Life
Follow These 3 Steps to Start Living Your Life by Design Not by Default
Every single individual walking this earth is alive. But that doesn’t mean that you’re actually “living.” Living, in this context, refers to taking control of your life, creating a vision, creating goals, and then executing on those goals.
Not everyone does this, sadly enough. If you find yourself waking up every morning without a sense of direction and going through every day without aspirations to improve, you’re living by default. You’re not taking control of your life, but you’re letting life take control of you.
Now, if you live life with a purpose, chase your hearts desires, and wake up every day with a goal/plan in mind, you’re living by design. Design being that you’re creating your life to create the reality you wish to live in every day. It’s safe to say that you shouldn’t be living your life by default.
Follow these three steps, and your future self will thank you for it:
1. Wake up with a goal in mind
If you wake up without a goal in mind for the day, you’re better off remaining asleep. By starting your day off without a plan or a goal, you’re essentially just “winging it.” Winging it throughout your day is, in essence, letting whatever life has planned for you happen. You’re like a zombie just going with the flow.
This is living by default because you’re not designing your day. If you continue this bad habit, you’re going to find yourself wondering where time has gone a few years later. You’re then going to realize you didn’t create your reality, but instead let life have its way.
Many individuals who end up here have a habit of blaming the world and everything else around them for their mistakes, when the person to blame is the one staring back in the mirror. The point is, wake up with at least one goal in mind, if not multiple goals each and every day, and attack them.
“I’m always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning… Every day I find something creative to do with my life.” – Miles Daves
2. Stop letting time be a determinant
The saying “time goes on with or without you” is the theme here. So many times we allow time to determine whether or not we should take action or pursue our dreams. Lots of millennials believe they’re too young for certain professions or to start a business, and older adults believe they’re too old to pursue old passions.
This is completely wrong and has been proven wrong time and time again. There are entrepreneurs in the world as young as 9 years old making a difference. There are also adults who are 65 years and older starting a business for the first time. Mind you, these are all things outside of the norm.
It’s never too early or too late to do anything. When I first started my business in college, I felt a sense of urgency to further grow it. My parents would always tell me “you have your whole life ahead of you, slow down.” I ignored them, of course. It doesn’t matter how much time you have left in your life. You should take control of your life and start creating your reality immediately and unapologetically.
3. Execute, execute, execute
This follows the last point. Once you stop letting time be a determinant and start creating your life, you have to execute. Simply creating the life you want in your mind and not executing on those goals aren’t enough. The world is full of individuals who have dreams, goals, and passions who never do anything about it. Once you visualize and know beyond a reasonable doubt, what you want your reality to reflect, begin attacking those goals, never give up, and never look back.
“Vision without execution is a daydream. Execution without vision is a nightmare.” – Japanese Proverb
It’s easy to live your life constantly putting off important tasks that will catapult you towards your dreams by falling into the normal routine. It all starts with a decision to design your life and make your reality a reflection of who you wish to be.
Wake up with a goal in mind, ignore the imaginary limitations society has made you believe, and execute. One day you’ll wake up to a life you’ve built, and not one that was given to you. I’m not saying this will be easy, but I am saying that it will be worth it.
Are you living your life by your own design or somebody else’s? Leave your thoughts below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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