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This Is the Year You Move Into Your More

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Do you have a big bold goal you have been wanting to accomplish? On the heels of the year we had in 2020, it may seem insurmountable. In the 25+ years, I have been coaching my clients to bankroll their brilliance, I have learned that so many people want more but are scared to get it!

I am talking about people who are ALREADY successful. You already have the career you always wanted. Matter of fact, you have the corner office, the title, and the expense account. You have it all and yet you feel like something is missing. However, because you are already successful, you feel guilty for wanting more. Does that sound familiar? 

Well, can I tell you that the reason you have that rumble in your belly is because you’re done with where you are. Your bio or resume is complete and so it’s time to permit yourself to stop settling for what you’ve already accomplished!  Yes, there is MORE for you to do!

The sad truth is that most people believe that going after that rumble in your belly, which is tied to your purpose by the way, is only for a select few. They spend their days in a career that is good enough, focus on climbing the corporate ladder or going after a larger paycheck instead of actually going after the rumble inside their belly which is their heart desire! Well, if you are ready for 2021 to be the year you go after your big bold dream, here are the three steps that will help you achieve it.

1. Be Willing To Do It Afraid!

What I hear from most people about going after what’s next is that they are scared. They are scared that they won’t reach the same success they have already obtained as they transition to this new way of exercising their gift. Well to that, I say ANYTHING you do that is great WILL BE SCARY! Ask Ava DuVernay, a little black girl from Compton who accomplished one insurmountable goal of being a publicist in Hollywood. To leave that career to go after her MORE and follow her REAL passion of becoming a director.

Let me tell you that when you are already successful, often times, it is THAT success that’s in your way. You see, the ranks you climbed to get to where you are can keep you in ‘‘good enough,’’ if you let it. Understand that feeling afraid is a normal part of the process. Your MORE is a new place you have never been before, so because of that, it’s going to be scary.

Just don’t let that fear paralyze you from moving toward your goals. Your comfort zone can keep you in very predictable spaces. Matter of fact, your comfort zone is where dreams go to die! So, don’t stay where you are choosing comfort and what may seem the easiest or most convenient thing to do. Let go of fear and your expectations of having to know and understand it all; accept that you may need to do #2.

“Life is from the inside out. When you shift on the inside, life shifts on the outside.” – Kamal Ravikant

2. Find Help!

When you are setting out on a path you have never been on before, there are some things that you just aren’t going to know how to do, no matter how brilliant you already are! So, stop trying to figure everything out yourself and find someone to help you move your vision forward.

Yes, you may be gifted enough to do this new thing but do you know the strategy you need to use or even how to grow it effectively? One of my favorite quotes by Bishop A.R. Bernard is “The Tools You Used on This Level Are Not Sufficient For Your Next,” so you must invest in a coach, a class etc… that will give you the strategy you need to move your dream forward.

3. Create A Winning Strategy

Often, overwhelm and/or fear sets in because you are working without a plan. And when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Instead, creating a strategy will assure you are on a path toward success. A strategy is a long-term plan of action designed to achieve a particular goal or a set of objectives. When you have a plan and something goes different than expected, as it always will, you can make needed adjustments. Instead of being totally thrown off altogether. So YES, having an expert who understands this NEW lane you are walking into and helps you create a winning strategy is a MUST!

You may also wish to create your strategy into a vision board. A vision board is a collage of pictures, images, statements and/or affirmations of your dreams or all the things that you believe in your life. Vision boards became popular years ago with the introduction of the Law of Attraction, which is the belief that “like attracts like” and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results.

The idea is that by creating a vision board, you are surrounding yourself with images of what you want and therefore, your life changes to attract those things that you desire to come to you as you focus on it by making a Vision Board. It also is a reminder of what you are working toward and keeps you inspired to stay in action to obtain it.

If 2021 is the year for you to successfully MOVE into your MORE, stop looking for the shortcut toward the success that is yours; instead, put into practice 1, 2 or all 3 of these steps I have laid out for you. I know for sure that if you read this far down in this article, it’s because you know that you want more. So now, all you need to do is take positive action to go and get it!

Nicole Roberts Jones is the CEO of NRJ Enterprises, a premier training and talent development company that works with women entrepreneurs and executives dedicated to do work that allows them to align their God-given purpose with their paycheck. Nicole is uniquely gifted at one thing – drawing out what’s best in YOU and helping you take your Brilliance to The Bank. With over 25+ years’ experience working with entrepreneurs, corporate executives, heads of states, celebrities, and nonprofit directors in talent and program development, her clients have included: the Steve Harvey World Group, Dell/EMC, McDonald’s, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Lisa Nichols and Motivating the Masses, Coach Diversity Institute, the BOSS Network to name a few plus she has coached thousands to Bankroll Their Brilliance. Learn more about Nicole at www.NicoleRobertsJones.com  and take her free Brilliance Roadmap Quiz that will assess where you are and give you the strategy to move forward NOW at www.BrillianceRoadmapQuiz.com.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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