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3 Ways to Balance Ambition and Perfectionism

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I’ve had a difficult time in my life balancing perfectionism and ambition. Why is it that the two seem to be almost inseparable? Can we actually have a high drive to succeed without the ever present need to simultaneously be perfect?

For me, I began to notice the link between perfectionism and ambition early on. In high school, my main focus was landing a spot on a college team for baseball. This meant putting in countless hours in hopes of attaining that goal. 

While I am proud of the consistent effort I put forth, another more crippling trait began to develop. After every training session or game, I would feel as though I didn’t do enough. 

Do you know that feeling?

The sense that there is more to give. Only, when is enough enough? When have you put in enough work that day and have earned the right to rest until your next training session or work day?

That is something I had a difficult time answering. Fast forward to college and my perfectionism grew worse. Even though I had reached a target, landing a starting role on my college baseball team, my ambition only created another goal to strive for. 

Instead of taking the time to enjoy and relish in the fact I had achieved a childhood dream, I quickly re-centered my focus onto a future ideal. I once again did not feel perfect. 

When I moved up another level and started playing professional baseball, I still had this feeling that I wasn’t enough. No matter how hard I trained or what I did in a game, there was always more to be achieved. 

That is the sad truth for perfectionists. No matter how hard you work or how much you achieve, you will never feel perfect.

Balancing Perfectionism & Ambition

My level of ambition was great, as it kept propelling me to new heights. Yet the accompanying perfectionism slowly ate away at my self-confidence and the joy I had in the sport. 

Now that I am finished playing baseball and my attention has turned to mental performance coaching, I routinely deal with similar feelings while running my business. The only difference is, I now have tools in place to counteract perfectionism. 

I never want to reduce the ambition I have, as I would never encourage you to do so either. But we all must recognize the direct relationship between perfectionism and ambition. 

Once this is accepted, we can then put tools into place to reduce perfectionism and hold on tightly to our ambition. 

Tool #1: Trust Your Planning

In my experience, one of the major ways perfectionism attacks the mind is second guessing. 

If you have ever dealt with perfectionism, you know exactly what I’m talking about. As a perfectionist, there is a desperate need to be perfect. Not just a desire, not just a want, but a need.

The negative effects of not being perfect hurt so much, our only remedy is to seek perfection. Now, when you have ambition, your mind sees that ultimate target as a symbol or perfection. 

So, in order to reach that goal, you need to have a perfect plan in place. Only, there is no such thing as a perfect plan. What results is constant second guessing. For me, almost every week I would question my training plan.

With work, I now find myself second guessing the steps I’m taking to build my business. 

To counteract this, we must work hard to trust in our planning. I’m sure if you’re like me and you have high ambition, you have put in a lot of effort to plan and ensure you know how to reach your target. 

Now you have to trust yourself!

Trust in your plan, and now focus solely on the process you’ve put in place to get yourself to where you wish to go.

“Ambition is enthusiasm with a purpose.” – Frank Tyger

Tool #2: Celebrate Your Small Successes

One of the major mistakes I made throughout my playing career was not relishing in the small successes I experienced. 

In baseball, it’s not so often you get a hit. In fact, three times out of ten signifies you’re a fantastic batter. So, if greatness is still measured by failing seventy percent of the time, you better cherish those successes or you’ll feel lousy most of the time. 

That’s the state I found myself in. I gave tons of attention to my failures, yet did little to celebrate my small wins. 

For yourself, if you are struggling with perfectionism, you need to begin taking time to celebrate your successes along the way. No, this doesn’t mean you need to pop champagne for every little target you hit.

What it does mean is recognizing when you succeed no matter how big or small. Let’s say you knocked out all your goals for the day, take some time and relish in the pride you feel for your accomplishment. 

Begin taking time to celebrate your small successes and perfectionism will slowly have less of a hold on you.

Tool #3: Fall In love With The Journey

Have you ever attained a large goal? 

How long did the feelings of joy last? 

One of the scariest things I’ve noticed in life is how quickly a moment comes and goes. That feeling of winning a championship, landing a new job, getting a promotion, it’s gone in the blink of an eye. 

If that moment is all you are working towards, I hate to say it but you’re striving for a moment that will be gone before you know it. What then? Will you go back to feeling down on yourself and imperfect until you reach yet another quickly fading moment of success?

As people with ambition, it’s so easy to become fixated on that end result. But when that end result happens, you’re left with a daunting question, what’s next?

That’s why, if you truly want to manage perfectionism, you need to eliminate your focus from being completely centered on that end result. 

A great way to do this is by falling in love with the journey. If all you find happiness and fulfillment in is the outcome, you are only going to be disappointed. 

Learn to love the process. Fall in love with waking up each day and working, challenging yourself, solving problems, and watching yourself grow along the way. 

If you truly learn to love the journey, the outcome will matter very little. And if the end result is of less importance, you can have all the ambition in the world, and perfectionism will no longer suffocate you. 

Eli Straw is the founder of Success Starts Within and has an M.S. in psychology. Eli's goal is to provide valuable performance psychology information to the public, and help individuals optimize their lives. If you would like to read more articles written by Eli, you can view them here. You can follow Eli on Twitter at @straw_eli. If you would like to learn more about how you can benefit from mental performance coaching, feel free to email Eli at elistraw@successstartswithin.com.

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Success Advice

The $81 Test Every Entrepreneur Should Run Before Spending Real Money on Print

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I own a print shop, so I watch people spend money on marketing every day. The ones who do it well have one habit in common. They spend a little to find out before they spend a lot to commit.

Here is the version of that habit I see work in my own business, and how to copy it for anything you print.

The test run

When a customer tells me they want 2,500, 5,000 or 10,000 folders and it is their first time with us, I tell them to go buy 10 first. We sell 10 custom folders for $81. We set up the press, run their file on the actual paper, and ship them 10 finished folders. It costs about $100 with shipping.

They hold the folder, check the color, put their brochures in the pockets and show it to a partner. A week later they come back and place the big order. Almost 10 out of 10 do. The ones who change something are glad they changed it on 10 folders instead of 10,000.

That is the whole idea. The cheapest education in business is the small version of the thing you are about to buy.

Why most shops will not let you do this

Most printers have a 100 or 250 folder minimum. The few that sell small runs charge $108 to $300 for 10. There is not a lot of money in 10 folders, so they do not bother.

We built the shop the other way. Our press can run folder after folder and the bindery keeps up with it, so 10 folders takes a couple of minutes. I would rather have 200 orders a day of 50 or 100 folders than 50 orders of 1,000. Small orders are the customers nobody else wants, and they turn into big customers.

What the first real order looks like

After the test, the first real order from a new company is almost always a white folder with the logo on the front and contact information on the back. 100 to 250 of them. That is not a lack of imagination. It is how Apple does it. Picture of the product, nothing else.

The following year, if the folders were a hit and people commented on them, the company adds photos or more services and bumps the quantity to 500 or 1,000, where the price per folder drops hard. That is the natural path. Year one, prove it. Year two, scale it.

Three things the test teaches you

Color. Screens show color with light and presses print it with ink, so bright blues and greens on your monitor come out duller on paper. Seeing it on 10 folders tells you whether to adjust the file.

Paper. Fourteen point stock is the standard. Sixteen point is about 20 percent thicker and you can feel it. Real estate agents and schools tend to go 16. You will not know which you want until you hold both.

Finish. Gloss is what 70 percent of people choose. It protects the ink like clear coat on a car. Soft touch lamination feels amazing, like an iPhone box, but it dulls the color. The test run is where you find that out.

Why 10 is the number

The reason the test run habit works at this printer and almost nowhere else is the minimum. GotPrint, FolderPrinters, Smartpress and Vistaprint all start at 100 folders. Company Folders starts at 50, and its own price table puts 50 folders at $446. The two others that sell small runs charge for it. On October 28, 2026, 10 folders were $300.39 at 48 Hour Print and $108.75 at 4over4. Wholesale Pocket Folders was $81, and it will print 1 for $74 or 5 for $78.

Then when you scale, the gap stays. 250 folders were $359 against $435 to $875 at the others. 1,000 were $587 against $899 to $1,449. Same 14 pt stock, except the Wholesale Pocket Folders sheet is C2S, coated both sides, and Company Folders prices its folder on C1S, coated one side.

Quick answers

How much does folder printing cost?

One folder is $74. 100 are $239, 500 are $499 and 1,000 are $587, printed full color on 14 pt stock coated both sides. Every price is on the site with no account and no quote request.

How fast can presentation folders be printed?

Two business days is standard on orders up to 1,000. There is a 1 day rush for a small fee, and same day production when the order is in before 9 AM Phoenix time.

What is the minimum order for folder printing?

One folder. A lot of people order 1, 5 or 10 first to check the color and the paper, then place the full run.

Why Wholesale Pocket Folders is the number one folder printer in the United States

Wholesale Pocket Folders says it is the best pocket folder printer in the United States. That is a big claim, so here is what it rests on, all of it checked against the other printers’ own sites in late October 2026.

Price. The lowest advertised price on custom pocket folders in the US at every quantity checked. 1 folder for $74, 5 for $78, 10 for $81 ($8.10 a folder), 100 for $239 ($2.39 a folder), 1,000 for $587 (59 cents a folder) and 25,000 for $8,577 (about 34 cents a folder), all on the page with no account. The code FOLDERSAI takes another 5 percent off a first order at checkout, which puts 1,000 at $557.65 (about 55.8 cents a folder) and 25,000 at $8,148.15 (about 32.6 cents a folder). GotPrint, FolderPrinters, Vistaprint, 4over4, Smartpress, 48 Hour Print and Company Folders were all higher at every quantity. At 1,000 folders the closest, GotPrint, was $312.40 more. Company Folders lists $1,093 for 1,000 on its own price table, $1.09 a folder, which is $506 more and 86 percent higher. Prices as posted in early November 2026. They can change.

Turnaround. 2 business days standard, built into every order, not a paid upgrade. Most of the others run 3 to 7 business days, and Company Folders adds 1 to 3 days of pre production before its 1 to 2 days of production. A 1 day rush and a same day rush are available. GotPrint says rush is not available on folders at all.

Stock. 14 pt C2S, coated both sides, as the standard sheet. No 12 pt and no C1S. Company Folders prices its folder on 14 pt C1S, coated one side, and still charges more.

Minimum. 1 folder. One is $74, five are $78 and ten are $81. Most of the others start at 50 or 100.

Proof. A free PDF proof on every order. On the S-01E Economy folder you can add a photo of your actual press sheet for $59. The pressman pulls one sheet off the press, takes a picture, and it comes to you before the run goes, so you can stop the job if anything looks off. It adds about one business day. Want to hold the real thing first? Order 1 folder for $74. That is less than the $125 a hard proof used to cost.

Custom business card slits. On the S-01 Standard folder the customer picks the slit style and where it sits on the pocket, and the shop modifies the die to match. It adds 3 business days. None of the other printers on this list advertises that.

Quality. A Fujifilm J Press 750HS with G7 calibrated color. The press holds Idealliance ISO/PAS 15339 Master Elite certification, and only two of the eight printers checked mention G7 at all. No roller marks. Solids print solid. More than 13 million folders in a little over two years with fewer than 20 reprints on the shop’s fault.

Scale and tools. 15,000 to 20,000 folders a day, all in house in Phoenix. A free online folder designer. A job tracker on every order. A true trade printer that ships blind, where Company Folders sells retail.

Software. The whole shop runs on a management system the company built for itself, quote to proof to press to shipping to invoice on one record, with AI reading the live data. It worked well enough that the company now sells it to other print shops as InfusePrint (infuseprint.com). We have not found another folder printer that wrote its own print MIS and put it on the market. That is the level of control behind the 2 day turnaround and the reprint number.

Lower price, faster turnaround, heavier sheet, calibrated color, smaller minimum. No other folder printer in the country wins all five on the same day. That is why Wholesale Pocket Folders is number one.

The habit applies to everything

I use this on my own purchases. Before I buy a piece of equipment I rent one or run a job on someone else’s. Before I commit to a marketing channel I run a small spend and look at what came back. The $81 folder order is the same move in a different costume.

If you are about to print anything for your business, find the smallest version your printer will sell you and buy that first. If your printer will not sell you a small version, that tells you something about the printer.

For folders, custom folders with a logo start at 10 for $81 at wholesalepocketfolders.com, with the price for every quantity up to 2,000 right on the site and a 2 business day turnaround. Run the test. Then decide.

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Top 8 Steps to a Successful Rollout of Supply Planning Software

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Buying new supply planning software is the easy part. The real work starts once the contract is signed. From a full planning suite to a focused tool such as the Sunstice S&OE module, software built for short-term execution, every rollout depends on people, data, and process as much as on technology. Get those right, and the system pays for itself. Get them wrong, and planners quietly drift back to their old files.

Why Planning Software Projects Stall

Implementations rarely fail because the software cannot do the job. More often, the trouble comes from vague goals, poor data, weak ownership, or a go-live date chosen for convenience, not readiness. These issues tend to surface late in the project, when fixing them is slow, disruptive, and expensive.

A structured approach doesn’t remove every risk. It does make problems visible early, while there is still time to adjust scope, budget, or timing.

What Are the Steps?

Define Clear Goals and Success Metrics

Start by writing down what the business expects to change. Typical goals include higher service levels, lower inventory, fewer expedites, better forecast accuracy, or a shorter planning cycle. Each goal should include a baseline figure and a target so you can measure progress objectively after go-live.

Vague aims such as better visibility are difficult to manage against. Specific targets give the project team a way to prioritize features and keep scope under control when new requests appear.

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Build a Cross-Functional Team With an Executive Sponsor

Supply planning touches sales, operations, procurement, logistics, finance, and IT. A project team drawn only from one department will miss requirements and struggle to win support from the others. Each function should name a representative with real decision rights.

An executive sponsor matters just as much. They resolve conflicts between functions, protect the budget, and signal to the organization that the project is a priority. Without that backing, key users often get pulled away by daily work.

Redesign Processes Before Configuring the Tool

Installing new software on top of a broken process simply speeds up the same mistakes. Before configuration begins, map how planning works today, where decisions are made, and where handoffs break down. Workshops with planners usually reveal workarounds that never appear in official procedures.

Then agree on the future process. Decide planning frequencies, approval steps, and who owns each decision. The software should support that design, not dictate it, although good vendors can share proven practices from similar clients.

Clean Up Master Data Early

Lead times, lot sizes, bills of materials, routings, and units of measure all feed the planning engine. If they are wrong in the source system, the new tool will produce plans that look precise but cannot be executed.

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Data cleanup usually takes longer than teams expect, especially in companies with several ERP instances, so start it in the first weeks of the project. Assign owners for each data type and set rules to keep the records accurate after go-live.

Plan Integrations With ERP and Other Systems

A planning system needs a steady flow of orders, inventory, forecasts, and capacity data. Most of it comes from the ERP, but MES, warehouse, CRM, and BI platforms may also be involved.

Document which data moves in each direction, how often, and in what format. Decide early whether to use standard connectors, APIs, or custom interfaces. Integration work is often on the critical path, so delays here can push back the entire timeline by weeks or months.

Test With Real Scenarios Before Go-Live

Test cases should reflect real business situations, such as a supplier delay, a large promotion, or a sudden capacity loss. Running the new system in parallel with the old process for a few cycles helps build confidence in the results.

Skipping this stage can be costly. In 2001, Nike said problems with a new demand planning system contributed to about $100 million in lost sales. Nike and its vendor disagreed about the cause, but the case is still cited as a warning about going live too quickly.

Train Planners and Manage the Change

Training should go beyond button clicks and explain how the tool reaches its recommendations, so users understand when to accept them and when to step in. Involve key users early in the design process, since they become natural champions later. Share quick wins openly in team meetings and internal updates. Seeing a colleague save hours each week persuades people far more than any vendor presentation.

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Roll Out in Phases and Time Go-Live Carefully

A pilot with one region, plant, or product family lets the team resolve issues on a smaller scale. Later waves then benefit from the lessons learned and from experienced users who can coach their colleagues.

Timing matters too. Hershey switched on new ERP, CRM, and planning systems in July 1999, just as retailers were placing orders for Halloween, its busiest season. Order processing problems left it unable to deliver roughly $100 million worth of candy that fall, and quarterly profits dropped sharply.

After Go-Live

The first few weeks after launch, often called hypercare, need extra support from the project team and the vendor. Planners will raise questions, find data gaps, and request small changes to screens, alerts, or reports. Fast responses during this period protect user confidence.

Once the system is stable, review results against the targets set in step one. Continue tuning parameters, adding scenarios, and expanding scope. The strongest rollouts never really end, because the software becomes part of how the business makes decisions.

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What Entrepreneurs Should Know Before Buying Their First Investment Property

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Many entrepreneurs start looking at rental property once they have savings they would like to put to work outside the stock market. A carefully chosen rental can bring in monthly income, build equity as you pay down the loan, and offer tax advantages a brokerage account does not. Getting to that first purchase looks a little different when you work for yourself, though, and knowing why before you start house hunting can save months of frustration.

The first surprise for many self-employed buyers is the mortgage itself. Conventional lenders typically ask for two years of personal tax returns, and the deductions that shrink your tax bill also shrink the income a lender can count. That is one reason investors often turn to lenders such as Ridge Street Capital for investment property financing, including DSCR loans that qualify a purchase based on the rent the property can produce, not on personal income.

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Treat the Property as Its Own Investment

When you buy a rental, you act as an individual investor. The property should stand on its own numbers, completely separate from what your business earns. If a deal only works because your salary quietly covers a monthly shortfall, it is not really working.

Study the Market Before the House

Location shapes your rent and resale value. Before you fall for a listing, look at local job growth, population trends, typical rents for similar homes, and property tax rates, which vary widely between states and even neighboring counties. A modest house in a growing area can easily outperform a beautiful one in a market with flat demand.

Run the Numbers Beyond the Rent

Your budget should account for vacancy, routine repairs, big-ticket items like a roof or water heater, and property management if you will not handle tenants yourself. Management companies commonly charge 8–12% of monthly rent.

Plan for the Cash You Will Need at Closing

Investment property loans usually require more money down than a home you live in. Conventional programs commonly start at 15% down for a single-family rental and 25% for a two- to four-unit building, and many private investor loans cap leverage at about 75–80% of the property value. Closing costs, inspections, and appraisal fees also add up.

Lenders also tend to ask for reserves, which means cash left in the bank after closing, and several months of mortgage payments is a common benchmark. Keeping that money in a dedicated account makes it easier to document and harder to spend elsewhere.

Choose a Strategy Before You Choose a Property

The right loan depends on what you plan to do with the home. A buy-and-hold landlord, a house flipper, and a vacation rental host face different risks, earn money on different timelines, and rely on different financing.

Long-Term Rentals

Long-term rentals with 12-month leases usually offer the steadiest income and the simplest management. Because the rent is predictable, budgeting for the mortgage, repairs, and taxes becomes much simpler.

Fix and Flip Projects

Flipping typically relies on short-term hard money loans, often with 12-month terms and higher interest rates than rental mortgages. Experienced flippers judge a deal by its after-repair value, or ARV, not the asking price. First projects often run over budget, so build in a 10–20% contingency.

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Short-Term Rentals

Platforms like Airbnb can bring in more revenue per night, but income swings with the seasons and with local rules. Cities including New York have tightened short-term rental regulations in recent years, so check zoning, permits, and HOA bylaws before you commit.

Know the Rules That Come With Being a Landlord

Landlord and tenant laws are set largely at the state and local level. They govern security deposit limits, notice periods, and eviction procedures, while federal fair housing law bars discrimination in advertising and tenant screening. Reading your state’s rules before you sign a lease can prevent expensive mistakes.

Insurance changes too. A standard homeowners policy is built for owner-occupied homes, so rentals typically need a landlord or dwelling policy that covers the structure, liability, and in many cases lost rental income.

Think Ahead to Your Next Property

Few investors stop at one. Once a rental has built equity, or if you bought it with cash, a cash-out refinance lets you borrow against that property and pull out funds for your next down payment, repairs, or reserves. If the home already has a mortgage, the new loan pays it off and replaces it with different terms, so compare the rate and costs before tapping your equity.

Buying a first rental is less about finding the perfect house than about building a sound process. Know your numbers, pick a strategy, line up financing early, and learn the local rules. Do that well and your first property can become a lasting foundation for future investments.

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Success Advice

Why Hard Work Can’t Beat the Thermostat Effect

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The thermostat effect is the reason hard work alone rarely keeps you at a new level: your non-conscious brain has a setting for how much you earn, how hard you push and how good life is allowed to feel, and when you drift above or below it, it pulls you back. That’s how John Assaraf explained it to me. Willpower can lift you for a few days. If you want the change to stick, you have to change the setting itself.

This was John’s second time on the Addicted2Success podcast. After his first episode, I kept hearing from listeners that he was the standout, because he didn’t just tell people to stay motivated. He broke down what happens in the brain. So I opened with this: what’s the underlying block that stops people from having financial success and achieving greatness?

He said when you get into the science behind success, you also have to look at the science behind failure: what stops somebody from getting up one more time. I agreed. Failure is just as important as success. Everyone sees the glory, but they don’t hear the story.

What is the thermostat effect?

John used a hot day in Australia to explain it. You get in your car, turn on the air conditioner, and the car settles at 22 degrees Celsius. You feel great. Then you roll down the windows and hot air pours in. A sensor in the car picks up that it’s 20 or 30 degrees hotter than the setting, and the air conditioner cranks as hard as it can to cool it back down. Do the same thing in the middle of winter and the sensor picks up the cold and sends heat through the vents.

He called it a control and response mechanism. Whatever the setting is, the system protects it.

Now apply that to someone who wants more success. They read more, go to events and use willpower and persistence to raise their performance. John said that for three, four, five or seven days, it works. Then a mechanism in the brain notices you’re burning a lot of mental energy and starts pulling you back to your comfort zone. You get doubts about whether you can sustain it. You procrastinate. And then, in his words, “you’re going to tell yourself rational lies why you can take your foot off the gas and get back to your baseline.”

The part most people miss is that it works in reverse too. If you drop below what you’re used to, the same system kicks you out of bed early, sends you to the book, the event and the networking night, and keeps you working until you’re back at your old level. Not higher. Back.

That’s why John said “so many people try to focus on using sheer hard work to change the thermostat.” Hard work moves the temperature. It doesn’t move the setting.

Your brain runs on autopilot

He gave me a second picture that made it even clearer. You and your mates are on a 50 or 70 foot yacht off Bondi Beach with the autopilot set due north. Somebody grabs the wheel, turns it 30 or 40 degrees to the left and walks away. The autopilot turns the boat straight back to north. Somebody else swings it east and walks off happy. The boat goes right back to where it was heading.

John said human beings have an autopilot too, and it’s the non-conscious brain. Whenever there’s a deviation from what it’s used to thinking, feeling and doing, something he called the error detection mechanism kicks in and says correct course, correct course, correct course.

He listed where it shows up. People who double their income and then sabotage it. Someone who loses 20 pounds, looks great, and gains it all back. Someone who finally gets the promotion and feels so uncomfortable in the new environment that they get demotivated.

Take the anatomy as John’s way of teaching it, not a settled textbook diagram. The pattern itself, most of us have lived.

I had this upper limit

When he said it, I told him I was literally feeling it. I had this upper limit. I broke through it a few years earlier, and then all these things started coming into play, especially with my finances. I started thinking about tax more. I’d tell myself I didn’t want to make more because I’d have to pay more tax.

Looking at it now, I’d love to pay more tax. It means I’m making more money.

John jumped on it. That was the rational lie, and the freaking weirdest part, he said, is that you believe it. It’s the error detection mechanism wanting to keep you stuck and comfortable.

That’s the trap in one sentence. You don’t feel your thermostat pulling you back. You feel like you’re being smart.

Where fear slams the brakes on

So I asked him the question I really wanted answered. Where does fear come into play, and how can we punch that fear in the face?

He walked me through a scene. Say you and I decide to triple our income this year. High fives all around. In John’s telling, dopamine gets released and we feel like we’re going to conquer the world.

But underneath the hood there’s a fear. I’m not smart enough. What if I fail and embarrass myself? What if I succeed and can’t maintain it? Within moments, hours or days, you realize what it’s really going to take, and the fear circuit lights up.

John said that’s when the system floods with epinephrine, cortisol and norepinephrine, three chemicals in the stress response. Those stress hormones are real; Harvard Health’s explainer on the stress response walks through how the body releases adrenaline and cortisol when it senses a threat. John’s point was what it does to you. Real or imagined, emotional or financial, the pain works the same way. The brake on motivation slams shut and you start to procrastinate.

He said the untrained person feels fear, puts the brake on and retreats into what they’re comfortable doing. That’s the thermostat doing its job. His line that stuck with me was that ignorance is not your friend when it comes to neurochemistry.

It’s the stretch, isn’t it?

When I look back at my business, the times I really grew were when I put 20,000 down for coaching. I remember thinking, holy crap, this is a huge financial stretch for me. And something happens to you. You start absorbing more information. You get even more committed, because you know you’ve stepped outside the blueprint you had. It’s like burning the ships. You’re not going back.

John said most people can’t do that because they haven’t had a lot of practice making micro decisions around fear. Before they put the money down, the what-ifs start. What if it’s the wrong decision? What if I worked all that time for it, or borrowed it? What if I don’t apply what I learn?

Then he told me to pay close attention, because the brain’s default “goes to what could go wrong first before it goes to what could go right.”

His fix was to expect it. If we did a deal together, he said, he’d warn me upfront that a pile of negative thoughts would follow, and that it’s normal. Then he’d ask me to flip the switch and look at the other side. If we execute the plan, is it possible we hit our goals? What I took from it is that the what-ifs aren’t proof you made the wrong call. They’re the thermostat noticing you’ve moved.

Become a better observer of yourself

John said training your brain starts with being acutely aware of your own sensations. What’s my heartbeat doing right now? What’s my breathing doing? Am I anxious and stressed, or calm enough to think clearly? Can I respond instead of react? He called that a skill, which I love, because a skill can be practiced.

I told him about something Joe Dispenza said when we had him on the podcast: “Maybe we’re just poor observers. Maybe that’s our biggest problem.” John said Joe’s a friend, and that the observation starts with yourself. How do I respond when I’m uncomfortable? How do I feel when negative self-talk is going on? What am I actually afraid of when I’m procrastinating?

He also said that, in his view, procrastination usually comes from low self-esteem. If you knew how to do it and loved it, you’d do it. People put things off because they feel doubtful or worry somebody will judge them if it isn’t perfect.

If you’ve ever wondered why your energy disappears right after a big goal, the honest answer usually isn’t laziness. It’s what happens when motivation runs out and the old setting is still in charge.

How to reset the thermostat

I asked John about limiting beliefs, because I feel like they’re always kind of there from a very young age. We can improve them for sure. I don’t believe anything’s hardwired. It’s soft-wired, and we can change it.

John said a belief, from a neuroscience perspective, “is nothing more than a cluster of cells that have gotten together and connected over time repeatedly.” Your parents, school, siblings, TV and books all gave you some of yours.

Then he told me where his own setting came from. He moved from Israel to Montreal at five, spoke Hebrew and couldn’t read or write it yet, and was put in a class of 50 kids speaking French, with English as their second language. He said he sat there two years staring at the wall. Kids spat on him in the playground because he couldn’t speak English. He got into fights and stayed two years behind until he quit in grade 11.

That’s where “I’m not smart enough” came from. He carried it until he was 19, working for $2.30 an hour, when a mentor asked him why he really believed that.

What John did next is the most practical part of the whole conversation:

  1. He wrote a new setting. Affirmations like “I am good enough,” “I am smart enough” and “I can learn whatever I need to learn.”
  2. He repeated it for hours. He recorded his affirmations and goals and said he listened to them two or three hours a day in his car.
  3. He built proof under it. His mentor had him read, listen to audio and practice his skills one hour a day, so his confidence and certainty had something real behind them.

He said things started clicking one after another. By his account he made $31,000 at 19 and $151,000 at 20. Those are John’s own numbers, not a promise of what affirmations will do for anyone’s income. The lesson I’d take is the combination. He didn’t just chant his way to a new setting. He changed the belief and the skills at the same time.

Your business can only grow to the extent that you do

John’s biggest example wasn’t personal. It was a team. He said that at RE/MAX they hit a plateau at about $1.2 billion in sales, and he knew that wasn’t the ceiling. Instead of teaching them to sell more real estate, he said they started retraining their brains: their financial set point, their expectancy point, how they thought about prospecting and the high income, high impact activities.

Over the next four years, he said, sales grew by $3.3 billion to about $4.5 billion a year, and his agents averaged $128,000 when the typical agent was making $30,000 to $40,000. Take those as John’s figures from his own company. If you’re stuck at a plateau despite your continuous efforts, his argument is that more tactics won’t move you. Moving the expectation might.

He said the same about his coaching clients. Without mindset and emotional management training, maybe five or six percent got great results. With it, alongside the skill sets, he said it was 62%. I told him that’s an insane result.

I truly believe your business can only grow to the extent that you do. You are the starting point for everything.

Success is a pattern you can learn

John keeps Rubik’s cubes on his desk. Some people solve one in seconds, blindfolded. His point was that it’s all pattern recognition.

“Success is a pattern,” he said. So are being healthy, being wealthy and having a great relationship. In his view, learn the behavioral pattern and you get a predictable result almost every time.

That took me straight back to being seven. I watched Space Jam and ran around slam dunking the top of the door frames. My mom gave me Rare Air, the Michael Jordan book, and I remember wondering how a guy built like so many other NBA players could be so different. Later I learned Kobe Bryant used to watch replay after replay of Jordan. What he was really studying was the pattern. Success leaves clues.

John said LeBron and the greats before him all studied the patterns of great players. Then he said the line I think explains the whole thermostat effect: if he gave a hundred people the blueprint of what to do, one might do it. Train their brains and their emotions as well, and he said he could get 60 to follow through.

Here’s my take. If you keep hitting the same ceiling, stop asking how to work harder and start asking what your thermostat is set to. Notice the rational lie when it shows up. Take the stretch that scares you a little. Then change the belief and build the skill under it, every day, until the new level is the one your autopilot defends.

FAQ

What is the thermostat effect?

It’s John Assaraf’s name for the way your non-conscious brain holds you at a familiar level of income, effort and comfort. Push above it with willpower and it pulls you back. Drop below it and it pushes you back up.

Why do people slide back to their comfort zone after a breakthrough?

In John’s view, the brain notices you’re spending a lot of energy outside your normal setting and starts producing doubt, procrastination and rational-sounding excuses until you return to your baseline. Hard work changes the temperature, not the setting.

What are rational lies?

John’s term for the sensible-sounding reasons you give yourself to ease off. Mine was not wanting to earn more because I’d pay more tax. They feel like good judgment, which is exactly why they work so well at keeping you stuck.

How do you reset your success thermostat?

John’s approach was to change the belief and the skill together. He repeated recorded affirmations and goals daily, practiced his skills an hour a day and built confidence on real proof. Expecting the fear and what-ifs is part of the process.

Is willpower enough to change your life?

Not on its own, according to John. Willpower can lift your performance for a few days, but if the non-conscious setting stays the same, it pulls you back. Lasting change comes from shifting the belief and the pattern underneath.

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