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7 Tips On How To Win Back What Fear Stole From You

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7 Tips On How To Win Back What Fear Stole From You

What have you allowed fear to take from you?  Was it your dream?  Was it your happiness?  Did you then just give up everything so easily to fear without even putting up a fight?

We all are guilty of giving in to fear at some point in our lives. We all feel fear, but unfortunately fear is like the boogie man that haunts us if we aren’t mature enough to understand that it is not that creepy.

Fear helps protect us.  You feel fear when you are not in a safe place.  It is that emotion telling you to get away quickly because something isn’t right.  Fear is our guide, but one that if not managed properly can become our greatest stumbling block to achieving our goals.

When you view your goals in terms of what you will lose instead of all that you have to gain if you face those fears, you are in a preventative mode.  You now want to play it safe.  You work hard to avoid making mistakes.  You fight to hold on to what little you think you have.  Your fear of failure exceeds your desire to succeed.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

On the other hand, if you see yourself gaining more should you face your fears you are in a success driven mode.  You are more focused on getting ahead and willing to take the risk.  You see the risk as worth it.  You are no longer afraid of failing as your need for success exceeds your fear of failing.

I want you to get to the stage where you will be more focused on what you will gain instead of what you will lose.  Today is the day to confront your fears.  Today is the day you will become success focus.  No more will you allow fear to boss you around and rob you of what is rightfully yours.  You are in control of your life and not fear.  Stand up to fear and reclaim your life.

Here are 7 tips to fight back and win:

 

1. Quit thinking too much about what others think

Many of us spend so much time thinking about what others think of us that we allow the fear of what they think, prevent us from going after our dreams.  The scary thing is that most people do not even think about you and they do not care. Decide what needs to be done and do it.  The moment you refuse to care about what others think of you is the day you will start to succeed.

 

2. Quit procrastinating

We allow fear to keep us procrastinating.  We will get to it sometime but now is not the right time. There will never be a perfect time to do anything.  You must be willing to make the time. The most difficult thing to do is to get started.  Once you take the first step, you will develop momentum. Keep working even when you do not feel like doing so.

 

3. Do not allow fear to tell you that you aren’t good enough

Fear has a way of working in the vulnerable areas of our lives.  Fear knows your weaknesses.  It tries to break down your confidence; it feeds on your insecurities.  You are not the only one with issues.  Yes, you do not know everything nor do you have it all together but if you are prepared to work hard, you will get ahead.  You have enough in you to achieve any goal you set for yourself.

 

4. Quit telling yourself you are going to fail

How do you know you are going to fail if you haven’t even made an attempt?  If you haven’t made an attempt then indeed you have failed.  Do not allow the fear of failing to prevent you from going after your dreams.  Give it your best and never quit until you’ve achieved success.

“Do what you fear and fear disappears.” – David Joseph Schwartz

5. Do not allow fear to convince you that you do not have what it takes

Too many of us will never reach our full potential because we allow fear to secretly convince us that we do not have what it takes.  How sad is that, when whatever you do not know right now you can learn. There are so many resources available to you.  All you need right now is the determination and the willingness to do the work.  The more you practice your skills, the better you become.

 

6. Do not allow fear to tell you that it’s too late

It is never too late to achieve your dreams. If your dream is to go back to school, and you are 50 years old, then it is your time now.  Fear has a way of trying to convince you that the time has run out on you attaining your goals.  How can it be too late when the dream is yours, and you haven’t achieved it yet?

 

7. Do not let fear tell you that you can’t change

One of the major requirements for achieving one’s goal is the need for flexibility.  You must be willing to change.  Change is good, and anyone can change at any time.  You only have to desire the need to change.  If you need to get up earlier to study because your goal is to take classes you only need to program your schedule to be able to accommodate your study time.  People are constantly changing, and you are changing whether you want to or not so you might as well change to do what you want.

“To fight fear, act. To increase fear – wait, put off,  postpone.” – David Joseph Schwartz

Fear has a way of trying to be bigger than it is. Once you confront your fears, you will never allow it to scare you that much again.  Fear appears bigger and more powerful than it truly is.  You only have to decide to face those fears, and it loses it power and its hold on you.  It is normal to feel fear, but you should never allow it to stand in your way of reaching your goals.

Which one of these fears holds you back the most?

Rose Costas is a big believer in the power of facing your challenges head on and then boldly wear your scars to show others that they too can be triumphant.  She is an accountant by profession with a new found passion for blogging and a future author and best seller. You can received her amazing free Ebook  “34 Ways to Build Your Confidence Today”.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Stephanie

    Jan 22, 2016 at 6:41 pm

    Great article… I feel like it was written for me and exactly what I needed today ! Thanks!!

  2. Marcie

    Nov 6, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    This is a great article, Rose. I read it to my mother and she loved it!

    • Rose Costas

      Nov 9, 2015 at 4:07 am

      Thanks Marcie. This is a topic we can all relate to and hopefully the tips will help to make your life better. We are all learning and it is important to remember that, there is nothing you cannot do if you truly want to.

  3. Arran Toat

    Oct 30, 2015 at 11:59 pm

    Do not let fear to paralyze and kill you.

    • Rose Costas

      Nov 1, 2015 at 8:47 pm

      Thanks Arran. You only have to decide to forge ahead even when you are scared to death.

  4. BCollins

    Oct 29, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    great article Rose! Fear can destroy us and cause many problems in our life. Even family members and friends can cause doubt in us and can lead to fear. If you believe in yourself, you always can conquer fear. Keep up the good
    work

    • Rose Costas

      Oct 30, 2015 at 6:13 am

      Thanks Bill you are absolutely right on that. We have to be constantly on the look for things and people who sometimes innocently can derail our dreams.

  5. Lance

    Oct 29, 2015 at 11:52 am

    Thanks for this article Rose!

    This is great timing for myself to come across your article. I’ve been working on some big projects that have been pretty intimidating, so I’ve been struggling with procrastination.
    But after reading this I feel more suited to take on each task

    Also, something that has really helped me out when it comes to getting over initial fear is affirmations. Very positive affects on the sub-conscience mind… Thanks again!

    • Rose Costas

      Oct 30, 2015 at 6:17 am

      Thanks Lance. That was the intention. We all go through times when we question our abilities and or procrastinate because deep down we either believe we do not have it within us or isn’t capable. The good news is every day is a new day to start. You just need to decide that you want it and want it badly enough to go out and get it. I trust you will start your projects and a year or two from now reflect on how much you have achieved. Good luck

  6. Isaiah Jackson

    Oct 27, 2015 at 11:59 pm

    Hey Rose,

    Awesome post and a quick read.

    Can I add another tip?

    Convince yourself that fear doesn’t exist, only feedback.

    Isaiah Jackson.

    • Rose Costas

      Oct 28, 2015 at 4:56 am

      Isaiah you are absolutely right. once we take fear out of the equation then things tend to fall into place pretty easily. Fear has attached to it nervousness, anxiety and a host of other feelings that distorts our minds and prevent us from thinking clearly and doing the things that would bring us the results we need.

  7. Dotchamou Zakari

    Oct 27, 2015 at 9:28 pm

    I think that people who really want to succeed shall train themselves to be courageous in face of a great challenge. Your post is helpful , These two quotes are my favorite on “fear”
    “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela
    “Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.” Dan Brown

    • Rose Costas

      Oct 27, 2015 at 10:42 pm

      Thank you Dotchamou for those two great quotes. You are absolutely right when the desire to succeed out weights your fear you will go after your dream without hesitation. Thanks again

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3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work

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How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.

You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.

Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?

The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:

  • I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
  • I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
  • I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal. 

It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.

Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.

Can you train or recharge your willpower?

A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.

The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.

Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:

1. Focused breathing

Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.

You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.

2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal

According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.

You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.

3. Taking cold showers

Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.

High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.

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