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Reprogramming Yourself: 7 Ways to Deal With Uncertainty and Helplessness



reprogramming yourself

At times, everybody experiences some kind of despair. There are times when it feels as if the whole weight of the world is on your shoulders and there is no way out. Everything feel like it is falling apart and nothing can be done. The uncertainty may keep you anxious all night long and turn into some kind of nightmare because people get obsessed with their helplessness. As the result, everything becomes a mess, and we get deprived of many pleasant things that we could have enjoyed.

Nevertheless, this is a psychological factor. You should train yourself and tell yourself each day that you can cope with whatever comes. In order to regain self-confidence and self-control, you should use some methods that will help to deal with different problems.

Here are 7 ways to deal with uncertainty and helplessness:

1. Be careful with your expectations

When building some plans, you create definite expectations and this is risky. First of all, you should realize that you may foresee definite things that will happen, but you cannot predict the precise outcomes. Secondly, you need a positive attitude. Many people prepare for the worst without a hope for better. The thoughts are materialistic and many of them come true. Focus on positive emotions and be realistic.

2. Be ready for various possibilities

It is of great importance to feel under control of any situation, yet this is not possible in all situations. This is life, and we cannot predict the outcome. One of the major things you ought to learn in order to become confident is to get ready for whatever may come your way. Try to predict all variants. Some of them are successful, while others may include many problems. Think of strategies to overcome them so you will never be helpless if something goes wrong.

3. Control your feelings

Our feelings determine who we are. They give us a sense of happiness. However, they may likewise bring something unpleasant that may have a great hold on us. Oftentimes, people get lost in the flow of their feelings and emotions. This is normal, yet you should not turn it into a habit. You should become a feeling observer in order to interact with your feelings and try to have them under control. They may interrupt your clear thinking and we will not be able to act logically.

“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” – Joel Osteen

4. Build self-confidence

You should be sure you have outstanding coping and adapting skills. This key point is not about the expectations for the worst things to come, it’s about the way you are going to deal with them. You should develop your own system and acquire adaptive skills, which would be effective in different stress situations.

Try to find the most suitable ones. Concentrate on your strongest sides and seek the adequate skills. You should advance them and rise to the level of perfection so you can handle the worst complications.

5. Learn stress reduction techniques

There are many effective and dependable techniques helping one deal with uncertainty and helplessness. A lot of stress has an utterly negative effect for every human being because it makes us think in the wrong directions awaiting only the bad things. Only when you control your stress will you manage to succeed.

Therefore, look for some techniques that will relieve you from unnecessary stress. Train them each day and quite soon, you will be dealing with any form of stress within a blink of an eye automatically.

6. Concentrate on the things you can handle

At times, a global way of thinking may be overwhelming so concentrate on the smaller things that can be controlled. Think of the things you are good at and stick to them. Each time you see multiple complications, remember the things you can control and start thinking positively. You will surely find a resolution to a problem by maintaining a positive way of thinking.

7. Practice mindfulness

Many people are obsessed with the thought of a catastrophe. The next day has not yet come, but they already perceive the hazard. In many cases, this is just a simple prejudice. You should stop thinking about the things that haven’t happened yet and concentrate on the current situation. Notice the beauty of the moment, relax, think of the pleasant things, and remember the happy events that have occurred in your life.

“Whatever good things we build end up building us.” – Jim Rohn

Your tomorrow is uncertain and one may not predict all the things that could happen. Nevertheless, the usefulness of the mentioned above methods is huge. They will help you to get ready for whatever comes and cope with all problems. Use their potential to serve your purposes. Life will appear much brighter if you are self-confident and understand how to control feelings of helplessness. Remember that you are the smith of your own happiness. Everything is in your hands, and you should use it reasonably and effectively to enjoy life and achieve all of your life goals.

How do you handle moments of uncertainty? Please comment below and let us know!

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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