Life

Dare To Be DIFFERENT – 4 Insights To Start Living

Published

9 years ago

Nov 7, 2013

Sebastian

I’m going to be honest with you. This is real talk. Have you ever noticed how miserable people seem to be? How often do people whine and complain about their lives?

It seems like it’s the norm to feel like nothing is ever enough. The reason is simple. It all comes down to following the crowd. Most people are prisoners to the opinions of others. People are too scared to be themselves.

The moment that you stop caring what others think about you will become the moment that you’re free. This realization has led me to accomplish what I thought would never be possible.

And doing whatever it is that makes you happy is badass so I suggest you start working on this.

Lesson 1 – Most people are insecure

Insecure trait A big reason why people don’t dare to do something different is because they care what others are going to think. No one cares!

People are way too insecure about their own lives to even pay attention to what you are doing. Do you want proof?

Do you really care what the people around you are doing? If you see someone fall on the ground, you might laugh for a minute but you will forget it completely by the end of the day.

People are too concerned about their own lives. Stop caring about others. They don’t care about you!

Lesson 2 – Body Language

body language trait This one is huge to build confidence. This is a special secret of mine so don’t share it with your entire neighborhood. Listen very carefully.

The mind cannot feel a certain way if the body is feeling another way. When your mind is nervous and you’re feeling anxious, your body WILL tense up.

Next time you’re worried, notice the tension in your muscles. What do I do?

When I feel that my anxiety is increasing, I will start paying attention to every inch of my body. I will close my eyes and consciously start relaxing each part of my body. Carefully controlling your breathing while doing this helps a ton as well.

I will then position my body in the most confident way possible. Shoulders back. Chest up. Chin up. I might even smile.

I do this every time I have a speech or when I’m about to talk to a girl or playing the guitar or even when I’m riding my motorcycle. I do this all day long honestly.

The mind will calm down after you calm your body down. So stop caring about your mind. Just pay attention to your body.

Lesson 3 – Become the 5 percent

be-the-5 percent-trait It is fair to say that the extraordinary people that change the game and do something great are 5% of the population. The reason why these people accomplished their goals is because they dared to do something different.

Remember this simple reality. If you do what 95% of the world is doing, then you WILL end up where 95% of the world is going to end up.

This is a very sad place to end up. Just notice the amount of marriages ending in divorce or the amount of people dealing with depression and anxiety. You don’t want to end up there.

Lesson 4 – People will admire you

Admire trait Embrace being different. You might think that it’s hard because you wonder what people might think about you. People will envy you for having the balls to do something different.

People might mock you and criticize you. I’ve had plenty of that. But the reality is that deep inside they will be jealous about you. They will wish they also dared to be different.

So don’t be afraid of standing out of the crowd. It’s so much more fun that way.

birds dare to be different

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Sebastian

Sebastian is the mastermind behind Shots Of Insight. In his own words: "Dare to be DIFFERENT - It's a lot more fun that way. Life is way too short to settle for a boring life." Head over to his site and take a shot every single Friday morning.

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.