Life
Remember This: Your Boss Isn’t God

“People ask the difference between a leader and a boss…. The leader works in the open, and the boss in covert. The leader leads and the boss drives.” famously said by Theodore Roosevelt.
The caption of this article probably puts you in a fix whether you have to massage your boss’s ego. Before we conclude, there are various aspects to know such as the difference between a boss and a leader, and the four models of organizational behavior (OB).
Organizational Behavior Models
There are four models of organizational behavior namely autocratic, custodial, supportive, and collegial. The autocratic model prevailed initially where employees were under the mercy of employers. In this model, the employees worked as a labor and obeyed whatever the bosses ordered. Subsequently surfaced another model named custodial where the employees cannot be fired as they are provided with job security and other financial and non-financial benefits.
It is further followed by another model named supportive where employees are supported by employers and bosses above them. It is fairly better than the previous models of autocratic and custodial. Currently, we have a collegial model where there is not much gap between the superiors and subordinates as all are treated with requests equally. Generation Y appreciates this collegial model, and it is mostly followed by American management and top global companies in the world. In this model, there will not be any bosses but only leaders. However, we still find bosses in the guise of leaders.
Bosses versus Leaders
There is a difference between bosses and leaders as bosses are mostly arrogant and egotistical and they often come with a workaholic attitude. Russell H. Ewing differentiates between bosses and leaders as follows: “A boss creates fear, leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, and a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting.”
The people who work with bosses find it tough to get along with them as the expectations of the bosses are high and they are mostly task-oriented. In contrast, the leaders are a blend of both task-orientation and people-orientation with a heart to make a difference in the lives of their employees. The leaders adopt a transformational leadership style, treat their subordinates like colleagues, and get the tasks executed successfully.
The leaders support the subordinates in their training and development and quicken their career advancement. They empathize and listen to their subordinates and lead their teams successfully.
If you happen to work under a boss you have to be more careful in your work. As long as you do your work sincerely you don’t have to bother your boss, and you don’t have to massage his or her ego. All that you must do is be assertive in your approach, actions, and communication.
Tips to Handle Your Boss
- Handle your boss with tact but not at the cost of your integrity and principles. Be in his or her good books to get the tasks executed smoothly. At the same time, learn to draw the line between praise and flattery.
- Be strong in your domain so that you will have respect in the workplace and the boss will not have any scope to point you out.
- Avoid arguing with your boss because there is a popular cliché – ‘boss is always right’. Therefore, keep your views within yourself. When the organizational issues are involved express your views assertively.
- Be professional and avoid interfering in his or her personal life to maintain longevity in relations.
- Don’t surprise your boss. Keep your boss informed whenever you do important tasks. The boss should not feel that s/he was bypassed or neglected.
- Emphasize ideas rather than individuals in organizational aspects to avoid getting into egoistic issues.
- Keep your boss in good humor to avoid organizational politics and ensure a peaceful workplace ambiance.
It is often said in the corporate world that people don’t leave organizations but they leave bad bosses. It is mostly correct as organizations are often good but the people who lead are often found to be problematic for the employees. Therefore, instead of blaming the bad bosses, it is better to understand your boss well and mold yourself accordingly to build chemistry and compatibility to get things going smoothly.
You cannot choose your bosses and just because of bad bosses you cannot shift organizations frequently. Hence, the best thing is to understand the ground realities and personality types; and build chemistry to enable a peaceful workplace ambiance and outcome.

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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