Gaby& Raj have been a couple for a decade AND together nearly 24-7, they run two businesses together and STILL enjoy a playful, peaceful, passionate relationship. And they want YOU to as well!
Their message and methods are fun, even funny and totally forward focused. No need to be so significant and serious or to dissect problems anymore.
Gaby helps turn impossible dreams into awesome realities. Her favorite expression is “Pigs CAN fly!” Raj’s thirst for meaningful knowledge has him known as the “Energizer Bunny of transformation”. His motto is “Let’s do this!”
Together with over 40 combined years of education, training and experience, they help couples “Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty” and learn how to “Save being nasty for your sex life!”
In our podcast interview and this article, together we explore the impact our business has on our relationship and our relationship on our business along with the top 5 tips for entrepreneurs in relationship.
1. Choose Wisely!
As a business person, you make all sorts of important decisions, still there is NO more important decision you can make in your life that who you choose as your partner in life and love.
If your relationship sucks, your life pretty much sucks. Relationships can fuel your performance in a positive way or can distract you, slow you down or even totally derail you.
Are they going to be a weight around your neck or the wind in your sail?
Yes life is too tough to do alone, yet a crappy relationship is worse than none at all and a wonderful one is so worth it. So choose wisely!
2. Your Relationship Is Like Your Business – Invest in It!
The most common threat to a relationship is the Autopilot Attitude. Just like your business, your relationship TAKES SOMETHING!
What did you think an awesome relationship just happens? No!
Invest in intimacy. Invest your attention…before it is demanded of you (often at the worst time possible). Just a little intention, attention and action can go a VERY long way towards a playful, peaceful, passionate relationship.
Bonus: Get creative, lighten up and turn that “relationship work” into “relationship fun”. As Gaby likes to say when she wants to up-level intimacy…“I know… let’s play a Game!”
3. Arguments Are An Access to Next Level Loving & Living – “The Problem is the Path”
Stop resisting and avoiding the differences and conflict. Lean in, embrace it and learn all you can from it. There are valuable lessons available itching to be heard and healed. In fact, the very thing that is pulling you apart can be there very thing that brings you together.
If you chose well, your beloved’s perspective is VALUABLE and they want your happiness and success. Their concerns could be a golden finger of loving and wise wisdom pointing towards an “Even Better If” future.
And often enough, that lesson your relationship has to teach you is exactly what you needed to learn and transform to take your business to the next level.
Most couples just want to get through the day let alone a fight. But don’t just settle to just get through it and move on, move FORWARD by leaning in for the lessons. “Experience can be expensive. Just make sure you get what you paid for.”
4. Know Thyself and Your Beloved – Create a Me Manual
Knowing your patterns around feelings, behaviors, preferences and resets is a HUGELY helpful life hack that can save you TONS of stress, headaches and even a broken heart. Taking a few personality assessments online can be eye opening, even life changing and certainly helpful in navigating a romantic relationship.
Take it a step further and get to know your beloved in the same way. Invite them to take the assessments or to just share what works best or doesn’t work at all for them.
Then together, co-create practices and habits to avoid, diminish and even heal the triggers.
This will set you up to save your relationship from all the drain and drama of the repeat or ugly fights that take forever to heal from. Who has time for that?!
Bonus: Create a “Me Manual” electronically and print it to have a hard copy accessible. Learn the Dos & Don’ts that work best with your type and have it ready to reference when in conflict. Then share your “Me Manual” with your beloved and create some “Games” to play to embrace both your types and the special interaction between them. (Check out the podcast for specific assessments)
5. Even Better If It!
Many couples resist conflict and do not embrace the influence of their beloved.
A powerful paradox to practice holding is “All Is Well”, everything IS great as it is AND at the same time we are all always learning and can “Even Better If” our experience.
After a fight, ask yourself and each other – How was that? How did we do and how could we do better next time? (For 5 fantastic questions to ask after a fight, listen to the podcast).
After some sexy-time, ask yourself and each other – How was that? How did we do and how could we do better next time? (For the 3 super satisfying criteria to “score” your experience and up-level the erotic intimacy listed to the podcast.)
Hold the attitude that everything is just as it should be now AND that you can always make it better for the future and you will continue to grow as individuals and as a couple.
In case this is useful anywhere – here is the summary of the show – looks like you include just the bio and no reference to what the podcast is about.
Summary by Time
2:30 It takes some time and energy – you reap what you sow. Invest in intimacy – invest rather than demanded.
4:00 Arguments as Access – lean in, not away
5:30 You CAN get the manual! Personality assessments (apply biz practices to relationship and vice versa). Also resets.
7:20 Get curious about your partner.
7:30 Relationship Hacks – Non linear jumps
8:00 Love languages
9:00 Specific examples for what personality assessments to take.
10:45 Another personality assessment – Personality Hacker
11:00 Most common problems – autopilot attitude
12:25 Stop Resisting/Lean In – The Problem is the Path – The Conflict is your teacher
13:00 Get pro-active- aim for what you want.
14:30 Book recommendation: The obstacle is the way
15:20 Don’t just move on, move FORWARD – breakdown => breakthrough. What turns you apart can actually pull you together
16:00 Relationships can fuel your performance in a positive way
18:15 Date an entrepreneur, work together or be with a “9-5er”? Approaches to each.
20:00 working together tips – stay in your lane
20:15 Dating a “9-5er” – embrace the problems as access to even better if. Asset or liability? Weight around your neck or wind in your sail?
23:15 Assessment: Strengths Finder – understand your partner
24:30 Your relationship is like a business – embrace the differences, self awareness, learning about ourselves and others.
26:00 Choose Wisely! (But it might look messy at first! Don’t give up too early.)
26:50 Relationship helps you transform the very things that you need to excel in your business. Directly translated my ability to be a calm effective holder of space…Managing anger, lack of ability to communicate your needs – they came out in a biz setting.
31:00 How to not fight about driving ever again!
34:00 Name your arguements -can’t get a word in edge wise
34:30 Making Marriage simple Drama Free Diet Biggest issue in relationship negativity – blaming shaming complaining critizing. Magic ratio – 5to 1 ration positive to negative. Make a game out of it. Blamey Shamey Complainy.
37:20 All is well + Even Better If
38:30 Romp Recap – Intimacy, Sexiness & Technique
39:30 – Argument Even Better Ifing – how often does it happen? How bad/extreme did it get? (And lines crossed?), How long did it last? Did we use our tools? Did we learn any lessons? (What can we take to the next one).
41:00 Find out more at: relationshipfunandgames.com/success
gift of our ebook – easy to scan dozens of tips by topic. 8 categories FCSD Before as it starts during and after.
43:00 Last message – Gaby – The problem is the path – life is too tough to do alone, yet a crappy relationship is worth than embrace the problem. Love is worth it.
A great relationship is like everything else in life – it takes something – it is not magically going to happen. Embrace your relationship will take something to be great – wonderful relationship is so worth it.