Connect with us

Life

2 Ways to Stay Positive When Dealing With Negative People

Published

on

Mean People Suck Negative-People Suck Change Your Friends

We all have to deal with negative people at some point in lives, we just do. Sometimes we can avoid them, other times we can’t. Sometimes these negative people stay for a little while, other times they stay long enough to make us want to jump off a bridge.

But since we know it’s a fact of life that negative people exist, what can we do deal with Negative Nancy and Pessimistic Peter?

 

Understand They Have Different Values

There are times when the negative people we have to deal with aren’t always negative, they just happen to be really negative in certain situations.

When I started college, I was an engineering major. I did really well in school and got accepted into a summer internship program with one of the biggest oil companies in the world. It was awesome. I performed so well in the internship program that they brought me back the following summer. After the second summer I was told I had a full time job waiting for me once I graduated.

But unfortunately, not only did I turn down that high paying job offer, I left the engineering major entirely! I realized that engineering wasn’t my passion and I began studying small business management instead.

My family wasn’t so thrilled about the idea. I was going to be the first one in my family to get a college degree, and the fact that it was going to be an engineering degree made my family ecstatic because they knew that a degree in engineering meant financial security. That’s what was important to them, a nice steady paycheck with great benefits.

So when news broke that I was changing my major, my family voiced a lot of concerns and brought a pretty negative attitude to the situation. They kept reminding me of the time that would be wasted and the big payday that would never come. It was tough to hear, and it even made me second-guess my decision.

But I had to go back and remind myself of what my values were. What was important to me? Delivering something of significance to world the world, and I felt that a degree in engineering wouldn’t allow me to really reach my potential.

I valued significance, my family valued security. We couldn’t have been further apart from each other.

Once I realized that we had such a big difference in values on the topic, it made it a lot easier for me to tune out the negative comments and energy they were sending my way.

 

Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness

Negativity is contagious. It’s easy for someone else’s negative thoughts to slowly creep over and start affecting you in a negative way.

But positivity is also contagious, so when someone is giving you a lot of negative energy, you have to fight back with positive energy. You can’t allow someone else’s negativity to become yours. Just because Negative Nick doesn’t think it’s a good idea for you to go after your dreams, that doesn’t mean you have to think it’s a bad idea too.

You have to be responsible for you own happiness and positivity. If we break down the word responsibility we get “response – ability”. Responsibility is simply your ability to respond.

You don’t have the power to choose what life throws at you, or what these negative people do and say to you, but, you do have the ability to choose how you respond and that’s what’s most important.

You can choose to respond in way that lets the negativity drains your positivity and makes you feel hopeless and frustrated, or you can choose to respond in way that makes you work even harder and focus even more on the positive aspects of the situation.

The dictionary defines responsibility as “the opportunity or ability to act independently and make decisions without authorization”. That means you don’t need an ok from anyone else to act on something that you’re responsible for. So even when the negative people disagree with you, who cares?

It helps if you ask yourself,

  • What can I do to reinforce my positive attitude?”
  • “What can I do to discredit their negative attitude and opinion?”

Your happiness depends more on your own attitude than any external factors. So don’t let the negative people of the world get you down.

No more negative people quote

Tony Robinson runs DoReallyGood.com, which is a site that shows you how to utilize willpower, habits, systems and automation so you can create lasting change that leads to the achievement of your most important goals. You can pick up a free copy of his ebook "Goal Domination: The 5 Step Game Plan to Setting and Achieving Your Goals" by clicking here.

Advertisement
19 Comments

19 Comments

  1. Remy Sheppard

    Nov 10, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    My wife has a huge problem with things like this. She lets so much negativity get to her, and doesn’t make much of an effort to control her emotions. Instead, she gets made and shuts down.

    I might want to show her this article.

  2. Jacqueline Cohen

    Aug 27, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    I´ve been struggling to continue positive in a difficult situation. My mom, who has always been negative, was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer. She is very aggressive, even cruel sometimes. My challenge is not to let her affect me in a negative way. This article really cleared my head.

  3. saikat

    Apr 21, 2014 at 5:52 am

    fine articles really,thanks.

  4. Kath elledge

    Feb 19, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    Yes so hard to keep positive when surrounded by negative people. I recognise negativity and the people responsibileand limit my time with them. However I have a strong internal truth library in my head…….thanks for the article…….

  5. kalai

    Feb 15, 2014 at 7:09 pm

    Really energrtic… thanks for your positive article… thankyou once again…

  6. Crissy Van Damme

    Feb 11, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    Awesome article! It’s tough to stay positive in a such a negative world! I work on it everyday and each day it gets easier and my world gets a little bit brighter!

    Thanks for sharing!

  7. @Zingcali

    Jan 14, 2014 at 9:26 am

    It is real bad for us in our trying times to let other people to draw life maps and scripts for us as if those are true reflections of who we are

  8. Aminu Bilyaminu

    Jan 11, 2014 at 6:43 am

    ” Your ability to respond ” I like that line.

  9. Janine Gilmour (@JanineGilmour1)

    Jan 10, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    Solid advice. Hope you’ve been able to make a difference to a number of people with this.

  10. Nelson Gavela

    Jan 7, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Thanks for the post.

  11. evan

    Jan 2, 2014 at 10:20 am

    ” You don’t have the power to choose what life throws at you but, you do have the ability to choose how you respond ” , Nice
    Being Positive is all about the good respond that we give that life have throw to us.
    Great Post, Thanks.

  12. Shaunts

    Dec 29, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    I woke up to family drama, and this post made my day! Thanks so much

  13. Belinda

    Dec 27, 2013 at 11:11 pm

    Great post! Thank you 🙂

  14. Guest Speaker

    Dec 16, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    Thanks for the post and the relevant anecdotes.

  15. Share

    Dec 14, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Good positive post, would be nice know if you actually made a success of your business career as oppose to engineering ?

  16. Sebastian

    Dec 9, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Isn’t crazy how your elders are supposed to be the smarter people and the wiser ones but it’s them the ones that worry about money versus you, being a lot younger, see the bigger picture?

    What does this say about everything? Who is right and wrong in the end? Where does wisdom come from?

    I could go on and on about this…

  17. nersonangelo

    Dec 9, 2013 at 4:37 am

    Thank you…

  18. aladi ochalaga (@OchalagaAladi)

    Dec 6, 2013 at 7:02 am

    Bravo! Thanks for making me understand that l’m more important to me than what anybody thinks about me

  19. maxwell ivey

    Dec 6, 2013 at 1:50 am

    Thanks for sharing his post with us. It has been said often but we can never hear it enough that is we are responsible for our own happiness. sometimes this means having to decide to be happy with your choice even if the whole world seems to be against you. it helps if you spend as much time with positive people and avoid those negative nellies as much as possible. keep up the great work, max

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

How to Protect Yourself From Other People’s Negativity

Published

on

how to stay away from negativity
Image Credit: Unsplash

When I was a kid, it seemed like I felt pain more than anyone else around me. Not just physical pain, but emotional pain. I cried easily, over many things. I had an especially hard time when people were fighting around me, and I didn’t even have to be involved. I could feel the negative energy and felt upset and overwhelmed. I didn’t have a constructive way of handling it. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

How to Write a Personal Destiny Statement in 3 Steps

Published

on

personal destiny statement
Image Credit: Unsplash

We all have a God-given destiny to fulfill that we were each born with. I personally believe it is buried deep down within us. The number one secret to success is to let it emerge out of you and release it to the world. What is my destiny you may ask? It is the thing you would regret not doing before leaving Planet Earth. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

Continue Reading

Life

Why You Never Have Enough Time and What You Need to Do About It

Published

on

how to manage your time better
Image Credit: Unsplash

Has this ever happened to you? You had an assignment, and the deadline was far away. You didn’t work on it much, but in the back of your mind, that insistent little voice was always whispering, “I gotta get this assignment done.” (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending