and goals with family members whenever we are working on something exciting. It makes sense to do so since they have witnessed most of our accomplishments throughout life.

They have been there all along and will always be our biggest supporters, right? This is not entirely the case as there comes a day when the support will become limited when you take a different path than the rest of your family.

I have learned that when you are excited about a huge vision, many will start to doubt your abilities, and may even try to convince you that what you may be doing will never work. Be very careful when hearing any limiting beliefs that someone else may be carrying around. Without even realizing, their limiting beliefs may enter our subconscious mind which will then result in questioning our own abilities.

“Expect while reaching for the stars, people to whirl by with their dark clouds and storm upon you.” – Anthony Liccione

3. Always listen to your Intuition

Have you ever made a decision that completely went against your intuition? I know I have and it was no fun. Plus, when this happens, we spend countless time replaying a situation in our mind that no longer serves us. Our intuition is always speaking to us, whether we are making a business decision, making a new friend, or deciding to move somewhere new, our intuition is guiding us in the right direction.

If for some reason, something doesn’t feel right, and you are feeling knots in your stomach, this is your intuition trying to communicate with you. Pay close attention to what it is saying, and never second guess it! It is there to help you out! The best part about our intuition is that we all have one and have access to it at any moment.

4. Set healthy boundaries

It is important to set healthy boundaries within your relationships and daily interactions, but how? We do this by setting a standard of respect and supporting through our actions the things which make us happy. If you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, it is perfectly fine to leave.

It is also okay to let go of toxic relationships with friends, family, and others that are not bringing any value into your life. For me personally, this was extremely difficult. I used to think that because I was related to someone, that I was automatically obligated to let them be a part of my life. Some of these relationships consistently drained my energy, and I always felt so tired.

I still tolerated these individuals and maintained these unhealthy relationships because I felt that I had to. Anytime you feel that you “have to” do something instead of “want to” do something, you will find yourself very unhappy. Life is too short to be unhappy. You deserve all of the happiness that this world has to offer.

“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal and necessary.” – Doreen Virtue

5. Self-Reflect on who you are becoming

Each night before bed, reflect on your day and keep a journal on how you made decisions, carried yourself, and interacted with others. Become aware of your notes and work on anything that needs improvement and celebrate any accomplishments.  Imagine yourself six months from now. Who are you? How do you behave, carry yourself, and interact with others?  Who do you want to be in the next six months?  Write this down and have fun!

How do you practice self love? Please comment below and let us know!

Christina Araujo is from San Francisco, CA and still is residing in the Bay Area. She is a life coach, investor, and influencer. Her passion is helping people love themselves and finding their passion in life. Christina is committed to personal growth and has a strong desire to help as many individuals as she can and start traveling to third world countries to also teach. She believes that life is meant to be lived being truly happy and falling in love with your gift every single day. You can contact Christina through her Facebook page.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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