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6 Epic Lessons You Can Learn From Serious Adversity

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At different stages of our life, we are all going to face some sort of serious adversity whether we like it or not. The adversity will come when you least expect it so knowing how to deal with it is key. To be able to deal with adversity you need some strong references and an understanding of the advantages – this is what I will give you in this article.

I have gone through many adversities in my life and each time one happens, I use previous experiences to be able to deal with them. The strange thing for me now is that I actually love adversity. It’s a sign from the universe that things are about to go really well for me.

When your life gets tough what are you going to do about it? Are you going to spend all your time sulking and focusing on what’s wrong or are you going to build a bridge and get over it? It’s this decision that will determine your success.

I can promise you that if you learn how to deal with adversity then not only can you help yourself, you can serve others in a way you have never done so before. You can become that shining light that everyone want’s to be around. You can achieve levels of human endurance that have never been achieved before.

You can change the world with a new idea or a new technology. Don’t be afraid of adversity, welcome it, understand it and know that everything in your life is temporary. Work on yourself, work on your mind and start to develop a new set of beliefs that are going to empower you when you are faced with adversity.

So let’s get into it. Here are six epic lessons you can learn from serious adversity.

 

1. You’re about to rise up from nothing

Up until this point, you may have been just barely getting through life and not really knowing what your purpose is. When adversity hits (and I mean serious adversity) everything changes in a single moment. Suddenly you stop forgetting about how your hair looks or what you are having for lunch.

Suddenly you are forced into survival mode and the mental patterns that you have learned over the years are disrupted. Adversity is the best thing that has ever happened in your life. It means that you are going to rise up because you will be forced to become stronger.

No longer will you just drift through life because adversity will make you rethink everything you have done to date. It will make you ask yourself what your purpose really is. It will make you ask yourself whether you are really happy.

If the answer to both of these questions is not what you hoped for, that’s okay because you now have an opportunity to change it. You now have some space in your life as you deal with adversity to come up with another strategy for how you want to live going forward.

Know this, if you allow adversity to empower you, and you take the positives from it, you will rise up amongst everyone else like you never have before. You will walk, talk and act in an empowering way. You will achieve your purpose and your goals, and it will be all thanks to your new friend adversity!

 

2. Until now things were too safe

One of the reasons I believe adversity comes into our lives is because it’s a sign that things were too safe. Without some sort of difficult situation, the fact is that you’re not going to change, and you are going to keep doing what is comfortable.

The world wants more from you yet you have been ignoring the signs, so hopefully adversity is your new wake up call.

“Being comfortable will never allow you to live your wildest dreams, and you will just waste this one chance at human life that you have been given”

Stop kidding yourself about what you have done before; it’s not the most that you can possibly achieve! Let adversity allow you another chance to do what you do and go up another level.

 

3. You deserve better

Depending on the type of adversity you face, often we can realise that we deserve better than what we were accomplishing before. Sometimes it is really hard to know if there is something better out there for you because all have known up until now is what you have already got.

The brilliance of adversity is that it makes you think to yourself that you deserve better and that you don’t want your life to reflect the tragedy or pain that the adversity has given you. Sobbing for an extended period of time is not going to get you what you want. You deserve better so stand up tall, visualise what you want and go get it!

 

4. What the adversity means will shape you

If you break adversity down into what it really does at the most basic level, it allows you to change the meaning of the difficult situation, and of your life, at the same time. This is a double-edged sword because you can either get major benefits or serious downsides.

The outcome will come down to one very important thing, what the adversity means to you and how you interpret it. By looking at it from a positive lens, it can shape you for the better. It can be the catalyst for you deciding to do something new or starting a new business.

The challenge is that seeing the good from adversity can be quite hard to do. Just remember that if you see adversity as a bad thing then you will only have pain to deal with. You don’t want pain do you? Great, so then you only have one choice and the decision has already been made for you.

This adversity is the best thing that has ever happened to you, and you are going to do amazing things with the new opportunities it presents – trust me.

 

5. You can’t change it, but you can learn from it

There is another important lesson to learn from adversity; you can’t change it. No matter how hard you try the adversity has happened and it can’t be erased. Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to come from nowhere and throw a grenade at it for you.

So given that there is no way to stop the adversity from happening, the only thing you can do is learn from it. In very difficult situations, the lessons you can learn are far greater than the lessons you will learn from normal everyday situations.

While you still need everyday lessons too, the lessons you get from adversity are far greater and have the potential to massively change the way you are, and your future results. By looking at any great startup success story, almost always, there was some type of adversity that sparked the decision to start a business. Maybe adversity is the push you need to get into action.

 

6. It’s time to re-focus and do what matters to you

Adversity is a forced way for you to refocus. You have no choice but to change what you are currently doing. Often distractions will stop you from staying focused on what you love doing. When you face a serious adversity, you often take a break from work to deal with it.

It’s during this crucial break time that you get a chance to breathe and think about the adversity or person involved in the adversity. Your brain will spend time recalibrating itself, and the neural pathways will change in some way if you let them.

During this downtime, you need to spend time thinking about what matters to you. Chances are the adversity is going to help you do this anyway but just make sure you’re conscious of it. If during this time you discover that what matters to you the most has been neglected, then that’s a great lesson, because you now have the chance to rectify that going forward.

Each day, if you are not doing what matters to you the most, then you will be very unhappy, and that’s no way to live this one life you have been given.

“Don’t think about the time you have lost, but instead, think about the time you have now gained thanks to this opportunity to refocus”

You were put on this planet for a reason, and adversity is only going to help you live your purpose and take charge of your life once and for all. Assuming you got this lesson from adversity, no longer will you wake up late and be uninspired or settle for second best ever again – you’re too important to the world!

 

***Final Thought***

I hope this article has helped you see some of the lessons adversity can give you. From now on I hope that you will look forward to adversity and know that there is a change coming. It’s a big one, and only the bold like you can face it, and overcome it.

Don’t ever let others tell you that this adversity means your life is going to be worse than before – they are wrong, and you’re smarter than that. During this difficult time, go back to the basics of self-development and you will have all the tools you need. Tools like visualising, looking at your beliefs, setting your goals, consuming empowering content and just taking a break, will serve you well.

My buddy Joel Brown has been dealing with some adversity recently and showing immense resilience, so show him some love on his Facebook or Twitter pages by leaving him a comment.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Toño

    Dec 24, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Introduction to this atricle is just excellent, I remember reading it some time ago and today I decided to get back to it once again.

    For some strange reason I can say I actually enjoy adversity myself, and it feels rather sacry sometimes, because of the strength it can provide if you can, so to speak, traslate it right. This summer I burned my legs to the point I wasn’t able to walk for a week. The pain was out of this world really, the most terrible physical feeling I ever had, but it did change my mind and I saw different perspective of life and things I took for granted.

    Despite all the pain, there was a moment when all my fears, doubts and even my ‘little’ depression have gove and I felt happiness inside. It was an unusual way to clear my mind but it actually helped. I realized I do not want to die (at that point I thought I quite might) and neither I will enjoy an opportunity to lose my both legs. I realized I want to enjoy the life, my family and experience all the things I haven’t yet. And when I couldn’t go for a walk with my sister and dogs I realized how cool it is to just be able go outside and breathe that fresh air!

    Thus so called ‘terrible’ experience often come to our life to remind we have a life to live & enjoy, and time is the most valuable currency we have.

    Right now I’m going through different, huge emotional pain that happens at my job, and I feel like I cannot escape it and just have to surrender. Not sure if I can get through, but what I am certain if I can, I will greatly benefit from it. Just need to find a fuel to go forward and make the best out of it.

    Thank you so much, Tim, for this peace of help, I appreciate your time and your desire to share your experience with us. Today I felt like I did a wrong decision, but thanks to you now I can turn it into the right one, as you said, to shape me for the better, instead of punishing myself learn from it.

    My apology for quite long response, stay well and have a great day!

    • Tim Denning

      Dec 30, 2015 at 1:30 am

      Toño glad you like the article. I have also burned myself before too and the pain is unbearable. Don’t apologize for the long response it means that you are trying to share something valuable. I am sure your job will get better so don’t despair. Who knows, maybe it will inspire you to start your own business and add value to others instead?

  2. Julio Zurita

    Dec 5, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    Tim I would like to thank you for this amazing article it really inspire me a great deal thank you so much

    • Tim Denning

      Dec 6, 2015 at 1:48 am

      No problem Julio I am glad it gave you some inspiration!

  3. Evan

    Dec 5, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    Tim!

    This was the most relevant and timely article for me right now, and the best one I’ve read from you man!

    Thank you for the awesome advice. You’re right about the reactions, adversity is like the past; the only way we can change it is by changing how we feel about it.

    Lately I’ve been going through some of the hardest struggles I’ve faced so far as an entrepreneur. I’ve made sure to refocus my priorities onto all the things I’m thankful for and remind myself daily what I’m working for and who I’m becoming.

    No struggle no strength!

    • Tim Denning

      Dec 6, 2015 at 1:48 am

      Glad you got something from it Evan and all the best with your entrepreneurial endevours!

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Life

8 Things You Can Do to Rise Above Failure and Attain Success

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Highly successful people have tasted failure more than success. Whether its Nikola Tesla or Michael Jordan, everyone had his/her fair share of failures before rising to the pinnacle of success. Yet, most people I know are averse to the idea of failure.

When ambition fuels your desires, you become so conscious about avoiding failure that you forget to learn how to cope with it when you actually experience it. So, when you come face-to-face with adversity, it often overwhelms you.

This brings us to the question, how can you train yourself to overcome these difficulties and use them to your advantage? Here’s how:

1. Acceptance is important to overcome failure

When the going gets tough, one of the most frustrating things you may get to hear is “stay positive.” The idea of positive thinking has been misconstrued, misused, and abused continuously. Contrary to popular belief, positive thinking has nothing to do with smiling and being happy with everything that happens to you all the time. Anyone who preaches that is either lying or crazy.

Use positive thinking to learn, grow, and evolve from the experiences we gather in life. Positive thinking simply means that if you are faced with a setback, you work hard to overcome the challenges. When you experience hardships, it is alright to feel upset and disappointed. Our objective, however, is not to stay down.

2. Be honest with yourself

The most crucial part of dealing with a failure involves pausing for a couple of minutes and pondering over what happened. You need to be completely honest with yourself on why it happened.

It is easy to pull out the Smartphone, turn on the laptop or find other forms of distraction. Most people would do anything to distract themselves and keep their eyes shut to the mistakes they have made.

However, if you don’t confront, you don’t learn. And if you don’t learn, then you are setting yourself up for failure again. Albert Einstein famously stated that it was insane to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome. If you don’t derive a lesson out of mistakes and failures in life, then you are doomed to keep repeating them, whether you realise it or not.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

3. Don’t beat yourself up over a temporary setback

When you have experienced a setback, many of you may succumb to the feeling that you’ll always keep failing. It is easy to convince yourself that you are indeed a failure. Don’t let such destructive ideas or thoughts creep into your head. Instead, keep reminding yourself that just because you failed today, it doesn’t mean you’d fail the next time as well.

It is also important that you treat your failure as a passing phase. When you keep moving forward, focus on the right things, and keep learning. Perceiving the setback as a temporary phase rather than something permanent is vital to developing an optimistic attitude in life.

4. Focus on nurturing and improving yourself

Failures don’t discriminate, and it comes to everyone at some point. The trick lies in learning to deal with it and what you do about it that makes all the difference. In many cases, failure happens because a person wasn’t prepared, didn’t invest time on planning or was ill-equipped. It can also be because Lady Luck decided not to shower her favours.

Except for the last one, the rest of the issues can be fixed. Prepare a list of all the things that you think resulted in your failure. Start working on them one at a time. Do everything in your capacity to rectify, improve, resolve, and develop.

5. Find inspiration and support in abundance

Interacting with someone close can be more helpful than you think. You can also learn from people who have been through similar situations and have achieved what you hope to. Gain insights on how they managed to sail through the setbacks or low-points before and during the moment of success.

Or you can gain the motivation or enthusiasm by listening to someone else from an audiobook or podcast for maybe 30-60 minutes. It doesn’t have to be focused on your current setbacks.  Change your mood and mindset back towards optimism again.

6. Adopt a constructive approach and learn from the adverse situation

Consider it as valuable feedback and take home something you can implement in the process of overcoming your failure. The following are some of the questions you need to ask yourself:

  • What is the lesson for me?
  • How can I rectify myself to avoid making the same mistake and do better next time?
  • What can I do to enjoy guaranteed success?

You don’t need to rush through the process. Some of the answers may be immediate, while others might take an hour, a day or even a week to pop up. The significant thing is to start thinking about the situation from this perspective. Also, you need to be constructive about things rather than getting stuck with denial, negativity and apathy.

7. Stop mulling over and move on

Processing the situation and accepting it is the ideal way to deal with failures. Any individual who has experienced failures will know that it is quite easy to stay stuck in the loop of similar thoughts. In fact, this may go around and around for weeks or even months.

Now, in order to be free from this trap, the one habit that might help you is the set of questions like the ones shared above. You can also create a rough plan for how you wish to move forward from here. So, take some time to sit down and write them down.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

8. Purge out all the negativity

Another impactful way to handle the emotional meltdown and the thoughts that emerge from experiencing failure is to purge out all the negativity. In order to let everything out, you need to confide in someone close to you. There are two ways to go about it: Engaging in a conversation with someone will allow you to see it from a different perspective. The person you talk to can assist you in grounding yourself in reality again and motivate you to look for a way forward.

Or you can simply vent about it while the other person who is listening can sort things out for you. He/she can help you accept what happened and boost your spirit by instilling a sense of hope.

The significant thing to remember is that while you can’t stop obstacles from appearing in life, you can devise smart ways to handle them. If you persevere, you can easily discover opportunities that have been waiting for you on the other side. Now, as you become more efficient at dealing with the failures, you will allow yourself to see the positive side in even the toughest of scenarios.

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How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?” (more…)

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Life

The Truth About the Law of Attraction

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When we want something, we generally imagine the form it will take when it manifests. If we’re not careful, however, we can find ourselves attached more to the imagined form than the actual desired outcome. This is like placing an online order and expecting it to come in a blue box shipped by UPS. If we then receive a red box delivered by FedEx, we might not realize that it’s what we ordered, and never even open it!

For example, most of us say that we want money, but when money comes in the form of a free coffee or a gift or a discount, we don’t see it for what it is. We overlook it, and maybe we even say “No, thanks” and decline the gift which is, in one way or another, still money. In doing so, we fail to appreciate the value of the discount, the gift, or the freebie. If it isn’t cash being handed to us, we don’t see it as a manifestation of our desire.

The law of attraction is a funny thing.

It is much more complex and much more intricate than what it seems to be and yet, at the same time, it’s so very simple: We always get what we want. We always receive more of the energy at which we vibrate. Always.

However, if we’re acting from the energy of “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t think I’m worthy,” then whatever it is that we receive will be negated and essentially unseen. On the other hand, if we are open, observant, and maintaining an abundance mindset, we will receive our request on numerous levels and from plentiful sources!

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

This is because we “place our order” not only through our words, but through our actions, our beliefs, and our thoughts.

Last month, I was open to receiving a new client. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I’d set my intention: I was going to get a new client. That night, out of nowhere, I got a message from an old student of mine. She was looking to hire me again as her coach for the upcoming college entrance exams in the U.S. But wait! I didn’t want an entrance exam client.

What I actually wanted was to get life and business coaching clients. This student was my “red box from Fed Ex.” I wanted to decline at first, but as I was about to reply, something made me stop. I asked myself, “Why am I rejecting this?”

This student is an amazing client. She pays on time. She’s not needy. She does her part. Best of all? She doesn’t short-change me. So I said yes, because I realized that the Universe was simply responding to the essence of my desire.

You see, my “Big Why” in everything I do has always been to facilitate an accelerated personal and business growth for my clients, and this student fit the bill in every way. She wanted the personal growth, she was ready to go all in and she reached out to me.

It didn’t look like the package I was expecting so I didn’t recognize it at first—and I nearly turned it away—but she was the perfect answer to my request.

Serving people like her has always been a driving force in my life.

The Universe knows that. It also knew that I wanted a client asap so that I could re-invest the money into my business, so it responded in the most ideal way… but in an unexpected form. And I came so close to missing it!

How many times have I missed other opportunities like this? How many times have I dismissed a “red box” because it wasn’t “blue?” I’ll never know. But I do know that, had I not stopped myself from sending a “No, thanks,” I would have felt as though the Universe wasn’t listening.

That’s the thing: the Universe is always listening.

The more open we are in receiving, the more we thrive. The more open our energy is, the greater the possibilities. Don’t just return that red box to the post office and keep waiting on a blue one. Ask yourself, first and foremost, if what you’re receiving at the moment matches up with your underlying desire.

See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it.” – Rhonda Byrne

The key is to be willing to receive anything and everything. How? Keep on reading1

1. Get clear on your “underlying desire.”

Identify exactly what it is that you really want—in my case, it was an ideal client (underlying) as opposed to a coaching client (surface)—and focus on that. Clear out all the mental noise and static that clouds your awareness.

2. Be flexible

Keep your eyes and mind open for anything that fits the description. When you ask for money, recognize that free coffee for what it is: $3 you were going to spend anyway, that can now remain in your pocket. Every penny on the ground, every coupon, it’s all money.

3. Keep an attitude of gratitude.

The more you appreciate what you have, the more that comes your way. Your grateful mindset opens the energetic door for more to flow your way, because “where attention goes, energy flows.” The more you focus on the things you want, the more you will draw them into your experience.

Remember, that the Universe responds to our requests in whatever way fits best within the big picture.

It’s a picture so big that we couldn’t possibly begin to see how it comes together. Trust it. Know that when you ask, you will receive. It may not come in the form you anticipate, but always in a form that responds to your underlying desire. You just have to be ready to see it.

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Life

7 Simple Ways to Master Your Emotions When Making Decisions

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A lot of people have big regrets when lying on their deathbed. These regrets are often related to bad decisions or decisions not taken. Thus, as it turns out, decision-making is dependent on great self-confidence. A person who has confidence in their decisions has an easier time making them.

Emotions also play a big role in all of this. This is a debate that has confronted two great thinkers. According to Descartes, “decisions are the product of the rational mind.” In other words, decision-making is essentially based on facts and mathematics.

But this thesis was refuted and proven to be wrong by Antonio Damasio in one of his works called “The Error of Descartes”. This was partly based on the story of Elliott, a kid that was very smart, who had above average rational capabilities, but incapable of making a decision, after a surgery to remove a brain tumor on the surface of his frontal lobes. After all his work in that matter, he concludes that a person who is incapable of emotion is incapable of making the most rational decisions.

The management of emotions is therefore completely inherent to good decision making, especially when making the most important decisions. To this end, here are 7 tips to put into practice to really master your emotions thus making the best decisions possible and never regreting them.

1. Take a step back

You must learn to take the time to identify and understand your emotions. Since physical reactions are emotionally related, also take the time to detect the reactions you have to some of your emotions. To be able to take the distance necessary to make decisions, it’s important to refer to your prefrontal cortex. This is the area of ​​the brain responsible for reasoning. To do so you need to put yourself in a stress-free environment for a few minutes.

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent and committed decision.” – Tony Robbins

2. Breathe

The best way to do this is to learn to breathe deeply. This will allow activating your prefrontal cortex again, therefore, to have better control of your emotions so you do not react to them, let alone to the event that causes these emotions. Do this exercise for at least 15 minutes. It’s amazing how you can train yourself never to react, no matter what the situation. Ideally, let at least 24 hours go by before responding to a situation that would normally cause tension.

3. Pay attention

Once you are in the prefrontal cortex, put one hand on your abdomen, at the level of your intestines, and the other hand on your heart, and take the time to listen. These two parts of the body are the two major centers of vibrations and emotions. This is why it’s important to listen and pay attention to them.

The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of your gut and heart. What you need to remember is that the only person you need to trust is yourself. By practicing this exercise, one thing will become very clear: what the emotion you feel seeks to convey to you about the decision you have to make.

Since everything is energy, first make sure that the vibration of the decision you are about to make and that of your heart and gut are in sync. You will then know whether to go ahead with your decision or reject it based on whether you feel serenity or heaviness.

4. Discern untruths

It is important to know whether your nervousness is the result of an untruth you’ve told yourself. These can corrupt the vibrations that should help you make the right decision. You have to throw out all of these untruths and come to the decision-making without any filter. Stop thinking that you’re unlucky, that you’re in a bad situation, that your life is a failure, or that you are a victim.

5. Become aware of your emotions instead of avoiding them

To become aware of your emotions, you must learn to coach yourself. Ask yourself questions: How did you feel the last time you had to ask these types of questions? What did you get in return? Rename what you felt and the result you obtained from what you decided to do. You will thus be much better at assimilating, understanding, and welcoming your emotions.

6. Be as present as possible

There is no point in focusing on the big events surrounding the decision you want to make. Concentrate instead on the present moment, without analyzing the events. Judge based on emotions rather than the event. By being more present, you will be better able to listen to your emotions and feel them.

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” – John C. Maxwell

7. Make your emotions your allies

Each of your emotions speaks to you through the physical and physiological reactions that they generate in you. Look to the weight of their impact on you as an indicator. Only by listening to them, using them, and managing them can you manage your emotions.

Habit comes with practice. With time, these 7 points will become much more natural and will become automatic. You will make better decisions for yourself.  This is one of the best ways to not end up with one of the big regrets.

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