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7 Ludicrous Lies You Keep Telling Yourself

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There are so many lies that society ingrained inside of you, that you adopted as you own. From your parents to your teachers, these lies snuck into your life, without you even realizing it.

Now it’s time to uncover them to achieve the success you truly deserve.

Here are 7 ludicrous lies you tell yourself that keep you away from success.

 

1. I shouldn’t fail

The most successful people fail and they fail often. If you want to speed up your path to success, take goal-aligned actions that are above what you think you’re capable of every single day.

Failing involves trying and moving out of your comfort zone.  If you avoid the risk of failing, you are setting yourself up for failure by default.

Remember:

“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.” ~ Eloise Ristad

 

2. I shouldn’t be scared

We live in a society that tells us, “you must overcome your fears and radically eliminate them”. This makes us thrive towards an unrealistic state that we may never achieve.

Fear will only disappear when you do nothing, try nothing, be nothing.

It disappears when you stay within your comfort zone and avoid taking any kind of risks – but for that, you pay the price of a boring life.

The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is not their degree of fear – but how they respond to it.

As Stephen Pressfield famously wrote in the ‘War of Art’:

Stephen Pressfield Picture Quote

 (“The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.”   ~Steven Pressfield)

Accept your fears and use it as a catapult for progress by doing what needs to get done.

 

3. I should be able to do it alone

Successful people create an environment that supports their goals and surrounds themselves with the right people.

You don’t have to do it alone and find all the answers yourself.  A friend of mine once said:

“The more you ask, the more you can get.”

If asking makes you feel uncomfortable, become a giver. A person that gives feels no discomfort in asking, they see it as a mutual exchange of love.

“The strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it.  ~ Rona Barret  (Retweet this)

 

4. My circumstances are my problem

People view the problems that they encounter external to themselves. They blame others for what is happening or not happening. They blame the economy, the environment or anything else they can find.

Life is a projection and your problems are mere delusions of your thinking. In the philosopher’s notes on ‘Love what is’ by Byron Katie, there is a great little story that goes like this:

Imagine you’re in the cinema watching a movie. When the movie starts, you notice some smudge on the screen. So, you get up and try to wipe it off – but it doesn’t go away. You try harder and harder, but nothing changes. You get frustrated and annoyed and can’t enjoy the movie anymore.

The problem was never the screen but rather the projector that had smudge on its lens. Your mind is the projector and your life the movie screen. If you see smudge on the screen , you don’t need to wipe down the screen – but the projector that projects it.

Don’t go through life thinking you need to change the “movie screen” – your life – instead change the projector by changing the way you think.

 

5. I shouldn’t struggle

Your struggles are not your problem – your response to them is.  Some say the word struggle derived from  Proto-Germanic “strūkōną” – “to be stiff”. When you struggle, you don’t flow with life, accept, and embrace life as it comes.

What if you see your struggles as gifts that give you the optimal opportunities to grow, develop and mature? Eliminate the idea of struggles and problems: Life either presents itself as “blissful experiences or as blissful opportunities to learn”.

“Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought.“ ~ Napoleon Hill

 

6. I just need to fix my weaknesses

Your areas of strength offer the biggest room for personal growth. Instead of wasting your time fixing weaknesses, going from terrible to mediocre, spend your time and energy to develop excellence. This can only be achieved by focusing on your natural talents and developing them into strengths.

Successful people are not well-rounded,instead they capitalize on their strengths and manage around their weaknesses. By fixing your weaknesses, you ultimately aim for average. It’s not the path to glory.

Play to win instead of play not to lose.

“Emphasize strengths, don’t fix weaknesses.” ~ Tim Ferriss

 

7. I need to have the end in mind

Stephen Covey talked about beginning with the end in mind, having a clear focus on where you are heading. But constant thinking about your goals means being mentally in the future, disengaged from the current moment.

Being mindfully present in the now with focused attention on the task, is the key ingredient for high performance.

In his book ‘Overachievement’, psychologist John Eliot explains that overachievers act in the “trusting mindset”, being total engaged in what they are doing, without thought.

To live your best life, be present and mentally engaged in the now.  Success starts in this very moment, with the choices you make right now.

Yes, keep the end in my mind. Plan, dream and visualize – but have the “present moment” more present in mind. Will Smith was right when he said:

Will Smith Quote

Which lie are you telling yourself? Let me know in the comments below!

Maxine runs the The Leader of Tomorrow, a personal blog that is dedicated to help you become more successful by making the most of yourself and mastering your mind. If you want to know how to use your full potential - visit her at www.theleaderoftomorrow.com for more great content.

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15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. sacha

    Aug 18, 2015 at 10:55 am

    What an awesome post. Will be sharing. I needed to read this to co firm. That when we fail we are just setting ourselves up for success. (If we learn from our mistakes.)

  2. Cory

    May 21, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Man, this hit me and i am guilty of all and have been, it seems the more i gave into these lies the deeper my hole got until it got so deep I had another issue other than my lies. Finding direction is difficult and cannot be done alone. I have been so low, I think I am becoming better mainly through my realization of me rather than my issues. Last year was the worst year of my life, i was ready to just end everything, I was depressed and blamed my job so I quit only to realize it was not my job it was just me and not knowing what to do or where to go. Then the love of my life just stopped communicating with me and started talking to other guys later on revealing me quitting my job was why. I then really went low as I had invested my entire being int his person which I now realize was wrong. I just went down and down until one night I just yelled at God and said screw itI am gong to just end myself only to realize I could not even do that so I told my self I am such a coward and chump. But then I had a conversation with a a former colleague who just told me straight out what my problem was which was me. Not loving myself, not caring for myself, caring for everything and everyone around me but never me. I was making everyone and everything the center of my life rather me being he center of my own life. I am still on the journey but this year seems to be going better than last. I set a goal to have a car by last Thanksgiving 2014 in August 2014 and i got it. It is not the flashiest car by a longshot but it is my car, that gave me some courage to know that I could reach my goals by any means neccesary, right now I have a goal to reach over the summer and I believe I will and I can. Life is a journey but everyone has a different type of journey which is what I am realizing, you have to take what you get and build with it. I always fussed about how life was not fair and I was born into a failing situation already and attributed that to why I was 32 and had nothing. But it was not that it was because i bypassed so many oppotunities due to fear, I responded to fear, insecurities, disadvantages in a way that hurt me and what I could do. all I can say today is no more! Though I say that knowing I may mess up again but I say no more to the wrong responses anymore not because I will nto respond wrong again but so I can be reminded not to.

  3. Devorah

    Dec 31, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Amazing! Loved this article! Brings together so much of what I “preach” for living a calmer life.

  4. Allegra Burton

    Nov 21, 2014 at 12:09 am

    What a great article that challenges many of our well-held beliefs. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Alejandro Piñero-Delgado

    Oct 10, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    I´m sure that must people see themselves with some of this lies. I actually saw myself with the fourth and fifth lie. I always blame others for my troubles and constantly had a bad temper for all my failures. Nevertheless I´m trying to change my way of thinking and give me the opportunity to accept my life as it is and leave all the bad behind.

    Alejandro

  6. inspirepeace

    Sep 21, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    Veeeery interesting Maxine! Some amazing points here that I have never thought about before.

    Thank you for this.

    Lewis

  7. James Simwanza

    Aug 14, 2014 at 10:19 am

    this post is just so great,point number strikes it even harder,it is what we tell ours selves that matters the most.”He who thinks he cant and he who thinks he can,are both usually right”Henry Ford

  8. Dinesh Tavasalkar

    Aug 13, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    Wow this is an amazing inspiring post I have read after a long time. All seven lies are something
    we keep telling ourselves at some point or other. Needless to say you have clearly explained all the points.

  9. Granville Louw

    Aug 13, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    I. LOVE. THIS. So wonderfully written and full of wisdom.
    These are all things I’ve been working on a lot lately, and just when I think I’ve got one down, I notice myself feeling small, limited and unworthy again, and I realize it’s because I’m believing one of my many lies.

    It takes a lot of vigilance and self-awareness to notice the lies and to have the presence of mind to challenge them. Sometimes it just seems so much easier to accept them…BUT what a sad, lonely and confined life that would be. Some are harder to stop believing than others — I’ve done a pretty good job of brainwashing myself in some respects — but I keep trying.

    Thank you for putting it out in such a positive, optimistic way! I sense that you have journeyed, like we all have, to this realization. Sometimes I believe that our inner critic builds up a protective layer around us by telling us negative things BEFORE the inevitable outsiders will.

    Be happy, love yourself, know that you deserve the best of everything, and treat yourself well! These are the lessons I’ve learned.

    • Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow

      Aug 15, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      Hey,
      Merci!

      lt would definitely be easier to simply accept some of these lies – especially the ‘my circumstances are my problem’ lie but it would indeed be a dissatisfying life!

      Great lessons that you’ve learned! For me, loving yourself is also key to being happy!

      Thanks a lot for your comment!
      Maxine

  10. Liv

    Aug 12, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Along with the lies people often scare themselves away from starting anything new. Based of fear of failure and sometimes fear of success. Most never reach their full potential because they are afraid to start. Some think they are not capable,but most are capable but will never know because they were to afraid to begin.

    • JALAL KHAN

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:27 am

      A good article.
      Must read for any one who wants to stretch and go beyond comfort zone to succeed.

    • Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow

      Aug 15, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Hey Liv,

      so true and also sad that most people don’t even give things a try and start. It’s amazing what people are capaple of if they just get going and keep pushing forward.

      Thanks for sharing!
      Maxine

      • ian

        Sep 18, 2014 at 6:13 pm

        Not sure to say this I ,am at my lowest even tried sucide. Nobody knows but I,am trying yet again but A small voice in my head is saying do not do this its not going to work. You see I went to the uk with the intention of earing a living am home again feel like I failed.Have An idea for a business Am currently working on it doing the relevant courses to get their.Hope this works for me

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Life

Lost Your Mojo? Focus on These 3 Areas to Get Back in the Game

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It’s time for some good news! You’re only ever lacking in three areas and guess what? You can turn those 3 things around relatively easily and quickly!

It’s easy to get caught up thinking, that you’re miles behind, that you can’t find your flow or mojo or that you’re just lazy and unmotivated. The good news is you are only a few decisions, actions and days away from finding your mojo again!

Here are 3 things you need to look at when you’re feeling down and out:

1. Energy levels

The first place to look when you lose your mojo is your energy levels. What are you eating & drinking? Are you eating lean, green and light? If you aren’t already, cut your intake down and focus on hydrating your body with water and eating fresh organic food. Being light on your feet and energizing your body is most important.

Also, take a look at your exercise regime. Are you exercising for energy or are you burning your body out at the gym? Make sure you are getting good consistent rest every night and don’t forget to spend some time alone in nature connecting with your inner most self.

“You just got to wake up with a smile and love every minute of building your dream.” – Joe Duncan

2. Production levels

The second place to look is your production levels or more so, your lack of production! Are you producing enough work or activity to get the results you want? That’s usually the real cause of most of your problems; a lack of work, effort and momentum. In many cases a lack of production stems from a lack of energy – but hey, we’re working on that right?

3. Confidence levels

The third place to look when you’re floundering is your confidence levels. But don’t panic, we all lose our confidence from time to time. When you lose your confidence and your sense of certainty, everything else will be impacted, especially your performance.

The best way to get your confidence back is to go back to basics for a few days and try and build some momentum and get your flow back. You lose your confidence when you lose your self belief, so do the simple things you know you can do well, then you’ll start to believe in your ability again!

“You won’t always get it right, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to get it right.” – Joe Duncan

It’s time to get your mojo back and get back in the game. Remember next time when you get stuck you only have to make adjustments in these three areas and most likely they will only be small tweaks and changes that need to be implemented. 

Click here if you are having trouble finding your flow, lost motivation and need some help to get back on your feet!

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Life

How Never Giving Up Can Lead You From Pain and Suffering to Ease and Joy

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I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.

Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.

Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:

1. I took responsibility for my actions

I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.  

This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.

For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.

Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.

2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down

I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.

Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.

After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!

I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale

3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible

As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.

I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.

4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free

This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.  

I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.

There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.

5. I became a new version of me

In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.

Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.

This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher

6. I became open to new ideas and concepts

In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.

Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends.  After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.

Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.

What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!

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Life

As Bad As Smoking? 3 Reasons to Occasionally Unplug From Technology

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A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.

As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.

Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:

1. Face-To-Face Interaction

As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.

There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.

If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.

2. Creative Thinking

Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.

Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius

3. Health Concerns

The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?

In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.

“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’

“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”

Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.

Bonus: Stress Reduction

With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.

I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.

If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.

“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer

Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.

How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.

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Life

3 Ways to Have More Time by Living More Proactively

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We live in a reactive world. We feel compelled to check and respond to digital tools at a moment’s notice. A few minutes here and a few there checking email, responding to Slack messages, and replying to Facebook posts add up to a significant amount of time over the course of a day, week, and month. This precious time could be spent writing a book, training for a race, or being with your kids.

There’s a better way: live proactively. It means starting each day with purpose by taking control of what you do and when you do it. Embrace the proactive habits below and you’ll be amazed at what you accomplish.

1. Know Where Your Time Goes

It’s critical to start every day with a plan that details what you’re going to do and when. Take a few minutes each evening to create a schedule for the day ahead, hour-by-hour. Note your current commitments, like “meeting from 12pm to 1pm.” Then, give yourself large chunks of time to complete your priorities for the day.  

On Monday evening you plan your day for Tuesday, which could look something like this:

6am – 8am: Write draft of article

8am – 9am: Commute to work

9am – 11am: Write report

11am – 12pm: Attend meeting

You get the idea. Without a plan, it’s too easy to spend your days reacting to others: agreeing to take on a project or deciding to attend a last-minute meeting. This is a sure-fire way to unnecessarily drag out your days, leaving you with little time for anything else.

Planning your day takes a little upfront effort, but the results pay dividends in return. You’ll get a lot done in less time.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin

2. Determine When You’re Available to Communicate

You can’t be a hermit all day, every day. You’ll have to respond to people either personally or digitally at some point. That’s why you should determine in advance when you’re available to others to answer questions and discuss issues with friends and colleagues. Experiment and find a block of time that works for you, and include it in your daily schedule.

This proactive approach gives you a block of time to handle communication, instead of here and there throughout the day—a practice that can eat away at your day. Plus, using a block of time to handle correspondence sets the expectation for others: they can’t interrupt and pepper you all day long with questions.

3. Focus, Focus, Focus

Now that you’ve got a plan in place, it’s time to hone in on the details: do one task at a time. This way of working is at odds with the rest of the world, since it’s popular today to multitask. It’s common to see employees working on one monitor and responding to Slack messages on another. But there’s a problem with multitasking: it doesn’t work.

When we “multitask,” we’re not really doing multiple things at once. Rather, we’re doing “individual actions in rapid succession,” as pointed out by the Cleveland Clinic. We are in fact “mono-taskers.”

Eliminating digital distractions helps you to focus completely on the task at hand. Put your smartphone on silent and move it out of sight so you’re not tempted to check it while working. Close your email and Slack tabs. In other words, proactively eliminate digital and physical clutter, and you’ll find you get more quality work done when you focus and do things one at a time.

“What I’ve learned in these 11 years is you just got to stay focused and believe in yourself and trust your own ability and judgment.” – Mark Cuban

Above all, living proactively is a shift in mindset. Instead of saying “let’s see what blows up at the office today” and reacting to every whim, begin the day with purpose and be proactive with your time and attention—both are limited.

How do you make sure you use your time wisely? Let us know by commenting below!

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The Best Way to Create a Six-figure Startup From Scratch

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Jennifer Xue is an award-winning author, business columnist and serial entrepreneur based in Northern California. She is a digital strategist for Oberlo and blogs at JenniferXue.com. Her byline has appeared in Forbes, Fortune, Cosmopolitan, Esquire, and other international publications.

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15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. sacha

    Aug 18, 2015 at 10:55 am

    What an awesome post. Will be sharing. I needed to read this to co firm. That when we fail we are just setting ourselves up for success. (If we learn from our mistakes.)

  2. Cory

    May 21, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Man, this hit me and i am guilty of all and have been, it seems the more i gave into these lies the deeper my hole got until it got so deep I had another issue other than my lies. Finding direction is difficult and cannot be done alone. I have been so low, I think I am becoming better mainly through my realization of me rather than my issues. Last year was the worst year of my life, i was ready to just end everything, I was depressed and blamed my job so I quit only to realize it was not my job it was just me and not knowing what to do or where to go. Then the love of my life just stopped communicating with me and started talking to other guys later on revealing me quitting my job was why. I then really went low as I had invested my entire being int his person which I now realize was wrong. I just went down and down until one night I just yelled at God and said screw itI am gong to just end myself only to realize I could not even do that so I told my self I am such a coward and chump. But then I had a conversation with a a former colleague who just told me straight out what my problem was which was me. Not loving myself, not caring for myself, caring for everything and everyone around me but never me. I was making everyone and everything the center of my life rather me being he center of my own life. I am still on the journey but this year seems to be going better than last. I set a goal to have a car by last Thanksgiving 2014 in August 2014 and i got it. It is not the flashiest car by a longshot but it is my car, that gave me some courage to know that I could reach my goals by any means neccesary, right now I have a goal to reach over the summer and I believe I will and I can. Life is a journey but everyone has a different type of journey which is what I am realizing, you have to take what you get and build with it. I always fussed about how life was not fair and I was born into a failing situation already and attributed that to why I was 32 and had nothing. But it was not that it was because i bypassed so many oppotunities due to fear, I responded to fear, insecurities, disadvantages in a way that hurt me and what I could do. all I can say today is no more! Though I say that knowing I may mess up again but I say no more to the wrong responses anymore not because I will nto respond wrong again but so I can be reminded not to.

  3. Devorah

    Dec 31, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Amazing! Loved this article! Brings together so much of what I “preach” for living a calmer life.

  4. Allegra Burton

    Nov 21, 2014 at 12:09 am

    What a great article that challenges many of our well-held beliefs. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Alejandro Piñero-Delgado

    Oct 10, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    I´m sure that must people see themselves with some of this lies. I actually saw myself with the fourth and fifth lie. I always blame others for my troubles and constantly had a bad temper for all my failures. Nevertheless I´m trying to change my way of thinking and give me the opportunity to accept my life as it is and leave all the bad behind.

    Alejandro

  6. inspirepeace

    Sep 21, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    Veeeery interesting Maxine! Some amazing points here that I have never thought about before.

    Thank you for this.

    Lewis

  7. James Simwanza

    Aug 14, 2014 at 10:19 am

    this post is just so great,point number strikes it even harder,it is what we tell ours selves that matters the most.”He who thinks he cant and he who thinks he can,are both usually right”Henry Ford

  8. Dinesh Tavasalkar

    Aug 13, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    Wow this is an amazing inspiring post I have read after a long time. All seven lies are something
    we keep telling ourselves at some point or other. Needless to say you have clearly explained all the points.

  9. Granville Louw

    Aug 13, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    I. LOVE. THIS. So wonderfully written and full of wisdom.
    These are all things I’ve been working on a lot lately, and just when I think I’ve got one down, I notice myself feeling small, limited and unworthy again, and I realize it’s because I’m believing one of my many lies.

    It takes a lot of vigilance and self-awareness to notice the lies and to have the presence of mind to challenge them. Sometimes it just seems so much easier to accept them…BUT what a sad, lonely and confined life that would be. Some are harder to stop believing than others — I’ve done a pretty good job of brainwashing myself in some respects — but I keep trying.

    Thank you for putting it out in such a positive, optimistic way! I sense that you have journeyed, like we all have, to this realization. Sometimes I believe that our inner critic builds up a protective layer around us by telling us negative things BEFORE the inevitable outsiders will.

    Be happy, love yourself, know that you deserve the best of everything, and treat yourself well! These are the lessons I’ve learned.

    • Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow

      Aug 15, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      Hey,
      Merci!

      lt would definitely be easier to simply accept some of these lies – especially the ‘my circumstances are my problem’ lie but it would indeed be a dissatisfying life!

      Great lessons that you’ve learned! For me, loving yourself is also key to being happy!

      Thanks a lot for your comment!
      Maxine

  10. Liv

    Aug 12, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Along with the lies people often scare themselves away from starting anything new. Based of fear of failure and sometimes fear of success. Most never reach their full potential because they are afraid to start. Some think they are not capable,but most are capable but will never know because they were to afraid to begin.

    • JALAL KHAN

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:27 am

      A good article.
      Must read for any one who wants to stretch and go beyond comfort zone to succeed.

    • Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow

      Aug 15, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Hey Liv,

      so true and also sad that most people don’t even give things a try and start. It’s amazing what people are capaple of if they just get going and keep pushing forward.

      Thanks for sharing!
      Maxine

      • ian

        Sep 18, 2014 at 6:13 pm

        Not sure to say this I ,am at my lowest even tried sucide. Nobody knows but I,am trying yet again but A small voice in my head is saying do not do this its not going to work. You see I went to the uk with the intention of earing a living am home again feel like I failed.Have An idea for a business Am currently working on it doing the relevant courses to get their.Hope this works for me

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Life

Lost Your Mojo? Focus on These 3 Areas to Get Back in the Game

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It’s time for some good news! You’re only ever lacking in three areas and guess what? You can turn those 3 things around relatively easily and quickly!

It’s easy to get caught up thinking, that you’re miles behind, that you can’t find your flow or mojo or that you’re just lazy and unmotivated. The good news is you are only a few decisions, actions and days away from finding your mojo again!

Here are 3 things you need to look at when you’re feeling down and out:

1. Energy levels

The first place to look when you lose your mojo is your energy levels. What are you eating & drinking? Are you eating lean, green and light? If you aren’t already, cut your intake down and focus on hydrating your body with water and eating fresh organic food. Being light on your feet and energizing your body is most important.

Also, take a look at your exercise regime. Are you exercising for energy or are you burning your body out at the gym? Make sure you are getting good consistent rest every night and don’t forget to spend some time alone in nature connecting with your inner most self.

“You just got to wake up with a smile and love every minute of building your dream.” – Joe Duncan

2. Production levels

The second place to look is your production levels or more so, your lack of production! Are you producing enough work or activity to get the results you want? That’s usually the real cause of most of your problems; a lack of work, effort and momentum. In many cases a lack of production stems from a lack of energy – but hey, we’re working on that right?

3. Confidence levels

The third place to look when you’re floundering is your confidence levels. But don’t panic, we all lose our confidence from time to time. When you lose your confidence and your sense of certainty, everything else will be impacted, especially your performance.

The best way to get your confidence back is to go back to basics for a few days and try and build some momentum and get your flow back. You lose your confidence when you lose your self belief, so do the simple things you know you can do well, then you’ll start to believe in your ability again!

“You won’t always get it right, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to get it right.” – Joe Duncan

It’s time to get your mojo back and get back in the game. Remember next time when you get stuck you only have to make adjustments in these three areas and most likely they will only be small tweaks and changes that need to be implemented. 

Click here if you are having trouble finding your flow, lost motivation and need some help to get back on your feet!

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Life

How Never Giving Up Can Lead You From Pain and Suffering to Ease and Joy

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I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.

Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.

Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:

1. I took responsibility for my actions

I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.  

This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.

For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.

Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.

2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down

I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.

Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.

After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!

I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale

3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible

As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.

I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.

4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free

This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.  

I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.

There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.

5. I became a new version of me

In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.

Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.

This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher

6. I became open to new ideas and concepts

In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.

Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends.  After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.

Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.

What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!

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As Bad As Smoking? 3 Reasons to Occasionally Unplug From Technology

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A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.

As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.

Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:

1. Face-To-Face Interaction

As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.

There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.

If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.

2. Creative Thinking

Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.

Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius

3. Health Concerns

The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?

In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.

“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’

“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”

Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.

Bonus: Stress Reduction

With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.

I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.

If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.

“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer

Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.

How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.

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Life

3 Ways to Have More Time by Living More Proactively

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We live in a reactive world. We feel compelled to check and respond to digital tools at a moment’s notice. A few minutes here and a few there checking email, responding to Slack messages, and replying to Facebook posts add up to a significant amount of time over the course of a day, week, and month. This precious time could be spent writing a book, training for a race, or being with your kids.

There’s a better way: live proactively. It means starting each day with purpose by taking control of what you do and when you do it. Embrace the proactive habits below and you’ll be amazed at what you accomplish.

1. Know Where Your Time Goes

It’s critical to start every day with a plan that details what you’re going to do and when. Take a few minutes each evening to create a schedule for the day ahead, hour-by-hour. Note your current commitments, like “meeting from 12pm to 1pm.” Then, give yourself large chunks of time to complete your priorities for the day.  

On Monday evening you plan your day for Tuesday, which could look something like this:

6am – 8am: Write draft of article

8am – 9am: Commute to work

9am – 11am: Write report

11am – 12pm: Attend meeting

You get the idea. Without a plan, it’s too easy to spend your days reacting to others: agreeing to take on a project or deciding to attend a last-minute meeting. This is a sure-fire way to unnecessarily drag out your days, leaving you with little time for anything else.

Planning your day takes a little upfront effort, but the results pay dividends in return. You’ll get a lot done in less time.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin

2. Determine When You’re Available to Communicate

You can’t be a hermit all day, every day. You’ll have to respond to people either personally or digitally at some point. That’s why you should determine in advance when you’re available to others to answer questions and discuss issues with friends and colleagues. Experiment and find a block of time that works for you, and include it in your daily schedule.

This proactive approach gives you a block of time to handle communication, instead of here and there throughout the day—a practice that can eat away at your day. Plus, using a block of time to handle correspondence sets the expectation for others: they can’t interrupt and pepper you all day long with questions.

3. Focus, Focus, Focus

Now that you’ve got a plan in place, it’s time to hone in on the details: do one task at a time. This way of working is at odds with the rest of the world, since it’s popular today to multitask. It’s common to see employees working on one monitor and responding to Slack messages on another. But there’s a problem with multitasking: it doesn’t work.

When we “multitask,” we’re not really doing multiple things at once. Rather, we’re doing “individual actions in rapid succession,” as pointed out by the Cleveland Clinic. We are in fact “mono-taskers.”

Eliminating digital distractions helps you to focus completely on the task at hand. Put your smartphone on silent and move it out of sight so you’re not tempted to check it while working. Close your email and Slack tabs. In other words, proactively eliminate digital and physical clutter, and you’ll find you get more quality work done when you focus and do things one at a time.

“What I’ve learned in these 11 years is you just got to stay focused and believe in yourself and trust your own ability and judgment.” – Mark Cuban

Above all, living proactively is a shift in mindset. Instead of saying “let’s see what blows up at the office today” and reacting to every whim, begin the day with purpose and be proactive with your time and attention—both are limited.

How do you make sure you use your time wisely? Let us know by commenting below!

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