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5 Ways To Find Your Purpose So You Won’t Miss Your Moment

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5 Ways To Find Your Purpose So You Won't Miss Your Moment

There’s a moment somewhere between planning a dream and putting it into action. Most of us can dream, we can even visualize our success. We attend seminars to build our plan and to be inspired. We pay for strategizing, mentors, cheerleaders, and how-to programs until we’ve spent enough to buy a luxury car.

I’m not saying these coaches and mastermind sessions are wrong; they serve a valuable purpose if you know what you’re looking for. What I am suggesting is that there is a moment, half as long as an inhaled breath that lingers between having a plan and acting on it.

Have you ever planned to get up early in the morning to work out? You set the alarm for 5 a.m. You even determine to have it across the room so you can’t hit the snooze. The alarm goes off. You get up to turn it off. There’s the moment! You face ‘the moment’ choice; work out or go back to bed.

If you go back to bed, some may say you’re lazy, lack discipline, or aren’t serious. I’ve seen the most disciplined person metaphorically go back to bed. What’s in that moment that will make some get up and work the plan?

Focus is part of discipline, motivation can be fickle, and perseverance and determination must have a birthplace. Standing on a cliff, one hundred feet above water there must be a strong enough reason to actually jump. If a loved one, or a child, were drowning, and you had the ability to save them, jumping would be second in thought for almost all of us.

What changed? The Why. The purpose. The moment between planning and doing is the reason behind the plan. What motivates a person to plan and then act? 

 

What's-your-why-
 

For some of us, being held hostage by fear is enough to agree to try and fail rather than wonder later in life what might’ve happened if you’d tried. Maybe you’ll need to start with facing down your fears.

For others, avoiding regrets will be your bridge to cross over. Regrets don’t buy memories, get on with being regret free.  When you’re sitting in that rocker during your golden years, you’ll want a story rather than a ‘what if’?

Spanning that gap between planning and acting may be as simple as defining your purpose. Once you know why you want to do what you want to do, it’s the rope that you can build the bridge to cross over on.

Here are 5 steps you might need to take:

 

1. What do you want?

Dreams are the spice of life that keep us engaged in living. Based on your hopes, passions, skills and current situation, determine your end goal. Once you know where you want to be—what success will look like—then you can begin to work backward to where you are. Setting steps in incremental pieces will set your plan in motion. Ask yourself the hard questions:

  •       Can you do this for long hours every day?
  •       Is there a market to make a living at what you want?
  •       Does this fulfill a purpose in you?
  •       Does this align with who you are and who you want to be?
  •       What’s the first step I need to take?

 

2. What will it take to get it?

Listing the positives and negatives will build a clear plan inspiring confidence to move forward. Ask yourself where will this plan put me? Where will I be if I don’t follow through? Are you a person who prefers being an employee or an entrepreneur? Don’t be fooled, you’ll work much harder at being an entrepreneur than you will at being an employee, but the entrepreneur is limited only by themselves. Perhaps by asking this question, you’ll discover you prefer to let someone else carve the way, and you’re happy charting the path.

 

3. Research the possibilities and your expectations

Know the answers before the questions are asked. It’s your dream, and you should know what it takes to get there so well that you’ll recognize when opportunities arrive. Successful people like to pass on their secrets. Look for people who can help you along the way. Align yourself with their methods, later you can find your own process and techniques.

 

4. Be prepared for opportunities to come your way

Business owners tend to want to see others succeed, use them for knowledge, accountability, quality evaluations and as a resource. They often can see quickly and clearly what you cannot. Every new business owner makes rookie mistakes, use them to invite change. Eliminating a shotgun approach will help you filter opportunities and move you forward quicker. Network with other entrepreneurs to see what they are doing. Write down all the great ideas you hear, and adapt them for your business. Be open to asking other entrepreneurs and customers what they think you’re doing right, wrong and areas you could improve in. You’ll be surprised at the great ideas you can gather. When customers are invested in you, you’ll be amazed how many more opportunities will come your way.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching.” – Gerard Way

5. How will you know when you’re ready to jump?

Once you’ve laid out a clear plan, and you have a pretty good idea what the outcome will be, you’ll build the confidence you need to jump. Starting your own business is hard work. At times, the hours are long and tedious. The guarantee of a paycheck isn’t there until you establish yourself and for a while you may wear many hats. Having a plan, like a map, will help to hang on when it gets tough and you’ll be less likely to give up.  Ask yourself again, “Why did you first begin this adventure?” No matter the reason that got you here, the comfortable cliff standers, or the leap before we look swimmers…there comes a time when the reasons for jumping become stronger than staying. There will always be adjustments, but your plan will give you the confidence you’ll need to jump.

 

If you are prepared with your purpose, understanding where you are going, then when opportunity knocks, ANSWER THE DOOR!

What did it take to move you from where you were to where you wanted to be? Why did you jump?

Pam is a freelance writer passionate about family and equipping others to personal success. Her online magazine, The Modern Woman (www.TMWLife.com ) is written for women, but works hard to equip parents and entrepreneurs to be their own boss of: schedules, influence and income levels. You can find her at www.pamalajvincent.com , Facebook and Twitter.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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