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9 Ways To Encourage Yourself When Life Comes Crashing Down

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There are those life-changing moments that each of us face in our lives, which makes us question our existence. Circumstances out of our control that overwhelm us and feel hopeless about the future.

For me, it was a divorce, losing a house and leaving a career that I had worked hard to achieve. For you, it may be a breakup, loss or other painful life event. You never saw it coming and now that it has wrecked your life, you have no idea what’s next.

Here are 9 reminders to help encourage you when your life comes crashing down:   

1. It can’t get any worse

If everything is falling apart and you’re experiencing the most profound pain you’ve experienced, know that it can’t get any worse. You’ve likely hit rock bottom; there’s no further down to go. And when you are down in life, the only place you can go is up. Breathe a sigh of relief at life’s worst point; it can only get better from here.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius

2. You’ve come back from this before

Maybe not this painful or devastating, but you’ve come through this in your life before. When your back was against the wall and you didn’t feel like you had a future, you stepped up to the occasion and succeeded. You have the experience, tools and habit of resiliency to turn your life back around.

 

3There is a lesson waiting for you here

There is a lesson, insight or growth waiting for you as you pull through. Your job is to find the meaning and the purpose of this pain. You may have a story to tell. This life circumstance may give you a message to share. This circumstance is your teacher, test and grade. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What can this teach me?” Ace the lesson that life’s teaching.

 

4. Everything is temporary

Yes, everything.  All circumstances, all pain and all hardship are temporary. Everything comes into your life and everything goes away. The challenges you are facing today will eventually disappear. The pain will lessen and tears will dry up. Your only job is to preserve each day until you get to a better day.

 

5. Success comes after failure

The good news is that failure is the breeding ground for success. Only when you find out what doesn’t work can you find out what does. After failing in a business, relationship or life goal, you would gain the experience and knowledge to do it better the next time around. The more you fail and the quicker you fail at life, the more experienced you become at navigating hardships and winning your life.

 

6. It gets better tomorrow

No matter how bad things are today, the sun will rise again tomorrow.  You can welcome in new circumstances, new perspectives and a new day. Each day will bring new promises and hope, so hang on. Do the work you need to get through each day and also know brighter days are on the horizon.

 

7This is your wake-up call

You may have been afraid to make changes or take a risk. This situation could be the unwanted but necessary wake-up call you needed in life. What do you need to know? What changes need to be made? What growth awaits you? What were you ignoring or not accepting in your life? How will you change now that it’s become more apparent and you’re more aware?

“Sometimes it takes a wake-up call, doesn’t it, to alert us to the fact that we’re hurrying through our lives instead of actually living them; that we’re living the fast life instead of the good life. And I think, for many people, that wake-up call takes the form of an illness.” – Carl Honore

8. This is your reset button

Ever wanted to start over but didn’t know how? Maybe you were in a unfulfilling relationship or in a career you hated. You always were wondering how to get out of it but had no options. Now that life has made the decisions for you, your job is to embrace the changes and make plans to start over. The best place to start anew and figure out a new life plan is when your life has fallen apart. This is your chance to start over from a blank slate.

 

9. There are rays of hope in the darkness

With every negative situation and dark life circumstance, there is a ray of hope in the distance.  Instead of worry and fear, focus on what you can be grateful for today. What can you be thankful for today? What is the positive in the situation? How can this break in your favor?

How can life or the circumstances turn out better than what you can possibly imagine? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Vishnu Virtues is the writer behind the popular personal growth and spirituality blog for people starting over in life. You can find his weekly blog posts at www.vishnusvirtues.com and his Amazon books on love and relationships here.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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