Connect with us

Life

6 Epic Lessons You Can Learn From Serious Adversity

Published

on

Adversity Through A Glass Ball Sunrise

At different stages of our life, we are all going to face some sort of serious adversity whether we like it or not. The adversity will come when you least expect it so knowing how to deal with it is key. To be able to deal with adversity you need some strong references and an understanding of the advantages – this is what I will give you in this article.

I have gone through many adversities in my life and each time one happens, I use previous experiences to be able to deal with them. The strange thing for me now is that I actually love adversity. It’s a sign from the universe that things are about to go really well for me.

When your life gets tough what are you going to do about it? Are you going to spend all your time sulking and focusing on what’s wrong or are you going to build a bridge and get over it? It’s this decision that will determine your success.

I can promise you that if you learn how to deal with adversity then not only can you help yourself, you can serve others in a way you have never done so before. You can become that shining light that everyone want’s to be around. You can achieve levels of human endurance that have never been achieved before.

You can change the world with a new idea or a new technology. Don’t be afraid of adversity, welcome it, understand it and know that everything in your life is temporary. Work on yourself, work on your mind and start to develop a new set of beliefs that are going to empower you when you are faced with adversity.

So let’s get into it. Here are six epic lessons you can learn from serious adversity.

 

1. You’re about to rise up from nothing

Up until this point, you may have been just barely getting through life and not really knowing what your purpose is. When adversity hits (and I mean serious adversity) everything changes in a single moment. Suddenly you stop forgetting about how your hair looks or what you are having for lunch.

Suddenly you are forced into survival mode and the mental patterns that you have learned over the years are disrupted. Adversity is the best thing that has ever happened in your life. It means that you are going to rise up because you will be forced to become stronger.

No longer will you just drift through life because adversity will make you rethink everything you have done to date. It will make you ask yourself what your purpose really is. It will make you ask yourself whether you are really happy.

If the answer to both of these questions is not what you hoped for, that’s okay because you now have an opportunity to change it. You now have some space in your life as you deal with adversity to come up with another strategy for how you want to live going forward.

Know this, if you allow adversity to empower you, and you take the positives from it, you will rise up amongst everyone else like you never have before. You will walk, talk and act in an empowering way. You will achieve your purpose and your goals, and it will be all thanks to your new friend adversity!

 

2. Until now things were too safe

One of the reasons I believe adversity comes into our lives is because it’s a sign that things were too safe. Without some sort of difficult situation, the fact is that you’re not going to change, and you are going to keep doing what is comfortable.

The world wants more from you yet you have been ignoring the signs, so hopefully adversity is your new wake up call.

“Being comfortable will never allow you to live your wildest dreams, and you will just waste this one chance at human life that you have been given”

Stop kidding yourself about what you have done before; it’s not the most that you can possibly achieve! Let adversity allow you another chance to do what you do and go up another level.

 

3. You deserve better

Depending on the type of adversity you face, often we can realise that we deserve better than what we were accomplishing before. Sometimes it is really hard to know if there is something better out there for you because all have known up until now is what you have already got.

The brilliance of adversity is that it makes you think to yourself that you deserve better and that you don’t want your life to reflect the tragedy or pain that the adversity has given you. Sobbing for an extended period of time is not going to get you what you want. You deserve better so stand up tall, visualise what you want and go get it!

 

4. What the adversity means will shape you

If you break adversity down into what it really does at the most basic level, it allows you to change the meaning of the difficult situation, and of your life, at the same time. This is a double-edged sword because you can either get major benefits or serious downsides.

The outcome will come down to one very important thing, what the adversity means to you and how you interpret it. By looking at it from a positive lens, it can shape you for the better. It can be the catalyst for you deciding to do something new or starting a new business.

The challenge is that seeing the good from adversity can be quite hard to do. Just remember that if you see adversity as a bad thing then you will only have pain to deal with. You don’t want pain do you? Great, so then you only have one choice and the decision has already been made for you.

This adversity is the best thing that has ever happened to you, and you are going to do amazing things with the new opportunities it presents – trust me.

 

5. You can’t change it, but you can learn from it

There is another important lesson to learn from adversity; you can’t change it. No matter how hard you try the adversity has happened and it can’t be erased. Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to come from nowhere and throw a grenade at it for you.

So given that there is no way to stop the adversity from happening, the only thing you can do is learn from it. In very difficult situations, the lessons you can learn are far greater than the lessons you will learn from normal everyday situations.

While you still need everyday lessons too, the lessons you get from adversity are far greater and have the potential to massively change the way you are, and your future results. By looking at any great startup success story, almost always, there was some type of adversity that sparked the decision to start a business. Maybe adversity is the push you need to get into action.

 

6. It’s time to re-focus and do what matters to you

Adversity is a forced way for you to refocus. You have no choice but to change what you are currently doing. Often distractions will stop you from staying focused on what you love doing. When you face a serious adversity, you often take a break from work to deal with it.

It’s during this crucial break time that you get a chance to breathe and think about the adversity or person involved in the adversity. Your brain will spend time recalibrating itself, and the neural pathways will change in some way if you let them.

During this downtime, you need to spend time thinking about what matters to you. Chances are the adversity is going to help you do this anyway but just make sure you’re conscious of it. If during this time you discover that what matters to you the most has been neglected, then that’s a great lesson, because you now have the chance to rectify that going forward.

Each day, if you are not doing what matters to you the most, then you will be very unhappy, and that’s no way to live this one life you have been given.

“Don’t think about the time you have lost, but instead, think about the time you have now gained thanks to this opportunity to refocus”

You were put on this planet for a reason, and adversity is only going to help you live your purpose and take charge of your life once and for all. Assuming you got this lesson from adversity, no longer will you wake up late and be uninspired or settle for second best ever again – you’re too important to the world!

 

***Final Thought***

I hope this article has helped you see some of the lessons adversity can give you. From now on I hope that you will look forward to adversity and know that there is a change coming. It’s a big one, and only the bold like you can face it, and overcome it.

Don’t ever let others tell you that this adversity means your life is going to be worse than before – they are wrong, and you’re smarter than that. During this difficult time, go back to the basics of self-development and you will have all the tools you need. Tools like visualising, looking at your beliefs, setting your goals, consuming empowering content and just taking a break, will serve you well.

My buddy Joel Brown has been dealing with some adversity recently and showing immense resilience, so show him some love on his Facebook or Twitter pages by leaving him a comment.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

Advertisement
6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Toño

    Dec 24, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Introduction to this atricle is just excellent, I remember reading it some time ago and today I decided to get back to it once again.

    For some strange reason I can say I actually enjoy adversity myself, and it feels rather sacry sometimes, because of the strength it can provide if you can, so to speak, traslate it right. This summer I burned my legs to the point I wasn’t able to walk for a week. The pain was out of this world really, the most terrible physical feeling I ever had, but it did change my mind and I saw different perspective of life and things I took for granted.

    Despite all the pain, there was a moment when all my fears, doubts and even my ‘little’ depression have gove and I felt happiness inside. It was an unusual way to clear my mind but it actually helped. I realized I do not want to die (at that point I thought I quite might) and neither I will enjoy an opportunity to lose my both legs. I realized I want to enjoy the life, my family and experience all the things I haven’t yet. And when I couldn’t go for a walk with my sister and dogs I realized how cool it is to just be able go outside and breathe that fresh air!

    Thus so called ‘terrible’ experience often come to our life to remind we have a life to live & enjoy, and time is the most valuable currency we have.

    Right now I’m going through different, huge emotional pain that happens at my job, and I feel like I cannot escape it and just have to surrender. Not sure if I can get through, but what I am certain if I can, I will greatly benefit from it. Just need to find a fuel to go forward and make the best out of it.

    Thank you so much, Tim, for this peace of help, I appreciate your time and your desire to share your experience with us. Today I felt like I did a wrong decision, but thanks to you now I can turn it into the right one, as you said, to shape me for the better, instead of punishing myself learn from it.

    My apology for quite long response, stay well and have a great day!

    • Tim Denning

      Dec 30, 2015 at 1:30 am

      Toño glad you like the article. I have also burned myself before too and the pain is unbearable. Don’t apologize for the long response it means that you are trying to share something valuable. I am sure your job will get better so don’t despair. Who knows, maybe it will inspire you to start your own business and add value to others instead?

  2. Julio Zurita

    Dec 5, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    Tim I would like to thank you for this amazing article it really inspire me a great deal thank you so much

    • Tim Denning

      Dec 6, 2015 at 1:48 am

      No problem Julio I am glad it gave you some inspiration!

  3. Evan

    Dec 5, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    Tim!

    This was the most relevant and timely article for me right now, and the best one I’ve read from you man!

    Thank you for the awesome advice. You’re right about the reactions, adversity is like the past; the only way we can change it is by changing how we feel about it.

    Lately I’ve been going through some of the hardest struggles I’ve faced so far as an entrepreneur. I’ve made sure to refocus my priorities onto all the things I’m thankful for and remind myself daily what I’m working for and who I’m becoming.

    No struggle no strength!

    • Tim Denning

      Dec 6, 2015 at 1:48 am

      Glad you got something from it Evan and all the best with your entrepreneurial endevours!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

You Can Create Whatever Life You Want So Stop Talking Yourself Out of Your Destiny

Published

on

destiny
Image Credit: Unsplash

There’s never been a time like right now in human history for entrepreneurship. We have access to virtually limitless knowledge thanks to the advent of the internet, and you can reach anyone on this planet literally at the click of a button.

However, despite the massive amount of opportunity out there, there are still time-tested principles that every wanna-be entrepreneur needs to know in order to truly succeed. Knowing these principles can spell the difference between achieving your dreams and talking yourself out of your destiny.

There is Such a Thing as Preparing Too Much

While it’s certainly necessary to prepare in life, a just as devastating problem many people face in life is being too prepared. Way too often, people believe they’re actually working by spending hours “preparing” when all they’re doing is thinking about working while their actual work goes untouched.

As Gary Vaynerchuk put it bluntly in one of his livestream Q&A videos, “There are just so many ways to build your business, but lack of action is not one of them.” Basically, we are both blessed and cursed by our access to virtually limitless knowledge. We can turn on the faucet of knowledge and grab a quick swig when we need it, but if we leave it on for too long we’ll be drowning in information and be stuck trying to process everything.

If you spend too much time processing, you’ll be more likely to talk yourself out of taking the risks necessary to build a successful business. The solution is simple: stop processing and start taking action.

A phrase I find myself repeating a lot when I get into a bind is, “How did successful people do it before the age of internet?” The answer is they did it by not talking themselves off of the ledge of destiny and instead diving into their project headfirst.

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” – Simone de Beauvoir

Our Feelings Often Lie to Us

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like throwing in the towel when trying to build my web design business. I remember one day in particular I had a massive headache and was on the verge of quitting everything due to the frustration I felt while dealing with a problematic client.

I looked at my watch and realized I hadn’t eaten yet that morning, so I went and made myself breakfast. After eating a bowl of scrambled eggs and toast, my headache magically vanished along with my thoughts of wanting to quit. I quickly realized what needed to be done and fixed the client’s issue without much thought. The problem wasn’t with the client, the problem was with my stomach.

Can you imagine how ridiculous I would have looked had I fired my client all because I hadn’t eaten that day? This is why our feelings sometimes need to take a backseat when it comes to making wise, calculated decisions for our success.

Intuition is important, obviously, but it’s best utilized with years of reliable experience to back it up. So go with your gut when it’s wise to do so, but always make sure your gut is fed otherwise you may regret what it has to say.

Perfectionism Can Halt All Progress

You will never have everything figured out. Let that sink in. It’s become such a trope in our society that it’s surprising how easily we tend to forget it. There isn’t a single business out there that has all the answers on how to do things right, so why do we feel the need to stop moving forward if things aren’t perfect?

I remember a friend of mine spent years trying to compose music on his synthesizer but never released anything because it “wasn’t good enough” by his standards. I gave him the simple proposition to “put out crappy music”, since no matter what he would always think his music was crappy due to his perfectionist mindset. Within a day, he finally put something out on SoundCloud and his song “#Selfie” became a hit worldwide while his band The ChainSmokers continues to put out hits to this day.

OK, I’m kidding about that last part, but hopefully you get my point. My friend finally had a song out that he could have had out years ago but was too caught up on making everything “perfect” to do anything. He had, in effect, talked himself out of taking action. The same thing applies with business, even if you don’t have everything figured out it’s best to just start something and learn as you go.

“Imperfection is perfection.” – Flume

Whenever that annoying, perfectionist voice in your head tries to get you to quit because you’ll never have the “perfect” product or service to sell, tell it to shut up and put out your product or service anyway. As you gain experience in your field and receive valuable feedback from customers, you’ll be able to continually improve things with your business.

Had you not taken action to begin with, you would never have attained either of these two valuable assets. Never settle for mediocrity, but at the same time recognize your need to be in motion even if the thing that sets you in motion is initially subpar.

How do you push yourself and keep motivated? Let us know your thoughts below!

Continue Reading

Life

3 Mental Tricks to Help You Become a More Productive Person

Published

on

how to become more productive
Image Credit: Unsplash

Whether you’re a career salesman, a student, or a software engineer, you can’t move an inch in your career if you produce less. Productivity is the key that will unlock your success. Unfortunately, not all of us are productive. And some of it is not our problem. Our Internet-empowered world is bloated with too many social media tools, too many emails and notifications, too many SMS and short messages, too many YouTube videos and Netflix movies. The distractions are at an all time high.

But what if there is a system that will help you keep all these distractions aside until you have accomplished your tasks? There is. And it only takes 3 simple steps. Read Below:

Step 1: See your everyday tasks as a gift

Showing up every day to work is anything but fun. You know your life depends on it, but some days are not your best days. No matter how you plan your projects, you can’t show up to do them. You’re tired and bored and uninterested. What’s the way forward? It’s not about planning. It’s not about waking up early. It’s not about lack of exercise or anything like that.

If you want to conquer your to-do list, day in and day out, you need a simple shift in your mindset. Stop thinking of your tasks as work. See those tasks as gifts…as natural endowments exclusively given to you. This simple shift in your mindset will awaken the sleeping giant within you. You’ll start feeling great about yourself, stop seeing your work as burdensome. The tasks will now make you feel proud.

No longer will your showing up early at your desk irritate you—because now you feel comfortable doing the work that matters. The mindset adjustment is not even difficult. Just figure out the value that your tasks will bring to your marketplace.

“Focus on being productive instead of busy.” – Tim Ferriss

Step 2: Be conscious of the impeccable values of your tasks

That’s how to shift your thinking. You dissect the unique values that are embedded in your tasks (when you accomplish them, of course). If you’re a web designer, for example, think about the joy and life-changing events that your design job will bring to your client. That landing page that you’ll design, it would mean the world to your client.

It will even change their business and their lives along the way. But that will not happen if you don’t show up every day, roll up your sleeves and work on that landing page. Now if you can visualize that value, it will serve you well. You’ll be motivated. So, how do you become more conscious of the values of your work? Write them down. And read them every day to spark your productivity.

Step 3: Remind yourself of the limited time you have in life

We like to postpone today’s tasks for tomorrow. Often, we’ll schedule a time to work, but when the time is due, we come up with another excuse, “I’ve got to call that client instead; I’ll leave that work till tomorrow.” But we don’t own tomorrow. We don’t have control over it. We don’t even know what it holds. And we have a very limited time.

If you want to improve your productivity, you have got to remind yourself about the scarcity of your time. Here are a few questions to ask yourself (I recommend that you do these exercises every time before you begin to work):

  • If you only have 24 hours left today, how do you want to spend it?
  • If you have 5 projects to complete today, how do you manage your time?
  • Would you rather watch a movie on Netflix or accomplish today’s task and move closer to your vision?

“Do something instead of killing time because time is killing you.” – Paulo Coelho

It’s about making smart choices. I know It’s hard. It’s tough. It requires an impeccable amount of discipline. But with constant practice, these mental tricks will help you become a more productive person, move you closer to realizing your vision.

Continue Reading

Life

7 Simple Tips to Help You Eliminate Negative Thoughts

Published

on

negative thoughts
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Have you been feeling low lately? Are you missing being the person you once used to be? In this fast-paced life of ours, it is not surprising to feel depressed. 15 out of 100 adults in the USA fall prey to depression every year.

As we get more and more detached from reality and bury ourselves into the virtual world of our smartphones, anxiety and stress seep into our brain and make us lose sight of the happy versions of ourselves. It is optimism alone that keeps us going by giving us the will to fight the battle within us. The power to usher in positivity and shoo off the negative thoughts rests with you.

Here’s what you can do to remove the dark cloud of pessimism that hovers over you:

1. Train your mind to think positive

Affirmations can help boost your self-esteem. If you continue to affirm your brain, it will learn to believe in you and will work positively. Positive affirmations are scientifically proven and can make miracles happen. Tell yourself that you are getting better and your subconscious will adapt to it and function accordingly.

Train your brain to give a neutral spin to all your negative thoughts. Since, building a positive mindset isn’t an easy task to do, the neutral thoughts will help you keep the negativity at bay and aid you in paving your path towards positivity.

2. Cultivate self-love

If you have been waiting for a pair of arms to reach out and rescue you, you might just have to wait longer. Instead, be your own messiah. In order to do so, you have to perfect the art of self-love. Nurture your narcissism a bit and learn to appreciate yourself more often.

Learn to turn down offers politely and indulge in some quality Me-time. Bake your favorite cake or shop for the dress that you had been eyeing for quite some time now. Go get a spa treatment and appreciate the daily efforts that you make.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” – Brené Brown

3. Keep yourself busy

The key to ward off negativity is to keep your brain busy, so that it does not get the time to breed ill thoughts. Considering how the descent towards the abysmal pit of depression starts at our workstation, I would suggest that you find engagements outside your workplace that helps your mind to relax.

You can try reading lighthearted literature. A personal favorite, the Chicken Soup for the Soul, can actually nurture your brain with the much-needed optimism to fight away the negative blues. Listen to happy, soulful music or take a stroll in the fresh air.

4. Surround yourself with positivity

People around us have the power to affect us – in both positive and negative ways. Their actions affect us, and we take their words to heart. Quite often, negative thoughts cloud our minds because of a seed that was sown by someone we hold close to our hearts. The people we walk and talk with are capable of influencing our emotions. So, you must choose your company wisely.

Surround yourself with people who care for you and love you. Love is the only magic potion for us muggles, and with the right kind of love and support, we can eliminate the negative thoughts that wreak havoc in our brains. Also, learn to block unwanted people from your lives.

5. Be a social butterfly

In this age of social media, we have more virtual friends than actual friends. So, come out of the virtual world and spend some time with your family and friends. Your family members fall among the ones who love you just as you are. At the end of the day, they are the ones who matter.

Moreover, when you go out of your way to help someone, you feel more positive. Rescuing someone from the same pit of darkness as you are in can help you ward off your own demons. So, don’t shy away from community work.

“Society is like a large piece of frozen water; and skating well is the great art of social life.” – Letitia Elizabeth Landon

6. Lead a healthy life

Exercise and meditation can be of immense help when it comes to overcoming stress and negative thoughts. When you exercise, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin which play an important role in regulating your mood. Mediation helps you to increase your brain power and aligns your thought processes towards optimism.

Other than exercising, you must get enough sleep. Proper sleep helps our bodies to recover from the daily toil and provides it with the time to repair. Also, try to eat healthy food. Avoid gluten, caffeine, and sugar as they make you bitter and depressed. Keep your body healthy, which in turn will tell your brain to be more positive.

7. Make your ambiance teem with positivity

Other than exercising and eating healthy, you can take little steps like drawing yourself a bath or sleeping with a heavier comforter on to make yourself feel more calm and composed. When you feel rejuvenated physically, your mind will automatically feel relaxed.

Get your upholstery in happier shades of light pastels and make sure that your room is adequately lit up. However small these changes might be, they will welcome positivity into your life.

In the end, I would like to emphasize the importance of reducing stress. Train your brain to focus on the brighter side of things, so that depression and negativity cannot take a toll on your mental health. Trust me when I say that you are stronger than you think!

Which one of these 7 tips to eliminate negative thoughts do you need to work on most? Let us know how you’re going to work on it below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

4 Steps to Accepting and Acting on Negative Feedback

Published

on

negative feedback
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

All feedback is good, but not all feedback is positive. We’re often subject to negative feedback at work for different scenarios such as missing a performance target set by the organization or developing a high-end product idea that flopped after testing.

Regardless of the reason, accepting negative feedback can be difficult—especially if there is pressure across the board to perform in the face of perpetual downsizing, outsourcing, or consolidation.

It can be even harder if you’re just starting out. It’s easy to take the feedback as a personal affront. But nothing could be farther from the truth. Performance feedback isn’t meant to insult or demean, it’s an attempt to rehabilitate.

Think about it, why would your supervisor take the time to talk it out if they’d already given up on you? Because motivating a team also means holding team members accountable for what’s not working. Receiving feedback is a chance to improve and better support those around us.

So next time you’re called into the boss’ office for feedback, consider these four steps below:

1. Detach – Remember that it’s not personal

The first step is to detach, emotionally that is. Before the conversation starts, remind yourself that this feedback is based on job performance and factors that include objective data. It has nothing to do with how nice you are, how fun you are around the office, or how you live your life away from work.

Your supervisor is trying to do their job as well as you’ve been trying to do yours. They feel that talking to you now is vital for your own well-being as a team member and for the team as a whole. If there’s something you’re doing that needs to be better, they have a responsibility to everyone on the team to tell you—and early enough so you can address it and make the end result better for everyone.

“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.” – Elon Musk

2. Information – Focus on the data

Your supervisor’s description of your performance should be specific and actionable, so listen first and take careful notes as you pick up on themes. The earlier you try to respond, the more likely you will appear defensive and only out to present your ‘side’.

If you focus on listening and taking down what observations they have, you are more likely to capture what needs improvement. If you’re focused on improving those things, you’ll ultimately grow and be successful in supporting the organization and remaining an asset to those around you.

3. Vision – Create an image of what improvement looks like

The conversation is over. You’ve left the office and are back in your workspace. Review your notes and think about what your supervisor said. It’s time to work on the counter-image—what does improvement look like? This is an exercise in setting and realizing a vision.

Imagine what it looks like for the opposite of the feedback to be true. Don’t think about the steps to get there yet. Focus on ‘winning’ the situation, accounting for each observation your supervisor provided and experiencing success. Develop a narrative that you can see the same way you can watch a television series play out.

Got the image? Now plan your steps, in reverse from the vision you have to the moment you find yourself in now. You must have a vision of where you’ll end up before you can plan the steps to get there, otherwise you’ll set out on a path that leads nowhere—and therefore never ends.

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” – Albert Einstein

4. Empathize – Put yourself in the shoes of those around you

This is the most important step. Your supervisor felt it was the best thing for you and the team to tell you where you fell short and afford you a golden opportunity to do better. The truth is the conversation was likely as difficult for them as it was for you. Having to tell a teammate they’re not meeting standards can eat away at a manager, and is challenging because they must now consider what happens if you’re unable to improve.

You both have the organization’s best interest in mind. Feel what it’s like from their side, what it takes to manage the team and support everyone while meeting performance milestones set by senior leadership. Then think about the team around you.

What are they hoping to see from you? What can you do to help them focus elsewhere in the organization where there’s more work to be done? If you can push the envelope of improvement and get your team moving forward, it allows others to worry about the bigger problems ahead that will take everyone’s effort to solve.

Feedback is a tool for improvement, for yourself and those around you. If you’re receptive, you’ll engender trust and remain as an asset to the organization. That goes for managers, too.

Feedback is a two-way street, so if you’re that supervisor, remember to solicit feedback from your employees on a regular basis and rely on these same four steps to improve and look positively to the future.

How do you deal with handling negative feedback? Let us know your tips for others!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Trending

Entrepreneurs

5 Tips for Young People Starting a Business or Side-Hustle

Published

on

starting a business at a young age
Image Credit: Unsplash

The decision to start a business or any sort of “side-hustle” takes a lot of nerve, especially when you’re only in your 20s. Yet, the ability to power on and keep going – through all the ups and downs of business is a feat to be truly admired. (more…)

With the desire to go "digital nomad" and help businesses with their social media, Chelsea Tobin founded her boutique social media agency, Queen of Swords Media, in 2018. She attended Auckland University of Technology in New Zealand, where she graduated with a Bachelor of Business (Marketing major) and a Bachelor of Communication Studies (PR major). She enjoys speaking and writing about her journey so far in the world of business, self-development and mindfulness as a young millennial woman navigating her way through life, and of course social media. You can follow her on Instagram here.

Advertisement
6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Toño

    Dec 24, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Introduction to this atricle is just excellent, I remember reading it some time ago and today I decided to get back to it once again.

    For some strange reason I can say I actually enjoy adversity myself, and it feels rather sacry sometimes, because of the strength it can provide if you can, so to speak, traslate it right. This summer I burned my legs to the point I wasn’t able to walk for a week. The pain was out of this world really, the most terrible physical feeling I ever had, but it did change my mind and I saw different perspective of life and things I took for granted.

    Despite all the pain, there was a moment when all my fears, doubts and even my ‘little’ depression have gove and I felt happiness inside. It was an unusual way to clear my mind but it actually helped. I realized I do not want to die (at that point I thought I quite might) and neither I will enjoy an opportunity to lose my both legs. I realized I want to enjoy the life, my family and experience all the things I haven’t yet. And when I couldn’t go for a walk with my sister and dogs I realized how cool it is to just be able go outside and breathe that fresh air!

    Thus so called ‘terrible’ experience often come to our life to remind we have a life to live & enjoy, and time is the most valuable currency we have.

    Right now I’m going through different, huge emotional pain that happens at my job, and I feel like I cannot escape it and just have to surrender. Not sure if I can get through, but what I am certain if I can, I will greatly benefit from it. Just need to find a fuel to go forward and make the best out of it.

    Thank you so much, Tim, for this peace of help, I appreciate your time and your desire to share your experience with us. Today I felt like I did a wrong decision, but thanks to you now I can turn it into the right one, as you said, to shape me for the better, instead of punishing myself learn from it.

    My apology for quite long response, stay well and have a great day!

    • Tim Denning

      Dec 30, 2015 at 1:30 am

      Toño glad you like the article. I have also burned myself before too and the pain is unbearable. Don’t apologize for the long response it means that you are trying to share something valuable. I am sure your job will get better so don’t despair. Who knows, maybe it will inspire you to start your own business and add value to others instead?

  2. Julio Zurita

    Dec 5, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    Tim I would like to thank you for this amazing article it really inspire me a great deal thank you so much

    • Tim Denning

      Dec 6, 2015 at 1:48 am

      No problem Julio I am glad it gave you some inspiration!

  3. Evan

    Dec 5, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    Tim!

    This was the most relevant and timely article for me right now, and the best one I’ve read from you man!

    Thank you for the awesome advice. You’re right about the reactions, adversity is like the past; the only way we can change it is by changing how we feel about it.

    Lately I’ve been going through some of the hardest struggles I’ve faced so far as an entrepreneur. I’ve made sure to refocus my priorities onto all the things I’m thankful for and remind myself daily what I’m working for and who I’m becoming.

    No struggle no strength!

    • Tim Denning

      Dec 6, 2015 at 1:48 am

      Glad you got something from it Evan and all the best with your entrepreneurial endevours!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

You Can Create Whatever Life You Want So Stop Talking Yourself Out of Your Destiny

Published

on

destiny
Image Credit: Unsplash

There’s never been a time like right now in human history for entrepreneurship. We have access to virtually limitless knowledge thanks to the advent of the internet, and you can reach anyone on this planet literally at the click of a button.

However, despite the massive amount of opportunity out there, there are still time-tested principles that every wanna-be entrepreneur needs to know in order to truly succeed. Knowing these principles can spell the difference between achieving your dreams and talking yourself out of your destiny.

There is Such a Thing as Preparing Too Much

While it’s certainly necessary to prepare in life, a just as devastating problem many people face in life is being too prepared. Way too often, people believe they’re actually working by spending hours “preparing” when all they’re doing is thinking about working while their actual work goes untouched.

As Gary Vaynerchuk put it bluntly in one of his livestream Q&A videos, “There are just so many ways to build your business, but lack of action is not one of them.” Basically, we are both blessed and cursed by our access to virtually limitless knowledge. We can turn on the faucet of knowledge and grab a quick swig when we need it, but if we leave it on for too long we’ll be drowning in information and be stuck trying to process everything.

If you spend too much time processing, you’ll be more likely to talk yourself out of taking the risks necessary to build a successful business. The solution is simple: stop processing and start taking action.

A phrase I find myself repeating a lot when I get into a bind is, “How did successful people do it before the age of internet?” The answer is they did it by not talking themselves off of the ledge of destiny and instead diving into their project headfirst.

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” – Simone de Beauvoir

Our Feelings Often Lie to Us

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like throwing in the towel when trying to build my web design business. I remember one day in particular I had a massive headache and was on the verge of quitting everything due to the frustration I felt while dealing with a problematic client.

I looked at my watch and realized I hadn’t eaten yet that morning, so I went and made myself breakfast. After eating a bowl of scrambled eggs and toast, my headache magically vanished along with my thoughts of wanting to quit. I quickly realized what needed to be done and fixed the client’s issue without much thought. The problem wasn’t with the client, the problem was with my stomach.

Can you imagine how ridiculous I would have looked had I fired my client all because I hadn’t eaten that day? This is why our feelings sometimes need to take a backseat when it comes to making wise, calculated decisions for our success.

Intuition is important, obviously, but it’s best utilized with years of reliable experience to back it up. So go with your gut when it’s wise to do so, but always make sure your gut is fed otherwise you may regret what it has to say.

Perfectionism Can Halt All Progress

You will never have everything figured out. Let that sink in. It’s become such a trope in our society that it’s surprising how easily we tend to forget it. There isn’t a single business out there that has all the answers on how to do things right, so why do we feel the need to stop moving forward if things aren’t perfect?

I remember a friend of mine spent years trying to compose music on his synthesizer but never released anything because it “wasn’t good enough” by his standards. I gave him the simple proposition to “put out crappy music”, since no matter what he would always think his music was crappy due to his perfectionist mindset. Within a day, he finally put something out on SoundCloud and his song “#Selfie” became a hit worldwide while his band The ChainSmokers continues to put out hits to this day.

OK, I’m kidding about that last part, but hopefully you get my point. My friend finally had a song out that he could have had out years ago but was too caught up on making everything “perfect” to do anything. He had, in effect, talked himself out of taking action. The same thing applies with business, even if you don’t have everything figured out it’s best to just start something and learn as you go.

“Imperfection is perfection.” – Flume

Whenever that annoying, perfectionist voice in your head tries to get you to quit because you’ll never have the “perfect” product or service to sell, tell it to shut up and put out your product or service anyway. As you gain experience in your field and receive valuable feedback from customers, you’ll be able to continually improve things with your business.

Had you not taken action to begin with, you would never have attained either of these two valuable assets. Never settle for mediocrity, but at the same time recognize your need to be in motion even if the thing that sets you in motion is initially subpar.

How do you push yourself and keep motivated? Let us know your thoughts below!

Continue Reading

Life

3 Mental Tricks to Help You Become a More Productive Person

Published

on

how to become more productive
Image Credit: Unsplash

Whether you’re a career salesman, a student, or a software engineer, you can’t move an inch in your career if you produce less. Productivity is the key that will unlock your success. Unfortunately, not all of us are productive. And some of it is not our problem. Our Internet-empowered world is bloated with too many social media tools, too many emails and notifications, too many SMS and short messages, too many YouTube videos and Netflix movies. The distractions are at an all time high.

But what if there is a system that will help you keep all these distractions aside until you have accomplished your tasks? There is. And it only takes 3 simple steps. Read Below:

Step 1: See your everyday tasks as a gift

Showing up every day to work is anything but fun. You know your life depends on it, but some days are not your best days. No matter how you plan your projects, you can’t show up to do them. You’re tired and bored and uninterested. What’s the way forward? It’s not about planning. It’s not about waking up early. It’s not about lack of exercise or anything like that.

If you want to conquer your to-do list, day in and day out, you need a simple shift in your mindset. Stop thinking of your tasks as work. See those tasks as gifts…as natural endowments exclusively given to you. This simple shift in your mindset will awaken the sleeping giant within you. You’ll start feeling great about yourself, stop seeing your work as burdensome. The tasks will now make you feel proud.

No longer will your showing up early at your desk irritate you—because now you feel comfortable doing the work that matters. The mindset adjustment is not even difficult. Just figure out the value that your tasks will bring to your marketplace.

“Focus on being productive instead of busy.” – Tim Ferriss

Step 2: Be conscious of the impeccable values of your tasks

That’s how to shift your thinking. You dissect the unique values that are embedded in your tasks (when you accomplish them, of course). If you’re a web designer, for example, think about the joy and life-changing events that your design job will bring to your client. That landing page that you’ll design, it would mean the world to your client.

It will even change their business and their lives along the way. But that will not happen if you don’t show up every day, roll up your sleeves and work on that landing page. Now if you can visualize that value, it will serve you well. You’ll be motivated. So, how do you become more conscious of the values of your work? Write them down. And read them every day to spark your productivity.

Step 3: Remind yourself of the limited time you have in life

We like to postpone today’s tasks for tomorrow. Often, we’ll schedule a time to work, but when the time is due, we come up with another excuse, “I’ve got to call that client instead; I’ll leave that work till tomorrow.” But we don’t own tomorrow. We don’t have control over it. We don’t even know what it holds. And we have a very limited time.

If you want to improve your productivity, you have got to remind yourself about the scarcity of your time. Here are a few questions to ask yourself (I recommend that you do these exercises every time before you begin to work):

  • If you only have 24 hours left today, how do you want to spend it?
  • If you have 5 projects to complete today, how do you manage your time?
  • Would you rather watch a movie on Netflix or accomplish today’s task and move closer to your vision?

“Do something instead of killing time because time is killing you.” – Paulo Coelho

It’s about making smart choices. I know It’s hard. It’s tough. It requires an impeccable amount of discipline. But with constant practice, these mental tricks will help you become a more productive person, move you closer to realizing your vision.

Continue Reading

Life

7 Simple Tips to Help You Eliminate Negative Thoughts

Published

on

negative thoughts
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Have you been feeling low lately? Are you missing being the person you once used to be? In this fast-paced life of ours, it is not surprising to feel depressed. 15 out of 100 adults in the USA fall prey to depression every year.

As we get more and more detached from reality and bury ourselves into the virtual world of our smartphones, anxiety and stress seep into our brain and make us lose sight of the happy versions of ourselves. It is optimism alone that keeps us going by giving us the will to fight the battle within us. The power to usher in positivity and shoo off the negative thoughts rests with you.

Here’s what you can do to remove the dark cloud of pessimism that hovers over you:

1. Train your mind to think positive

Affirmations can help boost your self-esteem. If you continue to affirm your brain, it will learn to believe in you and will work positively. Positive affirmations are scientifically proven and can make miracles happen. Tell yourself that you are getting better and your subconscious will adapt to it and function accordingly.

Train your brain to give a neutral spin to all your negative thoughts. Since, building a positive mindset isn’t an easy task to do, the neutral thoughts will help you keep the negativity at bay and aid you in paving your path towards positivity.

2. Cultivate self-love

If you have been waiting for a pair of arms to reach out and rescue you, you might just have to wait longer. Instead, be your own messiah. In order to do so, you have to perfect the art of self-love. Nurture your narcissism a bit and learn to appreciate yourself more often.

Learn to turn down offers politely and indulge in some quality Me-time. Bake your favorite cake or shop for the dress that you had been eyeing for quite some time now. Go get a spa treatment and appreciate the daily efforts that you make.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” – Brené Brown

3. Keep yourself busy

The key to ward off negativity is to keep your brain busy, so that it does not get the time to breed ill thoughts. Considering how the descent towards the abysmal pit of depression starts at our workstation, I would suggest that you find engagements outside your workplace that helps your mind to relax.

You can try reading lighthearted literature. A personal favorite, the Chicken Soup for the Soul, can actually nurture your brain with the much-needed optimism to fight away the negative blues. Listen to happy, soulful music or take a stroll in the fresh air.

4. Surround yourself with positivity

People around us have the power to affect us – in both positive and negative ways. Their actions affect us, and we take their words to heart. Quite often, negative thoughts cloud our minds because of a seed that was sown by someone we hold close to our hearts. The people we walk and talk with are capable of influencing our emotions. So, you must choose your company wisely.

Surround yourself with people who care for you and love you. Love is the only magic potion for us muggles, and with the right kind of love and support, we can eliminate the negative thoughts that wreak havoc in our brains. Also, learn to block unwanted people from your lives.

5. Be a social butterfly

In this age of social media, we have more virtual friends than actual friends. So, come out of the virtual world and spend some time with your family and friends. Your family members fall among the ones who love you just as you are. At the end of the day, they are the ones who matter.

Moreover, when you go out of your way to help someone, you feel more positive. Rescuing someone from the same pit of darkness as you are in can help you ward off your own demons. So, don’t shy away from community work.

“Society is like a large piece of frozen water; and skating well is the great art of social life.” – Letitia Elizabeth Landon

6. Lead a healthy life

Exercise and meditation can be of immense help when it comes to overcoming stress and negative thoughts. When you exercise, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin which play an important role in regulating your mood. Mediation helps you to increase your brain power and aligns your thought processes towards optimism.

Other than exercising, you must get enough sleep. Proper sleep helps our bodies to recover from the daily toil and provides it with the time to repair. Also, try to eat healthy food. Avoid gluten, caffeine, and sugar as they make you bitter and depressed. Keep your body healthy, which in turn will tell your brain to be more positive.

7. Make your ambiance teem with positivity

Other than exercising and eating healthy, you can take little steps like drawing yourself a bath or sleeping with a heavier comforter on to make yourself feel more calm and composed. When you feel rejuvenated physically, your mind will automatically feel relaxed.

Get your upholstery in happier shades of light pastels and make sure that your room is adequately lit up. However small these changes might be, they will welcome positivity into your life.

In the end, I would like to emphasize the importance of reducing stress. Train your brain to focus on the brighter side of things, so that depression and negativity cannot take a toll on your mental health. Trust me when I say that you are stronger than you think!

Which one of these 7 tips to eliminate negative thoughts do you need to work on most? Let us know how you’re going to work on it below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

4 Steps to Accepting and Acting on Negative Feedback

Published

on

negative feedback
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

All feedback is good, but not all feedback is positive. We’re often subject to negative feedback at work for different scenarios such as missing a performance target set by the organization or developing a high-end product idea that flopped after testing.

Regardless of the reason, accepting negative feedback can be difficult—especially if there is pressure across the board to perform in the face of perpetual downsizing, outsourcing, or consolidation.

It can be even harder if you’re just starting out. It’s easy to take the feedback as a personal affront. But nothing could be farther from the truth. Performance feedback isn’t meant to insult or demean, it’s an attempt to rehabilitate.

Think about it, why would your supervisor take the time to talk it out if they’d already given up on you? Because motivating a team also means holding team members accountable for what’s not working. Receiving feedback is a chance to improve and better support those around us.

So next time you’re called into the boss’ office for feedback, consider these four steps below:

1. Detach – Remember that it’s not personal

The first step is to detach, emotionally that is. Before the conversation starts, remind yourself that this feedback is based on job performance and factors that include objective data. It has nothing to do with how nice you are, how fun you are around the office, or how you live your life away from work.

Your supervisor is trying to do their job as well as you’ve been trying to do yours. They feel that talking to you now is vital for your own well-being as a team member and for the team as a whole. If there’s something you’re doing that needs to be better, they have a responsibility to everyone on the team to tell you—and early enough so you can address it and make the end result better for everyone.

“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.” – Elon Musk

2. Information – Focus on the data

Your supervisor’s description of your performance should be specific and actionable, so listen first and take careful notes as you pick up on themes. The earlier you try to respond, the more likely you will appear defensive and only out to present your ‘side’.

If you focus on listening and taking down what observations they have, you are more likely to capture what needs improvement. If you’re focused on improving those things, you’ll ultimately grow and be successful in supporting the organization and remaining an asset to those around you.

3. Vision – Create an image of what improvement looks like

The conversation is over. You’ve left the office and are back in your workspace. Review your notes and think about what your supervisor said. It’s time to work on the counter-image—what does improvement look like? This is an exercise in setting and realizing a vision.

Imagine what it looks like for the opposite of the feedback to be true. Don’t think about the steps to get there yet. Focus on ‘winning’ the situation, accounting for each observation your supervisor provided and experiencing success. Develop a narrative that you can see the same way you can watch a television series play out.

Got the image? Now plan your steps, in reverse from the vision you have to the moment you find yourself in now. You must have a vision of where you’ll end up before you can plan the steps to get there, otherwise you’ll set out on a path that leads nowhere—and therefore never ends.

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” – Albert Einstein

4. Empathize – Put yourself in the shoes of those around you

This is the most important step. Your supervisor felt it was the best thing for you and the team to tell you where you fell short and afford you a golden opportunity to do better. The truth is the conversation was likely as difficult for them as it was for you. Having to tell a teammate they’re not meeting standards can eat away at a manager, and is challenging because they must now consider what happens if you’re unable to improve.

You both have the organization’s best interest in mind. Feel what it’s like from their side, what it takes to manage the team and support everyone while meeting performance milestones set by senior leadership. Then think about the team around you.

What are they hoping to see from you? What can you do to help them focus elsewhere in the organization where there’s more work to be done? If you can push the envelope of improvement and get your team moving forward, it allows others to worry about the bigger problems ahead that will take everyone’s effort to solve.

Feedback is a tool for improvement, for yourself and those around you. If you’re receptive, you’ll engender trust and remain as an asset to the organization. That goes for managers, too.

Feedback is a two-way street, so if you’re that supervisor, remember to solicit feedback from your employees on a regular basis and rely on these same four steps to improve and look positively to the future.

How do you deal with handling negative feedback? Let us know your tips for others!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Trending