Connect with us

Life

7 Ludicrous Lies You Keep Telling Yourself

Published

on

suit business man success

There are so many lies that society ingrained inside of you, that you adopted as you own. From your parents to your teachers, these lies snuck into your life, without you even realizing it.

Now it’s time to uncover them to achieve the success you truly deserve.

Here are 7 ludicrous lies you tell yourself that keep you away from success.

 

1. I shouldn’t fail

The most successful people fail and they fail often. If you want to speed up your path to success, take goal-aligned actions that are above what you think you’re capable of every single day.

Failing involves trying and moving out of your comfort zone.  If you avoid the risk of failing, you are setting yourself up for failure by default.

Remember:

“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.” ~ Eloise Ristad

 

2. I shouldn’t be scared

We live in a society that tells us, “you must overcome your fears and radically eliminate them”. This makes us thrive towards an unrealistic state that we may never achieve.

Fear will only disappear when you do nothing, try nothing, be nothing.

It disappears when you stay within your comfort zone and avoid taking any kind of risks – but for that, you pay the price of a boring life.

The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is not their degree of fear – but how they respond to it.

As Stephen Pressfield famously wrote in the ‘War of Art’:

Stephen Pressfield Picture Quote

 (“The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.”   ~Steven Pressfield)

Accept your fears and use it as a catapult for progress by doing what needs to get done.

 

3. I should be able to do it alone

Successful people create an environment that supports their goals and surrounds themselves with the right people.

You don’t have to do it alone and find all the answers yourself.  A friend of mine once said:

“The more you ask, the more you can get.”

If asking makes you feel uncomfortable, become a giver. A person that gives feels no discomfort in asking, they see it as a mutual exchange of love.

“The strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it.  ~ Rona Barret  (Retweet this)

 

4. My circumstances are my problem

People view the problems that they encounter external to themselves. They blame others for what is happening or not happening. They blame the economy, the environment or anything else they can find.

Life is a projection and your problems are mere delusions of your thinking. In the philosopher’s notes on ‘Love what is’ by Byron Katie, there is a great little story that goes like this:

Imagine you’re in the cinema watching a movie. When the movie starts, you notice some smudge on the screen. So, you get up and try to wipe it off – but it doesn’t go away. You try harder and harder, but nothing changes. You get frustrated and annoyed and can’t enjoy the movie anymore.

The problem was never the screen but rather the projector that had smudge on its lens. Your mind is the projector and your life the movie screen. If you see smudge on the screen , you don’t need to wipe down the screen – but the projector that projects it.

Don’t go through life thinking you need to change the “movie screen” – your life – instead change the projector by changing the way you think.

 

5. I shouldn’t struggle

Your struggles are not your problem – your response to them is.  Some say the word struggle derived from  Proto-Germanic “strūkōną” – “to be stiff”. When you struggle, you don’t flow with life, accept, and embrace life as it comes.

What if you see your struggles as gifts that give you the optimal opportunities to grow, develop and mature? Eliminate the idea of struggles and problems: Life either presents itself as “blissful experiences or as blissful opportunities to learn”.

“Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought.“ ~ Napoleon Hill

 

6. I just need to fix my weaknesses

Your areas of strength offer the biggest room for personal growth. Instead of wasting your time fixing weaknesses, going from terrible to mediocre, spend your time and energy to develop excellence. This can only be achieved by focusing on your natural talents and developing them into strengths.

Successful people are not well-rounded,instead they capitalize on their strengths and manage around their weaknesses. By fixing your weaknesses, you ultimately aim for average. It’s not the path to glory.

Play to win instead of play not to lose.

“Emphasize strengths, don’t fix weaknesses.” ~ Tim Ferriss

 

7. I need to have the end in mind

Stephen Covey talked about beginning with the end in mind, having a clear focus on where you are heading. But constant thinking about your goals means being mentally in the future, disengaged from the current moment.

Being mindfully present in the now with focused attention on the task, is the key ingredient for high performance.

In his book ‘Overachievement’, psychologist John Eliot explains that overachievers act in the “trusting mindset”, being total engaged in what they are doing, without thought.

To live your best life, be present and mentally engaged in the now.  Success starts in this very moment, with the choices you make right now.

Yes, keep the end in my mind. Plan, dream and visualize – but have the “present moment” more present in mind. Will Smith was right when he said:

Will Smith Quote

Which lie are you telling yourself? Let me know in the comments below!

Maxine runs the The Leader of Tomorrow, a personal blog that is dedicated to help you become more successful by making the most of yourself and mastering your mind. If you want to know how to use your full potential - visit her at www.theleaderoftomorrow.com for more great content.

Advertisement
15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. sacha

    Aug 18, 2015 at 10:55 am

    What an awesome post. Will be sharing. I needed to read this to co firm. That when we fail we are just setting ourselves up for success. (If we learn from our mistakes.)

  2. Cory

    May 21, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Man, this hit me and i am guilty of all and have been, it seems the more i gave into these lies the deeper my hole got until it got so deep I had another issue other than my lies. Finding direction is difficult and cannot be done alone. I have been so low, I think I am becoming better mainly through my realization of me rather than my issues. Last year was the worst year of my life, i was ready to just end everything, I was depressed and blamed my job so I quit only to realize it was not my job it was just me and not knowing what to do or where to go. Then the love of my life just stopped communicating with me and started talking to other guys later on revealing me quitting my job was why. I then really went low as I had invested my entire being int his person which I now realize was wrong. I just went down and down until one night I just yelled at God and said screw itI am gong to just end myself only to realize I could not even do that so I told my self I am such a coward and chump. But then I had a conversation with a a former colleague who just told me straight out what my problem was which was me. Not loving myself, not caring for myself, caring for everything and everyone around me but never me. I was making everyone and everything the center of my life rather me being he center of my own life. I am still on the journey but this year seems to be going better than last. I set a goal to have a car by last Thanksgiving 2014 in August 2014 and i got it. It is not the flashiest car by a longshot but it is my car, that gave me some courage to know that I could reach my goals by any means neccesary, right now I have a goal to reach over the summer and I believe I will and I can. Life is a journey but everyone has a different type of journey which is what I am realizing, you have to take what you get and build with it. I always fussed about how life was not fair and I was born into a failing situation already and attributed that to why I was 32 and had nothing. But it was not that it was because i bypassed so many oppotunities due to fear, I responded to fear, insecurities, disadvantages in a way that hurt me and what I could do. all I can say today is no more! Though I say that knowing I may mess up again but I say no more to the wrong responses anymore not because I will nto respond wrong again but so I can be reminded not to.

  3. Devorah

    Dec 31, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Amazing! Loved this article! Brings together so much of what I “preach” for living a calmer life.

  4. Allegra Burton

    Nov 21, 2014 at 12:09 am

    What a great article that challenges many of our well-held beliefs. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Alejandro Piñero-Delgado

    Oct 10, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    I´m sure that must people see themselves with some of this lies. I actually saw myself with the fourth and fifth lie. I always blame others for my troubles and constantly had a bad temper for all my failures. Nevertheless I´m trying to change my way of thinking and give me the opportunity to accept my life as it is and leave all the bad behind.

    Alejandro

  6. inspirepeace

    Sep 21, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    Veeeery interesting Maxine! Some amazing points here that I have never thought about before.

    Thank you for this.

    Lewis

  7. James Simwanza

    Aug 14, 2014 at 10:19 am

    this post is just so great,point number strikes it even harder,it is what we tell ours selves that matters the most.”He who thinks he cant and he who thinks he can,are both usually right”Henry Ford

  8. Dinesh Tavasalkar

    Aug 13, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    Wow this is an amazing inspiring post I have read after a long time. All seven lies are something
    we keep telling ourselves at some point or other. Needless to say you have clearly explained all the points.

  9. Granville Louw

    Aug 13, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    I. LOVE. THIS. So wonderfully written and full of wisdom.
    These are all things I’ve been working on a lot lately, and just when I think I’ve got one down, I notice myself feeling small, limited and unworthy again, and I realize it’s because I’m believing one of my many lies.

    It takes a lot of vigilance and self-awareness to notice the lies and to have the presence of mind to challenge them. Sometimes it just seems so much easier to accept them…BUT what a sad, lonely and confined life that would be. Some are harder to stop believing than others — I’ve done a pretty good job of brainwashing myself in some respects — but I keep trying.

    Thank you for putting it out in such a positive, optimistic way! I sense that you have journeyed, like we all have, to this realization. Sometimes I believe that our inner critic builds up a protective layer around us by telling us negative things BEFORE the inevitable outsiders will.

    Be happy, love yourself, know that you deserve the best of everything, and treat yourself well! These are the lessons I’ve learned.

    • Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow

      Aug 15, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      Hey,
      Merci!

      lt would definitely be easier to simply accept some of these lies – especially the ‘my circumstances are my problem’ lie but it would indeed be a dissatisfying life!

      Great lessons that you’ve learned! For me, loving yourself is also key to being happy!

      Thanks a lot for your comment!
      Maxine

  10. Liv

    Aug 12, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Along with the lies people often scare themselves away from starting anything new. Based of fear of failure and sometimes fear of success. Most never reach their full potential because they are afraid to start. Some think they are not capable,but most are capable but will never know because they were to afraid to begin.

    • JALAL KHAN

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:27 am

      A good article.
      Must read for any one who wants to stretch and go beyond comfort zone to succeed.

    • Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow

      Aug 15, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Hey Liv,

      so true and also sad that most people don’t even give things a try and start. It’s amazing what people are capaple of if they just get going and keep pushing forward.

      Thanks for sharing!
      Maxine

      • ian

        Sep 18, 2014 at 6:13 pm

        Not sure to say this I ,am at my lowest even tried sucide. Nobody knows but I,am trying yet again but A small voice in my head is saying do not do this its not going to work. You see I went to the uk with the intention of earing a living am home again feel like I failed.Have An idea for a business Am currently working on it doing the relevant courses to get their.Hope this works for me

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

6 Signs That You’re Already the Master of Your Own Destiny

Published

on

destiny
Image Credit: Unsplash

You wake up early, grind, produce, and orient yourself to the best you can be every day. What if, just for today, you paused for a moment to honor how far you’ve come? How might it serve you and how you serve others if you just gave yourself praise for all the adversity you have met with open arms?

It can be distorting at times to take a level-headed assessment of how far we have come while on our journey to success and personal mastery. There is a renewed personal vitality and nourishment that occurs when we slow down and sit with personal praise for a moment.

With that, consider this the letter from the Robin to your Batman. This is your permission slip to realize fully that no matter where you’re at, that all your time and talents have gotten you this far, and that is something to celebrate!

When it comes to carving our higher selves out of the blood, sweat, and tears in applying courage towards our dreams, there is tremendous value in developing an intimate relationship with all the ways in which our mindset, values, behaviors, and perspective have shifted over time.

Here are the signs that you’re already the master of your own destiny:

1. You have moved past the tendency of judging others

Your baseline state is observing the nuances of a situation or interaction without projecting your thoughts, emotions, or insecurities onto others. The flexibility that is born from this skill of self-knowledge and emotional awareness is the bedrock and proof for how far you’ve come.

2. Relationships in your life are changing

You’re attracting relationships into your life that reflect your higher self and dropping those that no longer serve your best interests. If people start to fall out of your life, you no longer feel guilty or sad – you simply come to terms with this inevitable fact of personal evolution.

Everyone walks their own path here, and just because they no longer resonate with you, does not make them a bad person. It just means they too need to find others who share their vibration.

“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

3. You have become increasingly in tune with the emotional component of social skills

You think less, and you feel more. Humans are moved by emotion, so the more you become emotionally aware you are the more you can actualize your impact.

Ultimately, you understand the interconnectedness of being open to more of what is going on around you with how others are feeling and the emotions going on in yourself, so your leadership has become more inclusive and effective.

4. You believe you can inspire the world just by being who you authentically are

Sure, you have days of confusion and setbacks, and you still feel a form of relaxation when you’re tethered to the deep knowing that the more you share from a place of authenticity you give others permission to do the same. This belief opens the door to more intuitive listening to your gut. It also means you’re less attached to outcomes, which comes with it the sort of freedom only few people ever really experience.

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” – Marilyn Monroe

5. You are kind to yourself by honoring your integrity

This means not giving yourself a break to bail out on your word you give to yourself and others, and you do so from a place of compassion. You understand the difference between setting standards and your word to align with perfectionism compared to that which serves your dignity and the dignity of those around you.

This subtle wisdom in perspective can mean all the difference in creating your empire through burning out and maintaining peak performance over time, while truly enjoying the ride.

6. You prioritize self-care and personal recovery

Gone are the days of working hard and playing hard. Whether you experienced burnout in the past or have witnessed it in others, you are meticulous in your self-care strategies.

You’ve come to internalize the risks of working hard to build the life you want only to miss enjoying it because you succumbed to being plugged in around the clock.

You must prioritize all the following:

  • Meditation
  • Staying hydrated
  • Getting a good night’s sleep
  • Eating healthy in accordance to your body type and what it needs to stay optimized
  • Intimate connection with those you care about
  • Journaling to organize your thoughts
  • Creating healthy boundaries and saying no when appropriate

You deserve to be acknowledged, wherever you are on your journey. Don’t let the spell of personal improvement cloud your sense of personal mastery in the now.

Your destiny is relying on you to appreciate who you are at the core and share yourself with the world authentically. On some level, you can do that fully, right now. May this be an inspiration to press pause more often and honor yourself, in the name of falling in love with the process.

How do you spend your time relaxing in order to recharge yourself? Let us know what you do in the comments below!

Continue Reading

Life

How to Instantly Heighten Your Influence Through Effective Communication

Published

on

effective communication
Image Credit: Unsplash

As a practitioner and coach of NLP, I regularly experience people reaching out to me to work through a problem. While these issues range anywhere from a relational vendetta to a self-discovery impasse, roughly 90 percent of these hang-ups are centered around ineffective communication.

Now, I in no way claim to be an expert in this department. In fact, the more I dissect what I know to be true about communication, the more I realize I’m aloof to most of it. However, amongst the sea of pain and heartache, some common themes arose from the language and perceptions being opted for. These patterns clearly weren’t doing anyone any favors in the arenas of connection and influence and moreover, created a vague feeling of  —and  I use this term loosely — helplessness.

This isn’t exactly a surprise, as sharing and receiving ideas isn’t exactly our strong suit. Social issues, divorces, and violence can all be traced back to some type of breakdown in communication. Much of the world succumbs to a baseline of ineffective dialogue and we need an effective solution.

After just about every meaningful relationship in my life bit the dust, I woke up to a few painstakingly common denominators that were consistently tarnishing the effect I was having on people. Have a peek behind the curtain.

Here are four critical communication distinctions that will make an immediate impact with the people in your life:

1. Resist the urge to say “you”

Because of our overwhelming desire to be right — and therefore protected — we love sharing where the other person failed to meet our expectations. It’s common practice to pepper the phrases “you did this” or “you said that” throughout our explanation, as we want to reinforce how the other person made us feel.

This gets us absolutely nowhere and transforms the pre-existing chain-link fence into castle walls. By renouncing the use of “you”, the person’s nerves are calmed as the spotlight has been taken off of them—dissipating the feeling of being put on trial. The entire experience is now under consideration and they can sense you’ll be a little more objective in your drawing of conclusions.

“Communication- the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer

2. Use “what” instead of “why”

Questions can be the most powerful gateway to understanding what’s happening in another person’s world. However, we often jump the gun when it comes to dealing with communication breakdowns.

“Why” possesses far too much depth as an inquiry, often careening someone off an emotional cliff. It pierces the conscious mind and it typically elicits a sharp comment or cutting remark in response, capping a lid on the potential for forward momentum in the conversation. Most people would prefer walking into the ocean, as opposed to being dropped into shark-infested waters.

“What” is much more of a surface-level inquisition. It treads lightly and doesn’t require the other person to dig as deep in their explanation. “Why” confronts the individual, while “what” confronts the situation.

3. Resist over-identifying with what’s being said

Expecting someone else to base their every move around your feelings is a recipe for disaster. No one has a complete picture of reality but our continual sole reliance on our own subjective view robs us of being quality contributors to others — most notably, in our closest relationships.

It’s the difference between the spouse who yells and screams at their partner for coming home late versus the one that greets their partner with genuine concern and worry for their well-being. One is a focus on the short-term (the emotions that arose from the situation), while the other is a response to the long-term and what’s most important (the health of the individual).

Taking the “all things considered” approach will do you far more good than simply concerning yourself with your own feelings. After all, they aren’t always valid. Stop yourself from the knee-jerk reactions whenever curveballs get thrown your way and instead, take a look at the score, the inning, how many outs, and the men on base— then you can take a swing.

“Communication must be HOT. That’s Honest, Open, and Two-way.” – Dan Oswald

4. Understand that how you perceive the conversation is entirely one-dimensional

Words, tone, and body language can play serious tricks on us sometimes. Consider that it’s impossible to know the truth within a conversation, as the “truth” is contingent upon whose point of view you’re basing it off of.

When communication reaches a stopping point, it’s usually a result of neither party being willing to waver on their indifferences. Attachment and pride get in the way in many areas of life and communication is no exception. To truly understand another person and appreciate where they’re coming from, you must give up your point of view.

It allows you to be a clear space for their ideas and input—free from judgment or cynicism. You can literally create freedom for another human being simply by opting to remain stoic and allow them to try on their own opinion, instead of having to force it down someone else’s combative throat.

This doesn’t mean you agree with them or validate what they’re saying. It’s simply a matter of making an impact— people will not move for someone they don’t feel heard by. Giving up your position not only allows room to understand another person, it creates freedom to roam the meadow of new ideas. It shows you that you’re okay despite temporarily being of no position or stance.

Our ego thinks we can’t survive without a strong opinion etched firmly within our psyche. It’s up to you to show yourself that you don’t have to be held hostage to that opinion— for you can let go of it at any moment in lieu of what really makes the difference for people.

Continue Reading

Life

5 Ways Going Abroad Alone Increases Your Performance at Work

Published

on

traveling abroad
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

What is your first thought when one of your co-workers decides to take a two-week vacation abroad? Sure, now you have to work overtime in their absence, but would it be worth it if they came back better than ever? At a crossroads in my career, I decided to spend two weeks in South America to gain clarity about what I want to do with my life, and as great as this experience was for my personal growth, I underestimated how much this trip would impact my professional life.

Here are the 5 ways it changed my performance and how it can change your performance too:

1. You Learn to Build Relationships from Nothing

As important as your time alone is for your personal development, finding ways to effectively socialize while abroad is probably your greatest challenge. Solo traveling forces you into uncomfortable situations where you must find common ground with people who speak different languages, have different beliefs, and come from different backgrounds.

Traveling alone gets lonely with minimal socialization, and the way you learn to respond to challenging social moments oftentimes is the personal development you seek when choosing to travel alone.

The ability to introduce yourself to new people and build relationships quickly is a skill that translates immensely at work. Whether you are at a company event, meeting a new employee, or building a relationship with a client, your experience socializing abroad gives you a new confidence in your conversations.

2. You Gain Self-Awareness

When traveling alone, it is a gift and a curse that you make every decision for yourself. You very quickly learn more about the things that you enjoy doing and the ways that you like spending your day. Every decision you make offers immediate feedback that further reveals your priorities and preferences, and from that you gain a new sense of self-awareness.

Although self-awareness can be practiced deliberately, a foreign setting brings about organic opportunities to develop self-awareness through cultural and natural introspection.

Self-awareness is hugely valuable at work because it allows you to be more critical of yourself.  Being in tune with your skillset makes you a more productive and efficient member of your team.

By identifying your capabilities in different areas, you can focus on your role and add value in the way that is optimized for you. The first step is to understand more about yourself and what you offer, and travel is a great way to hone in on exactly that.

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?” – Marcus Aurelius

3. You Learn How to Take Ownership of Poor Results

When sharing any experience with another person, the blame, guilt, pride or triumph dilutes into the entire group. When traveling alone, however, everything that happens is directed back at you, and you are responsible for every consequence of the decisions you make. You must learn to take ownership of your own mistakes when abroad, and learn to manage negative situations proactively.

In the workplace, accepting fault is especially important because blame is a huge source of conflict, and can greatly affect your office relationships along with your team’s willingness to work with you.

Taking ownership might be a source of immediate animosity, but serves well in the long-term because it builds a foundation that will help you overcome issues that arise in the future.

On a personal development note, when perceiving the error as your own, you assume the role of correcting the system that caused the error and gain experience as an individual while setting the company up for success moving forward.

4. You Learn How to Problem Solve Independently

I’d be remiss to not mention that traveling alone is stressful. You need to navigate public transportation, manage travel itineraries, and book all accommodations, which is not easy to do solo. Nonetheless, this challenge is valuable, because it makes you practice new skills in a high-stakes environment along with growing a sense of autonomy.

Independent problem solving is an irreplaceable skill in business, and being capable of finding an answer to a tough question on your own saves your team from unneeded distractions. Alternatively, when a peer presents you with a difficult and important problem to solve, you now have more faith in your ability to come up with a creative solution.

The skill of solving problems for yourself is an asset at work, and can develop quickly when being alone while abroad.

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” – Duke Ellington

5. You Learn to Trust Your Own Impressions

As a solo-traveler, you have a lot of time to internalize everything you experience. Although I do suggest everyone keep a journal while they are traveling, your impressions are limited to your own vantage point. With this limited input, you begin to value your own instincts more than you did before.

In your job, trusting your own impressions will increase your productivity at work by accelerating your work-flow. Certain projects require that you just move forward, and instead of second guessing yourself, you will have more confidence that you can handle the task. Time abroad brings a new-found confidence in difficult situations that will manifest in all areas of your life.

Outside of the unmatchable personal exploration you experience while traveling alone, you develop certain traits that prove to be extremely beneficial in a professional setting. By learning to build better relationships, gain self-awareness, take ownership of poor results, solve problems on your own, and trust your own impressions, traveling abroad hands you a polished set of skills that can deployed upon your return.

Where do you want to travel to and why? Let us know where you want to go in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

How To Dramatically Improve Your Life In 2 Years.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash / Aaron Mello

You’re unlikely to change your life dramatically in a short space of time. Two years is a good number. It allows you enough time to experiment, execute and see the results.

In the last two years I’ve gone from not being able to do the following: speak publicly in front of a live audience, gain proper control of my health, control my anger, forgive people who did the wrong thing, find work I love and meet a girl who I could fall in love with.

Two years on, I’ve crushed each of these life goals. I feel like I haven’t just improved my life but that I’ve transformed it.

Here’s how you can do the same and improve your life:


Do one crazy thing.

The crazy thing I did was write down my fears and commit to knocking off at least one of them. The first one I went for was public speaking.

I began practicing in front of small crowds. Last week I spoke in front of eighty of the most senior managers in the company I work for and crushed it.

Tackling one fear became addictive and I ended up knocking over the whole list. The most difficult one was ending a more than ten-year family feud, so I could finally experience peace in my life again.

We all have one crazy thing that we’ve dreamed about and never taken action on. Dare to dream a little.

Find that one crazy thing and take one action towards overcoming the barriers that have stopped you in the past. Don’t let those excuses stop you anymore.

You need one event to trigger that transformation and then for the next two years you’ll have the momentum to get started on the rest of the suggestions I’m going to make below.


Prevent yourself from overthinking.

This guy sent me a note on LinkedIn. He had a dream of becoming a writer and he hadn’t executed for more than five years.

He sent me an article he wanted to post and asked if I could proofread it, provide feedback and then give him permission to publish it.

I was brutal with my response because I wanted him to win.

I told him “Stop overthinking and forget about asking for my permission.”

He ended up publishing his first article and not overthinking any longer. Before long, he’d published more articles in a few weeks, than he’d ever published in his entire life.

He’s well on his way to improving his life and doing what he loves because he stopped overthinking.

Many of you reading this article have the same sort of goals and have also been held back because of the following reasons:

1. You’re waiting for permission
2. You’re seeking perfection
3. You’re waiting for the right moment
4. You’re too busy with planning instead of executing

Screw all these excuses and just hit publish. Or just go for your goal. Or just make the investment. Or just attend the event.

Whatever your goal is, don’t allow yourself to think about it any longer.

Improving your life starts with executing — not thinking for years about it.


Look for quick wins.

The art of improving your life comes down a lot to how you feel. When you feel like your life is improving, you find this inner motivation that comes out of nowhere.

The way to get this boost in energy and thinking is to find some quick wins.

During my two-year journey, I threw out more than 50% of my belongings. It didn’t take me long to do, but it provided a tremendous quick win that I could build from.

Think carefully about one quick win you could execute on and then start taking one action daily towards achieving it. The smallest thing like making your bed every day will start you on a path of improving your life.


Consume less. Invest in yourself.

I mentioned before about getting rid of half my possessions. What I didn’t tell you is that I collected more than $20k from the sale of these useless items.

I then invested that money back into improving my life. I attended a couple of seminars; I put some of the money into a European holiday; I used some of the money to help others.

Many of you are consuming and buying things you don’t need. This leaves very little resources left to invest in yourself and your ability to grow and evolve.

“Change your spending habits from consuming products and over to investing in the growth of your goals. For you to improve, you must invest”


Find a way to share your thoughts.

Whatever your goal is in life, improving your life is best done by sharing your thoughts. I’ve chosen online channels to do this.

Over the last two years, I’ve shared my ideas and strategies with the world through Medium, Quora and LinkedIn.

By sharing my thoughts, people who think in a similar way have been attracted into my life. This has led me to consult for many companies that I previously could only have dreamt of working with.

Finding people like you who want the same things as you, and who you can collaborate with, first starts with sharing your thoughts.

The sharing of your thoughts is like a magnet that pulls in everything you’ve always needed and wanted in your life — the people, the ideas, the resources, the opportunities.


Build a diversified foundation of income.

For me, that looks like paid blogging, affiliate income, paid speaking gigs, consulting, a broad range of investments that compound year on year and 1 on 1 coaching.

Money is not the key to everything like many people think, but it will make the dramatic improvement your seeking even bigger.

Having diversified income means the following:

  • The risk of you losing your full-time job is much less painful
  • You’ll have money to invest in education and personal growth
  • When the next recession comes, you’ll be prepared
  • The ability for you to change directions in your career becomes easier
  • Diversified income usually leads to passive income (making money while you sleep)

Passive income is my favorite. Going back a few years now, I invested heavily into reading more than twenty books on investing.

I implemented the strategies and now I make some of my income while I sleep. Passive income requires a bit of effort up front, but it’s worth the time.


Read some life-changing books.

None of my two-year change would have been possible if I didn’t fill my big head with new ideas. My previous thinking about the concept of success was flawed.

“My previous vision for success focused heavily on taking from the world rather than giving back”

Below are four books I read that led to the dramatic change in my life:

Tribe Of Mentors
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Think And Grow Rich
Crushing It


Become really good at saying no.

A dramatic change in your life requires empty space to think and reflect. You’ll never get this time unless you get really good at saying no.

The more success you have in life, the more inbound requests you’ll get for your time. People will often want you to support their goals rather than offering you opportunities to support your goals.

Normally the first feeling you have when someone asks for your time is the correct one. Learn how to say no and always do so respectfully.


Do the right thing no matter what.

Incredible honesty and transparency in everything I’ve done over the last two years has helped me build up a team of allies who’ve taken my life much further than I could have ever expected — especially in the space of two years.

Doing the right thing will often mean that you could lose out in the short-term. That’s perfectly okay.

I’m aiming to set you up for long-term success and that means that how you act needs to be ethical.

“Dishonest people are quickly forgotten when there’s an incredible opportunity that is available”

By being overly transparent in business, I was able to build a list of customers who provided me with all the referrals I ever needed to grow my business.

I didn’t have to spend money on paid ads, PR or lead generation. Doing the right thing is always the right thing.


Stop saying yes to dumb stuff.

  • Gambling with your money
  • Get rich quick schemes
  • Material possessions you don’t need
  • Requests of your time that you regret shortly after

Final thought.

Dramatically improving your life is possible when you commit to being disciplined, go outside of what feels comfortable and serve people other than yourself.

Personal transformation is how you build momentum for everything in your life. It’s the foundation for your own definition of success.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Continue Reading

Trending

Quotes

25 Confucius Quotes That Will Inspire You to Live the Best Life Possible

Published

on

confucius quotes
Image Credit | The Great Courses

Confucius was an exceptional teacher and philosopher that founded Confucianism which can be described as a way to govern your life. Confucianism is founded on the notion that human beings can improve their life through personal development and create the life they truly desire. (more…)

Armando Quintana III is a current master’s student and one of his main goals is to be a physician. He mentors high school and college students along with giving them speeches on alternative ways to reach success, and aims to educate people as a future physician on the natural healing powers of the body. He can be reached through social media at @armandoq3 or his website at mfmanifesto.com.

Advertisement
15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. sacha

    Aug 18, 2015 at 10:55 am

    What an awesome post. Will be sharing. I needed to read this to co firm. That when we fail we are just setting ourselves up for success. (If we learn from our mistakes.)

  2. Cory

    May 21, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Man, this hit me and i am guilty of all and have been, it seems the more i gave into these lies the deeper my hole got until it got so deep I had another issue other than my lies. Finding direction is difficult and cannot be done alone. I have been so low, I think I am becoming better mainly through my realization of me rather than my issues. Last year was the worst year of my life, i was ready to just end everything, I was depressed and blamed my job so I quit only to realize it was not my job it was just me and not knowing what to do or where to go. Then the love of my life just stopped communicating with me and started talking to other guys later on revealing me quitting my job was why. I then really went low as I had invested my entire being int his person which I now realize was wrong. I just went down and down until one night I just yelled at God and said screw itI am gong to just end myself only to realize I could not even do that so I told my self I am such a coward and chump. But then I had a conversation with a a former colleague who just told me straight out what my problem was which was me. Not loving myself, not caring for myself, caring for everything and everyone around me but never me. I was making everyone and everything the center of my life rather me being he center of my own life. I am still on the journey but this year seems to be going better than last. I set a goal to have a car by last Thanksgiving 2014 in August 2014 and i got it. It is not the flashiest car by a longshot but it is my car, that gave me some courage to know that I could reach my goals by any means neccesary, right now I have a goal to reach over the summer and I believe I will and I can. Life is a journey but everyone has a different type of journey which is what I am realizing, you have to take what you get and build with it. I always fussed about how life was not fair and I was born into a failing situation already and attributed that to why I was 32 and had nothing. But it was not that it was because i bypassed so many oppotunities due to fear, I responded to fear, insecurities, disadvantages in a way that hurt me and what I could do. all I can say today is no more! Though I say that knowing I may mess up again but I say no more to the wrong responses anymore not because I will nto respond wrong again but so I can be reminded not to.

  3. Devorah

    Dec 31, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Amazing! Loved this article! Brings together so much of what I “preach” for living a calmer life.

  4. Allegra Burton

    Nov 21, 2014 at 12:09 am

    What a great article that challenges many of our well-held beliefs. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Alejandro Piñero-Delgado

    Oct 10, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    I´m sure that must people see themselves with some of this lies. I actually saw myself with the fourth and fifth lie. I always blame others for my troubles and constantly had a bad temper for all my failures. Nevertheless I´m trying to change my way of thinking and give me the opportunity to accept my life as it is and leave all the bad behind.

    Alejandro

  6. inspirepeace

    Sep 21, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    Veeeery interesting Maxine! Some amazing points here that I have never thought about before.

    Thank you for this.

    Lewis

  7. James Simwanza

    Aug 14, 2014 at 10:19 am

    this post is just so great,point number strikes it even harder,it is what we tell ours selves that matters the most.”He who thinks he cant and he who thinks he can,are both usually right”Henry Ford

  8. Dinesh Tavasalkar

    Aug 13, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    Wow this is an amazing inspiring post I have read after a long time. All seven lies are something
    we keep telling ourselves at some point or other. Needless to say you have clearly explained all the points.

  9. Granville Louw

    Aug 13, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    I. LOVE. THIS. So wonderfully written and full of wisdom.
    These are all things I’ve been working on a lot lately, and just when I think I’ve got one down, I notice myself feeling small, limited and unworthy again, and I realize it’s because I’m believing one of my many lies.

    It takes a lot of vigilance and self-awareness to notice the lies and to have the presence of mind to challenge them. Sometimes it just seems so much easier to accept them…BUT what a sad, lonely and confined life that would be. Some are harder to stop believing than others — I’ve done a pretty good job of brainwashing myself in some respects — but I keep trying.

    Thank you for putting it out in such a positive, optimistic way! I sense that you have journeyed, like we all have, to this realization. Sometimes I believe that our inner critic builds up a protective layer around us by telling us negative things BEFORE the inevitable outsiders will.

    Be happy, love yourself, know that you deserve the best of everything, and treat yourself well! These are the lessons I’ve learned.

    • Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow

      Aug 15, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      Hey,
      Merci!

      lt would definitely be easier to simply accept some of these lies – especially the ‘my circumstances are my problem’ lie but it would indeed be a dissatisfying life!

      Great lessons that you’ve learned! For me, loving yourself is also key to being happy!

      Thanks a lot for your comment!
      Maxine

  10. Liv

    Aug 12, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Along with the lies people often scare themselves away from starting anything new. Based of fear of failure and sometimes fear of success. Most never reach their full potential because they are afraid to start. Some think they are not capable,but most are capable but will never know because they were to afraid to begin.

    • JALAL KHAN

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:27 am

      A good article.
      Must read for any one who wants to stretch and go beyond comfort zone to succeed.

    • Maxine | The Leader of Tomorrow

      Aug 15, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Hey Liv,

      so true and also sad that most people don’t even give things a try and start. It’s amazing what people are capaple of if they just get going and keep pushing forward.

      Thanks for sharing!
      Maxine

      • ian

        Sep 18, 2014 at 6:13 pm

        Not sure to say this I ,am at my lowest even tried sucide. Nobody knows but I,am trying yet again but A small voice in my head is saying do not do this its not going to work. You see I went to the uk with the intention of earing a living am home again feel like I failed.Have An idea for a business Am currently working on it doing the relevant courses to get their.Hope this works for me

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

6 Signs That You’re Already the Master of Your Own Destiny

Published

on

destiny
Image Credit: Unsplash

You wake up early, grind, produce, and orient yourself to the best you can be every day. What if, just for today, you paused for a moment to honor how far you’ve come? How might it serve you and how you serve others if you just gave yourself praise for all the adversity you have met with open arms?

It can be distorting at times to take a level-headed assessment of how far we have come while on our journey to success and personal mastery. There is a renewed personal vitality and nourishment that occurs when we slow down and sit with personal praise for a moment.

With that, consider this the letter from the Robin to your Batman. This is your permission slip to realize fully that no matter where you’re at, that all your time and talents have gotten you this far, and that is something to celebrate!

When it comes to carving our higher selves out of the blood, sweat, and tears in applying courage towards our dreams, there is tremendous value in developing an intimate relationship with all the ways in which our mindset, values, behaviors, and perspective have shifted over time.

Here are the signs that you’re already the master of your own destiny:

1. You have moved past the tendency of judging others

Your baseline state is observing the nuances of a situation or interaction without projecting your thoughts, emotions, or insecurities onto others. The flexibility that is born from this skill of self-knowledge and emotional awareness is the bedrock and proof for how far you’ve come.

2. Relationships in your life are changing

You’re attracting relationships into your life that reflect your higher self and dropping those that no longer serve your best interests. If people start to fall out of your life, you no longer feel guilty or sad – you simply come to terms with this inevitable fact of personal evolution.

Everyone walks their own path here, and just because they no longer resonate with you, does not make them a bad person. It just means they too need to find others who share their vibration.

“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

3. You have become increasingly in tune with the emotional component of social skills

You think less, and you feel more. Humans are moved by emotion, so the more you become emotionally aware you are the more you can actualize your impact.

Ultimately, you understand the interconnectedness of being open to more of what is going on around you with how others are feeling and the emotions going on in yourself, so your leadership has become more inclusive and effective.

4. You believe you can inspire the world just by being who you authentically are

Sure, you have days of confusion and setbacks, and you still feel a form of relaxation when you’re tethered to the deep knowing that the more you share from a place of authenticity you give others permission to do the same. This belief opens the door to more intuitive listening to your gut. It also means you’re less attached to outcomes, which comes with it the sort of freedom only few people ever really experience.

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” – Marilyn Monroe

5. You are kind to yourself by honoring your integrity

This means not giving yourself a break to bail out on your word you give to yourself and others, and you do so from a place of compassion. You understand the difference between setting standards and your word to align with perfectionism compared to that which serves your dignity and the dignity of those around you.

This subtle wisdom in perspective can mean all the difference in creating your empire through burning out and maintaining peak performance over time, while truly enjoying the ride.

6. You prioritize self-care and personal recovery

Gone are the days of working hard and playing hard. Whether you experienced burnout in the past or have witnessed it in others, you are meticulous in your self-care strategies.

You’ve come to internalize the risks of working hard to build the life you want only to miss enjoying it because you succumbed to being plugged in around the clock.

You must prioritize all the following:

  • Meditation
  • Staying hydrated
  • Getting a good night’s sleep
  • Eating healthy in accordance to your body type and what it needs to stay optimized
  • Intimate connection with those you care about
  • Journaling to organize your thoughts
  • Creating healthy boundaries and saying no when appropriate

You deserve to be acknowledged, wherever you are on your journey. Don’t let the spell of personal improvement cloud your sense of personal mastery in the now.

Your destiny is relying on you to appreciate who you are at the core and share yourself with the world authentically. On some level, you can do that fully, right now. May this be an inspiration to press pause more often and honor yourself, in the name of falling in love with the process.

How do you spend your time relaxing in order to recharge yourself? Let us know what you do in the comments below!

Continue Reading

Life

How to Instantly Heighten Your Influence Through Effective Communication

Published

on

effective communication
Image Credit: Unsplash

As a practitioner and coach of NLP, I regularly experience people reaching out to me to work through a problem. While these issues range anywhere from a relational vendetta to a self-discovery impasse, roughly 90 percent of these hang-ups are centered around ineffective communication.

Now, I in no way claim to be an expert in this department. In fact, the more I dissect what I know to be true about communication, the more I realize I’m aloof to most of it. However, amongst the sea of pain and heartache, some common themes arose from the language and perceptions being opted for. These patterns clearly weren’t doing anyone any favors in the arenas of connection and influence and moreover, created a vague feeling of  —and  I use this term loosely — helplessness.

This isn’t exactly a surprise, as sharing and receiving ideas isn’t exactly our strong suit. Social issues, divorces, and violence can all be traced back to some type of breakdown in communication. Much of the world succumbs to a baseline of ineffective dialogue and we need an effective solution.

After just about every meaningful relationship in my life bit the dust, I woke up to a few painstakingly common denominators that were consistently tarnishing the effect I was having on people. Have a peek behind the curtain.

Here are four critical communication distinctions that will make an immediate impact with the people in your life:

1. Resist the urge to say “you”

Because of our overwhelming desire to be right — and therefore protected — we love sharing where the other person failed to meet our expectations. It’s common practice to pepper the phrases “you did this” or “you said that” throughout our explanation, as we want to reinforce how the other person made us feel.

This gets us absolutely nowhere and transforms the pre-existing chain-link fence into castle walls. By renouncing the use of “you”, the person’s nerves are calmed as the spotlight has been taken off of them—dissipating the feeling of being put on trial. The entire experience is now under consideration and they can sense you’ll be a little more objective in your drawing of conclusions.

“Communication- the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer

2. Use “what” instead of “why”

Questions can be the most powerful gateway to understanding what’s happening in another person’s world. However, we often jump the gun when it comes to dealing with communication breakdowns.

“Why” possesses far too much depth as an inquiry, often careening someone off an emotional cliff. It pierces the conscious mind and it typically elicits a sharp comment or cutting remark in response, capping a lid on the potential for forward momentum in the conversation. Most people would prefer walking into the ocean, as opposed to being dropped into shark-infested waters.

“What” is much more of a surface-level inquisition. It treads lightly and doesn’t require the other person to dig as deep in their explanation. “Why” confronts the individual, while “what” confronts the situation.

3. Resist over-identifying with what’s being said

Expecting someone else to base their every move around your feelings is a recipe for disaster. No one has a complete picture of reality but our continual sole reliance on our own subjective view robs us of being quality contributors to others — most notably, in our closest relationships.

It’s the difference between the spouse who yells and screams at their partner for coming home late versus the one that greets their partner with genuine concern and worry for their well-being. One is a focus on the short-term (the emotions that arose from the situation), while the other is a response to the long-term and what’s most important (the health of the individual).

Taking the “all things considered” approach will do you far more good than simply concerning yourself with your own feelings. After all, they aren’t always valid. Stop yourself from the knee-jerk reactions whenever curveballs get thrown your way and instead, take a look at the score, the inning, how many outs, and the men on base— then you can take a swing.

“Communication must be HOT. That’s Honest, Open, and Two-way.” – Dan Oswald

4. Understand that how you perceive the conversation is entirely one-dimensional

Words, tone, and body language can play serious tricks on us sometimes. Consider that it’s impossible to know the truth within a conversation, as the “truth” is contingent upon whose point of view you’re basing it off of.

When communication reaches a stopping point, it’s usually a result of neither party being willing to waver on their indifferences. Attachment and pride get in the way in many areas of life and communication is no exception. To truly understand another person and appreciate where they’re coming from, you must give up your point of view.

It allows you to be a clear space for their ideas and input—free from judgment or cynicism. You can literally create freedom for another human being simply by opting to remain stoic and allow them to try on their own opinion, instead of having to force it down someone else’s combative throat.

This doesn’t mean you agree with them or validate what they’re saying. It’s simply a matter of making an impact— people will not move for someone they don’t feel heard by. Giving up your position not only allows room to understand another person, it creates freedom to roam the meadow of new ideas. It shows you that you’re okay despite temporarily being of no position or stance.

Our ego thinks we can’t survive without a strong opinion etched firmly within our psyche. It’s up to you to show yourself that you don’t have to be held hostage to that opinion— for you can let go of it at any moment in lieu of what really makes the difference for people.

Continue Reading

Life

5 Ways Going Abroad Alone Increases Your Performance at Work

Published

on

traveling abroad
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

What is your first thought when one of your co-workers decides to take a two-week vacation abroad? Sure, now you have to work overtime in their absence, but would it be worth it if they came back better than ever? At a crossroads in my career, I decided to spend two weeks in South America to gain clarity about what I want to do with my life, and as great as this experience was for my personal growth, I underestimated how much this trip would impact my professional life.

Here are the 5 ways it changed my performance and how it can change your performance too:

1. You Learn to Build Relationships from Nothing

As important as your time alone is for your personal development, finding ways to effectively socialize while abroad is probably your greatest challenge. Solo traveling forces you into uncomfortable situations where you must find common ground with people who speak different languages, have different beliefs, and come from different backgrounds.

Traveling alone gets lonely with minimal socialization, and the way you learn to respond to challenging social moments oftentimes is the personal development you seek when choosing to travel alone.

The ability to introduce yourself to new people and build relationships quickly is a skill that translates immensely at work. Whether you are at a company event, meeting a new employee, or building a relationship with a client, your experience socializing abroad gives you a new confidence in your conversations.

2. You Gain Self-Awareness

When traveling alone, it is a gift and a curse that you make every decision for yourself. You very quickly learn more about the things that you enjoy doing and the ways that you like spending your day. Every decision you make offers immediate feedback that further reveals your priorities and preferences, and from that you gain a new sense of self-awareness.

Although self-awareness can be practiced deliberately, a foreign setting brings about organic opportunities to develop self-awareness through cultural and natural introspection.

Self-awareness is hugely valuable at work because it allows you to be more critical of yourself.  Being in tune with your skillset makes you a more productive and efficient member of your team.

By identifying your capabilities in different areas, you can focus on your role and add value in the way that is optimized for you. The first step is to understand more about yourself and what you offer, and travel is a great way to hone in on exactly that.

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?” – Marcus Aurelius

3. You Learn How to Take Ownership of Poor Results

When sharing any experience with another person, the blame, guilt, pride or triumph dilutes into the entire group. When traveling alone, however, everything that happens is directed back at you, and you are responsible for every consequence of the decisions you make. You must learn to take ownership of your own mistakes when abroad, and learn to manage negative situations proactively.

In the workplace, accepting fault is especially important because blame is a huge source of conflict, and can greatly affect your office relationships along with your team’s willingness to work with you.

Taking ownership might be a source of immediate animosity, but serves well in the long-term because it builds a foundation that will help you overcome issues that arise in the future.

On a personal development note, when perceiving the error as your own, you assume the role of correcting the system that caused the error and gain experience as an individual while setting the company up for success moving forward.

4. You Learn How to Problem Solve Independently

I’d be remiss to not mention that traveling alone is stressful. You need to navigate public transportation, manage travel itineraries, and book all accommodations, which is not easy to do solo. Nonetheless, this challenge is valuable, because it makes you practice new skills in a high-stakes environment along with growing a sense of autonomy.

Independent problem solving is an irreplaceable skill in business, and being capable of finding an answer to a tough question on your own saves your team from unneeded distractions. Alternatively, when a peer presents you with a difficult and important problem to solve, you now have more faith in your ability to come up with a creative solution.

The skill of solving problems for yourself is an asset at work, and can develop quickly when being alone while abroad.

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” – Duke Ellington

5. You Learn to Trust Your Own Impressions

As a solo-traveler, you have a lot of time to internalize everything you experience. Although I do suggest everyone keep a journal while they are traveling, your impressions are limited to your own vantage point. With this limited input, you begin to value your own instincts more than you did before.

In your job, trusting your own impressions will increase your productivity at work by accelerating your work-flow. Certain projects require that you just move forward, and instead of second guessing yourself, you will have more confidence that you can handle the task. Time abroad brings a new-found confidence in difficult situations that will manifest in all areas of your life.

Outside of the unmatchable personal exploration you experience while traveling alone, you develop certain traits that prove to be extremely beneficial in a professional setting. By learning to build better relationships, gain self-awareness, take ownership of poor results, solve problems on your own, and trust your own impressions, traveling abroad hands you a polished set of skills that can deployed upon your return.

Where do you want to travel to and why? Let us know where you want to go in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

How To Dramatically Improve Your Life In 2 Years.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash / Aaron Mello

You’re unlikely to change your life dramatically in a short space of time. Two years is a good number. It allows you enough time to experiment, execute and see the results.

In the last two years I’ve gone from not being able to do the following: speak publicly in front of a live audience, gain proper control of my health, control my anger, forgive people who did the wrong thing, find work I love and meet a girl who I could fall in love with.

Two years on, I’ve crushed each of these life goals. I feel like I haven’t just improved my life but that I’ve transformed it.

Here’s how you can do the same and improve your life:


Do one crazy thing.

The crazy thing I did was write down my fears and commit to knocking off at least one of them. The first one I went for was public speaking.

I began practicing in front of small crowds. Last week I spoke in front of eighty of the most senior managers in the company I work for and crushed it.

Tackling one fear became addictive and I ended up knocking over the whole list. The most difficult one was ending a more than ten-year family feud, so I could finally experience peace in my life again.

We all have one crazy thing that we’ve dreamed about and never taken action on. Dare to dream a little.

Find that one crazy thing and take one action towards overcoming the barriers that have stopped you in the past. Don’t let those excuses stop you anymore.

You need one event to trigger that transformation and then for the next two years you’ll have the momentum to get started on the rest of the suggestions I’m going to make below.


Prevent yourself from overthinking.

This guy sent me a note on LinkedIn. He had a dream of becoming a writer and he hadn’t executed for more than five years.

He sent me an article he wanted to post and asked if I could proofread it, provide feedback and then give him permission to publish it.

I was brutal with my response because I wanted him to win.

I told him “Stop overthinking and forget about asking for my permission.”

He ended up publishing his first article and not overthinking any longer. Before long, he’d published more articles in a few weeks, than he’d ever published in his entire life.

He’s well on his way to improving his life and doing what he loves because he stopped overthinking.

Many of you reading this article have the same sort of goals and have also been held back because of the following reasons:

1. You’re waiting for permission
2. You’re seeking perfection
3. You’re waiting for the right moment
4. You’re too busy with planning instead of executing

Screw all these excuses and just hit publish. Or just go for your goal. Or just make the investment. Or just attend the event.

Whatever your goal is, don’t allow yourself to think about it any longer.

Improving your life starts with executing — not thinking for years about it.


Look for quick wins.

The art of improving your life comes down a lot to how you feel. When you feel like your life is improving, you find this inner motivation that comes out of nowhere.

The way to get this boost in energy and thinking is to find some quick wins.

During my two-year journey, I threw out more than 50% of my belongings. It didn’t take me long to do, but it provided a tremendous quick win that I could build from.

Think carefully about one quick win you could execute on and then start taking one action daily towards achieving it. The smallest thing like making your bed every day will start you on a path of improving your life.


Consume less. Invest in yourself.

I mentioned before about getting rid of half my possessions. What I didn’t tell you is that I collected more than $20k from the sale of these useless items.

I then invested that money back into improving my life. I attended a couple of seminars; I put some of the money into a European holiday; I used some of the money to help others.

Many of you are consuming and buying things you don’t need. This leaves very little resources left to invest in yourself and your ability to grow and evolve.

“Change your spending habits from consuming products and over to investing in the growth of your goals. For you to improve, you must invest”


Find a way to share your thoughts.

Whatever your goal is in life, improving your life is best done by sharing your thoughts. I’ve chosen online channels to do this.

Over the last two years, I’ve shared my ideas and strategies with the world through Medium, Quora and LinkedIn.

By sharing my thoughts, people who think in a similar way have been attracted into my life. This has led me to consult for many companies that I previously could only have dreamt of working with.

Finding people like you who want the same things as you, and who you can collaborate with, first starts with sharing your thoughts.

The sharing of your thoughts is like a magnet that pulls in everything you’ve always needed and wanted in your life — the people, the ideas, the resources, the opportunities.


Build a diversified foundation of income.

For me, that looks like paid blogging, affiliate income, paid speaking gigs, consulting, a broad range of investments that compound year on year and 1 on 1 coaching.

Money is not the key to everything like many people think, but it will make the dramatic improvement your seeking even bigger.

Having diversified income means the following:

  • The risk of you losing your full-time job is much less painful
  • You’ll have money to invest in education and personal growth
  • When the next recession comes, you’ll be prepared
  • The ability for you to change directions in your career becomes easier
  • Diversified income usually leads to passive income (making money while you sleep)

Passive income is my favorite. Going back a few years now, I invested heavily into reading more than twenty books on investing.

I implemented the strategies and now I make some of my income while I sleep. Passive income requires a bit of effort up front, but it’s worth the time.


Read some life-changing books.

None of my two-year change would have been possible if I didn’t fill my big head with new ideas. My previous thinking about the concept of success was flawed.

“My previous vision for success focused heavily on taking from the world rather than giving back”

Below are four books I read that led to the dramatic change in my life:

Tribe Of Mentors
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Think And Grow Rich
Crushing It


Become really good at saying no.

A dramatic change in your life requires empty space to think and reflect. You’ll never get this time unless you get really good at saying no.

The more success you have in life, the more inbound requests you’ll get for your time. People will often want you to support their goals rather than offering you opportunities to support your goals.

Normally the first feeling you have when someone asks for your time is the correct one. Learn how to say no and always do so respectfully.


Do the right thing no matter what.

Incredible honesty and transparency in everything I’ve done over the last two years has helped me build up a team of allies who’ve taken my life much further than I could have ever expected — especially in the space of two years.

Doing the right thing will often mean that you could lose out in the short-term. That’s perfectly okay.

I’m aiming to set you up for long-term success and that means that how you act needs to be ethical.

“Dishonest people are quickly forgotten when there’s an incredible opportunity that is available”

By being overly transparent in business, I was able to build a list of customers who provided me with all the referrals I ever needed to grow my business.

I didn’t have to spend money on paid ads, PR or lead generation. Doing the right thing is always the right thing.


Stop saying yes to dumb stuff.

  • Gambling with your money
  • Get rich quick schemes
  • Material possessions you don’t need
  • Requests of your time that you regret shortly after

Final thought.

Dramatically improving your life is possible when you commit to being disciplined, go outside of what feels comfortable and serve people other than yourself.

Personal transformation is how you build momentum for everything in your life. It’s the foundation for your own definition of success.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Continue Reading

Trending