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7 Super Powers of Highly Conscious, Spiritual People in Relationships

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How we are taught to approach relationships means they are often the most fraught and challenging area of human existence. The good news is if we are willing to become self-aware, other possibilities exist for the way we connect to and exist with others.

I’ve been blessed to get to know many beautiful people at different places on their journey towards consciousness and to study some pretty cool tools and resources around this topic too. As a result, I’ve noticed seven aspects or super powers that highly conscious individuals appear to have honed within themselves with regards to their relationships.

These facets of relating, blow our past human conditioning out of the water as these inspiring individuals give us all permission to break the mould and seek out and create relationship experiences that until recently most of us could only dream of.

Here are the 7 super powers of highly conscious, spiritual people in a relationship:

1. Women don’t make men wrong

As the amazing Gary Douglas says “Women are by and large conditioned to make men wrong for EVERYTHING”. When I first realized this and put it into practice in my relationship at the time, things sure changed for me.

We have almost an endemic mindset in our culture of blaming and making men wrong and it’s surprising how sneaky and strongly engrained this is. When we stop blaming men, they feel safe and are willing to be vulnerable, building a stronger, more powerful connection with us.

TIP: If you didn’t make your man wrong for anything what would that create in your relationship?

2. Men fully support their partners in all that they do

Conscious men realize how phenomenal their partners are in every respect. Dealing with their body’s monthly cycles, working in a job where perhaps they don’t get paid as much as their male colleagues and being accomplished, sexy and caring goddesses at home and work.  

These men offer real support, because they want to facilitate their partner’s highest good and they care deeply and see that the old status quo in relationships is imbalanced and doesn’t work.

When a woman receives this level of support, there is nothing she wouldn’t do for her man and closeness and intimacy can flourish.

TIP: What can you do today that would facilitate your partner to have more ease and support her purpose and highest good?

“To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return.” – Madonna

3. Don’t take responsibility for another’s feelings

Empathy involves energetically following our partner down the rabbit hole to show how much we care. Super heroes of relationship know that when we sympathize with anyone’s lows, we make them significant and dis-empower them further.

Instead, they have their partner’s back by holding and maintaining an expanded, loving space for them, so they can step back up when they are ready. This is not a by-pass, but a conscious choice. It takes practice and inner work to hold space for another whilst being in allowance of ourselves and staying awesome.

TIP: Having your partner’s back whilst holding fast to your own happy place and encouraging them up there with you is the way to go.

4. Don’t betray themselves to make others happy

How many times have you given up valuable parts of yourself to make your partner happy? How did that work out for you. Super conscious people detest this self-sacrificing, fallacy of love.

Although flexible, creative, solution oriented and loving, these folks know that compromising themselves, their time, choices and values for others happiness is an illusion and a trap which breeds resentment, lessens respect and ultimately destroys love.

TIP: Retaining our integrity and self-kindness allows us to be the happiest, most loving partner we are capable of being.  

5. Form relationships based on powerful connection, not shared experiences

When with someone who is our vibrational equivalent we feel connected to them on all levels. It’s like the molecules around us are supporting that connection, providing a sense of communion with life itself that feels aligned and powerful.

When un-aware, we generally form connections from shared experiences or pain points. This is a draw card for unhealed stuff to play out, delivering a learning rather than loving experience.

We all chose a lot of learning experiences. I have had many. Although painful at the time, they delivered what I required to ultimately become more self-aware and thrive.

TIP: Understanding and exploring communion vs connection for you in all your relationships can be freeing and empowering.

6. Envision and contribute to the evolution a caring, conscious society that supports healthy relationships

In our fast paced survival oriented societies, unrealistic pressure is put on love relationships and there is frequently the expectation that one person will provide us with everything. This is unhealthy and unrealistic.

Self-aware people see a different possibility where everyone is empowered and people are loving and kind towards all. From that place, ‘romantic’ partnerships are less of a crutch and more of a choice. Being partnered up is less significant and connections are freer, more fluid and generative.

TIP: How can you contribute to everyone around to facilitate more awareness and light on the planet? What would this create in your world and your relationships?

“Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.” – Walter Winchell

7. Understand the difference between ‘Holding a hand and chaining a soul’

Conscious maestros know that the purpose of a relationship is growth and expansion and if their partner outgrows them at any time, they would be delighted for the other person, rather than bummed out for themselves.

They are aware that their partner is a soul in a body having a human experience and that souls, bodies and beings are autonomous and don’t belong to anyone. This is true caring and love and flies in the face of all we’ve brought as real and true around relationship where expectations, rules and social norms apply.

TIP: What outdated and unhelpful relationship patterns and beliefs are you still playing out that are limiting you and your partner’s expansion? How can you change these starting now?

What are you doing today to live a healthier and happier relationship? Leave your thoughts below!

Rose Aitken is a Mentor and Blogger who facilitates women (and sometimes men) wanting greater fulfillment, joy and success to achieve this, by creating Radical Ease in their lives. She shows them how to access and align with their higher wisdom to feel empowered and aware and how they can change the energy of anything not serving them, to generate phenomenal lives and futures. Rose runs a thriving Mentoring and healing practice from her studio in Nelson City, New Zealand, from where she gets much of her inspiration for her writing.  She teaches classes in Access Consciousness and creates her own classes that are centered in that magical place where science, psychology and spirituality intersect. You can apply to work with rose here http://roseaitken.com/complimentary-energy-assessment/ or connect with her at easeplease@roseaitken.com.

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2 Comments

  1. Rose Aitken

    May 4, 2017 at 7:53 pm

    Hi Nelu,
    Thanks for your comment!
    No one said anything about disregarding others thoughts and feelings. It’s a given that we stay in our integrity and kindness within our relationships.
    My point is about the fact that when someone close to us is challenged or going through stuff, we dis-empower them further by doing empathy and sympathy and going into their story with them. This may not be a common notion or a popular one. It’s not about taking a by-pass, it is a learned technique where we hold space for the person instead, allowing them to choose differently.

  2. Nelu Mbingu

    May 4, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    I hope your third point doesn’t mean people should have complete disregard for the thoughts and feelings of others. I don’t think anyone has to take on the responsibility for someone else’s happiness, but if you can avoid hurting someone unnecessarily then you should. I don’t think it’s okay, for instance, to tell someone they do look fat in those jeans if that will hurt them unnecessarily. You know what I mean?

    I don’t know if I’m making sense, but thanks for sharing, Rose.

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Life

I Want To Be Happy – Only With You

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I only want to be happy with you.

I want you to find love and not be single for the rest of your life because you’ve told me how much you want to settle down and have a family one-day. I know how much you enjoy the company of an intelligent partner who knows how to have a proper conversation. I want to be that partner.

I want you to have time to talk before breakfast and enjoy a healthy meal with me, so you have loads of energy to live your day with passion. I want you to have time to tell me about your workday and what inspired you. I want to hear about how you’ve empowered others to chase their dreams.

I want you to tell me about how you went for drinks after work and had way too many red wines. To tell me the smallest detail about your day knowing that I will still be fascinated because of how much I care about you.

I want to smile when I get a message from you knowing that you inserted the maximum amount of emoji’s and that I will do my best to compete and add in more with my own reply. I’ll try my best to add in even more crazy emoji’s so that you have to think very carefully about what I am trying to say and what each emoji means. Our emoji game can be like a never-ending puzzle that we spend the rest of our lives trying to solve.

I want us to travel all around the world and experience new cultures together. I want us to go to places that scare the hell out of us and defy the ridiculous terrorism warnings that stop people going to beautiful cities like Paris.

“I don’t want us to live in fear; I want us to live with passion”

As part of that travel dream, I want to whisk you away when you least expect it and take you somewhere that will help you remember me forever, even after I’m gone. I want you to have one special place where you can remember me for a single moment and know that I will always be with you. I want that place to make us both smile when we think of it. I want to make these crazy dreams with you.

I want you to feel like you can do whatever you want and there is nothing holding you back. I want you to feel as free as a bird flying over the sea without a care in the world. I want you to know that I will always move obstacles out of your way so you can feel that sense of freedom.

I want to stay home from work when you have the flu and make you yummy soup, even if it means I get sick with you, and we both have to stay home. I want to take you to the doctor’s office when you’re unwell and conquer any medical issue with you. I want us always to believe in hope if the worst happens.

I want to be there for you no matter what.

When our parents are eventually gone one day, I want us both to never forget them. To never forget the dreams they had for our lives and the difference they made. While they may not have got everything always right, they did their best. We’ve both had struggles with a difficult sibling, but that’s not their fault. For their sake, we will do our best to have a relationship with our siblings even if it’s hard. The result of that struggle is the one thing that would make both of our parents proud and we owe them that at the very least.

I may be still single right now, but one day I will find you and we will live happily ever after. That’s a promise to you and to my future self.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

3 Ways You Can Awaken Your Positive Spirit

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It’s 5:30 in the morning, your alarm rings. Do you feel like waking up? Heck no! The pillow is your best friend and at this moment, you wouldn’t mind breaking your phone to shut it up. Nonetheless, responsibilities are calling you. You roll out of bed, making it all the way to the bathroom. It takes you one shower and a giant cup of coffee to wake up.

You hit the road. No gas in the car and you are already running late. You stop at the gas station, rush in the door when you realize you forgot your wallet at home. Current mood: the bomb before the explosion approached by the mental breakdown. Can you resonate?

So, here comes the question. What do you do when nothing seems to go right? Do you bow your head down and get into “Why is this happening to me” mindset? Or do you step up and look at the bright side even when it is hard to spot it?

A positive attitude is a heartwarming topic for me because, for many years, I lived on the negative side. Only by experiencing pain and emptiness, did I start to understand the power of positive thinking in life. The best part is, you can make this switch too.

Here are 3 ways you can awaken your positive spirit in any negative moment:

1. Motion Creates Emotion

Imagine your regular day. You wake up, get ready and head to work. Throughout the day, you deal with all kinds of problems and challenges. Deadlines for your big projects are catching up and your mom just called you, crying that her dog is sick and it doesn’t look good. You work your butt off and by 5pm you are in something that I call exhaustion state. But wait, there is a gym hang out tonight at 7 pm. You already promised your buddy John that you will be there so you show up.

You grab your headset and step on the running belt while playing your favorite song or compilation of motivational speeches. Within 15 minutes of motion, you are feeling better. Your pulse is rising and you start running faster. After 30 minutes of motion and intense exercise, the entire exhaustion is gone and you feel great. Suddenly, the day doesn’t seem so bad and you feel pretty good about yourself. How come? Because of motion.

Every motion creates emotion. One of the things I started to do when I felt under the weather was to exercise or jump and say YES for 60 seconds. I put my hands up like a champ who just won the gold cup and smile. Of course, it looks totally crazy so you won’t see me doing it but the change of my mental state happens in an instant.

“I’m not going to get somewhere and say, ‘OK, I’m done.’ Success is never final; I’ll just keep on going. The same way as failure never being fatal. Just keep going. I’m going to the stars and then past them.” – Conor McGregor

2. Positivity Focus

Let’s take a look at this scenario. One day, two big events. The first is good. You finally closed that deal with a very important client which you were focusing on for months. Great success. But then, you receive an email. It’s from the car company where you applied for your dream car. Unfortunately, your credit score is just a few numbers below their required limit so your application is denied. The question is: Which one are you going to focus on?

The art of happiness isn’t in not having problems or not experiencing losses along the way, it’s all about perspective and your ability to focus on the gains. Life balances itself. I can tell you right now, with solid confidence that you won’t always get what you want or when you want it. Life will often welcome you with re-battles. If you can see your glass half full when things don’t go your way, your positive attitude will save you each and every time.

3. Contribution

Okay, now you may be thinking “What’s up with contribution in this article when we talk about the positive attitude?” I get it so let me explain. Contribution has a highly positive impact on your mental health.

When you give and share, more than likely you’ll receive gratitude from the other person. It makes you feel useful, important and grateful as well. Why? Because there comes the time when you’ll recognize all those things you are taking for granted while others are dying to have or experience them. That’s why we tend to feel more grateful when we contribute.

Gratitude activates positive emotions and directs your focus on the good things. You give and receive at the same time. I call this a double victory.

A positive attitude is both, a corny and classy topic. It becomes corny since we hear it all the time but it stays classy because it always works and definitely saves you from living in misery. Even when you don’t always get what you want, with a positive spirit it will feel like you do.

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa

How do you stay upbeat in moments where nothing seems to be going your way? Please let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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3 Things to Pay Attention to When Building Your Own Personal Brand

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Who are you? Not your name or your business or even what your ethics are, but who are you in the sense of what people see when they look at you? Does your name and your business bring happiness to the minds of people who hear it? Does it bring anger? Does it bring peace and joy? Does it bring sadness?

How people feel when they think of you is your personal brand. We all know who Gary Vaynerchuk, Tony Robbins, and Robert Kiyosaki are. These people have built huge reputations for themselves. We also know who Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, and Adolf Hitler are. These people have also build reputations for themselves; very different reputations than the first names I listed.

When you read these names, a different feeling comes to mind, so below are 3 ways on how to evoke positive emotions when people hear your name:

1. Envoke the senses

First lets understand what a brand is. A brand is a product or service that invokes a feeling or emotion. Building a brand is all about invoking the senses of your Customers, you don’t want people to think of your brand and only think of the logo. We want people to have a scent that reminds them of you, a sight like a logo, and a feel that reminds them of not only your brand, but of you as well.

When people think of your company, what do you want them to think of? What emotion do you want to inspire in your customer base, and what can help you inspire that emotion? When creating your personal brand, you want to invoke all five senses of your target audience. If you own a coffee shop, when people walk in you want them to smell coffee, their mouth to water when they think of fresh pastries, their ears to perk up when they hear the beans being ground up.

“I force people to have coffee with me, just because I don’t trust that a friendship can be maintained without any other senses besides a computer or cellphone screen.” – John Cusack

To create your brand you can’t only think about what you want associated with your business, but also what you don’t want associated with it. Think back to the coffee instead of smelling coffee and pastries, how would you feel about walking in and smelling bleach? Would you rather go to the first coffee shop or the second one?

Think of ways to create a positive experience when a customer walks in by bringing a scent to people, or an interesting sight as they walk through the door. These things will all eventually become part of your brand in the sense that when people think of them, they will think of you.

2. Attractive marketing

Marketing is an amazing way to help boost your company’s sales. But marketing can also hurt your business if it isn’t done correctly. Have you ever given someone your email or phone number and had him or her relentlessly spam you trying to get your business? When someone does that, do you want to use their service, or do you want to throw your phone at the wall every time they message you? When building a brand you also want to think of ways to make your business, and marketing plans more attractive.  

This goes back to what you want people to think of when they think of your brand. Small things can go a long way in creating an attractive image for you and your company. Attractive marketing doesn’t stop at just ads, and endorsement. Thinking of ways to portray yourself in a positive light will help as well. It’s natural to think a person would be doing business with a company, but each customer is doing business with you directly. Now think back to a time you were in a store and had terrible customer service. How likely are you to go back to that store?

Even if that company employs thousands of people, the one bad experience you had with one employee could actually prevent you from going back. People are more likely to go somewhere they think of in a positive light, some place that reminds them of a good experience. A personal brand is not only a brand for your company or product, but it is also a way of branding yourself. The goal of marketing and creating a personal brand should be, to get your customer base to feel like they know you personally.

3. Build with social media

Social media is a great way to get your clients to feel like they know you personally. When a client feels like they know you, like you, and can trust you, they are more likely to buy whatever you are selling. People buy based off of person, product and price. So having that personal relationship with a client can go a long way, especially if they don’t know a lot about the product or price. There are tons of social media platforms to reach your customer base, but what platform gives the most personal, and honest form of your business?

One of the most surprising ways to build fans of your brand is podcasts. A podcast lets your audience hear your voice and speaking your opinions exactly how you meant them to be said. The more a person feels like they know you, the more likely they are to feel like they can trust you, your recommendations on products, and investments.

“Social media is not just an activity; it is an investment of valuable time and resources. Surround yourself with people who not just support you and stay with you, but inform your thinking about ways to WOW your online presence” – Sean Gardner

Unlike most social media platforms, podcasts don’t require someone to scroll through an endless feed, or pay attention to their phone or computer. For a podcast all you have to do is throw on a playlist and listen away while you are driving, cleaning, or just doing day-to-day tasks. The main goal is once you have a playlist of podcasts, someone only needs to hear one, let the playlist go, and suddenly be hooked on your opinions and advice.

You have the power to evoke emotions and feelings from people. In every moment of your life you are building your personal brand. Every time you interact with people and every thing you say makes up how people think and feel about both you and your products/services. When it comes to building your brand, the opportunities are endless but what I stated above is the perfect place to begin that journey. Always remember to create a brand to help your company speak for itself.

How do you make sure people understand who you are and follow you? Let us know by commenting below!
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Life

15 Ways to Avoid Regret at the End of Your Life

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Most people live their lives in regret. If you have ever had the misfortune of experiencing regret, it is not a nice thing to experience. You must do the things you need to do to avoid regrets in your life.

At the point when individuals think back on their lives, what are the most widely recognized regrets they have? That is a significant inquiry we have to stop and ask all the more regularly. A few people think back and say the greatest regret they had was to not have kids. Others think back and say their greatest regret was in regards to lost time.

Whatever the case, it’s critical to take a look at how you are carrying on with your life and consider how you can avoid regrets.

Here are 15 ways to avoid regrets later on in your life:

1. Don’t follow someone else’s dreams

So many of us are living other people’s dreams such as our parents, guardians and other authoritative figures in our lives. We all have dreams and should endeavor to follow those dreams to the latter irrespective of what others may think. You can’t please everyone and should look to only please yourself and do what is right for you.

2. Stop taking your loved ones for granted

Your children won’t be children forever and will grow up to become adults and not have time for you as much. They may never even call and your parents will not be parents forever, they will leave you someday. So make sure you endeavor to spend every waking moment with them and appreciate them while you still have the opportunity to do so.

3. Stop pretending to be someone else

Imitation is suicide. When we pretend to be someone we are not, we are spending so much time not being who we are and in that situation, we are spending a whole lot of time not living. You are the person you know very well and if you spend your time living someone else’s life you will only end up being a copycat instead of being the very best you could be as well as being number one at it.

The most inspiring people in the world are true to themselves and when you are true to yourself, you will be at ease. This tends to attract like-minded people into your life which help you live a more fulfilling life.

4. Don’t burn all your bridges

Life is a journey of ups and downs, and you will have to be kind to people on your way up because you will meet them on your way down. Don’t burn the bridges of your past as you may need them later in life.

5. Always tell the truth

Lies destroy families and relationships. When you tell a lie you will have to back that lie with another and another until you have a whole tangled web of lies that cannot be remedied even if you want to. True relationships have their foundation in the truth and lasts forever. Always endeavour to tell the truth in every situation as telling a lie can lead to future regrets.

6. Live in the moment

Have you ever noticed that when you were a kid time seemed to be really slow and now that you are an adult, time moves really fast? That is because as kids, we always lived in the moment and as adults, we are always thinking of our next scheme, idea or business that time just seems to fly past us. Take your time to experience the now as you may regret it later in the future when you look into the mirror and ask where all the time went.

“All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.” – Byron Katie

7. Don’t give up on true love

This is one of the biggest areas of regret for most people as they reject love because of fear, work or other excuses they give themselves. When you happen to find true and real love, cherish and nurture it well so that you don’t end up regretting it in the future.

8. Make others happy

The mark of a true existence is in the ability to make other people’s lives better and easier. Strive to make people happy and you will be happy yourself. A mid-life crisis is mainly made up of regrets and one way to alleviate this regret is to find a way to make people’s lives better. Do something good for someone such as engaging in volunteer work. In the end, it is not about your possessions but how many lives you touched.

9. Stand up for yourself

Many adults have always regretted not standing up for themselves when they had the opportunity to do so. Do not let people take you or any other person for that matter for granted. When I resumed secondary school there was this kid who tried to bully me. I warned him on many occasions to leave me alone and when he refused I had to punch him in the face.

He punched me back but never disturbed me again. Not that I am advocating violence but when someone tries to take advantage of you, fight back. Then they will know that you cannot be toiled with.

10. Take care of your health

It cannot be emphasized enough that health is wealth. You can have all the money in the world but without your health, it is nothing. Make sure you have a regular check-up and exercise and eat right.

11. Experience more

This is one of the greatest regrets of the dying because they wished they had experienced more out of life. Travel, go out with friends, see places and experience life because that’s what we are supposed to do while being alive, live.

12. Listen more

Surely, we all have lots to say but it is better when we listen. Listen to your spouse, listen to your kids and listen to your friends instead of talking all the time. Listen to the advice of your doctors and parents, family members and well wishers.

13. Don’t fear failure

Dare. Don’t be afraid to fail and take risks. On their death beds, most people always regret not taking chances on life and doing what they wanted to do and follow their dreams.

Don’t fear failure. Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” Bruce Lee

14. Don’t wait

There is no time again, if you have a dream, chase it. If there’s someone you like, let them know because you will always come second to someone who has taken the initiative to do something with their lives.

15. Talk to an elderly person

Old people regret lots of things and talking to them, they will tell you what to do and what not to do. Unfortunately, most of us see our old people as outdated and think that old people have nothing to teach us. If you hope on avoiding regrets in the future, make sure you listen to the advice of those better than you.

What are you doing on a daily basis to make sure you reach the end of your life fulfilled? Let us know by commenting below!
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Life

I Want To Be Happy – Only With You

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I only want to be happy with you.

I want you to find love and not be single for the rest of your life because you’ve told me how much you want to settle down and have a family one-day. I know how much you enjoy the company of an intelligent partner who knows how to have a proper conversation. I want to be that partner.

I want you to have time to talk before breakfast and enjoy a healthy meal with me, so you have loads of energy to live your day with passion. I want you to have time to tell me about your workday and what inspired you. I want to hear about how you’ve empowered others to chase their dreams.

I want you to tell me about how you went for drinks after work and had way too many red wines. To tell me the smallest detail about your day knowing that I will still be fascinated because of how much I care about you.

I want to smile when I get a message from you knowing that you inserted the maximum amount of emoji’s and that I will do my best to compete and add in more with my own reply. I’ll try my best to add in even more crazy emoji’s so that you have to think very carefully about what I am trying to say and what each emoji means. Our emoji game can be like a never-ending puzzle that we spend the rest of our lives trying to solve.

I want us to travel all around the world and experience new cultures together. I want us to go to places that scare the hell out of us and defy the ridiculous terrorism warnings that stop people going to beautiful cities like Paris.

“I don’t want us to live in fear; I want us to live with passion”

As part of that travel dream, I want to whisk you away when you least expect it and take you somewhere that will help you remember me forever, even after I’m gone. I want you to have one special place where you can remember me for a single moment and know that I will always be with you. I want that place to make us both smile when we think of it. I want to make these crazy dreams with you.

I want you to feel like you can do whatever you want and there is nothing holding you back. I want you to feel as free as a bird flying over the sea without a care in the world. I want you to know that I will always move obstacles out of your way so you can feel that sense of freedom.

I want to stay home from work when you have the flu and make you yummy soup, even if it means I get sick with you, and we both have to stay home. I want to take you to the doctor’s office when you’re unwell and conquer any medical issue with you. I want us always to believe in hope if the worst happens.

I want to be there for you no matter what.

When our parents are eventually gone one day, I want us both to never forget them. To never forget the dreams they had for our lives and the difference they made. While they may not have got everything always right, they did their best. We’ve both had struggles with a difficult sibling, but that’s not their fault. For their sake, we will do our best to have a relationship with our siblings even if it’s hard. The result of that struggle is the one thing that would make both of our parents proud and we owe them that at the very least.

I may be still single right now, but one day I will find you and we will live happily ever after. That’s a promise to you and to my future self.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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2 Comments

  1. Rose Aitken

    May 4, 2017 at 7:53 pm

    Hi Nelu,
    Thanks for your comment!
    No one said anything about disregarding others thoughts and feelings. It’s a given that we stay in our integrity and kindness within our relationships.
    My point is about the fact that when someone close to us is challenged or going through stuff, we dis-empower them further by doing empathy and sympathy and going into their story with them. This may not be a common notion or a popular one. It’s not about taking a by-pass, it is a learned technique where we hold space for the person instead, allowing them to choose differently.

  2. Nelu Mbingu

    May 4, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    I hope your third point doesn’t mean people should have complete disregard for the thoughts and feelings of others. I don’t think anyone has to take on the responsibility for someone else’s happiness, but if you can avoid hurting someone unnecessarily then you should. I don’t think it’s okay, for instance, to tell someone they do look fat in those jeans if that will hurt them unnecessarily. You know what I mean?

    I don’t know if I’m making sense, but thanks for sharing, Rose.

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Life

I Want To Be Happy – Only With You

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I only want to be happy with you.

I want you to find love and not be single for the rest of your life because you’ve told me how much you want to settle down and have a family one-day. I know how much you enjoy the company of an intelligent partner who knows how to have a proper conversation. I want to be that partner.

I want you to have time to talk before breakfast and enjoy a healthy meal with me, so you have loads of energy to live your day with passion. I want you to have time to tell me about your workday and what inspired you. I want to hear about how you’ve empowered others to chase their dreams.

I want you to tell me about how you went for drinks after work and had way too many red wines. To tell me the smallest detail about your day knowing that I will still be fascinated because of how much I care about you.

I want to smile when I get a message from you knowing that you inserted the maximum amount of emoji’s and that I will do my best to compete and add in more with my own reply. I’ll try my best to add in even more crazy emoji’s so that you have to think very carefully about what I am trying to say and what each emoji means. Our emoji game can be like a never-ending puzzle that we spend the rest of our lives trying to solve.

I want us to travel all around the world and experience new cultures together. I want us to go to places that scare the hell out of us and defy the ridiculous terrorism warnings that stop people going to beautiful cities like Paris.

“I don’t want us to live in fear; I want us to live with passion”

As part of that travel dream, I want to whisk you away when you least expect it and take you somewhere that will help you remember me forever, even after I’m gone. I want you to have one special place where you can remember me for a single moment and know that I will always be with you. I want that place to make us both smile when we think of it. I want to make these crazy dreams with you.

I want you to feel like you can do whatever you want and there is nothing holding you back. I want you to feel as free as a bird flying over the sea without a care in the world. I want you to know that I will always move obstacles out of your way so you can feel that sense of freedom.

I want to stay home from work when you have the flu and make you yummy soup, even if it means I get sick with you, and we both have to stay home. I want to take you to the doctor’s office when you’re unwell and conquer any medical issue with you. I want us always to believe in hope if the worst happens.

I want to be there for you no matter what.

When our parents are eventually gone one day, I want us both to never forget them. To never forget the dreams they had for our lives and the difference they made. While they may not have got everything always right, they did their best. We’ve both had struggles with a difficult sibling, but that’s not their fault. For their sake, we will do our best to have a relationship with our siblings even if it’s hard. The result of that struggle is the one thing that would make both of our parents proud and we owe them that at the very least.

I may be still single right now, but one day I will find you and we will live happily ever after. That’s a promise to you and to my future self.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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3 Ways You Can Awaken Your Positive Spirit

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It’s 5:30 in the morning, your alarm rings. Do you feel like waking up? Heck no! The pillow is your best friend and at this moment, you wouldn’t mind breaking your phone to shut it up. Nonetheless, responsibilities are calling you. You roll out of bed, making it all the way to the bathroom. It takes you one shower and a giant cup of coffee to wake up.

You hit the road. No gas in the car and you are already running late. You stop at the gas station, rush in the door when you realize you forgot your wallet at home. Current mood: the bomb before the explosion approached by the mental breakdown. Can you resonate?

So, here comes the question. What do you do when nothing seems to go right? Do you bow your head down and get into “Why is this happening to me” mindset? Or do you step up and look at the bright side even when it is hard to spot it?

A positive attitude is a heartwarming topic for me because, for many years, I lived on the negative side. Only by experiencing pain and emptiness, did I start to understand the power of positive thinking in life. The best part is, you can make this switch too.

Here are 3 ways you can awaken your positive spirit in any negative moment:

1. Motion Creates Emotion

Imagine your regular day. You wake up, get ready and head to work. Throughout the day, you deal with all kinds of problems and challenges. Deadlines for your big projects are catching up and your mom just called you, crying that her dog is sick and it doesn’t look good. You work your butt off and by 5pm you are in something that I call exhaustion state. But wait, there is a gym hang out tonight at 7 pm. You already promised your buddy John that you will be there so you show up.

You grab your headset and step on the running belt while playing your favorite song or compilation of motivational speeches. Within 15 minutes of motion, you are feeling better. Your pulse is rising and you start running faster. After 30 minutes of motion and intense exercise, the entire exhaustion is gone and you feel great. Suddenly, the day doesn’t seem so bad and you feel pretty good about yourself. How come? Because of motion.

Every motion creates emotion. One of the things I started to do when I felt under the weather was to exercise or jump and say YES for 60 seconds. I put my hands up like a champ who just won the gold cup and smile. Of course, it looks totally crazy so you won’t see me doing it but the change of my mental state happens in an instant.

“I’m not going to get somewhere and say, ‘OK, I’m done.’ Success is never final; I’ll just keep on going. The same way as failure never being fatal. Just keep going. I’m going to the stars and then past them.” – Conor McGregor

2. Positivity Focus

Let’s take a look at this scenario. One day, two big events. The first is good. You finally closed that deal with a very important client which you were focusing on for months. Great success. But then, you receive an email. It’s from the car company where you applied for your dream car. Unfortunately, your credit score is just a few numbers below their required limit so your application is denied. The question is: Which one are you going to focus on?

The art of happiness isn’t in not having problems or not experiencing losses along the way, it’s all about perspective and your ability to focus on the gains. Life balances itself. I can tell you right now, with solid confidence that you won’t always get what you want or when you want it. Life will often welcome you with re-battles. If you can see your glass half full when things don’t go your way, your positive attitude will save you each and every time.

3. Contribution

Okay, now you may be thinking “What’s up with contribution in this article when we talk about the positive attitude?” I get it so let me explain. Contribution has a highly positive impact on your mental health.

When you give and share, more than likely you’ll receive gratitude from the other person. It makes you feel useful, important and grateful as well. Why? Because there comes the time when you’ll recognize all those things you are taking for granted while others are dying to have or experience them. That’s why we tend to feel more grateful when we contribute.

Gratitude activates positive emotions and directs your focus on the good things. You give and receive at the same time. I call this a double victory.

A positive attitude is both, a corny and classy topic. It becomes corny since we hear it all the time but it stays classy because it always works and definitely saves you from living in misery. Even when you don’t always get what you want, with a positive spirit it will feel like you do.

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa

How do you stay upbeat in moments where nothing seems to be going your way? Please let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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3 Things to Pay Attention to When Building Your Own Personal Brand

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Who are you? Not your name or your business or even what your ethics are, but who are you in the sense of what people see when they look at you? Does your name and your business bring happiness to the minds of people who hear it? Does it bring anger? Does it bring peace and joy? Does it bring sadness?

How people feel when they think of you is your personal brand. We all know who Gary Vaynerchuk, Tony Robbins, and Robert Kiyosaki are. These people have built huge reputations for themselves. We also know who Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, and Adolf Hitler are. These people have also build reputations for themselves; very different reputations than the first names I listed.

When you read these names, a different feeling comes to mind, so below are 3 ways on how to evoke positive emotions when people hear your name:

1. Envoke the senses

First lets understand what a brand is. A brand is a product or service that invokes a feeling or emotion. Building a brand is all about invoking the senses of your Customers, you don’t want people to think of your brand and only think of the logo. We want people to have a scent that reminds them of you, a sight like a logo, and a feel that reminds them of not only your brand, but of you as well.

When people think of your company, what do you want them to think of? What emotion do you want to inspire in your customer base, and what can help you inspire that emotion? When creating your personal brand, you want to invoke all five senses of your target audience. If you own a coffee shop, when people walk in you want them to smell coffee, their mouth to water when they think of fresh pastries, their ears to perk up when they hear the beans being ground up.

“I force people to have coffee with me, just because I don’t trust that a friendship can be maintained without any other senses besides a computer or cellphone screen.” – John Cusack

To create your brand you can’t only think about what you want associated with your business, but also what you don’t want associated with it. Think back to the coffee instead of smelling coffee and pastries, how would you feel about walking in and smelling bleach? Would you rather go to the first coffee shop or the second one?

Think of ways to create a positive experience when a customer walks in by bringing a scent to people, or an interesting sight as they walk through the door. These things will all eventually become part of your brand in the sense that when people think of them, they will think of you.

2. Attractive marketing

Marketing is an amazing way to help boost your company’s sales. But marketing can also hurt your business if it isn’t done correctly. Have you ever given someone your email or phone number and had him or her relentlessly spam you trying to get your business? When someone does that, do you want to use their service, or do you want to throw your phone at the wall every time they message you? When building a brand you also want to think of ways to make your business, and marketing plans more attractive.  

This goes back to what you want people to think of when they think of your brand. Small things can go a long way in creating an attractive image for you and your company. Attractive marketing doesn’t stop at just ads, and endorsement. Thinking of ways to portray yourself in a positive light will help as well. It’s natural to think a person would be doing business with a company, but each customer is doing business with you directly. Now think back to a time you were in a store and had terrible customer service. How likely are you to go back to that store?

Even if that company employs thousands of people, the one bad experience you had with one employee could actually prevent you from going back. People are more likely to go somewhere they think of in a positive light, some place that reminds them of a good experience. A personal brand is not only a brand for your company or product, but it is also a way of branding yourself. The goal of marketing and creating a personal brand should be, to get your customer base to feel like they know you personally.

3. Build with social media

Social media is a great way to get your clients to feel like they know you personally. When a client feels like they know you, like you, and can trust you, they are more likely to buy whatever you are selling. People buy based off of person, product and price. So having that personal relationship with a client can go a long way, especially if they don’t know a lot about the product or price. There are tons of social media platforms to reach your customer base, but what platform gives the most personal, and honest form of your business?

One of the most surprising ways to build fans of your brand is podcasts. A podcast lets your audience hear your voice and speaking your opinions exactly how you meant them to be said. The more a person feels like they know you, the more likely they are to feel like they can trust you, your recommendations on products, and investments.

“Social media is not just an activity; it is an investment of valuable time and resources. Surround yourself with people who not just support you and stay with you, but inform your thinking about ways to WOW your online presence” – Sean Gardner

Unlike most social media platforms, podcasts don’t require someone to scroll through an endless feed, or pay attention to their phone or computer. For a podcast all you have to do is throw on a playlist and listen away while you are driving, cleaning, or just doing day-to-day tasks. The main goal is once you have a playlist of podcasts, someone only needs to hear one, let the playlist go, and suddenly be hooked on your opinions and advice.

You have the power to evoke emotions and feelings from people. In every moment of your life you are building your personal brand. Every time you interact with people and every thing you say makes up how people think and feel about both you and your products/services. When it comes to building your brand, the opportunities are endless but what I stated above is the perfect place to begin that journey. Always remember to create a brand to help your company speak for itself.

How do you make sure people understand who you are and follow you? Let us know by commenting below!
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15 Ways to Avoid Regret at the End of Your Life

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Most people live their lives in regret. If you have ever had the misfortune of experiencing regret, it is not a nice thing to experience. You must do the things you need to do to avoid regrets in your life.

At the point when individuals think back on their lives, what are the most widely recognized regrets they have? That is a significant inquiry we have to stop and ask all the more regularly. A few people think back and say the greatest regret they had was to not have kids. Others think back and say their greatest regret was in regards to lost time.

Whatever the case, it’s critical to take a look at how you are carrying on with your life and consider how you can avoid regrets.

Here are 15 ways to avoid regrets later on in your life:

1. Don’t follow someone else’s dreams

So many of us are living other people’s dreams such as our parents, guardians and other authoritative figures in our lives. We all have dreams and should endeavor to follow those dreams to the latter irrespective of what others may think. You can’t please everyone and should look to only please yourself and do what is right for you.

2. Stop taking your loved ones for granted

Your children won’t be children forever and will grow up to become adults and not have time for you as much. They may never even call and your parents will not be parents forever, they will leave you someday. So make sure you endeavor to spend every waking moment with them and appreciate them while you still have the opportunity to do so.

3. Stop pretending to be someone else

Imitation is suicide. When we pretend to be someone we are not, we are spending so much time not being who we are and in that situation, we are spending a whole lot of time not living. You are the person you know very well and if you spend your time living someone else’s life you will only end up being a copycat instead of being the very best you could be as well as being number one at it.

The most inspiring people in the world are true to themselves and when you are true to yourself, you will be at ease. This tends to attract like-minded people into your life which help you live a more fulfilling life.

4. Don’t burn all your bridges

Life is a journey of ups and downs, and you will have to be kind to people on your way up because you will meet them on your way down. Don’t burn the bridges of your past as you may need them later in life.

5. Always tell the truth

Lies destroy families and relationships. When you tell a lie you will have to back that lie with another and another until you have a whole tangled web of lies that cannot be remedied even if you want to. True relationships have their foundation in the truth and lasts forever. Always endeavour to tell the truth in every situation as telling a lie can lead to future regrets.

6. Live in the moment

Have you ever noticed that when you were a kid time seemed to be really slow and now that you are an adult, time moves really fast? That is because as kids, we always lived in the moment and as adults, we are always thinking of our next scheme, idea or business that time just seems to fly past us. Take your time to experience the now as you may regret it later in the future when you look into the mirror and ask where all the time went.

“All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.” – Byron Katie

7. Don’t give up on true love

This is one of the biggest areas of regret for most people as they reject love because of fear, work or other excuses they give themselves. When you happen to find true and real love, cherish and nurture it well so that you don’t end up regretting it in the future.

8. Make others happy

The mark of a true existence is in the ability to make other people’s lives better and easier. Strive to make people happy and you will be happy yourself. A mid-life crisis is mainly made up of regrets and one way to alleviate this regret is to find a way to make people’s lives better. Do something good for someone such as engaging in volunteer work. In the end, it is not about your possessions but how many lives you touched.

9. Stand up for yourself

Many adults have always regretted not standing up for themselves when they had the opportunity to do so. Do not let people take you or any other person for that matter for granted. When I resumed secondary school there was this kid who tried to bully me. I warned him on many occasions to leave me alone and when he refused I had to punch him in the face.

He punched me back but never disturbed me again. Not that I am advocating violence but when someone tries to take advantage of you, fight back. Then they will know that you cannot be toiled with.

10. Take care of your health

It cannot be emphasized enough that health is wealth. You can have all the money in the world but without your health, it is nothing. Make sure you have a regular check-up and exercise and eat right.

11. Experience more

This is one of the greatest regrets of the dying because they wished they had experienced more out of life. Travel, go out with friends, see places and experience life because that’s what we are supposed to do while being alive, live.

12. Listen more

Surely, we all have lots to say but it is better when we listen. Listen to your spouse, listen to your kids and listen to your friends instead of talking all the time. Listen to the advice of your doctors and parents, family members and well wishers.

13. Don’t fear failure

Dare. Don’t be afraid to fail and take risks. On their death beds, most people always regret not taking chances on life and doing what they wanted to do and follow their dreams.

Don’t fear failure. Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” Bruce Lee

14. Don’t wait

There is no time again, if you have a dream, chase it. If there’s someone you like, let them know because you will always come second to someone who has taken the initiative to do something with their lives.

15. Talk to an elderly person

Old people regret lots of things and talking to them, they will tell you what to do and what not to do. Unfortunately, most of us see our old people as outdated and think that old people have nothing to teach us. If you hope on avoiding regrets in the future, make sure you listen to the advice of those better than you.

What are you doing on a daily basis to make sure you reach the end of your life fulfilled? Let us know by commenting below!
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