Connect with us

Life

Remember This: Your Boss Isn’t God

Published

on

Image Credit: bluedog studio, Shutterstock

“People ask the difference between a leader and a boss…. The leader works in the open, and the boss in covert. The leader leads and the boss drives.”  famously said by Theodore Roosevelt.

The caption of this article probably puts you in a fix whether you have to massage your boss’s ego. Before we conclude, there are various aspects to know such as the difference between a boss and a leader, and the four models of organizational behavior (OB).  

Organizational Behavior Models

There are four models of organizational behavior namely autocratic, custodial, supportive, and collegial.  The autocratic model prevailed initially where employees were under the mercy of employers.  In this model, the employees worked as a labor and obeyed whatever the bosses ordered.  Subsequently surfaced another model named custodial where the employees cannot be fired as they are provided with job security and other financial and non-financial benefits.  

It is further followed by another model named supportive where employees are supported by employers and bosses above them.  It is fairly better than the previous models of autocratic and custodial. Currently, we have a collegial model where there is not much gap between the superiors and subordinates as all are treated with requests equally. Generation Y appreciates this collegial model, and it is mostly followed by American management and top global companies in the world.  In this model, there will not be any bosses but only leaders. However, we still find bosses in the guise of leaders. 

Bosses versus Leaders

There is a difference between bosses and leaders as bosses are mostly arrogant and egotistical and they often come with a workaholic attitude. Russell H. Ewing differentiates between bosses and leaders as follows: “A boss creates fear, leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, and a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting.” 

The people who work with bosses find it tough to get along with them as the expectations of the bosses are high and they are mostly task-oriented. In contrast, the leaders are a blend of both task-orientation and people-orientation with a heart to make a difference in the lives of their employees. The leaders adopt a transformational leadership style, treat their subordinates like colleagues, and get the tasks executed successfully.  

The leaders support the subordinates in their training and development and quicken their career advancement.  They empathize and listen to their subordinates and lead their teams successfully. 

If you happen to work under a boss you have to be more careful in your work. As long as you do your work sincerely you don’t have to bother your boss, and you don’t have to massage his or her ego. All that you must do is be assertive in your approach, actions, and communication.  

Tips to Handle Your Boss

  • Handle your boss with tact but not at the cost of your integrity and principles. Be in his or her good books to get the tasks executed smoothly. At the same time, learn to draw the line between praise and flattery. 
  • Be strong in your domain so that you will have respect in the workplace and the boss will not have any scope to point you out.  
  • Avoid arguing with your boss because there is a popular cliché – ‘boss is always right’. Therefore, keep your views within yourself. When the organizational issues are involved express your views assertively. 
  • Be professional and avoid interfering in his or her personal life to maintain longevity in relations. 
  • Don’t surprise your boss.  Keep your boss informed whenever you do important tasks. The boss should not feel that s/he was bypassed or neglected. 
  • Emphasize ideas rather than individuals in organizational aspects to avoid getting into egoistic issues. 
  • Keep your boss in good humor to avoid organizational politics and ensure a peaceful workplace ambiance. 

It is often said in the corporate world that people don’t leave organizations but they leave bad bosses. It is mostly correct as organizations are often good but the people who lead are often found to be problematic for the employees. Therefore, instead of blaming the bad bosses, it is better to understand your boss well and mold yourself accordingly to build chemistry and compatibility to get things going smoothly. 

You cannot choose your bosses and just because of bad bosses you cannot shift organizations frequently. Hence, the best thing is to understand the ground realities and personality types; and build chemistry to enable a peaceful workplace ambiance and outcome. 

Be the BOSS with these quotes

Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D. is the Father of “Soft Leadership” and the Founder of MSR Leadership Consultants, India. He is an International Leadership Guru with forty years of experience and the author of fifty books including the award-winning ‘See the Light in You’ URL: https://www.amazon.com/See-Light-You-Spiritual-Mindfulness/dp/1949003132. He is a C-Suite advisor and global keynote speaker. He brings a strategic eye and long-range vision given his multifaceted professional experience including military, teaching, training, research, consultancy, and philosophy. He is passionate about serving and making a difference in the lives of others. He is a regular contributor to Entrepreneur Magazine. He trains a new generation of leaders through leadership education and publications.

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

on

Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
Continue Reading

Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending