Life
7 Tips On How To Win Back What Fear Stole From You

What have you allowed fear to take from you? Was it your dream? Was it your happiness? Did you then just give up everything so easily to fear without even putting up a fight?
We all are guilty of giving in to fear at some point in our lives. We all feel fear, but unfortunately fear is like the boogie man that haunts us if we aren’t mature enough to understand that it is not that creepy.
Fear helps protect us. You feel fear when you are not in a safe place. It is that emotion telling you to get away quickly because something isn’t right. Fear is our guide, but one that if not managed properly can become our greatest stumbling block to achieving our goals.
When you view your goals in terms of what you will lose instead of all that you have to gain if you face those fears, you are in a preventative mode. You now want to play it safe. You work hard to avoid making mistakes. You fight to hold on to what little you think you have. Your fear of failure exceeds your desire to succeed.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
On the other hand, if you see yourself gaining more should you face your fears you are in a success driven mode. You are more focused on getting ahead and willing to take the risk. You see the risk as worth it. You are no longer afraid of failing as your need for success exceeds your fear of failing.
I want you to get to the stage where you will be more focused on what you will gain instead of what you will lose. Today is the day to confront your fears. Today is the day you will become success focus. No more will you allow fear to boss you around and rob you of what is rightfully yours. You are in control of your life and not fear. Stand up to fear and reclaim your life.
Here are 7 tips to fight back and win:
1. Quit thinking too much about what others think
Many of us spend so much time thinking about what others think of us that we allow the fear of what they think, prevent us from going after our dreams. The scary thing is that most people do not even think about you and they do not care. Decide what needs to be done and do it. The moment you refuse to care about what others think of you is the day you will start to succeed.
2. Quit procrastinating
We allow fear to keep us procrastinating. We will get to it sometime but now is not the right time. There will never be a perfect time to do anything. You must be willing to make the time. The most difficult thing to do is to get started. Once you take the first step, you will develop momentum. Keep working even when you do not feel like doing so.
3. Do not allow fear to tell you that you aren’t good enough
Fear has a way of working in the vulnerable areas of our lives. Fear knows your weaknesses. It tries to break down your confidence; it feeds on your insecurities. You are not the only one with issues. Yes, you do not know everything nor do you have it all together but if you are prepared to work hard, you will get ahead. You have enough in you to achieve any goal you set for yourself.
4. Quit telling yourself you are going to fail
How do you know you are going to fail if you haven’t even made an attempt? If you haven’t made an attempt then indeed you have failed. Do not allow the fear of failing to prevent you from going after your dreams. Give it your best and never quit until you’ve achieved success.
“Do what you fear and fear disappears.” – David Joseph Schwartz
5. Do not allow fear to convince you that you do not have what it takes
Too many of us will never reach our full potential because we allow fear to secretly convince us that we do not have what it takes. How sad is that, when whatever you do not know right now you can learn. There are so many resources available to you. All you need right now is the determination and the willingness to do the work. The more you practice your skills, the better you become.
6. Do not allow fear to tell you that it’s too late
It is never too late to achieve your dreams. If your dream is to go back to school, and you are 50 years old, then it is your time now. Fear has a way of trying to convince you that the time has run out on you attaining your goals. How can it be too late when the dream is yours, and you haven’t achieved it yet?
7. Do not let fear tell you that you can’t change
One of the major requirements for achieving one’s goal is the need for flexibility. You must be willing to change. Change is good, and anyone can change at any time. You only have to desire the need to change. If you need to get up earlier to study because your goal is to take classes you only need to program your schedule to be able to accommodate your study time. People are constantly changing, and you are changing whether you want to or not so you might as well change to do what you want.
“To fight fear, act. To increase fear – wait, put off, postpone.” – David Joseph Schwartz
Fear has a way of trying to be bigger than it is. Once you confront your fears, you will never allow it to scare you that much again. Fear appears bigger and more powerful than it truly is. You only have to decide to face those fears, and it loses it power and its hold on you. It is normal to feel fear, but you should never allow it to stand in your way of reaching your goals.
Which one of these fears holds you back the most?
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
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Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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