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7 Super Powers of Highly Conscious, Spiritual People in Relationships

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How we are taught to approach relationships means they are often the most fraught and challenging area of human existence. The good news is if we are willing to become self-aware, other possibilities exist for the way we connect to and exist with others.

I’ve been blessed to get to know many beautiful people at different places on their journey towards consciousness and to study some pretty cool tools and resources around this topic too. As a result, I’ve noticed seven aspects or super powers that highly conscious individuals appear to have honed within themselves with regards to their relationships.

These facets of relating, blow our past human conditioning out of the water as these inspiring individuals give us all permission to break the mould and seek out and create relationship experiences that until recently most of us could only dream of.

Here are the 7 super powers of highly conscious, spiritual people in a relationship:

1. Women don’t make men wrong

As the amazing Gary Douglas says “Women are by and large conditioned to make men wrong for EVERYTHING”. When I first realized this and put it into practice in my relationship at the time, things sure changed for me.

We have almost an endemic mindset in our culture of blaming and making men wrong and it’s surprising how sneaky and strongly engrained this is. When we stop blaming men, they feel safe and are willing to be vulnerable, building a stronger, more powerful connection with us.

TIP: If you didn’t make your man wrong for anything what would that create in your relationship?

2. Men fully support their partners in all that they do

Conscious men realize how phenomenal their partners are in every respect. Dealing with their body’s monthly cycles, working in a job where perhaps they don’t get paid as much as their male colleagues and being accomplished, sexy and caring goddesses at home and work.  

These men offer real support, because they want to facilitate their partner’s highest good and they care deeply and see that the old status quo in relationships is imbalanced and doesn’t work.

When a woman receives this level of support, there is nothing she wouldn’t do for her man and closeness and intimacy can flourish.

TIP: What can you do today that would facilitate your partner to have more ease and support her purpose and highest good?

“To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return.” – Madonna

3. Don’t take responsibility for another’s feelings

Empathy involves energetically following our partner down the rabbit hole to show how much we care. Super heroes of relationship know that when we sympathize with anyone’s lows, we make them significant and dis-empower them further.

Instead, they have their partner’s back by holding and maintaining an expanded, loving space for them, so they can step back up when they are ready. This is not a by-pass, but a conscious choice. It takes practice and inner work to hold space for another whilst being in allowance of ourselves and staying awesome.

TIP: Having your partner’s back whilst holding fast to your own happy place and encouraging them up there with you is the way to go.

4. Don’t betray themselves to make others happy

How many times have you given up valuable parts of yourself to make your partner happy? How did that work out for you. Super conscious people detest this self-sacrificing, fallacy of love.

Although flexible, creative, solution oriented and loving, these folks know that compromising themselves, their time, choices and values for others happiness is an illusion and a trap which breeds resentment, lessens respect and ultimately destroys love.

TIP: Retaining our integrity and self-kindness allows us to be the happiest, most loving partner we are capable of being.  

5. Form relationships based on powerful connection, not shared experiences

When with someone who is our vibrational equivalent we feel connected to them on all levels. It’s like the molecules around us are supporting that connection, providing a sense of communion with life itself that feels aligned and powerful.

When un-aware, we generally form connections from shared experiences or pain points. This is a draw card for unhealed stuff to play out, delivering a learning rather than loving experience.

We all chose a lot of learning experiences. I have had many. Although painful at the time, they delivered what I required to ultimately become more self-aware and thrive.

TIP: Understanding and exploring communion vs connection for you in all your relationships can be freeing and empowering.

6. Envision and contribute to the evolution a caring, conscious society that supports healthy relationships

In our fast paced survival oriented societies, unrealistic pressure is put on love relationships and there is frequently the expectation that one person will provide us with everything. This is unhealthy and unrealistic.

Self-aware people see a different possibility where everyone is empowered and people are loving and kind towards all. From that place, ‘romantic’ partnerships are less of a crutch and more of a choice. Being partnered up is less significant and connections are freer, more fluid and generative.

TIP: How can you contribute to everyone around to facilitate more awareness and light on the planet? What would this create in your world and your relationships?

“Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.” – Walter Winchell

7. Understand the difference between ‘Holding a hand and chaining a soul’

Conscious maestros know that the purpose of a relationship is growth and expansion and if their partner outgrows them at any time, they would be delighted for the other person, rather than bummed out for themselves.

They are aware that their partner is a soul in a body having a human experience and that souls, bodies and beings are autonomous and don’t belong to anyone. This is true caring and love and flies in the face of all we’ve brought as real and true around relationship where expectations, rules and social norms apply.

TIP: What outdated and unhelpful relationship patterns and beliefs are you still playing out that are limiting you and your partner’s expansion? How can you change these starting now?

What are you doing today to live a healthier and happier relationship? Leave your thoughts below!

Rose Aitken is a Global Empowerment Coach and Facilitator of Change living in Nelson, New Zealand. Rose loves working in that zone where psychology, science and spirituality intersect to create rapid and profound breakthroughs for her clients. You can apply to work with Rose here or download her free e-book here. When not at work Rose is travelling and attending personal development classes, hiking in the hills or hanging out with friends.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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