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Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it?

All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success…

Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’!

You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted of the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever…

You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it.

Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

 

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times.

Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is you’re denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and you’re business are in a bad place.

Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it.

And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

 

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads!

In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match.

It’s a bit like dating actually…

So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

 

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not!

With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE.

It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true.

But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

Challenge fear picture quote

 

 

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough.

You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special!

But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

 

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default.

It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times.

But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having.

So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

 

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right?

I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it?

Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing.

But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing?

Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

 

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

 

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

Linda Coussement is a life coach, writer and documentary maker. She’s slowly travelling the world asking all sorts of people: “How is it to be you?” Get her 10-page workbook on how to turn your dreams into practical reality right here and/or connect with her on Facebook.

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. BASHEER KHAN RAHUMA

    Aug 12, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    very good

  2. Rose Costas

    Nov 11, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    Hi Linda

    Thanks for a great post. When I read your post I felt like you were directly speaking to me. I have been guilty of all of the above. I particularly like #6 because I find it so very hard not to feel like I have failed. I am not afraid to put in the time but whenever there is a set back as I prefer to call it I feel like I am the one who has failed. I am learning to look at it differently and I like the way you emphasize that giving your all couldn’t and shouldn’t be considered failing at all.

    Thanks for another great post.

    • Linda

      Nov 13, 2014 at 10:02 am

      Thanks so much Rose! And I agree it is incredibly hard to change this perspective of not feeling like a failure but I stand by my words: when you’re giving it your best; you’re NOT failing.

      Think of Olympic athletes; we can all imagine the talent, the hard work and the passion that goes into training and making it to the Olympics. For that alone all these athletes are considered winners. But…I’m sure all of them not winning the gold feels like a failure nonetheless. Crazy humans!

      All the best with learning!

  3. Michelle Russell

    Nov 9, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    Great article, Linda! I like the common-sense flavor of all your points. I think there’s a huge tendency to adopt the “fake it ’til you make it” attitude that gets trumpeted by so many (already successful) online businesspeople–which leads to cognitive dissonance because then we’re trying to appear confident while feeling the exact opposite. As a culture, we glorify success . . . but I really like the way you redefine what that really means at the very end of this post. 🙂

  4. www.fromstartuptogrowup.com

    Nov 7, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Thanks Scott! I’m not sure if it’s the Taurus or simply the entrepreneur in you (perhaps even the human being ;)) that is stubborn.

    I really like your addition; it’s very true that burn out is just around the corner and it’s so important to let go, even when it’s only for a little while.

  5. Lynn

    Nov 6, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    Linda, I just love the points you’ve made here in such an entertaining and informative way. You kept my attention the whole way through!

    The first point is incredibly important. Until we can acknowledge reality (but without overlaying too much of our opinion on it), we can’t take constructive steps to improve. While I advocate positive thinking, reality isn’t relentlessly positive!

    Well done.

    • www.fromstartuptogrowup.com

      Nov 7, 2014 at 12:05 pm

      Thanks for that Lynn! And yes…we loooove living in denial but there’s really no possibility for change if we don’t first acknowledge that it is necessary!

    • Linda

      Nov 7, 2014 at 3:56 pm

      Thanks Lynn! Denial is a fantastic place to live (we tell ourselves) but is indeed not the place where any positive change, let alone the desired magic, happens! Positivity comes from being okay with that what seems or feels negative!

  6. Scott

    Nov 6, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    Linda – Great article! I’ve definitely been guilty of all of these at one time or another. I particularly resonate with #5—I’m stubborn to a fault (must be the Taurus in me), and many times believe that I have all the right answers when in fact I’m so mired in what isn’t working that I lose sight of the bigger picture. Having a mentor or coach is essential for times like that.

    One thing I might add to your list is to stop believing that working long hours, everyday, is the answer to success. That can lead to burn out very quickly and accelerate those feelings of failure. Calculated breaks and mini-vacations are absolutely critical to refresh the mind, and they allow you much needed distance in order to gain perspective.

    • Linda

      Nov 7, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      Thanks for that addition Scott! It’s definitely true that working too many hours is one of the big traps entrepreneurs (and many others) fall in. I’m actually really guilty of it myself…

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Life

I Want To Be Happy – Only With You

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I only want to be happy with you.

I want you to find love and not be single for the rest of your life because you’ve told me how much you want to settle down and have a family one-day. I know how much you enjoy the company of an intelligent partner who knows how to have a proper conversation. I want to be that partner.

I want you to have time to talk before breakfast and enjoy a healthy meal with me, so you have loads of energy to live your day with passion. I want you to have time to tell me about your workday and what inspired you. I want to hear about how you’ve empowered others to chase their dreams.

I want you to tell me about how you went for drinks after work and had way too many red wines. To tell me the smallest detail about your day knowing that I will still be fascinated because of how much I care about you.

I want to smile when I get a message from you knowing that you inserted the maximum amount of emoji’s and that I will do my best to compete and add in more with my own reply. I’ll try my best to add in even more crazy emoji’s so that you have to think very carefully about what I am trying to say and what each emoji means. Our emoji game can be like a never-ending puzzle that we spend the rest of our lives trying to solve.

I want us to travel all around the world and experience new cultures together. I want us to go to places that scare the hell out of us and defy the ridiculous terrorism warnings that stop people going to beautiful cities like Paris.

“I don’t want us to live in fear; I want us to live with passion”

As part of that travel dream, I want to whisk you away when you least expect it and take you somewhere that will help you remember me forever, even after I’m gone. I want you to have one special place where you can remember me for a single moment and know that I will always be with you. I want that place to make us both smile when we think of it. I want to make these crazy dreams with you.

I want you to feel like you can do whatever you want and there is nothing holding you back. I want you to feel as free as a bird flying over the sea without a care in the world. I want you to know that I will always move obstacles out of your way so you can feel that sense of freedom.

I want to stay home from work when you have the flu and make you yummy soup, even if it means I get sick with you, and we both have to stay home. I want to take you to the doctor’s office when you’re unwell and conquer any medical issue with you. I want us always to believe in hope if the worst happens.

I want to be there for you no matter what.

When our parents are eventually gone one day, I want us both to never forget them. To never forget the dreams they had for our lives and the difference they made. While they may not have got everything always right, they did their best. We’ve both had struggles with a difficult sibling, but that’s not their fault. For their sake, we will do our best to have a relationship with our siblings even if it’s hard. The result of that struggle is the one thing that would make both of our parents proud and we owe them that at the very least.

I may be still single right now, but one day I will find you and we will live happily ever after. That’s a promise to you and to my future self.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

3 Ways You Can Awaken Your Positive Spirit

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It’s 5:30 in the morning, your alarm rings. Do you feel like waking up? Heck no! The pillow is your best friend and at this moment, you wouldn’t mind breaking your phone to shut it up. Nonetheless, responsibilities are calling you. You roll out of bed, making it all the way to the bathroom. It takes you one shower and a giant cup of coffee to wake up.

You hit the road. No gas in the car and you are already running late. You stop at the gas station, rush in the door when you realize you forgot your wallet at home. Current mood: the bomb before the explosion approached by the mental breakdown. Can you resonate?

So, here comes the question. What do you do when nothing seems to go right? Do you bow your head down and get into “Why is this happening to me” mindset? Or do you step up and look at the bright side even when it is hard to spot it?

A positive attitude is a heartwarming topic for me because, for many years, I lived on the negative side. Only by experiencing pain and emptiness, did I start to understand the power of positive thinking in life. The best part is, you can make this switch too.

Here are 3 ways you can awaken your positive spirit in any negative moment:

1. Motion Creates Emotion

Imagine your regular day. You wake up, get ready and head to work. Throughout the day, you deal with all kinds of problems and challenges. Deadlines for your big projects are catching up and your mom just called you, crying that her dog is sick and it doesn’t look good. You work your butt off and by 5pm you are in something that I call exhaustion state. But wait, there is a gym hang out tonight at 7 pm. You already promised your buddy John that you will be there so you show up.

You grab your headset and step on the running belt while playing your favorite song or compilation of motivational speeches. Within 15 minutes of motion, you are feeling better. Your pulse is rising and you start running faster. After 30 minutes of motion and intense exercise, the entire exhaustion is gone and you feel great. Suddenly, the day doesn’t seem so bad and you feel pretty good about yourself. How come? Because of motion.

Every motion creates emotion. One of the things I started to do when I felt under the weather was to exercise or jump and say YES for 60 seconds. I put my hands up like a champ who just won the gold cup and smile. Of course, it looks totally crazy so you won’t see me doing it but the change of my mental state happens in an instant.

“I’m not going to get somewhere and say, ‘OK, I’m done.’ Success is never final; I’ll just keep on going. The same way as failure never being fatal. Just keep going. I’m going to the stars and then past them.” – Conor McGregor

2. Positivity Focus

Let’s take a look at this scenario. One day, two big events. The first is good. You finally closed that deal with a very important client which you were focusing on for months. Great success. But then, you receive an email. It’s from the car company where you applied for your dream car. Unfortunately, your credit score is just a few numbers below their required limit so your application is denied. The question is: Which one are you going to focus on?

The art of happiness isn’t in not having problems or not experiencing losses along the way, it’s all about perspective and your ability to focus on the gains. Life balances itself. I can tell you right now, with solid confidence that you won’t always get what you want or when you want it. Life will often welcome you with re-battles. If you can see your glass half full when things don’t go your way, your positive attitude will save you each and every time.

3. Contribution

Okay, now you may be thinking “What’s up with contribution in this article when we talk about the positive attitude?” I get it so let me explain. Contribution has a highly positive impact on your mental health.

When you give and share, more than likely you’ll receive gratitude from the other person. It makes you feel useful, important and grateful as well. Why? Because there comes the time when you’ll recognize all those things you are taking for granted while others are dying to have or experience them. That’s why we tend to feel more grateful when we contribute.

Gratitude activates positive emotions and directs your focus on the good things. You give and receive at the same time. I call this a double victory.

A positive attitude is both, a corny and classy topic. It becomes corny since we hear it all the time but it stays classy because it always works and definitely saves you from living in misery. Even when you don’t always get what you want, with a positive spirit it will feel like you do.

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa

How do you stay upbeat in moments where nothing seems to be going your way? Please let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

3 Things to Pay Attention to When Building Your Own Personal Brand

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building a brand

Who are you? Not your name or your business or even what your ethics are, but who are you in the sense of what people see when they look at you? Does your name and your business bring happiness to the minds of people who hear it? Does it bring anger? Does it bring peace and joy? Does it bring sadness?

How people feel when they think of you is your personal brand. We all know who Gary Vaynerchuk, Tony Robbins, and Robert Kiyosaki are. These people have built huge reputations for themselves. We also know who Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, and Adolf Hitler are. These people have also build reputations for themselves; very different reputations than the first names I listed.

When you read these names, a different feeling comes to mind, so below are 3 ways on how to evoke positive emotions when people hear your name:

1. Envoke the senses

First lets understand what a brand is. A brand is a product or service that invokes a feeling or emotion. Building a brand is all about invoking the senses of your Customers, you don’t want people to think of your brand and only think of the logo. We want people to have a scent that reminds them of you, a sight like a logo, and a feel that reminds them of not only your brand, but of you as well.

When people think of your company, what do you want them to think of? What emotion do you want to inspire in your customer base, and what can help you inspire that emotion? When creating your personal brand, you want to invoke all five senses of your target audience. If you own a coffee shop, when people walk in you want them to smell coffee, their mouth to water when they think of fresh pastries, their ears to perk up when they hear the beans being ground up.

“I force people to have coffee with me, just because I don’t trust that a friendship can be maintained without any other senses besides a computer or cellphone screen.” – John Cusack

To create your brand you can’t only think about what you want associated with your business, but also what you don’t want associated with it. Think back to the coffee instead of smelling coffee and pastries, how would you feel about walking in and smelling bleach? Would you rather go to the first coffee shop or the second one?

Think of ways to create a positive experience when a customer walks in by bringing a scent to people, or an interesting sight as they walk through the door. These things will all eventually become part of your brand in the sense that when people think of them, they will think of you.

2. Attractive marketing

Marketing is an amazing way to help boost your company’s sales. But marketing can also hurt your business if it isn’t done correctly. Have you ever given someone your email or phone number and had him or her relentlessly spam you trying to get your business? When someone does that, do you want to use their service, or do you want to throw your phone at the wall every time they message you? When building a brand you also want to think of ways to make your business, and marketing plans more attractive.  

This goes back to what you want people to think of when they think of your brand. Small things can go a long way in creating an attractive image for you and your company. Attractive marketing doesn’t stop at just ads, and endorsement. Thinking of ways to portray yourself in a positive light will help as well. It’s natural to think a person would be doing business with a company, but each customer is doing business with you directly. Now think back to a time you were in a store and had terrible customer service. How likely are you to go back to that store?

Even if that company employs thousands of people, the one bad experience you had with one employee could actually prevent you from going back. People are more likely to go somewhere they think of in a positive light, some place that reminds them of a good experience. A personal brand is not only a brand for your company or product, but it is also a way of branding yourself. The goal of marketing and creating a personal brand should be, to get your customer base to feel like they know you personally.

3. Build with social media

Social media is a great way to get your clients to feel like they know you personally. When a client feels like they know you, like you, and can trust you, they are more likely to buy whatever you are selling. People buy based off of person, product and price. So having that personal relationship with a client can go a long way, especially if they don’t know a lot about the product or price. There are tons of social media platforms to reach your customer base, but what platform gives the most personal, and honest form of your business?

One of the most surprising ways to build fans of your brand is podcasts. A podcast lets your audience hear your voice and speaking your opinions exactly how you meant them to be said. The more a person feels like they know you, the more likely they are to feel like they can trust you, your recommendations on products, and investments.

“Social media is not just an activity; it is an investment of valuable time and resources. Surround yourself with people who not just support you and stay with you, but inform your thinking about ways to WOW your online presence” – Sean Gardner

Unlike most social media platforms, podcasts don’t require someone to scroll through an endless feed, or pay attention to their phone or computer. For a podcast all you have to do is throw on a playlist and listen away while you are driving, cleaning, or just doing day-to-day tasks. The main goal is once you have a playlist of podcasts, someone only needs to hear one, let the playlist go, and suddenly be hooked on your opinions and advice.

You have the power to evoke emotions and feelings from people. In every moment of your life you are building your personal brand. Every time you interact with people and every thing you say makes up how people think and feel about both you and your products/services. When it comes to building your brand, the opportunities are endless but what I stated above is the perfect place to begin that journey. Always remember to create a brand to help your company speak for itself.

How do you make sure people understand who you are and follow you? Let us know by commenting below!
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Life

15 Ways to Avoid Regret at the End of Your Life

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Most people live their lives in regret. If you have ever had the misfortune of experiencing regret, it is not a nice thing to experience. You must do the things you need to do to avoid regrets in your life.

At the point when individuals think back on their lives, what are the most widely recognized regrets they have? That is a significant inquiry we have to stop and ask all the more regularly. A few people think back and say the greatest regret they had was to not have kids. Others think back and say their greatest regret was in regards to lost time.

Whatever the case, it’s critical to take a look at how you are carrying on with your life and consider how you can avoid regrets.

Here are 15 ways to avoid regrets later on in your life:

1. Don’t follow someone else’s dreams

So many of us are living other people’s dreams such as our parents, guardians and other authoritative figures in our lives. We all have dreams and should endeavor to follow those dreams to the latter irrespective of what others may think. You can’t please everyone and should look to only please yourself and do what is right for you.

2. Stop taking your loved ones for granted

Your children won’t be children forever and will grow up to become adults and not have time for you as much. They may never even call and your parents will not be parents forever, they will leave you someday. So make sure you endeavor to spend every waking moment with them and appreciate them while you still have the opportunity to do so.

3. Stop pretending to be someone else

Imitation is suicide. When we pretend to be someone we are not, we are spending so much time not being who we are and in that situation, we are spending a whole lot of time not living. You are the person you know very well and if you spend your time living someone else’s life you will only end up being a copycat instead of being the very best you could be as well as being number one at it.

The most inspiring people in the world are true to themselves and when you are true to yourself, you will be at ease. This tends to attract like-minded people into your life which help you live a more fulfilling life.

4. Don’t burn all your bridges

Life is a journey of ups and downs, and you will have to be kind to people on your way up because you will meet them on your way down. Don’t burn the bridges of your past as you may need them later in life.

5. Always tell the truth

Lies destroy families and relationships. When you tell a lie you will have to back that lie with another and another until you have a whole tangled web of lies that cannot be remedied even if you want to. True relationships have their foundation in the truth and lasts forever. Always endeavour to tell the truth in every situation as telling a lie can lead to future regrets.

6. Live in the moment

Have you ever noticed that when you were a kid time seemed to be really slow and now that you are an adult, time moves really fast? That is because as kids, we always lived in the moment and as adults, we are always thinking of our next scheme, idea or business that time just seems to fly past us. Take your time to experience the now as you may regret it later in the future when you look into the mirror and ask where all the time went.

“All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.” – Byron Katie

7. Don’t give up on true love

This is one of the biggest areas of regret for most people as they reject love because of fear, work or other excuses they give themselves. When you happen to find true and real love, cherish and nurture it well so that you don’t end up regretting it in the future.

8. Make others happy

The mark of a true existence is in the ability to make other people’s lives better and easier. Strive to make people happy and you will be happy yourself. A mid-life crisis is mainly made up of regrets and one way to alleviate this regret is to find a way to make people’s lives better. Do something good for someone such as engaging in volunteer work. In the end, it is not about your possessions but how many lives you touched.

9. Stand up for yourself

Many adults have always regretted not standing up for themselves when they had the opportunity to do so. Do not let people take you or any other person for that matter for granted. When I resumed secondary school there was this kid who tried to bully me. I warned him on many occasions to leave me alone and when he refused I had to punch him in the face.

He punched me back but never disturbed me again. Not that I am advocating violence but when someone tries to take advantage of you, fight back. Then they will know that you cannot be toiled with.

10. Take care of your health

It cannot be emphasized enough that health is wealth. You can have all the money in the world but without your health, it is nothing. Make sure you have a regular check-up and exercise and eat right.

11. Experience more

This is one of the greatest regrets of the dying because they wished they had experienced more out of life. Travel, go out with friends, see places and experience life because that’s what we are supposed to do while being alive, live.

12. Listen more

Surely, we all have lots to say but it is better when we listen. Listen to your spouse, listen to your kids and listen to your friends instead of talking all the time. Listen to the advice of your doctors and parents, family members and well wishers.

13. Don’t fear failure

Dare. Don’t be afraid to fail and take risks. On their death beds, most people always regret not taking chances on life and doing what they wanted to do and follow their dreams.

Don’t fear failure. Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” Bruce Lee

14. Don’t wait

There is no time again, if you have a dream, chase it. If there’s someone you like, let them know because you will always come second to someone who has taken the initiative to do something with their lives.

15. Talk to an elderly person

Old people regret lots of things and talking to them, they will tell you what to do and what not to do. Unfortunately, most of us see our old people as outdated and think that old people have nothing to teach us. If you hope on avoiding regrets in the future, make sure you listen to the advice of those better than you.

What are you doing on a daily basis to make sure you reach the end of your life fulfilled? Let us know by commenting below!
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The Ugly Truth About Success and Why You’re Not Achieving It

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As human beings, most of us have this tendency to overcomplicate things. Maybe you’ve had this experience of trying to find success, but for some reason, it keeps eluding you.  In our pursuit to win, hardly anyone tells us the ugly truth about why most of our dreams seem to evade us. (more…)

I used to be homeless and now run a six figure business with my partner and travel the world. My journey to help those in need has taken me from non-profit director to supporting holistic entrepreneurs have a life of freedom. I run the Thriving Launch Podcast, which features the most influential leaders in the areas of love, spirituality, business, and success. It's my mission to help heart-centered entrepreneurs get their message heard. Learn more on at my website ThrivingLaunch.com (http://www.thrivinglaunch.com/)

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. BASHEER KHAN RAHUMA

    Aug 12, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    very good

  2. Rose Costas

    Nov 11, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    Hi Linda

    Thanks for a great post. When I read your post I felt like you were directly speaking to me. I have been guilty of all of the above. I particularly like #6 because I find it so very hard not to feel like I have failed. I am not afraid to put in the time but whenever there is a set back as I prefer to call it I feel like I am the one who has failed. I am learning to look at it differently and I like the way you emphasize that giving your all couldn’t and shouldn’t be considered failing at all.

    Thanks for another great post.

    • Linda

      Nov 13, 2014 at 10:02 am

      Thanks so much Rose! And I agree it is incredibly hard to change this perspective of not feeling like a failure but I stand by my words: when you’re giving it your best; you’re NOT failing.

      Think of Olympic athletes; we can all imagine the talent, the hard work and the passion that goes into training and making it to the Olympics. For that alone all these athletes are considered winners. But…I’m sure all of them not winning the gold feels like a failure nonetheless. Crazy humans!

      All the best with learning!

  3. Michelle Russell

    Nov 9, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    Great article, Linda! I like the common-sense flavor of all your points. I think there’s a huge tendency to adopt the “fake it ’til you make it” attitude that gets trumpeted by so many (already successful) online businesspeople–which leads to cognitive dissonance because then we’re trying to appear confident while feeling the exact opposite. As a culture, we glorify success . . . but I really like the way you redefine what that really means at the very end of this post. 🙂

  4. www.fromstartuptogrowup.com

    Nov 7, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Thanks Scott! I’m not sure if it’s the Taurus or simply the entrepreneur in you (perhaps even the human being ;)) that is stubborn.

    I really like your addition; it’s very true that burn out is just around the corner and it’s so important to let go, even when it’s only for a little while.

  5. Lynn

    Nov 6, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    Linda, I just love the points you’ve made here in such an entertaining and informative way. You kept my attention the whole way through!

    The first point is incredibly important. Until we can acknowledge reality (but without overlaying too much of our opinion on it), we can’t take constructive steps to improve. While I advocate positive thinking, reality isn’t relentlessly positive!

    Well done.

    • www.fromstartuptogrowup.com

      Nov 7, 2014 at 12:05 pm

      Thanks for that Lynn! And yes…we loooove living in denial but there’s really no possibility for change if we don’t first acknowledge that it is necessary!

    • Linda

      Nov 7, 2014 at 3:56 pm

      Thanks Lynn! Denial is a fantastic place to live (we tell ourselves) but is indeed not the place where any positive change, let alone the desired magic, happens! Positivity comes from being okay with that what seems or feels negative!

  6. Scott

    Nov 6, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    Linda – Great article! I’ve definitely been guilty of all of these at one time or another. I particularly resonate with #5—I’m stubborn to a fault (must be the Taurus in me), and many times believe that I have all the right answers when in fact I’m so mired in what isn’t working that I lose sight of the bigger picture. Having a mentor or coach is essential for times like that.

    One thing I might add to your list is to stop believing that working long hours, everyday, is the answer to success. That can lead to burn out very quickly and accelerate those feelings of failure. Calculated breaks and mini-vacations are absolutely critical to refresh the mind, and they allow you much needed distance in order to gain perspective.

    • Linda

      Nov 7, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      Thanks for that addition Scott! It’s definitely true that working too many hours is one of the big traps entrepreneurs (and many others) fall in. I’m actually really guilty of it myself…

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Life

I Want To Be Happy – Only With You

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I only want to be happy with you.

I want you to find love and not be single for the rest of your life because you’ve told me how much you want to settle down and have a family one-day. I know how much you enjoy the company of an intelligent partner who knows how to have a proper conversation. I want to be that partner.

I want you to have time to talk before breakfast and enjoy a healthy meal with me, so you have loads of energy to live your day with passion. I want you to have time to tell me about your workday and what inspired you. I want to hear about how you’ve empowered others to chase their dreams.

I want you to tell me about how you went for drinks after work and had way too many red wines. To tell me the smallest detail about your day knowing that I will still be fascinated because of how much I care about you.

I want to smile when I get a message from you knowing that you inserted the maximum amount of emoji’s and that I will do my best to compete and add in more with my own reply. I’ll try my best to add in even more crazy emoji’s so that you have to think very carefully about what I am trying to say and what each emoji means. Our emoji game can be like a never-ending puzzle that we spend the rest of our lives trying to solve.

I want us to travel all around the world and experience new cultures together. I want us to go to places that scare the hell out of us and defy the ridiculous terrorism warnings that stop people going to beautiful cities like Paris.

“I don’t want us to live in fear; I want us to live with passion”

As part of that travel dream, I want to whisk you away when you least expect it and take you somewhere that will help you remember me forever, even after I’m gone. I want you to have one special place where you can remember me for a single moment and know that I will always be with you. I want that place to make us both smile when we think of it. I want to make these crazy dreams with you.

I want you to feel like you can do whatever you want and there is nothing holding you back. I want you to feel as free as a bird flying over the sea without a care in the world. I want you to know that I will always move obstacles out of your way so you can feel that sense of freedom.

I want to stay home from work when you have the flu and make you yummy soup, even if it means I get sick with you, and we both have to stay home. I want to take you to the doctor’s office when you’re unwell and conquer any medical issue with you. I want us always to believe in hope if the worst happens.

I want to be there for you no matter what.

When our parents are eventually gone one day, I want us both to never forget them. To never forget the dreams they had for our lives and the difference they made. While they may not have got everything always right, they did their best. We’ve both had struggles with a difficult sibling, but that’s not their fault. For their sake, we will do our best to have a relationship with our siblings even if it’s hard. The result of that struggle is the one thing that would make both of our parents proud and we owe them that at the very least.

I may be still single right now, but one day I will find you and we will live happily ever after. That’s a promise to you and to my future self.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

3 Ways You Can Awaken Your Positive Spirit

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positivity

It’s 5:30 in the morning, your alarm rings. Do you feel like waking up? Heck no! The pillow is your best friend and at this moment, you wouldn’t mind breaking your phone to shut it up. Nonetheless, responsibilities are calling you. You roll out of bed, making it all the way to the bathroom. It takes you one shower and a giant cup of coffee to wake up.

You hit the road. No gas in the car and you are already running late. You stop at the gas station, rush in the door when you realize you forgot your wallet at home. Current mood: the bomb before the explosion approached by the mental breakdown. Can you resonate?

So, here comes the question. What do you do when nothing seems to go right? Do you bow your head down and get into “Why is this happening to me” mindset? Or do you step up and look at the bright side even when it is hard to spot it?

A positive attitude is a heartwarming topic for me because, for many years, I lived on the negative side. Only by experiencing pain and emptiness, did I start to understand the power of positive thinking in life. The best part is, you can make this switch too.

Here are 3 ways you can awaken your positive spirit in any negative moment:

1. Motion Creates Emotion

Imagine your regular day. You wake up, get ready and head to work. Throughout the day, you deal with all kinds of problems and challenges. Deadlines for your big projects are catching up and your mom just called you, crying that her dog is sick and it doesn’t look good. You work your butt off and by 5pm you are in something that I call exhaustion state. But wait, there is a gym hang out tonight at 7 pm. You already promised your buddy John that you will be there so you show up.

You grab your headset and step on the running belt while playing your favorite song or compilation of motivational speeches. Within 15 minutes of motion, you are feeling better. Your pulse is rising and you start running faster. After 30 minutes of motion and intense exercise, the entire exhaustion is gone and you feel great. Suddenly, the day doesn’t seem so bad and you feel pretty good about yourself. How come? Because of motion.

Every motion creates emotion. One of the things I started to do when I felt under the weather was to exercise or jump and say YES for 60 seconds. I put my hands up like a champ who just won the gold cup and smile. Of course, it looks totally crazy so you won’t see me doing it but the change of my mental state happens in an instant.

“I’m not going to get somewhere and say, ‘OK, I’m done.’ Success is never final; I’ll just keep on going. The same way as failure never being fatal. Just keep going. I’m going to the stars and then past them.” – Conor McGregor

2. Positivity Focus

Let’s take a look at this scenario. One day, two big events. The first is good. You finally closed that deal with a very important client which you were focusing on for months. Great success. But then, you receive an email. It’s from the car company where you applied for your dream car. Unfortunately, your credit score is just a few numbers below their required limit so your application is denied. The question is: Which one are you going to focus on?

The art of happiness isn’t in not having problems or not experiencing losses along the way, it’s all about perspective and your ability to focus on the gains. Life balances itself. I can tell you right now, with solid confidence that you won’t always get what you want or when you want it. Life will often welcome you with re-battles. If you can see your glass half full when things don’t go your way, your positive attitude will save you each and every time.

3. Contribution

Okay, now you may be thinking “What’s up with contribution in this article when we talk about the positive attitude?” I get it so let me explain. Contribution has a highly positive impact on your mental health.

When you give and share, more than likely you’ll receive gratitude from the other person. It makes you feel useful, important and grateful as well. Why? Because there comes the time when you’ll recognize all those things you are taking for granted while others are dying to have or experience them. That’s why we tend to feel more grateful when we contribute.

Gratitude activates positive emotions and directs your focus on the good things. You give and receive at the same time. I call this a double victory.

A positive attitude is both, a corny and classy topic. It becomes corny since we hear it all the time but it stays classy because it always works and definitely saves you from living in misery. Even when you don’t always get what you want, with a positive spirit it will feel like you do.

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa

How do you stay upbeat in moments where nothing seems to be going your way? Please let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

3 Things to Pay Attention to When Building Your Own Personal Brand

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building a brand

Who are you? Not your name or your business or even what your ethics are, but who are you in the sense of what people see when they look at you? Does your name and your business bring happiness to the minds of people who hear it? Does it bring anger? Does it bring peace and joy? Does it bring sadness?

How people feel when they think of you is your personal brand. We all know who Gary Vaynerchuk, Tony Robbins, and Robert Kiyosaki are. These people have built huge reputations for themselves. We also know who Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, and Adolf Hitler are. These people have also build reputations for themselves; very different reputations than the first names I listed.

When you read these names, a different feeling comes to mind, so below are 3 ways on how to evoke positive emotions when people hear your name:

1. Envoke the senses

First lets understand what a brand is. A brand is a product or service that invokes a feeling or emotion. Building a brand is all about invoking the senses of your Customers, you don’t want people to think of your brand and only think of the logo. We want people to have a scent that reminds them of you, a sight like a logo, and a feel that reminds them of not only your brand, but of you as well.

When people think of your company, what do you want them to think of? What emotion do you want to inspire in your customer base, and what can help you inspire that emotion? When creating your personal brand, you want to invoke all five senses of your target audience. If you own a coffee shop, when people walk in you want them to smell coffee, their mouth to water when they think of fresh pastries, their ears to perk up when they hear the beans being ground up.

“I force people to have coffee with me, just because I don’t trust that a friendship can be maintained without any other senses besides a computer or cellphone screen.” – John Cusack

To create your brand you can’t only think about what you want associated with your business, but also what you don’t want associated with it. Think back to the coffee instead of smelling coffee and pastries, how would you feel about walking in and smelling bleach? Would you rather go to the first coffee shop or the second one?

Think of ways to create a positive experience when a customer walks in by bringing a scent to people, or an interesting sight as they walk through the door. These things will all eventually become part of your brand in the sense that when people think of them, they will think of you.

2. Attractive marketing

Marketing is an amazing way to help boost your company’s sales. But marketing can also hurt your business if it isn’t done correctly. Have you ever given someone your email or phone number and had him or her relentlessly spam you trying to get your business? When someone does that, do you want to use their service, or do you want to throw your phone at the wall every time they message you? When building a brand you also want to think of ways to make your business, and marketing plans more attractive.  

This goes back to what you want people to think of when they think of your brand. Small things can go a long way in creating an attractive image for you and your company. Attractive marketing doesn’t stop at just ads, and endorsement. Thinking of ways to portray yourself in a positive light will help as well. It’s natural to think a person would be doing business with a company, but each customer is doing business with you directly. Now think back to a time you were in a store and had terrible customer service. How likely are you to go back to that store?

Even if that company employs thousands of people, the one bad experience you had with one employee could actually prevent you from going back. People are more likely to go somewhere they think of in a positive light, some place that reminds them of a good experience. A personal brand is not only a brand for your company or product, but it is also a way of branding yourself. The goal of marketing and creating a personal brand should be, to get your customer base to feel like they know you personally.

3. Build with social media

Social media is a great way to get your clients to feel like they know you personally. When a client feels like they know you, like you, and can trust you, they are more likely to buy whatever you are selling. People buy based off of person, product and price. So having that personal relationship with a client can go a long way, especially if they don’t know a lot about the product or price. There are tons of social media platforms to reach your customer base, but what platform gives the most personal, and honest form of your business?

One of the most surprising ways to build fans of your brand is podcasts. A podcast lets your audience hear your voice and speaking your opinions exactly how you meant them to be said. The more a person feels like they know you, the more likely they are to feel like they can trust you, your recommendations on products, and investments.

“Social media is not just an activity; it is an investment of valuable time and resources. Surround yourself with people who not just support you and stay with you, but inform your thinking about ways to WOW your online presence” – Sean Gardner

Unlike most social media platforms, podcasts don’t require someone to scroll through an endless feed, or pay attention to their phone or computer. For a podcast all you have to do is throw on a playlist and listen away while you are driving, cleaning, or just doing day-to-day tasks. The main goal is once you have a playlist of podcasts, someone only needs to hear one, let the playlist go, and suddenly be hooked on your opinions and advice.

You have the power to evoke emotions and feelings from people. In every moment of your life you are building your personal brand. Every time you interact with people and every thing you say makes up how people think and feel about both you and your products/services. When it comes to building your brand, the opportunities are endless but what I stated above is the perfect place to begin that journey. Always remember to create a brand to help your company speak for itself.

How do you make sure people understand who you are and follow you? Let us know by commenting below!
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Life

15 Ways to Avoid Regret at the End of Your Life

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Most people live their lives in regret. If you have ever had the misfortune of experiencing regret, it is not a nice thing to experience. You must do the things you need to do to avoid regrets in your life.

At the point when individuals think back on their lives, what are the most widely recognized regrets they have? That is a significant inquiry we have to stop and ask all the more regularly. A few people think back and say the greatest regret they had was to not have kids. Others think back and say their greatest regret was in regards to lost time.

Whatever the case, it’s critical to take a look at how you are carrying on with your life and consider how you can avoid regrets.

Here are 15 ways to avoid regrets later on in your life:

1. Don’t follow someone else’s dreams

So many of us are living other people’s dreams such as our parents, guardians and other authoritative figures in our lives. We all have dreams and should endeavor to follow those dreams to the latter irrespective of what others may think. You can’t please everyone and should look to only please yourself and do what is right for you.

2. Stop taking your loved ones for granted

Your children won’t be children forever and will grow up to become adults and not have time for you as much. They may never even call and your parents will not be parents forever, they will leave you someday. So make sure you endeavor to spend every waking moment with them and appreciate them while you still have the opportunity to do so.

3. Stop pretending to be someone else

Imitation is suicide. When we pretend to be someone we are not, we are spending so much time not being who we are and in that situation, we are spending a whole lot of time not living. You are the person you know very well and if you spend your time living someone else’s life you will only end up being a copycat instead of being the very best you could be as well as being number one at it.

The most inspiring people in the world are true to themselves and when you are true to yourself, you will be at ease. This tends to attract like-minded people into your life which help you live a more fulfilling life.

4. Don’t burn all your bridges

Life is a journey of ups and downs, and you will have to be kind to people on your way up because you will meet them on your way down. Don’t burn the bridges of your past as you may need them later in life.

5. Always tell the truth

Lies destroy families and relationships. When you tell a lie you will have to back that lie with another and another until you have a whole tangled web of lies that cannot be remedied even if you want to. True relationships have their foundation in the truth and lasts forever. Always endeavour to tell the truth in every situation as telling a lie can lead to future regrets.

6. Live in the moment

Have you ever noticed that when you were a kid time seemed to be really slow and now that you are an adult, time moves really fast? That is because as kids, we always lived in the moment and as adults, we are always thinking of our next scheme, idea or business that time just seems to fly past us. Take your time to experience the now as you may regret it later in the future when you look into the mirror and ask where all the time went.

“All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.” – Byron Katie

7. Don’t give up on true love

This is one of the biggest areas of regret for most people as they reject love because of fear, work or other excuses they give themselves. When you happen to find true and real love, cherish and nurture it well so that you don’t end up regretting it in the future.

8. Make others happy

The mark of a true existence is in the ability to make other people’s lives better and easier. Strive to make people happy and you will be happy yourself. A mid-life crisis is mainly made up of regrets and one way to alleviate this regret is to find a way to make people’s lives better. Do something good for someone such as engaging in volunteer work. In the end, it is not about your possessions but how many lives you touched.

9. Stand up for yourself

Many adults have always regretted not standing up for themselves when they had the opportunity to do so. Do not let people take you or any other person for that matter for granted. When I resumed secondary school there was this kid who tried to bully me. I warned him on many occasions to leave me alone and when he refused I had to punch him in the face.

He punched me back but never disturbed me again. Not that I am advocating violence but when someone tries to take advantage of you, fight back. Then they will know that you cannot be toiled with.

10. Take care of your health

It cannot be emphasized enough that health is wealth. You can have all the money in the world but without your health, it is nothing. Make sure you have a regular check-up and exercise and eat right.

11. Experience more

This is one of the greatest regrets of the dying because they wished they had experienced more out of life. Travel, go out with friends, see places and experience life because that’s what we are supposed to do while being alive, live.

12. Listen more

Surely, we all have lots to say but it is better when we listen. Listen to your spouse, listen to your kids and listen to your friends instead of talking all the time. Listen to the advice of your doctors and parents, family members and well wishers.

13. Don’t fear failure

Dare. Don’t be afraid to fail and take risks. On their death beds, most people always regret not taking chances on life and doing what they wanted to do and follow their dreams.

Don’t fear failure. Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” Bruce Lee

14. Don’t wait

There is no time again, if you have a dream, chase it. If there’s someone you like, let them know because you will always come second to someone who has taken the initiative to do something with their lives.

15. Talk to an elderly person

Old people regret lots of things and talking to them, they will tell you what to do and what not to do. Unfortunately, most of us see our old people as outdated and think that old people have nothing to teach us. If you hope on avoiding regrets in the future, make sure you listen to the advice of those better than you.

What are you doing on a daily basis to make sure you reach the end of your life fulfilled? Let us know by commenting below!
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