Life

7 Ludicrous Lies You Keep Telling Yourself

Published

7 years ago

Aug 12, 2014

There are so many lies that society ingrained inside of you, that you adopted as you own. From your parents to your teachers, these lies snuck into your life, without you even realizing it.

Now it’s time to uncover them to achieve the success you truly deserve.

Here are 7 ludicrous lies you tell yourself that keep you away from success.

1. I shouldn’t fail

The most successful people fail and they fail often. If you want to speed up your path to success, take goal-aligned actions that are above what you think you’re capable of every single day.

Failing involves trying and moving out of your comfort zone. If you avoid the risk of failing, you are setting yourself up for failure by default.

Remember:

“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.” ~ Eloise Ristad

2. I shouldn’t be scared

We live in a society that tells us, “you must overcome your fears and radically eliminate them”. This makes us thrive towards an unrealistic state that we may never achieve.

Fear will only disappear when you do nothing, try nothing, be nothing.

It disappears when you stay within your comfort zone and avoid taking any kind of risks – but for that, you pay the price of a boring life.

The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is not their degree of fear – but how they respond to it.

As Stephen Pressfield famously wrote in the ‘War of Art’:

Stephen Pressfield Picture Quote

(“The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.” ~Steven Pressfield)

Accept your fears and use it as a catapult for progress by doing what needs to get done.

3. I should be able to do it alone

Successful people create an environment that supports their goals and surrounds themselves with the right people.

You don’t have to do it alone and find all the answers yourself. A friend of mine once said:

“The more you ask, the more you can get.”

If asking makes you feel uncomfortable, become a giver. A person that gives feels no discomfort in asking, they see it as a mutual exchange of love.

“The strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it. ~ Rona Barret (Retweet this)

4. My circumstances are my problem

People view the problems that they encounter external to themselves. They blame others for what is happening or not happening. They blame the economy, the environment or anything else they can find.

Life is a projection and your problems are mere delusions of your thinking. In the philosopher’s notes on ‘Love what is’ by Byron Katie, there is a great little story that goes like this:

Imagine you’re in the cinema watching a movie. When the movie starts, you notice some smudge on the screen. So, you get up and try to wipe it off – but it doesn’t go away. You try harder and harder, but nothing changes. You get frustrated and annoyed and can’t enjoy the movie anymore.

The problem was never the screen but rather the projector that had smudge on its lens. Your mind is the projector and your life the movie screen. If you see smudge on the screen , you don’t need to wipe down the screen – but the projector that projects it.

Don’t go through life thinking you need to change the “movie screen” – your life – instead change the projector by changing the way you think.

5. I shouldn’t struggle

Your struggles are not your problem – your response to them is. Some say the word struggle derived from Proto-Germanic “strūkōną” – “to be stiff”. When you struggle, you don’t flow with life, accept, and embrace life as it comes.

What if you see your struggles as gifts that give you the optimal opportunities to grow, develop and mature? Eliminate the idea of struggles and problems: Life either presents itself as “blissful experiences or as blissful opportunities to learn”.

“Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought.“ ~ Napoleon Hill

6. I just need to fix my weaknesses

Your areas of strength offer the biggest room for personal growth. Instead of wasting your time fixing weaknesses, going from terrible to mediocre, spend your time and energy to develop excellence. This can only be achieved by focusing on your natural talents and developing them into strengths.

Successful people are not well-rounded,instead they capitalize on their strengths and manage around their weaknesses. By fixing your weaknesses, you ultimately aim for average. It’s not the path to glory.

Play to win instead of play not to lose.

“Emphasize strengths, don’t fix weaknesses.” ~ Tim Ferriss

7. I need to have the end in mind

Stephen Covey talked about beginning with the end in mind, having a clear focus on where you are heading. But constant thinking about your goals means being mentally in the future, disengaged from the current moment.

Being mindfully present in the now with focused attention on the task, is the key ingredient for high performance.

In his book ‘Overachievement’, psychologist John Eliot explains that overachievers act in the “trusting mindset”, being total engaged in what they are doing, without thought.

To live your best life, be present and mentally engaged in the now. Success starts in this very moment, with the choices you make right now.

Yes, keep the end in my mind. Plan, dream and visualize – but have the “present moment” more present in mind. Will Smith was right when he said:

Will Smith Quote

Which lie are you telling yourself? Let me know in the comments below!

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maxine schiffmann

Maxine runs the The Leader of Tomorrow, a personal blog that is dedicated to help you become more successful by making the most of yourself and mastering your mind. If you want to know how to use your full potential - visit her at www.theleaderoftomorrow.com for more great content.

15 Comments

sacha
Aug 18, 2015 at 10:55 am
What an awesome post. Will be sharing. I needed to read this to co firm. That when we fail we are just setting ourselves up for success. (If we learn from our mistakes.)
Reply
Cory
May 21, 2015 at 6:09 pm
Man, this hit me and i am guilty of all and have been, it seems the more i gave into these lies the deeper my hole got until it got so deep I had another issue other than my lies. Finding direction is difficult and cannot be done alone. I have been so low, I think I am becoming better mainly through my realization of me rather than my issues. Last year was the worst year of my life, i was ready to just end everything, I was depressed and blamed my job so I quit only to realize it was not my job it was just me and not knowing what to do or where to go. Then the love of my life just stopped communicating with me and started talking to other guys later on revealing me quitting my job was why. I then really went low as I had invested my entire being int his person which I now realize was wrong. I just went down and down until one night I just yelled at God and said screw itI am gong to just end myself only to realize I could not even do that so I told my self I am such a coward and chump. But then I had a conversation with a a former colleague who just told me straight out what my problem was which was me. Not loving myself, not caring for myself, caring for everything and everyone around me but never me. I was making everyone and everything the center of my life rather me being he center of my own life. I am still on the journey but this year seems to be going better than last. I set a goal to have a car by last Thanksgiving 2014 in August 2014 and i got it. It is not the flashiest car by a longshot but it is my car, that gave me some courage to know that I could reach my goals by any means neccesary, right now I have a goal to reach over the summer and I believe I will and I can. Life is a journey but everyone has a different type of journey which is what I am realizing, you have to take what you get and build with it. I always fussed about how life was not fair and I was born into a failing situation already and attributed that to why I was 32 and had nothing. But it was not that it was because i bypassed so many oppotunities due to fear, I responded to fear, insecurities, disadvantages in a way that hurt me and what I could do. all I can say today is no more! Though I say that knowing I may mess up again but I say no more to the wrong responses anymore not because I will nto respond wrong again but so I can be reminded not to.
Reply
Devorah
Dec 31, 2014 at 12:58 pm
Amazing! Loved this article! Brings together so much of what I “preach” for living a calmer life.
Reply
Allegra Burton
Nov 21, 2014 at 12:09 am
What a great article that challenges many of our well-held beliefs. Thanks for sharing!
Reply
Alejandro Piñero-Delgado
Oct 10, 2014 at 5:17 pm
I´m sure that must people see themselves with some of this lies. I actually saw myself with the fourth and fifth lie. I always blame others for my troubles and constantly had a bad temper for all my failures. Nevertheless I´m trying to change my way of thinking and give me the opportunity to accept my life as it is and leave all the bad behind.
Alejandro
Reply
inspirepeace
Sep 21, 2014 at 8:13 pm
Veeeery interesting Maxine! Some amazing points here that I have never thought about before.
Thank you for this.
Lewis
Reply
James Simwanza
Aug 14, 2014 at 10:19 am
this post is just so great,point number strikes it even harder,it is what we tell ours selves that matters the most.”He who thinks he cant and he who thinks he can,are both usually right”Henry Ford
Reply
- Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow
  Aug 15, 2014 at 5:06 pm
  Hey James, thanks a lot! Such a great quote by Henry Ford – it is so true!
  Reply
Dinesh Tavasalkar
Aug 13, 2014 at 5:32 pm
Wow this is an amazing inspiring post I have read after a long time. All seven lies are something
we keep telling ourselves at some point or other. Needless to say you have clearly explained all the points.
Reply
Granville Louw
Aug 13, 2014 at 1:39 pm
I. LOVE. THIS. So wonderfully written and full of wisdom.
These are all things I’ve been working on a lot lately, and just when I think I’ve got one down, I notice myself feeling small, limited and unworthy again, and I realize it’s because I’m believing one of my many lies.
It takes a lot of vigilance and self-awareness to notice the lies and to have the presence of mind to challenge them. Sometimes it just seems so much easier to accept them…BUT what a sad, lonely and confined life that would be. Some are harder to stop believing than others — I’ve done a pretty good job of brainwashing myself in some respects — but I keep trying.
Thank you for putting it out in such a positive, optimistic way! I sense that you have journeyed, like we all have, to this realization. Sometimes I believe that our inner critic builds up a protective layer around us by telling us negative things BEFORE the inevitable outsiders will.
Be happy, love yourself, know that you deserve the best of everything, and treat yourself well! These are the lessons I’ve learned.
Reply
- Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow
  Aug 15, 2014 at 5:13 pm
  Hey,
  Merci!
  lt would definitely be easier to simply accept some of these lies – especially the ‘my circumstances are my problem’ lie but it would indeed be a dissatisfying life!
  Great lessons that you’ve learned! For me, loving yourself is also key to being happy!
  Thanks a lot for your comment!
  Maxine
  Reply
Liv
Aug 12, 2014 at 6:40 pm
Along with the lies people often scare themselves away from starting anything new. Based of fear of failure and sometimes fear of success. Most never reach their full potential because they are afraid to start. Some think they are not capable,but most are capable but will never know because they were to afraid to begin.
Reply
- JALAL KHAN
  Aug 13, 2014 at 11:27 am
  A good article.
  Must read for any one who wants to stretch and go beyond comfort zone to succeed.
  Reply
- Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow
  Aug 15, 2014 at 5:14 pm
  Hey Liv,
  so true and also sad that most people don’t even give things a try and start. It’s amazing what people are capaple of if they just get going and keep pushing forward.
  Thanks for sharing!
  Maxine
  Reply
  - ian
    Sep 18, 2014 at 6:13 pm
    Not sure to say this I ,am at my lowest even tried sucide. Nobody knows but I,am trying yet again but A small voice in my head is saying do not do this its not going to work. You see I went to the uk with the intention of earing a living am home again feel like I failed.Have An idea for a business Am currently working on it doing the relevant courses to get their.Hope this works for me
    Reply

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4 Ways to Get Mentally and Emotionally Fit

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Life

Effects of Weather on Your Study Experience

Published

5 days ago

Feb 18, 2021

Phil Collins

Effects of Weather on Your Study Experience

You are sound asleep when your alarm startles you from your sweet sleep. While you wake up, stretching and rubbing your eyes, you peep through your room’s window. It’s snowing or even raining. And you have to take a 20-minute walk to your class. You feel disgusted by the journey ahead of you and wonder whether it’s even worth it going to class.

Research done by the University of California, Los Angeles, shows that hot weather damages a student’s learning ability. Every temperature increase by one degree (°F) decreases student performance by 1% a year. Students can, however, use write my essay for me services to get additional help with their essays and other assignments.

Weather and Student Motivation

Studies show that weather correlates with one’s motivation level and mood. It makes sense if you face these difficulties every day you wake up throughout your college career. Who doesn’t want the motivation of going to school along the beach and if it is 85 degrees?

Most international students tend to find challenges in adjusting to the climate of their new destination of study. For instance, a Vietnamese student may find it challenging to adapt to Minnesota’s harsh winters since Vietnam experiences a tropical climate. The same applies to a Scandinavian familiar with dry weather, who will find it difficult to adjust to Indonesia’s year-round humidity.

Research shows that it is not only rising temperatures that affect the academic success of students. Spring, summer, shine, rain, cold, hot – they can all impact someone’s college practice, studies, or otherwise.

For international students, lack of knowledge on dressing during drier climates or winter only causes frustration. This frustration wrecks one’s inspiration and mood. Studies have proven that high levels of humidity can lead to college students’ loss of focus and increase sleepiness. Another study found that high humidity causes a drop in joy, vigor, and affection.

Yet, there are reports of less anxiety and skepticism with more sunshine, feeling less pessimistic about life. Childcare professionals and teachers report that children are louder than usual due to the dark, dreary weather.

They have also said that students have a sense of depression or gloom. For most teachers, this could be a dreadful experience that they might not quantify. They’re sure that particular weather causes the worst behavior in many students – for which they are correct.

Many students might come to school cold or wet during winter, causing a lack of concentration and frustration. Together with a lack of regular exercise that enables learners to generate some energy, tensions could boil.

Extreme Weather Affects Learning

Apart from the seasonal bad weather that affects students, some severe weather episodes shake classroom learning. If you walk into a classroom full of learners when thunder strikes, you will notice that everyone will stop and then converse about the noise.

It takes some minutes, and then when it strikes again, the process recurs. When a student looks out through the window and sees rain or the first snowfall of that season, it can cause every student in that classroom to peep out the window. This whole bad weather thing is very disruptive.

Also, winter blues affect many people. A diagnosable syndrome, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) associates with a lack of sunlight exposure during winter. There are many theories on light therapy helping SAD patients, which evidence is hard to get. Physicians have ideas on treating SAD patients and use antidepressants for various patients.

For international students, carrying out more research on climate and climate changes throughout the year is a helpful and significant start. Speaking to former students or seniors from similar home countries will be perfect.

They would offer you first-hand information on their personal experience on how to adapt to the host country from your home country. Also, they could provide a valuable tip on how you can best adapt to such an environment.

Final Thoughts

Be aware that despite the climate’s significant effect on your experience while in college, it should not decide the college you will attend and the time to do so. Keep in mind other important concerns such as graduation rates, access to professors, and teaching quality whenever you choose your college to study abroad.