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After Tragedy: 4 Thoughts To Consider

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Last week was a tragic day for people that live in Melbourne, Australia. Lives were lost, and families were torn apart. We were reminded of just how close we can all come to death. Negativity struck again amongst a week filled with so much joy.

Everyone in Melbourne, including me, felt their heart sink as we rang our loved ones to make sure they were okay; as we desperately wanted to hear their voices.

As I texted my friends while gunshots happened close by, I was reminded of the terror that we can all face in nothing more than a split second. I said goodbye to an important client and had no idea that they were walking onto the street where terror was underway.

I thought to myself, as the event unfolded, “What if that’s the last time I see them? What if I had only spoken to them a bit longer rather than being in such a hurry to get to my next meeting?” Thankfully they were okay, but you never know.

My own mortality started to come into question. I too, like my client, was just about to step onto the street where people were being struck, and lives were being lost. If it weren’t for a colleague who stopped me in the corridor to chat, I would have been crossing the street at the exact moment that this devastating event unfolded.

Standing in the lobby, I saw many of my work colleagues run past me crying. They looked like they had just seen the most horrific event of their life – and they had. Amongst the madness of yesterday there are lessons to be learned

After tragedy, here are 4 thoughts to consider:

 

Thought #1 – We’re guaranteed only of this moment

An event like the one I’ve just described can happen at any time. None of us are guaranteed another breath. Tragedy is not designed to scare us; it’s designed to remind us of how important it is to be present.

We’re only on this planet for a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things, and we forget that so easily.

 

Thought # 2 – Perspective is crucial

Instead of rushing out the door and being in a hurry to get to work, be grateful and tell your family how much you love them. Don’t forget how lucky you are even to have loved ones to care for.

A sense of perspective in your life is crucial. The person that cut you off in traffic or the one who went two minutes over in a meeting room you had booked, doesn’t really matter. Reacting to everything that comes into your line of vision will destroy your energy levels and force you to lose perspective.

Refocus your newfound energy from non-reactivity into energy that can be used to enhance the time with the people you really care about. Tragic events can remind us of what we should focus on, but it’s not enough and can be easily forgotten when the sadness subsides.

 

Thought # 3 – Don’t let this negative world win

What happened yesterday is a one-off incident. Every other day there are people getting married, babies being born, people realizsing their passion, and new lovers sharing a first kiss. This negative world and these one-off horrors can get you down if you let it.

We can decide to live in fear because of a few isolated, negative events, or we can rise up. We can become what we’ve always dreamt of and use these tragic events as fuel to our fire. We can stop procrastinating on what we should be doing and get on with our life’s purpose.

There’s so much good in the world. It’s just that the light doesn’t get shown on all of this positivity because it’s in overwhelming abundance. Negative events like the one above are actually very rare.

Anything that is rare is more likely to gain attention. Attention equals influence, and influence equals a powerful tool that can be used for the wrong reasons. I’ve always believed that attention and influence should be used for good and to help everyone around you rise up.

 

Thought # 4 – Compassion

When you think you got it bad, you don’t. Sitting here writing this blog post makes me realise that while I sip my overpriced tea and prepare for an entertaining evening, there are families right now dealing with the loss of a loved one.

These families are asking themselves the question, “Why now? Why did it have to happen this way? If only I did ‘X’ differently this may not have happened.”

In times of tragedy, we can practice the art of giving and go and help in some small way. Maybe it’s showing your support for the lives that have been affected. Maybe it’s buying some food for the emergency services people who worked through the night. Maybe it’s something as simple as showing a sign of respect and attending the various funerals.

When you show empathy for others, you reinforce a sense of abundance in your own mind. Your success is not about you; it’s about other people. Remember that.

For once, it’s time we stick together as a united community rather than judge. Forget about where we all come from, what color our skin is, who may have been criminally responsible, or anything else we could be doing right now. WE MUST UNITE WHEN TRAGEDY STRIKES!

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Stefanie

    Feb 7, 2017 at 5:27 am

    Hi Tim, your thoughts made me feel moved and so sorry for the families that lost a loved one. At the same time, I agree that it’s important to ask yourself about the lessons.
    As you say, we tend to forget them because we let small incidents take away precious energy from us. For me, your thoughts were a reminder to not get lost in emotions that don’t serve me but rather take a step back and change my perspective when things don’t go the way I expected. And most important, come back again and again to feeling present. Thank you for sharing.

    • Tim Denning

      Feb 19, 2017 at 5:22 am

      Stefanie thanks for sharing your thoughts and I’m glad you got the intent of the article 🙂

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Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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