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5 Simple Hacks to Help You Develop the Habit That Will Transform Your Life

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It’s excruciating when we know what’s killing us but we can’t do anything about it because as you know, it is not easy to pull the brake on a high way. According to Napoleon Hill, “remember this always – the best (and one might say the only) way in which old habits may be removed is to form new habits to counteract and replace the undesirable ones”.

Meaning the desire to kill a habit is not all we need, rather, we need something to counter it. Therefore, before you think about getting rid of that habit, find another habit to replace it. Because it’s the emptiness we feel when we try to kill a habit that keeps pulling us back to it.

So after making the decision to kill an old habit, and you’ve found a new one to take its place, here’s how you can easily get the new habit to take precedence;

1. Add enthusiasm to it

After defining the new habit that will take you to that place where you wish to be, to that height you wish to reach, that goal you desire to achieve, the next thing to do is to add enthusiasm to it. By adding enthusiasm, we can feel the emotions around having that goal come to pass, and dwell on them.

Write down how it will feel at the end of the day when you’ve finally achieved that thing. Then start expressing the emotions. If you can’t feel and see yourself being happy with the result, chances are, you’re not going to want to do what you have to do.

“Depending on what they are, our habits will either make us or break us. We become what we repeatedly do.” – Sean Covey

2. Focus all your attention on it

Before anyone can truly focus their mind on anything, they have to remove that thing which is on the way. And the one thing on the way is that old habit. When the thought of doing that thing which you used to do comes, remind yourself that the old habit is not going to take you where you want and this new habit is going to bring you more joy and help you live better. So when the thought of the old habit comes around, remind yourself of this new habit and concentrate all your attention on it.

3. Think about the new habit more often

Similar to the second point, the more you think about the new habit, the more you feel inclined to do what you have to do, or get where you want to go. This is the part where using timed affirmations comes in handy. Write down your new habit and read or remind yourself of it morning, afternoon and night or as much as you can. While reminding yourself about this new habit, think about the end goal, because that’s what will make the new habit seem less stressful.

4. Don’t go looking back

Sometimes, we tell ourselves “we’re just going to take a look, and we won’t do anything”. The more you take a look, the more you realize how much you miss it and more prone to doing it “maybe just once”.

So cut all ties with that old habit. Don’t keep any friends that still engage in that habit. Don’t be in the circle, avoid even talking to them when they’re performing that habit. The more you try the new habit the stronger you become, but the resistance to get back becomes weaker if you still pay attention to it.

“Your habits will determine your future.” – Jack Canfield

5. Have mini goals for the day, week and month

The more visible it seems that we’re moving toward a course, the more determined and motivated they become. And that’s why you should set mini-goals that will help you feel that you’re making progress. Because if you don’t feel you’re making progress, then there’d be more reasons to go back to the old habit.

Let’s say you want to form the habit of reading a book. Set little goals such as, read 2 pages every day, 10 pages at the end of the week and 40 pages at the end of the month. This way if you feel demotivated on the third day, you’d realize you’re 70% there which will force you to do more.

As you repeatedly perform these acts, with time, you won’t have to consciously remind yourself that you have to perform them rather, your body will force you every time to carry them out without stress.

Mauris Othuke is a business consultant and copywriter for relationship and personal development coaches. He is an author at several publications who focuses on creating content that helps readers experience a turnaround in their personal lives or relationships. His aim is to give the readers so much value that they won’t have to think twice about coming back to always read his content or employ your coaching services. He spends his spare time giving men tips on how to understand women on Instagram. Learn more here https://linktr.ee/mauris.o.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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