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How to Discover the Fears That Impede Your Behaviors and Thwart Your Plans



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How and why are your fears the limiting factors that impede your behaviors and thwart your plans? A form of emotional energy (just like passion), fear is ever present. It comes in many forms and from various sources; whenever we suspect a hidden agenda, or when we are summoned to find a better way of doing things.

Barriers that cause us to distort and ignore unpleasant results; stifle our learning. If induced, it can only be useful as a good short-term non-repetitive motivator. Like other human energy, it can be oriented and employed as an effective tool for success. If it is self-generated, it can stimulate us and provides us with the energy to meet all important opportunities and challenges.

Have you ever wondered: What did happen to all your past goals, plans and actions; if any? Why didn’t they materialize? You may say that you had tried to overcome them, but why are you still in your present situation? Nothing you tried worked in the past, so how different will it be now!

The ONLY ANSWER that I could offer: It is because you are still having negative limitations within you! They held you back in so many ways, and in every way. In reality, when you come face to face with your difficulties; you look for the nearest exit – avoiding them rather than challenge them and move forward. Your focus on your goals is being distracted and you abandon your vision.

These fears are very effective! In the most extreme cases, they are very destructive – causing emotional (mental illnesses), social (shunned and avoided by others) and physical (bodily maladies) results! Normal ones have crossed over the line to destructive ones (in varying degrees) when you allow them to inhibit you from attempting whatever you would like to do or should do.

Regardless of which kind they are, they will continue to thwart your current and future plans and actions; unless you decide to tackle them head on, accepting them as a stimulus. Otherwise, you will suffer their paralyzing effects. Have you really considered every possible restriction thoroughly? What kinds of strategies and plans did you adopt to deal with them?

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” – Rosa Parks

Where Do These Hurdles to Personal Development Come From?

What are these stumbling blocks? They apply to every one of us; and can come in various forms, to name a few, they include fear of:

  • Failure or mistakes
  • Success
  • Disassociation with your current, or even new associations
  • Step out of your comfort zones or into the unknown.

They came from conditioning from your past – the people who came before you (your grandparents, parents, even teachers), your peers, and even on starting a job. We were all conditioned to work accordingly and not question authority or facts. They manifested through your personality or temperament, and in your own thoughts of failing and making mistakes. You also want to avoid being ridiculed and what others may think of your sudden failed undertakings.

Your upbringing also often warned you that to be successful is taboo. Success means earning lots of money is sinful or through unscrupulous means.  They also come in the form of the kinds of people you attract and associate with. Such influences can harm you and add to your unease to move out of your comfort zones due to lack of support.

In the form of negative messages from news broadcasts on TV, newspapers or in magazines – on assaults and murders, growth barriers convince us that the world is coming apart. Another commonly overlooked area is our ignorance and neglect of the use of the vast positive resources (books, magazines, tapes and even email newsletters) readily available to us. One thing, for sure, is that all these – induced or self-generated – fears have their limits. It is up to you to discover and halt them before they overgrow to the state of being overwhelming.

How are These Restrictions Limiting Your Actions and Behaviors?

From past ignorance, they lead to further ignorance; not letting us want to explore the Unknown. They lead us to have mixed perceptions of things around us. We thus keep repeating them throughout our daily lives over and over again.

Can You Completely Dispel All These Limitations?

Yes, we all can! You must first realize that FEAR really is no more than False Evidence Appearing Real.

The road to success is never easy for anyone. You only see successful people in their peak moments, not their many years of striving to get there. The two sure things in life are death and taxes. The two sure things on the road to success are failure and doubt.

You must learn from failure and conquer your doubt in order to achieve any success. Thus, you need to have a well-developed plan, with your values as foundation and a vision for yourself from within you; to make that vision happen. In short, there is nothing holding you back. So give them no power in your life. Instead turn them into positive fears and start to enjoy living life on the right path.

Now, decide what YOU REALLY WANT for yourself! Face up to your qualms and turn them around. Regain control of your life as you avoid all the dangers of failure. Put all these down on paper, not just bits and pieces; get a journal. It will come a long way as you plan out your every step of your life from this point onwards.

I used to draft meetings, afraid that I will make the mistakes of jumbling my facts up. Then, I begin to view it as a good thing. It in turn created discipline in me and helped me to be more focused on the important things that I really need to do.

Beware: These hindrances can sneak back even when we are successful. To keep us on our toes, we all need a good mentor or someone to whom we can be accountable to. If you would let the trepidation of letting someone else down be greater than your willingness to let yourself (even your goals) slip away; you are on your way to be a winner, overcoming your personal development barriers.

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” – Marie Curie

Wouldn’t it be great when the day comes for all of us to leave this world, we can be proud that we had LIVED LIFE and made it an enriching and successful one. We all want to be honored and recognized for our efforts during our time on this earth – we all get only one chance. So, let’s not waste it and make the most of it!

Knowing the fundamental limiting factors that most affect your personal actions and behaviors, you are set to focus upon adopting your new life strategies. These include your personal philosophy, and the remapping of your personal values and ethics. Draw up your personal development plan to help you along as you embark onto the fulfillment of your many desires.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE the power of the change within you – in mind, body and soul – as you grow in your capability to dispel all your personal development barriers. You must be willing to take some risks and accept no excuses from yourself! That way, you will have no regrets in yourself and your life. If one way fails, look for alternative ways to overcome your problems.

Remember that any kind of change and goal achievement – including the mastery of fears – is a learning process as you travel on your road to success. It takes time to happen.

Gloria A. Adams works as a content writer for the help writing essay service. Besides, she is highly interested in business coaching. In this case, she takes part in different conferences and webinars in order to get new knowledge and skills. Gloria dreams of writing and publishing her own book on career succession.

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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