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How to Permanently Heal the Parts of You That Are Secretly Hurting

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heal yourself

Dale Carnegie said “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion” and he was absolutely right. What I would add to that statement, which is even more poignant is that you, being a person, are an emotional creature.

How often do you prioritize dealing with your emotions? Soft subjects such as lingering emotional wounds are often overlooked especially in business. But do you know those emotional hurts that seem totally unrelated to your professional life could very well be messing with your success?

For some, of us it’s been ten, twenty, thirty years… but that emotional wound that devastated and traumatized us still has a stronghold in our present reality. It is time to dissolve that energy draining monster. I can assure you, the squabbles in your relationships, the lack of passion, intimacy, even low finances have a lot more to do with that wounded heart you carry around than you might think.

“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.” – Napoleon Hill

I know, I know what you’re thinking…your stressful work situation and the unpredictable changes of the marketplace are actually the reason behind your continued financial woes. What if I told you it’s not entirely accurate? Even in the worst of conditions there are always those who continue to grow and thrive. Why can’t you be among them?

The best prosperity hack

Most of us don’t realize just how integral love is in our daily lives. In this human journey which you – a spiritual being-  made the decision to embark on, love is the fundamental ingredient that holds everything together.

Love for the human Soul is in fact what gravity is for the formed universe. When love goes into crisis mode, the repercussions of not fixing that error manifest themselves in different ways for different people.  For the most part, based on my experience, I can see it creates a never-ending loop of dystopia.

Many of us have been so accustomed to living a life driven by fear, pain, anger, and resentment that even after we learn about spiritual truths and universal laws we still prefer to procrastinate. We delay working on the one thing that is most integral to our well-being because we are fearful of entering into that part of our mind.

Your mind is a beautiful garden. It is, in fact, your garden of Eden, if only you can “man up” and restore the parts that have been poisoned almost to the point of death by those who influenced you during your formative years as well as those you co-created with in negative ways.

Yes, I fully acknowledge that you have been hurt in the past. The real you got drained by those pesky energy sucker. Resentment, guilt, shame, and pain flood your veins whenever some of those memories come to mind. But dear reader, those same memories of what once attempted to destroy you but didn’t are only that – active memories that you keep alive in your mind.

The dark, scary part of your mind where you procrastinate going for the fear that a monster too big to handle lives is actually the part of your garden that is now streaming poisonous substance to the rest of your affairs. And no one deserves to be free of those old wounds more than you. No one deserves to prosper in our modern digital economy more than you.

With all the information, opportunities and resources our digital age offers, your future will be nothing short of a miracle. But you must learn to be brave enough to heal the parts of you that remain wounded.

The only way to heal is through the practice of self-love

Looking for yet another remedy, another prescription, another tactic or another guru only gets you to the gate. But you need to walk in alone and do the work alone because the real game of life is played from the inside out.

With the knowledge, power and practice of true self love, you will come to the full realization that behind that disease, behind that financial debt, behind that feeling of loneliness or whatever else your fear-based monster has manifested as in the physical world – is a hardened negative emotion and belief that only needed love to dissolve as ice does under the warmth of the shining sun.

“Self-love is the source of all of our other loves.” – Pierre Corneille

A man in my prosperity workshop recently said, “this all sounds nice Janette but I don’t see how this will solve my current business issues.” And I said, well – with that attitude, of course, it won’t! We need to learn that not all things in life need to be complex to be right. Sometimes, it is the simplest answer that is the right answer.

Oftentimes, our biggest obstacles only feel insurmountable because we are already emotionally and energetically drained by past wounds that are silently running actively in the background. So we have no way of securing our next victory because not only do we harbor pains we can’t explain but we also feel overwhelmed and stressed by everything.

I say it’s time to take a different approach. Try something new. So far you’ve been doing what everyone else says. You’ve hidden your emotions well, you’ve suppressed your fears, locked up a part of your mind with memories that are obviously heavy for you and it chokes you with all kinds of negative feelings whenever they come up.

Instead of bottling them up, why not turn around and consciously allow yourself to face this monster head on. Can you be bold enough to allow yourself to be gutted by those things that hold you captive? If you do, don’t be surprised when you realize that you are indestructible. Then as you begin practicing self-love as suggested, you will discover the missing piece that was needed in order for you to prosper.

What are some things you do to heal yourself from all of the hurt, pain or anger? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Janette Getui is a mumpreneur and prosperity guide devoted to showing others how to produce more freedom and opulence in life. She is the co-founder of Bold Beautiful Blissful U and hosts transformational prosperity retreats and masterminds. Known to many as a powerful modern day mystic who has been able to prove through her own journey from the heart of poverty in an African slum to the abundant beach lifestyle that she gets to enjoy in Europe, that overcoming poverty consciousness, limiting beliefs and low self-worth is the fastest way to produce new beginnings and unfold a rich, blissful destiny. Her PH.D in overcoming harsh conditions and mind mastery make connecting with her worthwhile especially if spiritual and financial freedom matters to you. Get her free gift e-book that will enable you to unlock your version of heaven on earth.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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