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Are You Tired of Living with Regret? Here are 5 Fixes That Work

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Live Life with no more regrets smile and change your life with inspiration

Regret is something everyone experiences at one point or another. It would be impossible to go through life without experiencing any regret at all.

But sometimes, we put ourselves in positions where regret is almost guaranteed. Where we could have avoided the regret, but for whatever reason, we chose not to.

But the good news is that you don’t have to live that way. You can actively work towards removing regret from your life.

The following are a few signs, and accompanying fixes, that you may be setting yourself up for a regretful life.

 

How To Remove Regret From Your Life

 

Fix #1  Stop Making Yourself a Victim

The Problem: You think that you’re at the mercy of the world, that you have no power over the outcome of your life. Any success you find is simply a coincidence and any failure you meet is beyond your control.

But if you’re not in control, who is?

The Fix: Realize you’re not a victim in life. You’re in the driver’s seat. You’re in control. No one has command over your life more than you do. Use that power you have, to create a life that you’re excited about. A life that you love.

You have the ability to make things happen in your life. Once you make this mindset shift, everything else becomes easier.

 

Fix #2 Stop Holding Back Your Best Effort

The Problem: Your hesitant, you’re fearful, and you’re not giving 100% of your effort. Maybe you’re afraid of failing. Or maybe you’re afraid of success.

Whatever the reason, you’re just not giving it all you’ve got. And that’s a problem because giving a lackluster effort could be the difference between you living the life you dream of, and living a nightmare.

The Fix: Don’t be afraid to go all in. You have to believe that your effort won’t go unnoticed and that success and happiness are direct byproducts of you giving it all you’ve got.

You’ll never regret giving something the maximum amount of effort.

 

Fix #3 Start Making Decisions for Yourself, Not for Others

The Problem: Your Father picked your career, your mother picked your spouse, and now your spouse is deciding everything else.

You’re absolutely setting yourself up for a regretful life if you let everyone around you make decisions for you. They can’t get inside your head, so they don’t know what you really want.

And even if they do know, they’re judgment is so clouded by their own wants and desires that your needs end up taking a back seat.

The Fix: Start making your own decisions. Make the decisions that are right for you, not the decisions that other people think are right for you. No one knows you better than you.

You may hurt some feelings, you may even lose some relationships, but neither of those are as important as you living the life you really want to live.

 

no regrets just lessons learned quote

 

Fix #4 Stop Being Full of Excuses

The Problem: You always have a reason why you couldn’t do something, either because the time wasn’t right, or you had something else to do. But here’s the problem, excuses are probably the number one reason people live with regret.

Excuses suck because they stop you doing what you want to, achieving your goals, and creating a life worth living, even though you’re fully capable.

The Fix: Stop with the excuses. Get really clear about what you want and why you want it. Then the next time an excuse tries to creep it’s way in, ask yourself, “If this excuse more important than my goals in life?” Chances are, it’s not.

 

Fix #5 Start Listening to Your Heart

The Problem: You know exactly what your heart is guiding you towards, but you’re afraid to follow it. You’re afraid that people may criticize you. You’re afraid that you may fail. You’re afraid that you may be judged.

But looking at the bigger picture, what’s more important? Are you willing to ignore your heart, your passions, and your biggest dreams because of what other people might say?

The Fix: Realize that everyone is going to judge you, so you might as well let them judge while you do something you love. Listen to your heart, follow your passions, and let the naysayers talk all they want.

 

Tony Robinson runs DoReallyGood.com, which is a site that shows you how to utilize willpower, habits, systems and automation so you can create lasting change that leads to the achievement of your most important goals. You can pick up a free copy of his ebook "Goal Domination: The 5 Step Game Plan to Setting and Achieving Your Goals" by clicking here.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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