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How One Empowering Mindset Shift Can Elevate Your Entire Life

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Mindset shift

To become a successful entrepreneur, I had to radically shift the way I thought about myself, my life and success. Taking that long look in the mirror can be a painful process. Most people don’t like what I’m about to say but I need to say it because internalizing this is critical to success. This is the hardest truth I had to face and I imagine it’s going to be tough for you too.

You’re exactly where you want to be, your life is exactly as good as you feel you deserve it to be. Right now – in your career, in your relationships, in your life – you’re exactly where you want to be. “Wait,” you protest.  “But I read articles on successful morning routines and the power of persistence! I want a better life. I want out of this cubicle. I want more money & more freedom.” I know how you feel, I’ve been there too.

The Wantrepreneur’s Dilemma

You’ve probably heard the term “wantrepreneur.” Basically it’s someone who wants to become an entrepreneur – they read about it, they talk about it, they listen to podcasts about it – but they struggle to take any real action. There’s a good reason for this – wanting isn’t enough.

You have to feel, down in your soul, that you also deserve the things you want. If you want more money, more freedom and a better life, you have to feel that you deserve those things too. Because if you don’t know it in your soul, your internal thermostat will kick in and push you right back into your comfort zone.

Escaping Your Comfort Zone

We all know how a thermostat works. When things get too cold, it turns on the heat. When things are too hot, it turns on the air conditioning. A thermostat regulates your environment to keep you comfortable. Most people, however, don’t know that we also have an internal thermostat that regulates the comfort zone of our life. When things get bad, or “too cold,” it kicks in the motivation to get you moving. You take action and solve your problem, which warms you up and settles you back into your comfort zone.

This is great when life is “too cold.” Unfortunately, the internal thermostat also works at the other end of the spectrum. When you earn some success and life begins to heat up, your internal thermostat will cool things off and bring you back down into your comfort zone.

The thermostat’s job isn’t to help you reach new heights of success, it is to just keep you comfortable. Since comfort isn’t what we’re after – we want success and happiness, we need to reset our thermostats.

“To move to a new level in your life, you must break through your comfort zone and do things that are not comfortable.” – T. Harv Eker

How to Reset Your Internal Thermostat for Success

The only way to change your comfort zone is to change the settings on your thermostat. The only way to change the settings on your thermostat is to change your beliefs. It was this realization that I had to change my beliefs, in order to raise the upper limits of my comfort zone – that radically transformed my life.

Let me give you an example of a limiting belief that was holding me back:

“Working hard means you’re working long hours.”

When I was a kid, my dad owned a deli. He left for work at 5:00 in the morning and most nights didn’t come back until after 9:00. Most weeks he worked six days. He often got called in for an “emergency” on his days off. A normal work-week for my dad was 80 hours, easy.

As a child and a young man I thought the way my dad did it was the way it was supposed to be done so the belief that working hard means you’re working long hours was crystallized into my soul, my thermostat was set. A lot of us develop beliefs this way.

When I graduated college, I turned down a 9-5, corporate job to work in hospitality. For over 10 years I worked “in the business” as those in hospitality refer to it. Long shifts, working holidays, weekends, and nights, are all the norm.

I let my limiting belief of “working hard means you’re working long hours,” set a low ceiling on my comfort zone. There was a piece of me, without me consciously realizing it, that forced me to work ridiculously long hours. It wasn’t until I started to explore my limiting beliefs that I even uncovered this and started to raise the upper limits of my comfort zone.

Destroy Your Limiting Beliefs

I never felt so empowered as the day I discovered that my subconscious beliefs were holding me back. The path forward seemed so much clearer, I just had to destroy these limiting beliefs. I encourage you to explore, and destroy, the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. The next time the voice in your head says something like “rich people are selfish,” or “a steady paycheck is secure,” or “you need to be jerk to get ahead” – stop yourself and recognize that these statements aren’t true, they are just your limiting beliefs.

Awareness of your limiting beliefs is the first step to destroying them, and raising the upper limits of your comfort zone. Once you discover a limiting belief, ask yourself – is this always true?

“You begin to fly when you let go of self-limiting beliefs and allow your mind and aspirations to rise to greater heights.” – Brian Tracy

If it’s not always true, then ask yourself why you believe it to be true. And if you can’t discover any good reasons to continue believing it to be true, then challenge yourself to replace your limiting belief with an empowering belief instead. These empowering beliefs could be “Working hard means caring about my clients,” “Rich people worked hard and I admire their success,” or “Helping others makes me happy and proud.”

When those empowering beliefs replace your limiting beliefs as the regulators on your thermostat, you’re comfort zone will expand to include all of your wildest success and dreams. Your internal thermostat won’t be turning on the air conditioning to sabotage your success.

Brian Saemann is a successful digital marketing consultant and the founder of the Digital Agency School. He likes solving problems, learning new things and helping people become successful entrepreneurs. He believes that entrepreneurs are made, not born, and that the biggest problem in the world today is that schools exist to merely produce employees. If you want to explore your own entrepreneurial journey, you can check out Brian’s secrets to success.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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