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5 Essential Tips for Dealing With Uncertainty

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Change is hard. Some of us are devoted creatures of habit, adhering to routines and avoiding anything that feels uncomfortable. On the opposite end are adventure enthusiasts, always seeking a new challenge. But, no matter where you fall on that spectrum, everyone has a limit when change is forced upon them.

We’re currently finding our way through a season of forced change. We’re dealing with the fallout of a deadly virus, and many of us have felt completely unprepared at one time or another. Human lives are in jeopardy, unemployment rates have skyrocketed, and on top of it all, we are still separated from our friends and loved ones.

It’s understandable to feel helpless and heartbroken at the devastating effects that the coronavirus pandemic is having on much of the world. We did not want or ask for this kind of change, and yet, we need to find a way to move forward.

So how do we deal with something so unexpected? How do we manage change during such troubled times? The following five tips will help guide you through this process and provide applicable ways to stay positive and make the most of this uncertain time.

1. Be Honest and Allow Yourself Time to Grieve

The coronavirus has impacted each of us in different ways. It’s important to give yourself the space to feel all the emotions that come along with this kind of unexpected change. Be honest and give yourself the space to explore what you’re feeling; you’re human, after all. It may be anger, sadness, frustration, confusion, or some combination of all of the above.

You don’t have to pretend that you have it all together. Whether you’ve lost loved ones, your job, or are feeling weighed down by uncertainty, you need time to process and grieve. It’s important to address your emotions head-on. If you bottle them up or ignore the problem, they’re more likely to manifest in unhealthy or harmful ways.

There’s no easy fix or cure-all, but by honestly acknowledging pain, you can start the healing process. It won’t be easy, but you’ll be one step closer to finding a solution and moving forward.

“Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most exciting moments in life take us completely by surprise.” – Lori Deschene

2. Practice Gratitude

Your life has been disrupted. Daily routines, future plans, and social circles have been tossed out the window. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when all you can see is the negativity in your life. That said, the best way to fight negativity is to focus on the positive.

Find small things to be grateful for every day. You might struggle with this at first, but try to shift your perspective. Try keeping a gratitude journal and jot down a few things you are thankful for every day. If writing isn’t your thing, you can share what you are grateful for with a spouse, family member, or friend.

If you are intentional about focusing on the positive, no matter the situation, it will soon become a habit. It’s a challenging time for everyone, but by choosing gratitude, there will be small moments of light, joy, and laughter that might make the weight of change easier to bear.

3. Find a Rhythm to the New Normal

It takes time to adjust whenever you encounter change. This is especially true when it’s an unwanted change for which you didn’t ask.

To ease this process, try to add structure to your day. Find order amidst the chaos; if you’re newly unemployed, for example, be intentional about setting an alarm and getting up at a regular time. It might seem silly, but by going through the motions of daily life, you can help jumpstart your motivation and free yourself from a negative mindset.

In contrast, if you’re working remotely for the first time, try following a strict schedule to help you stay productive and focused. When most of the things in your life feel out of control, it’s helpful to focus on what you can control. It’s possible to find a rhythm to the new normal, and to add consistency and stability to your day.

4. Surround Yourself With Support

When going through unexpected change, it’s important to surround yourself with a strong support system. The coronavirus pandemic has made this especially hard, though; most of the population is still separated, and normal social engagement just isn’t as simple as it once was.

Although it’s going to take more effort and creativity, it’s still possible to stay in touch with friends and family. There are countless virtual communication platforms such as Skype, Zoom, Facetime, and Facebook Messenger.

We all need to feel heard and understood during times of hardship. If you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness and anxiety, reach out to a friend or loved one. It’s critical to remember that, even when you’re physically isolated, you are never alone.

5. Invest in Yourself

You might suddenly find yourself with a lot more time on your hands than before. Rather than giving in to boredom, though, you can leverage this as an opportunity to expand your knowledge and skill set.

Use this time to do some of the things you wanted to try, but never had a minute to spare. This could be learning a new language, trying out a new recipe, picking up a new instrument, reading a book, or simply spending more time with your children.

It’s okay to take time for yourself. You might feel like your world is falling apart, and that’s understandable. Invest in yourself. Setting aside time for yourself and participating in activities or hobbies that you love will help ease the pain and fear of navigating this uncertain time.

“Fear is often our immediate response to uncertainty. There’s nothing wrong with experiencing fear. The key is not to get stuck in it.” – Gabrielle Bernstein

Keep Moving Forward

During a time of worldwide unrest, self-isolation, and economic upheaval, it’s hard not to feel helpless. The urge to give up and spend your day binging Netflix is all too appealing. That’s not to say you shouldn’t give yourself the space to unwind and do nothing; in fact, that’s going to be necessary to help you recharge from time to time.

I encourage you to keep moving forward, though. Keep setting goals and continue planning for the future. We won’t be in this situation forever, and hope can be found in the act of movement and of reaching towards something.

The unexpected change brought about by the coronavirus outbreak affects people across the globe and from all walks of life. It’s possible, though, to process and deal with this change in a healthy way. We will get through this. It won’t always be easy, but you owe it to yourself and your loved ones to try.

Monica Eaton-Cardone is an author, speaker and entrepreneur. She currently serves executive roles at three different companies, all of which she’s founded in the last five years. Her internationally-recognized risk mitigation and chargeback management firm, Chargebacks911, manages more than 200 million transactions each month and helps some of the biggest brands in eCommerce. In addition to being a friendly fraud expert, Monica also shares her expertise regarding eCommerce stability, threat metric analysis, and much more. Connect with her on LinkedIn.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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